0:28:02 > 0:28:03Across the UK...
0:28:03 > 0:28:06Sightings have been reported of a mysterious object in the sky.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09- What does it want from us? - Thousands of children...
0:28:09 > 0:28:10Hoping they will be chosen.
0:28:10 > 0:28:15One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17He is...
0:28:18 > 0:28:20..the Joke Master.
0:28:20 > 0:28:21Did someone say...
0:28:22 > 0:28:24..my name?
0:28:24 > 0:28:26And this is the Joke Machine.
0:28:30 > 0:28:32Joke Machine, activate.
0:28:32 > 0:28:35Ah! Oh! Ah! Aah!
0:28:37 > 0:28:38Joke Machine activate?
0:28:42 > 0:28:43Where are we going?
0:28:51 > 0:28:53Let's get cracking, jokers.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57These jokes better be hot.
0:28:58 > 0:29:00Why did the child study in the aeroplane?
0:29:00 > 0:29:01Why?
0:29:01 > 0:29:02Because he wanted a higher education.
0:29:02 > 0:29:06Eh! And the point just added more to it.
0:29:07 > 0:29:10# Celebration time, come on! #
0:29:13 > 0:29:15Why did the strawberry need a lawyer?
0:29:15 > 0:29:16Cos it was in a jam.
0:29:16 > 0:29:19I like it and I like your hairdo.
0:29:19 > 0:29:21Yes!
0:29:21 > 0:29:22Next joke.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24What do you call a blind dinosaur?
0:29:24 > 0:29:25What?
0:29:25 > 0:29:28A blindosaurus, of course.
0:29:28 > 0:29:29Brilliant.
0:29:29 > 0:29:30Yay!
0:29:30 > 0:29:31Give me the next one.
0:29:31 > 0:29:35There was a woman and she lived in a bungalow and she loved pink.
0:29:35 > 0:29:38Her clothes were pink, her shoes were pink,
0:29:38 > 0:29:41her curtains were pink and even her bed was pink.
0:29:41 > 0:29:43What colour was her stairs?
0:29:44 > 0:29:45Pink?
0:29:45 > 0:29:47No, a bungalow doesn't have stairs.
0:29:47 > 0:29:49BUZZER SOUNDS Oh! Now I'm in a bad mood!
0:29:51 > 0:29:53Aaaaahh!
0:29:54 > 0:29:56- Aaahhh! - CRASH!
0:29:57 > 0:29:59Come on, buddy, hit me with it.
0:29:59 > 0:30:00Knock knock.
0:30:00 > 0:30:01Who is there?
0:30:01 > 0:30:03- Scott.- Scott who?
0:30:03 > 0:30:05- Scott nothing to do with you. - BUZZER SOUNDS
0:30:05 > 0:30:07Actually, it's got everything to do with me,
0:30:07 > 0:30:08cos you've just knocked on my door.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12CRASH!
0:30:13 > 0:30:15Joke me up, hotshot.
0:30:15 > 0:30:16What is an ig?
0:30:16 > 0:30:18An igloo without a toilet.
0:30:18 > 0:30:22BUZZER SOUNDS Whooooaa! Not funny!
0:30:22 > 0:30:26You chicken, I'm going to eat you up with a bowl of baked beans!
0:30:26 > 0:30:29HE CLUCKS
0:30:29 > 0:30:31Baked beans!
0:30:37 > 0:30:39Let's get me some new jokes.
0:30:47 > 0:30:48ALL: Like a boss!
0:30:52 > 0:30:56OK, Class Two. Am I buying what you're selling, mmm?
0:30:58 > 0:30:59Get joking.
0:30:59 > 0:31:02Why was the Egyptian girl worried?
0:31:02 > 0:31:03Because her daddy was a mummy.
0:31:03 > 0:31:05I'm going to have to fix my spaceship,
0:31:05 > 0:31:07because you just tore the roof off.
0:31:07 > 0:31:09Yay, that's me.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13Why was the pelican kicked out of the hotel?
0:31:13 > 0:31:14Why?
0:31:14 > 0:31:16Because he had a large bill.
0:31:16 > 0:31:21You are panning for gold, my friend, and you've just made yourself rich.
0:31:21 > 0:31:22Yes!
0:31:22 > 0:31:25We are rolling along. This is good stuff.
0:31:25 > 0:31:27What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
0:31:27 > 0:31:28I don't know.
0:31:28 > 0:31:30Look at the board and I'll go through it again.
0:31:30 > 0:31:31BUZZER SOUNDS
0:31:31 > 0:31:34What do all the ghosts in the world say to that joke? Boooo.
0:31:34 > 0:31:37- Well, I've got a joke for you. - Go on.
0:31:37 > 0:31:40Who is dumb and knows nothing about jokes?
0:31:40 > 0:31:41I don't know, who?
0:31:41 > 0:31:43- You.- Whoa! That hurts.
0:31:43 > 0:31:45You're wasting my time, you know?
0:31:45 > 0:31:48You're wasting my time and my oxygen.
0:31:48 > 0:31:49Tick tock, tick tock.
0:31:49 > 0:31:52Tick tock, tick tock. Drop drop, drop drop.
0:31:53 > 0:31:56Aaaahhh!
0:31:56 > 0:31:57CRASH!
0:31:59 > 0:32:04There were two men in the plane. One called Sam and one called Geronimo.
0:32:04 > 0:32:07Sam jumped out of the plane and shouted, "Geronimo!"
0:32:07 > 0:32:10Geronimo jumped out and said, "Me!"
0:32:10 > 0:32:11BUZZER SOUNDS
0:32:12 > 0:32:14SHE SCREAMS
0:32:16 > 0:32:19Hmm, who was the victor?
0:32:21 > 0:32:23It was... DRUM ROLL
0:32:23 > 0:32:24You.
0:32:25 > 0:32:26Pond Park.
0:32:29 > 0:32:30THEY BOO
0:32:30 > 0:32:34Well, you would have won if this was the Boring Machine.
0:32:34 > 0:32:37Some good jokes there, team, but not enough.
0:32:37 > 0:32:39So we're going to have to do this again.
0:32:39 > 0:32:41Joke you later.