1:03:02 > 1:03:06Sightings have been reported of a mysterious object in the sky.
1:03:06 > 1:03:09- What does it want? - Thousands of children...
1:03:09 > 1:03:11Hoping they'll be chosen.
1:03:11 > 1:03:15One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes.
1:03:15 > 1:03:17He is...
1:03:18 > 1:03:22- ..the Joke Master.- Did someone say my name?
1:03:22 > 1:03:24And this is The Joke Machine!
1:03:28 > 1:03:31Joke Machine, activate.
1:03:31 > 1:03:34Oh, sorry, Cupcake. Joke Machine, activate.
1:03:38 > 1:03:40Where are we going?
1:03:41 > 1:03:44CHEERING
1:03:48 > 1:03:52L-L-L-Let's get cracking, jokers.
1:03:54 > 1:03:56One, two, three, jokes!
1:03:56 > 1:03:59- What did one eye say to the other? - What?
1:03:59 > 1:04:03- Something between us smells. - It is good.
1:04:03 > 1:04:05- Yeah!- Next.
1:04:05 > 1:04:10What do you say when the teacher blames you for not doing homework?
1:04:10 > 1:04:13- No idea.- Can't blame me for something I didn't do.
1:04:13 > 1:04:16The verdict is in, and on charges of being funny, you've been
1:04:16 > 1:04:20- found not guilty.- You know nothing. You're rubbish.
1:04:20 > 1:04:22Get out of my courtroom.
1:04:24 > 1:04:26Bring in the next one.
1:04:26 > 1:04:29- What goes black and white, black and white?- What?
1:04:29 > 1:04:31A penguin rolling down the hill.
1:04:31 > 1:04:34- What's black and white and laughs?- I don't know.
1:04:34 > 1:04:38The penguin that pushed the penguin who is rolling down the hill.
1:04:38 > 1:04:40CLACKING
1:04:40 > 1:04:44- That is percussion for, "Good joke, my friend."- Yes!
1:04:44 > 1:04:46I know.
1:04:46 > 1:04:49# Hit me with your joke, yeah. #
1:04:49 > 1:04:51How do cats do their shopping?
1:04:51 > 1:04:53From a catalogue.
1:04:53 > 1:04:56F-U-N-N-EE!
1:04:56 > 1:05:00- Funny!- Yay!
1:05:00 > 1:05:01Let's keep it going.
1:05:03 > 1:05:07- Go on.- How do you make a tissue dance?
1:05:07 > 1:05:10Put a little boogie in it.
1:05:10 > 1:05:13BOOING I am not having fun anymore.
1:05:14 > 1:05:17SCREAMING
1:05:17 > 1:05:19Ha-ha, ha-ha!
1:05:23 > 1:05:24Next school.
1:05:29 > 1:05:32Spring Bank Primary!
1:05:36 > 1:05:39All joke systems are go.
1:05:40 > 1:05:42Go for it, maestro.
1:05:42 > 1:05:45- What did the frog do when his car broke down?- I don't know.
1:05:45 > 1:05:49- He got toad away.- Oh! Did you see that fly past?
1:05:49 > 1:05:52That was funny and you didn't catch it.
1:05:57 > 1:06:00Bring on the joke train!
1:06:00 > 1:06:02Tell me your joke.
1:06:02 > 1:06:05What's worse than being bitten by Dracula?
1:06:05 > 1:06:07Shaking hands with Captain Hook.
1:06:07 > 1:06:11That was almost as good as this apple, which means it was good.
1:06:11 > 1:06:15- Thank you. Thank you.- Whoo! Next dish, please.
1:06:17 > 1:06:19Please tell me your joke.
1:06:19 > 1:06:24I've got nine eyes, two mouths and five noses. What am I?
1:06:24 > 1:06:26- Sounds like Cupcake's girlfriend. - Ugly.
1:06:27 > 1:06:32- How dare you come in here with that rubbish?- Does my face look bothered?
1:06:32 > 1:06:35Face, bothered. I ain't bothered.
1:06:38 > 1:06:40SCREAMING
1:06:40 > 1:06:42Sorry, Cupcake.
1:06:42 > 1:06:45Well, this has been tedious.
1:06:45 > 1:06:48Did you hear about that movie, Constipation? It never came out.
1:06:48 > 1:06:52Huh! No, my laugh doesn't want to come out either.
1:06:52 > 1:06:53Do you know who I am?
1:06:53 > 1:06:56- Not at all. - Do you actually know who I am?
1:06:56 > 1:06:59Seriously, why would I know who you are?
1:07:05 > 1:07:09Your school needs this joke to be funny. I need this joke to be funny.
1:07:09 > 1:07:12But more importantly, YOU need it to be funny.
1:07:12 > 1:07:15Did you hear about the fight in the fish and chip shop?
1:07:15 > 1:07:18Two fish got battered.
1:07:18 > 1:07:20SIREN
1:07:20 > 1:07:25Wait, that's a f... The fish got battered. I like it! Ha-ha.
1:07:25 > 1:07:27Oh, yeah.
1:07:29 > 1:07:31Whoo!
1:07:31 > 1:07:34I wonder who won that one. Hmm.
1:07:34 > 1:07:36It was...
1:07:36 > 1:07:37Bingo!
1:07:38 > 1:07:40Wallacestone.
1:07:41 > 1:07:45Turn that frown upside down.
1:07:45 > 1:07:48Whoo! We have come to the end of our journey,
1:07:48 > 1:07:52and I've heard a lot of good jokes. And a lot of bad ones!
1:07:52 > 1:07:57So keep a lookout in the sky, because the Joke Master will be back.
1:07:57 > 1:08:02So for the last time, joke you later, jokesters!