Tickle Tournament

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0:00:05 > 0:00:09Many years ago, a terrible plague consumed

0:00:09 > 0:00:12the mighty kingdom of Fyredor.

0:00:12 > 0:00:16The only hope of a cure rested with one young wizard, sent out to scour

0:00:16 > 0:00:19the Earth for precious ingredients.

0:00:20 > 0:00:23After many years, he returned with an antidote.

0:00:26 > 0:00:30The King's sons, Princes Dick and Dom, were the first to be cured.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34- THEY GASP - And the last to be cured.

0:00:34 > 0:00:36They were banished from the kingdom,

0:00:36 > 0:00:38along with their trusty mage, Mannitol,

0:00:38 > 0:00:41and light-fingered servant Lutin.

0:00:41 > 0:00:46All, never to return until they had collected the ingredients

0:00:46 > 0:00:49to remake the antidote.

0:00:49 > 0:00:54And so, The legend Of Dick And Dom had begun.

0:00:54 > 0:00:59In Bottom World, the sun shone brightly,

0:00:59 > 0:01:04the trees glowed like emeralds, and everything was beautiful.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06BUZZING

0:01:06 > 0:01:11Anyway, Princes Dick, Dom and their loyal companions continued on their

0:01:11 > 0:01:16brave quest, sworn to fight danger and face fear.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18Run!

0:01:18 > 0:01:21I love dreams like this.

0:01:21 > 0:01:25- You're not asleep. This is actually happening, you idiot!- Yeah, right.

0:01:25 > 0:01:28Like I'd steal a lot of fish and shove them down my pants.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30Does that sound like something I would do?

0:01:31 > 0:01:33HE SHOUTS MENACINGLY

0:01:36 > 0:01:37SHE SQUEALS

0:01:37 > 0:01:39"Come on a heroic quest," you said.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42"Riches beyond your wildest dreams," you said.

0:01:42 > 0:01:44Does this look like a dream?

0:01:44 > 0:01:46- I think that looks more like a trout.- Fear not, friends.

0:01:46 > 0:01:52I will cast a magnificent spell to rid us of the angry fishmonger.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55- No!- No, don't!

0:01:55 > 0:01:57No, 'tis nothing, 'tis nothing.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00It's a spell to make us all invisible.

0:02:00 > 0:02:05Panini, linguini, the Tweenies, Velcro!

0:02:07 > 0:02:10Oh, great, now we look like a bunch of lanky emus,

0:02:10 > 0:02:12and not even invisible lanky emus.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15Argh!

0:02:17 > 0:02:19Argh!

0:02:20 > 0:02:22Wait!

0:02:22 > 0:02:24The running stops here.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26Why? Cos we're going to face the danger?

0:02:26 > 0:02:28No, because of the lake.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31- Oh, great(!) So now we've just gotta stand here?- Mm.

0:02:31 > 0:02:33HE SHOUTS MENACINGLY

0:02:33 > 0:02:37Oh, great(!) So now I'm just going to get hit by that thing?

0:02:39 > 0:02:42Oh, great(!) So now I'm going to fall over?

0:02:43 > 0:02:48This is it, this is the end. You've been like a brother to me, Dom.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50- I am your brother, you twonk!- True.

0:02:51 > 0:02:53HE SCREAMS

0:02:57 > 0:03:01- HE SHOUTS MENACINGLY - Argh!

0:03:01 > 0:03:03- Oh. - CRASHING

0:03:03 > 0:03:05HE LAUGHS

0:03:05 > 0:03:07Oh.

0:03:07 > 0:03:10HE SHOUTS INCOMPREHENSIBLY

0:03:11 > 0:03:14- Must be some sort of animal trap. - Should have an elf warning on it.

0:03:23 > 0:03:27- Right, is everyone OK? - Yeah, I'm fine.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30SHE COUGHS

0:03:36 > 0:03:38Eurgh, that is gross.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40I have seen this conjury before.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43Lutin has been hexed with the curse of ooh-has.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45- Who has?- She has.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47SHE COUGHS

0:03:48 > 0:03:50FROG RIBBETS

0:03:50 > 0:03:53The curse can last a whole day, or I could conjure up an enchantment

0:03:53 > 0:03:57- to instantly cure you. - No, I'll wait the day, thanks.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59Suit yourself.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02SHE CONTINUES COUGHING

0:04:02 > 0:04:04SHE RETCHES

0:04:04 > 0:04:06CHICKEN CLUCKS

0:04:08 > 0:04:10BOTH: Whoa!

0:04:10 > 0:04:14So, what is it we're looking for anyway?

0:04:15 > 0:04:16Let me remind you.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18One magnofish.

0:04:18 > 0:04:24Yes, the rarest fish in all of Bottom World, highly prized for

0:04:24 > 0:04:27its powers of magnetism.

0:04:27 > 0:04:31So magnetic is the magnofish, that during battle you can hold it

0:04:31 > 0:04:36and control your opponent's sword or rip his shield from his body.

0:04:36 > 0:04:39It's very useful for getting coins from behind cupboards.

0:04:39 > 0:04:42So we've got to find a magnetic fish out of all of this lot.

0:04:42 > 0:04:47- I'm afraid so. - This could be the magnofish.

0:04:47 > 0:04:48Try it, try it.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54- Oh, no, no. - No, I reckon it's this one.

0:04:55 > 0:04:58- No, no.- Is it...?

0:04:58 > 0:05:00No.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02I'd say they're not from round here.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08Yeurgh!

0:05:08 > 0:05:11Eurgh! No. Oh!

0:05:11 > 0:05:13My new blue tunic's ruined.

0:05:13 > 0:05:16Right, well, it's none of these fish.

0:05:16 > 0:05:17Let's get out of here.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19SHOUTING

0:05:19 > 0:05:22Aw, it's the elf. We can't leave him there like that.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25No, you're right, we should steal his valuables.

0:05:25 > 0:05:29- No, we should go and help him. - He's sounding pretty angry though.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32In that case, we need to face our fears.

0:05:34 > 0:05:36- Mannitol, you go.- Oh!

0:05:37 > 0:05:40HE SHOUTS

0:05:40 > 0:05:43Hello, nice, friendly, evil... Argh!

0:05:46 > 0:05:50SHOUTING

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Mannitol, don't go anywhere.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54We will get you out.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56You be looking for a magnofish?

0:05:56 > 0:05:59- How did you know that?- Wizardry?

0:05:59 > 0:06:01I overheard you say it two minutes ago.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Do you know what one looks like?

0:06:03 > 0:06:05We cannot say.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07Do you know where one is?

0:06:07 > 0:06:09We cannot say.

0:06:09 > 0:06:10There's a pike in it for you.

0:06:10 > 0:06:14Now we can say. You be finding the magnofish...

0:06:15 > 0:06:17..over there.

0:06:19 > 0:06:22There it is. And it's the first prize in a tickling tournament.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25- We could win that.- Hey, how hard can it be? Anyone can tickle.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28Well, we could just steal the fish.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30No, no. Look, I'm good at tickling, right?

0:06:30 > 0:06:33Actually, I'm more than good, I am brilliant.

0:06:33 > 0:06:36And everyone else here is a right weedy loser.

0:06:36 > 0:06:39Look at him over there, he's a loser. Them two, loser, loser.

0:06:39 > 0:06:42- You two, loser, loser, lo... - HE GASPS

0:06:42 > 0:06:44Are you talking about us?

0:06:44 > 0:06:49No. We were just admiring your...outfits.

0:06:49 > 0:06:51We are the Two Shadows.

0:06:51 > 0:06:54We are the champions.

0:06:54 > 0:06:57- Champion what? Champion wallies? - Shut up!

0:06:57 > 0:07:01Think you're funny, do you? You two ain't from round here.

0:07:01 > 0:07:04No, we're not. We're here to win the tickling tournament

0:07:04 > 0:07:06and get the magnofish for...

0:07:06 > 0:07:08We're just browsing, actually.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12I've got an idea.

0:07:12 > 0:07:16Two of you, two of us.

0:07:16 > 0:07:17Hey, he can count.

0:07:17 > 0:07:22Shut it! I think it's time for a little warm-up tickle. Ready?

0:07:24 > 0:07:27Right, standard tickle rules apply.

0:07:27 > 0:07:32No ear-pulling, no farting, no gurning.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34First ones to laugh are the losers.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Let's tickle!

0:07:40 > 0:07:43Go! Go! Dick and Dom! Yeah! Now who's going to look stupid?

0:07:43 > 0:07:46THEY MAKE TICKLING NOISES

0:07:56 > 0:07:57Oh, dear.

0:08:01 > 0:08:05THEY TRY TO SUPPRESS LAUGHTER

0:08:10 > 0:08:11Have some of that!

0:08:15 > 0:08:17DICK AND DOM LAUGH HYSTERICALLY

0:08:22 > 0:08:26You cheated! Impressive.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28- That wasn't fair!- That wasn't fair!

0:08:28 > 0:08:32Win the tournament? You pair aren't going to get past the first round.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35We've got two days till the tickling tournament.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38I know, we're in deep trouble, Dom.

0:08:38 > 0:08:40- DEEP VOICE:- You must trust your fingers.

0:08:40 > 0:08:43- What's wrong with your voice? - I didn't say anything.

0:08:43 > 0:08:45- DEEP VOICE:- To walk the road to victory,

0:08:45 > 0:08:49you must first remove the gravel from the shoe of despair.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52Your voice is all weird, like a constipated troll.

0:08:52 > 0:08:54- It wasn't me.- It was me.

0:08:54 > 0:08:57I am Moonfinger.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00Some call me Tickle Guru.

0:09:00 > 0:09:04Some call me Cheesy Ying.

0:09:04 > 0:09:07But you can call me...

0:09:08 > 0:09:11- ..Mr Moonfinger. - HE CLEARS THROAT

0:09:11 > 0:09:15I have trained every champion tickler in Bottom World.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17THEY START GIGGLING

0:09:17 > 0:09:21With my help, you can climb the hill of hope

0:09:21 > 0:09:24and swim in the pond of glory.

0:09:24 > 0:09:27- What do you say? - You're really tickling me.

0:09:27 > 0:09:29Oh, sorry.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31We must make haste, my young princes.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34You only have two short days to learn the tickling skills

0:09:34 > 0:09:37of a lifetime.

0:09:37 > 0:09:39We could still just nick the fish.

0:09:39 > 0:09:42No! We are brave princes.

0:09:42 > 0:09:44We win things through hard work.

0:09:44 > 0:09:48We will toil every single hour that we have to become tickling masters,

0:09:48 > 0:09:52- however tough or painful it is. - Lutin has got a point.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54No, I'm the oldest and what I say goes.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57I say we become tickling masters. Everyone agreed? Good.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00LAUGHTER Get off!

0:10:02 > 0:10:06Intel, Montel...Loreal, Pillow!

0:10:11 > 0:10:13Tofu!

0:10:16 > 0:10:19They said they'd be here soon. They promised.

0:10:29 > 0:10:34My pupils, to become a champion tickler

0:10:34 > 0:10:38demands focus, concentration...

0:10:40 > 0:10:42..and total dedication.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44Oi!

0:10:44 > 0:10:49Before we can tickle, we must first learn to breathe.

0:10:49 > 0:10:50I can breathe already.

0:10:50 > 0:10:54But you must learn control, my young prince.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56Stand with your eyes shut.

0:10:56 > 0:11:00Do not move and just breathe for the count of ten.

0:11:07 > 0:11:10HE GIGGLES UNCONTROLLABLY

0:11:10 > 0:11:15- Him, it was him! - You must remember control.

0:11:16 > 0:11:19No tickling.

0:11:19 > 0:11:21Now, just concentrate.

0:11:21 > 0:11:25- Begin. - GONG SOUNDS

0:11:31 > 0:11:33Must concentrate! Must not get angry!

0:11:33 > 0:11:37HE SHOUTS ANGRILY

0:11:37 > 0:11:40No, no, no. No, you must remain calm.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52THEY GIGGLE

0:12:00 > 0:12:02- CRASHING - Out!

0:12:04 > 0:12:07Never in all my years of teaching have I seen

0:12:07 > 0:12:08such disobedient madness.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12Apart from that dwarf with three legs.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14I should never have started this.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18It was a mistake and I apologise.

0:12:18 > 0:12:22Please, take your friends and leave this place.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39- Disaster.- I know, I left my toothpaste behind.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41No, the quest, it's over.

0:12:41 > 0:12:44Without Mr Moonfinger, we can't get the magnofish.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47Without the magnofish, we can't complete the potion.

0:12:47 > 0:12:50Without the potion, we can't go home.

0:12:50 > 0:12:53And if we can't go home... we can't...

0:12:57 > 0:12:59SHE COUGHS

0:13:05 > 0:13:08- Aw, hello, you little pussy. - HISSING

0:13:08 > 0:13:10Will you concentrate?!

0:13:10 > 0:13:15We can't go back to Mr Moonfinger's, we'd look stupid if we went back.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Wouldn't we?

0:13:25 > 0:13:27- What do you want? - We're back.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31Truth is,

0:13:31 > 0:13:33we really need you, Mr Moonfinger.

0:13:33 > 0:13:37I know we've behaved stupidly, but without you, we'll never get home.

0:13:38 > 0:13:42I know we've broken your feathers and laughed at your stupid outfit

0:13:42 > 0:13:44and trashed your gong...

0:13:44 > 0:13:46- Put jam in your bed. - Stole your horse.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48Squashed your pet monkey.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50This time, we won't let you down.

0:13:50 > 0:13:52We won't. We'll give it our best shot.

0:13:52 > 0:13:54We won't falter!

0:13:54 > 0:13:59We won't even laugh at your age, again, probably.

0:14:00 > 0:14:01We won't give up

0:14:01 > 0:14:05until we are the best ticklers in the whole of Bottom World!

0:14:06 > 0:14:08- 50 gold coins.- 30?

0:14:08 > 0:14:09Done.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19- The 32 of hearts? - HE SHOUTS

0:14:21 > 0:14:25Oh, er... Oh, come on, my princes! Come on, my princes.

0:14:25 > 0:14:28My pupils...

0:14:28 > 0:14:30the key to winning

0:14:30 > 0:14:32is not here

0:14:32 > 0:14:33or here.

0:14:33 > 0:14:36But it is here.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38What, we head-butt them?

0:15:04 > 0:15:06Yee-ha!

0:15:09 > 0:15:10Yeah!

0:15:15 > 0:15:18Yeah! MOONFINGER GIGGLES

0:15:26 > 0:15:29You have done well, my young sons.

0:15:29 > 0:15:32- He's not our dad. - Shut up, just go with that.

0:15:32 > 0:15:36But there is still one thing that you must know.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39In order to be truly worthy of the tickle title,

0:15:39 > 0:15:41you must learn the secret

0:15:41 > 0:15:45that has been passed down through generations.

0:15:45 > 0:15:48The telepathic tickle.

0:15:48 > 0:15:50Tickling without touching.

0:15:52 > 0:15:53Stand like this.

0:15:53 > 0:15:56And picture the tickle.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58Focus on your opponent.

0:16:05 > 0:16:06Oh, come on, guys.

0:16:08 > 0:16:12And now, here is the secret of the telepathic tickle,

0:16:12 > 0:16:14never to be repeated.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17HE MOUTHS

0:16:17 > 0:16:19- Can you repeat that?- Oh.

0:16:22 > 0:16:24Seriously, guys...

0:16:24 > 0:16:25SHE GIGGLES

0:16:28 > 0:16:32SHE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

0:16:35 > 0:16:37Excellent. Finally, you're both ready.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39Now you must go.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41Leave this place

0:16:41 > 0:16:46and give me that revenge which I seek on my old enemy.

0:16:46 > 0:16:50But remember...with great tickling...

0:16:50 > 0:16:51Comes great responsibility?

0:16:51 > 0:16:53No, cheesy fingers.

0:16:53 > 0:16:55THEY SNIFF Eurgh!

0:16:55 > 0:16:58Thanks, Moonfinger, we won't let you down.

0:16:58 > 0:17:01For an old man, you are pretty amazing.

0:17:01 > 0:17:05And as for you, Lutin, I know you've been going

0:17:05 > 0:17:08around taking my belongings.

0:17:08 > 0:17:12And I have one thing to say to you. Thank you.

0:17:12 > 0:17:15I've been meaning to clear that worthless old tut out for ages.

0:17:15 > 0:17:17Now you've saved me the trouble.

0:17:17 > 0:17:20And so, goodbye, Princes Dick and Dom.

0:17:20 > 0:17:24You must go. The tournament is about to begin

0:17:24 > 0:17:27and I am tired.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31So very tired.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40- HE CRIES - Two years I've been with them

0:17:40 > 0:17:44doing their spells and getting them out of trouble.

0:17:44 > 0:17:47And this is the thanks I get.

0:17:58 > 0:17:59Ladies and gentlemen,

0:17:59 > 0:18:03welcome to the first round of the Bottom World tickling championship.

0:18:03 > 0:18:05Please put your hands together,

0:18:05 > 0:18:09welcome to the ring, newcomers Princes Dick and Dom of Fyredor.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:18:13 > 0:18:16And they'll be taking on, all the way from Lower Sprange,

0:18:16 > 0:18:18Weeny Mo and Meany Mo.

0:18:18 > 0:18:22APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:18:22 > 0:18:26- Are they standing a long way away? - No, you idiot, they're really tiny.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28For experts like us, this is going to be a cinch.

0:18:28 > 0:18:30Do not laugh or you will lose.

0:18:31 > 0:18:33Let tickling commence.

0:18:34 > 0:18:37Now, I'm going to attack first. I'm the eldest.

0:18:37 > 0:18:41No, I want to try out my new special move, the Super Dick Tickle.

0:18:59 > 0:19:02You must trust your fingers, Princes.

0:19:03 > 0:19:04BOTH: Moonfinger?

0:19:04 > 0:19:07Get up off your saddle cheeks and tickle.

0:19:08 > 0:19:11- Thanks, Moonfinger. - That's all right.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14We all need a little encouragement now and...

0:19:14 > 0:19:16Hang on a minute, why am I up here?

0:19:16 > 0:19:18I am not dead!

0:19:18 > 0:19:21- Get me down. Get me down! - PFFT!

0:19:21 > 0:19:23Who did that?

0:19:33 > 0:19:34CHEERING

0:19:34 > 0:19:37THEY LAUGH

0:19:42 > 0:19:44CHEERING

0:19:49 > 0:19:51Winners, Princes Dick and Dom.

0:19:54 > 0:19:59Princes Dick and Dom versus the Green Haystack.

0:20:18 > 0:20:21SHE LAUGHS

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Easy, easy, easy, easy!

0:20:29 > 0:20:33Princes Dick and Dom versus the Slimeball.

0:20:56 > 0:20:59Winners, Dick and Dom.

0:21:05 > 0:21:08Ladies and gentlemen, time now for our final round,

0:21:08 > 0:21:13Princes Dick and Dom Versus reigning champions the Two Shadows.

0:21:13 > 0:21:15But before we begin, an announcement.

0:21:15 > 0:21:22The competition judges have decided that tickling is very silly.

0:21:22 > 0:21:27So our final event is to be pillow fighting.

0:21:32 > 0:21:33Goodbye.

0:21:43 > 0:21:45Typical.

0:22:01 > 0:22:04Good morning, lads. Today is your lucky day.

0:22:04 > 0:22:07I am a travelling salesman.

0:22:07 > 0:22:09- He must be.- Looks just like one.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11Got a moustache and everything.

0:22:11 > 0:22:16How would you gents like to buy some rare and valuable artefacts?

0:22:16 > 0:22:18I've got all sorts in here.

0:22:19 > 0:22:23A trophy, a door knocker, a swingy bit from a clock.

0:22:27 > 0:22:30It's just all the old tat from Moonfinger's house.

0:22:30 > 0:22:33He's been meaning to get rid of that for ages.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39SHE COUGHS

0:22:44 > 0:22:46Oh, bum!

0:22:46 > 0:22:49SHE COUGHS AND RETCHES

0:22:53 > 0:22:56How about a nice piece of snake meat instead?

0:22:56 > 0:23:00- Get it off me, get it off me! Vile! - I don't want it, I don't like them!

0:23:10 > 0:23:14THEY GROAN

0:23:14 > 0:23:16- Did we win?- Yep!

0:23:16 > 0:23:18First prize!

0:23:18 > 0:23:21Yeah! I told you I was brilliant.

0:23:26 > 0:23:28- Yeah!- Run!

0:23:42 > 0:23:47Ah. Oh, we... came back as soon as we could.

0:23:47 > 0:23:51I can't believe I doubted you, friends!

0:23:51 > 0:23:53And I won the magnofish.

0:23:53 > 0:23:55Splendid, splendid.

0:23:55 > 0:23:58So, what's the escape plan?

0:24:02 > 0:24:05Let's get the magnofish in the vial first, and then...

0:24:05 > 0:24:08we'll talk about the escape plan in a minute.

0:24:14 > 0:24:18And so the first vital ingredient was added to the potion.

0:24:21 > 0:24:23So, the escape plan.

0:24:25 > 0:24:27Um...well...

0:24:27 > 0:24:31You don't know, do you? You weren't going to come back at all.

0:24:32 > 0:24:36I have been entrapped in this dank hole for days,

0:24:36 > 0:24:40whilst my three friends have just been living it up.

0:24:42 > 0:24:46- HE MUTTERS INCOMPREHENSIBLY - Get them!

0:24:50 > 0:24:54THEY LAUGH

0:24:55 > 0:24:59And thus another quest ended for our fearless adventurers.

0:24:59 > 0:25:01Their journey would continue,

0:25:01 > 0:25:05looking for new lands, new ingredients and new pants.

0:25:05 > 0:25:09But for now, they could savour another glorious victory.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12Good old cheesy fingers.

0:25:16 > 0:25:20- Help!- Help!- Help!- Help us!

0:25:29 > 0:25:32Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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