Valley of the Bigheads

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05'Many, many, many years ago,

0:00:05 > 0:00:08'a terrible plague was brought upon the citizens of Fyredor

0:00:08 > 0:00:11'by the wicked Beastmaster.

0:00:11 > 0:00:16'This dark disease had almost turned the whole kingdom into beasts.

0:00:16 > 0:00:18'Fortunately, an antidote had been made

0:00:18 > 0:00:22'by the King's only two sons, Princes Dick and Dom,

0:00:22 > 0:00:26'their trustee mage, Mannitol, and light-fingered servant, Lutin.

0:00:26 > 0:00:29'Unfortunately, they were still many miles away,

0:00:29 > 0:00:32'and the Beastmaster determined to stop them from getting home.

0:00:32 > 0:00:36'With time running out, our heroes must get back to Fyredor

0:00:36 > 0:00:38'with the antidote before it's too late.

0:00:38 > 0:00:41'The Legend Of Dick And Dom continues.'

0:00:44 > 0:00:48'Our heroes, closely pursued by the Beastmaster,

0:00:48 > 0:00:51'arrived at the foothills of Bottom World,

0:00:51 > 0:00:55'where they faced a multiple-choice road sign.'

0:00:55 > 0:01:00- Ah...this is Hopeless. - Oh, great, thanks a lot, Mannitol.

0:01:00 > 0:01:02There's me trying to keep up the morale.

0:01:02 > 0:01:05No, no, this really is Hopeless.

0:01:05 > 0:01:06Oh.

0:01:06 > 0:01:11Which means one of these two roads leads from Hopeless back to Fyredor.

0:01:11 > 0:01:12- Ha-ha.- Yes.

0:01:12 > 0:01:15- We'll just have to find out from the sign.- A-ha!

0:01:16 > 0:01:20- No, no, no, what are you doing? Don't do that!- Oh...

0:01:20 > 0:01:24Oh, great, now we have no idea which way is which.

0:01:24 > 0:01:30Well, I know one thing - that way is up. Hang on, I've got an idea.

0:01:30 > 0:01:32Oh, no, hold on, that's just an itch.

0:01:32 > 0:01:34Itches are one of my favourite things, you know.

0:01:34 > 0:01:35Yeah, they're amazing.

0:01:35 > 0:01:39Itches are actually invisible dwarfs licking you.

0:01:39 > 0:01:41All right, I'll get the map.

0:01:43 > 0:01:45Must be in here somewhere.

0:01:45 > 0:01:46Fly!

0:01:46 > 0:01:48No.

0:01:48 > 0:01:49Want any...?

0:01:49 > 0:01:53Ah...ah...ah...

0:01:53 > 0:01:55atchoo!

0:01:55 > 0:01:58Oh... Oh, yuck!

0:01:58 > 0:02:01I'm really feeling under the weather.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03Let me have a look at you.

0:02:03 > 0:02:06You are actually under the weather.

0:02:06 > 0:02:09For the next day or, so you will be suffering

0:02:09 > 0:02:12from severe and rapid meteorological ailments.

0:02:12 > 0:02:16SHE COUGHS THEN THUNDERS

0:02:17 > 0:02:19Just as I feared - thunder.

0:02:23 > 0:02:27Heat wave, heat wave.

0:02:27 > 0:02:31Have one of my lovely lavender throat lozenges.

0:02:33 > 0:02:37Now, we shall find you a doctor in the next town to treat you.

0:02:41 > 0:02:43Ah, found it.

0:02:46 > 0:02:49There's only one way back to Fyredor -

0:02:49 > 0:02:52we have to travel through the Hidden Canyon,

0:02:52 > 0:02:55past the Lair of the giant Rat of Gore,

0:02:55 > 0:02:58around the spanky Pillars of Pain

0:02:58 > 0:03:01and across the Desolate Desert of Death!

0:03:01 > 0:03:03No, no, no, Prince Dom, look, look,

0:03:03 > 0:03:06we are very close to the fabled Brainwave Tollgate.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08According to legend, it is a portal

0:03:08 > 0:03:11that will transport us directly to the heart of Fyredor.

0:03:11 > 0:03:16'And so with renewed hope in their hearts, they strode forth toward

0:03:16 > 0:03:20'the Brainwave Tollgate and an easy way home.'

0:03:36 > 0:03:37Look, look.

0:03:40 > 0:03:41- ALL:- Argh!

0:03:41 > 0:03:44Not on the face... or the body or anything.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47Look at their heads!

0:03:47 > 0:03:50- Lookamataysh, lookamataysh, lookamataysh shomadah.- Shackmakatah.

0:03:50 > 0:03:53Shackmakatay!

0:03:53 > 0:03:55Shakamakalooby!

0:03:55 > 0:04:00They must be using some form of advanced communication.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02Shakamatar, shakamatar, shakamdoodoo.

0:04:05 > 0:04:08We are Princes Dick and Dom.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11You have no doubt heard of us.

0:04:11 > 0:04:12Shakamakatay?

0:04:12 > 0:04:14Shakamatar, shakamatar.

0:04:14 > 0:04:17Chakakhan, chakakhan.

0:04:17 > 0:04:19Greetings, travellers. It is evident your intellect

0:04:19 > 0:04:25is far inferior to ours, therefore we will converse with you

0:04:25 > 0:04:28in a more...rudimentary tongue.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30Er...you what?

0:04:30 > 0:04:33It's obvious, Fry, that even that is too tricky.

0:04:33 > 0:04:36Leave it to me.

0:04:36 > 0:04:37You...

0:04:39 > 0:04:40..speakee...

0:04:40 > 0:04:45- the dumbo language? - Oh, yes.- We are the Big Heads.

0:04:45 > 0:04:49- I wonder why they call them that?- Shut up!- Ow!

0:04:49 > 0:04:52I am Fry - IQ 251.

0:04:52 > 0:05:00And I am Bragg - IQ 26...9.

0:05:00 > 0:05:04We control the Brainwave Tollgate -

0:05:04 > 0:05:07you must contribute a levy before you penetrate.

0:05:08 > 0:05:10What he means is

0:05:10 > 0:05:16pay us the toll or you're not going through, sponge brains.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18Ah, how much?

0:05:18 > 0:05:21Money's such a crude concept to us -

0:05:21 > 0:05:22we seek only knowledge.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25Give us any fact we do not know and you may pass.

0:05:25 > 0:05:28- Bargain!- Most noble.

0:05:28 > 0:05:31A-hem. Leave this to me, Princes.

0:05:31 > 0:05:35- I have a fact which I would like to impart.- That.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37I'm sorry?

0:05:37 > 0:05:41You have a fact THAT you would like to impart, not "which".

0:05:41 > 0:05:47You're introducing an essential clause, so "that" not "which".

0:05:47 > 0:05:50Right, heh-heh. Where was I?

0:05:50 > 0:05:55Oh, yes, um...the spell to banish a swamp beast

0:05:55 > 0:06:00- is Argos Candyfloss Brent Cross... - No, no, no, no, no.

0:06:00 > 0:06:02I think you'll find it isn't.

0:06:02 > 0:06:04That sounds like a spell

0:06:04 > 0:06:09- for changing a sword into a hazelnut loaf.- Idiot!

0:06:17 > 0:06:19The highest mountain is...

0:06:19 > 0:06:22The Grumblerock Peak.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25Oh, right, I've got another one.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28The fastest bird is...

0:06:28 > 0:06:31BOTH: The wooshaburra.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33What is wrong with your female companion?

0:06:33 > 0:06:37I think...I'm going to rain.

0:06:37 > 0:06:41THUNDER AND RAIN

0:06:41 > 0:06:43This is hopeless.

0:06:43 > 0:06:48Oh, no, no, no, Hopeless is just down the path.

0:06:48 > 0:06:49Change of plan -

0:06:49 > 0:06:53we're not going to go through the gate, it's far too gatey.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55You know, all this going through things, it's...

0:06:55 > 0:06:57we don't need it.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00- Not important.- Bye.- Bye.

0:07:00 > 0:07:04We're going to have to find another way through that gate, fast.

0:07:04 > 0:07:08Shakamatay, shamatay shakomatay, shakamadoodladoo, shakamadee.

0:07:08 > 0:07:10Sachamaktay, sachamakatar.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25OK, Lutin's in position. Let's go.

0:07:25 > 0:07:27- Are my roots showing? - Oh, shut up!

0:07:30 > 0:07:33Good morning, Big Heads.

0:07:33 > 0:07:38I am Paxman - IQ 250.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40Well, it looks like one of us.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43He's even got a mouse-tache and everything.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46Now, would you gentlemen mind following me?

0:07:46 > 0:07:48I do believe I may have discovered

0:07:48 > 0:07:52an interesting new species of moss, thataway.

0:07:54 > 0:07:57(Look, it's working.)

0:07:59 > 0:08:03Paxman, I've spent years studying every variety of moss

0:08:03 > 0:08:07- in Bottom World.- Thought you looked like a bit of a party animal.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09Wait a minute,

0:08:09 > 0:08:12a witty quip from a Big Head?

0:08:12 > 0:08:14Oh, no, no, no, I was just...

0:08:14 > 0:08:17ah...ah...atchoo!

0:08:17 > 0:08:19CAWS

0:08:21 > 0:08:23It's the female servant!

0:08:30 > 0:08:34Ah...ah...ah...tchooooo!

0:08:34 > 0:08:36- ALL:- Ooh, ooh, ooh!

0:08:38 > 0:08:40Guys, I think they've twigged.

0:08:42 > 0:08:43- ALL:- Argh!

0:08:50 > 0:08:54You thought you could sneak through the Brainwave gate.

0:08:54 > 0:08:59That is a direct contravention of Law 49B,

0:08:59 > 0:09:04subsection 12, paragraph 3, sentence 9.

0:09:04 > 0:09:06These miscreants must be punished!

0:09:06 > 0:09:10Please don't hurt me - my IQ is a million.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14Oh, yeah, mine too.

0:09:14 > 0:09:17If this is true, you are the cleverest people

0:09:17 > 0:09:19in the whole of Bottom World.

0:09:21 > 0:09:23We must clear this matter up.

0:09:23 > 0:09:26You must come to see our leader,

0:09:26 > 0:09:29the Big Head Head.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31Big Head Head!

0:09:31 > 0:09:34- He said Head Head! - Head Head!- Head Head!

0:09:34 > 0:09:37Head Head! He's a Big Head Head...

0:09:41 > 0:09:47I am Hawking - IQ 999,999.

0:09:47 > 0:09:51Dom - IQ 1 million.

0:09:51 > 0:09:54Dick - IQ 1,000,001.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56All right, only joking - IQ 1 million.

0:09:56 > 0:09:58IQ 1 million, eh?

0:09:58 > 0:10:02Hmm, that makes you both exactly one point more intelligent than me.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04Congratulations.

0:10:04 > 0:10:08I have worked my whole life to try and achieve such a score...

0:10:08 > 0:10:10and failed.

0:10:10 > 0:10:14Thanks a lot, but we don't want to spoil your party, so we're happy

0:10:14 > 0:10:17to take our big brains and our two dumb friends

0:10:17 > 0:10:19- and just go straight through the gates.- Yeah.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21BOTH: Ow!

0:10:21 > 0:10:26Such brainpower in such tiny, turtle-sized heads.

0:10:26 > 0:10:28Hmm, how do you do it?

0:10:28 > 0:10:32I mean, to me, you don't look smarter than a ten-year-old.

0:10:34 > 0:10:38There it is again, that stupid sense of humour.

0:10:38 > 0:10:43We shall have a test, a test to see who is cleverer - me or you.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46If you win, you shall pass through our gate towards Fyredor.

0:10:46 > 0:10:51And if you lose, you shall face the ultimate punishment -

0:10:51 > 0:10:54death by boredom.

0:10:56 > 0:10:57Meet Herman.

0:10:58 > 0:11:01Ten minutes in a room with him,

0:11:01 > 0:11:04and you will be literally bored to death.

0:11:04 > 0:11:05EVIL LAUGH

0:11:10 > 0:11:16Test - tomorrow morning, 10am. Don't be late.

0:11:16 > 0:11:19Can I just check - what's the test on?

0:11:19 > 0:11:22Everything.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35Here we are at the doctor's.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38Don't worry - pretty soon you'll be right as rain.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40Oh, I'm sorry, a very bad choice of words.

0:11:40 > 0:11:43Yeah, I'm still suffering, you know.

0:11:43 > 0:11:47- Ooh, I've got a cold front moving in. - Oh...

0:11:47 > 0:11:49Ow!

0:11:50 > 0:11:54WEDDING MARCH PLAYS

0:11:54 > 0:11:58Hello, I've got a problem with my...

0:11:58 > 0:11:59It's not serious.

0:11:59 > 0:12:03Hello, I am Mannitol.

0:12:03 > 0:12:07- I'm Dr Vorderman - IQ 302. - Ah, divine.

0:12:07 > 0:12:09Hello?

0:12:09 > 0:12:12Ill here, I need some help.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14It's just a sniffle!

0:12:15 > 0:12:18Perhaps you would like to take a stroll with me -

0:12:18 > 0:12:20we could watch the sunset.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23- It's 2.30.- Shh!

0:12:23 > 0:12:27No, thanks. I'm busy.

0:12:27 > 0:12:30- Here, take some of this before each cold snap.- Oh...

0:12:30 > 0:12:34- Come on.- Oh, I must see her again.

0:12:34 > 0:12:39I feel like I'm walking on puppies made of sponge.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46Hang on, hang on, where are we going?

0:12:46 > 0:12:51To the library. We need to learn everything in the world by tomorrow,

0:12:51 > 0:12:53otherwise it's curtains for us.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55We could do with some new curtains.

0:12:55 > 0:12:57This is going to take longer than I thought.

0:13:08 > 0:13:11- Hello. - THEY SCREAM

0:13:11 > 0:13:14I wasn't expecting anyone...

0:13:14 > 0:13:18- this year.- Oh...

0:13:18 > 0:13:24- I need to woo Vorderman, so I have painted her this.- Oh.

0:13:24 > 0:13:27Obviously, there wasn't sufficient space for all of her head.

0:13:29 > 0:13:35Now, it may just be the flu remedy talking, but to me, it's bad.

0:13:35 > 0:13:40You're right - I needs something from the heart.

0:13:40 > 0:13:44Magic. I will impress her with one of my spells.

0:13:44 > 0:13:48Oh, no, no, no, no, Mannitol, please. Honestly, the picture's great.

0:13:48 > 0:13:49Ugh...

0:13:49 > 0:13:52No, no, no, wait, wait.

0:13:52 > 0:13:57Brucie, Debussy, Zanussi, Bluetooth!

0:13:58 > 0:14:00- Ah! - SMASH

0:14:02 > 0:14:05I think that was a good start, don't you?

0:14:05 > 0:14:08Now for some sweet music.

0:14:08 > 0:14:10- Ugh.- Come, come.

0:14:11 > 0:14:15You see, if we could borrow some books for one day.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20We're in a bit of a hurry, we've got an important test.

0:14:20 > 0:14:24You will have to join... the library first, of course.

0:14:24 > 0:14:27The membership book is somewhere...

0:14:31 > 0:14:34I'll just...

0:14:38 > 0:14:40- It's dusty up here.- Ah.

0:14:46 > 0:14:50So, membership application book.

0:14:50 > 0:14:54You see, we've only got tonight to learn everything.

0:14:54 > 0:14:57I just need to find a blank page.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59- That's blank.- Nope.

0:15:00 > 0:15:05- No. Oh.- No. No.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09Must be the next... erm.

0:15:09 > 0:15:10No.

0:15:12 > 0:15:14Blank page.

0:15:14 > 0:15:16- Can I just turn...- Ttt...

0:15:21 > 0:15:22No.

0:15:25 > 0:15:27- Gerroff!- Ttt...

0:15:27 > 0:15:29No.

0:15:32 > 0:15:34No.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37Ah, yes...

0:15:39 > 0:15:41- No.- Argh.

0:15:41 > 0:15:46'As the Princes waited patiently to join the library, loan the books,

0:15:46 > 0:15:50'learn everything in the world, win the quiz, and pass through

0:15:50 > 0:15:53'the Tollgate, Mannitol was wooing Vorderman with the joy of song.'

0:15:53 > 0:15:58# Eyes are so beautiful so sparkling and pale

0:15:58 > 0:16:03# Your head is the size of a pregnant blue whale

0:16:03 > 0:16:07# Even though your appearance freaks everyone out

0:16:07 > 0:16:12# I love you, Vorderman beyond a doubt... #

0:16:13 > 0:16:15SHE THROWS UP

0:16:19 > 0:16:22Maybe she's lovesick?

0:16:22 > 0:16:24Boo-hoo-hoo.

0:16:24 > 0:16:26Boo-hoo. Geroff!

0:16:29 > 0:16:30No.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32No.

0:16:35 > 0:16:38- Ah... yes.- Yes?- Here we are.

0:16:38 > 0:16:44So, application to join the library,

0:16:44 > 0:16:46Prince?

0:16:46 > 0:16:52- Prince Dom, Prince Dick. Princes Dick and Dom.- P...

0:16:52 > 0:16:55- R...- Hee hee he he he.- I...

0:16:55 > 0:17:00LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

0:17:00 > 0:17:02Boo-hoo-hoo.

0:17:05 > 0:17:08- Prince.- Is that Dom with a D?

0:17:08 > 0:17:10Yes...with a D.

0:17:10 > 0:17:15Well, this is the last chance to woo the girl of my dreams.

0:17:15 > 0:17:17Or nightmares.

0:17:17 > 0:17:22I have learnt some Big Head, their highly complex language.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24- Let's hope I get it right.- Oh, yes.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27A-hem.

0:17:29 > 0:17:30Shamakatar...

0:17:33 > 0:17:34..shamakatay...

0:17:36 > 0:17:39..shamak...harrrrr...

0:17:42 > 0:17:44..shamakatoo.

0:17:55 > 0:17:59I think this is the book I want.

0:18:04 > 0:18:06Oh, dear.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12It's a maximum of five books per member.

0:18:12 > 0:18:19The average peanut is 72% dust and 28% earwax.

0:18:19 > 0:18:22Come on, let's have some fun. Let's build a scroll assault course?

0:18:22 > 0:18:28No! Now sit down and learn...stuff.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34- Oh. Evening.- Urgh.

0:18:34 > 0:18:37Hey, we could build a scroll assault course.

0:18:37 > 0:18:39That's what I said.

0:18:39 > 0:18:41This is all about the...

0:18:45 > 0:18:48- Thanks.- Aargh!

0:18:48 > 0:18:51Right, that's it, I've had enough.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54The Beastmaster is just hours behind us.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57The only way back to Fyredor to save our beloved families

0:18:57 > 0:18:59is by going through that gate.

0:18:59 > 0:19:01The only way through the gate is to beat the Big Heads

0:19:01 > 0:19:03by learning all this stuff.

0:19:03 > 0:19:08So please, please...

0:19:08 > 0:19:10SHUT UP!

0:19:10 > 0:19:13Oooooh!

0:19:18 > 0:19:21I'm sorry, Dom.

0:19:21 > 0:19:23Really?

0:19:23 > 0:19:27Course not. No, I am sorry.

0:19:27 > 0:19:29- Really?- Course not.

0:19:29 > 0:19:31Right!

0:19:31 > 0:19:36All right, all right, all right, I give in. Let's learn stuff.

0:19:36 > 0:19:37Good.

0:19:44 > 0:19:47Well, I believe our heads are now full of knowledge.

0:19:47 > 0:19:49I agree, Prince Richard. Shall we go?

0:19:49 > 0:19:51Shall we?

0:20:00 > 0:20:05Welcome to the Head of the Big Heads Big Head Test,

0:20:05 > 0:20:08and here is your host...FRY!

0:20:15 > 0:20:18Nice to see you, to see you... through my optic nerve.

0:20:18 > 0:20:23- Contestants, are you prepared and fully content?- Yeah, yeah.

0:20:23 > 0:20:26Well, let's start with a nice easy one first, shall we?

0:20:29 > 0:20:34What is 27 x 278?

0:20:35 > 0:20:41- Hawking.- 7,506.- Correct!

0:20:42 > 0:20:46And that sound means it's a spot prize.

0:20:46 > 0:20:53- Ooooh.- And you've won this delightful flagon of fistules.

0:20:53 > 0:20:57- Oh!- And now for a more difficult one.

0:21:01 > 0:21:03Which constellation of stars

0:21:03 > 0:21:08is found two degrees south of Cassandra's Ring?

0:21:09 > 0:21:13- Dick and Dom.- The Wheelbarrow. - Correct!

0:21:13 > 0:21:17- Yes!- 1-1. Next round.

0:21:24 > 0:21:28And with the scores neck and neck, this is it, the decider.

0:21:28 > 0:21:33The final question is this,

0:21:33 > 0:21:38what percentage of a peanut is dust?

0:21:38 > 0:21:39- Oh...ha!- Yes!

0:21:39 > 0:21:45I know this, I know this, I don't believe this, brother, we're saved.

0:21:45 > 0:21:52We've won! The percentage of a peanut that is dust is...

0:21:52 > 0:21:54is...

0:21:54 > 0:21:56What's happening?

0:21:56 > 0:21:58It's...

0:22:03 > 0:22:06it's...aargh.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09- Urgggh. - I suppose I could offer it.

0:22:09 > 0:22:1272%.

0:22:12 > 0:22:18Correct! Yippee yi yay!

0:22:18 > 0:22:20Whoohoo. Ha ha ha ha.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22Congratulations to Hawking,

0:22:22 > 0:22:26who receives this delightful replica spoon.

0:22:26 > 0:22:29Ooooh.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32And for the losers, Dick and Dom,

0:22:32 > 0:22:34instant death.

0:22:34 > 0:22:38What? What's that?

0:22:38 > 0:22:41I don't know.

0:22:41 > 0:22:45I've forgotten everything. I don't even know who I am, Dom.

0:22:45 > 0:22:47- Dom? Who's that?- I don't know.

0:22:47 > 0:22:50- Who are you?- I don't know. Who am I?

0:22:51 > 0:22:54At least I can still remember what we do in this situation.

0:22:54 > 0:22:55Run!

0:22:57 > 0:23:00Get them! Get them!

0:23:00 > 0:23:02Urgh!

0:23:09 > 0:23:12No. Get them, get them.

0:23:12 > 0:23:15Argh!

0:23:23 > 0:23:26- Who are you?- Are you our mummy?

0:23:26 > 0:23:29Oh, heck. OK, let's get you filled back up.

0:23:29 > 0:23:33Right, you're Dick, you're Dom. You're both princes from Fyredor.

0:23:33 > 0:23:35You like chess, you like cheese.

0:23:35 > 0:23:38That's Bottom World, that's the sky, that's a dog having a poo.

0:23:38 > 0:23:40Ugh.

0:23:42 > 0:23:46I'll fill you in on the rest later. Come on, let's get out of here.

0:23:49 > 0:23:51Shakamatee shakamatar!

0:24:06 > 0:24:08Quick, quick.

0:24:09 > 0:24:14That way, that way. That's them!

0:24:14 > 0:24:17Aargh.

0:24:18 > 0:24:20Help!

0:24:21 > 0:24:22I do have a very good...

0:24:25 > 0:24:27- Come on,- No, no wait!

0:24:27 > 0:24:29- I was going to propose.- Come on.

0:24:29 > 0:24:30Come on.

0:24:33 > 0:24:35We're going to make it.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37Waaaaaaaaaaa!

0:24:37 > 0:24:41So, once again you have failed.

0:24:41 > 0:24:46You thought you could become smart in just one night.

0:24:46 > 0:24:47Idiots!

0:24:47 > 0:24:50But then,

0:24:50 > 0:24:51what would you know?

0:24:51 > 0:24:53I know all about itches.

0:24:53 > 0:24:55Hmm?

0:24:55 > 0:25:00- Itches are actually invisible dwarves licking you.- I didn't know that.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02Amazing, eh? And you know pins and needles?

0:25:02 > 0:25:06Well, they are actually little lemmings dancing on your legs.

0:25:06 > 0:25:08- Oh, I didn't know that. - And you know if you've seen exactly

0:25:08 > 0:25:11the same cow as you've seen before, that's called deja moo.

0:25:11 > 0:25:14I didn't know that...ah...aargh..

0:25:17 > 0:25:20Oooooooooaaah.

0:25:20 > 0:25:24HE SCREAMS

0:25:34 > 0:25:40Na, na, na, na, na, Mummy.

0:25:42 > 0:25:45Well, who would have thought it?

0:25:45 > 0:25:48After all that, you really did give us extra knowledge.

0:25:48 > 0:25:51Even though it is useless.

0:25:51 > 0:25:53You are free to pass.

0:25:53 > 0:25:56And today you get this complimentary fish juice.

0:25:58 > 0:26:02Take this to the library and say to the old man, thanks.

0:26:02 > 0:26:05- Is there a late fine to pay on these?- Shut up, Dom.

0:26:05 > 0:26:10- Come on, Mannitol, time to go. - I know, my friends, but I can't.

0:26:10 > 0:26:13My place is here now with Vorderman.

0:26:13 > 0:26:16We are going to live happily ever after.

0:26:16 > 0:26:18You see, I have fallen under the spell of love.

0:26:18 > 0:26:22And Mannitol, where does that leave us?

0:26:22 > 0:26:24I will miss you.

0:26:24 > 0:26:28Why don't you come with us, both of you? It'll be a laugh.

0:26:28 > 0:26:31And I'll teach you some new stuff like a gust of wind is actually

0:26:31 > 0:26:33a burp from a cloud giant.

0:26:33 > 0:26:35Shadows don't like mushrooms,

0:26:35 > 0:26:40and if you dream about falling asleep then you'll snore twice as loudly.

0:26:40 > 0:26:42Really?

0:26:42 > 0:26:44I didn't know that.

0:26:44 > 0:26:46I didn't know any of that.

0:26:52 > 0:26:53Whoa!

0:26:53 > 0:26:55Ohhh!

0:26:58 > 0:27:02On second thoughts, I can't leave the quest.

0:27:02 > 0:27:03We were just getting somewhere.

0:27:03 > 0:27:05A-ha!

0:27:07 > 0:27:09Mannitol!

0:27:09 > 0:27:11Leave it.

0:27:11 > 0:27:14It's over, Vorderman.

0:27:14 > 0:27:17Boo-hoo-hoo.

0:27:17 > 0:27:20Put a sock in it.

0:27:20 > 0:27:23'And so our brave travellers could, at last,

0:27:23 > 0:27:26'transport themselves hundreds of miles to the very heart of...'

0:27:26 > 0:27:30Fyredor, here we come!

0:27:35 > 0:27:39Yay! Hurray.

0:27:42 > 0:27:47- Shakamakadok. - THEY LAUGH

0:27:47 > 0:27:50THEY BREAK WIND

0:27:50 > 0:27:55- But I...- Mannitol!

0:28:07 > 0:28:11Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:11 > 0:28:14E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk