Haunted

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05Many, many years ago, a terrible plague

0:00:05 > 0:00:09was turning the people of Fyredor into horrible beasts,

0:00:09 > 0:00:10and a few nice cuddly ones.

0:00:10 > 0:00:15Their only hope of a cure rested with Princes Dick and Dom,

0:00:15 > 0:00:20their light-fingered servant Lutin and their trusty mage, Mannitol.

0:00:20 > 0:00:25Unfortunately, they were utterly useless.

0:00:25 > 0:00:27They dropped the first antidote,

0:00:27 > 0:00:29mucked up the replacement antidote...

0:00:29 > 0:00:33COUGHING Get out!

0:00:33 > 0:00:36..and must collect the ingredients to re-remake the antidote

0:00:36 > 0:00:40before all of Fyredor is doomed forever.

0:00:40 > 0:00:45The Legend Of Dick And Dom continues.

0:00:45 > 0:00:49Our heroes had to find just one more ingredient

0:00:49 > 0:00:50to complete the antidote -

0:00:50 > 0:00:52a ghost.

0:00:52 > 0:00:55Ah. So...here we are.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Hello?

0:01:01 > 0:01:03Guys?

0:01:04 > 0:01:07- Ah!- Sorry, sorry. We got caught up.

0:01:07 > 0:01:10What's the matter with you? You look like you've seen a ghost.

0:01:10 > 0:01:12What? No, I do not!

0:01:12 > 0:01:16- Ahh! Oh!- Ghosts? Well, I certainly hope so.

0:01:16 > 0:01:20This is the most haunted place in all of Bottom World.

0:01:20 > 0:01:23Perhaps you should sit this bit of the quest out.

0:01:23 > 0:01:25It's the last item. We can do it.

0:01:25 > 0:01:28Best leave it to people that are not scared of ghosts, eh?

0:01:28 > 0:01:31Why don't you tidy the camp or...ooh, make some lavender soap?

0:01:32 > 0:01:34Lavender?

0:01:34 > 0:01:35Tidy?

0:01:37 > 0:01:39I mean, I've never... I mean...

0:01:39 > 0:01:41- Of... Of all... - HEARTBEAT THUMPS

0:01:41 > 0:01:43Sit it out? Sit it out! I mean, you...!

0:01:43 > 0:01:45HE RANTS

0:01:48 > 0:01:49HE EXHALES DEEPLY

0:01:49 > 0:01:51I'm not...

0:01:51 > 0:01:54repeat NOT scared of ghosts.

0:01:56 > 0:01:58OK?

0:02:05 > 0:02:06Roll up, roll up.

0:02:06 > 0:02:09Ghost tours, haunted houses, discount paperweights?

0:02:09 > 0:02:11Good morning, gentlemen.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14I assume you're here in Argh to see our famous spirits.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17- No, just passing... - Yes, we'd like to find a ghost.

0:02:17 > 0:02:21- One of the biggest, most horrible ones you've got. Right?- S'pose so.

0:02:21 > 0:02:25In that case, you've found the right person. I am Winston Fiddle.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27My card.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29"Mr Wint's Value Dry-Cleaning"?

0:02:29 > 0:02:32Yes, a little sideline of mine. Er, here we are.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36"Fiddle's Novelty Parrots"?

0:02:36 > 0:02:39Another, less successful venture. Ah, there we are.

0:02:39 > 0:02:41I'll...

0:02:41 > 0:02:45Oh! "Winston Fiddle, professional ghost-hunter".

0:02:45 > 0:02:48Paranormal expert

0:02:48 > 0:02:50and medium.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52Hm! I'd say more like an extra-large.

0:02:52 > 0:02:56"Ghost advisor to the rich and famous"!

0:02:56 > 0:02:58Although I prefer to concentrate on the rich half!

0:02:58 > 0:03:00ALL LAUGH

0:03:00 > 0:03:03Only joking. My company holds the exclusive rights

0:03:03 > 0:03:08for ghost tours to the legendary Argh Manor...

0:03:08 > 0:03:12the most haunted house in all of Bottom World.

0:03:12 > 0:03:16Now, there's our introductory Bronze Tour.

0:03:16 > 0:03:18That's two kankels.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20You get your basic shiver down the spine

0:03:20 > 0:03:21and three spooky moments.

0:03:21 > 0:03:25At least one member or your party will have to change their trousers.

0:03:25 > 0:03:29Princes, I'm not convinced of the authenticity of this.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32Princes! I do apologise, your majesticals.

0:03:32 > 0:03:37I had no idea I was in the company of members of such a noble, regal

0:03:37 > 0:03:39and...loaded family.

0:03:39 > 0:03:43- Ha-ha! - BOTH: What a nice man!

0:03:43 > 0:03:45For your princely-nessy-nesses,

0:03:45 > 0:03:48I suggest for you the Platinum Tour, fit for a king.

0:03:48 > 0:03:49Sounds perfect.

0:03:49 > 0:03:53- You don't have a Platinum Tour. - Lutin!

0:03:53 > 0:03:55Don't argue with the lovely man.

0:03:56 > 0:03:59The Platinum Tour is our gold standard.

0:03:59 > 0:04:01Isn't your Gold the gold standard?

0:04:02 > 0:04:04I do promise on the Platinum Tour,

0:04:04 > 0:04:07you get two real sightings of a genuine ghost.

0:04:07 > 0:04:12Plus, if you book before 9am, a free novelty parrot.

0:04:12 > 0:04:13SQUAWK!

0:04:16 > 0:04:20All that for the mere price of five...two plus three...plus...

0:04:20 > 0:04:215,000 kankels.

0:04:21 > 0:04:22When do we start?

0:04:24 > 0:04:28Oh! Oh, I can't wait to see these ghosts!

0:04:28 > 0:04:29You're not scared, are you, Dom?

0:04:29 > 0:04:31- HIGH-PITCHED:- Huh? No...

0:04:31 > 0:04:33- NORMAL VOICE:- No, course I'm not scared.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35"Scariest place in Bottom World"?

0:04:35 > 0:04:38It's the most BORING place in Bottom World!

0:04:38 > 0:04:39An abandoned graveyard.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41SNAP!

0:04:41 > 0:04:43THEY GASP

0:04:43 > 0:04:45- What was that?- Probably nothing.

0:04:45 > 0:04:46SNAP!

0:04:46 > 0:04:47DICK WHIMPERS

0:04:47 > 0:04:49It's behind us.

0:04:51 > 0:04:53- BOTH:- Lutin!

0:04:53 > 0:04:56What? I'm just having my dinner. Mm, gingerbread!

0:04:56 > 0:04:58Gingerbread? Again?

0:04:58 > 0:05:01What do you mean? I hardly ever have gingerbread.

0:05:01 > 0:05:02Gingerbread sandwich?

0:05:02 > 0:05:04Mm...

0:05:04 > 0:05:06- Lutin...- Mm? - I think we need to have a chat.

0:05:06 > 0:05:11You can't go five minutes without eating a gingerbread man.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13Or poached gingerbread.

0:05:13 > 0:05:14Or gingerbread-in-the-hole.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17You are...addicted.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19SHE SCOFFS Rubbish!

0:05:19 > 0:05:22I don't NEED gingerbread. I can give it up any time I want.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24- Ah...- Oh, gingerbread-in-the-hole!

0:05:24 > 0:05:25Well, then, prove it.

0:05:25 > 0:05:29I want you to put all of your gingerbread into this sack.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32And I bet you can't go one night without eating gingerbread.

0:05:32 > 0:05:33Hm! In there.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35- Bup-bup-bup!- Fine!

0:05:35 > 0:05:36Deal!

0:05:36 > 0:05:39Hm? Huh? Yeah?

0:05:39 > 0:05:41I had no idea the problem ran so deep.

0:05:41 > 0:05:43- Yes, and the rest. - GINGERBREAD CLATTERS

0:05:43 > 0:05:48- And the rest! - GINGERBREAD RUMBLES

0:05:48 > 0:05:50Thank you!

0:05:50 > 0:05:53I am going to help you through this, Lutin.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Gingerbread withdrawal symptoms can be very severe.

0:05:56 > 0:05:59Whatever! Bring it on! I don't need gingerbread!

0:06:01 > 0:06:02Stage one - denial.

0:06:02 > 0:06:05Well, let's make sure she doesn't get her hands on any of these.

0:06:06 > 0:06:08- SMASH! - Eh?

0:06:08 > 0:06:09Ah! Oops!

0:06:09 > 0:06:12Ah, there you are. Everything all right?

0:06:12 > 0:06:13- Yes, yes, fine.- Cracking.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15Let's get you started on your tour.

0:06:15 > 0:06:20Come with me as we journey into the unknown realm of the spiritual world.

0:06:20 > 0:06:21HE PLAYS DISCORDANT NOTES

0:06:21 > 0:06:26This is Argh Manor, home of the ultimate ghost tour experience,

0:06:26 > 0:06:29and, er, subject to a one kankel baggage-handling fee.

0:06:29 > 0:06:32But you're not handling our baggage.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34Exactly. The fee's for me not to.

0:06:36 > 0:06:38I think I've got deja vu.

0:06:38 > 0:06:39What, again?

0:06:39 > 0:06:42No, no, no. No, this...

0:06:42 > 0:06:44It feels as though I've been to this house before.

0:06:44 > 0:06:47I seem to remember all of this.

0:06:47 > 0:06:49DICK CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:06:49 > 0:06:53Do you remember me hitting you over the head with this novelty parrot?

0:06:53 > 0:06:54No.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56- THUNK! Ah!- Well, you're fine.

0:06:56 > 0:07:01Ghost-hunters, prepare yourselves for the ultimate spooky experience...

0:07:02 > 0:07:05..by visiting our gift shop, on the right.

0:07:05 > 0:07:07- Ooh!- Oh!

0:07:23 > 0:07:26DOOR CREAKS OMINOUSLY

0:07:29 > 0:07:31CREAKING STOPS

0:07:31 > 0:07:32DOOR CREAKS

0:07:33 > 0:07:35CREAKING STOPS

0:07:35 > 0:07:36DOOR CREAKS

0:07:36 > 0:07:37CREAKING STOPS

0:07:37 > 0:07:39DOOR CREAKS

0:07:39 > 0:07:42CREAKING STOPS WINSTON: Gather round.

0:07:42 > 0:07:46It is time to hear the forbidden legend of Argh Manor -

0:07:46 > 0:07:49a story of treachery, a story of treason

0:07:49 > 0:07:51and a story that...

0:07:51 > 0:07:53costs an extra kankel.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57LUTIN SIGHS Once upon a time,

0:07:57 > 0:08:00there lived in this very manor a cleaning lady by the name of Beryl.

0:08:00 > 0:08:03Beryl was the finest cleaner in all of Argh.

0:08:03 > 0:08:07In fact, legend has it she used to buff up the king's crown jewels.

0:08:07 > 0:08:10Then one night, a terrible storm struck

0:08:10 > 0:08:12and a bolt of lightning hit the tower

0:08:12 > 0:08:14and turned the lady into a...

0:08:15 > 0:08:17Oh.

0:08:17 > 0:08:18..a ghost.

0:08:18 > 0:08:20Years later, she can still be seen...

0:08:23 > 0:08:24..late at night...

0:08:26 > 0:08:28..when the moon is...

0:08:28 > 0:08:29bright...

0:08:29 > 0:08:31and...

0:08:31 > 0:08:33shi...ning.

0:08:33 > 0:08:35Much obliged to your highnesses.

0:08:35 > 0:08:37What a rip-off!

0:08:37 > 0:08:39Wasn't even the slightest bit scary.

0:08:39 > 0:08:43DOM WHIMPERS

0:08:43 > 0:08:44Oh, good grief!

0:08:44 > 0:08:47Shh! Listen.

0:08:47 > 0:08:49RATTLING

0:08:52 > 0:08:54WIND HOWLS

0:08:54 > 0:08:57WINSTON: The spirits are here.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59Look! There she is!

0:08:59 > 0:09:01It's Beryl, doomed to dust for all eternity.

0:09:01 > 0:09:05SPOOKILY: Whoo-oo-oo-oo!

0:09:05 > 0:09:08This is it - the final ingredient!

0:09:08 > 0:09:09Prince Dom, prepare the vial.

0:09:09 > 0:09:12Please, if you could try and remain still.

0:09:12 > 0:09:13Whoo-oo!

0:09:13 > 0:09:15You ready, Dom? Dom?

0:09:15 > 0:09:17- MUFFLED:- I'm a bit busy with something.

0:09:17 > 0:09:20We need the vial if we're to catch the ghost.

0:09:20 > 0:09:23- I'll be out in a minute. - I'll catch her in my net.

0:09:23 > 0:09:25No! No touching the ghost.

0:09:25 > 0:09:27- It makes the spirit very angry. - She's right there!

0:09:27 > 0:09:30Beryl doesn't like to be disturbed.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32- Upsets her Yin and Yang. - She's gone!

0:09:32 > 0:09:36LUTIN: I'm going to pop upstairs and take a look for the ginger...

0:09:36 > 0:09:39I mean loo! The loo.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Lutin, no.

0:09:41 > 0:09:44I know what you're doing and I won't permit it.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46Looking for gingerbread!

0:09:46 > 0:09:49I'm not! I promise!

0:09:49 > 0:09:50Don't do it!

0:09:50 > 0:09:53I must ask you not to enter unauthorised rooms.

0:09:53 > 0:09:55I must ask you to stay here.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57Oh, dear. She's going to go mad.

0:09:57 > 0:10:01Er, I must communicate with the spirits alone,

0:10:01 > 0:10:04refocus their energies. HE PLAYS DISCORDANT NOTES

0:10:04 > 0:10:05You stay here.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14Need my gingerbread.

0:10:16 > 0:10:19Must...find...my gingerbread.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21Oh!

0:10:21 > 0:10:23- I want gingerbread! - Ah, there you are.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27- HE GASPS - Lutin, you must fight this.

0:10:27 > 0:10:28You must fight this.

0:10:28 > 0:10:34- SPEECH SLOWS: - Let's go back downstairs.

0:10:34 > 0:10:38Mm! Gingerbread!

0:10:38 > 0:10:41Er...

0:10:41 > 0:10:45There were some most interesting pictures along the staircase.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Some of them look vaguely familiar,

0:10:47 > 0:10:50almost as, er...

0:10:50 > 0:10:52Lutin, what are you doing?

0:10:52 > 0:10:54Oh, heavens!

0:10:54 > 0:10:56Stage two - hallucinations. No, Lutin!

0:10:56 > 0:10:58No! No!

0:10:59 > 0:11:02Oh! Oh, crumbs.

0:11:02 > 0:11:05Mmm! Crumbs!

0:11:05 > 0:11:07HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

0:11:13 > 0:11:15Ah, there you are, sweet sister.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18Another fantastic performance in there.

0:11:18 > 0:11:19Magnificent dusting!

0:11:19 > 0:11:24And I must say, your new false teeth look exceedingly scary.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27I'm not wearing any false teeth.

0:11:27 > 0:11:28Oh, yes. Erm...

0:11:28 > 0:11:32Well, I just popped in to say there's nothing to worry about.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35The customers are happy, the coffers are bulging

0:11:35 > 0:11:37and everything is under control.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39Under control? Under control!

0:11:39 > 0:11:41I saw - they were running amok.

0:11:41 > 0:11:43- Running a-what?- Shut up!

0:11:43 > 0:11:47Is it not obvious to you they're not ghost-hunters at all?

0:11:47 > 0:11:51- There's only one explanation. - Surprise party?

0:11:51 > 0:11:52- No!- Ow!

0:11:52 > 0:11:55They must be inspectors from the sheriff's office.

0:11:55 > 0:11:56Oh, dear.

0:11:56 > 0:11:59I've been worried for some time the law are onto our scam.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01This could be the end of business.

0:12:01 > 0:12:03I'll stop the tour immediately.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06I shall offer them a full refund. SHE GASPS

0:12:06 > 0:12:08THUD, GLASS SMASHES

0:12:08 > 0:12:10Sis? Oh, sis.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12Sorry. Yes, sorry.

0:12:12 > 0:12:16Never, ever say the "R" word in my presence ever again.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18- Yes?- This is what we'll do.- Right.

0:12:18 > 0:12:21We'll give them the haunted cleaning cupboard story

0:12:21 > 0:12:25and when I really appear, it's time for them to DROP OUT forever.

0:12:25 > 0:12:30THEY LAUGH MENACINGLY

0:12:30 > 0:12:31I'm sorry, you've lost me.

0:12:31 > 0:12:33You pull the lever

0:12:33 > 0:12:36for them to fall through the trap door into the dungeon.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39Oh, very clever, sis! The le...! Oh, very good!

0:12:39 > 0:12:41- Oh, sis.- Yeah?- Just one small thing.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43Your false nose...

0:12:43 > 0:12:45NOSE CRACKS It's on crooked.

0:12:45 > 0:12:48I'm not wearing a false nose.

0:12:48 > 0:12:50Oh, dear!

0:12:50 > 0:12:54Dom! You can stop hiding now. The ghost's gone.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56- DOM TAPS WOOD - Yep, fine, fine, fine.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58Absolutely no woodworm in here.

0:12:59 > 0:13:03Oh, hello! Hiding? I wasn't hiding.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06So, er, where's the ghost?

0:13:06 > 0:13:10Oh, don't say I've missed it! What terrible luck!

0:13:10 > 0:13:12I could have got it if you'd given me the vial.

0:13:12 > 0:13:15No, I could have got it if YOU had given ME the vial.

0:13:15 > 0:13:18- You already had the vial. - YOU already had the vial.

0:13:18 > 0:13:22- Stop repeating everything I say. - Stop repeating everything- I- say.

0:13:22 > 0:13:23- That's it!- That's it!

0:13:23 > 0:13:26- Yah-ah-ah-ah-ah! - Yah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

0:13:27 > 0:13:29DOM SNEEZES

0:13:30 > 0:13:33Oh! Oh...

0:13:36 > 0:13:37Rargh!

0:13:37 > 0:13:39Aaaah!

0:13:45 > 0:13:47Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

0:13:47 > 0:13:48No!

0:13:53 > 0:13:55Phew!

0:13:55 > 0:13:58You know, for a minute I thought that it was going to...

0:13:58 > 0:14:00- Aah! - SMASH!

0:14:00 > 0:14:02WINSTON: Hello?

0:14:02 > 0:14:03Ah!

0:14:03 > 0:14:06Quick! Don't let him see. Don't let him see!

0:14:06 > 0:14:08Everything all right, inspectors?

0:14:08 > 0:14:11I mean, inspecting the ghosts, are we?

0:14:12 > 0:14:14Smashing.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17Very well. In that case, gentlemen, follow me

0:14:17 > 0:14:19for a truly terrifying spectacle.

0:14:19 > 0:14:22HE PLAYS DISCORDANT NOTES

0:14:22 > 0:14:25The floating ironing board of Argh Manor.

0:14:41 > 0:14:44- LUTIN SOBS - It's OK.

0:14:44 > 0:14:45It's OK.

0:14:45 > 0:14:48Your life will continue without gingerbread.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50Stage three - depression.

0:14:50 > 0:14:54Oh, those little gingery men.

0:14:54 > 0:14:57They're all I had in life.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59That's just the gingerbread talking.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01Get off me!

0:15:01 > 0:15:04SHE SOBS

0:15:05 > 0:15:07You know, it's odd.

0:15:07 > 0:15:11This place still feels very familiar.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13HE GASPS

0:15:15 > 0:15:17My heavens. Is that...?

0:15:17 > 0:15:19No, it can't be.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22My family crest!

0:15:22 > 0:15:24Oh!

0:15:26 > 0:15:31And this old scrapbook... bears my family motto.

0:15:31 > 0:15:34"Caesar Aldi Lemsip Dim Sum".

0:15:34 > 0:15:38"If at first you don't succeed, don't bother trying again".

0:15:38 > 0:15:41Sounds like YOUR family.

0:15:44 > 0:15:46My family tree!

0:15:46 > 0:15:49- Amazing! - Has it got gingerbread on it?

0:15:49 > 0:15:54Lutin, you have no idea how important this is.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56Ever since I was a young boy

0:15:56 > 0:15:59and I was sent off to join the flea circus,

0:15:59 > 0:16:01I have never known any family.

0:16:01 > 0:16:05This place must belong to my ancestors.

0:16:05 > 0:16:06Ha!

0:16:06 > 0:16:08Listen to this.

0:16:08 > 0:16:11This is the knot from the ship of my ancestor Stannitol,

0:16:11 > 0:16:13the worst sailor in Bottom World.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16He caused the Great Flood of 720.

0:16:16 > 0:16:19The GREAT Flood - not just any flood.

0:16:19 > 0:16:24Ooh, this is a fish from my ancestor Crannitol.

0:16:24 > 0:16:27Apparently the only other thing he caught was chickenpox.

0:16:27 > 0:16:30Yes, he was the worst fisherman in Bottom World.

0:16:30 > 0:16:34MANNITOL CHUCKLES Spotting a theme here.

0:16:34 > 0:16:37You know, I feel a real connection with these people

0:16:37 > 0:16:41and I think they all lived here in this place.

0:16:41 > 0:16:43Ha! These ghosts of the past.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04..And so poor Beryl drowned in that tub of polish.

0:17:04 > 0:17:06Mind you, she had a lovely finish!

0:17:06 > 0:17:10But her spirit remained here, in the haunted cleaning cupboard...

0:17:10 > 0:17:15and it is said on a dark night, if you listen very carefully,

0:17:15 > 0:17:18you can still hear her ghost.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24No, can't hear anything.

0:17:24 > 0:17:26No, what a shame(!) Let's go.

0:17:26 > 0:17:30Er, you may care to stand here, a little closer to the trap...

0:17:30 > 0:17:31er, cupboard.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33Yes, ha-ha-ha!

0:17:33 > 0:17:35"GHOST": Oooh!

0:17:35 > 0:17:38I give you the spirits. Thank you and good night.

0:17:40 > 0:17:44SPOOKILY: Whoo-oo-oo! Whoo-oo...

0:17:44 > 0:17:45THEY SCREAM

0:17:45 > 0:17:48Wicked! Are you the ghost of Beryl?

0:17:48 > 0:17:50You-ou-ou must go now.

0:17:50 > 0:17:54- What's it like being a ghost? - We don't like humans, clear off!

0:17:54 > 0:17:56We've got one! Hold up the vial.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58- Dom? Dom? - DOOR CLOSES

0:18:00 > 0:18:02I'm just looking at something inside this clock.

0:18:02 > 0:18:04Not again!

0:18:04 > 0:18:07Leave now or face the deadly duster.

0:18:07 > 0:18:09Uh. Oh.

0:18:09 > 0:18:13Dana, my dear, are you there?

0:18:13 > 0:18:14Dana? Dana?

0:18:14 > 0:18:16Oh...

0:18:16 > 0:18:21There you are. My dear, looking radiant as ever!

0:18:21 > 0:18:22EERIE WHISPERING

0:18:22 > 0:18:25I know you're angry but that really wasn't my fault.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27You should have told me there were two trap doors.

0:18:29 > 0:18:31All right, it WAS my fault.

0:18:31 > 0:18:35Now, Dana, don't get into one of your huffs.

0:18:35 > 0:18:37I can sort it all out.

0:18:37 > 0:18:38Dana, love, please.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40Dana! Talk to me!

0:18:45 > 0:18:47Would you like a cup of tea?

0:18:47 > 0:18:51D'you know, that disguise gets better and better.

0:18:51 > 0:18:53You look just like a ghost.

0:18:53 > 0:18:54Yeah.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57You are a...

0:18:57 > 0:19:00HE GASPS ..gh...g-g-g-ghost!

0:19:00 > 0:19:02HE SCREAMS

0:19:10 > 0:19:12Oh! Look at this.

0:19:12 > 0:19:17This is a picture of my great-great-great-aunt Pammitol.

0:19:17 > 0:19:20She was the last person to live in the manor.

0:19:20 > 0:19:22She was a witch.

0:19:22 > 0:19:23Briefly.

0:19:23 > 0:19:27Apparently she disappeared only a day after joining the coven.

0:19:27 > 0:19:29No-one knows what happened to her.

0:19:29 > 0:19:31What a shame.

0:19:31 > 0:19:34Oh, these must be her belongings.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36Teabags.

0:19:36 > 0:19:37A biscuit barrel.

0:19:37 > 0:19:39Hm. Mm.

0:19:39 > 0:19:42SPOOKY VOICE: Gingerbread!

0:19:42 > 0:19:44Yes, calm down. It's probably empty.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46Must have it.

0:19:46 > 0:19:48Must get it.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50Must eat it.

0:19:50 > 0:19:53Oh! No!

0:19:57 > 0:20:00Oh, the stories are true.

0:20:00 > 0:20:03Stage four - feeding frenzy.

0:20:03 > 0:20:05Aaaah!

0:20:05 > 0:20:07Aaah-aaah.

0:20:10 > 0:20:15Oooh, leave now or I will have to summon the scouring pad of despair.

0:20:15 > 0:20:18- Better idea - rip off your head and juggle with it.- Oooh!

0:20:18 > 0:20:20Dom, bring over the vial.

0:20:20 > 0:20:23- I can't.- Why not?

0:20:23 > 0:20:25All right, I'll admit it.

0:20:25 > 0:20:27I'm scared of ghosts.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29I knew it!

0:20:29 > 0:20:32- Everyone, there's a ghost! - Well, duh! Yeah!

0:20:32 > 0:20:34Not her. This was a real g-g-g-ghost.

0:20:34 > 0:20:35Eh?

0:20:35 > 0:20:37Oh, for goodness sake!

0:20:37 > 0:20:39Please, inspectors, it was horrible.

0:20:39 > 0:20:41We're not inspectors.

0:20:41 > 0:20:44Are you not? Oh, this just gets chuffing better(!)

0:20:44 > 0:20:46Wait, wait, wait.

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Can I just establish...

0:20:48 > 0:20:51This isn't a real ghost.

0:20:51 > 0:20:52Ten out of ten!

0:20:52 > 0:20:55We don't do refunds. You got what you came for - a good fright.

0:20:55 > 0:20:58For the record, I wasn't even slightly scared.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01Will no-one listen to me? There's a real ghost!

0:21:01 > 0:21:04Shut up, Winston! You've been doing this job too long.

0:21:04 > 0:21:05CRASHING

0:21:05 > 0:21:06What were that?

0:21:06 > 0:21:10It's her. She's come for us. Look!

0:21:14 > 0:21:17LUTIN WAILS

0:21:17 > 0:21:22Give me my gingerbread!

0:21:25 > 0:21:27SHE GOBBLES GREEDILY

0:21:29 > 0:21:32Oh. I couldn't stop her. The withdrawal has been too strong.

0:21:32 > 0:21:37You clot, Winston! That is not a ghost.

0:21:37 > 0:21:41WINSTON: No, you don't understand. That was different.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44- She was...blue, transparent. - I bet she was(!)

0:21:44 > 0:21:47Another one of your tall stories, Winston.

0:21:47 > 0:21:50Well, you won't get another kankel out of us.

0:21:52 > 0:21:56An old lady, stirring a cup, with a long, flowing dress,

0:21:56 > 0:22:01grey hair, a dimpled chin and she's asking me...

0:22:01 > 0:22:03Would you like a cup of tea?

0:22:03 > 0:22:05Yeah, that's it. Would you like...?

0:22:05 > 0:22:07Would you... Oooh!

0:22:08 > 0:22:10Dom, get the vial.

0:22:10 > 0:22:12I can't move!

0:22:12 > 0:22:14Quick, get it now!

0:22:15 > 0:22:17Mannitol?

0:22:21 > 0:22:22Auntie?

0:22:22 > 0:22:24Would you like a cup of tea?

0:22:24 > 0:22:27Not really.

0:22:27 > 0:22:29THEY LAUGH

0:22:29 > 0:22:33And so all this time, you've been trapped inside that vase.

0:22:33 > 0:22:36Yes. Thank goodness your clumsy friends came along.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39- Our pleasure. - We're not THAT clumsy.

0:22:41 > 0:22:44Would you like another cup of, er...?

0:22:44 > 0:22:46No, I'm fine, thanks.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48So, how did you die, Auntie?

0:22:48 > 0:22:52I didn't. I was trying to cast a spell to mend my curtains

0:22:52 > 0:22:55and I burped and I turned myself into a ghost.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57I was never very good at magic.

0:22:57 > 0:23:01- Yep, you can see they're family. - You've perked up.

0:23:01 > 0:23:03I think the gingerbread's worn off a bit now.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06Well, to make sure you're not tempted again,

0:23:06 > 0:23:09we've put it all... well out of reach.

0:23:09 > 0:23:12Auntie Pammitol found your stash.

0:23:12 > 0:23:15Fine!

0:23:15 > 0:23:17- Ahem!- Oh.

0:23:17 > 0:23:18Er, Mannitol...

0:23:18 > 0:23:21I think it's time.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23Time for what, dear?

0:23:23 > 0:23:27We have a favour to ask you, Auntie.

0:23:27 > 0:23:28A rather big favour.

0:23:28 > 0:23:32You see, we are on a quest.

0:23:32 > 0:23:34Don't look back, sis.

0:23:34 > 0:23:36Or up. Or down.

0:23:36 > 0:23:38- Or anywhere.- Winston, will you wait?

0:23:38 > 0:23:41- Winston! Stop!- What you doing?

0:23:41 > 0:23:43- We have to go back.- Back?

0:23:43 > 0:23:45Are you mad? There's a real ghost in there.

0:23:45 > 0:23:47Exactly. Think about it.

0:23:47 > 0:23:48A ghost in Argh Manor.

0:23:48 > 0:23:51A real ghost! What does a real ghost mean, Winston?

0:23:51 > 0:23:53- We'll be shaking in our boots? - No, don't be stupid!

0:23:53 > 0:23:56A real ghost means real ghost tour business.

0:23:56 > 0:23:58- Of course.- Ha-ha!

0:23:58 > 0:24:00No more Beryl the cleaner,

0:24:00 > 0:24:03no more haunted squeegee mop of doom.

0:24:03 > 0:24:06Can I still play my organ? HE PLAYS DISCORDANT NOTES

0:24:06 > 0:24:09If you must. Think of the possibilities, Winston.

0:24:09 > 0:24:12We'll be able to charge thousands of kankels per tour.

0:24:12 > 0:24:14We'll be rich!

0:24:14 > 0:24:15Why didn't I think of that?

0:24:15 > 0:24:19Because you're more thick than a clotted cement milkshake.

0:24:19 > 0:24:23Those crafty princes aren't, though, are they? Come on!

0:24:23 > 0:24:26I'm with you all the way, sis. Wait for me.

0:24:26 > 0:24:29Wait for me, sis. Oh!

0:24:29 > 0:24:31MANNITOL SIGHS

0:24:31 > 0:24:33- Are you sure you want to do this, Auntie?- Of course.

0:24:33 > 0:24:35It's the least I can do.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37After all, life's pretty boring as a ghost.

0:24:37 > 0:24:41I'd much rather help those poor people in your kingdom.

0:24:41 > 0:24:45I wish it could have been different. We've only just met.

0:24:45 > 0:24:48So many tales to tell, stories to swap.

0:24:48 > 0:24:51- I doubt it. She's a bit boring.- Shh!

0:24:51 > 0:24:55Come on. Can't keep everyone waiting.

0:24:55 > 0:24:56I can't.

0:24:56 > 0:25:00Oh, now, Mannitol, don't get emotional.

0:25:00 > 0:25:03No, he really can't. He's rubbish.

0:25:06 > 0:25:12Vodafone, Home Alone, Cotes Du Rhone, Emmerdale.

0:25:13 > 0:25:15Goodbye, Mannitol.

0:25:15 > 0:25:18Don't forget to wash behind your ea-a-a-a-rs.

0:25:18 > 0:25:23Goodbye...Auntie.

0:25:23 > 0:25:26LUTIN: Get in! The last ingredient!

0:25:26 > 0:25:27- DANA:- The party's over.

0:25:27 > 0:25:30- Where is she? - Hey, that's our ghost.

0:25:30 > 0:25:32That ghost belongs to us. Give it back.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35Not on your Nelly! Come here, you!

0:25:35 > 0:25:37Dick!

0:25:46 > 0:25:48Dick! Dick!

0:25:48 > 0:25:51WINSTON LAUGHS

0:25:51 > 0:25:53HE GROANS

0:25:53 > 0:25:56RATTLING

0:25:56 > 0:25:57Yes!

0:25:57 > 0:25:59Finders keepers! Ha-ha!

0:26:01 > 0:26:05WINSTON AND DANA MOAN

0:26:13 > 0:26:14Oh!

0:26:16 > 0:26:19D'you think they're OK?

0:26:20 > 0:26:24- SPOOKILY:- Whoo-oo-oo-ooh!

0:26:26 > 0:26:30- Dana, what happened? - What's going on?

0:26:30 > 0:26:31Oh, no!

0:26:31 > 0:26:33This is your fault.

0:26:33 > 0:26:35Look on the bright side, sis.

0:26:35 > 0:26:38- We'll be able to spend much more time together.- Oh!

0:26:39 > 0:26:42And so with the last ingredient on their list

0:26:42 > 0:26:47finally added to the vial, the antidote was complete.

0:26:47 > 0:26:52Our heroes could now proudly return to their plague-ravaged homeland.

0:26:52 > 0:26:54There - that's all of us immune.

0:26:54 > 0:26:55I'll just keep it safe.

0:26:56 > 0:27:00Right, onwards to Fyredor.

0:27:00 > 0:27:02ALL: To Fyredor!

0:27:02 > 0:27:03- Are we nearly there yet?- No!

0:27:03 > 0:27:05- How long is it going to take? - Well, um...

0:27:08 > 0:27:10A little longer than you may think.

0:27:10 > 0:27:15In fact, I don't think you'll ever be returning to Fyredor.

0:27:15 > 0:27:17HE CACKLES

0:27:17 > 0:27:20MOUSE SQUEAKS, HE CHOKES

0:27:20 > 0:27:23HE CACKLES

0:27:38 > 0:27:41Subtitles be Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:41 > 0:27:45E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk