0:00:07 > 0:00:10Hail, fellow Revengers. This...
0:00:10 > 0:00:13HEAVY METAL MUSIC
0:00:15 > 0:00:18..is all granny's fault for saying...
0:00:18 > 0:00:22Those M Factor judges aren't going to be able to resist you.
0:00:22 > 0:00:26You know, when it comes to music, you're quite the little star!
0:00:26 > 0:00:30- I'm better than Mel and Will, aren't I, Granny?- You most certainly are.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33When it comes to music, Mel and Will are useless.
0:00:33 > 0:00:37As useless as a pair of chocolate teapots!
0:00:37 > 0:00:42If only the chocolate teapots hadn't been listening at the door.
0:00:42 > 0:00:46# Oh, get her, get him Getting even ain't a sin
0:00:46 > 0:00:49# Sister Mel and Brother Will Make 'em take a bitter pill
0:00:49 > 0:00:51# Serve it up lukewarm
0:00:51 > 0:00:55# Yeah, it's the storm before the storm
0:00:55 > 0:00:58# Oh, look out, world Your sandwich is curled
0:00:58 > 0:01:01# Your tea's gone cold and now you're getting old
0:01:01 > 0:01:05# Y'know, the boy with the camera He's gonna scam ya
0:01:05 > 0:01:08# Harder than Stonehenge It's gonna be a mighty revenge. #
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Why can't big brothers and big sisters
0:01:14 > 0:01:20let little brothers be better than them at anything?
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Why do they have to prove that they can play music too?
0:01:24 > 0:01:26I've got a complaint.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28What's that you say?
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Another 60 miles? Easy!
0:01:31 > 0:01:32I've got a complaint.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36I'm opening a fete in the morning as THE local celebrity
0:01:36 > 0:01:38and need my sleep. It's too late for your whining.
0:01:38 > 0:01:39I can't sleep.
0:01:39 > 0:01:45Mel and Will have formed a band and are trying better me at music.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49We've invented a whole new music scene called Thrash Punk Noise!
0:01:49 > 0:01:52The thing is, the worst noise is the best,
0:01:52 > 0:01:54so it takes two minutes to become a master.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57LOUD HEAVY METAL MUSIC
0:01:57 > 0:02:00So, we're already like... 100 times better than you.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03We're thinking of entering The M Factor next week,
0:02:03 > 0:02:06because we know we'd win!
0:02:06 > 0:02:08You've got to stop them saying that.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11The M Factor's always been my talent contest.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14You can't let them enter too, not this year,
0:02:14 > 0:02:17not now Mrs Mutley thinks I'm good.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21Who's my little Mozart? LOUD KISS
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Ugh! She thinks I'm good enough to win this year
0:02:24 > 0:02:27and if Pamela Whitby wins too,
0:02:27 > 0:02:32we get to go to Burger Bin together. So, you've got to tell them to stop.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36- It's not true.- He's jealous because we're better at playing music!
0:02:36 > 0:02:40I'm the special one who can play an instrument!
0:02:40 > 0:02:42- Were, Alice, were. - GUITAR RIFF
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Right. Right.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50From now on bickering costs cash.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54I'm officially starting a family Whine Box. Goodnight!
0:03:01 > 0:03:04HEAVY METAL MUSIC
0:03:04 > 0:03:09SOS! Calling all Revengers!
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Hello! Anybody awake? Aaron?
0:03:15 > 0:03:18- What's up?- Ah, there you are, Aaron.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20- I knew you'd still be awake. - What is it?
0:03:20 > 0:03:24- MEOW - You've woke the stupid cat!
0:03:24 > 0:03:25SHUT UP!
0:03:25 > 0:03:26I can't sleep.
0:03:26 > 0:03:31I need a revenge to stop Mel and Will practicing their music.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33You can have my stupid cat.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37- Her screeching will stop anyone singing.- Brilliant!
0:03:37 > 0:03:38Is it?
0:03:38 > 0:03:43Yeah. Where am I going to find 20 screeching cats at this time?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45I don't know. Try fishing.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55LOUD HEAVY METAL MUSIC
0:04:06 > 0:04:10MEOWING
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Ah, revenge, sweet revenge.
0:04:27 > 0:04:33- Do we have your permission to trap his fingers in the piano lid?- No.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37Why not? You saw what he did to our music last night.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40He trampled on our dreams to become rock legends.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Well, he told me that you two only took up music
0:04:43 > 0:04:46to prove that you can be better at it than he is.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48You believed that? You're as bad as Alice.
0:04:48 > 0:04:54- I should sue the pair of you for character besmirchment!- Me too!
0:04:54 > 0:04:58£1 a whine, the money's to sponsor your father in the Great North Run.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01- That's so not fair!- That is so £1.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Thank you
0:05:10 > 0:05:12LOUD HEAVY METAL MUSIC
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Why are we wearing these?
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Because Mel and Will follow me everywhere I go
0:05:22 > 0:05:24to practice their fresh punk noise.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29They only do it to torture me so I can hear them getting better.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33- They're threatening to enter the M Factor.- What's that then?
0:05:33 > 0:05:37- Mutley Factor.- Mrs Mutley's talent contest.- Why can't they enter?
0:05:37 > 0:05:42Mrs Mutley pays for the winners to go for a meal at the Burger Bin.
0:05:42 > 0:05:47And if Alistair wins and Pamela wins too, they get to go together.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Pamela Whitby always wins
0:05:49 > 0:05:52the tortured souls poetry section.
0:05:53 > 0:06:00Love is a beast with manly hands that carries you off to its lair
0:06:00 > 0:06:05but never lets you go again and drags you round by your hair.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07So, they're are two winners?
0:06:07 > 0:06:12No, three. One in the music section, that's between me and misery.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14And one in the freaky children
0:06:14 > 0:06:17who can do disgusting things with their bodies section.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18That's going to be Sanjay.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21He's not doing that thing with his shoulder, is he?
0:06:21 > 0:06:24- Yes.- That's horrible.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27- Do you want to see it?- ALL: No!
0:06:27 > 0:06:29SHOULDER CRUNCHES
0:06:29 > 0:06:30ALL: Argh!
0:06:33 > 0:06:37I know you're in here, Mozart.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41Time for your MUSIC LESSON!
0:06:41 > 0:06:46I see. So, you don't want me opening your fete after all,
0:06:46 > 0:06:49in spite of me spending £100 on a new outfit
0:06:49 > 0:06:53with Queen-style gloves for multiple handshakings.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57No, no, that's fine and let's just forget about the photographer
0:06:57 > 0:06:59I've paid for to be there, shall we?
0:06:59 > 0:07:03He can point his camera at your new celebrity instead.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Celia, can I have a quick word?
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Yes, come.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Can you believe that?
0:07:17 > 0:07:19I've just been replaced by Bubba.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Granddaughter of the pig who played Babe!
0:07:23 > 0:07:28Argh! I hate her kisses!
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Now that your warty girlfriend's gone, we've got you to ourselves.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36- Come into the living room.- Are you still angry about the fish?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Are you serious?
0:07:38 > 0:07:40- Yes.- And I can wear this outfit?
0:07:40 > 0:07:43- Of course.- And you won't replace me with a pig?
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Oh, it never crossed my mind.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49Oh, Mrs Mutley, thank you.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- Mwah.- Mwah. I shall go to the ball after all!
0:07:52 > 0:07:56Oh, it's not a ball. Just a talent show.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59See you Wednesday at five in the school hall.
0:08:01 > 0:08:06Out the way, Celia. Once this lot gets moving it pretty hard to stop.
0:08:06 > 0:08:11- Delighted to meet you. So glad you could come.- Em, I live here.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15Mrs Mutley has asked me to the judge at The M Factor, me.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19She needed a celebrity and she thought of me first. First!
0:08:19 > 0:08:23Well... congratulations.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26Don't be so childish. And why are you wearing all this rubbish?
0:08:26 > 0:08:30This is everything I need to survive the Great North Run.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33Apart from a new pair of legs obviously.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Well, if you're going to go for a stupid run, then go!
0:08:36 > 0:08:38I've got cooking to do.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42I'm going to bake an original Celia Fury cake for Mrs Mutley
0:08:42 > 0:08:44by way of a special thank you.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48I'm torn between the fruit and veg cake and the compost cake.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50What's in the compost cake?
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Compost.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56There's your choice.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58You don't approve of all of this do you?
0:08:58 > 0:09:01When people usually do charity fun-runs
0:09:01 > 0:09:03they do it for the charity or for the fun,
0:09:03 > 0:09:07not because work gives them five days off for training.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Oh, you heard, huh?
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Well, first training run.
0:09:13 > 0:09:18Keep an eye on the clock for me, I forgot to get a stopwatch.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22- We're trying to help you. Is that hard to believe?- Yes!- It's true.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24It's one thing being a great musician,
0:09:24 > 0:09:27it's quite another seeing your own flesh and blood
0:09:27 > 0:09:30dive headlong into emotional disaster.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32I don't understand a word you said.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Playing the piano and winning The M Factor
0:09:35 > 0:09:39- is not going to make Pamela like you, Alice.- This is you helping me?
0:09:39 > 0:09:44Real men don't play the piano, real men play Thrash Punk Noise.
0:09:44 > 0:09:48If Pamela had the choice of going out with a real man and a girl,
0:09:48 > 0:09:51she'll choose the real man every time.
0:09:51 > 0:09:52Who's a girl?
0:09:52 > 0:09:54You are.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56I'm not a girl!
0:09:56 > 0:10:01Then why were you wearing a dress at your christening, Alice?
0:10:01 > 0:10:03No!
0:10:06 > 0:10:07I'm not a girl!
0:10:08 > 0:10:12- I'm not a girl.- Maybe there was a mix-up at the hospital.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Maybe the baby that your mum gave birth to was a boy
0:10:14 > 0:10:16but the baby they took home was a girl,
0:10:16 > 0:10:19and they forgot to take you back.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22I've got a whatsit.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26It's not very difficult to carve one out of a carrot.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29That explains why Mum and Dad would never buy me a rabbit.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32I bet you cried at The Ugly Duckling the first time you read it?
0:10:32 > 0:10:36You're enjoying this, aren't you?
0:10:39 > 0:10:42How long...was that? An hour?
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Six minutes.
0:10:45 > 0:10:51That's because it was all up hill part of the way.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55We need to get some more of this.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58I'm not really feeling the benefit.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01So, was that run fun?
0:11:02 > 0:11:07Not really, no. Oh, cramp!
0:11:10 > 0:11:16AH! It feels like a herd of bison is pulling my leg off.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18It's just cramp.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20This pain isn't cramp.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23This is like childbirth of the leg!
0:11:23 > 0:11:27I must have dislocated a hip or something. Ah! Ooh!
0:11:30 > 0:11:32- About 40 quid should do it.- Oh.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34This is a disaster.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37If Pamela won't go out with me because I play piano,
0:11:37 > 0:11:38what am I going to do?
0:11:38 > 0:11:43- You'll have to give up piano.- And take up Thrash Punk Noise?- No.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46Good. I'm not going to give them the satisfaction.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49There's other ways to make her think you're a man.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52- Like what?- I'll get some hints off the internet.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56- Then you can take her to Burger Bin.- It sounds a bit dodgy to me.
0:11:56 > 0:12:01Look, there's no point in arguing about it. Time's against us.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04First, you've got to get rid of Mrs Mutley.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07And here's the honey and ricey Crispy Pops to do it.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Mrs Mutley? Warts.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35I caught them off you when you gave me that kiss.
0:12:35 > 0:12:40I'm not calling you a creepy reptile, just I can't learn piano
0:12:40 > 0:12:43off you any more, in case I catch an even worse disease
0:12:43 > 0:12:47like Crocodile Skin. I'm pulling out of The M Factor.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Oh, Alistair...
0:12:49 > 0:12:53my little Mozart!
0:12:53 > 0:12:55I think you've just broken my heart!
0:12:55 > 0:12:59SHE SOBS
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Well, that was easy. These warts taste delicious.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05- What next?- Next, we have to turn you into a real man
0:13:05 > 0:13:08- so Pamela finds you irresistible. - How will we do that?
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Well, according to this website -
0:13:10 > 0:13:12How To Turn Yourself Into A Real Man -
0:13:12 > 0:13:16the first thing you need are bigger hands and bigger feet.
0:13:16 > 0:13:21Fellow Revengers, I have switched to Man Mode to pursue Pamela Whitby.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Hence the muscles.
0:13:23 > 0:13:28I shall also be trying to win her over with a few whopping great lies.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31According to Ralph's website, girls like liars.
0:13:31 > 0:13:37In fact the badder the boy, the more girls give him their phone numbers.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Target spotted! Pamela!
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Pamela?
0:13:43 > 0:13:46I'm not playing in The M Factor any more. I've given up piano!
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Look! I'm a real man now! I've got muscles.
0:13:49 > 0:13:50I can do press ups.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53HE STRAINS
0:13:53 > 0:13:57- Nearly.- What are you doing in those flippers, Alistair?
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Just going for a walk.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02- You're lying, aren't you?- No.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04So why've you given up the piano?
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Because of mum's accident with the blender,
0:14:07 > 0:14:09in which she lost an arm and a leg.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11She can't drive me to lessons any more.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Is that true?
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Yes!
0:14:18 > 0:14:20No. I can't keep this up.
0:14:20 > 0:14:26- It's because girls don't like boys who play the piano.- That isn't true.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29I like boys who play the piano. Especially Chopin.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33- Really?- I don't like boys who lie. - No.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37I can play Chopin! In fact that's what I'm playing in The M Factor.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39You just said you weren't playing.
0:14:39 > 0:14:44Oops! I must have gone deaf like Beethoven.
0:14:44 > 0:14:49Pamela, if we win The M Factor can we go to Burger Bin together?
0:14:49 > 0:14:51And don't lie back.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53I might.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Well, I'm not stopping now, William.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01Well, all I'm saying is Mrs Mutley might not want
0:15:01 > 0:15:04that cake after what Alice has done to her.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08Actually, we shouldn't tell Mum, it might get Alice into trouble.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Well, you've gone this far you can't stop now.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Oh, all right.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16Alice has given up piano and won't be appearing in The M Factor.
0:15:16 > 0:15:21- What!- With no Fury family interest in the contest she won't want you.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24And it's all Alice's fault.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Why can't BIG brothers and BIG sisters
0:15:27 > 0:15:31let LITTLE brothers be better than them at ANYTHING?!
0:15:31 > 0:15:34What about my photo in the local paper?
0:15:34 > 0:15:36I can't miss out on that twice!
0:15:36 > 0:15:39I know. He's selfish isn't he?
0:15:39 > 0:15:43- You'll have to do it. - What?- Well, you two can play music,
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Mrs Mutley won't cancel if some of the family play.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48We're not playing on a stage with a bunch of babies!
0:15:48 > 0:15:51We only said we might to wind up Alice.
0:15:51 > 0:15:55Well, I'll give you £50. I'll let you win, I'm the judge.
0:15:55 > 0:16:00- 50? With what you're saving on piano lessons?!- All right, 100 then.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Well, I wouldn't want to win unless you thought we were talented
0:16:03 > 0:16:05and good enough to beat Alistair.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09And we'd want you to say that, obviously. In front of everyone.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11I see...
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Hmm? Well, as judge,
0:16:14 > 0:16:18and assuming not another word is said on the matter,
0:16:18 > 0:16:22can you win?
0:16:22 > 0:16:25- Yes! Consider it done.- BOTH: Yes!
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Traitors!
0:16:32 > 0:16:36This calls for a mighty, manly revenge!
0:16:36 > 0:16:38It's time to sabotage
0:16:38 > 0:16:42mum's celebrity appearance and make sure
0:16:42 > 0:16:47I'm publicly crowned better at music than Mel and Will!
0:16:52 > 0:16:53Are you all right, Dad?
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Ahh, not too great, Alistair,
0:16:55 > 0:16:58I've had to give up my dreams of being a runner,
0:16:58 > 0:17:02owing to the sudden temporary stiffness of my leg.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05Thought I'd use the sponsorship money to buy us a takeaway. Yes?
0:17:05 > 0:17:09You will not! That money was collected for charitable causes.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11And I'm not talking to you.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Why not?
0:17:13 > 0:17:16When Mel and Will said I wasn't playing in the talent contest,
0:17:16 > 0:17:18they made a mistake.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22What they meant to say was I'm not playing in the...school hall,
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Mrs Mutley's changed the venue.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27This is a map with directions.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Oh. So you are playing in the contest now?
0:17:30 > 0:17:32- Yeah!- Excellent.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34I can get my £100 back off Mel.
0:17:34 > 0:17:39No way. I've just invested in these and a deal is a deal.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43Oh, now those will look lovely in a wedding dress.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46Anyway I'm looking forward to beating you, Alice.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49What £100, Mummy?
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Did I say £100? I meant...
0:17:52 > 0:17:56Oh, what a sweet little map! Is it all taking place in the countryside?
0:17:56 > 0:17:57Get in there!
0:17:57 > 0:18:00You'd better leave in plenty of time, because we don't want
0:18:00 > 0:18:03you getting lost and not being there to pick the winners!
0:18:05 > 0:18:08I know what to spend the charity money in the whine box on.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11- It's not me, is it?- No.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14It's a limousine so I can arrive in style for the photographers!
0:18:18 > 0:18:21PIANO PLAYS
0:18:21 > 0:18:23SHOULDER CRUNCHES
0:18:23 > 0:18:26- Euw!- Eurgh! I wish you'd stop doing that!- It's not fair.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30Everyone else gets to practice for the talent contest.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33But not everyone does something so revolting.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35Can we see Mrs Mutley now?
0:18:35 > 0:18:39- No. She's still giving Misri his lesson.- Why is he still playing?
0:18:39 > 0:18:43I thought Alistair gave you £8 of chocolate to sit on his fingers?
0:18:43 > 0:18:45He did, but then Dad said I couldn't.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49And when Dad says, "No," you don't.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54You agreed to what?!
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Want me to dress up as Little Mozart!?
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Well, she's singing Queen of the Night
0:18:59 > 0:19:01from The Magic Flute and he wrote it.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05That doesn't make it any better. What does Mozart wear?
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Wig, tights, bit of a tunic.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Oh, great(!)
0:19:10 > 0:19:14And you've got to let her kiss you whenever she wants!
0:19:14 > 0:19:17- What?!- If you want back in, that's the deal.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19'You do what you have to do, don't you?
0:19:19 > 0:19:25'If I wanted to win I either taught myself Chopin to concert standard,
0:19:25 > 0:19:26'or did a bit of cheating.'
0:19:26 > 0:19:29There we go. How easy was that?
0:19:29 > 0:19:33One Chopin piece recorded, one contract signed.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36"I, Misri Chatterji, in return for the Revengers
0:19:36 > 0:19:39"buying a chocolate fountain for my useless brother,
0:19:39 > 0:19:43"do hereby promise not to be as good as Alistair tomorrow. Signed Misri."
0:19:43 > 0:19:45KNOCKING
0:19:45 > 0:19:50- Alistair it's Pamela. Can I come in? - Quick, behind the curtains!
0:19:57 > 0:20:00- Hello, Pamela. I didn't see you there.- So it WAS you playing.
0:20:00 > 0:20:04I thought you were lying when you said you could play Chopin.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06I wouldn't lie to you.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08No. See you tomorrow.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11She thinks you're telling the truth!
0:20:11 > 0:20:15So, who cares if the Chopin was played by Misri,
0:20:15 > 0:20:18so long as my stupid brother and sister are forced to admit
0:20:18 > 0:20:21that I'm better at music than they are!
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Oh, Misri!
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Where's he gone?
0:20:29 > 0:20:30Oh, dear.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33SIREN BLARES
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Alistair Fury!
0:20:39 > 0:20:41You break my son's arm.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43I'm coming to get you!
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Aggh!
0:20:49 > 0:20:51- Bodyguard?- Bodyguard?
0:20:51 > 0:20:55Yeah, wear sunglasses to look hard and bring a rounders bat.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58When are we going to get time to play rounders?
0:20:58 > 0:21:01- For protection!- Oh!
0:21:01 > 0:21:02APPLAUSE
0:21:02 > 0:21:05SHOULDER CRUNCHING AUDIENCE GASPS
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- Am I late?- You've not missed much.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11Sanjay's just finished doing that thing with his shoulder.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13GIRL RETCHES
0:21:13 > 0:21:17And Pamela's just started her tortured poetry.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20- This poem is called... Black. - That's not a rounders bat.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24It was either this or a ping-pong ball. Where is Alistair?
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Behind the curtain. Revenging.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31Despair, despair, despair!
0:21:44 > 0:21:48APPLAUSE
0:21:58 > 0:21:59Right, come along then.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01We're late already!
0:22:01 > 0:22:04According to Alistair's map, it should be over that hill.
0:22:04 > 0:22:08That map's had us going round in circles for the last hour!
0:22:08 > 0:22:10And you don't seriously expect me
0:22:10 > 0:22:12to climb THAT gate in THIS outfit, do you?!
0:22:12 > 0:22:16If you want to make it to the talent contest, yes. I'd offer to carry you
0:22:16 > 0:22:19but in case you hadn't noticed I'm in a wheelbarrow.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Well, call the limo back then.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24I can't, we only had enough money for a one-way journey.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Knew I should have whined more.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Well, come along then.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31The public is waiting!
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Erm, look if I carry the cake, you wouldn't give us a push would you?
0:22:43 > 0:22:47And now we have two new entrants to The M Factor,
0:22:47 > 0:22:51doing something special, which is why it's hidden behind a curtain.
0:22:51 > 0:22:55With a new kind of music called, Thrash Punk Noise,
0:22:55 > 0:22:58it's Mel and William Fury!
0:22:58 > 0:23:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:10 > 0:23:14AUDIENCE HOWLS WITH LAUGHTER
0:23:21 > 0:23:25SQUEALING DISCORDANT GUITAR
0:23:27 > 0:23:28GUITAR "WHINNIES"
0:23:28 > 0:23:30INSTRUMENTS PLAY ANIMAL NOISES
0:23:30 > 0:23:33DRUMS GROWL AND QUACK
0:23:38 > 0:23:40MOOING
0:23:40 > 0:23:42GIGGLING
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Wait a minute. No, no, no, we should be over here...
0:23:58 > 0:24:02MRS MUTLEY TRILLS
0:24:02 > 0:24:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Mwah.
0:24:08 > 0:24:12It looks like our celebrity judge couldn't be bothered to turn up,
0:24:12 > 0:24:16so I shall be awarding the music prize today.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18We won't beat Alice unless Mum judges.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21- Mrs Mutley loves him too much. - She's still not answering.
0:24:28 > 0:24:29No signal!
0:24:29 > 0:24:33And now, saving the best till last, here's our final contestant,
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Alistair Fury!
0:24:35 > 0:24:40APPLAUSE
0:24:41 > 0:24:46RECORDING OF MISRI PLAYS
0:24:54 > 0:24:56Thank you.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59Nice man, huh, giving us a lift like that.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Taking pity on me because I'm in a wheelbarrow.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Bye-bye, Bubba.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Are you not going to give us a push?!
0:25:13 > 0:25:17APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Oh...
0:25:23 > 0:25:26he's my little Chopin now!
0:25:26 > 0:25:28- RECORDING: - 'One Chopin piece recorded.'
0:25:28 > 0:25:31Well, I have no hesitation in saying that the winner
0:25:31 > 0:25:34of this year's music prize,
0:25:34 > 0:25:35joining Pamela Whitby...
0:25:36 > 0:25:39and Sanjay Chatterji...
0:25:39 > 0:25:43Oof, oof, that's my boy! That's my boy!
0:25:43 > 0:25:45as M Factor champions,
0:25:45 > 0:25:48is...Alistair Fury!
0:25:48 > 0:25:51- We've been stitched up!- Yes!
0:25:51 > 0:25:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:53 > 0:25:56- RECORDING:- 'She thinks you're telling the truth!- So.
0:25:56 > 0:26:00'Who cares if the Chopin was played by Misri so long as my stupid
0:26:00 > 0:26:02'brother and sister are forced to admit
0:26:02 > 0:26:04'I'm better at music than they are!'
0:26:04 > 0:26:10Treachery! My Misri was robbed of his crown by a cheat and a liar!
0:26:10 > 0:26:13- Do you want to take him on? - No thanks.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16- MUM:- Alistair!
0:26:18 > 0:26:22Pamela. No. It was an accident! I didn't mean to lie.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24It's time to face the music! Get the door.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Come here.
0:26:26 > 0:26:30Wait till I get my hands on you, you little liar.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Argh!
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Ooof! Ow!
0:26:35 > 0:26:37- MUM:- My cake!
0:26:37 > 0:26:39My CAKE! Oh...!
0:26:40 > 0:26:46Well, you win some, you lose some, Revengers, and I've lost Pamela.
0:26:46 > 0:26:51But, on the upside, Mel and Will never want to play music again,
0:26:51 > 0:26:54mum's had enough of the local photographers...
0:26:54 > 0:26:58and Dad's happy, because when he fell out of the wheelbarrow,
0:26:58 > 0:27:01he broke his leg and he's got six weeks off work.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03There's only one problem...
0:27:06 > 0:27:09how am I going to get past him on Monday morning?
0:27:25 > 0:27:28Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
0:27:42 > 0:27:44What are you looking at?