0:00:08 > 0:00:11Fellow Revengers, it's been a busy week.
0:00:11 > 0:00:16Many of you e-mailed me to congratulate me on my 200th revenge,
0:00:16 > 0:00:19when I successfully enlisted Miss Bird in the SAS.
0:00:19 > 0:00:24- Alistair!- That'll teach her to seat me at front of class.- Alistair!
0:00:24 > 0:00:28Don't worry, she's coming back from Arctic survival training next month.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Downstairs, please. Family meeting.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Mum! I've told you not to come in while I'm broadcasting.
0:00:34 > 0:00:38- I'm sure your little friends will be there later.- They're Revengers!
0:00:38 > 0:00:42That's nice. Mel's got a special announcement to make.
0:00:42 > 0:00:43That's not fair!
0:00:43 > 0:00:47No boy in history has ever been treated as badly as me!
0:00:47 > 0:00:51# Ah, get her, get him Gettin' even ain't a sin
0:00:51 > 0:00:54# Sister Mel and brother Will Make 'em take a bitter pill
0:00:54 > 0:00:57- # Serve it up lukewarm - Lukewarm
0:00:57 > 0:01:00# Yes, the storm before the storm
0:01:00 > 0:01:03# Oh, look out, world His average is good
0:01:03 > 0:01:06# Your tea's gone cold and now you're getting old
0:01:06 > 0:01:10# You know, the boy with the camera He's gonna scam ya
0:01:10 > 0:01:15# Harder than Stonehenge It's gonna be a mighty revenge. #
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Mum. Dad.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22William. Et cetera.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24You've all met my boyfriend, John.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26John The One. Bleuurrgh!
0:01:26 > 0:01:28John and I are very much in love.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32Last week he hired a plane to write his love across the sky.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Only the best for my princess.
0:01:33 > 0:01:38What a waste! If I could afford a plane I'd make better use of it.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Mel Fury stinks of goat!
0:01:43 > 0:01:46- Tell them our news, John. - You do it, angel.
0:01:46 > 0:01:50- The words fall from your lips like petals from a lily.- Bleurgh!
0:01:50 > 0:01:51- Urgh.- Huh?
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Everyone...
0:01:53 > 0:01:55we're engaged.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00- Don't worry, champ. I'm not taking your sister away.- I wish you were.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03But you're only 16. When do you plan on getting married?
0:02:03 > 0:02:05And who's going to pay for it?
0:02:05 > 0:02:08- That's what I'd like to know. - No, we're not engaged to be married.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10We're engaged to be engaged.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14- Stupid. I'm going back upstairs. - We've not talked about presents yet.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16- Presents?- Pre-engagement presents.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19- Obviously we don't want anything too expensive.- Yeah, we do.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Well, tough. My pocket money's been cancelled
0:02:22 > 0:02:25- for another two months, so I can't afford one.- Mum, that's not fair.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Make him buy us presents.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Well, perhaps he could make you one.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32- How about that?- Oh, good idea!
0:02:32 > 0:02:34- I'll make you one too.- Yeah, and me.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37We'll all make you presents. What do you think, Melanie?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Yeah, great(!)
0:02:39 > 0:02:42- Engaged to be engaged?- That's stupid.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46I know. It's just a way to get presents. Wish I'd thought of it.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49So what are you going to make for them?
0:02:49 > 0:02:52I'll craft a lovely piece of home-made revenge.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55A cake...with squirrels' eyeballs in it!
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Mum'd do that anyway.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00I've got a better idea.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04A photo album full of pictures of Mel.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07But that sounds quite nice.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09You haven't seen the pictures.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17- Here's your present.- Oh!
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Wait, wait, wait!
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Now.
0:03:30 > 0:03:31Look at this, my beautiful.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33He's named a star after us.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36The Melanie and John Pre-engagement Star.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38You cut this out of a box, William.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42Yeah. I'll put it on top.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46Here you are, John and Mel.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49The Fury family tree, to welcome you into the clan.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52All the family's there. That's my mum, Constance.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Ah, great uncle Alistair - there's a cautionary tale!
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Well, what do you think?
0:03:57 > 0:04:00I suppose the frame's nice.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03- Oh, it's wonderful, Mr Fury. - Ah, Sean.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05One of the family now, Son.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08What have you got me, Mum? You can't share with Dad cos that's cheating.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12I am going to do all the catering for your engagement party
0:04:12 > 0:04:17- and your wedding. How about that? - That's very thoughtful.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Has this got something to do with your TV show by any chance?
0:04:20 > 0:04:22I might possibly use it as part of the show, yes.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Michael says a reality element might help ratings.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29- What a fantastic set of gifts.- And none of you spent a single penny.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Photo album, pictures of Melanie.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39Oh, don't open it. It'll have pictures of frogs in or something.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41No, they're photos of you.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44And you look beautiful as ever. Oh, who's the chap on this one?
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Oh, that's Mel's ex-boyfriend Mark.
0:04:47 > 0:04:51He dumped her when he saw her without make-up.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54Oh, the next one's Mel with her ex-boyfriend Si.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58He left when she was sick on him at the funfair. Remember that?
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Oh! That's her ex-boyfriend Alex.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03He split when he learned English.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07That's her ex-boyfriend Jacko.
0:05:07 > 0:05:11We liked him. It was a shame when he got tracked down by the police.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15That's...interesting.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18I never knew you had so many FRIENDS, angel heart.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21- I hate you, Alice!- Angel heart?
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Angel heart!
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Ahh, I don't think he liked 'em.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Why must you do this, Alistair?
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Why can't you be more like William?
0:05:31 > 0:05:35He's so much more thoughtful, more caring.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39- More considerate, more of a pain in the bum.- They said that, did they?
0:05:39 > 0:05:41- Not the last bit, Aaron, no.- Oh.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44They've compared me to William ever since I was born.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46"William never cried as much as you.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49"William never drank his milk like that."
0:05:49 > 0:05:52- He is better at most things than you are.- I'm sorry?!
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Nothing. That was just my brain thinking without me.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58I know exactly how to revenge myself against him.
0:05:58 > 0:06:03By doing what everyone wants - being more like him.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05I'll dress like him, act like him,
0:06:05 > 0:06:08talk like him. You won't be able to tell the difference.
0:06:08 > 0:06:09It'll drive him mad!
0:06:11 > 0:06:12Ta-da!
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Wow. You look just like your mum.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23How's this for a wedding breakfast?
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Caviar on a nest of smoked salmon,
0:06:26 > 0:06:29topped with ice cream, but fish-flavoured ice cream,
0:06:29 > 0:06:32and a fish finger sticking out like a 99.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35- No, Mum.- Have you any idea how much that would cost?
0:06:35 > 0:06:36This wedding's going to wipe us out.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40Not if it's for TV. People give you stuff for free when it's for TV.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Really?
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Alice!
0:07:07 > 0:07:10- What are you doing? - What are you doing?
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- What?- What?
0:07:18 > 0:07:22Oh, I get it, copying me. Pathetic.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25Oh, I get it, copying me. Pathetic.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Hi, there.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Yeah. Love Limousine Hire?
0:07:29 > 0:07:33How much would a Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow be for the day?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Bearing in mind it is for TV.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Yeah, excellent publicity.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Free of charge, you say?
0:07:41 > 0:07:42Lovely.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Get in there!
0:07:52 > 0:07:55You'll get bored of this before me.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58You'll get bored of this before me.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00I just won't say anything, then.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03I just won't say anything, then.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12- Hi, William.- You all right?
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- You all right? - This your little brother?
0:08:15 > 0:08:16Yeah.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- Yeah.- I've got a couple of free tickets
0:08:19 > 0:08:21for a gig in town this Friday. Fancy coming with me?
0:08:23 > 0:08:25- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Is that all you can say?
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Gemma, can we talk about it another time because my stupid brother
0:08:31 > 0:08:34is being really annoying and copying everything I say!
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Tell you what. Forget it.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39- Gemma!- Gemma!
0:08:40 > 0:08:43OK. If you like copying me so much, fine.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46OK. If you like copying me so much, fine.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49We'll start with 50 press-ups.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52We'll start with 50 press-ups.
0:08:52 > 0:08:53And then a ten-mile run.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56And...then a ten-mile run.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00Yes, I'd like to order six jeroboams of Champagne, please.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02That's right, the really big bottles.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05Well, bearing in mind that it is for a TV show.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Free of charge, you say? Lovely.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Dad, I'm engaged to be engaged. I'm not getting married yet.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16I know, I know.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18But when you do walk down the aisle
0:09:18 > 0:09:22what do you say you walk down...in this?
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Wow! Oh, that's really nice.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28What's that on t'back?
0:09:28 > 0:09:33- Oh, nothing important. - Let's have a look.- Mel.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35- Dad!- It's only a tiny ad, love.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39No-one will even notice. And it meant that I got the dress for free.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42Nice outfit, Mel. Very...you.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46I thought you were out with your brother.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50I was. Got back an hour ago. Don't know what happened to Alice, though.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52CRASH
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Hello, Alice. Nice run?
0:09:55 > 0:09:58Hello, Alice. Nice run?
0:09:58 > 0:10:03- Still copying me, then? - Still copying me, then?
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Mel, come on, it's not that bad.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Will, what are you doing?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Try this.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Argh! Will, put me down!
0:10:13 > 0:10:14Stupid.
0:10:21 > 0:10:25Pathetic. You're a weakling. I can't believe you're my brother.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27I reckon Mum found you in a bush.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30I bet you're not a Fury at all.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Adopted? What are you talking about?
0:10:46 > 0:10:47The frame was too small.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50I had to cut you out of the family tree
0:10:50 > 0:10:52or there wouldn't be any room for John.
0:10:52 > 0:10:53You're not adopted, Alistair.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57To be honest with you, we did consider it.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00But we didn't think anyone else would want you.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Watch this.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07'OH, I AM BREATHING!
0:11:07 > 0:11:09'OK, breathe more. One more time.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12'Put your back into it, Celia. Come on!'
0:11:12 > 0:11:16- Mum!- 'Don't you dare say that to me! - I can see the head!'
0:11:16 > 0:11:18BOTH: It's you!
0:11:18 > 0:11:20'It's a...it's a boy!
0:11:20 > 0:11:22'Oh, no!'
0:11:28 > 0:11:31Fellow Revengers, how do I know I can trust them?
0:11:31 > 0:11:36That baby could have been anyone. I mean, all babies look like Mr E.
0:11:36 > 0:11:41But there's only one person I know who can tell me straight.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Hello, Granny. Thank you for coming at such short notice.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47I've made you a Marmite sandwich and a nice pot of tea.
0:11:47 > 0:11:52Now, who's this John I keep hearing about? Is he Irish?
0:11:52 > 0:11:55And how much does he earn? I mean ball park.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59- Can he get me a stairlift? - I don't know, Granny. But...
0:11:59 > 0:12:04If Melanie gets engaged she'll have my own ring, passed down
0:12:04 > 0:12:07through the Fury family to the first grandchild engaged.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10- That's nice but... - Properly engaged, mind you.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14- None of this pre-engagement nonsense. - Granny, am I adopted?
0:12:14 > 0:12:17What? Oh, of course not!
0:12:17 > 0:12:22Every generation of Furys has three children.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24A girl, a boy and an Alistair.
0:12:24 > 0:12:29Always have done, and always will. Like your uncle Alistair.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32- Who?- Oh, yeah, we don't talk about him very much.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Well, he was a bit of a loser as a son.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38I cut him out of my will and he ran off to New Zealand in a sulk.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Like HIS uncle Alistair.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44He got nothing in his mother's will, he ran off to Canada.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47And HIS uncle Alistair...
0:12:47 > 0:12:51You know, come to think of it, all the Alistairs were complete losers.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55- All of them? - Oh, it's all in the genes, Alistair.
0:12:55 > 0:13:00Nothing at all to worry about. So you can't help it.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03Please, please, please don't let it be true that every Alistair Fury
0:13:03 > 0:13:08in the history of the world has been a loser, that their brothers
0:13:08 > 0:13:11and sisters won every time. Here's what Ralph and Aaron found out.
0:13:11 > 0:13:16We present our investigation: Alistair Furys throughout history.
0:13:16 > 0:13:191066, the Battle of Hastings.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23Pikeman Alistair Fury, slain by an arrow to the chest because he was
0:13:23 > 0:13:27wearing his brother's hand-me-down armour and it had holes in it.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Pompeii, 79AD.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Alistair Furius was pelted with molten lava
0:13:32 > 0:13:34as he took the rubbish out
0:13:34 > 0:13:37cos his mum said it was his turn when it wasn't.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Stone Age Alistair Fury, trampled by bison
0:13:40 > 0:13:43because his vegetarian sister wouldn't let him kill it.
0:13:43 > 0:13:461969, man lands on the moon.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50Two astronauts were allowed to get out and walk on its surface.
0:13:50 > 0:13:55One had to stay inside and look after the bags. His name?
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Alistair!
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser,
0:14:00 > 0:14:02loser, loser, loser, loser, loser!
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Loser, loser, loser, loser, loser!
0:14:05 > 0:14:07LOSER!
0:14:07 > 0:14:11I resign from the Revengers. There's no point me going on.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13My life is doomed.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Revengers, we need your help. Our leader won't lead.
0:14:22 > 0:14:27Just because all the other Alistairs lost out, doesn't mean you have to.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30- Yes, it does. - What if you're different?
0:14:30 > 0:14:33What if you get all the good stuff from your parents' will
0:14:33 > 0:14:35and Mel and William get nothing?
0:14:35 > 0:14:38Then you'll definitely not be a loser and you'll have beaten the curse!
0:14:38 > 0:14:40- Job done.- How?
0:14:40 > 0:14:42We'll forge a will.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46Come on, Ralph, let's see what's worth inheriting.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51Telly. Probably worth a couple of hundred.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53DVD player, 50 quid.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58What's this vase worth?
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Not very much, Aaron.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05I'll keep looking. You go ask Mrs Fury how much the house is worth.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09But don't come straight out with it. Ask her subtly.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14And for the main course, goose with a pheasant stuffed inside it,
0:15:14 > 0:15:17and a duck inside that, then a chicken, then a quail,
0:15:17 > 0:15:19then a robin, then a little mouse.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22Mum, it's only a pre-engagement.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Yes, but soon it'll be an engagement, and then a wedding.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28And then who knows? Perhaps a christening.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31I could get four series out of this.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34And then God forbid that you do ever get divorced, but if you do
0:15:34 > 0:15:36I've got some fantastic recipes.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Banana split.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Heart crumble with sour grapes.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43How much is your house worth?
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Nothing. She said the bank owns it.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50- And there are no valuables in the house.- Your mum said
0:15:50 > 0:15:54the only treasure in the whole family is your Granny's jewellery.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57Yes, of course! Granny's jewellery!
0:15:57 > 0:16:01If Melanie gets engaged she'll have my own ring
0:16:01 > 0:16:04passed down through the Fury family to the first...
0:16:04 > 0:16:06...grandchild engaged.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09That's no good. Mel's already engaged.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11No. Mel's pre-engaged.
0:16:11 > 0:16:16If I get engaged first, it'll mean that posh ring is mine.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20- Why would you even want a ring? - Because it'd mean I've won!
0:16:20 > 0:16:24An Alistair would have won! It'd break the curse.
0:16:24 > 0:16:29I must have the ring! That ring!
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Precious!
0:16:32 > 0:16:34But Alistair, you're 11 years old.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38- You don't even have a girlfriend. - That's where you come in.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Um, we're good mates, but...
0:16:40 > 0:16:44No, you're going to find me a fiancee.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47Oh! What's a fiancee?
0:16:47 > 0:16:50Just make me sound like a good catch. A prize worth winning.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58Raffle tickets! Ten pence per strip!
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Raffle tickets!
0:17:00 > 0:17:02I'll have one. What's the prize?
0:17:02 > 0:17:05MUMBLES: Getting engaged to Alistair Fury.
0:17:05 > 0:17:10- Getting what?- Engaged to Alistair Fury.- What did you say?
0:17:10 > 0:17:14- Getting engaged to Alistair Fury! - Urgh!
0:17:14 > 0:17:16You must be joking!
0:17:16 > 0:17:18MOBILE RINGS
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Hi, Alistair.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Not great, to be honest.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Um, well, we've sold...none.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31Not one? How many girls have you asked?
0:17:33 > 0:17:36There aren't that many in the whole school.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39Tell them that my Granny's at death's door.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41That it's her dying wish that...
0:17:42 > 0:17:46Oh, Alistair. I'm so sorry.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48- What? - About your granny being ill.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51I wish there was something I could do.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Tell them what?
0:17:55 > 0:17:5750 tickets.
0:18:00 > 0:18:05It's very sad. The doctors say she may only be with us a few more days.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07A week at the most.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Is there anything I can do?
0:18:09 > 0:18:11It sounds a bit weird,
0:18:11 > 0:18:18- but my granny's last wish was to see me get engaged.- Engaged? You're 11.
0:18:18 > 0:18:22I know. It's crazy. But so is she.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24It's part of the illness.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27I'd love to help you but we can't get married.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30But we could get engaged.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33For Granny. While she's still with us.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34You don't have to mean it.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Well...
0:18:36 > 0:18:38OK.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40In that case, I'll do it.
0:18:40 > 0:18:41Result!
0:18:48 > 0:18:51William! Excuse me. I'm here to see Alistair.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Got a hot date, have you? I nearly had a date tonight
0:18:54 > 0:18:57- until Alistair screwed it up. - We're meeting your granny.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01- Strange date, but then again he is a strange boy.- Is he in?
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Er...no. Change of plan.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05He's already gone, gone to Granny's.
0:19:05 > 0:19:09Oh, OK. Can you show me the way to Granny's, then?
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Of course, that's why I'm here!
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Down this road, through the industrial estate,
0:19:15 > 0:19:17over the wall into the hedgehog sanctuary
0:19:17 > 0:19:20and keep going until you see signs for Cardiff.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Er...thank you.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27It's not just you that can do revenges, Alice.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Come on, Pamela, where are you?
0:19:34 > 0:19:37- Hi, Alistair.- No sign of my fiancee.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39- Yeah, there is. She's here.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42- Ta-da!- Where?- Ta-da! - I can't see her.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Oh, you big silly.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48Alistair, it's me, Chelsy, your wife to be.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50No way. I'm engaged to Pamela Whitby.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54- Hey, congratulations. - Congratulations nothing.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57I won him fair and square. Come on, Alistair,
0:19:57 > 0:20:00let's shout our love from the rooftops.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02I don't understand. She should be here by...
0:20:02 > 0:20:05- Oh, no.- What is it? - My sister's coming.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08What if she's engaged? She'll have the ring.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11I'll never break the Alistair curse.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27Oh, there you are. Make us a Marmite sandwich, will you, Alistair?
0:20:27 > 0:20:29- Granny, I've got something to tell...- Me first!
0:20:29 > 0:20:31We're engaged to be married.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34- You what?- We're very much in love.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36- I won him in a raffle.- Of the heart.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38- A raffle of the heart. - But you're ten years old.
0:20:38 > 0:20:4011. But it doesn't matter.
0:20:40 > 0:20:41We're still engaged.
0:20:45 > 0:20:49- So, Granny. - You get my engagement ring.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53Passed down through generations of the Fury family.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54Yes!
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Treat it with respect.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00- What's that?- My engagement ring.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04- But it's tiny.- Of course it is.
0:21:04 > 0:21:05We were a poor Irish family.
0:21:05 > 0:21:10It was made for small, potato-famished hands.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Only fits my little finger now.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15- What happened to that big expensive...- This one?
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Got that in the arcades last week.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Cost a fortune. I'll be buried in that one.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Can I share my news now?
0:21:21 > 0:21:24- My engagement's off.- What?
0:21:24 > 0:21:29I cannot believe you would do this to me. My own daughter!
0:21:29 > 0:21:34- It's a real body blow.- But I'm 16. I'm too young to be getting married.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Oh, that's so selfish.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39We had the whole series scheduled.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43We had a name, Celia Fury's Wedding Feasts.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46And Mel, Mel calls off the engagement.
0:21:46 > 0:21:50I've just got the free champagne. They'll want that back now.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53And the fireworks. And the chocolate fountain.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56And the lizards.
0:21:56 > 0:21:57- Lizards?- They were free.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59I couldn't turn them down.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04- Mum, Dad, I've got an announcement. - Yes, Alistair, not now.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07- We're in crisis. - This is Chelsy, my fiancee.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Hiya.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13We're engaged to be married. What do you think about that?
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Why, darling,
0:22:15 > 0:22:18that's absolutely wonderful.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22- Congratulations, Son.- We don't care if you do forbid it... What?
0:22:22 > 0:22:24We're absolutely thrilled for you.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Couldn't be happier.
0:22:26 > 0:22:31- But...I'm 11.- And you've already found the right girl. Good for you.
0:22:31 > 0:22:35I'll phone my producer, tell him the show's back on.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Fellow Revengers, I'm running away.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44Just like uncle Alistair, great-uncle Alistair
0:22:44 > 0:22:46and great-great-uncle Alistair.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Fate's beaten me.
0:22:51 > 0:22:55Oh. Nice to see you're finally tidying up in here.
0:22:55 > 0:23:00Now, Alistair, I've brought you something.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04It's a neck chain from my brother, your uncle Alec.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07He wanted you to have it when you got engaged.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10- I've never heard of uncle Alec.- You were supposed to be named after him
0:23:10 > 0:23:13but your father filled the forms in wrong at the hospital.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16Anyway, we don't much talk about Alec.
0:23:16 > 0:23:20The little brothers on my side have...colourful histories.
0:23:21 > 0:23:26Interesting! So I was supposed to be an Alec.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Uncle Alecs in history.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Alec Turpin, highwayman.
0:23:31 > 0:23:36Robbed stagecoaches. Only the ones with his parents on board.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39Alec Hood. Stole from the rich to give to the poor,
0:23:39 > 0:23:42then stole from his brother and kept it.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45Alec Capone.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Public enemy number one, especially when he pinched
0:23:48 > 0:23:50his sister's holiday money.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55I never knew Mum's family were such brilliant revengers.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57I can't run off now, I'd be letting them down.
0:23:57 > 0:24:02- So what are you going to do? - The same thing uncle Alec would do:
0:24:02 > 0:24:05turn the situation to my advantage.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07What do you get at a wedding?
0:24:07 > 0:24:09- Married?- No.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13Presents! Wait till you see my wedding list.
0:24:28 > 0:24:32Individual tartlets of goats' cheese, drizzled with goats' milk
0:24:32 > 0:24:34and topped with goats' meat.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37Here you are, boys.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Alan, Aaron, Ralph.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43ALISTAIR!
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Quite a wedding list, Alistair.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Well, you only get married once.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Was there anything on it for Chelsy?
0:24:51 > 0:24:54- Who? - DOORBELL CHIMES
0:24:54 > 0:24:55First guest!
0:24:55 > 0:24:59What do you think they might bring? Digital camera? Scooter?
0:24:59 > 0:25:02I'm so sorry I didn't find you at your grandmother's.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05I got myself completely lost.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08- That's OK.- I hope I'm not too late.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Your granny, is she still with us?
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Yeah, she's over there.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Thank goodness.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18- Hello, Granny Fury.- Who are you?
0:25:18 > 0:25:21I'm Pamela, Alistair's fiancee.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23I thought that one was his fiancee.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26- No, Granny. It's me.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29It is not! He's marrying me!
0:25:29 > 0:25:31- Alistair?
0:25:32 > 0:25:36Fine! If you think you can mess me about,
0:25:36 > 0:25:40Alistair Fury, then the wedding's off.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Keep your stupid ring.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Were you using me, Alistair?
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Not intentionally, no.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52Then may all your bedfellows be worms! Goodnight.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Ah, looks like the engagement's off.
0:25:56 > 0:26:00I'll phone round, tell everyone not to bring presents.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Fellow Revengers,
0:26:08 > 0:26:13it's been a difficult week. I've been engaged twice and dumped twice.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17I've lost out on the best presents in the history of the world.
0:26:17 > 0:26:21But, on the bright side, I'm not marrying Chelsy.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24And even better, I've found out I come from a long line of
0:26:24 > 0:26:27successful and talented revengers.
0:26:27 > 0:26:32In the future, little brothers will rule the world
0:26:32 > 0:26:37and an Alistair Fury will be overlord of the entire galaxy.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41This is Alistair Fury signing off.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20This is your general speaking. Be aware that all homes must now
0:27:20 > 0:27:24display a life-sized statue of myself, your leader,
0:27:24 > 0:27:26- upon pain of death.
0:27:26 > 0:27:27Alistair!
0:27:29 > 0:27:33This is according to space directive 397B.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35Downstairs, please. Family meeting.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Mum! I've told you not to come in when I'm broadcasting.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41I'm sure all your little friends will be there later.
0:27:41 > 0:27:45They're not little friends. They're the people of the Delta Nine galaxy.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48- That's nice.- It's not fair.
0:27:48 > 0:27:52No boy in history has ever been treated as badly as me.