0:00:07 > 0:00:09Good evening, fellow Revengers.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11The tale I'm about to...
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Argh!
0:00:13 > 0:00:17# Oh, get her, get him Getting even ain't a sin
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# Sister Mel and Brother Will Make 'em take a bitter pill
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# Serve it up lukewarm
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# Yeah, it's the storm before the storm
0:00:26 > 0:00:30# Oh, look out, world Your sandwich is curled
0:00:30 > 0:00:33# Your tea's gone cold and now you're getting old
0:00:33 > 0:00:36# Y'know, the boy with the camera He's gonna scam ya
0:00:36 > 0:00:40# Harder than Stonehenge It's gonna be a mighty revenge. #
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Good evening again, fellow Revengers.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48The tale I'm about to tell confirms me
0:00:48 > 0:00:53as one of the top three brilliant thinkers of all time,
0:00:53 > 0:00:55along with Stephen Hawking,
0:00:55 > 0:00:59Einstein and the man who invented cheese-stuffed pizza crust.
0:00:59 > 0:01:04As with all great works of genius, the beginnings were very ordinary.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Alistair, you're being silly! Look, just take ONE bite!
0:01:11 > 0:01:15- No!- Someone has to test the recipes for my survival food
0:01:15 > 0:01:18in Living Off Nature monthly.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21"Extreme Cooking - Living Off Your Own Body."
0:01:21 > 0:01:24- Why me?! - You're the best at surviving!
0:01:24 > 0:01:25Remember, Alis?
0:01:25 > 0:01:29- How long's that now?- Ten minutes.
0:01:29 > 0:01:34Yes! In yer face! Told you I was better at surviving than you!
0:01:34 > 0:01:35Let me out now.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39HE BANGS ON LID
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Will?!
0:01:40 > 0:01:42- WILL! - HE BANGS HARDER
0:01:42 > 0:01:45If you can survive an hour-and-a-half in a trunk
0:01:45 > 0:01:48you're obviously the perfect guinea pig!
0:01:48 > 0:01:50What bits of my body are in it?
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Best wait till after.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56Remember, Alistair, a wise man knows nothing.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Think about it!
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Not bad!
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Chewy, with a spicy tang.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13That's a big thumbs-up for earwax and toe-jam vol-au-vents.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17- Eugh!- It's OK, it's not your toe-jam you're eating, it's mine!
0:02:17 > 0:02:18HE VOMITS
0:02:18 > 0:02:22Fellow Revengers, justice has to be done for this outrage.
0:02:22 > 0:02:26Forcing me to sit in a trunk and then eat his toe-jam
0:02:26 > 0:02:30calls for Will to receive the most extreme payback.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Meet a bowl of pure revenge.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Ingredients.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51Leave to fester in warm wardrobe for three to four days
0:02:51 > 0:02:54before being served over my stupid brother's head!
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Ha! I'm going to call it Doris.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Can't wait till she meets Will!
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Will. Meet Doris.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08I didn't know your name were Doris.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10It isn't. This is Doris.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15Ugh!
0:03:20 > 0:03:22MOBILE PHONE BEEPS
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Look what Rod just sent me!
0:03:28 > 0:03:29It's a fish!
0:03:29 > 0:03:32It's a Pink Kissing Gourami, you ignoramus!
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Rod says I remind him of one.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36That's a good thing!
0:03:36 > 0:03:39I think it's great Rod's so fond of fish.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43Shows he's a very loving, compassionate person.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46I agree. I'm very fond of pilchards. On toast!
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Look at this!
0:03:54 > 0:03:57- You have a fan club? - Why shouldn't I?
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Cos you're a terrible cook and it's rubbish food!
0:04:00 > 0:04:04- No reason! - The Celia Fury Fan Club.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08They want me to be guest of honour at their inaugural meeting.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10- You'll have to drive me.- I'm busy.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12You don't know when it is!
0:04:12 > 0:04:13- When?- When are you busy?
0:04:13 > 0:04:15- You first.- This weekend.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17I'm busy.
0:04:18 > 0:04:22We'll be away overnight, so we'll get Granny to keep an eye on you.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23Don't worry, Mum.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26- I'll take care of it. - Thank you, William.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30At least some people don't have to be asked to help me out.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34I'll help out! By staying at Ralph or Aaron's.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38Oh! I wanted Alistair to stay here so I could look after him.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41No! You don't know what happened last time!
0:04:41 > 0:04:47If it takes 4.5 men 2.2 hours to dig a hole 3.3m deep,
0:04:47 > 0:04:51how long's it take one man to dig a hole 5.7m deep?
0:04:51 > 0:04:52How're you doing?
0:04:54 > 0:04:58I just want a chance to bond with my little brother!
0:04:58 > 0:05:00- Oh, that's so sweet!- Sweet?!
0:05:00 > 0:05:03The only thing he wants to bond is my head, to a table!
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Just us, without Ralph or Aaron in the way!
0:05:06 > 0:05:08I need them for protection!
0:05:08 > 0:05:10I'm proud of you, William.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13I know Alistair's going to be in good hands.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16They'll be round my throat as soon as you leave!
0:05:16 > 0:05:20This is the start of something beautiful between you two boys!
0:05:24 > 0:05:28FLOWING MUSIC PLAYS
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Moo!
0:05:42 > 0:05:44I don't think it is!
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Right! Are we ready to go?
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Thanks for this, Constance.
0:05:56 > 0:06:00My pleasure! I'd do anything in the world for my family!
0:06:00 > 0:06:04Although...this is going to be a big imposition on me.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07We ARE paying you £5 an hour, Mum.
0:06:07 > 0:06:12I know! On reflection, something closer to £10 would be fairer!
0:06:12 > 0:06:15- How much closer?- 10.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18You could always ask someone else.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22We're leaving in two minutes.
0:06:28 > 0:06:29I'm proud of you, son!
0:06:29 > 0:06:32A chance to be the man of the house.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Look, here's some money for food and any extras
0:06:35 > 0:06:37and in case of emergency, huh?
0:06:37 > 0:06:40- Thanks, Dad, I'll spend it wisely. - Yeah.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Would've been cheaper to go to the Bahamas!
0:06:56 > 0:07:00The law says my parents are supposed to look after me.
0:07:00 > 0:07:04So why have they left me in the hands of Will and Mel,
0:07:04 > 0:07:06the dim reapers?
0:07:06 > 0:07:11For this neglect, Mum and Dad deserve a stonking revenge!
0:07:11 > 0:07:14And thanks to a little note I left on the dashboard,
0:07:14 > 0:07:19they're going to get one. They will never reach their destination!
0:07:19 > 0:07:24My only chance of surviving this weekend is if Granny protects me!
0:07:26 > 0:07:29As agreed, Granny. 15 quid and you lose yourself.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Pleasure to do business with you.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Now, I've a load of mates coming around,
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Russell Crowe marathon on cable,
0:07:36 > 0:07:39so if you burn the house down, do it quietly!
0:07:42 > 0:07:43Yes!
0:07:43 > 0:07:46I'm surrounded by traitors!
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Right, Alis, here's the rules.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52Now Granny's gone, we are going to do all the things
0:07:52 > 0:07:53Mum and Dad never let us do.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57So I've invited Christine, the hottest babe in school round.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Why's she interested in you?
0:07:59 > 0:08:03Cos I'm getting the new Orlando Bloom download. Less cheek!
0:08:03 > 0:08:06I'm going to the cosmetic surgeons college.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09There's free Botox to anyone that lets students practise on them.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11You're getting a free bum?!
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Botox, not buttocks. Idiot!
0:08:14 > 0:08:18Maybe you should ask about the bum while you're there.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Rod says he wished I had a pout like Victoria,
0:08:20 > 0:08:23his favourite Pink Kissing Gourami.
0:08:23 > 0:08:24That one, please.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28And can you cut the head off? It's really quite ugly.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30What are we going to do with you, Alis?
0:08:30 > 0:08:32If I go missing, people will notice!
0:08:32 > 0:08:36- I doubt it! Nobody notices you when you're here!- Yeah...
0:08:36 > 0:08:38There's good news and bad news.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41The bad news is, I used some of the food money to pay off Granny.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44The rest's for the Orlando download.
0:08:44 > 0:08:45And the good news?
0:08:45 > 0:08:48That makes me very happy!
0:08:48 > 0:08:50I like it when you're in charge!
0:08:50 > 0:08:52So what am I supposed to eat?
0:08:52 > 0:08:56A, there's some four-day-old armpit-sweat soup
0:08:56 > 0:08:59from Mum's Living Off Your Body project
0:08:59 > 0:09:01or, B, you starve.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Mel! Help me!
0:09:02 > 0:09:05I would if I cared. Sadly, I don't.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Right, I'm going round to Rod's later to show off my new pout.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13One more thing. I don't want you around when I'm getting
0:09:13 > 0:09:17the house ready for Christine. Or when she gets here.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- So clear out.- Where will I go?!
0:09:19 > 0:09:21You can't do all this to me!
0:09:21 > 0:09:24Yes, I can! Dad left me in charge.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30Well, son, this is a big moment leaving you in charge.
0:09:30 > 0:09:35There's the keys and just a few numbers in case you need them.
0:09:35 > 0:09:40Electrician...a good plumber... and plasterer, just in case.
0:09:40 > 0:09:45Also that's the accountant, our bank manager, a lawyer,
0:09:45 > 0:09:48dentist, butcher, baker, candlestick maker,
0:09:48 > 0:09:51florist, garden centre, quantity surveyor,
0:09:51 > 0:09:55locksmith's, funeral director, cheesemongers...
0:09:55 > 0:10:00The rest are just various religious organisations in case you need them.
0:10:00 > 0:10:01Thanks, Dad.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09Remember...those two geeky mates of yours are banned, OK?
0:10:15 > 0:10:20Abandoned. In the shed, cut off from the Revengers.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22It looks like Will's won.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Ha! Wrong! William - peanut brain -
0:10:25 > 0:10:29you can't ban the Revengers cos they're already here!
0:10:29 > 0:10:32- All right?- Nice one!
0:10:34 > 0:10:36They've taken away my human rights...
0:10:36 > 0:10:39to a bed, food...
0:10:40 > 0:10:42..a proper toilet.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46I sentence Will and Mel to dastardly revenge!
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Agreed. What's the plan?
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Well, like Amazonian pygmies,
0:10:51 > 0:10:54we could live off the things we find around us.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57Or you could deliberately starve to death.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Why would I wanna do that?
0:10:59 > 0:11:03Your family will get the blame and be sent to prison!
0:11:03 > 0:11:07You'd be a martyr, a patron saint to little brothers everywhere.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Statues, people praying to you...
0:11:09 > 0:11:12while your family break rocks on Dartmoor.
0:11:12 > 0:11:17Yeah. For the sake of little brothers everywhere....I'll do it.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21RELIGIOUS MUSIC
0:11:21 > 0:11:23So you won't want any of these, then?
0:11:25 > 0:11:29On second thoughts...plenty of time to become a saint.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Go with the pygmy plan.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Michael, this is just the start.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38You're my producer. You could extend the fan club nationwide.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40It would be great publicity.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44Excuse me. Sean, put your foot down! You're driving like your mother!
0:11:44 > 0:11:46- She doesn't drive.- Exactly!
0:11:46 > 0:11:49I might be able to go faster if I knew where I was going.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Could you look at the map?
0:11:52 > 0:11:56I am having a rather important conversation with my producer!
0:11:56 > 0:12:00I don't know why we don't get sat-nav like normal people!
0:12:00 > 0:12:04Sorry about that, Michael. You can't get the staff.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07To think I'm missing Jobs For Dogs to be here.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Quick! Will's coming!
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Come to bring me some bread and water?
0:12:16 > 0:12:20No. You in here on your own?
0:12:20 > 0:12:21Yes.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Uh!
0:12:28 > 0:12:30I think I hurt my dose!
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Oh!
0:12:32 > 0:12:35HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM
0:12:42 > 0:12:43What's up with you?
0:12:45 > 0:12:46Oh!
0:12:46 > 0:12:50Has the Botox gone wrong or was that the look you were after?
0:12:50 > 0:12:54Course it has! It could be hours before it wears off!
0:12:54 > 0:12:57I can't go to Rod's looking like this!
0:12:57 > 0:13:00What will Mum and Dad say?!
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Dunno! But I can't wait to hear it!
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Oh, dear!
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Back to your kennel, Alis!
0:13:08 > 0:13:13Now, listen. If you don't sort that disfigurement out now,
0:13:13 > 0:13:15it could be there forever!
0:13:15 > 0:13:18- What do YOU know about it?- Plenty!
0:13:18 > 0:13:22When Aaron's mum got her eyes Botoxed, they went all puffy.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25She had to put ice on them for the swelling,
0:13:25 > 0:13:30so just tape a bag of frozen peas to your face for a couple of hours.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32You'll be as right as rain!
0:13:32 > 0:13:33Are you sure?
0:13:33 > 0:13:37Mel, I wouldn't lie about a thing as serious as this.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Whoa! What happened?
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Did a bogie explode?
0:13:43 > 0:13:47My mum's just had Botox on her eyes and they're swelling right up.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49So why a bandage on YOUR face?
0:13:49 > 0:13:53The doctor told her on no account get it cold or it'd set rock-hard
0:13:53 > 0:13:55and take weeks to come down.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59So she made me get the shopping at the freezer centre
0:13:59 > 0:14:01and those freezers are really deep.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03Now I've got frostbite on my nose.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06So, on no account get it warm!
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Keep those lips nice and cold
0:14:09 > 0:14:12and Rod'll be getting a big surprise later on!
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Thank you! Now, clear off!
0:14:20 > 0:14:23THEY CHEER
0:14:23 > 0:14:25A lovely piece of off-the-cuff revenging!
0:14:25 > 0:14:30I'm even thinking like a pygmy now! And if my calculations are right...
0:14:33 > 0:14:36- I thought you got this thing serviced?- I DID!
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Yes, on the cheap again, I bet!
0:14:40 > 0:14:43- Where on earth are we?! - How should I know?
0:14:43 > 0:14:47It IS illegal to drive and read a map at the same time!
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Those are important calls I was making!
0:14:50 > 0:14:53To break into the survival market, I need a book deal!
0:14:53 > 0:14:57- It's called trying to build a career! Try it sometime!- Yeah?
0:14:57 > 0:15:01Well, thanks to your important calls, the phone's now dead
0:15:01 > 0:15:03and we can't call a garage!
0:15:03 > 0:15:06No problem! We'll flag down a passing car!
0:15:09 > 0:15:12COW MOOS
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Rod's here.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25What is it?
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Oh, no! It's got worse!
0:15:31 > 0:15:33SHARP TING
0:15:32 > 0:15:33And it's gone hard!
0:15:33 > 0:15:35You are history, Alis!
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Hiya, Mel!
0:15:38 > 0:15:41It's nice to see someone with a smile on their face.
0:15:43 > 0:15:48Sorry to bring you down but I've got the most terrible news.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Ant and Dec are dead.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Well, it weren't on the news.
0:15:56 > 0:15:57What was it? Car crash?
0:15:58 > 0:15:59Fin rot.
0:15:59 > 0:16:04They were my most favourite angelfish and now they're gone.
0:16:04 > 0:16:05Oh, that is so sad!
0:16:06 > 0:16:09It's not funny! I really loved them!
0:16:09 > 0:16:12I can't help it. I had Botox and it's gone wrong.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15That is the worst excuse I've ever heard!
0:16:15 > 0:16:17You never liked my fish!
0:16:17 > 0:16:19- You're glad they're dead!- No!
0:16:19 > 0:16:20I don't believe you!
0:16:20 > 0:16:24I'll count to five in my head and you've got to stop smiling!
0:16:26 > 0:16:28You heartless witch!
0:16:28 > 0:16:30You're officially dumped!
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Rod!
0:16:32 > 0:16:33Result!
0:16:33 > 0:16:36STOMACH RUMBLES
0:16:35 > 0:16:36I'm starving!
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Oh, that's brilliant!
0:16:40 > 0:16:43This could be the idea I need for my new book!
0:16:43 > 0:16:48How I Survived My Roadside Hell... by Celia Fury.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51This isn't going to involve cooking bits of body, is it?
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Cos when I said I was starving,
0:16:53 > 0:16:56I meant I was ever so slightly peckish.
0:16:56 > 0:16:57Gotta get my underwear off.
0:16:57 > 0:17:02- What?- There's a lot of nutrition in boiled pants, let me tell you!
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Granny...what are you doing back here?
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Ran out of toilet paper at home.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14What's gone wrong with your face?!
0:17:14 > 0:17:17Oh, Granny, my boyfriend's just dumped me,
0:17:17 > 0:17:21and I can't get another one cos I frighten people.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23What's the point in being alive?
0:17:23 > 0:17:27Until you're 18 and old enough to come with me
0:17:27 > 0:17:31and the rest of the St Xavier's Over-65s Circle on one of our trips
0:17:31 > 0:17:36to Alton Towers, I can't give you a full answer to that question.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40Meantime, I do have a director's cut of Gladiator on me and I know
0:17:40 > 0:17:44where your mother hides her giant bag of chocolates.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46So why don't we see both of them off,
0:17:46 > 0:17:49- and you tell me all about it? - But your friends...?
0:17:49 > 0:17:52We polished off a couple of bottles of sherry.
0:17:52 > 0:17:56Now they've all had to go for a nap. Lightweights!
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- Thanks, Granny. - Are you smiling for real, now?
0:18:00 > 0:18:02It's a bit difficult to tell.
0:18:08 > 0:18:12- Are you sure this camouflage is going to work?- Yeah!
0:18:12 > 0:18:15It's magnolia! We'll blend into the kitchen units.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18We've got to move fast if we want to be in position
0:18:18 > 0:18:21by the time Will gets back with Christine.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24- Know what you're doing, Aaron? - Check!
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Right, Ralph. Do your stuff.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33No-one ever uses this road, y'know. You're lucky that car came past.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36- < Soup's ready! - You've no idea how lucky.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- Would you like some?- What flavour?
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Pants.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42No, you're all right.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:18:44 > 0:18:48Mine's in the van, must be one of yours.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55You mean the whole time we were waiting for a passing car,
0:18:55 > 0:18:57you had your phone?
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Sorry. I forgot.
0:19:05 > 0:19:06Hello?
0:19:06 > 0:19:07'Celia Fury?'
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Speaking.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12This is Doreen, chairwoman of your fan club.
0:19:12 > 0:19:13'Hello!'
0:19:13 > 0:19:17We're on our way, spot of bother with the limo.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19'I wouldn't bother if I were you.'
0:19:19 > 0:19:21We've just had a vote and decided
0:19:21 > 0:19:24you're a pretty rubbish celebrity, really.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28- I'm sorry? - 'Rubbish. Not very good. Pants.'
0:19:28 > 0:19:31We've invited the Chuckle Brothers along instead.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34You might as well go home. Goodbye.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40- You all right? - Yes! Fine! Why wouldn't I be?
0:19:40 > 0:19:44- Once the car's fixed we're going home.- What?- You heard.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Fan clubs are so naff. Who wants one?
0:19:46 > 0:19:48Until three minutes ago, you!
0:19:48 > 0:19:52Bunch of saddoes too stupid to get their own life!
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Think I found your problem.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58- Petrol tank's empty.- Oh, that's what the fuel gauge says, yes.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02- That's probably it, then. - No, the car was just serviced.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05The mechanic left me a note on the dashboard.
0:20:05 > 0:20:09Dear Mrs and Mr Fury, thanks for letting me service your car,
0:20:09 > 0:20:10it's a beauty.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14One thing I've noticed, your petrol gauge is playing up.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18When it says empty, it means full and vice versa.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22No problem, mate, we'll fix it when you get back from meeting Doreen,
0:20:22 > 0:20:24love, your mechanic.
0:20:24 > 0:20:29You actually read that note and you believed it?
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Well...
0:20:31 > 0:20:34How many mechanics send you their love?
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Alistair?
0:20:51 > 0:20:54There you go, Christine, organic apple juice.
0:20:54 > 0:20:55Very expensive!
0:20:55 > 0:20:59The crisps are hand-cut. Again, very expensive, but...
0:20:59 > 0:21:01I think you're worth it.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Have you got this download or not?
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Erm...yeah.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09I'll just go and get it.
0:21:10 > 0:21:11Be back in a sec!
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Don't go away now.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25- It's, like, 100 degree in here. - I'll just turn the thermostat down.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30Feel free to help yourself to a hand-cut crisp.
0:21:34 > 0:21:35FLIP!
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Bit of a problem with the thermostat.
0:21:40 > 0:21:41I'll open a window.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Help yourself to a drink.
0:21:50 > 0:21:51What's wrong?
0:21:51 > 0:21:53- Can't you open it?- Course I can!
0:21:54 > 0:21:57It might be better to watch it upstairs
0:21:57 > 0:21:58on the computer.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01In the snog room... Computer room.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04I'm fine here, thank you.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11Hi, Will. I've come in to pass on a message from mankind.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13You're a gigantic butthead!
0:22:13 > 0:22:17Sorry - small but very annoying problem to take care of.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Back in a sec. Alis! >
0:22:20 > 0:22:21Alis! >
0:22:28 > 0:22:30You are so finished, Alis!
0:22:35 > 0:22:38Oh, that is DISGUSTING!
0:22:39 > 0:22:44Congratulations, Stinky, you've just met Doris?
0:22:54 > 0:22:58You're going to be so sorry when I get my hands on you, Alis!
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Will? Are you in there?
0:23:47 > 0:23:50Look, I really need to use the toilet.
0:23:53 > 0:23:58Mum and Dad! I've totally misjudged the traffic on the A1!
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Take heart, fellow Revengers. Y'see?
0:24:02 > 0:24:06Even a genius like me can make a real mistake.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10But a good Revenger always expects the unexpected.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Aaron, tell Ralph to instigate Emergency Plan A.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15Emergency Plan A!
0:24:15 > 0:24:17Now get Mel into position!
0:24:17 > 0:24:20Mel, you're wanted on the phone, I think it's Rod!
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Alistair's gone too far this time...
0:24:28 > 0:24:31SHE SCREAMS
0:24:34 > 0:24:38Will! I really need to use the toilet!
0:24:38 > 0:24:40Erm...just a minute.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41NOW!!!
0:24:41 > 0:24:44SHE BANGS ON DOOR
0:24:43 > 0:24:44< Will!
0:24:44 > 0:24:47< I really need to get in there!
0:24:52 > 0:24:56- What sort of girl do you think I am?!- I can explain!
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Ow!
0:24:58 > 0:25:01SHE SCREAMS
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Don't tell everyone I'm a flasher!
0:25:05 > 0:25:06Mum?
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Dad? It's not what it looks like!
0:25:10 > 0:25:13- Argh!- Oh! Oh!
0:25:13 > 0:25:15William! Put...that away!
0:25:15 > 0:25:18Alis...Rod's not on the phone.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20What's going on?
0:25:23 > 0:25:25What on EARTH have you done to your face?!
0:25:25 > 0:25:27Oh, you're back! >
0:25:27 > 0:25:30Now, Will and Mel have been as good as gold!
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Alistair, I don't know, I haven't seen him.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36I'll give you my babysitting bill later!
0:25:36 > 0:25:38And put some pants on, woman!
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Oh!
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Yes!
0:25:43 > 0:25:46So that was it, fellow Revengers.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49Not only did the revenge work out perfectly,
0:25:49 > 0:25:53but Will's been in serious trouble for inviting Christine round,
0:25:53 > 0:25:56and waving his dangly bits all over the house,
0:25:56 > 0:26:01Mel's been grounded for having face surgery without permission,
0:26:01 > 0:26:05plus Mum's refusing to pay Granny any money on the basis
0:26:05 > 0:26:09that she's a drunken old bat who shouldn't be left in charge of a cat
0:26:09 > 0:26:12let alone vulnerable children like me.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15Yes! You heard right! Mum called me vulnerable!
0:26:15 > 0:26:16Cheers!
0:26:29 > 0:26:33Well, she's obviously not turning up, ladies, it's just plain rude.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37I'm gonna ring her, give her a piece of my mind.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40These celebrities! Think they're better than us!
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Hello?
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Is that Celia Fury?
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Oh, Alistair...
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Hello, Mum.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57I just thought I'd come in and tell you a story.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59I'm a bit old for that.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Oh, you'll like this one.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05It's about a woman... who went to see some people...
0:27:05 > 0:27:07in her fan club.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10But she never arrived,
0:27:10 > 0:27:16because she got a very...strange...phone call.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:23 > 0:27:24E-mail Subtitling@bbc.co.uk