0:00:07 > 0:00:12Fellow avengers, you are witness to a new era in vengeance, for...
0:00:13 > 0:00:16..in three hours time, we go in to publishing.
0:00:16 > 0:00:20# Oh, get her, get him Getting even ain't a sin
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# Sister Mel and brother Will Make 'em take a bitter pill
0:00:23 > 0:00:26- # Serve it up lukewarm - Lukewarm
0:00:26 > 0:00:29- # It's the sun before the storm - Before the storm
0:00:29 > 0:00:33# Oh look out world Your sandwich is cut
0:00:33 > 0:00:36# Your tea's gone cold And now you're getting old
0:00:36 > 0:00:39# You know the boy with the camera He's gonna scam ya
0:00:39 > 0:00:44# Harder than Stonehenge It's gonna be a mighty revenge. #
0:00:47 > 0:00:50'It all started when my evil brother William
0:00:50 > 0:00:54'shocked the world by getting a job delivering the local free paper.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57'The sun shone, the birds sang,
0:00:57 > 0:01:02'and joy and laughter lay behind every letterbox.'
0:01:06 > 0:01:09'Everything was going like a clockwork dream,
0:01:09 > 0:01:13'until William saw trouble ahead,
0:01:13 > 0:01:16'and this - purely by coincidence, of course -
0:01:16 > 0:01:18'was when he injured his ankle.'
0:01:18 > 0:01:20THUNDERCLAP
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Aargh! It's twisted! I think it might be broken!
0:01:24 > 0:01:25Pull the other one!
0:01:25 > 0:01:29What happened? How have you hurt yourself?
0:01:29 > 0:01:31There was a tortoise stuck up a tree,
0:01:31 > 0:01:34I didn't think, I rescued it!
0:01:34 > 0:01:37- That's my boy!- The branch snapped and we both came down.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40You might need a cast, crutches...
0:01:40 > 0:01:42- Oh, Sean!- It happens, Celia!
0:01:42 > 0:01:45A guy down the pub tripped over,
0:01:45 > 0:01:47ended up with two wooden legs!
0:01:47 > 0:01:50- I think it just needs rest, Dad. - How's the tortoise?
0:01:50 > 0:01:52A bit shell-shocked.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55- Well, there's nothing else for it. - AAARGH!
0:01:55 > 0:01:59- You'll rest until you're recovered. - If you say so.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02I'll take time off for as long as necessary
0:02:02 > 0:02:05- to nurse you back to health. - That's not necessary.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09- I can look after him. - There's no need to thank me.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12It's one of the sacrifices a father makes.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15THUNDER RUMBLES Put the kettle on, love.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18- What about your paper round? - I dunno.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22- I don't wanna let Chattages down. - You can't go back out.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25I need my... I mean, HE needs his rest.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27True.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31- We could line up a replacement paper boy.- Like who?
0:02:32 > 0:02:33I know!
0:02:34 > 0:02:38It's not fair! I've never even read a paper!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Why should I deliver them?!
0:02:40 > 0:02:45It's time you channelled your energies into something helpful.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Besides, you'll enjoy it!
0:02:47 > 0:02:52The fresh air, the exercise, the chance to make new friends...
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Lamb. Too traditional.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Veal. Too posh.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Octopus!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Too tentacle-y.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- Mum, I got bitten by a dog. - Alistair, please!
0:03:14 > 0:03:16You're dripping everywhere!
0:03:16 > 0:03:18I'm looking for recipes for the show.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22- You're always preparing. - This week there's an extra one -
0:03:22 > 0:03:26- a try-out for a different channel. - OK, but...
0:03:26 > 0:03:28It's a real channel, Alistair,
0:03:28 > 0:03:31where you don't need a £200 satellite mega-box.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33We're talking normal telly!
0:03:33 > 0:03:35- Through an aerial! - Fine, but...
0:03:35 > 0:03:39It's the break I've been waiting for. But I need a new angle.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43Jamie's got school dinners, Gordon's got swearing,
0:03:43 > 0:03:46I need something to keep people's attention,
0:03:46 > 0:03:51something that's gonna stop them from drifting off... Alistair?
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- SHE SIGHS - Ooh!
0:03:53 > 0:03:56- Mel, I got bitten by a dog...- Oh...!
0:03:56 > 0:03:58What's up with you?
0:03:58 > 0:04:01- It's Dave. - HE SIGHS
0:04:01 > 0:04:05Scaly Dave.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08He never shuts up about those tench. He's so boring!
0:04:08 > 0:04:11You know what this is? This is a tench.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14You know how you can tell? The markings.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16You know how else? The smell!
0:04:19 > 0:04:22I want someone with life experience.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25I think I've got pneumonia. And rabies.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29Don't be a drama queen. I've got real problems.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31THUNDER RUMBLES
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Morning, Alis. How was work?
0:04:33 > 0:04:37Horrible! I got bitten on the calf by a hamster,
0:04:37 > 0:04:39and bitten on the hamstring by a calf!
0:04:39 > 0:04:42You never told me there were so many animals!
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Hang on, you're injured!
0:04:44 > 0:04:49Me? No. I was just pretending so you'd have to do the round for me.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- It's called intelligence! - That's not fair!
0:04:52 > 0:04:55- Dad, Dad!- What? I'm just preparing some food
0:04:55 > 0:04:58for your brother. Help him get better.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02Not the beer. That's a kind of medicine for me.
0:05:02 > 0:05:06- He doesn't need to recover, there's nothing wrong with him!- What?
0:05:06 > 0:05:10He was on his feet a moment ago, kicking a cushion about.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12I don't think so.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- He's got a twisted ankle. - No, he hasn't!
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Of course he has. Why would you be doing his round?
0:05:18 > 0:05:22I can see a bright light. Should I go towards the light?
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Please. Shut the door behind you.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28THUNDER CRASHES You rest, son.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30There's all the time in the world.
0:05:30 > 0:05:34I've taken three weeks' leave, so you take it easy.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38He's putting it on! There's nothing wrong with him!
0:05:38 > 0:05:39WALTZ MUSIC PLAYS
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Ralph! Aaron! It's time to take action.
0:05:48 > 0:05:53My gentle nature has been pushed too far. When I say William's lying,
0:05:53 > 0:05:57'no-one believes me. I need a way to make people listen.'
0:05:57 > 0:06:00My dad's a vicar, people believe what HE says.
0:06:00 > 0:06:05- 'So, I should become a vicar?' - Er, no. You need qualifications.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Plus you wear a dress. I could ask Dad to do a sermon
0:06:08 > 0:06:12- on how evil William is.- 'But how do I make him believe me?'
0:06:12 > 0:06:17- Mr E!- 'My dog?'- You want Alistair's dog to talk to my father?
0:06:17 > 0:06:20No. We train the dog to attack William.
0:06:20 > 0:06:25He will have to run away. Then everyone will see he's a faker.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34All right, Mr E, pay close attention.
0:06:34 > 0:06:39This sock belongs to the target, Mr William Fury.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Imagine his leg
0:06:42 > 0:06:44is this dog biscuit.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Now...
0:06:48 > 0:06:51- Attack!- Go! Go! Go!
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Go! Go! Go!
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Didn't work. Let's try something else.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59This is William.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02This is food.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08Eat William Fury! Tear him to bits!
0:07:11 > 0:07:12Stupid dog!
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Four hours, and he still couldn't do it.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23We needed another way to spread the news.
0:07:23 > 0:07:24That's when it hit me.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30People believe what they read in the paper!
0:07:30 > 0:07:32So we made our own paper.
0:07:32 > 0:07:37Or, to be precise, our own page to insert into the real paper,
0:07:37 > 0:07:42to tell the world the truth about William's fake injury.
0:07:42 > 0:07:43Meet the staff.
0:07:46 > 0:07:51There's Misri, the technical whiz. He does all the printing.
0:07:51 > 0:07:52Excuse me, Alistair...
0:07:52 > 0:07:57There's Sanjay, he eats chocolate and makes sure Misri doesn't escape.
0:07:57 > 0:08:01And there's Aaron and Ralph, the intrepid paparazzi.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03The men who gather my evidence.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13TV COMES ON
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Just like the real thing!
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Well done, Misri. Excellent day's work.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40Sure about these stories about your brother?
0:08:40 > 0:08:44- It seems a little bit unfair. - Unfair?! Me?!
0:08:44 > 0:08:47It's not personal. It's the press' responsibility
0:08:47 > 0:08:50to print the truth, no matter what.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52It's what makes us a free society.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56But is it right to be nasty about one person...?
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Now, to get these babies delivered.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Can't wait to see what Mum and Dad'll do to him!
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Please, no! Dad...!
0:09:07 > 0:09:11- So disappointed in you. - You're no son of mine!
0:09:11 > 0:09:15Dad, no, please! I'm really sorry!
0:09:17 > 0:09:19This is terrible!
0:09:19 > 0:09:22I can't believe you'd do this to your brother!
0:09:23 > 0:09:28- Me? What have I done?- Putting these stories through everyone's door!
0:09:28 > 0:09:31But they're true! He was faking!
0:09:31 > 0:09:34How do you know these weren't real pages?
0:09:34 > 0:09:38Real papers don't say, "Big brothers are smelly fatheads."
0:09:38 > 0:09:41And your spelling. There's one L in "malingering".
0:09:41 > 0:09:45- Not six.- We're gonna have to do something about this.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48- Extra spelling lessons. - I mean his attitude.
0:09:48 > 0:09:53What is it? What drives you to behave in such an anti-social way?
0:09:53 > 0:09:59- He does!- Channel your energies into something more helpful.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Helpful? I'm doing his paper round for free.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06I think the best punishment for you
0:10:06 > 0:10:10would be to do a good deed for each one of us
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- to show you the value of being nice!- WHAT?!
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Good idea. It's the only way.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20I want you each to choose a favour that Alistair can do.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22William.
0:10:22 > 0:10:23Erm...
0:10:23 > 0:10:27Yeah, I know what you can do for me, Alis.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40This apple juice is corked, Alistair! Take it back!
0:10:42 > 0:10:48Sean. What could Alistair do for you to lighten your heavy burden?
0:10:48 > 0:10:52That's a difficult one. I'm not used to thinking of myself.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55I usually help everyone else with their problems.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58OK. Melanie, what could Alistair do for you?
0:10:58 > 0:11:02- Erm... Dump my boyfriend. - What?- Yeah.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06Ditch Dave for me. I've had it up to here with his flippin' fish.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10- I don't know how to. - It's time you found out.
0:11:10 > 0:11:15- Why? I don't WANT a boyfriend. - Just say something like...
0:11:15 > 0:11:17It's just not really working.
0:11:17 > 0:11:22Mel needs space to find herself. She's not ready for a commitment.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- It's not you, it's her. - It's the tench.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26She doesn't like the tench!
0:11:26 > 0:11:29There are three people in this relationship.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32- Well, two people and a fish. - But I love her!
0:11:32 > 0:11:34I can't bear to be without her!
0:11:34 > 0:11:37I really like Mel too!
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Sorry, Dave. This is the way things have to be.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42- HE SOBS - Don't be like that.
0:11:42 > 0:11:46- There's plenty more fish in the sea. - HE WAILS
0:11:46 > 0:11:50So, I suppose that only really leaves me, doesn't it?
0:11:50 > 0:11:53I don't want you to do any favours for me.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57Ooh! Except.. Perhaps there is one little thing.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59It's not even a favour, really.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03For tomorrow's show, the one for the proper telly,
0:12:03 > 0:12:06I've come up with my new angle -
0:12:06 > 0:12:07poverty.
0:12:07 > 0:12:08You what?
0:12:08 > 0:12:12I'm going to cook food and give it to poor people.
0:12:12 > 0:12:17It'll make me seem more relevant, more socially conscious.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21- What's that got to do with me? - Well, you've got a poor friend.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24- 'Arry or something? - Aaron.- That's him.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28Poor little mite! Bring him along to be a taster.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32It'll be fun! And it'll put some food in his empty belly.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35- That's a bad idea. - Don't patronise me.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39Just send your hungry friend along to be fed.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42AGITATED SHOUTING
0:12:53 > 0:12:57She said what? "Send your hungry friend to be fed"?!
0:12:57 > 0:13:00I know, you're not a charity case.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03It's not that. Your mum's food, it's disgusting.
0:13:03 > 0:13:09We could slip one of Scaly Dave's tench into your parents' wardrobe.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12- It'll bite them! - It can't, it's not alive.
0:13:12 > 0:13:16OK. So, you put a live fish in their wardrobe,
0:13:16 > 0:13:19in a tank. That might bite them.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22- But why would they put their hands in a tank?- We put a sign on.
0:13:22 > 0:13:26- "These fish do not bite." - Would they believe it?
0:13:26 > 0:13:29- It doesn't matter. Fish can't read.- What?!
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Look, I need a revenge they can't criticize me for.
0:13:32 > 0:13:37- A good revenge. A helpful revenge. - Like, a charity revenge?
0:13:39 > 0:13:44- Yes!- A socially-conscious revenge!- Precisely.
0:13:46 > 0:13:51If Mum wants to feed the hungry, we'll send her the hungry.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56- This looks like the place. You got the leaflets?- Got them.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03Free food and a warm place to stay!
0:14:03 > 0:14:06- All welcome!- Arrive 7:00! 7:00 sharp!
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Remember, it's that little twist of grapefruit
0:14:20 > 0:14:22that gives an eel an extra oomph.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24- KNOCK AT DOOR - What's that?
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Sounds like I've got a hungry mouth to feed!
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Come on in, 'Arry!
0:14:31 > 0:14:32Oh!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Evening, love.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37- We heard there was free grub?- Um...
0:14:38 > 0:14:42- Ah... Slice of eel, anyone?- Mmm!
0:14:42 > 0:14:46The operation isn't going quite to plan.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50I'm hoping for people a bit more toothless. A bit smellier!
0:14:51 > 0:14:53FLIES BUZZ
0:14:59 > 0:15:02Still, Mum'll hate having them in her kitchen,
0:15:02 > 0:15:04disrupting her show.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19This is lovely, Celia. Really exquisite.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23I think you could use a bit less grapefruit.
0:15:23 > 0:15:28- Do you?- Mmm. It's fighting with the eel.- Mmm.- Instead,
0:15:28 > 0:15:32- maybe try a touch of paprika. - Some mint would really set it off.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35This is the first meal I've had in a week.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Cheers, it's fantastic.
0:15:37 > 0:15:43And...cut! That was fantastic, guys, best show we've done in ages.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46APPLAUSE
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Not going quite as planned.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54But at least the rest of the family won't like it.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58- So, do you actually sleep out on the streets?- Some nights, yeah.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01It's rough. You have to get used to it.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Most guys I meet have no experience.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06But you, you must have seen some awful things.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09Yah. I don't really like to talk about them.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11No. But I do.
0:16:11 > 0:16:18Sean, try this. I got it off a Chinese sailor at Liverpool Docks.
0:16:18 > 0:16:22Tell me, Tommy, where did you develop this taste for good food?
0:16:22 > 0:16:25I worked as a butler for a while -
0:16:25 > 0:16:28can't be too specific.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32Let's just say, she's on stamps.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33Really?
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Would you like to be on the show again? Next week?
0:16:37 > 0:16:42I'm thinking of sourcing my ingredients from actual skips.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46# Oh Danny boy
0:16:46 > 0:16:51# The pipes, the pipes are calling... #
0:16:51 > 0:16:56OK, so, the homeless men are nice, Mum's show's gone well,
0:16:56 > 0:16:59and the rest of the family like them!
0:16:59 > 0:17:02But wait until they stay overnight!
0:17:02 > 0:17:06That'll cause problems, won't it? Please!
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Have you thought about where they'll sleep?
0:17:09 > 0:17:11BOTH: Alistair's room!
0:17:11 > 0:17:12That was my thought.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16But it's small, I'm not sure three people will fit.
0:17:16 > 0:17:17Hmm...
0:17:17 > 0:17:21Hello, Revengers. Things have gone badly wrong.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24I'm sharing my bedroom, not with the homeless -
0:17:24 > 0:17:27I could deal with that - but with my family.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29They've given up their rooms
0:17:29 > 0:17:34and moved in with me. This can no longer be tolerated.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Since the homeless men won't make a mess and do their jobs,
0:17:37 > 0:17:41I've arranged for visitors to do it for them.
0:17:41 > 0:17:46Silent, stealthy visitors who will come like a whisper in the night.
0:17:46 > 0:17:50- CRASH! - Oh!
0:17:50 > 0:17:53- Be careful! - We're supposed to be making a mess!
0:17:53 > 0:17:56Yeah, but a quiet mess, not a noisy mess!
0:17:56 > 0:18:00- You should shut your mouth! - You should shut yours!
0:18:16 > 0:18:20- You're up early, Alistair. - It's a bright new day, Mum.
0:18:20 > 0:18:24- Imagine what surprises it will bring.- If you say so.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27Here it comes! One, two, three...!
0:18:27 > 0:18:31- Oh, lovely!- Eh?
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Did you do this, Tommy?
0:18:33 > 0:18:38I took the liberty. Had a whizz round with the vacuum cleaner too.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42You see? This is what I mean about helping out.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44I'd like to see this attitude from you.
0:18:44 > 0:18:48- Milk, or lemon tea, ma'am? - Lemon, lovely...
0:18:55 > 0:18:59- How did everybody sleep? Well, I hope.- Not me.
0:18:59 > 0:19:05- Alis, your mattress is like a pile of elbows!- I didn't sleep either.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09HE SNORES LOUDLY
0:19:11 > 0:19:14Perhaps I can cheer you all up...
0:19:15 > 0:19:17..with a full English breakfast.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21ALL: Wow!
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Look at this! With cups and saucers!
0:19:28 > 0:19:32Celia! Celia! There you are! Oh, fabulous news!
0:19:32 > 0:19:37The TV channel absolutely love you, and the new show!
0:19:37 > 0:19:41- The proper channel?- Yes - last night's show with the hobos...
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- Good morning. - ...the homeless gentlemen...
0:19:44 > 0:19:50..was the angle they were after - a food show with a social conscience.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53We'll make Jamie Oliver look like Sweeney Todd!
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Well done. Great idea to invite them!
0:19:56 > 0:19:59And, while these...men are staying here,
0:19:59 > 0:20:04the proper channel will pay for the entire Fury family
0:20:04 > 0:20:07- to find alternative accommodation. - Where?
0:20:07 > 0:20:13Hotel Magnifico! Five-star luxury for the whole Fury family...
0:20:13 > 0:20:16- ALL CHEER - Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
0:20:16 > 0:20:19- ..apart from Alistair.- What?!
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Aw(!)
0:20:22 > 0:20:26It doesn't extend to you, you didn't give up your room!
0:20:26 > 0:20:29- I did!- No, Alis. Me, Will, Mum and Dad did.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31You have to find somewhere else.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34- CAR HORN BEEPS - The limo...- ALL: Limo?
0:20:34 > 0:20:37- ..to take you to the helicopter.- Wow!
0:20:37 > 0:20:40William should be the one to stay!
0:20:40 > 0:20:43- He's injured! He shouldn't be moved! - That's a good point.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Yeah.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Yeah, maybe I ought to stay behind.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51But wait a minute...
0:20:53 > 0:20:57Hallelujah! It's a miracle! I'm cured!
0:20:58 > 0:20:59Yay!
0:21:02 > 0:21:06It's not fair! He wasn't injured in the first place!
0:21:06 > 0:21:09I hate them all! Mum told me to stay with Aaron,
0:21:09 > 0:21:12but his mum said I couldn't - she said it was me
0:21:12 > 0:21:16who told him to put a live fish in her wardrobe.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20So I'm home alone. This injustice calls for a mega-revenge.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24- A revenge to top all revenges. - KNOCK AT DOOR
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Your refreshments, Mr Fury.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Oh, right. Thanks.
0:21:33 > 0:21:34As I was saying,
0:21:34 > 0:21:38this calls for the greatest revenge in history.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Actually, that's quite nice.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49Mmm. How's that curry coming along, Tommy?
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Could be one of my better ones.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57- I've come to wash my mug. - No problems, I've got it.
0:21:59 > 0:22:03- I should do my chores.- No need, Mr Fury. It's all taken care of.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07- Oh, right. Thanks.- Yes! Yes, stay! You gonna stay...?
0:22:07 > 0:22:11- You teaching my dog tricks? - Yeah, it's a great dog, this.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15Clever, lots of potential. Just needs mental stimulation.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18Clever Mr E!
0:22:22 > 0:22:26Who's a good Mr E? To the left! And to the right! Stay...!
0:22:30 > 0:22:35Plans for getting my family out of that disgustingly nice hotel,
0:22:35 > 0:22:38back into this disgustingly disgusting house.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Steve suggests we set off the fire alarms.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Emma from Newport, "Put something in the water."
0:22:44 > 0:22:49- Laxatives?- Crocodiles should have the same effect.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53- SNUFFLING - Aw, look at Mr E! Isn't that cute?
0:22:53 > 0:22:57This dog's got so clever since Jim moved in.
0:22:57 > 0:23:01The best way to get my family back is to hire a hot-air balloon,
0:23:01 > 0:23:06- fill it with gerbils.- Alistair, do you really want your family back?
0:23:06 > 0:23:10- What?- The house is a nicer place without them. You seem happier.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14- Your dog just brought you biscuits. - Never thought of it that way.
0:23:14 > 0:23:18These men are the best family I've ever had.
0:23:18 > 0:23:23Forget the Furys. They can rot in that luxury hotel for all I care.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Gentlemen, today's revenge is cancelled.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39- Lovely morning, ain't it, chaps? - Mmm. Sure is.
0:23:39 > 0:23:43Oh, Al, I thought I could take Mr E for a run in the park later.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- Do you fancy it? - Sounds good.- Cool.
0:23:46 > 0:23:51Ah, Tommy, there you are. I'll have hot milk on my cereal this morning.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53What exactly do you call this?
0:23:54 > 0:23:58- What?- Page 6a.
0:23:58 > 0:24:03"Local boy Alistair Fury this week scattered rubbish
0:24:03 > 0:24:10"all over his house to make his homeless guests seem like slobs."
0:24:12 > 0:24:15- I don't, I mean... I... - How could you?!
0:24:15 > 0:24:17After we've been so good to you?
0:24:17 > 0:24:20I taught your dog all them tricks.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Tommy made you all those lovely biscuits.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26I thought we'd found a home here, boys,
0:24:26 > 0:24:29but, no, it's just like everywhere else.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32- I'm... I'm sorry, I mean... - Come on, lads.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35I know where we're NOT wanted.
0:24:42 > 0:24:46- DOOR SLAMS - Who has the technical ability to...?
0:24:52 > 0:24:56- Misri?- Hello.- Did you do this?
0:24:56 > 0:24:59- Yes. And I used spell-checker this week.- But why?
0:24:59 > 0:25:02So the words are spelled correctly.
0:25:02 > 0:25:08- Why did you print this?- You said it's the press' responsibility to...
0:25:08 > 0:25:11..print the truth, no matter. It makes us...
0:25:11 > 0:25:16- ..a free society.- I didn't mean it. Print the truth, but not about me.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18He's already done next week's,
0:25:18 > 0:25:23about your love triangle with a boy and a fish.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25So, our little holiday's over.
0:25:25 > 0:25:29I've lost my new family, and, even worse,
0:25:29 > 0:25:31- got the old one back. - DOOR CLOSES
0:25:31 > 0:25:32Alistair!
0:25:34 > 0:25:36Alistair?
0:25:36 > 0:25:40- Alistair!- Punish him, Dad! He drove away Jim!
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Brave Jim. The only man I could ever love!
0:25:43 > 0:25:45He had us moved out of the hotel!
0:25:45 > 0:25:50They had Global Sports III! I'm gonna miss the curling finals!
0:25:50 > 0:25:54Everything's always about curling with you, Sean!
0:25:54 > 0:25:57What about me? I've lost my one shot at real telly!
0:25:57 > 0:26:01Cast back to the wilderness of the Wife Style Channel!
0:26:01 > 0:26:05600 viewers a week, and that includes prisons!
0:26:05 > 0:26:09At least everyone's unhappy, and William's stopped pretending,
0:26:09 > 0:26:13so he gets his job back, no more paper round for me!
0:26:13 > 0:26:14Alistair!
0:26:16 > 0:26:17Alis!
0:26:17 > 0:26:20You're in big trouble, Alis!
0:26:20 > 0:26:22"Imagine his leg..."
0:26:22 > 0:26:24is this dog biscuit.
0:26:24 > 0:26:28- "Now, attack!" - All right, Mr E? How's it hanging?
0:26:28 > 0:26:29"Go! Go! Go!"
0:26:29 > 0:26:32- Mr E! Get off, please...! - DOG GROWLS
0:26:32 > 0:26:35MR E CHOMPS, WILL SCREAMS
0:26:39 > 0:26:40No, wait! It hurts!
0:26:40 > 0:26:43MUM: What's the matter? What's happened?
0:26:43 > 0:26:46MEL: That's disgusting! What's he done to it?
0:26:46 > 0:26:49It's obvious, he's broken it.
0:26:49 > 0:26:53Could be out of action for weeks. I'll book some time off.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55That's just great(!)
0:26:58 > 0:27:01THUNDER ROARS
0:27:14 > 0:27:17Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:17 > 0:27:19E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk