0:00:02 > 0:00:05Welcome to The Revolting World of Stanley Brown.
0:00:05 > 0:00:06Go, science!
0:00:08 > 0:00:09Achoo!
0:00:09 > 0:00:11Sick.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Stanley is going to be the world's greatest scientist.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15Whoa!
0:00:15 > 0:00:18It's just that he doesn't know that yet.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20This is his next door neighbour, Jess.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22And his best friend, Mike.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25And here's Archie.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28I'm your great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandson.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31From the future. I'm invisible.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35And I'm invisible, too. I'm Olivia, Archie's incredible robot assistant.
0:00:35 > 0:00:39We've come back in time to make sure that Stanley keeps up his
0:00:39 > 0:00:43revolting experiments and becomes the greatest scientist ever known.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55Juicinator test number 27 ready to go.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Prepare to witness greatness, Jess.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00I've heard that before. 26 times.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03All right, so there's been one or two teething problems.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14But this time it's going to work. I've cracked it.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Oh, no! I've cracked it.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18You could just pay up now.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20I'm not paying up, I'm going to win the bet.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Stanley, you will never burp louder than me.
0:01:23 > 0:01:24Yes, I will.
0:01:27 > 0:01:32Buuuuuurp!
0:01:36 > 0:01:40Not bad, but I can beat it, with this.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42And, the world's burpiest drink.
0:01:44 > 0:01:45Just watch.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51# Oh, yeah, oh, yeah Who the man? I the man. #
0:01:51 > 0:01:52I'm going to be on TV.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55You've Been Framed are showing the video of you falling off your bike?
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- What video?- The one with your head stuck in a bucket.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02Have you been filming me in case I have accidents?
0:02:02 > 0:02:04No.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07So, how will you be on telly if it's not by hilariously hurting yourself?
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Well, the local news are doing a feature on local heroes,
0:02:10 > 0:02:12- and they picked me.- Why?
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Cos of Operation Fluffy, when I rescued Mrs Wilson's cat from that
0:02:15 > 0:02:18enemy tree. They're coming to interview me about it tomorrow.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21I am going to be famous.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24- Have you practised your interview technique?- My what now?
0:02:24 > 0:02:27These guys don't mess around, Mike, they play hardball.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31Couple of nice questions to soften you up and...bang!
0:02:31 > 0:02:33- They've got you. - It's only about rescuing a cat.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38So, tell me about this cat.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Well, he's black and he's called Fluffy.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44Lovely. And were you just walking along when you heard him
0:02:44 > 0:02:46crying for help?
0:02:46 > 0:02:48- Well, no.- No? Then where were you?
0:02:48 > 0:02:50- Well, I was already up the... - You were already up the tree?
0:02:50 > 0:02:54- Why? Was it your tree? - Well, not exactly.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56So you were trespassing? You were tree-passing.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59- My ball was up there, I... - Did you even rescue the cat at all?
0:02:59 > 0:03:01He jumped on my face and I sort of fell.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05You were fighting a cat? You monster!
0:03:05 > 0:03:07- He was just frightened. - Well, of course he was.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11You're a liar, a trespasser and an animal-napper.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14You're everything that's wrong with the youth of this country.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Aren't you? Aren't you?
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Aaaaggh!
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Needs to work on his technique.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26Stanley, you've got to help me practise. They'll eat me alive.
0:03:26 > 0:03:27I'll help you.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33- Stanley, please!- I don't know, Mike, I really haven't got the time,
0:03:33 > 0:03:35there's something wrong with the juicinator and...
0:03:35 > 0:03:38I'll help you, I'll even test the juice. Go on, Stanley, you're
0:03:38 > 0:03:42a genius, if anyone can make me look good on TV, you can.
0:03:45 > 0:03:46Classic!
0:03:54 > 0:03:56So, I drink that and then...?
0:03:56 > 0:04:00You do a massive burp. And then we'll prepare for your interview.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04All the greats burp pre-interview. Beckham, J-Lo...
0:04:04 > 0:04:05Biggins.
0:04:07 > 0:04:08Are you sure it's safe?
0:04:08 > 0:04:10No, that's why I'm testing it on you.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Of course it's safe.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16Ish.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23Uh...
0:04:23 > 0:04:27- How would you describe the taste? - Runny compost heap.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29OK, forget the taste, give me a burp.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34SILENCE
0:04:34 > 0:04:38Sorry. If it helps, I think it made my left kidney fart.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42Maybe I should drink some more. HE HICCUPS
0:04:42 > 0:04:47Hiccups! That's totally wrong. What's up with this machine?
0:04:47 > 0:04:49So? Can we practise for the telly now?
0:04:49 > 0:04:51In a while.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54I need to think. I'm never going to beat Jess at this rate.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Time's running out. Oh, wait. What was that?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02That's right, it was your loudest burp.
0:05:02 > 0:05:07Ah, so, I just had a call from a TV crew saying they're coming to
0:05:07 > 0:05:11interview Mike in an hour. Couple of questions, who, why, what?
0:05:11 > 0:05:14- What, Mum?- Today? They're coming today?
0:05:14 > 0:05:16HE HICCUPS Why?
0:05:16 > 0:05:18More to the point, why are they coming here?
0:05:18 > 0:05:20You do still live somewhere else don't you, Mike?
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Yeah, but Mum doesn't like strangers in the house,
0:05:23 > 0:05:24she thinks they're dirty.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26MACHINE BUZZES
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- And what is that? - Just a lovely sculpture...
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Oh!
0:05:31 > 0:05:33..that sprays stinking liquid
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Stanley!
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Mum, chill, you don't have to worry about me, you have to worry
0:05:38 > 0:05:43about the TV crew that's arriving in an hour. Is the house tidy?
0:05:44 > 0:05:47We're going to need flowers. Lots of flowers.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52I will out-burp you!
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Take your time.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57Hiccup! But the TV crew, my interview technique.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Come on, guys. Hiccup!
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Am I the only one freaking out here?
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Aaaaah!
0:06:04 > 0:06:07A TV crew? Here?
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Yep.
0:06:08 > 0:06:13Aaaaahh!
0:06:15 > 0:06:17MACHINE WHIRRS
0:06:20 > 0:06:21Oh, hi, Archie.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24- Is this it? Has it started?- What?
0:06:24 > 0:06:27The great cataclysm! I wasn't allowed to warn you about it,
0:06:27 > 0:06:30but now the screaming's begun, we must find shelter. Come on!
0:06:30 > 0:06:35- But it's just Steph screaming about the TV people.- Oh, right.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39What's this about a cataclysm?
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Ah, nothing, forget I said anything. What's this?
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Oh. I'm supposed to make a really burpy drink but...
0:06:45 > 0:06:48The juicinator? This is the first juicinator?
0:06:48 > 0:06:51- You've heard of it? - Heard of it?
0:06:51 > 0:06:55It revolutionises belching. You wait for the juicinator 5,000.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59The juicinator with multi-burpose use, great product.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Brilliant, I want to make a really massive burp,
0:07:01 > 0:07:04for scientific reasons, obviously.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06But there's something missing.
0:07:06 > 0:07:11Oh, let me help, I love burps. Cabbagey ones, eggy ones,
0:07:11 > 0:07:15cheesy ones, they're all amazing. Look at this. Olivia?
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Yes, that's my name, don't wear it out.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Burps! Everywhere you go, the world is full of big, stinky belches.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29Did you know, when we eat and drink we also swallow air?
0:07:29 > 0:07:31The more we swallow the more our stomach fills up.
0:07:31 > 0:07:35It has to go somewhere and your body certainly doesn't want it,
0:07:35 > 0:07:37so up it goes, back where it came from,
0:07:37 > 0:07:40up your throat and into someone's face.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44Burps aren't all fun, oh, no. Normally, your food
0:07:44 > 0:07:47stays at the bottom of your stomach and the air at the top.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51But if you're in space, it would all float around mixed up together,
0:07:51 > 0:07:54which means that when astronauts burp...
0:07:54 > 0:08:00Ah, Houston we have a problem. I've just barfed in my helmet.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Cool.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05So, the more gas I get into my stomach,
0:08:05 > 0:08:08the bigger the burp when it comes out?
0:08:08 > 0:08:09Fizziness!
0:08:09 > 0:08:12Fiz is just gas bubbles in a drink.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15I'm going to make the fizziest drink ever.
0:08:30 > 0:08:31Are we opening a florist?
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Ha-ha, are you auditioning for My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding?
0:08:34 > 0:08:36This is extremely fashionable
0:08:36 > 0:08:38and it was just something I was going to wear anyway.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41You realise they're not going to interview you, don't you?
0:08:41 > 0:08:42You never know. After all, for years
0:08:42 > 0:08:45I've been a friend and close mentor to...
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Don't tell me, don't tell me.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50- Mike?- That's him.
0:08:50 > 0:08:51DOORBELL RINGS
0:08:52 > 0:08:54They're here.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Ooh! It's the local news team with Sarah Stripe!
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Wow. I used to go to school with her.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Come off it, she's way younger than you.
0:09:03 > 0:09:04I mean...
0:09:04 > 0:09:08Well, we were friends. Well...friendly-ish.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Well, she flushed my head down the toilet now and again,
0:09:11 > 0:09:16stole my boyfriend, yeah, and my best friend. And, actually,
0:09:16 > 0:09:19most of my friends, yeah. But you know that was in the past,
0:09:19 > 0:09:20totally over it now.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Unclench, Mum.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28DOORBELL RINGS
0:09:28 > 0:09:29I'll get it.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39Hi, Sarah. Hello, Sarah.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41No.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Oh, hi, Sarah I didn't see you there, oh, this magazine, yeah,
0:09:46 > 0:09:52I borrowed it from a friend, only one of many, I've got loads.
0:09:52 > 0:09:53Oh, no.
0:09:55 > 0:09:56Oh, what's this?
0:09:56 > 0:10:00It's my swimming certificate. You didn't get one of these, did you?
0:10:00 > 0:10:05of course... I did spend a lot of time underwater thanks to you, oh.
0:10:08 > 0:10:12Oh, your home is really, well,
0:10:12 > 0:10:13I can see you're trying your best.
0:10:13 > 0:10:18It'll look good for the story, it's earthy, dingy...
0:10:18 > 0:10:23Local boy from impoverished world saves cat despite wallpaper.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Ah, Sarah, hi, long time.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31It's me Amanda, Amanda Billings. 43 The Cuttings.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33We went to school together for six years.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36You borrowed my homework every morning by force.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42You "borrowed" my dinner money, all of it,
0:10:42 > 0:10:44so that I didn't have anything to eat.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48I was friends with Jane Heskith for a little while.
0:10:48 > 0:10:53Oh, yes, of course! Amanda, how nice to see you again.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57This one thinks we went to school together, stalker alert.
0:11:05 > 0:11:09They're here already. Man, they move fast, like a...like a...
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Cat off a tree?
0:11:11 > 0:11:15I've got the hiccups and no interview technique. What am I going to do?
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Look stupid on TV?
0:11:17 > 0:11:19I need Stanley.
0:11:19 > 0:11:23Stanley doesn't care about you, Mike, he only cares about burps,
0:11:23 > 0:11:25you have to accept that.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28This is going to be the fizziest drink ever, colier than cola,
0:11:28 > 0:11:29lemonadier than lemonade,
0:11:29 > 0:11:33milkier than... I'm forgetting fizzy milk hasn't caught on yet.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37Don't worry, Jess is here. Jess with a book. It's a good thing,
0:11:37 > 0:11:39you'll like it.
0:11:40 > 0:11:45Look, between hair-moulting and horrendous nasal seepage, hiccups.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48It says here there's a muscle under your lungs called the diaphragm,
0:11:48 > 0:11:51that's what pulls in all the air when you breathe.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53A hiccup is when it starts twitching,
0:11:53 > 0:11:55usually cos other organs irritate it.
0:11:58 > 0:12:03Day 4,006 and tensions are high.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Hey, stomach! Shift over! Some of us
0:12:06 > 0:12:09are trying to suck air into the lungs, here.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13Don't blame me, it's Brian's fault for drinking too much
0:12:13 > 0:12:16too quickly, I'm all swollen up.
0:12:16 > 0:12:20Yeah, leave him alone. You're always giving it, "Oh, look at me,
0:12:20 > 0:12:23"I'm the diaphragm, I'm a thin sheet of muscle at the bottom
0:12:23 > 0:12:26"of the rib cage." Well, blah, blah, blah.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Oi! Lay off the diaphragm, kidneys.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32You want some, eh, lungs? You want some?
0:12:32 > 0:12:37There's two of us and...all right, two of you.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41Will both of you shut up? I'm trying to digest here.
0:12:41 > 0:12:42You shut up and give me some room,
0:12:42 > 0:12:47I'm starting to get really irritated!
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Irritated, is it, now? I'll make you irritated!
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Urgh!
0:12:59 > 0:13:01So, all we need to do is stop your stomach
0:13:01 > 0:13:03from irritating your diaphragm.
0:13:03 > 0:13:04How do we do that?
0:13:05 > 0:13:06A Karate chop!
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Aaaaaah!
0:13:13 > 0:13:17She hasn't changed, she's still as horrible as she always was.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20Lucky some of us are grown up so we can just let it go.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Roger that! If you could step to one side, please.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25We need this area for storage.
0:13:25 > 0:13:26But... What?
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Sarah's letting me do work experience for the day,
0:13:31 > 0:13:33this could be my big break into telly.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36- What about my flowers? - Yeah, no-one needs them, I'm afraid,
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- we're worried they'll clash with Miss Stripe's outfit.- I see.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43And Miss Stripe has asked if you could stay out of the front room
0:13:43 > 0:13:47as, no disrespect, you've kind of got some weird obsession with her.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49I better go get Mike.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Pump it, pump up the fizz, come on, more!
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Nearly there! Oh, this is going to be the fizziest drink ever.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Stanley, help! Stop her!
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Mike, if you don't want to be chopped in the stomach,
0:14:04 > 0:14:05you can just say.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09- Don't chop me in the stomach! - OK. A kick, then?
0:14:09 > 0:14:10Arrggh!
0:14:10 > 0:14:13That's it, maximum fizz. Quick, load up the juice,
0:14:13 > 0:14:14she's not going to hold for ever.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Please, Stanley, you cure me, not her.
0:14:16 > 0:14:20But I'm so close, there's no time, and I can't let Jess beat me.
0:14:20 > 0:14:21Come on, Stanley, hurry up!
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Told you he didn't care about you, Mike.
0:14:23 > 0:14:28OK. Well, I guess... Hiccup! ..burps are pretty important.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30She's not going to hold much longer!
0:14:30 > 0:14:31Just one minute.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Right, which one of you is Mike?
0:14:34 > 0:14:38The one that isn't your brother or a girl.
0:14:38 > 0:14:39Right, we're going to need you in
0:14:39 > 0:14:42the living room ASAP we're going live in 20. Come on.
0:14:42 > 0:14:43But...hiccup.
0:14:44 > 0:14:50Stanley, I think you need to go with what's most important here.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Don't worry, Stanley, you made the right decision.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Of course you want to beat me more than help your friend Mike.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05I meant the juicinator, the juicinator's most important!
0:15:05 > 0:15:07I know loads of Mikes.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09BANG
0:15:21 > 0:15:25Oh, yes, and the bet's in the bag. Time is running out, Stanley Brown.
0:15:29 > 0:15:30HE HICCUPS
0:15:30 > 0:15:33Not sure about the hiccups, they won't play well
0:15:33 > 0:15:35- with our demographic. - Just borrow this, won't be a second.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37That is so unprofessional!
0:15:44 > 0:15:49So, Sarah Stripe. What's going on there, eh?
0:15:49 > 0:15:52I mean, you know, she looks happy and successful
0:15:52 > 0:15:55but I bet it's just a mask, isn't it?
0:15:55 > 0:15:57I bet she's not as happy as me, is she?
0:15:57 > 0:16:00I bet she's all twisted up and miserable inside, isn't she?
0:16:00 > 0:16:04Bet she feels guilty, as well, for everything she ever did to me.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09Why aren't you answering? Are you afraid of her?
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Yeah? Did she flush your head down the toilet, as well?
0:16:11 > 0:16:13We could form a group.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15You! Stop that. Out!
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Out!
0:16:21 > 0:16:25Can't we lock her up or something? And where's this Mike boy?
0:16:25 > 0:16:27KNOCK AT DOOR
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Stanley! Stanley, give him back!
0:16:29 > 0:16:33Please don't let her take me. The hiccups... The demographic!
0:16:33 > 0:16:36It's OK. There's bound to be a cure for hiccups.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38We just need a bit of time to find it.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41But there is no time! She's coming for me.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Stanley, open the door immediately.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45# Hickory, dickory, dock
0:16:45 > 0:16:47# Have you taken a look at the clock? #
0:16:47 > 0:16:49OK, so, Sarah wants to meet you.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54I've got an idea that'll buy us a few minutes.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Stanley, I want Mike, now!
0:16:59 > 0:17:00OK.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09What is that?
0:17:09 > 0:17:13It's Mike. Better take him to meet Sarah, hurry up.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15If you thought that was going to fool me
0:17:15 > 0:17:18for one second, you're dumber than I thought.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21I don't think we'll fool you, Steph. I think we'll fool Sarah,
0:17:21 > 0:17:23she's never seen Mike.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Yes, but I'm certain she's seen a boy before.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28I'm not taking her in.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31Really, Steph? You sure? I mean,
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Sarah sent you over here with the simplest task
0:17:33 > 0:17:36of getting Mike. How is it going to look if you can't even do that?
0:17:36 > 0:17:39- Pretty rubbish, I'd say.- Yeah.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41She'll probably fire you from your unpaid job
0:17:41 > 0:17:44and you'll never get to do work experience in local TV again.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47That'd be such a shame.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51She's just a stand-in until I can cure Mike's hiccups,
0:17:51 > 0:17:52then we'll swap them back.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55I'm going to get you for this, Stanley Brown.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Come on then, "Mike".
0:18:07 > 0:18:11Just off to find a cure for hiccups...out here.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12You stay here.
0:18:27 > 0:18:32So there's no one proven way to make hiccups go away.
0:18:32 > 0:18:36In fact, in some cases they never go away.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38For example, there was this man called Charles Osborne
0:18:38 > 0:18:44from the USA. He hiccupped non-stop from 1922 to 1990.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51His whole life was spent either hiccupping
0:18:51 > 0:18:54or enjoying the short moments between hiccups
0:18:54 > 0:18:56when he would hope that he wasn't going to hiccup again.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58He was always disappointed.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Treatments which might work involve
0:19:00 > 0:19:05trying to settle the twitchy diaphragm by holding your breath,
0:19:05 > 0:19:08or breathing into a paper bag,
0:19:08 > 0:19:11or stimulating the nerve which causes hiccups by swallowing
0:19:11 > 0:19:15dry bread or crushed ice. But they probably won't work, good luck!
0:19:21 > 0:19:22Any luck?
0:19:22 > 0:19:26Yeah, BAD luck. You can have dry bread,
0:19:26 > 0:19:28crushed ice or be Charles Osborne.
0:19:28 > 0:19:32Charles Osborne sounds nice, I think I'll be - hiccup - him.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34This is going to be harder than I thought.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37I hope Jess is keeping the film crew busy.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- Are you sure this is him?- Yep.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Why is Jess wearing Mike's clothes?
0:19:47 > 0:19:49- Stanley.- Ah, of course.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51You look like a girl.
0:19:51 > 0:19:55Well, you look like a donkey in a wig but I don't judge you.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Look, if you want to complain about my behaviour,
0:19:58 > 0:20:01ask Amanda for Mike's mother's address.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05Listen, sonny, this is local television,
0:20:05 > 0:20:08so you're going to shut up and do exactly as I tell you
0:20:08 > 0:20:12or you're going to look very stupid in front of hundreds of people.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15You'd be the expert in that.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18You're not going to tell her
0:20:18 > 0:20:20I brought down the wrong person, are you?
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Oh, no. Having far too much fun for that.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33- Has it worked?- I think, maybe...hiccup!
0:20:33 > 0:20:35No.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Hey, what about giving me a shock?
0:20:37 > 0:20:38What?
0:20:38 > 0:20:42My mum says that works. Or say pineapple over and over again,
0:20:42 > 0:20:44or think about a dog eating broccoli.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49Try eating the dry bread whilst breathing into the bag.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00How do people come up with all these crazy cures?
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Have any of them worked?
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Hey, little terrier, you enjoying that broccoli?
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Hiccup.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Pineapple, pineapple - hiccup - pineapple.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Most hiccups go away after a while, anyway. Because people are always
0:21:13 > 0:21:15doing things to get rid of them, they think whatever they were doing
0:21:15 > 0:21:18when the hiccup stops is what must have cured them, whether it's
0:21:18 > 0:21:20juggling bananas or repeating.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Pineapple, pineapple, pineapple - hiccup!
0:21:23 > 0:21:25So there's lots of stupid remedies?
0:21:30 > 0:21:34Oh, she says they're not all stupid, some of them
0:21:34 > 0:21:36stand a small chance of working.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39The nerves that can cause your diaphragm to twitch
0:21:39 > 0:21:41go to lots of different places in your body,
0:21:41 > 0:21:44so working out exactly what's bugging them can be tricky.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46One guy hiccupped for four days
0:21:46 > 0:21:50until his doctor spotted a hair tickling his eardrum. Urgh.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53As soon as it was removed his hiccups stopped.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Some doctors try to cure hiccups
0:21:55 > 0:21:59with an anaesthetic that sends you to sleep. The question is,
0:21:59 > 0:22:02would you rather sleep all day or have the hiccups?
0:22:04 > 0:22:06We could try to knock him out.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Pineapple - hiccup - pineapple? Hiccup - pineapple - hiccup!
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Yes, I'm sorry, Mrs Wilson, it's just,
0:22:13 > 0:22:17Miss Stripe feels that you're not going to work with our audience.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20We're after something a bit more trendy and funkier.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23- I'll look after Fluffy.- Right.
0:22:23 > 0:22:28Yeah? OK, thanks for being so understanding.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31See you later, have a nice day, bye now.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33This is ridiculous.
0:22:33 > 0:22:38Bye! she'll have a lovely time on telly, come back in an hour. Bye!
0:22:38 > 0:22:43Honestly, that Mike is the most disgusting child I've ever met.
0:22:43 > 0:22:44Is that the cat?
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Yes, but Mrs Wilson felt that she wasn't right for the show,
0:22:47 > 0:22:50so she's asked me to look after Fluffy for the cameras.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54You can't fool me, you did over that sweet Mrs Wilson,
0:22:54 > 0:22:59just to fuel your own naked local television ambitions, didn't you?
0:22:59 > 0:23:04You'll go a long way. Now, come on! We go live in two minutes.
0:23:04 > 0:23:09- Fluffy, we're going to be on TV! - Miaow!- Oh.
0:23:09 > 0:23:14- You can't knock Mike out. - Why?- It's dangerous.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Go on, just a quick karate chop, I've been watching Jess,
0:23:16 > 0:23:19- he won't feel a thing. - No, he'll be unconscious.
0:23:19 > 0:23:24And the hiccupping will stop, I'll do it gently.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27Go on. Please. I always wanted to knock him out.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31- Why?- I don't know, just something about him.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36No. No! No! Archie, look out!
0:23:36 > 0:23:37Argh!
0:23:37 > 0:23:39What? HE HICCUPS
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Oh, argh!
0:23:48 > 0:23:52Argh, argh! Get it off, oh!
0:23:53 > 0:23:56It's alive!
0:23:56 > 0:23:58HE HICCUPS
0:23:58 > 0:24:00At least that proves shocks don't cure hiccups.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Uh! get it off me! Oh.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Mike! Mike!
0:24:07 > 0:24:11First juicinator juice, I can't let it slip away.
0:24:11 > 0:24:12Ah...
0:24:16 > 0:24:19Are you seriously going to go through with this?
0:24:19 > 0:24:22- Well, why not? Mike's meant to be in by now.- Ssh.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24- TV:- 'Now live over to Sarah Stripe.'
0:24:24 > 0:24:30Yes, indeed, Judith. I'm here at the house of a woman,
0:24:30 > 0:24:34and we'll be talking to a very brave and special local hero
0:24:34 > 0:24:37and a grateful cat, as well.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41And here's the lad himself, Mike J.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43The skeleton's alive! Hiccup.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44- Who's this?- I'm Mike.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47- But that's Mike.- Why would a girl be called Mike?
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Why are you dressed in girl's clothes?
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Argh, uh!
0:24:52 > 0:24:57Um, so, Mike, did you rescue the cat or not?
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Of course I rescued the cat. What are you trying to suggest?
0:25:00 > 0:25:04- You won't trip me up, it was my ball. - What?
0:25:04 > 0:25:06(Sarah, we're live!)
0:25:06 > 0:25:10Well, why don't we meet the cat? Hm? Fluffy?
0:25:10 > 0:25:11I don't think that's a good idea.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Just get the cat out.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17CAT MIAOWS
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Oh, oh, Fluffy.
0:25:21 > 0:25:22Hello.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24CAT MIAOWS
0:25:24 > 0:25:25Argghh!
0:25:27 > 0:25:28Ouch, ouch!
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Ouch, get it off me, oh!
0:25:42 > 0:25:47Um, are you all right, Sarah? Can I give you a hand?
0:25:47 > 0:25:49I remember you now.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51Bean-head Billington.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52I always hated you,
0:25:52 > 0:25:56and your family are even bigger losers than you were.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Ah, don't talk to my mum like that.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00I'll talk to her however I like.
0:26:00 > 0:26:04I'm Sarah Stripe, I am the local news...
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Wait a minute, my hiccups have gone. That's it!
0:26:09 > 0:26:11This must be the cure for hiccups.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15What, assaulting a TV woman with an angry cat whilst dressed as a girl?
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Yes! We'll have to do this next time I get hiccups.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22Time's up, and she drank your belch juice.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25Looks like I have the loudest burp.
0:26:26 > 0:26:30OK, OK, you win the mummified frog.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34That drink was so fizzy, I think I'm going to...
0:26:34 > 0:26:42Buuuuuuuuurp!
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Oh, pardon me.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56And on that note, back to the studio.
0:26:58 > 0:27:03Congratulations! You win the mummified frog.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06SHE SCREAMS
0:27:06 > 0:27:08THEY LAUGH
0:27:08 > 0:27:11Please, can we watch it one more time?
0:27:12 > 0:27:15Right, I've finally got the juicinator working again,
0:27:15 > 0:27:17who wants a glass?
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Ah!
0:27:36 > 0:27:39Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd