0:00:02 > 0:00:05Welcome to The Revolting World of Stanley Brown.
0:00:05 > 0:00:06Go, science!
0:00:06 > 0:00:08HE VOMITS
0:00:08 > 0:00:09Atchoo!
0:00:09 > 0:00:11Sick!
0:00:11 > 0:00:14Stanley is going to be the world's greatest scientist.
0:00:14 > 0:00:15Whoa!
0:00:15 > 0:00:18It's just that HE doesn't know that yet.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20This is his next-door neighbour Jess,
0:00:20 > 0:00:23and his best friend Mike.
0:00:23 > 0:00:24Oh, and here's Archie.
0:00:24 > 0:00:27I'm your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,
0:00:27 > 0:00:29great grandson, from the future.
0:00:29 > 0:00:30I'm invisible.
0:00:30 > 0:00:35And I'm invisible, too. I'm Olivia, Archie's incredible robot assistant.
0:00:35 > 0:00:39We've come back in time to make sure that Stanley keeps up his
0:00:39 > 0:00:43revolting experiments and becomes the greatest scientist ever known!
0:00:48 > 0:00:50BLOWS WHISTLE
0:00:52 > 0:00:53WHISTLES TUNELESSLY
0:00:59 > 0:01:03Oh, come on, Meccano pants, where's your party spirit?
0:01:03 > 0:01:07I'm finally about to graduate, become a proper scientist.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Let's celebrate!
0:01:10 > 0:01:12OLIVIA BEEPS
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Yes! I am sure that's why we're here.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Why else would the head of
0:01:16 > 0:01:19the Stanley Brown School for Revolting Science
0:01:19 > 0:01:21invite me to his office?
0:01:21 > 0:01:22OLIVIA BEEPS
0:01:22 > 0:01:25To expel me?! Ha-ha!
0:01:25 > 0:01:29Oh, Olivia, you do beep the funniest things!
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Why on earth would he do that?!
0:01:31 > 0:01:34Since I've been time travelling to the 21st century,
0:01:34 > 0:01:36my grades have doubled.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38I got a 36% last week!
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Tsss!
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Argh!
0:01:43 > 0:01:47My plan to get better at science totally worked,
0:01:47 > 0:01:50AND I had top fun with great, great, great, great, great, great,
0:01:50 > 0:01:53great, great, great, great grandpa Stanley.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57He really is the most brilliant, most revolting person
0:01:57 > 0:02:00I've ever met, and I've met me!
0:02:01 > 0:02:03What are you doing? I wanted this room.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05But I'm growing fungus in here.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08- Well, take it out, put it in the other room.- What, your room?
0:02:08 > 0:02:09No! THIS is my room.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Get off.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Mum! Let go! Get off of my stuff!
0:02:14 > 0:02:15Let go of it!
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Let go of it!
0:02:19 > 0:02:20SQUELCHING
0:02:20 > 0:02:23'Oh. She wasn't very happy about that!
0:02:23 > 0:02:26'And it got even worse when I arrived.'
0:02:26 > 0:02:27Close your eyes.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Stroke.
0:02:31 > 0:02:32Stroke.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35That's it!
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Isn't it soft and fluffy?
0:02:38 > 0:02:39Doesn't it make you happy?
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Ohhh! It feels just like a little puppy.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Urgh, mould!
0:02:44 > 0:02:47Stanley Brown, stop that immediately.
0:02:47 > 0:02:48It's almost a dog!
0:02:48 > 0:02:51It's warm and furry and you can take it for a walk.
0:02:51 > 0:02:52If you want.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Oh, ladies, you've come for the coffee morning.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Don't come in, they're all weirdoes!
0:02:57 > 0:02:59You're all complete weirdoes!
0:02:59 > 0:03:01No, no, no, we're not weirdoes.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03You see, look, my house is really very clean.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Excuse me, ladies.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26And, as well as hanging out with Stanley, I get to graduate,
0:03:26 > 0:03:28become a proper scientist!
0:03:30 > 0:03:33I'm going to have a lab with an air lock,
0:03:33 > 0:03:34and some uranium and...
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Oh, some beakers!
0:03:37 > 0:03:39OLIVIA BEEPS
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Oh, please! Nothing's going to go wrong.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46Why do you have to be such a killjoy? I want my beakers!
0:03:46 > 0:03:48OLIVIA BEEPS
0:03:48 > 0:03:50You are a killjoy!
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Killjoy. Killjoy. Killjoy, killjoy, killjoy!
0:03:53 > 0:03:55You sooo are!
0:03:55 > 0:03:56Just think about it.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Happy Great Stanley Day, everyone!
0:04:00 > 0:04:02OLIVIA BEEPS
0:04:02 > 0:04:06Oh, shush! It's not like I've told him the exact details.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09I mean, I haven't said, "At precisely 8pm tonight, you discover..."
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Argh!
0:04:12 > 0:04:16Yeah. Thanks for stopping me from revealing details of the future,
0:04:16 > 0:04:20but perhaps you could just beep or flash, or something next time.
0:04:23 > 0:04:28See! Don't do this, don't break that, don't destroy the future.
0:04:28 > 0:04:32As if I'D be stupid enough to risk a future.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Hi, Archie.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38- Is this it, has it started? - What?- The great cataclysm!
0:04:38 > 0:04:39I wasn't allowed to warn you about it
0:04:39 > 0:04:43but now the screaming's begun, we must find shelter, come on!
0:04:43 > 0:04:46But it's just Steph screaming about the TV people.
0:04:46 > 0:04:47Oh. Right.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51What's this about a cataclysm?
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Oh, nothing. Forget I said anything.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55What's this?
0:04:57 > 0:05:00You see? You're sooo boring!
0:05:00 > 0:05:02HE YAWNS
0:05:03 > 0:05:04Ow!
0:05:07 > 0:05:08Archibald Brown?
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Hey, head dude! Call me Archie.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Call me sir. Come in.
0:05:16 > 0:05:17Ooh!
0:05:17 > 0:05:19I imagine you know why you're here, Archibald.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21It's not exactly rocket science.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25No, that's Class 4B after lunch. So?
0:05:25 > 0:05:30Yep, totally know why I'm here, so excited - graduation at last!
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Nice coat!
0:05:32 > 0:05:35I was thinking, when I'm a scientist, I might mix things up a bit,
0:05:35 > 0:05:40you know, go radical, get a red lab coat, or purple, or stripes,
0:05:40 > 0:05:42you know, sir? Dude, sir.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45The reason, Archie, you've been called in is
0:05:45 > 0:05:50because I have evidence to suggest that you have been time travelling.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53And because you're going to let me graduate?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Come on, time travel?
0:05:55 > 0:05:57That's all in the past.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Or sometimes the future.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02If you HAVE been time travelling, Archie,
0:06:02 > 0:06:04I'm afraid I will NOT be letting you graduate.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06I might even be expelling you.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10Time travel, Archie, endangers the universe,
0:06:10 > 0:06:12and it's against school rules.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Against school rules! Why didn't you tell me that?
0:06:20 > 0:06:23Always with the "don't blow up the space time continuum,"
0:06:23 > 0:06:26never with the really important stuff.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28But you can't kick me out.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Oh, yes, I can.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32I'm the headmaster, you see - it's what I do.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34That, and shout at the caretaker.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36But, what about my beakers?
0:06:36 > 0:06:39If you kick me out, I'll never graduate.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41I'll have to go and be a pop star or TV presenter,
0:06:41 > 0:06:43or head teacher or something,
0:06:43 > 0:06:46and that'll be rubbish compared to being a scientist!
0:06:46 > 0:06:48It'll be like the worst thing ever.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52It might even be more awful than that time Stanley's sister
0:06:52 > 0:06:53got her hands on the shed!
0:06:53 > 0:06:55POP MUSIC PLAYS
0:06:58 > 0:06:59No!
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Have you got the worms?
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Let's do this!
0:07:25 > 0:07:27We're going to need more worms!
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Ah, Mike and Jess, I've been expecting you.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34We've come to liberate the shed!
0:07:34 > 0:07:37I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Mike.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Keep back! We have worms!
0:07:41 > 0:07:43But I've got perfume!
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Jess, help me!
0:07:48 > 0:07:51My eyes are bleeding. All this pink.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Abort! Abort!
0:08:03 > 0:08:04HE SHUDDERS
0:08:04 > 0:08:08Not being a scientist WOULD be worse than that.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12In fact, it might even be more terrifyingly sickening
0:08:12 > 0:08:14than that time Stanley met Tina!
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Er, excuse me.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Not now, Steph! I'm...
0:08:21 > 0:08:23ANGELIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:08:29 > 0:08:30..busy.
0:08:32 > 0:08:33Stanley?
0:08:36 > 0:08:37You're not Steph.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40No, I'm Tina. I was looking for the bathroom.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Sorry, are you Stanley Brown?
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Yeah. Yeah, I am but...
0:08:44 > 0:08:46I'm SUCH a fan.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51HE TALKS GIBBERISH
0:08:51 > 0:08:52Pardon?
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Sorry, I forgot how to speak for a moment.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Stanley, the volcano!
0:08:57 > 0:09:00What? Oh, that!
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Excuse me for a moment.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03HE VOMITS
0:09:03 > 0:09:05I didn't mean be sick in it!
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Just need to...freshen up.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Brrr! Yuck!
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Actually, nothing could be more terrifyingly sickening than that.
0:09:17 > 0:09:21Although not making it as a scientist would be pretty close.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24Look, you can't kick me out, I didn't do anything.
0:09:24 > 0:09:28You just admitted that you have been time travelling.
0:09:28 > 0:09:29Ah!
0:09:29 > 0:09:33Oh, right. Yes, the, er, talking about Stanley's shed and stuff.
0:09:33 > 0:09:34Can I un-admit it?
0:09:34 > 0:09:38Well, try it and see. It'll be like an experiment.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Oh, OK.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44No, I have never time travelled in my life.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Then, Archie, how can you explain these?
0:09:47 > 0:09:48HE GASPS
0:09:48 > 0:09:51OK, fine! Fine!
0:09:51 > 0:09:53I did it! I time travelled.
0:09:53 > 0:09:59I did terrible things. Things like bamboozle a stupid 21st-century boy!
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Just stay in here and I'll get your MP3 player.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07Yeah, well, hurry up and, er, don't tell your weird sister I'm here.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13'Oh, this is great! I was especially pleased with this plan.'
0:10:17 > 0:10:19HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: Don't pick your nose!
0:10:19 > 0:10:22- Who said that? - SQUEAKY VOICE: The other voice.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27DEEP VOICE: It was me, your conscience.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29My what?
0:10:29 > 0:10:30Your conscience.
0:10:30 > 0:10:35You know, the voice inside your head, inner thoughts, etc, etc?
0:10:35 > 0:10:37I have inner thoughts?
0:10:37 > 0:10:38For real?
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Aye, for real, blood!
0:10:40 > 0:10:44So, the inner thoughts are in my blood?
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Ha! That's well freaky!
0:10:47 > 0:10:49How come I've never heard you before?
0:10:49 > 0:10:52You never listened. It's time to start listening now, Daniel.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57Go and see the girl.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Give her another chance.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01No way, Mr Brain!
0:11:01 > 0:11:03She waves scabs in people's faces.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05I don't like that in a girl.
0:11:06 > 0:11:11But you do like thinking about pancakes, don't you?
0:11:11 > 0:11:13I'll never let you think about them again,
0:11:13 > 0:11:15unless you go upstairs and do dances with Steph.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17All right, I'm going, I'm going!
0:11:21 > 0:11:23OLIVIA BEEPS
0:11:23 > 0:11:25All right, you helped a bit.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29That's very serious, Archie.
0:11:29 > 0:11:34But...I only did it so Stanley could get his hands on THAT giant scab.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40And, yes, fine, I scared Stanley's sister
0:11:40 > 0:11:43and her awful friend Tasha half to death.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47I dunno what's happened to this ghost.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Maybe it's upset that you made it up.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51It's probably just too light.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57You're going to have to be the ghost.
0:11:57 > 0:11:58You're going to kill me?
0:11:58 > 0:12:01No! Wait till she's distracted then move stuff about.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Knock something off a shelf, yeah?
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Wandering spirit, give us a sign.
0:12:13 > 0:12:14I told you.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Look, Steph, I'm not going to let you into the group
0:12:17 > 0:12:18just because you pretend that...
0:12:18 > 0:12:20BANGING
0:12:21 > 0:12:23That was...just your brother again.
0:12:24 > 0:12:25SHE GASPS
0:12:28 > 0:12:30SHE GASPS
0:12:31 > 0:12:33It wasn't me!
0:12:44 > 0:12:47SHE GASPS
0:12:47 > 0:12:48SHE WHIMPERS
0:12:51 > 0:12:53THEY SCREAM
0:12:55 > 0:12:56Let me out of here!
0:12:57 > 0:12:59The only reason I did that was to ensure
0:12:59 > 0:13:03Stanley stood on a tarantula and invented bionic spider's legs,
0:13:03 > 0:13:04and yes, I...
0:13:04 > 0:13:06There's more? Really?
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Oh, yeah! I got up to loads of stuff in the past!
0:13:11 > 0:13:15Aha! A 21st-century bathroom! Fascinating.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Thank you, Olivia,
0:13:17 > 0:13:20but I think I can find my way around without your help.
0:13:21 > 0:13:2421st-century humans wee and poo into this bath,
0:13:24 > 0:13:27which simply teleports their mess away
0:13:27 > 0:13:30and dumps it on Belgium, much as we do in the future.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34And this toilet is where they wash their hair. Observe.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38I'm telling you, Daisy - this place is haunted.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41There's a ghost in the shed that, like, hates boxes.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46Oh!
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Finally, you are mine!
0:13:56 > 0:13:59- Ow, my nose!- Ha-ha! I've been waiting to get that spot for ages.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00Woo-hoo!
0:14:00 > 0:14:02# I squeezed a spot! I squeezed a spot!
0:14:02 > 0:14:04# A spot on her face and I just squeezed it! #
0:14:04 > 0:14:05Whoa!
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Bones just fix themselves, like toilets.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11- Toilets don't fix themselves. - Yes, they do.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Well, they do in the future.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Remind me to pop back to your bathroom later on.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Might need some very strong glue.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Hey, at least they flush themselves!
0:14:20 > 0:14:22I better go.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24You see, Stanley, what did I say?
0:14:24 > 0:14:26This is a gorgeous, gorgeous woman,
0:14:26 > 0:14:29and then there was kissy, kissy, Aunt Amy.
0:14:32 > 0:14:33Did someone just...?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Must have been the wind.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39So, yes, I time travelled!
0:14:39 > 0:14:43But, really, I only ever did it to get better at science.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Science is my life!
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Please don't expel me.
0:14:48 > 0:14:53It's still a very serious offence, Archie. Rules are rules.
0:14:53 > 0:14:54HE BLUBBERS
0:14:54 > 0:14:58Archie, no more tears. Can't have you walking out of here sniffling.
0:14:58 > 0:15:02Everyone'll think I've started experimenting on students, OK?
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Is there no hope?
0:15:05 > 0:15:07I'd do anything to stay in school.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Do you need your shoes shined?
0:15:09 > 0:15:12I know of an excellent 21st-century product called shoe polish.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15I could nip back and get some for you.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Oh. Not a good idea.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23Well, I suppose, Archie, we may not have to expel you.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26HIGH-PITCHED: Really? I can stay?
0:15:26 > 0:15:29- HIGH-PITCHED:- Mayb... - NORMAL:- Maybe, yes,
0:15:29 > 0:15:31but I'm not promising anything.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Yes! He's not promising anything.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37But...there will be no graduation in the near future,
0:15:37 > 0:15:40and you will have to promise me one thing.
0:15:40 > 0:15:41Name it!
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Never to time travel again.
0:15:44 > 0:15:45But...
0:15:46 > 0:15:49But, but no more time travel would mean
0:15:49 > 0:15:52no more hanging out with Stanley. He's so much fun!
0:15:54 > 0:15:57We're going to make the most disgusting film ever.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00Woo-hoo! Ha-ha! Up top, guys.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Don't leave me hanging.
0:16:04 > 0:16:05HE SIGHS
0:16:07 > 0:16:08Ho-ho!
0:16:08 > 0:16:11'And the good times kept on coming.'
0:16:11 > 0:16:12Icing sugar!
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Put the icing sugar in the cola.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19Brilliant!
0:16:29 > 0:16:31How do you feel?
0:16:31 > 0:16:32HE BURPS
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Great Stanley Day.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36FANFARE
0:16:37 > 0:16:41You see? Stanley - fun!
0:16:41 > 0:16:43I can't not see him again.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Plus...no more time travel will mean
0:16:45 > 0:16:50never hanging out with Jess again, and she's so cool.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Smell my stink!
0:16:52 > 0:16:53- Hi-yah!- Argh!
0:16:54 > 0:16:57Will you stop coming at me from behind with awful smells?
0:16:57 > 0:16:59What if I sprayed them at you from the front?
0:16:59 > 0:17:02Stanley, I do the surprise attacks in this friendship.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04I THOUGHT you understood that.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Don't worry, Stanley.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08I'll protect you!
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Well, I definitely would protect you,
0:17:13 > 0:17:16if I wasn't forbidden by the laws of time travel,
0:17:16 > 0:17:20and, all right, if I wasn't scared of Jess.
0:17:20 > 0:17:24Hiiiyyyy... Hi, Mrs Brown.
0:17:24 > 0:17:29I have black belts in jujitsu, Krav Maga and backchat.
0:17:29 > 0:17:30You look like a girl.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34Well, you look like a donkey in a wig, but I don't judge you.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38Listen, sonny, this is local television,
0:17:38 > 0:17:41so you're going to shut up and do exactly as I tell you
0:17:41 > 0:17:45or you're going to look very stupid in front of hundreds of people.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47You'd be the expert in that.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Hi-yah!
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Yes.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Oops.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Come on, Jess, it'll just be a bunch of grown-ups sat around talking.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02I don't know why you're getting so angry.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04What makes you think I'm angry?
0:18:04 > 0:18:08Just a feeling, and the fact that you've handcuffed me to the shelves.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12You see? Jess - cool!
0:18:12 > 0:18:15And never going back to the past would mean
0:18:15 > 0:18:17no more hanging out with Mike,
0:18:17 > 0:18:20never seeing his silly little face again.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24# My name is Mike and my friend's name is Stanley
0:18:24 > 0:18:26# And he has an imaginary friend
0:18:26 > 0:18:29# Which is really weird! #
0:18:29 > 0:18:30I'm so sorry, he's 12.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35'Oh, Mike, always trying to do experiments like Stanley.'
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Tighter!
0:18:40 > 0:18:42Tighter!
0:18:42 > 0:18:44CREAKING
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Out of my shed!
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Help, let me out! I'm in a bucket of slime!
0:18:50 > 0:18:52HE SCREAMS
0:18:52 > 0:18:54'And his awful camouflage.'
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Hey, it's me!
0:18:56 > 0:18:59No, really(?) Why are you covered in plants and flowers?
0:18:59 > 0:19:03Camouflage. With this combat camo, I can creep up on the enemy,
0:19:03 > 0:19:06all stiff, completely unseen.
0:19:06 > 0:19:07What do you think?
0:19:07 > 0:19:09I think you're a doofus!
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Hey, Jess!
0:19:13 > 0:19:14See! Fooled you, didn't it?
0:19:14 > 0:19:17Camouflage only works if it matches your surroundings.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Hmm, right.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22'When Mike and Stanley got together, there was no stopping them.'
0:19:22 > 0:19:24It's me!
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Sssh! I know it's you. What's this?
0:19:26 > 0:19:30It's indoor camouflage. I'm the office.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32We don't have an office. Who wears an office?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Duck!
0:19:34 > 0:19:35Even if I did, I don't think
0:19:35 > 0:19:38it would be going for a walk in my sister's bedroom.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41- Oh.- Good effort, though, Mike!
0:19:41 > 0:19:42Where's Mike?
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Scab hunters, it's time to go undercover.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48I'm the living room!
0:19:49 > 0:19:52He never gives up, I'll give him that.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Mikey.
0:19:56 > 0:19:57The Big M.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59M-Unit.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01Oh, please!
0:20:01 > 0:20:04You're telling me you will miss Mike?
0:20:04 > 0:20:07He irritated the 25th-century pants off of you!
0:20:07 > 0:20:11Next, you'll be telling me you'll miss hanging out with Mum, or Steph.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15Look, I know that you just think that I'm an old grotbag
0:20:15 > 0:20:17but, back in the day, let me tell you, I was...
0:20:17 > 0:20:19A slightly younger grotbags?
0:20:19 > 0:20:22..a very fine young actress.
0:20:22 > 0:20:26I played Juliette in a school production of Annie Get Your Gun.
0:20:26 > 0:20:27I had two lines.
0:20:27 > 0:20:32So if Stanley wants to make a film, then as you young people say, LOL.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35ROFL.
0:20:36 > 0:20:37OMG.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Never abbreviate again!
0:20:41 > 0:20:43NAA, don't you mean?
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Steph, look!
0:20:45 > 0:20:47SHE SCREAMS
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Mm-hmm! You like?
0:20:52 > 0:20:55I thought you might want to hang out and maybe watch a,
0:20:55 > 0:20:58what do you call, vampire film like Twiglet?
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Twilight! Take that off! Take that off now!
0:21:01 > 0:21:02I'm just trying to be cool.
0:21:02 > 0:21:07THAT...is not cool. THIS is cool. Don't you know anything?
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Oh, so what you're saying is I should dress more like you?
0:21:10 > 0:21:12What? No!
0:21:12 > 0:21:15Hmm, thanks for the tip, dude. Laters!
0:21:16 > 0:21:18'Stanley's mum was pretty weird.'
0:21:18 > 0:21:20I'm going to hang up now.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24Or Aunty Phyllis, or maybe weepy Terri.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26What about drippy Daniel from next door?
0:21:26 > 0:21:28And Daisy, remember her?
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Daisy!
0:21:31 > 0:21:32Steph!
0:21:32 > 0:21:34What do you think?
0:21:34 > 0:21:38Well, the other day I was thinking, why don't we get banana jam?
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Then I thought, what would a badger look like in a wig?
0:21:41 > 0:21:43No! About my hair!
0:21:43 > 0:21:45My brother's really into science.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Yeah, I know, right? It's like everything has to be measured
0:21:48 > 0:21:50and proved before he'll believe in it.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Yeah, things are so much better when they're vague and confusing,
0:21:53 > 0:21:55and don't really make any sense.
0:21:55 > 0:21:56I think we'll...
0:21:57 > 0:22:00I think we'll start with your...eyes.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Ah! Erm...
0:22:03 > 0:22:06- I'm your partner.- No, you're not. I told you yesterday, remember?
0:22:06 > 0:22:09- No.- Well, you're not. I'm with Daniel.
0:22:09 > 0:22:14Look, try to understand. I've dumped you so I could work with Daniel, OK?
0:22:14 > 0:22:17- You've dumped me? - We're still friends.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19And I utterly respect you, so go away!
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Daniel's going to be here soon
0:22:21 > 0:22:24and I told him your head's all hanging off!
0:22:26 > 0:22:29- DOORBELL RINGS - Will you just...?
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Daniel!
0:22:31 > 0:22:34This is all your fault. Remind me never to trust her again.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Never trust her again.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39'Aw, Daisy really likes Steph. Such dedication.'
0:22:40 > 0:22:43- What's that noise? - Nothing. What noise?
0:22:43 > 0:22:46Oh, that noise! Oh, it's coming from the landing.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51I'll win you back Steph!
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Oh, really? Were they ALL so much fun?
0:22:57 > 0:22:58I don't think so.
0:22:58 > 0:23:02What? What are you looking at me like that for?
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Is my hat on fire again?
0:23:04 > 0:23:07How do you know about all those people from the past?
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Lucky guess. Listen, best thing for you to do -
0:23:11 > 0:23:13get off to class now, there's a good chap,
0:23:13 > 0:23:15close the door on the way out, and do your best,
0:23:15 > 0:23:19get cracking with that non-time travelling thing. Good lad!
0:23:19 > 0:23:23The only way you could know about those people is if you...knew them!
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Which means...
0:23:25 > 0:23:26Could it really be?
0:23:26 > 0:23:27I think you're...
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Archie, chop chop!
0:23:29 > 0:23:32Good lad, that's it, get back to class, quick as you can.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Yes. See, I've got tea to drink, hats to set on fire,
0:23:34 > 0:23:36and secret time travelling to cover up!
0:23:36 > 0:23:39You're Stanley Brown!
0:23:39 > 0:23:41No! No, I'm not.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Oh, yes, you are!
0:23:47 > 0:23:48Oh, no!
0:23:48 > 0:23:52Great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,
0:23:52 > 0:23:54great, great, great, grandpappy! So it's you!
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Yes, yes, all right, Archie, I admit it.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59- Please, I admit it but no more... - Oh, this is so brilliant!
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- We must tell everyone immediately, they'll be so excited.- No.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04OK, you tell all the present-day people,
0:24:04 > 0:24:06I'll travel through time and tell everyone...
0:24:06 > 0:24:08No, no! Archie, you can't do that!
0:24:08 > 0:24:11Archie, don't tell anyone, you can't say a word, please, not now,
0:24:11 > 0:24:14not in the future, and certainly not in the past!
0:24:14 > 0:24:17- Why not?- You see, I...
0:24:17 > 0:24:20I have been time travelling for years.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Yes. And it's against the school rules, remember?
0:24:23 > 0:24:28Ooh, right. So...you'll get in trouble if everyone found out?
0:24:28 > 0:24:29Loads.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32As much trouble as with me time travelling?
0:24:32 > 0:24:36More, probably. And you're young enough not to know better.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Do I really have to stop doing it?
0:24:38 > 0:24:43Well, keep quiet about me doing it and we'll see.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45- OK.- OK.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47- Plan.- Plan.- Wow!- Wow!
0:24:47 > 0:24:49- And now I know you're you...- Yes.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52..I can help you with those experiments!
0:24:52 > 0:24:53Y-Y-Y... No! Archie, don't touch!
0:24:53 > 0:24:55What's this? Maybe I can make it better,
0:24:55 > 0:24:58if I took the lid off or shook it really violently.
0:24:58 > 0:24:59Ah, this'll be like the old days!
0:24:59 > 0:25:02So you're saying I just come in and ruin things for you?
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Sorry, I've ruined this.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13- What are you doing?- Oh, just a little experiment of my own,
0:25:13 > 0:25:16on whether being cold makes you want to have a wee.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21Yes, it does.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Are you going to be in here long?
0:25:23 > 0:25:24You're experimenting with paper!
0:25:24 > 0:25:27Probably trying to make some, or recycle it,
0:25:27 > 0:25:29or draw insulting cartoons of your mum on it.
0:25:29 > 0:25:30I'm brilliant at those!
0:25:30 > 0:25:32I've got a great one of her on the toilet!
0:25:32 > 0:25:33Archie!
0:25:33 > 0:25:37I've told you I'm not telling you what experiment I'm doing.
0:25:37 > 0:25:38You'll just mess it up.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41I don't ALWAYS ruin your experiments.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Sometimes I severely compromise them.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45Do you remember the ferret experiment?
0:25:45 > 0:25:46Yeah!
0:25:46 > 0:25:48I've still got bandages in my underpants,
0:25:48 > 0:25:51and that's why I'm doing this experiment ON MY OWN!
0:25:53 > 0:25:57So, I'll just take a really big...
0:25:57 > 0:25:58HE SNIFFS
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Pahhh!
0:26:03 > 0:26:06We don't care about this, right?
0:26:06 > 0:26:07Stop her!
0:26:09 > 0:26:13Soon, everything'll be just fine!
0:26:19 > 0:26:20Oops!
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Oh, my experiments are ruined!
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Oops!
0:26:27 > 0:26:31Ohhh! Archie helping me all of the time - it would be terrible.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32GLASS SMASHES
0:26:32 > 0:26:36Pardon? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the breaking glass.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38I-I-I mean, Archie, it would be terrible for me
0:26:38 > 0:26:41to keep you here at the university, you understand,
0:26:41 > 0:26:45when you have so much to offer the scientific community.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47Are you saying what I think you're saying?
0:26:47 > 0:26:48What do you think I'm saying?
0:26:48 > 0:26:50That you'll put me in a dungeon under the gym,
0:26:50 > 0:26:54with all the little kids that don't put their hands up to go to the loo?
0:26:54 > 0:26:57No, no! I'm going to let you graduate.
0:26:57 > 0:27:01Yes, go out into the wide world, Archibald Brown,
0:27:01 > 0:27:07get your stripy lab coat, do some experiments of your very own!
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Graduate?
0:27:09 > 0:27:10Me?
0:27:10 > 0:27:11Really?
0:27:20 > 0:27:24That is revolting!
0:27:25 > 0:27:28BOTH: Brilliant!
0:27:30 > 0:27:31THEY LAUGH
0:27:46 > 0:27:50Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd