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0:00:02 > 0:00:04So there I was, hard at it, doing my homework when my ma comes in.

0:00:04 > 0:00:07Ah, Roy, that doesn't look like your homework.

0:00:07 > 0:00:09But, Ma, it's history homework for Hammo.

0:00:09 > 0:00:11Ah, history.

0:00:11 > 0:00:13Gossip's fancy cousin.

0:00:13 > 0:00:15Your assignment is to write the life story

0:00:15 > 0:00:18of a historical figure of your choice. I want every fact...

0:00:18 > 0:00:20He wants every fact...

0:00:20 > 0:00:24every figure, and every single detail.

0:00:24 > 0:00:25I don't know where to start.

0:00:25 > 0:00:28What do I know about the woman who built France

0:00:28 > 0:00:30or the man who invented hiccups?

0:00:30 > 0:00:32Why not try writing about the person you know best?

0:00:32 > 0:00:34- Who's that? - You. We're all a part of history.

0:00:34 > 0:00:35Ma was right,

0:00:35 > 0:00:38but did I really want everybody knowing everything about me?

0:00:38 > 0:00:40There's some things I wish even I didn't know.

0:00:40 > 0:00:42My da was very persuasive, though -

0:00:42 > 0:00:45you know what HE'S like when he gets worked up about something.

0:00:46 > 0:00:49Will whatever you're saying mean I have to stop reading this paper?

0:00:49 > 0:00:50No.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54- Good, then. - So I'm writing it all down,

0:00:54 > 0:00:56the life and thoughts of Roy O'Brien.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Because these are The Roy Files.

0:00:59 > 0:01:00- ALL:- ROY!

0:01:02 > 0:01:05Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Go on, Da.

0:01:05 > 0:01:07OK.

0:01:07 > 0:01:08OK.

0:01:08 > 0:01:09Ahem!

0:01:09 > 0:01:14Why is Roy O'Brien, Ireland's first cartoon boy,

0:01:14 > 0:01:16such a big fan of music?

0:01:17 > 0:01:19It's because...

0:01:19 > 0:01:20This is deadly!

0:01:20 > 0:01:22It's because...

0:01:22 > 0:01:23This will kill you!

0:01:23 > 0:01:25..because he really likes the TUNES!

0:01:27 > 0:01:30Cos, you see, Roy is a carTOON!

0:01:30 > 0:01:31Don't explain it, Da!

0:01:31 > 0:01:33You've ruined it.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35Seriously, though,

0:01:35 > 0:01:36I am mad about music.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40GUITAR RIFF

0:01:40 > 0:01:41Whoa!

0:01:41 > 0:01:42Cool!

0:01:42 > 0:01:43- MA:- Roy!

0:01:45 > 0:01:46'Music can do so many things.

0:01:46 > 0:01:48'It can make you happy...'

0:01:48 > 0:01:51# Dum-dum, dee-dee, happy boys are we

0:01:51 > 0:01:53# Dum-dum, dee-dee, happy boys are we

0:01:53 > 0:01:55# Living in Toytown, happy boys are we. #

0:01:55 > 0:01:56'It can amaze you...'

0:01:56 > 0:01:58# Ah-ah

0:01:58 > 0:02:00# Ah-ah-ah CRACK!

0:02:00 > 0:02:01# Ah-ah-ah... #

0:02:01 > 0:02:03- What's that..?- It cracked my glass.

0:02:03 > 0:02:06'It can even help you tell people how you really feel.'

0:02:06 > 0:02:09ROY SINGS IN FRENCH

0:02:16 > 0:02:19What? You think my breath smells like dead fish

0:02:19 > 0:02:21and my eyes are like dog poo?

0:02:21 > 0:02:22What?

0:02:22 > 0:02:24But I guess it can't make you good at French!

0:02:24 > 0:02:27Still, though, where would you be without music?

0:02:27 > 0:02:30- And there's music for everybody. - You're not wrong, son.

0:02:30 > 0:02:31You're not wrong.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34You know, I think my favourite song, got to be the birthday song.

0:02:34 > 0:02:37The birthday song? You're joking me?

0:02:37 > 0:02:39How could the birthday song be your favourite?

0:02:39 > 0:02:42Well, it's the only song that comes with cake!

0:02:42 > 0:02:44CYMBAL CLASH

0:02:44 > 0:02:45Ha!

0:02:45 > 0:02:47Oh, I should have known!

0:02:47 > 0:02:51It's funny, but these days I find myself drawn to the classics.

0:02:51 > 0:02:54Is that so? My ma, the classical music fan.

0:02:54 > 0:02:56Beethoven, Bach...

0:02:57 > 0:02:59..Barlow.

0:02:59 > 0:03:02Since when was Gary Barlow the classics?

0:03:02 > 0:03:05Well, he's a lot better than those zombies you listen to.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07Zombies?

0:03:07 > 0:03:09Hey, my music is a lot better than it sounds.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12No, wait... That came out wrong.

0:03:13 > 0:03:14LOUD MUSIC

0:03:14 > 0:03:17Isn't it wonderful how music brings a family together?

0:03:17 > 0:03:20It's always played a big part in the O'Brien house.

0:03:21 > 0:03:22Roy!

0:03:24 > 0:03:26Roy!

0:03:28 > 0:03:31Roy, can you please just turn that off?!

0:03:31 > 0:03:34Shh! Can you keep your voice down, please?

0:03:34 > 0:03:36What...are you doing?

0:03:36 > 0:03:38Playing classical music to Roy Junior.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40- Roy Junior?- Yeah.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42It's supposed to be good for his development.

0:03:42 > 0:03:45Everybody loves music, even teachers.

0:03:45 > 0:03:48Something to do with expanding the mind.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50Miss Jervis loves that sort of thing.

0:03:50 > 0:03:52Oh, yes!

0:03:52 > 0:03:54At Sandyford Progressive Learning,

0:03:54 > 0:03:58we see music as a KEY part of the curriculum.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00You could say that it was our FORTE,

0:04:00 > 0:04:02but I don't want to HARP on about it,

0:04:02 > 0:04:05but we aim to promote HARMONY

0:04:05 > 0:04:09by taking careful NOTE to keep in TUNE with our pupils.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12Well done, miss. Personal best.

0:04:12 > 0:04:14You fitted six into one sentence.

0:04:14 > 0:04:16She's the only person I know who could sprain her wrists

0:04:16 > 0:04:19by talking too much.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22But at least Miss Jervis just talks about it.

0:04:22 > 0:04:25# Happy, happy sunshine

0:04:25 > 0:04:28# Shining down on me

0:04:28 > 0:04:33# Hello, Mr Sunshine, from all the birds and bees

0:04:33 > 0:04:36# Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy sunshine

0:04:36 > 0:04:40# Shining down on me. #

0:04:40 > 0:04:41Boo-bee!

0:04:41 > 0:04:42'And Hammo's even worse.'

0:04:42 > 0:04:45He uses the power of music for evil.

0:04:45 > 0:04:48He uses it...to teach.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50# Alexander the Great

0:04:50 > 0:04:52# Was very, very great

0:04:52 > 0:04:56# And his horse was in a state

0:04:57 > 0:04:59# Scared of his own shadow

0:04:59 > 0:05:03# Scared of his own shadow...

0:05:03 > 0:05:05# Bucephalus

0:05:05 > 0:05:07# Boo! #

0:05:07 > 0:05:09And as for Becky singing in the shower...

0:05:09 > 0:05:11Talk about a soap opera!

0:05:11 > 0:05:12GHASTLY HIGH-PITCHED SINGING

0:05:12 > 0:05:15Ooh! What's going on?

0:05:15 > 0:05:16Is someone hurt?

0:05:16 > 0:05:18It's just Becky singing in the shower.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20PIERCING HIGH-PITCHED NOTE

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Oh...

0:05:23 > 0:05:27'Listening to music that loud must be bad for Becky's hearing.

0:05:27 > 0:05:31'I guess that explains why she likes that tuneless rubbish.'

0:05:31 > 0:05:34Yeah, well, if it was tuneless, melodic death metal,

0:05:34 > 0:05:39it wouldn't have the word "melodic" in the genre title, now, would it?

0:05:39 > 0:05:40Duh!

0:05:40 > 0:05:43And the word...death.

0:05:43 > 0:05:45Maybe you don't get it,

0:05:45 > 0:05:48but this music really speaks to me.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51Well, it really shouts at me!

0:05:51 > 0:05:54I suppose I've always felt there's a rock star trapped inside me

0:05:54 > 0:05:55just trying to get out.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58I'm not surprised he wants to get out. You've got no talent.

0:06:00 > 0:06:03So now you want to become a guitarist, do you?

0:06:03 > 0:06:05Yeah, why not?

0:06:05 > 0:06:08You might have a little bit of a problem there.

0:06:08 > 0:06:10Don't listen to her.

0:06:10 > 0:06:13I'm actually deadly at my chosen instrument.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16'Air guitar is not an instrument.'

0:06:16 > 0:06:19# Diddly-doo! Diddly-doo! #

0:06:19 > 0:06:21Rock on, Dublin!

0:06:21 > 0:06:24'And it still took you ages to get the hang of it.'

0:06:24 > 0:06:26'It's trickier than it looks.'

0:06:26 > 0:06:29Get out!

0:06:29 > 0:06:32'People have paid good money to see me play the guitar.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34'The real guitar.'

0:06:34 > 0:06:37'Yeah! To see you play it somewhere else.'

0:06:37 > 0:06:38'The point is, they paid me.

0:06:38 > 0:06:41'There's nothing those pop star fellows have that I haven't got.'

0:06:46 > 0:06:48'Apart from looks and talent.'

0:06:48 > 0:06:51Ah, I'm sorry.

0:06:51 > 0:06:52Did I burst your bubble?

0:06:52 > 0:06:54No, but I'm busting yours.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56Hey!

0:06:56 > 0:06:57Becky's just jealous.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00'She saw how close I came to the big time.'

0:07:00 > 0:07:04THEY PLAY A TUNELESS RACKET

0:07:04 > 0:07:07Stop, stop, stop!

0:07:07 > 0:07:10Thank you. Look, lads, I told yous both, I don't play any instrument.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13I can't either, but we can learn.

0:07:13 > 0:07:16OK, so the music needed work,

0:07:16 > 0:07:19but maybe we could distract the crowd with our banging dance moves.

0:07:21 > 0:07:23One, two, three...

0:07:23 > 0:07:25One, two, three...

0:07:25 > 0:07:28Come on, Roy. Where's your moves?

0:07:28 > 0:07:30That was different.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32I was free-styling! Going mad!

0:07:32 > 0:07:34This is different.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36This is useless.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38We'll never be ready in time.

0:07:38 > 0:07:41Like, even if yous two could dance, none of us can sing.

0:07:41 > 0:07:46Disaster. But then I realised we were going about this all wrong.

0:07:46 > 0:07:48We needed a more modern approach.

0:07:48 > 0:07:49We don't have to sing.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52Nobody sings nowadays.

0:07:52 > 0:07:53Most of them can't.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55It's all backing tracks.

0:07:55 > 0:07:58Tommy, could you make us one?

0:07:58 > 0:08:01Yeah, I suppose I could.

0:08:01 > 0:08:03I just need to find someone who can sing.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05Yeah, but wouldn't that be cheating?

0:08:05 > 0:08:07We were the perfect band.

0:08:07 > 0:08:11Sinead had the voice, Tommy had the brains and I had...

0:08:11 > 0:08:12Um...

0:08:12 > 0:08:14I had...

0:08:14 > 0:08:16Listen...to this.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18'Well...I had Sinead and Tommy!'

0:08:19 > 0:08:22# You may think it's impossible

0:08:22 > 0:08:25# You may say it's not true

0:08:25 > 0:08:28# But I say that it's only natural

0:08:28 > 0:08:30# This love between me and you. #

0:08:30 > 0:08:33That's really good. Who is it?

0:08:33 > 0:08:36- It's Sinead. - I didn't know you could sing.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38- Maybe she should be in the band instead of me?- No way.

0:08:38 > 0:08:40I can't sing in public.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42I know the feeling.

0:08:42 > 0:08:43But then it won't be a Roy...

0:08:43 > 0:08:46I mean, BOY band, if it has a girl in it.

0:08:46 > 0:08:49Doesn't matter. I can make Sinead sound like a guy.

0:08:49 > 0:08:50Easy.

0:08:52 > 0:08:54- SINEAD'S VOICE: - # It's only natural...

0:08:56 > 0:08:59- DEEPER BOY'S VOICE: - # It's only natural...

0:08:59 > 0:09:01- DEEPER VOICE: - # It's only natural... #

0:09:01 > 0:09:04This will be you, Roy.

0:09:04 > 0:09:06ROY WITH A DEEP VOICE: # Love is only natural...

0:09:06 > 0:09:10# Like this love between me and you... #

0:09:10 > 0:09:13And now for the chorus...with all three of us.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17ALL SING DEEPLY: # So don't listen to your parents

0:09:17 > 0:09:20# Who are they to judge us, anyway?

0:09:20 > 0:09:24# We've got to hold on to each other

0:09:24 > 0:09:29# This love is here to stay. #

0:09:29 > 0:09:32- Ah, that's deadly. - Yeah! Yeah!

0:09:32 > 0:09:35We were so close to stardom, we could taste it.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37And it tasted sweet!

0:09:37 > 0:09:40All we needed was for Sinead to do her bit.

0:09:40 > 0:09:44Um, I think someone tripped on the lead over there.

0:09:44 > 0:09:45Oh, thanks, I'll have a look.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49'And then we just storm the audition.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53- 'No sweat.'- And the next up is...

0:09:54 > 0:09:56..Bandjaxed.

0:09:57 > 0:10:01Bandjaxed? I mean, what kind of name is that for a band?

0:10:02 > 0:10:04Eurgh, what's he doing here?

0:10:04 > 0:10:06I heard that, Roy.

0:10:06 > 0:10:07Sorry, sir.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09One-two, one-two.

0:10:09 > 0:10:12EAR-SPLITTING FEEDBACK

0:10:13 > 0:10:16Things have changed a lot since my days in the industry.

0:10:16 > 0:10:18What, you were in the music biz?

0:10:18 > 0:10:20Too right, O'Brien.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Everybody loved my...

0:10:22 > 0:10:25Groovy Gravy.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27But now, it's all backing tapes this

0:10:27 > 0:10:28and Auto-Tune that.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33In my day, you needed to master your instrument.

0:10:34 > 0:10:37It's all about study with you, isn't it, sir?

0:10:37 > 0:10:38Oh, yes.

0:10:38 > 0:10:42Did you know, it takes 10,000 hours of practice

0:10:42 > 0:10:45to become an expert in an instrument?

0:10:45 > 0:10:47I'm not even sure I'm that old.

0:10:47 > 0:10:53SINGS BEAUTIFULLY: # Some say love is just an illusion... #

0:10:53 > 0:10:56'But you don't need 10,000 hours' practice if you're a natural.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59'Or have a sneaky plan that couldn't possibly fail.'

0:10:59 > 0:11:02# But I say love

0:11:02 > 0:11:05# Is the only answer

0:11:07 > 0:11:12# It's like sunshine after the rain

0:11:12 > 0:11:15# You may think that it's impossible... #

0:11:15 > 0:11:17Is he...?

0:11:17 > 0:11:19He certainly is, dear!

0:11:19 > 0:11:21# Love is only natural... #

0:11:21 > 0:11:24'I guess it's just a fact of life that,

0:11:24 > 0:11:26'when it comes to music,

0:11:26 > 0:11:28'not everyone's going to like what you do.

0:11:28 > 0:11:31'And Kathy certainly wasn't a big fan of Bandjaxed.'

0:11:33 > 0:11:34That's not them singing.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36What? Of course it is.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44OUT OF TUNE: # ..our love is here... #

0:11:44 > 0:11:46- Give it back!- No, let go!

0:11:46 > 0:11:49- What's going on? - This doesn't look good.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51Just give it! Give it here!

0:11:51 > 0:11:55COMMOTION FROM BACKSTAGE

0:11:55 > 0:11:56Face it, O'Brien,

0:11:56 > 0:11:59you don't have a musical bone in your body.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04What about my tromBONE, Sir?!

0:12:04 > 0:12:07It's jokes like that that make me want to burst my own bubble.

0:12:07 > 0:12:08Goodbye, O'Brien.

0:12:08 > 0:12:10Thought he'd never leave.

0:12:10 > 0:12:11I heard that, O'Brien!

0:12:14 > 0:12:16No, Roy!

0:12:16 > 0:12:19DISTORTED, TUNELESS SINGING

0:12:19 > 0:12:22SINGING CONTINUES

0:12:22 > 0:12:24OK, I know it's wrong to cheat and all,

0:12:24 > 0:12:28and maybe pop stardom will have to wait another 10,000 hours,

0:12:28 > 0:12:32but Bandjaxed won't be forgotten, not around our way, anyhow.

0:12:32 > 0:12:35TERRIBLE SINGING

0:12:35 > 0:12:37CAR CRASHES INTO BUILDING

0:12:37 > 0:12:39WOMAN SCREAMS

0:12:41 > 0:12:43TERRIBLE SINGING CONTINUES

0:12:51 > 0:12:54So, plenty to think about when it comes to music.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57But keep to these simple rules and you'll be fine...

0:12:57 > 0:13:01Music is the greatest, so if there's an instrument lying around at home,

0:13:01 > 0:13:03give it a go.

0:13:03 > 0:13:05Who knows, you could be the next Bandjaxed!

0:13:05 > 0:13:07Or if singing is your thing,

0:13:07 > 0:13:09the shower is a great place to practise,

0:13:09 > 0:13:11because, no matter how bad you are,

0:13:11 > 0:13:14your family will always love you.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16And even if they get annoyed, what are they going to do?

0:13:16 > 0:13:18The door's locked.

0:13:18 > 0:13:19And finally...

0:13:19 > 0:13:21everybody has their own taste in music,

0:13:21 > 0:13:24so just because someone doesn't like the music you like,

0:13:24 > 0:13:25you shouldn't give them a hard time.

0:13:25 > 0:13:29Except about their rubbish taste in music, of course!

0:13:29 > 0:13:31There you go. Scrapbook sorted.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33- MA:- Roy, love, dinner's ready!

0:13:33 > 0:13:35Ah, Ma calling me for dinner.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38Now THAT'S music to my ears.

0:13:38 > 0:13:39See yous!