0:00:02 > 0:00:04So there I was, hard at it doing my homework when my ma comes in.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07Aw, Roy, that doesn't look like your homework.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10But, Ma, it's History homework for Hammo.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13Ah, History. Gossip's fancy cousin.
0:00:13 > 0:00:17Your assignment is to write the life story of a historical figure
0:00:17 > 0:00:19of your choice.
0:00:19 > 0:00:24- BOTH:- He wants every fact, every figure and every single detail.
0:00:24 > 0:00:25I don't know where to start.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28What do I know about the woman who built France,
0:00:28 > 0:00:29or the man who invented hiccups?
0:00:29 > 0:00:32Why not try writing about the person you know best?
0:00:32 > 0:00:34- Who's that?- You. We're all a part of history.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Ma was right, but did I really want everyone knowing everything
0:00:37 > 0:00:38about me?
0:00:38 > 0:00:40There's some things I wish even I didn't know.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42My Da was very persuasive, though.
0:00:42 > 0:00:47You know what he's like when he gets fired up about something.
0:00:47 > 0:00:48Will whatever you're saying
0:00:48 > 0:00:51- mean I have to have to stop reading this paper?- No.
0:00:51 > 0:00:52Do that, then.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54So, I'm writing it all down -
0:00:54 > 0:00:57The Life And Thoughts Of Roy O'Brien.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Cos these are The Roy Files.
0:00:59 > 0:01:00Roy!
0:01:02 > 0:01:03I'm lucky, really.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06I'd have to say my life is deadly!
0:01:07 > 0:01:10'I've got the best ma and da in the whole wide world...
0:01:10 > 0:01:13'..lots of brilliant friends...
0:01:13 > 0:01:15'..and a sister in a million.'
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Wish I was a stupid cartoon like him.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Hang on, no, I don't.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22Well, two out of three isn't bad.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24But even if you're as lucky as me,
0:01:24 > 0:01:28sometimes you can't help wondering how your life might be better.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30I know exactly what you mean, son.
0:01:30 > 0:01:31You know what they say -
0:01:31 > 0:01:34"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Is it? I've never noticed.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39- No, it's a saying. - Sounds more like a hint to me.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43Come on, Da, you know cutting the grass isn't my thing.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Nobody's asking you to cut the grass.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49I get it, you're not asking me, you're telling me.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51But I'm kind of in the middle of something here.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54Today's chapter is about being careful what you wish for.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Yes, and another way of saying that is,
0:01:56 > 0:01:58- "The grass is always greener..." - I don't believe this.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01He's on about his lawn again.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Anyway, when you're a cartoon boy,
0:02:03 > 0:02:06you have to be especially careful what you wish for
0:02:06 > 0:02:08cos, most of the time, it comes through.
0:02:08 > 0:02:13The school's a jungle and Deco's the king of that jungle, end of.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Deco, king of the jungle?
0:02:15 > 0:02:18He's more like a gorilla than a lion.
0:02:19 > 0:02:20Yeah.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Well, I wish I was a gorilla.
0:02:22 > 0:02:23He wouldn't mess with me then.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27'Before I knew what was happening, I was a knuckle-dragging,
0:02:27 > 0:02:29'banana-loving maniac.'
0:02:29 > 0:02:30Argh!
0:02:30 > 0:02:34And if you think a rampaging angry ape was scary,
0:02:34 > 0:02:37you should have seen what happened when I wished I was small.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41I feel really sick, but Becky's making me do all this work.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44He's such a liar. He's done nothing so far.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46HE COUGHS
0:02:46 > 0:02:48I think you better have a little lie down, love.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Becky can finish off here.
0:02:50 > 0:02:51I have a geography test.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53- Since when?- I'm serious.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55- See you later, love. - Hang on, where are you going?
0:02:55 > 0:02:59Supermarket! The fridge won't fill itself, you know.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Come on, little man, let's get you into bed.
0:03:04 > 0:03:05I love being little.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Sure, being a little Roy was fun at first,
0:03:09 > 0:03:12but I don't need to tell you what happened next.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16HE WHISTLES
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Maybe I should tell you anyway.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23'Cos it turned out little Roy was about to get even littler.'
0:03:23 > 0:03:24CRYING
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Well, I think I can safely say that we've seen it all now.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Oh, Roy!
0:03:31 > 0:03:34'Problem was, I soon ended up wishing that I hadn't wished for
0:03:34 > 0:03:38'what I wished for because I was better off before I wished for it.'
0:03:38 > 0:03:39What if I'm stuck like this?
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Oh, Roy, I forgot to tell you,
0:03:41 > 0:03:44you're booked in for your baby jabs tomorrow, OK?
0:03:44 > 0:03:45Jabs?
0:03:45 > 0:03:47This is all your fault!
0:03:47 > 0:03:48Mine?
0:03:48 > 0:03:50You wanted to be the baby of the family.
0:03:50 > 0:03:51Well, now you are.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53You say that like you learnt your lesson.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58But I don't need to tell YOU what happens next.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Actually you do, otherwise, nothing happens.
0:04:03 > 0:04:04Fine.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Basically, Roy's got a brain like a goldfish,
0:04:07 > 0:04:10so once he's finished with one disaster,
0:04:10 > 0:04:13he turns around and queues up for the next one.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15I'm sick of always looking the same.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18I'd love to be able to grow my hair and change it.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:04:32 > 0:04:33Nice do, Roy.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38'Hey, you change your look all the time.
0:04:38 > 0:04:39'Why shouldn't I?'
0:04:39 > 0:04:41You're...
0:04:41 > 0:04:42..orange.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46Oh, em, I've been eating healthy at school.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Yeah, loads of oranges and carrots and all.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51No, no, no, never mind that, Roy.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53What's going on with your hair?
0:04:53 > 0:04:55We should call Dr Raschid.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57We should call the zoo.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00It's different when I want to change my look.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Oh, really? And how's it different?
0:05:04 > 0:05:07'Well, for starters, my hair never attacked anybody.'
0:05:07 > 0:05:08'Fair point.'
0:05:13 > 0:05:14See? No probs.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Argh!
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Tara!
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Tara help me, please!
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Tara, please!
0:05:32 > 0:05:34His hair's gone mental.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36Anyway, it's not like it happens all the time.
0:05:36 > 0:05:37Not all my wishes come true.
0:05:37 > 0:05:38Watch.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43See? You're still here, aren't you?
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Ha. Very funny.
0:05:45 > 0:05:46But not for long.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Ah, that's better.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Well, I kind of miss her now.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Wishing people away is never a good idea.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57Like with Hammo.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59'There was one thing we all wished we'd here him say.'
0:05:59 > 0:06:01I will be taken seriously.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03'Not that.'
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Stop laughing at me!
0:06:05 > 0:06:06'Not that either.'
0:06:06 > 0:06:08- The nerve!- 'Or that.'
0:06:08 > 0:06:10THEY LAUGH
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Right, that's it, I quit.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13'That's the one.'
0:06:14 > 0:06:18THEY CHEER
0:06:20 > 0:06:23- THEY CHANT:- Roy! Roy!
0:06:23 > 0:06:25'Whoever replaced him had to be better.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27'I mean, who could be worse than Hammo?'
0:06:27 > 0:06:28I'm Lovejoy.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32I don't do "Mr".
0:06:38 > 0:06:39Homework is dead.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Eh, is this a trick?
0:06:44 > 0:06:45Whoa, a cartoon dude.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48I love the school already!
0:06:48 > 0:06:51That's a seriously cool look you have there, er...?
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Roy.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55'No Hammo and no homework.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58'We taught thing couldn't get any better than that.'
0:06:58 > 0:07:01Anybody got any comic books, video games?
0:07:01 > 0:07:02Oh, yeah, me, sir.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Magnifico Man...
0:07:07 > 0:07:08..Fabulous Four And A Half.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Oh, and you should really read this one, sir.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Snot Boy And Unicorn Girl.
0:07:16 > 0:07:17Right.
0:07:17 > 0:07:21Put them in the box. You'll get them back during your holidays.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Comics and video games promote violence.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28But Snot Boy and Unicorn Girl only use their power for good luck.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Here's a list of approved TV shows you can watch.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36The news?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38History shows and...
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Mr Booby's Happy Time?
0:07:40 > 0:07:41These are for four-year-olds.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43'We were right -
0:07:43 > 0:07:45'things couldn't get any better...
0:07:45 > 0:07:48'..but they could get a whole lot worse
0:07:48 > 0:07:50'and that's just what happened.'
0:07:50 > 0:07:51I can get away with anything.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55Just tell Lovejoy I'm doing experiments.
0:07:57 > 0:07:58Such a pushover.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Makes Jervis look like Hammond.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05Do you know what? Lovejoy's the best thing that ever happened to us.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07These are our hallways now.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09We're kings! Ha-ha!
0:08:14 > 0:08:16What have you done, Jane?
0:08:23 > 0:08:24Brr.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26What happened to you?
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Deco. You?
0:08:28 > 0:08:29Fagan.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30Water balloons.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32This place is falling apart.
0:08:38 > 0:08:39I think I miss Hammond.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41'Luckily, we managed to turn things around
0:08:41 > 0:08:44'and got Hammo back in the end.'
0:08:44 > 0:08:46- THEY CHANT:- Hammo! Hammo!
0:08:49 > 0:08:51HE BURPS
0:08:53 > 0:08:55'But sometimes, the things you wish for,
0:08:55 > 0:08:59'can't be turned around and they're the ones you need to watch out for.'
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Spicy!
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Roy! Roy, shows us your hands! Let me see your hands.
0:09:04 > 0:09:05Oh, come on, Roy, show us it!
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Chill out!
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Mr Lucy says we have to be careful with the...
0:09:11 > 0:09:12..scientific wonder.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Boring!
0:09:15 > 0:09:18He's going to turn me into a real CGI boy - is that boring?
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Are you serious?
0:09:21 > 0:09:23He has to figure out how it happened.
0:09:23 > 0:09:24Wow.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26That's mad.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29So, will you still be, like, Roy?
0:09:29 > 0:09:33Yeah, just a zillion times better.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35I don't know what you were thinking of, son.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38But don't you know we love you just the way you are?
0:09:38 > 0:09:41'I know. But if I was a cool CGI cartoon,
0:09:41 > 0:09:44'then maybe I wouldn't be such a disaster.'
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Roy!
0:09:47 > 0:09:49BANG!
0:09:49 > 0:09:51- Oh, dear. - 'What are you talking about?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53'You're not a disaster.'
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Oh!
0:09:55 > 0:09:56Ah, Becky, sorry!
0:09:59 > 0:10:01'I mean, you have your moments.'
0:10:04 > 0:10:05Aah!
0:10:05 > 0:10:06Aah!
0:10:07 > 0:10:08Oh.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14Take this!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Argh!
0:10:16 > 0:10:18BOING! BOING! BOING!
0:10:19 > 0:10:21'Maybe more moments than most.'
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Didn't spill a drop.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29- Deadly.- Ha-ha, yeah.
0:10:32 > 0:10:33Wah!
0:10:37 > 0:10:40It's nothing to do with being a cartoon.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43It's to do with being an O'Brien. Your father's the same.
0:10:43 > 0:10:44Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Are you saying I'm clumsy?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Well, um...
0:10:48 > 0:10:49..not exactly clumsy.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Who wouldn't want to come home to something like that?
0:11:00 > 0:11:03'I'd say it's more that you're spatially unpredictable...'
0:11:03 > 0:11:06# Those were the days... # Oh, sorry, love.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09'..with a highly advanced sense of gravity.'
0:11:09 > 0:11:12'Highly advanced? I'll take that.'
0:11:12 > 0:11:13Whoa!
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Sorry! Sorry! Nothing's broken!
0:11:16 > 0:11:18And I wouldn't have you any other way.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21Ah, Maura. Come here to me, pet.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Whoa!
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Still though, being like Harry Hare seemed like the answer
0:11:27 > 0:11:28to all my problems.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32'It would be a wish come true.'
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Harry?
0:11:35 > 0:11:36Roy, what's up?
0:11:36 > 0:11:38But Harry's more than just a handsome hare.
0:11:38 > 0:11:42He's got brains to match and he gave me the best advice I ever got
0:11:42 > 0:11:43from a talking bunny.
0:11:43 > 0:11:48Changing how you look on the outside won't change who you are inside.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50At least I wouldn't be so different.
0:11:52 > 0:11:53I don't know what to do.
0:11:53 > 0:11:54Tell me, please!
0:11:56 > 0:11:57You'll figure it out.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02After that, I knew exactly what I wanted to change about myself.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Nothing.
0:12:04 > 0:12:08I know you all want me to be cool and shiny,
0:12:08 > 0:12:10not messing around and perfect and all...
0:12:11 > 0:12:15..but I have to be me and I'm really sorry if you don't want that...
0:12:15 > 0:12:18We don't want you to change a bit, love.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Really?
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Listen...
0:12:22 > 0:12:24..you're our Roy.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26That's the best thing you can be.
0:12:26 > 0:12:27So, there you have it.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Scrapbook sorted,
0:12:29 > 0:12:32and plenty to think about when it comes to being careful
0:12:32 > 0:12:33what you wish for.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36But keep to these simple rules and you'll be fine.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Instead of wishing for all the things you don't have,
0:12:38 > 0:12:42think about all the great things that you do have.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Cos, chances are, someone's wishing
0:12:44 > 0:12:45they had what you have right now.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Unless, of course, your wish is to have a sister like Becky.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Because if you want to take her off my hands,
0:12:51 > 0:12:52your wish is granted.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54- Hey!- Hee-hee-hee! - I heard that!
0:12:54 > 0:12:57And remember, even though it might look like someone has it
0:12:57 > 0:12:59much better than you,
0:12:59 > 0:13:01everybody's got good and bad stuff going on.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04It's like when you look at their life from a distance,
0:13:04 > 0:13:05it's awesome.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08But if you got up closer, you'd see it's not any better than yours.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Does that make sense?
0:13:10 > 0:13:12I wish there was a better way of saying that.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13There is.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16That's what I was trying to say to you earlier!
0:13:16 > 0:13:19The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence!
0:13:21 > 0:13:24All right, all right, I'll cut the lawn!
0:13:24 > 0:13:27I better go or my da will never shut up about his grass.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28See you!