0:00:02 > 0:00:04So there I was, hard at it doing my homework, when me ma comes in.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07Roy, that doesn't look like your homework.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09But, Ma, it's history homework for Hammo.
0:00:09 > 0:00:13Ah, history. Gossip's fancy cousin.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15Your assignment is to write the life story of a historical
0:00:15 > 0:00:18figure of your choice.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20- I want every fact... - He wants every fact...
0:00:20 > 0:00:24BOTH: ..every figure and every single detail.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26I don't know where to start!
0:00:26 > 0:00:28What do I know about the woman who built France?
0:00:28 > 0:00:29Or the man who invented hiccups?
0:00:29 > 0:00:32Why not try writing about the person you know best?
0:00:32 > 0:00:34- Who's that?- You. We're all part of history.
0:00:34 > 0:00:35Ma was right.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38But did I really want everyone knowing everything about me?
0:00:38 > 0:00:40There's some things I wish even I didn't know.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Me da was very persuasive, though.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45You know what he's like when he gets worked up about something.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Does whatever you're saying
0:00:48 > 0:00:49mean I have to stop reading this paper?
0:00:49 > 0:00:51No.
0:00:51 > 0:00:52Do that, then.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54So, I'm writing it all down.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57The Life And Thoughts Of Roy O'Brien.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Because these are the Roy Files.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01Roy!
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Spiders, monsters and big sisters.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09Apart from being hairy, what do all these things have in common?
0:01:09 > 0:01:11That's right, most people find them scary.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14And if you're one of those people, don't feel bad.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Everybody's scared of something.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Even really weird stuff,
0:01:18 > 0:01:19like this teacher we once had.
0:01:19 > 0:01:24Pick up these filthy rubber bands
0:01:24 > 0:01:28and take them very, very far away.
0:01:28 > 0:01:29Yeah, sure.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Ever since I was a young child, I've had a fear of rubber bands.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38And it gets weirder.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41Me da had a sports teacher who was afraid of knees.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43That's true.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Old Cringer Crawford. He couldn't even look at a knee.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49He used to make us play football wearing our jeans.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51We never won a game.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53But we were the coolest team in the league.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56Some fears are a bit more common.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Oh, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy!
0:01:58 > 0:02:00SHE SCREAMS
0:02:00 > 0:02:02I can't say I'm the world's biggest rat fan,
0:02:02 > 0:02:04so I'll give Cathy a pass on that one.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06But what's not to love about a great big dog
0:02:06 > 0:02:07who just wants to play?
0:02:07 > 0:02:09What you want?
0:02:09 > 0:02:10Woof! Woof! Woof!
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Get away from me!
0:02:12 > 0:02:13Stop it! Miss, tell him.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Roy O'Brien, what do you think you're doing?
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Woof! Woof!
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Especially when that adorable mutt is me.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Woof! Woof! Woof!
0:02:21 > 0:02:23If you bite me, I'll sue!
0:02:23 > 0:02:24Roy!
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!
0:02:27 > 0:02:31HE GROWLS
0:02:31 > 0:02:34I don't know. That girl was scared of everything.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Roy! Are you OK?
0:02:39 > 0:02:42HE GROANS
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Rat phobia, dog phobia,
0:02:44 > 0:02:47Tommy reckoned she even had phobophobia.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49That's fear of phobias, by the way.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Says the boy who's frightened of clocks.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54I'm not frightened of clocks.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Apart from that one very scary clock.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00CUCKOO CLOCK CHIMES
0:03:00 > 0:03:03How does a little wooden bird know what time it is? Creepy.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07And have you mentioned your fear of kittens yet?
0:03:07 > 0:03:11That's not fair. Misty wasn't a kitten. She was a cat.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14And not just any cat, she was a witch's cat.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17My brother told me the red-eyed witch is real!
0:03:17 > 0:03:20He knows at least two people who've seen her
0:03:20 > 0:03:22and never saw the light of day again.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Come on. You're having us on.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28They say you can always hear her cat, Misty, just before she arrives
0:03:28 > 0:03:31to take you away forever, man!
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Meow!
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Tragic.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37Some loser kid tells a stupid story about an evil kitten
0:03:37 > 0:03:38and you fall for it
0:03:38 > 0:03:41hook, line and stinker.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43You mean, hook, line and sinker?
0:03:43 > 0:03:44I know what I meant.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47She's the ghost of a woman whose husband died in an accident...
0:03:47 > 0:03:49on their wedding night...
0:03:49 > 0:03:50100 years ago.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Um...Britney, I think her name was.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Yeah, and her husband's name was...
0:03:55 > 0:03:56Tony or something.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59She refused to eat and died of starvation.
0:03:59 > 0:04:03Then she was found locked in a room with just her cat Misty beside her.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Anyway, I wasn't scared.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06I just enjoy a good story.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Oh, really?
0:04:08 > 0:04:14It's not the red-eyed witch. It's not the red-eyed witch.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18Meow!
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Shoo! Get off! Go away!
0:04:23 > 0:04:27OK, maybe I took the story a little seriously.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Who's there? Hello?
0:04:29 > 0:04:35CHURCH BELL RINGS, WIND HOWLS
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Oh, no! The cross of stones!
0:04:37 > 0:04:39A little seriously?
0:04:39 > 0:04:41The red-eyed witch sent Misty to catch me,
0:04:41 > 0:04:45but I don't want to be alone!
0:04:45 > 0:04:48Oh, love, come here.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Take him inside.
0:04:50 > 0:04:51Come on, love.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54Anyway, that's called having a big imagination.
0:04:54 > 0:04:55It's a good thing.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58And don't act like you've never been scared.
0:04:58 > 0:04:59Hello? Police?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Yeah, we need someone over here now.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04There's a monster in our house!
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Yeah, I know it's Halloween,
0:05:07 > 0:05:10but it's not a prank phone call.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Hello?
0:05:12 > 0:05:13Hello?!
0:05:13 > 0:05:14'Hey, you were there, too.'
0:05:14 > 0:05:19HORROR FILM MUSIC PLAYS
0:05:19 > 0:05:21BANGS ON DOOR
0:05:21 > 0:05:24The bathroom! SHE SOBS
0:05:31 > 0:05:34- WHISPERS:- One, two, three.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37THEY SCREAM
0:05:37 > 0:05:41SHE SCREAMS
0:05:41 > 0:05:43- What do we do?- I don't know!
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Oh!
0:05:50 > 0:05:53THEY SCREAM
0:05:53 > 0:05:56OTHERS LAUGH
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Who says we don't know how to scare yous any more?
0:05:59 > 0:06:00That was all a set-up?
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Happy Halloween!
0:06:02 > 0:06:06The scariest thing that night was the bad parenting.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09I think there's something wrong with Roy.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Roy! Roy!
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Up here!
0:06:15 > 0:06:19THEY SCREAM
0:06:19 > 0:06:20What?
0:06:20 > 0:06:23HE SCREAMS Help!
0:06:24 > 0:06:27The Halloween hijinks may have gone a little far that year.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29You think?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31You literally scared your own son out of his skin.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Relax, Miss High-and-mighty.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36I seem to remember a little girl who scared her own brother
0:06:36 > 0:06:38out of his skin, literally.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43HE SCREAMS
0:06:44 > 0:06:46- Roy!- What's going on?
0:06:46 > 0:06:49I was just messing.
0:06:49 > 0:06:50He's scared stiff.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Roy, can you hear me, love?
0:06:52 > 0:06:54We need something to bring him around.
0:06:54 > 0:06:55Biscuits.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02No.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Still not working.
0:07:04 > 0:07:05Chocolate.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08Becky, go downstairs and get that slice of chocolate cake. Now!
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- Wait, that was for my lunch.- Bill!
0:07:14 > 0:07:16I thought that would work.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21I was only messing. Honestly!
0:07:21 > 0:07:25- I was pretending to be the ghoul from the movie.- What movie?
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Roy, can you hear me, love?
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Roy, wake up this minute.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32What happened? Chocolate. Where? Can I have some?
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Roy.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Did you go to see that movie after I told you not to?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Oh, yeah, Ghoul Claw.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41That was one seriously scary film.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44SCARY FILM MUSIC PLAYS
0:07:44 > 0:07:46- Scary.- Cool.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51Yeah, it's supposed to be the scariest movie ever made.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55And my cousin's sister's boyfriend came out the movie with his
0:07:55 > 0:07:58hair turned white
0:07:58 > 0:08:02and they had to take him to the hospital in a coma.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06And now all he can eat is porridge.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10Now that I think about it, the whole scary movie thing is bit mad.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Why do people pay money to frighten themselves on purpose?
0:08:13 > 0:08:16I've got a question here for a smart grown-up!
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Smart grown-up, you called?
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Perhaps I can be of some help?
0:08:21 > 0:08:23You sure can, Ma.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Could you go and find Miss Jervis?
0:08:25 > 0:08:27There she is.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29No worries, Ma.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Why do we like to frighten ourselves with horror films, though?
0:08:32 > 0:08:34That is an interesting question.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36And a subject into which I have undertaken
0:08:36 > 0:08:37more than a little research.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Now, I will keep it simple.
0:08:39 > 0:08:44You see, the primitive id is suppressed by the naturally
0:08:44 > 0:08:46more civilised ego...
0:08:46 > 0:08:47Yeah. Great. Thanks, Miss.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49That is so interesting.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50Not.
0:08:50 > 0:08:51My mistake.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53What we need here is a medical opinion.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Roy, you see, the thing about horror films is
0:08:56 > 0:09:00they're a fun way of scaring ourselves in a safe environment,
0:09:00 > 0:09:02but we're never in any real danger.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04You wouldn't be the first young person to come and see me
0:09:04 > 0:09:07with nightmares after watching a scary movie.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11So, you mean I'm not a scaredy-cat?
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Not at all! Sure, everyone's scared of something.
0:09:14 > 0:09:19I myself am not particularly fond of clowns.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21You're not the only one.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24Can I give you a bit of advice, Roy?
0:09:24 > 0:09:26When grown-ups ask if they can give you advice,
0:09:26 > 0:09:28saying no isn't an option, is it?
0:09:28 > 0:09:29Of course it is, Roy.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31In that case, no, thanks.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33I should really be getting on.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Well, anyway, here's the advice.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39If you ever find yourself surrounded by a gang of angry clowns,
0:09:39 > 0:09:41there's only one thing to do.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Well, what is it?
0:09:44 > 0:09:46Go straight for the juggler!
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Do you get it?
0:09:48 > 0:09:50The juggler. Like jugular, yeah?
0:09:50 > 0:09:53The external vein that runs superficially
0:09:53 > 0:09:55to the sternocleidomastoid. No?
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Oh.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Strange. They loved that one at the medical convention.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04Dr Rashid, the comedian? Now, that is scary.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Not Ghoul Claw scary, though.
0:10:07 > 0:10:08Bring it on.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11HORROR FILM MUSIC PLAYS
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Of course, I wasn't really frightened.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14The claw!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16HE SCREAMS
0:10:18 > 0:10:21- Roy! - HE SCREAMS
0:10:24 > 0:10:27I mean, it was just a movie, right?
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Once I was out of the cinema, I forgot all about that monster
0:10:30 > 0:10:31in the woods.
0:10:31 > 0:10:32That's not the way I remember it.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Doesn't anybody knock any more?
0:10:35 > 0:10:38How do you knock on a thought bubble?
0:10:38 > 0:10:40And stop trying to change the subject.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42HORROR FILM MUSIC PLAYS
0:10:42 > 0:10:44HE SCREAMS
0:10:46 > 0:10:49Roy. Roy, it's OK, son.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52Roy, it's just a dream! It's not real.
0:10:52 > 0:10:53Roy. Shh!
0:10:53 > 0:10:57Roy, there's no such thing as ghouls or ghosts, love.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59- Really?- Yeah.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01HE MUMBLES, SNORES
0:11:01 > 0:11:03- Good boy.- Great.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06I'll leave the light on for you, Roy, right?
0:11:06 > 0:11:07Huh?
0:11:14 > 0:11:19HORROR FILM MUSIC PLAYS
0:11:19 > 0:11:22HE SCREAMS
0:11:22 > 0:11:23You go in!
0:11:23 > 0:11:26You brought him to that movie.
0:11:26 > 0:11:30- I have to drive in the morning! You go.- Get out!
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Roy, Roy, I have to sleep, son.
0:11:38 > 0:11:39Roy!
0:11:39 > 0:11:44Now, Roy, look, it's just a dream, son, all right?
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Try and think of nice things when you go back to sleep this time.
0:11:48 > 0:11:49- OK?- OK.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52- Right.- Nice things, yeah.- Yeah.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55HE SNORES
0:11:59 > 0:12:03HORROR FILM MUSIC PLAYS
0:12:03 > 0:12:07HE SCREAMS
0:12:07 > 0:12:09- BOTH:- Shut up!
0:12:09 > 0:12:13Admit it, Roy. You're just a big scaredy-cat.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15OK, fine.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18I admit it. Sometimes I get scared.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20But so would you if you'd seen what I've seen,
0:12:20 > 0:12:24and I'm not talking about scary movies or stories.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28I'm talking about real monsters that walk among us.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Oh, yeah? Like what?
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Didn't sleep a wink.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38It is alive!
0:12:38 > 0:12:41That's it, just wait until I tell them about the time you were...
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Sorry, sis. We're running out of time.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46So, plenty to think about when it comes to fears and phobias.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Keep to these simple rules and you'll be fine.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Remember, you can't be brave unless you're a little scared
0:12:52 > 0:12:55in the first place, and sometimes, being scared can be a good thing.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Like, if you don't want to get in the bath
0:12:57 > 0:13:00because instead of being full of water, it's full of gorillas.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Then being scared is actually pretty smart.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06That's not a great example, but you get the idea.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Oh, and if something gives you a bit of a fright,
0:13:09 > 0:13:11it can be a good idea to face that fear
0:13:11 > 0:13:14so it doesn't get too big in your head.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Which reminds me, I'm off to the cinema.
0:13:17 > 0:13:18Two tickets for...
0:13:18 > 0:13:20No, that's not it.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22CLEARS THROAT
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Two tickets for Ghoul Claw 13, please.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27Nailed it! See yous!