The Man Who Never Was

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0:00:02 > 0:00:0513 Bannerman Road is where Sarah Jane Smith lives.

0:00:05 > 0:00:08It's home to things way beyond your imagination.

0:00:09 > 0:00:13There's an extraterrestrial supercomputer in the wall,

0:00:13 > 0:00:16her son, a genetically-engineered boy genius.

0:00:16 > 0:00:19A schoolgirl investigator across the road,

0:00:19 > 0:00:21her adopted daughter from another world,

0:00:21 > 0:00:25and a whole universe of adventure right here on the doorstep.

0:00:41 > 0:00:43Ready?

0:00:43 > 0:00:45Always.

0:00:48 > 0:00:50BELL TINGS

0:00:50 > 0:00:53Hi, I'm Joseph Serf.

0:00:53 > 0:00:57I'm here to introduce the SerfBoard, from Serf Systems.

0:00:57 > 0:01:00The world's newest and best portable computer.

0:01:00 > 0:01:05The 15th at 5pm, put it in your diary.

0:01:05 > 0:01:09The day the SerfBoard arrives and the revolution begins.

0:01:09 > 0:01:12Billions of dollars of research and development...

0:01:12 > 0:01:15Where's my billion dollars, Mr Serf?

0:01:18 > 0:01:22Excuse me, did I say device? I mean friend.

0:01:22 > 0:01:26From the 15th, the world will have another question to ask...

0:01:26 > 0:01:28STRANGE GIBBERING

0:01:30 > 0:01:31Hello?

0:01:31 > 0:01:33GIGGLING

0:01:40 > 0:01:42Hello?

0:01:42 > 0:01:45BANGING

0:01:45 > 0:01:46LIFT BELL RINGS

0:01:51 > 0:01:52Idiot!

0:01:52 > 0:01:54GIBBERING

0:01:56 > 0:01:57Ah!

0:01:57 > 0:02:00Do you want to see tomorrow, today?

0:02:18 > 0:02:21- Morning, Sky.- Well, I think I've got everything he wants.

0:02:21 > 0:02:25"Oh, it doesn't matter, Mum." He says and then, when he turns up,

0:02:25 > 0:02:28straight to the fridge and "Why haven't we got bacon?"

0:02:28 > 0:02:32Let him starve. When I went up to Oxford, the cupboards were bare.

0:02:33 > 0:02:36- Are you all right, Sky? - Just a little nervous.

0:02:36 > 0:02:40I'm meeting Luke face-to-face, not just on the screen.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44You couldn't have a better brother.

0:02:49 > 0:02:51Right.

0:02:51 > 0:02:52Yeah.

0:02:52 > 0:02:54Not my room anymore.

0:03:03 > 0:03:07- Luke! Oh, welcome home!- Hi, Mum.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11Hi, Clani. Don't call us that.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13Clani? Who's Clani?

0:03:13 > 0:03:15Clyde, Rani - Clani.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17- It's meant to be funny. - You can't keep away.

0:03:17 > 0:03:22- Luke, meet Sky. In person.- Sky.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24Hi. Hi, Sky.

0:03:24 > 0:03:26You're taller than you look on webcam.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29Yes. Yes, I am.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33Sorry, I just went in your room. Forgot it wasn't mine anymore.

0:03:33 > 0:03:37- It's the best room and you don't live here anymore.- It's fine.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39It's really fine.

0:03:40 > 0:03:45Hey! Finally, face-to-face.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47It's the clash of the nerds.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49Sky, behold my greatest success.

0:03:49 > 0:03:52Frankenbane's monster, now a normal human student,

0:03:52 > 0:03:56living off Pot Noodles and rising at 12 sharp

0:03:56 > 0:03:59- to watch Loose Women. - Yeah, shut up.

0:03:59 > 0:04:03- Sky, I really hope we can be friends. - Of course we'll be friends.

0:04:03 > 0:04:06I suppose we're sort of brother and sister.

0:04:06 > 0:04:08- Tea?- Yeah.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13Oh, I had to leave K-9 back at uni. But look,

0:04:13 > 0:04:15I made...this.

0:04:16 > 0:04:20- Dog whistle, cos you never know. - What's he doing up there?

0:04:20 > 0:04:24He's backing up the Bodleian Library, the whole lot.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27- He wouldn't come back with me. - Oh, good...ness me.

0:04:27 > 0:04:30- What a terrible shame(!) - Oi, Mr Smith. Don't be nasty.

0:04:30 > 0:04:34We could always swap you for another computer, like the SerfBoard.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37- I hardly think- that - would be a good exchange.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39It's the launch this afternoon, at 5.

0:04:41 > 0:04:44'..affordable device. Excuse me, did I say device?

0:04:44 > 0:04:47- 'I mean...'- Nobody knows what it does when you switch it on.

0:04:47 > 0:04:49The rumours say everything.

0:04:49 > 0:04:52There's a rehearsal this morning. Just three of the country's

0:04:52 > 0:04:55very top journalists have been invited to watch.

0:04:55 > 0:04:58Do you know any of them? Could you blag us in?

0:04:58 > 0:05:01Er, I said just the top journalists have been invited.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04Yeah, so what if we swap a ticket?

0:05:04 > 0:05:09I mean me. Me! What do you think pays for all this?

0:05:09 > 0:05:10Taking in washing?

0:05:10 > 0:05:14Sorry, I just didn't think it was your kind of a story.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17- Yeah, almost good enough, Rani. - I am not going to miss that!

0:05:17 > 0:05:20Who said you're going to miss it? Homecoming treat.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23- I'm not missing it either. - You can come too, Sky.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25And?

0:05:25 > 0:05:28Oh, I'm sorry. That's all I could manage.

0:05:28 > 0:05:31I shouldn't really be taking anyone. Highly unprofessional.

0:05:31 > 0:05:33So unfair.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36Sorry, Clani. Family outing.

0:05:38 > 0:05:42Basically, we blab anything about the SerfBoard before the actual release,

0:05:42 > 0:05:44and they sue us to death.

0:05:44 > 0:05:47- But what if I disagree with the terms and conditions?- They're fine.

0:05:47 > 0:05:52- Just sign it.- Believe me, if HE says they're fine, they're fine.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54Whatever you say.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56Sarah Jane Smith!

0:05:58 > 0:06:02Let me drink you in, as lovely as ever!

0:06:03 > 0:06:06Oh, Luke, Sky? Lionel Carson.

0:06:06 > 0:06:10- An old, old fried.- I could have been so much more. Now I am a ruin.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12You remain a paragon.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15Lionel was my editor when I first started on the nationals,

0:06:15 > 0:06:20- then he moved on to food and wine. - Why are you covering the SerfBoard?

0:06:20 > 0:06:23I pulled rank to impress my grandchildren.

0:06:23 > 0:06:26I've met the great Mr Serf.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29I leave the technical stuff to you young people.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31I can't abide computers.

0:06:31 > 0:06:34Nothing wrong with a typewriter, says I.

0:06:34 > 0:06:37- What's a typewriter?- Goodness me!

0:06:37 > 0:06:40Make me feel even more old-fashioned, why don't you?

0:06:40 > 0:06:43Oh, you were already old-fashioned when I was new-fangled.

0:06:43 > 0:06:44My son and my daughter.

0:06:46 > 0:06:50Sorry to keep you waiting. Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

0:06:50 > 0:06:54I'm John Harrison. Serf Systems public relations.

0:06:54 > 0:06:58The rehearsal's about to begin, so if you'd like to follow me up.

0:06:58 > 0:07:02Well, that's us. Would you care to accompany me,

0:07:02 > 0:07:06oh radiant one, in memory of what might have been?

0:07:06 > 0:07:09Oh, go on then!

0:07:09 > 0:07:11LOW THRUMMING

0:07:11 > 0:07:14- Luke, can you feel that?- Feel what?

0:07:14 > 0:07:16Like electricity building up.

0:07:16 > 0:07:20- It's strong. - Probably just a storm on the way.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22No, this is different. Strange.

0:07:23 > 0:07:29And I shall say, "Please say hi to Joseph Serf."

0:07:29 > 0:07:31And cue Mr Serf.

0:07:37 > 0:07:40- Not half bad in the flesh. - He's like you, Sarah Jane.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43He's got charisma.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46Thank you, John. Then I'll say, "Pleased to meet you."

0:07:46 > 0:07:48And then I'll do this.

0:07:48 > 0:07:52Whoa, who's that beautiful guy?

0:07:52 > 0:07:55Yes, very good, sir. Very spontaneous.

0:07:55 > 0:07:58- What next?- You stand there, sir,

0:07:58 > 0:08:02and your close-ups will be in camera three.

0:08:02 > 0:08:06- Is the teleprompter in the right position?- Yeah, it looks good to me.

0:08:06 > 0:08:10- And then straight into the spiel? - Straight into the spiel.

0:08:11 > 0:08:17The SerfBoard will revolutionise the way we work, the way we play.

0:08:17 > 0:08:21Every home should have one. Soon, every home WILL have one.

0:08:21 > 0:08:22That's perfect, sir.

0:08:22 > 0:08:29And then the attendees will each be given a SerfBoard, like so.

0:08:31 > 0:08:34The SerfBoard. Take it home,

0:08:34 > 0:08:36press go, play and learn.

0:08:38 > 0:08:42It's a phenomenon and you're going to love it.

0:08:42 > 0:08:45- You're going to love it. - "Why wait?" Is my motto.

0:08:45 > 0:08:49Download, browse, photos, books, anything.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51You're going to love it.

0:08:52 > 0:08:57It's the future. It's tomorrow. And you love it.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01You want one, you need one.

0:09:01 > 0:09:05Everybody wants one, Everybody's got to get one.

0:09:05 > 0:09:08- Did you see that?- Yeah.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11- That's impossible.- Er, excuse me?

0:09:11 > 0:09:13Can we have a little bit of hush, please?

0:09:13 > 0:09:16- But, Sarah Jane...- Quiet, Sky.

0:09:16 > 0:09:20- But you DID see that? - Yes, but no-one else did.

0:09:20 > 0:09:24It's tomorrow and you love it.

0:09:26 > 0:09:30It's so easy to use. He was right.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32It's revolution, it's beautiful.

0:09:32 > 0:09:35- I love it.- Well, it must be good to impress you.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37I never saw the point of computers,

0:09:37 > 0:09:43- but this is so easy to use. I'll see you at the launch.- Bye.

0:09:44 > 0:09:48Oh, look what you've got! Hurrah for Mum!

0:09:48 > 0:09:50Hurrah...for Mum.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53Something weird happened in there, to Mr Serf.

0:09:53 > 0:09:57- What are you talking about? - Mum, he glitched.- He what?

0:09:57 > 0:09:59Just for a moment, he flickered.

0:09:59 > 0:10:01Right, back home. We need to check this out.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04What if I stay, look for more glitches?

0:10:04 > 0:10:07There could be others like Serf, whatever he is.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09- Good idea. Where to start?- Oh, no.

0:10:09 > 0:10:13- Luke is old enough to look after himself.- And I'm not?

0:10:13 > 0:10:16- No, you're not. Sorry. - You be careful.

0:10:16 > 0:10:18Come on, Sky. Home.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23Right. Let's have look at you, my beauty.

0:10:23 > 0:10:27No, Clyde. Wait. We should check it out first.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29Only Luke and me saw it happen.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31Well, Luke's got superior senses

0:10:31 > 0:10:35and Sky's sensitive to electrical fluctuations, however tiny.

0:10:35 > 0:10:37Mr Smith, tap into the digital database.

0:10:37 > 0:10:38The rehearsal was recorded,

0:10:38 > 0:10:42so somebody at Serf must have sent the movie file. Get us a copy.

0:10:42 > 0:10:46That may take some considerable time, Sarah Jane. Here you are.

0:10:46 > 0:10:50Hey! You're doing that on purpose now.

0:10:50 > 0:10:54It was when Serf was saying everybody will want a SerfBoard.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59'Everybody wants one. Everybody's got to get...'

0:10:59 > 0:11:05Freeze it between frame 4:34:21 and 23.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11- There's nothing there. You imagined it.- I did not!

0:11:11 > 0:11:16- Roll back a tenth of a frame, Mr Smith.- Time flexing applied.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20- That's impossible.- Enhancing.

0:11:22 > 0:11:25That's not the recording, that's him. The picture didn't move.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27That's what I've been telling you.

0:11:27 > 0:11:31I'm getting just a bit suspicious and preparing to say the A-word.

0:11:31 > 0:11:33- What A-word?- Aliens.

0:11:33 > 0:11:37Mr Smith, give us all you've got on Joseph Serf. What is he?

0:11:37 > 0:11:39Joseph Samuel Serf.

0:11:39 > 0:11:43Born Dayton, Ohio, 25th May 1972.

0:11:43 > 0:11:46Graduated Harvard 1993.

0:11:46 > 0:11:50Founded Serf Systems, then completely disappeared from public view

0:11:50 > 0:11:55after a near-fatal skiing accident in Val d'Isere in 2007.

0:11:55 > 0:12:00Following this, he became famously reclusive. No interviews or pictures.

0:12:00 > 0:12:03The only images available after this date

0:12:03 > 0:12:06are these publicity photographs.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09Look. In all these photographs,

0:12:09 > 0:12:13he never once holds anything He never touches anybody.

0:12:13 > 0:12:17- So what, he's a hologram? - No, more than that.

0:12:17 > 0:12:20He walks, talks, interacts with people. He's amazing.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23This technology, it's fantastic.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25But he sits down, he gets into cars.

0:12:25 > 0:12:28It's like a photo, you can fold it up and move it around.

0:12:28 > 0:12:32Oi-oi, who's that guy that's always right next to him? Who's he?

0:12:32 > 0:12:36John Harrison. PR for Serf Systems.

0:12:36 > 0:12:40The skiing accident. The real Serf died. He was replaced.

0:12:40 > 0:12:41And shortly afterwards,

0:12:41 > 0:12:44Serf Systems began the development of the SerfBoard.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47Oh, wait. Lionel.

0:12:47 > 0:12:52He hates computers. The moment he switched that on, he raved about it.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54What if it's got some sort of hypnotic power?

0:12:54 > 0:12:59- Well, they replaced Serf and took over his company.- But why?

0:12:59 > 0:13:01- What's this all for? - And today's the launch.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04A SerfBoard in every home. You can count me out.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06Mr Smith, deep scan.

0:13:06 > 0:13:10Full spectrum analysis. Let's see what Luke finds out.

0:13:11 > 0:13:16While we wait, I want an interview with Mr Serf.

0:13:16 > 0:13:20- But he doesn't give interviews, ever.- Watch and learn, Rani.

0:13:23 > 0:13:26Mr Serf does not give interviews, Miss Smith.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29'Oh, but the SerfBoard is just amazing.'

0:13:29 > 0:13:31I have to do a personal follow-up with Mr Serf.

0:13:31 > 0:13:34'You are invited to the launch later.'

0:13:34 > 0:13:36Oh, but if I could just speak to Mr Serf?

0:13:36 > 0:13:40Just to tell him there are no "glitches".

0:13:42 > 0:13:44Go on, Miss Smith.

0:13:44 > 0:13:49Well, Mr Serf seems so warm, so real, so...natural.

0:13:49 > 0:13:51I'm sure my readers would like to get to know

0:13:51 > 0:13:53such a genuine human being.

0:13:53 > 0:13:57Well, that's different, Miss Smith. Please come right over.

0:13:57 > 0:13:59That's marvellous. I'll see you soon.

0:14:00 > 0:14:04- One of the country's top journalists.- Wow, Sarah Jane.

0:14:04 > 0:14:08- Just wow.- Isn't it a bit dangerous, though? They know you know.

0:14:08 > 0:14:12Oh, I know they know I know. That's the only way to get in.

0:14:12 > 0:14:16And they know you know they know you know.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19Sometimes, that's best. I need to bring Serf Systems into the open.

0:14:19 > 0:14:21Find out what they're planning.

0:14:21 > 0:14:25And you need me. I saw the glitch and I might see something else.

0:14:25 > 0:14:30- What, another family outing? - Yeah, OK. No, no, you wait here.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33Find out what Mr Smith makes of that. Come on, let's go.

0:14:39 > 0:14:41What's up?

0:14:41 > 0:14:44Oh, it's daft, but I feel like it's watching us.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50- How's the spying?- I checked the car park, the reception,

0:14:50 > 0:14:53got a coffee from the machine, but nothing. No glitching, nothing weird.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55It's time for your interview.

0:14:55 > 0:14:59OK. Meet you both back here in half an hour.

0:15:01 > 0:15:05Miss Smith, I hear you're a fan of the Board.

0:15:05 > 0:15:12- I certainly am, Mr Serf. Call me Sarah Jane.- Joseph.

0:15:13 > 0:15:17- I'm sorry. I can't shake your hand. - Oh, really?

0:15:17 > 0:15:22- Why ever not?- Mr Serf suffers from an acute peanut allergy.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24I haven't been eating nuts.

0:15:24 > 0:15:26But you might have been in a nutty environment.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28Can't be too careful.

0:15:28 > 0:15:31Oh, I'm so sorry. How very convenient.

0:15:31 > 0:15:33Of course, I mean inconvenient.

0:15:33 > 0:15:37Does Mr Harrison need to be here, Joseph?

0:15:37 > 0:15:42Erm, actually, I'd prefer to stay.

0:15:42 > 0:15:45After all, I'd hate there to be any more "glitches".

0:15:45 > 0:15:48Oh, with you around, Mr Harrison,

0:15:48 > 0:15:50I'm sure everything will run like clockwork.

0:15:50 > 0:15:53I pride myself I can deal with any old spanners

0:15:53 > 0:15:56that get into those works.

0:15:56 > 0:15:59Erm, before we start, could I get something to drink?

0:15:59 > 0:16:01I'm parched.

0:16:01 > 0:16:05Certainly, Miss Smith. Tea, coffee, anthrax?

0:16:05 > 0:16:06- What was that?- Nothing.

0:16:06 > 0:16:09HE LAUGHS

0:16:10 > 0:16:13No, I'll just have water, please.

0:16:15 > 0:16:16Nice, clear water

0:16:16 > 0:16:20- that I can see right through. - Coming right up.

0:16:20 > 0:16:23Wouldn't you like some, Joseph? It's hot in here.

0:16:23 > 0:16:27I'm fine, thank you. Now, let's talk about the SerfBoard.

0:16:27 > 0:16:30Yes, let's.

0:16:30 > 0:16:33- MR SMITH:- Deep scan complete.

0:16:33 > 0:16:35Ooh, tell us the worst.

0:16:35 > 0:16:39The SerfBoard is a standard, low specification laptop computer.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42- And?- That is all.- Well, it can't be.

0:16:42 > 0:16:44The hologram, the big launch tonight.

0:16:44 > 0:16:46- One in every home.- Hold on.

0:16:51 > 0:16:55(What if it's got him?)

0:16:55 > 0:16:59I can hear you, Clyde, and no, it hasn't "got me".

0:16:59 > 0:17:02It's not the first time you've said something was OK

0:17:02 > 0:17:05and it turned out to be deadly. Remember the Rakweed?

0:17:05 > 0:17:07Eh, leave it alone!

0:17:07 > 0:17:11- We wait for the others to get back. - But there's not much time.

0:17:11 > 0:17:14How are you going to feel when everyone's going,

0:17:14 > 0:17:17- "Serve the computer".- Clyde.

0:17:17 > 0:17:20- No. - Oh, come on, the clock's ticking.

0:17:20 > 0:17:23- Let's switch it on, see what it does. - OK, but we do it my way.

0:17:23 > 0:17:25We take precautions.

0:17:27 > 0:17:31The implication for global communications...

0:17:31 > 0:17:34Ooh, butter fingers!

0:17:34 > 0:17:37Would you mind picking that up for me, Joseph?

0:17:37 > 0:17:40Oh, please, Miss Smith.

0:17:40 > 0:17:41Do use mine.

0:17:48 > 0:17:49An electrical surge?

0:17:49 > 0:17:53No, it feels strange. Coming from down below.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55We'll tell Mum when she gets back.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57LIFT PINGS

0:17:57 > 0:17:59Let's take a look.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01Come on, it's what you always do.

0:18:01 > 0:18:05- I'll go. You go back to the car. - Not a chance.- Sky!

0:18:07 > 0:18:09Going down.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12- How's the liking each other thing going now?- I'll let you know.

0:18:15 > 0:18:17COMPUTER PLAYS A TUNE

0:18:21 > 0:18:24- Hey, it was my idea! - Yeah, but it needs a delicate touch.

0:18:24 > 0:18:28Well, I'm delicate. In a very manly way.

0:18:28 > 0:18:30I've got artists fingers.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33SHE LAUGHS

0:18:33 > 0:18:37Just like the old days. You and me. Having a laugh.

0:18:37 > 0:18:42- Yeah, I meant to say, all that stuff with Ellie...- It's OK.

0:18:44 > 0:18:46Right, let's do this.

0:18:48 > 0:18:50COMPUTER PLAYS A TUNE

0:18:58 > 0:19:00SCREECHING

0:19:00 > 0:19:03OK, I can't sense the electrical surge,

0:19:03 > 0:19:04but I can hear that.

0:19:04 > 0:19:08- Coming from further down. - But this is the bottom floor.

0:19:08 > 0:19:13Unless there's an override command. I can reverse-intuit the code.

0:19:17 > 0:19:18LIFT PINGS

0:19:18 > 0:19:20Knew it.

0:19:24 > 0:19:30- There's nothing. Really, nothing. I'm going to take these off.- Careful!

0:19:33 > 0:19:35In fact, it's more than a bit rubbish.

0:19:35 > 0:19:38It's bog standard. What's so special about this?

0:19:38 > 0:19:41It's not the Board itself. That's normal.

0:19:41 > 0:19:44- It looks cool, that's all. - What did I tell you?

0:19:44 > 0:19:47Then, what is going on?

0:19:57 > 0:19:59Down here.

0:20:19 > 0:20:24SCREECHING

0:20:29 > 0:20:32Whatever it is, it's through there.

0:20:34 > 0:20:37- It is the functionality... - That's Mum.

0:20:37 > 0:20:42I mean, you've revolutionised the entire concept of...

0:20:42 > 0:20:45Our team of specialists made improving the functionality

0:20:45 > 0:20:47their number one priority.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50So, you must have been amazed, Joseph,

0:20:50 > 0:20:54when you got your hand on the keyboard for the first time.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57I mean, to see your dreams made into a solid reality.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59I'd love to tell my readers how that felt.

0:20:59 > 0:21:02From your...unique point of view.

0:21:02 > 0:21:06It was a great moment. I always had faith in my tech guys.

0:21:15 > 0:21:18Keep up! Keep up!

0:21:25 > 0:21:28Well, ideas can be so intangible, can't they?

0:21:28 > 0:21:30Oh, dear, what am I saying?

0:21:30 > 0:21:33That's OK, Miss Smith.

0:21:33 > 0:21:34Smile!

0:21:41 > 0:21:43Joseph, are you all right?

0:21:43 > 0:21:45Keep up! Keep up!

0:21:49 > 0:21:53Oh! Keep up, keep up!

0:21:54 > 0:21:58We all say thongs we don't moan.

0:22:00 > 0:22:02Spelling! Spelling!

0:22:04 > 0:22:07Forgove me. Things we don't mean.

0:22:10 > 0:22:12Keep trying and smile again!

0:22:17 > 0:22:20Thoughtful smile, not sexy smile!

0:22:26 > 0:22:29- It's incredible. - They're controlling him.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32Everything he says and does, it's them.

0:22:41 > 0:22:42What else do you want to know?

0:22:42 > 0:22:44Ooh!

0:22:44 > 0:22:46Spillage! Emergency stand!

0:22:47 > 0:22:49Steady on, bum!

0:22:50 > 0:22:55And one, two, three and up!

0:22:59 > 0:23:01Quick, crease fabric!

0:23:04 > 0:23:06I'm so sorry.

0:23:06 > 0:23:09What a clumsy clot you are, Miss Smith.

0:23:09 > 0:23:14One of our country's most famously shrewd journalists

0:23:14 > 0:23:18is apparently such a loveable scatterbrain.

0:23:18 > 0:23:20Well, Miss Moth...

0:23:23 > 0:23:26Miss Smith, what else do you want to know?

0:23:26 > 0:23:32- I just hope I can stop embarrassing myself for a start.- Hypno to ten.

0:23:32 > 0:23:35Hypno power to ten! Hypno power to ten!

0:23:35 > 0:23:37She must trust! She must trust!

0:23:37 > 0:23:39Mum!

0:23:42 > 0:23:45You love the SerfBoard, Sarah Jane.

0:23:45 > 0:23:49It's the most amazing computer you've ever seen.

0:23:49 > 0:23:50Stronger, hypno! Stronger, hypno!

0:23:55 > 0:24:00And I am the most amazing man you've ever seen.

0:24:00 > 0:24:04Yes, yes, you're such a handsome man, Mr Serf.

0:24:06 > 0:24:10But I'm an old hand at hypnotism and when it comes to men,

0:24:10 > 0:24:13I actually prefer something I can grab hold of.

0:24:13 > 0:24:14Got you!

0:24:14 > 0:24:17Failure! Light structure failed!

0:24:17 > 0:24:20Failed! Stand down. Await orders.

0:24:23 > 0:24:26This is alien technology.

0:24:28 > 0:24:32And it's pretty erratic.

0:24:32 > 0:24:34Alien technology?

0:24:34 > 0:24:38You mean, something that's not made on this planet. Like this?

0:24:42 > 0:24:48- One false move, Miss Smith, and you are dead.- Mum! No!

0:24:48 > 0:24:50Intruders!

0:24:50 > 0:24:51SHE SCREAMS

0:25:02 > 0:25:04- You!- Please, let her go!

0:25:04 > 0:25:08She's my sister. She's just a child, please!

0:25:08 > 0:25:10You! You!

0:25:10 > 0:25:11They're going to kill us.

0:25:12 > 0:25:15You must escape! Run!

0:25:16 > 0:25:19What? What?!

0:25:19 > 0:25:22What do you know? Who do you work for?

0:25:22 > 0:25:24Oh, Mr Harrison.

0:25:24 > 0:25:27This is not exactly a new experience for me.

0:25:27 > 0:25:30'You're not going to fire that gun.'

0:25:30 > 0:25:35- Do you want to bet?- I don't think you've ever fired that gun.- No.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38But there's a first time for everything!

0:25:39 > 0:25:43I'm walking out now. You won't stop me.

0:25:43 > 0:25:45Sky, what are you doing?!

0:25:46 > 0:25:50SERF WHOOPS AND SQUEAKS

0:25:50 > 0:25:52Grab her!

0:25:54 > 0:25:59Lipstick that bites? How very interesting.

0:25:59 > 0:26:00MR SERF CHIRRUPS

0:26:00 > 0:26:03Berr berr berr berr berr.

0:26:03 > 0:26:07- 'What are you doing down there?!' - Berr berr berr berr berr.

0:26:07 > 0:26:10Level five, PUNISH!

0:26:10 > 0:26:11DEVICE EMITS PIERCING WAIL

0:26:11 > 0:26:13ALL: Aaaarrghh!

0:26:13 > 0:26:17- Luke, make it stop, make it stop! - I can't!

0:26:17 > 0:26:21Ooooh, ooohh...

0:26:21 > 0:26:23Work, work!

0:26:25 > 0:26:30I'm sorry. I...must have blunked out there for a second.

0:26:30 > 0:26:32My goadness, what's happening?

0:26:32 > 0:26:38Plark, forget it. It's too late now!

0:26:38 > 0:26:40What are they doing in there?

0:26:42 > 0:26:43- Oh, no!- Emergency!

0:26:43 > 0:26:45Intruders in Light Chamber!

0:26:45 > 0:26:47Luke, Sky, get out of there!

0:26:47 > 0:26:50Run, run, run!

0:26:50 > 0:26:52Come on!

0:26:52 > 0:26:55ALARM BUZZES

0:26:58 > 0:26:59Argh!

0:26:59 > 0:27:05- Should be back by now. Come on, Luke, answer!- Sky, answer, come on!

0:27:05 > 0:27:08'Oh, pick it up for once, Sarah Jane!'

0:27:10 > 0:27:12- That's my phone! - Welcome to the club.

0:27:12 > 0:27:14I've had seven in the last two years.

0:27:14 > 0:27:19- Sarah Jane!- Mum! - Thank goodness you're all right!

0:27:19 > 0:27:23Bizarre! I expected high-class industrial spies,

0:27:23 > 0:27:24not Mumsnet(!)

0:27:24 > 0:27:28- Mum, the hologram.- There are aliens working it. They're slaves!

0:27:28 > 0:27:29Coming, Master!

0:27:31 > 0:27:33Plark.

0:27:33 > 0:27:34Master?

0:27:34 > 0:27:37You let these human children roam free!

0:27:37 > 0:27:40- Master, no, please, master! - Level seven,

0:27:40 > 0:27:43- PUNISH!- Master! Aagghhh!

0:27:43 > 0:27:45Stop it!

0:27:45 > 0:27:47PLARK SCREAMS

0:27:47 > 0:27:52- You're hurting these creatures! - Poor little Skullions?

0:27:52 > 0:27:56Read my lips, Pollyanna. I. Don't. Care.

0:27:56 > 0:27:58Plark, get back to work!

0:27:58 > 0:28:00Thank you, Master. Love master!

0:28:01 > 0:28:04- What are you doing to them? - The Skullions?

0:28:04 > 0:28:07They merely need a firm hand.

0:28:07 > 0:28:10Listen, I can help you and help them, I can get them home.

0:28:10 > 0:28:12I don't need your help, I'm doing fine!

0:28:12 > 0:28:15They're intelligent, you can't treat them like that!

0:28:15 > 0:28:18- Can't I? I paid enough for them. - You BOUGHT them?!

0:28:18 > 0:28:23A ship crash-landed in Central Asia. The survivors were put up for sale.

0:28:23 > 0:28:27- What do you mean, "up for sale"? - Oh, didn't you know?

0:28:27 > 0:28:31There's a black market in alien species. If you know where to look.

0:28:31 > 0:28:35They're smuggled across Europe in crates, then across the Channel.

0:28:35 > 0:28:39A slave trade in aliens. Packing them up in boxes, torturing them.

0:28:39 > 0:28:43It's appalling! I can't believe anybody could be so...

0:28:43 > 0:28:45Successful?

0:28:45 > 0:28:48Ha-ha-ha! You're so naive.

0:28:48 > 0:28:52- This is the way the world works. - Not in my world!

0:28:52 > 0:28:56Yes, it is. Money is exchanged for goods and services.

0:28:56 > 0:29:00Plenty of bidders at auction, but I paid millions.

0:29:00 > 0:29:04- To make billions. - It's disgusting. You're disgusting!

0:29:04 > 0:29:06I do my best.

0:29:06 > 0:29:10I'm beginning to understand this. There's nothing special

0:29:10 > 0:29:14- about the Serf Board, is there? - It's rubbish, yes.

0:29:14 > 0:29:17It's not the board, it's Serf, the hologram. He's hypnotic.

0:29:17 > 0:29:20- He can make you desperate to buy one.- Very good, carry on.

0:29:20 > 0:29:24In a few hours, the launch... it'll be televised the world over.

0:29:24 > 0:29:27Serf hypnotises the entire world to buy a Serf Board.

0:29:27 > 0:29:31And you make a fortune! That's all it is. The slaves...just money!

0:29:31 > 0:29:33Just profit!

0:29:33 > 0:29:35Shock, horror(!)

0:29:35 > 0:29:38Right, enough debate!

0:29:38 > 0:29:40Put the kids in storage five.

0:29:40 > 0:29:42No, you leave my children alone!

0:29:42 > 0:29:45- Luke, you look after her!- I will!

0:29:45 > 0:29:50- You dare harm my children... - I'll deal with them, and you, later.

0:29:50 > 0:29:52After the launch.

0:29:52 > 0:29:53This way.

0:29:53 > 0:29:56I'm going to stop this. I am going to stop you.

0:29:56 > 0:29:59What are you going to do? Hit me with your handbag(?)

0:30:03 > 0:30:05Are you hurting them?

0:30:05 > 0:30:08Are you hurting the little people?

0:30:09 > 0:30:12You are SCUM!

0:30:12 > 0:30:16Hold on, hold on! I'm a prisoner just like you!

0:30:16 > 0:30:19The aliens aren't bad, Harrison is.

0:30:19 > 0:30:22How could he do that? It just makes me so ANGRY!

0:30:22 > 0:30:25Humans used other humans as slaves for centuries.

0:30:25 > 0:30:27Every culture, the world over.

0:30:27 > 0:30:29Nobody challenged them until a few hundred years ago.

0:30:29 > 0:30:32And in some places it still goes on.

0:30:32 > 0:30:37- Is this what humans are like? - Not all of them.

0:30:37 > 0:30:39Come here.

0:30:41 > 0:30:44I can sleep somewhere else in the house.

0:30:44 > 0:30:45What?

0:30:47 > 0:30:50If you want your room back.

0:30:50 > 0:30:52I think it upset you but...

0:30:52 > 0:30:55you're not telling me.

0:30:55 > 0:30:57It doesn't matter.

0:30:57 > 0:30:59And this isn't the time!

0:31:00 > 0:31:04This morning, a little man pulled me into the lift.

0:31:04 > 0:31:06The guards came, they hurt him.

0:31:06 > 0:31:10I saw others, many others.

0:31:11 > 0:31:13The guards locked me away.

0:31:13 > 0:31:17The Skullions. One of them must have tried to escape.

0:31:17 > 0:31:18They must be desperate.

0:31:18 > 0:31:20They are dying...

0:31:20 > 0:31:21and we will die here, too.

0:31:21 > 0:31:24No! We're going to get out of here!

0:31:24 > 0:31:27And the little people, we MUST help them!

0:31:27 > 0:31:29Sarah Jane Smith.

0:31:31 > 0:31:33Adriana Petrescu.

0:31:33 > 0:31:37Adriana, you've just restored my faith in the human race!

0:31:37 > 0:31:40In just two hours time the Serf Board will be revealed to the world,

0:31:40 > 0:31:42'right here at Serf Systems.

0:31:42 > 0:31:45'The eyes of the world will be on this building.

0:31:45 > 0:31:47'After months of rumours, leaks -

0:31:47 > 0:31:49'some say deliberate leaks -

0:31:49 > 0:31:53'and endless speculation, we'll finally get the answers

0:31:53 > 0:31:55'revealed by the secretive Mr Joseph Serf.'

0:31:55 > 0:31:58- MR SMITH:- 'That was the latest news transmission.'

0:31:58 > 0:32:01We've got to get over to the launch. We can take Luke's car!

0:32:01 > 0:32:03Clyde, it's the media event of the century.

0:32:03 > 0:32:07We can't just gatecrash it like it's Adam Jenkins' party!

0:32:08 > 0:32:11Give me a minute. Mr Smith! Access Serf Systems hospitality.

0:32:11 > 0:32:14- Get your best clothes. - 'Accessing initiated.'

0:32:14 > 0:32:18- Move!- 'Logging in to Serf intranet.'

0:32:22 > 0:32:24DOOR BANGS AND HISSES

0:32:34 > 0:32:39Bring food for the young ones. You like us, prisoners.

0:32:40 > 0:32:42Thanks.

0:32:44 > 0:32:47- You need this more than we do. - No, you drink.

0:32:47 > 0:32:49Pure water burns.

0:32:49 > 0:32:51What do you drink?

0:32:51 > 0:32:54Orange, lemon juice, citrus.

0:32:54 > 0:32:56Hey, stop!

0:32:56 > 0:32:57No! Girl stay!

0:32:57 > 0:32:59We can help you, let us out of here!

0:32:59 > 0:33:03You stay! Or master punish!

0:33:11 > 0:33:13Oh. You need help.

0:33:15 > 0:33:16No. No help!

0:33:18 > 0:33:20You stay!

0:33:21 > 0:33:25He can't go against his master, or he gets another shock.

0:33:25 > 0:33:29The collars are controlled through Harrison's pen.

0:33:29 > 0:33:32We can't do anything to help the slaves until we get it off him!

0:33:32 > 0:33:34If we could tell Clyde and Rani,

0:33:34 > 0:33:36- get them to grab it.- How?

0:33:36 > 0:33:39They've destroyed our phones.

0:33:40 > 0:33:41What about your dog whistle?

0:33:41 > 0:33:45K9's miles away, he'd never hear it.

0:33:45 > 0:33:48He's too far away.

0:33:48 > 0:33:51We've got to think of something.

0:33:51 > 0:33:53What about Mr Smith? Could he hear it?

0:33:53 > 0:33:56Yes! YES!

0:33:56 > 0:33:59You are SO my sister!

0:33:59 > 0:34:02Rani, the launch starts in an hour!

0:34:02 > 0:34:04Oh. You look great.

0:34:06 > 0:34:07I've done it!

0:34:07 > 0:34:09MR SMITH COUGHS

0:34:09 > 0:34:11- 'WE have done it!' - Whatever!

0:34:11 > 0:34:14OK, we're in!

0:34:14 > 0:34:16Trevor and Janet Sharp.

0:34:16 > 0:34:19Trevor, do I look like a Trevor?

0:34:19 > 0:34:20Although I am sharp.

0:34:20 > 0:34:23They're journalists, from Twilight Years magazine,

0:34:23 > 0:34:26- for the over 60s.- Geriatric News? Couldn't you do better?

0:34:26 > 0:34:29They're the only ones on the list that won't turn up.

0:34:29 > 0:34:32'Mr And Mrs Sharp are stranded at Orly Airport,

0:34:32 > 0:34:35'thanks to a...a-hem, computer malfunction.'

0:34:35 > 0:34:36Mr and Mrs?

0:34:36 > 0:34:39Oh, yeah, and they're, er, married.

0:34:39 > 0:34:43Right. Right. The cavalry's coming, and it's me and the missus.

0:34:43 > 0:34:45- My old Dutch. - Shut up Clyde. Come on!

0:34:45 > 0:34:48'Wait a moment! I'm picking up a high-frequency, modulated signal,

0:34:48 > 0:34:51'in Morse code!'

0:34:53 > 0:34:55Brilliant!

0:34:55 > 0:34:58'The transmission is on the command frequency of K-9.'

0:34:58 > 0:35:01- It must be Luke, the whistle! - Or it's a trap.

0:35:01 > 0:35:03How do we know it's Luke for sure?

0:35:03 > 0:35:05'Deciphering...

0:35:05 > 0:35:08'Message begins, Clani...'

0:35:08 > 0:35:09Yeah, that's Luke!

0:35:09 > 0:35:13'Grab...Harrison's...

0:35:13 > 0:35:17'..P-E-N. Full stop.'

0:35:17 > 0:35:20Never been so glad to see a full stop. What does it mean?

0:35:20 > 0:35:23What it says. Grab his pen!

0:35:23 > 0:35:25Ready to go through with this?

0:35:25 > 0:35:28I will help the little people. I'm ready.

0:35:28 > 0:35:31I hope I am. It's an oldie but a goodie.

0:35:31 > 0:35:33Go!

0:35:33 > 0:35:36Help, help! This crazy woman, she's trying to kill me!

0:35:36 > 0:35:38Help, please!

0:35:38 > 0:35:40Help, please!

0:35:43 > 0:35:45Owww!

0:35:45 > 0:35:49Hey! Well done! Let's go!

0:35:59 > 0:36:02There must be no mistakes!

0:36:02 > 0:36:07Everything at the launch must go exactly according to plan!

0:36:07 > 0:36:11Yes, Master, yes, Master!

0:36:11 > 0:36:14This time, you are working for your lives!

0:36:14 > 0:36:16Fail me...

0:36:16 > 0:36:19and it's level ten punish!

0:36:19 > 0:36:22THE SKULLIONS CHATTER

0:36:22 > 0:36:24Master?

0:36:30 > 0:36:33- What do you want?- We thirst.

0:36:33 > 0:36:35We so thirsty.

0:36:36 > 0:36:38Oooh, dear(!)

0:36:38 > 0:36:41Shall I give you all a drink?

0:36:47 > 0:36:50No, Master! Please, Master!

0:36:51 > 0:36:52Ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:36:52 > 0:36:55No! Water burns, water burns!

0:36:57 > 0:36:59You get the message?

0:37:01 > 0:37:02WORK!

0:37:03 > 0:37:05PLARK HISSES

0:37:09 > 0:37:13Luke! Oh, Sky!

0:37:13 > 0:37:16Come on! Listen, I've got a plan.

0:37:16 > 0:37:19But first we need to get that pen away from Harrison!

0:37:19 > 0:37:23- We've got that covered.- What? How? - You've got gifted kids.

0:37:23 > 0:37:24Hi.

0:37:27 > 0:37:30Can I just check that for you?

0:37:30 > 0:37:32That's lovely, thank you.

0:37:32 > 0:37:38Right, just in time. Where is he, where is Harrison?

0:37:38 > 0:37:40He's over there.

0:37:40 > 0:37:41Oh, he doesn't look like much.

0:37:41 > 0:37:44And what's his pen got to do with it?

0:37:55 > 0:37:58Oh, there we go, top pocket.

0:38:07 > 0:38:11Ready, ready, ready! Near time, near time!

0:38:11 > 0:38:14Oh, this place is terrible.

0:38:14 > 0:38:15The smell!

0:38:15 > 0:38:16But look!

0:38:18 > 0:38:21- They got the message! - Wow, you are gifted, aren't you?

0:38:21 > 0:38:23No, no! Go, go, go!

0:38:23 > 0:38:25It's OK! We're going to help you!

0:38:25 > 0:38:27No help! Master punish!

0:38:27 > 0:38:31- Not for much longer. Leave it to Clyde and Rani!- What then?

0:38:31 > 0:38:34Your gifted mum's got that covered. Or she will have. Wait here!

0:38:34 > 0:38:38Adriana, I need something from you.

0:38:39 > 0:38:40Right!

0:38:40 > 0:38:42Here goes!

0:38:43 > 0:38:46Hello, hello! New faces, good to see you!

0:38:46 > 0:38:50- Keeps me young. Lionel Carson. - Trevor.

0:38:50 > 0:38:53Call me Trev. Meet Janet,

0:38:53 > 0:38:55the trouble and strife.

0:38:55 > 0:38:56Oh, Trev, my old ball and chain.

0:38:56 > 0:38:59You're from Twilight Years?

0:38:59 > 0:39:02- What?- New approach. We're the voice of youth.

0:39:02 > 0:39:05We're opinion formers! We give a stairlift a five-star review,

0:39:05 > 0:39:08and watch the sales rocket!

0:39:08 > 0:39:11Rocket in a very steady and safe way.

0:39:11 > 0:39:14Yeah, wouldn't want to give our readers any big shocks!

0:39:14 > 0:39:17There aren't enough stars in the skies for the Serf Board!

0:39:17 > 0:39:19Everyone will love it. I know you will.

0:39:19 > 0:39:21PHONE RINGS

0:39:23 > 0:39:25Escaped?

0:39:25 > 0:39:28Well, then find her! NOW!

0:39:28 > 0:39:32Mr Harrison, isn't it? Janet Sharp, Twilight Years.

0:39:32 > 0:39:33Do you mind if I grab a quick word?

0:39:35 > 0:39:37Mr Carson,

0:39:37 > 0:39:41- could I borrow a pen? - Help yourself.- Thank you.

0:39:47 > 0:39:50Send that message now, Mr Smith! Urgent rescue flight needed!

0:39:50 > 0:39:54Co-ordinates...the roof of the Serf Systems compound.

0:39:54 > 0:39:55Yeah.

0:39:56 > 0:40:01'Earth calling Skultos. Light Sculptors imprisoned.

0:40:01 > 0:40:04'Dispatch rescue vehicle immediately,

0:40:04 > 0:40:07'urgent, to these co-ordinates.'

0:40:10 > 0:40:14That is amazing. Ooh, bum!

0:40:14 > 0:40:16Pen's run out, can I borrow yours?

0:40:16 > 0:40:21Yes, here. Look, keep it. Thank you, I've got to go, it's almost time.

0:40:21 > 0:40:23Sorry, mate.

0:40:25 > 0:40:26Waste of time!

0:40:28 > 0:40:31Three cheers for the old switcheroo.

0:40:34 > 0:40:37- He did it!- Right! They're free!

0:40:39 > 0:40:40Free!

0:40:40 > 0:40:41ALL: Free, free!

0:40:41 > 0:40:45Free, free!

0:40:45 > 0:40:47- Clyde's got the pen!- Oh, brilliant!

0:40:47 > 0:40:50Plark! Come, bring your people up to the roof, quickly.

0:40:50 > 0:40:55Rescue's on its way! Skultos. Home! Come on, now!

0:40:55 > 0:40:57Quick, follow us!

0:40:58 > 0:41:01You two stay here and keep an eye on Harrison.

0:41:01 > 0:41:02- But...- Mum's right, Sky.

0:41:02 > 0:41:04See you soon!

0:41:04 > 0:41:07- Come on! RUN!- Run, run, run!

0:41:11 > 0:41:13Hi, I'm Joseph Serf.

0:41:13 > 0:41:17I'm here to introduce the Serf Board from Serf Systems,

0:41:17 > 0:41:19the world's newest,

0:41:19 > 0:41:21and best, portable computer.

0:41:21 > 0:41:24The 15th at 5pm.

0:41:24 > 0:41:26A moment of history.

0:41:26 > 0:41:30But I don't get it, it's just a pen.

0:41:30 > 0:41:31Don't play with it!

0:41:33 > 0:41:35Mine, I think, Janet!

0:41:36 > 0:41:39Enjoy the show.

0:41:42 > 0:41:45Get ready, Plark, the time is now!

0:41:45 > 0:41:48'Just one mistake and it's double ten!'

0:41:48 > 0:41:50No! He's got the pen back!

0:41:50 > 0:41:52'..from Serf Systems.'

0:41:52 > 0:41:55If the hologram doesn't obey, he'll know something's wrong!

0:41:55 > 0:41:58He'll hurt them, stop them getting away.

0:41:58 > 0:42:00We've got to work Serf!

0:42:00 > 0:42:02- What?- Come on!

0:42:02 > 0:42:05We've got to drive the hologram ourselves.

0:42:10 > 0:42:12Come on, come on!

0:42:12 > 0:42:17- But they are free? - Almost, Adriana! Almost!

0:42:17 > 0:42:21So before we go through to meet the Serf Board,

0:42:21 > 0:42:23let's meet the man

0:42:23 > 0:42:26behind the Serf Board.

0:42:26 > 0:42:28Joseph Serf!

0:42:38 > 0:42:40Ha-ha-hum...

0:42:40 > 0:42:42Mr Joseph Serf!

0:42:43 > 0:42:45- Ready?- You bet!

0:42:45 > 0:42:47Serf! Now, now, now!

0:42:49 > 0:42:51Left leg. Right leg. Left leg. Right leg.

0:42:54 > 0:42:57Walk! WALK!

0:42:58 > 0:43:01AUDIENCE CLAPS

0:43:01 > 0:43:04Fella's been drinking.

0:43:15 > 0:43:19Welcome to my lovely lunch.

0:43:23 > 0:43:25My lovely launch.

0:43:29 > 0:43:32Whoa, I AM gorgeous.

0:43:32 > 0:43:35- He'd never say that! - First thing I could think of!

0:43:39 > 0:43:44- You keep him talking! - What a beautiful day, boys and girls.

0:43:47 > 0:43:49Remember, he's American!

0:43:49 > 0:43:51Yee-ha!

0:43:53 > 0:43:55As I woke up,

0:43:55 > 0:43:57put my grits on the griddle, I thought,

0:43:57 > 0:44:01"What a cotton-pickin' day to launch a new computer!"

0:44:01 > 0:44:04What? What? You've been watching Toy Story again.

0:44:07 > 0:44:10He's going to use the pen. No!

0:44:12 > 0:44:14Aaarrghhh!

0:44:19 > 0:44:21The pen!

0:44:21 > 0:44:23Get the pen!

0:44:23 > 0:44:26Aaaarrghh!

0:44:29 > 0:44:32He's hypnotic. We've got to turn up the hypno-power.

0:44:36 > 0:44:38Listen, everybody.

0:44:38 > 0:44:40I want you to grab the pen from Harrison!

0:44:40 > 0:44:43Grab the pen from him!

0:44:43 > 0:44:46THEY SHOUT

0:44:46 > 0:44:49I say, that's not on! Leave her alone!

0:44:52 > 0:44:54Smash it!

0:44:54 > 0:44:56SMASH IT!

0:44:56 > 0:44:59THEY SHOUT: Smash it!

0:44:59 > 0:45:02No! No! No!

0:45:05 > 0:45:06It's stopped.

0:45:09 > 0:45:14Go home! The Serf Board is rubbish! Bog standard!

0:45:14 > 0:45:16Cobblers! Garbage!

0:45:16 > 0:45:18Go home. Tell everyone!

0:45:18 > 0:45:22- No!- Of course it is. Stupid computers.

0:45:22 > 0:45:25"Nothing wrong with a typewriter," says I.

0:45:26 > 0:45:33It's grade A, 100% toot! It's bobbins. It's trash.

0:45:33 > 0:45:37In fact, you think it's rubbish, go home, tell everyone!

0:45:37 > 0:45:39I've got a weird feeling about him.

0:45:41 > 0:45:42Hi, Clani!

0:45:43 > 0:45:45I knew it!

0:45:48 > 0:45:49Go to the roof.

0:45:51 > 0:45:52Bye, Clani!

0:45:57 > 0:45:59We did it!

0:45:59 > 0:46:01Where's Harrison?

0:46:03 > 0:46:07Sarah Jane Smith! Step away from them!

0:46:07 > 0:46:10- You're too late. I said I'd stop you!- You and whose army?

0:46:10 > 0:46:12- THUNDER CRACKS - Ah. That army!

0:46:22 > 0:46:24We go now.

0:46:24 > 0:46:26Thank you, thank you!

0:46:28 > 0:46:30You good people!

0:46:30 > 0:46:32I think that's your ride!

0:46:33 > 0:46:35Quick! Come on!

0:46:45 > 0:46:46Home!

0:46:47 > 0:46:51- No! I paid millions! No!- Wait!

0:46:51 > 0:46:54No! You belong to me! You're mine, mine!

0:46:57 > 0:46:59Yes!

0:47:07 > 0:47:11- That was a spaceship. - What will they do to Harrison?

0:47:11 > 0:47:13- Set him to work, I hope. - But it's amazing, amazing!

0:47:13 > 0:47:16Er...who's this again?

0:47:16 > 0:47:18I'm just the cleaner.

0:47:18 > 0:47:20I mean, I WAS the cleaner. I have no job now.

0:47:20 > 0:47:24So you people, you do this all the time?

0:47:24 > 0:47:25That's wonderful!

0:47:25 > 0:47:28Give this lot a call. Mention my name.

0:47:28 > 0:47:31You're just the kind of agent they need, put them back on track.

0:47:31 > 0:47:35And the pay will be very good, I'll make sure of that.

0:47:37 > 0:47:39'The Serf Board failed to live up the hype,

0:47:39 > 0:47:42'and Joseph Serf disappeared after a disappointing...'

0:47:42 > 0:47:44That's enough, Mr Smith.

0:47:44 > 0:47:48- Well, I'm certainly not disappointed!- Oh, poor Mr Serf.

0:47:48 > 0:47:50The real Mr Serf.

0:47:50 > 0:47:53Nobody will ever know what really happened to him.

0:47:54 > 0:47:58- Done it.- Sky, could you get that CD you promised me, please?

0:47:58 > 0:48:01Sure. Won't be a second.

0:48:05 > 0:48:08- What are you two up to?- Nothing!

0:48:08 > 0:48:11Sorry, Sarah Jane, it's a family thing!

0:48:18 > 0:48:19Hi, Sky!

0:48:19 > 0:48:21What's going on...?

0:48:21 > 0:48:24Present for you. I got Clyde to do it.

0:48:24 > 0:48:25For me?

0:48:25 > 0:48:27It's your room, isn't it?

0:48:27 > 0:48:31- It's great! - Nothing's too good for my sister!

0:48:31 > 0:48:33Come here.

0:48:34 > 0:48:38'I've seen amazing things out there in space...

0:48:41 > 0:48:44'..but strange things can happen wherever you are.

0:48:44 > 0:48:49'I've learned that life on Earth can be an adventure, too.'

0:48:51 > 0:48:53- Mum?- Oh, Luke!

0:48:53 > 0:48:58'In all the universe, I never expected to find a family.'

0:49:23 > 0:49:26Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:49:26 > 0:49:29E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk