0:00:04 > 0:00:08# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime
0:00:08 > 0:00:10# So welcome to The Slammer
0:00:10 > 0:00:13# Where you're gonna serve your time
0:00:13 > 0:00:15# With every type of minstrel
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# Entertainer and artiste
0:00:17 > 0:00:19# Performing to the limit
0:00:19 > 0:00:21# To try and get release
0:00:21 > 0:00:24# So go, fetch the audience
0:00:24 > 0:00:26# Bring them to The Slammer
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# And polish up your act
0:00:28 > 0:00:30# With a bit of glitz and glamour
0:00:30 > 0:00:33# Your fate is in their hands
0:00:33 > 0:00:35# So make them cheer and clamour
0:00:35 > 0:00:38# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer
0:00:38 > 0:00:40# Leave The Slammer
0:00:40 > 0:00:44# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer. #
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Christmas visiting? Outrageous!
0:00:53 > 0:00:59Fancy giving this bunch of delinquent twirlies contact with the outside world.
0:00:59 > 0:01:04You might as well give them applause, for all the punishment they're getting.
0:01:04 > 0:01:09And giving them presents - it makes a mockery of all the hard work I've put in
0:01:09 > 0:01:12being mean, unfair and spiteful.
0:01:12 > 0:01:17Oh, yeah, cheers for these, our kid.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Merry Christmas and all that as well. Nice one.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Argh!
0:01:22 > 0:01:25You are a daft sausage, cherub.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Oh, Mum.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32I tell you, Gimbert, it gets right up my goat. Gimbert?
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Gimbert?
0:01:35 > 0:01:39What the flaming heck are you playing at, lad?
0:01:39 > 0:01:43Visitors are for prisoners, not for prison officers.
0:01:43 > 0:01:44Hello, Son.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47My mum, Mr Burgess - the Governor's sister.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51So you're Mr Burgess - or Frank. Lovely name.
0:01:51 > 0:01:56Jeremy's told me so much about you. You're thinner than I'd imagined.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00You need to eat. Try one of my own mince pies.
0:02:00 > 0:02:01- Oh...- They're lovely.
0:02:01 > 0:02:02Homemade. Go on.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Now...
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Not while I'm on duty.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Come along, Jeremy.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11- Bye, Son.- Bye, Mum.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Merry Christmas, Melvin.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18This magic potion is the answer to all your problems.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21It's from Burunda.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGS
0:02:24 > 0:02:25MUSIC: ROCK'N'ROLL
0:02:26 > 0:02:30- Yo-yo People. - YO-YO PEOPLE: Yo!- Merry Christmas.
0:02:30 > 0:02:31Bobby Badfinger.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36That's good.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Feeding The Fish.
0:02:42 > 0:02:43That's for you.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46And...Outrage.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50# Santa Claus is coming to town. #
0:02:50 > 0:02:51Your roots need doing.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Get ready for the Freedom Show.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58What's the matter? Don't you like your presents?
0:02:58 > 0:03:02- It's toilet paper.- It's what I give the prisoners every year.
0:03:02 > 0:03:07It's slightly scented. Hard to come by in a place like this.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Tell you what. Christmas bonus.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13I'll throw in a bottle of pop. How's that?
0:03:13 > 0:03:15ALL: Yeah!
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Go and get ready for the Freedom Show. Off you go.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Now then.
0:03:21 > 0:03:22Mr Burgess.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26Frankie-poos!
0:03:26 > 0:03:30Look at my presents. It's lucky you don't like Christmas.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Because you don't have any, do you?
0:03:33 > 0:03:35- CHINA SMASHES - Oh, dear.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36Mr Burgess.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Santa!
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Now, Mr Burgess.
0:03:40 > 0:03:41Now, sir.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45Come on, Frank, you know the rules at Christmas!
0:03:45 > 0:03:48There we are. Lovely!
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Now, young Jeremy.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52How do you know my name, Santa?
0:03:52 > 0:03:57I want you to nip down the shop and get some pop for the performers.
0:03:57 > 0:04:02- Can't your elves magic something up? - No, they're pricking chestnuts.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06Hey!
0:04:07 > 0:04:09What's he in for?
0:04:09 > 0:04:12The shepherd? He sneezed during his Nativity play.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16Snot all over the Three Wise Men. Terrible.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20Anyway, Pete, take a look at this. My brother got it for me.
0:04:20 > 0:04:25- It's from Burunda. - HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGS
0:04:26 > 0:04:32It's a legendary magic cure for stage fright.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Oh, yeah, that's what he's telling you?
0:04:35 > 0:04:39Drink that, get on the show, you'll be home for Christmas.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41It can't possibly work.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Can it?
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Drink it. Drink it!
0:04:51 > 0:04:52HEARTBEATS
0:04:52 > 0:04:54HE BURPS
0:04:56 > 0:04:57He-he!
0:05:04 > 0:05:06# Don't stop till you get enough
0:05:06 > 0:05:09FUNKY MUSIC
0:05:20 > 0:05:22# Don't stop till you get enough. #
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Melvin, it's a Christmas miracle!
0:05:27 > 0:05:32- Actually, it's stuff from Burunda. - HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGS
0:05:33 > 0:05:35I'm ready, boss. Give me a slot.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38I gave the last slot to Outrage this morning.
0:05:38 > 0:05:44Oh, dear. How sad. Never mind. Looks like you'll spend Christmas with us.
0:05:44 > 0:05:49No way. He can be part of our act.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50ALL: Yeah!
0:05:55 > 0:05:56HE SNEEZES
0:06:01 > 0:06:04# Santa Claus is coming... to town... #
0:06:04 > 0:06:11Oh, dear! I'll tell you what, that's made my day.
0:06:11 > 0:06:16- What's that, Mr Burgess?- Seeing Odoom with a chance to get out of the nick
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- before he's paid his debt to society.- Argh!
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Really, Mr B?
0:06:21 > 0:06:24NO! I'm very angry about it indeed.
0:06:24 > 0:06:28What can I do to make myself feel a lot better? Oh, yes. I know.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31I'll confiscate all your puppets, Nokio.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34- Oh, no!- Oh, yes.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37Oh, kissy-kissy under the missy.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Urgh!
0:06:39 > 0:06:42YELLS, SHOUTS AND PUNCHES LANDING
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Let go of me. I'm not a puppet.
0:06:56 > 0:06:57Clear off then!
0:06:59 > 0:07:04- Please don't.- You can have them back when you're normal.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06I'm normal now, Mr B.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08I got the pop for the acts, Mr Burgess.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Where did Santa go?
0:07:10 > 0:07:12HE GASPS
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Where did these come from?
0:07:15 > 0:07:16From the corner shop.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Not from Burunda?
0:07:18 > 0:07:21HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGS
0:07:21 > 0:07:25Melvin can't find out about this.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34'This is your Governor speaking. The audience are in the building.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38'All performing prisoners stand by, please.'
0:07:38 > 0:07:40- All right? - ALL: Mel!
0:07:40 > 0:07:44- Here's to being home for Christmas! - ALL: Yeah!
0:07:44 > 0:07:47- CLOCK STRIKES - Here you go, Mr Melvin.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51- You've got one. - I got it from Burunda. - HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGS
0:07:51 > 0:07:55CHOIR WINDS DOWN
0:07:55 > 0:07:58This is from the corner shop. Cheap.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Oh, bum, well, that's over then!
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Melvin, come back!
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Anyway, how do I look?
0:08:05 > 0:08:06Divine!
0:08:06 > 0:08:09Thank you very much.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12Gotta look after your elf this time of year!
0:08:12 > 0:08:15It's showtime!
0:08:18 > 0:08:21'Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HM Slammer
0:08:21 > 0:08:26'where you decide which prisoner goes home for Christmas.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30'Now please welcome your ho-ho-ho-ho-host -
0:08:30 > 0:08:34'it's Teddy, the red-nosed Governor!'
0:08:34 > 0:08:40FRANTIC MUSIC, CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Who's the Governor?
0:08:51 > 0:08:53ALL: You're the Governor!
0:08:53 > 0:08:57It's me, jailors and jailbirds. Seasonal greetings.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00- Having a good time?- Yes!
0:09:00 > 0:09:05We've got some marvellous performing prisoners.
0:09:05 > 0:09:10As it's Christmas, we thought we'd give them a chance to get home.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12We've got marvellous acts.
0:09:12 > 0:09:16An American gentleman come all the way from America.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20I'm not American, but I've been in a few states.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23He's American and he's a very snappy act,
0:09:23 > 0:09:25he's called Bobby Badfingers.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Whoo!
0:09:27 > 0:09:31We've got a marvellous juggling act called Feeding The Fish.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Whoo!
0:09:32 > 0:09:38We've got a marvellous band called Outrage, featuring Melvin Odoom.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Whoo!
0:09:40 > 0:09:43But now, jailors and jailbirds,
0:09:43 > 0:09:46it's time for festive fun with an unusual act.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49This act - well, they're a yo-yo act.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Their career's been up and down. Been here five years.
0:09:52 > 0:09:56Put them in the show? I thought no. Then yes. Then no.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00I've been stringing them along. Please welcome the Yo-Yo People!
0:10:00 > 0:10:03CHEERING
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Hello. You guys like yo-yos, right?
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Yeah!
0:10:12 > 0:10:15Can anyone name the most popular yo-yo trick?
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Go ahead and yell it out.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19- Walking The Dog?- That's it.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22We start with trick number one. Walk The Dog.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Trick number two, Around The World.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42- And trick number three... - Rock The Baby In The Cradle.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Nobody likes that trick.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47You wanna see good stuff? Say yeah.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Yeah!
0:10:50 > 0:10:57MUSIC: ROCK'N'ROLL
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Give them a big hand!
0:12:29 > 0:12:33Big round of applause there for Yo-Yo People.
0:12:33 > 0:12:34What did you think?
0:12:34 > 0:12:39- What about you, miss?- I thought it was really great and interesting.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41What did you think?
0:12:41 > 0:12:45They were a good act, but not good enough to be released.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- You'd keep them in a bit longer? - Three years longer.- Three years!
0:12:49 > 0:12:52- One word from you, sir. - They were very cool...
0:12:52 > 0:12:56- That's not one word, sir, is it?- No. They were really cool...
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Just ignore me then, sir.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02- Because...- Go on. You plough on, sir.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Because they like... They were really funky...
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Fumbling now, sir. You've lost it.
0:13:07 > 0:13:12- Can you be quiet while I'm talking? - Just do one word, sir. That's all.
0:13:12 > 0:13:16- They're cool.- Cool, sir. There you go.
0:13:16 > 0:13:17The Yo-Yo People.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20< My hat's coming off, it's hot.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22< What a time we're having.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24< What did one snowman say to the other?
0:13:24 > 0:13:26< "Can you smell carrots?"
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Well? "I can't see him anywhere."
0:13:29 > 0:13:35Now we've got a very unusual act for you. He's called Bobby Badfingers.
0:13:35 > 0:13:40Yeah. Bad fingers, bad ankles, bad knees, bad head. He's a bad man.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42That's why he's here.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Yes, serving three years,
0:13:44 > 0:13:47please give a big welcome to Bobby Badfinger.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50APPLAUSE
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Whoo! Yeah!
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Yeah, baby, yeah! All right!
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Hit it!
0:14:04 > 0:14:06# Here comes Snappy Claus Here comes Snappy Claus
0:14:06 > 0:14:09# Right down Snappy Claus Lane
0:14:09 > 0:14:12# Fixing, blitzing all his reindeer
0:14:12 > 0:14:15# Pulling on the rein
0:14:16 > 0:14:18# Fingers are wringing Children singing
0:14:18 > 0:14:21# All is snappy and bright
0:14:22 > 0:14:24# So snap your fingers And say your prayers
0:14:24 > 0:14:27# Cos Snappy Claus comes tonight
0:14:27 > 0:14:31# Here comes Snappy Claus Here comes Snappy Claus
0:14:31 > 0:14:33# Right down Snappy Claus Lane
0:14:34 > 0:14:36# He's got a bag That's filled with toys
0:14:36 > 0:14:38# For all you whippersnappers again
0:14:40 > 0:14:42# Hear those fingers jingle-jangle
0:14:42 > 0:14:44# What a beautiful sight
0:14:45 > 0:14:48# So snap your fingers And jump in bed
0:14:48 > 0:14:51# Because Snappy Claus comes tonight
0:14:51 > 0:14:55# Here comes Snappy Claus Here comes Snappy Claus
0:14:55 > 0:14:57# Right down Snappy Claus Lane
0:14:57 > 0:15:01# He doesn't care If you're snapping or not
0:15:01 > 0:15:02# He loves you just the same
0:15:03 > 0:15:06# Snappy knows That we're snappy children
0:15:06 > 0:15:09# That makes everything right
0:15:09 > 0:15:12# So fill your ears with Snappy cheer
0:15:12 > 0:15:14# Cos Snappy Claus comes tonight
0:15:16 > 0:15:21# Cos Snappy Claus comes tonight... #
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Yeah! Whippersnappers! Yeah!
0:15:23 > 0:15:26HE-E-E-EY!
0:15:26 > 0:15:29APPLAUSE
0:15:33 > 0:15:39There we are! Give him a round of applause - Bobby Badfingers!
0:15:39 > 0:15:44Marvellous. I wish when I snapped my fingers everyone'd come running.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46- Mr Burgess?- Yes?- Ooh, he did!
0:15:46 > 0:15:4866, clickety-click.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Old bingo expression there.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54I think it was quite a good act,
0:15:54 > 0:15:56but I think he was too mad
0:15:56 > 0:15:58and too snappy.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00What did you think of him?
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Well, he sounded strange...mad...
0:16:03 > 0:16:04Maybe even crazy.
0:16:04 > 0:16:09But strangely talented in the art of finger snapping.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12I liked him because
0:16:12 > 0:16:18he was extremely funny and talented to do both things at the same time.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21You've drawn a picture of Bobby there.
0:16:21 > 0:16:26- There's Bobby. You've missed out the moustache there!- Oh, yeah!
0:16:27 > 0:16:29One final word?
0:16:29 > 0:16:31OK.
0:16:31 > 0:16:32OK.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35# Here comes Snappy Claus Here comes Snappy Claus... #
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Sounds like a well-dressed lobster!
0:16:37 > 0:16:40Next up - Feeding The Fish.
0:16:40 > 0:16:41They were singers,
0:16:41 > 0:16:44they wouldn't learn their scales!
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Jailers and jailbirds,
0:16:46 > 0:16:50show your appreciation for Feeding The Fish!
0:16:50 > 0:16:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:58 > 0:17:01DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
0:17:17 > 0:17:19APPLAUSE
0:17:30 > 0:17:32APPLAUSE
0:17:36 > 0:17:38APPLAUSE
0:17:54 > 0:17:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:18:37 > 0:18:39AUDIENCE: Whoo!
0:18:43 > 0:18:45APPLAUSE
0:18:51 > 0:18:53Marvellous.
0:18:53 > 0:18:58A big round of applause for Feeding The Fish, jailers and jailbirds!
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Think I can do it? Hey, look at that!
0:19:01 > 0:19:07I'm not good enough to join Feeding The Fish, but what did you think?
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Jugglers - love them or hate them?
0:19:10 > 0:19:15It was amazing, fabulous, exciting - my favourite so far.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19And what did this little Santa think?
0:19:19 > 0:19:23It was my favourite so far, it was really entertaining,
0:19:23 > 0:19:28- but I think their name was weird. - It was totally amazing and has got
0:19:28 > 0:19:33- my vote so far. They repeated themselves though.- Really?
0:19:33 > 0:19:38- You'd like a little more freshness? - Yes.- What would you like more of?
0:19:38 > 0:19:42Ummm... Just more simple juggling and just...
0:19:42 > 0:19:46Maybe they could try running around juggling.
0:19:46 > 0:19:50- What did you think? - I thought it was quite good,
0:19:50 > 0:19:54- but they could have thrown their clubs higher.- Nobody's happy!
0:19:54 > 0:19:59Now, don't let me down, Miss. I want one,
0:19:59 > 0:20:03count it, ONE final word.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05- Brilliant.- Brilliant!
0:20:05 > 0:20:06APPLAUSE
0:20:06 > 0:20:11I want you to shout out the name of the act you liked so far.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Shout it out!
0:20:13 > 0:20:16- SHOUTING - Who's it going to be?
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Melv, you're on next!
0:20:19 > 0:20:22The potion's a load of rubbish.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25# Ah-ah-ah ah ah... #
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Shut it!
0:20:27 > 0:20:31You don't need magic, Melv, you ARE magic!
0:20:31 > 0:20:35- My brother lied to me! - He was only trying to help.
0:20:35 > 0:20:40You got up on this stage before. You can do it again.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Yeah, Melv, you're electric boogaloo!
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Whoo!
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Whoo!
0:20:45 > 0:20:47You're right, Pete.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49I'm cured! Right!
0:20:50 > 0:20:54Our final performing prisoners are here in the slammer.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58They're a very loud band, serving six years in The Slammer
0:20:58 > 0:21:02for rehearsing late at night in a built-up area.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06Will you please welcome Outrage!
0:21:06 > 0:21:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:08 > 0:21:14This song is called Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18# All is calm All is bright
0:21:18 > 0:21:21- # Round your... #- SHUT UP!
0:21:21 > 0:21:25ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!
0:21:26 > 0:21:27# You'd better watch out
0:21:27 > 0:21:31# You'd better not cry Better not pout, I'm telling you why
0:21:31 > 0:21:33# Santa Claus is coming to town
0:21:33 > 0:21:36# Santa Claus is coming to town
0:21:36 > 0:21:39# Santa Claus is coming to town
0:21:41 > 0:21:44# With little tin horns And little toy drums
0:21:44 > 0:21:46# Rooty toot toots and rummy tum tums
0:21:46 > 0:21:49# Santa Claus is coming to town
0:21:49 > 0:21:51# Santa Claus is coming to town
0:21:51 > 0:21:55# Santa Claus is coming to town
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Here we go!
0:21:58 > 0:22:00AUDIENCE: WHOO!!!!
0:22:03 > 0:22:06CHEERING AND WHISTLING
0:22:13 > 0:22:14AUDIENCE: Oi! Oi! Oi!
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!
0:22:19 > 0:22:23Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!
0:22:23 > 0:22:25# He's making a list Checking it twice
0:22:25 > 0:22:28# Gonna find out Who's naughty or nice
0:22:28 > 0:22:31# Santa Claus is coming to town
0:22:31 > 0:22:33# Santa Claus is coming to town
0:22:33 > 0:22:36# Santa Claus is coming to town
0:22:37 > 0:22:40# He sees you when you're sleeping
0:22:40 > 0:22:43# He knows when you're awake
0:22:43 > 0:22:46# He knows when You've been bad or good
0:22:46 > 0:22:48# So be good for goodness sake!
0:22:49 > 0:22:51# You better watch out You better not cry
0:22:51 > 0:22:55# You better not pout I'm telling you why
0:22:55 > 0:22:58# Santa Claus is coming to town Santa Claus is coming to town
0:22:58 > 0:23:02# Santa Claus is coming to town Santa Claus is coming
0:23:02 > 0:23:04# Santa Claus is coming
0:23:04 > 0:23:07# Santa Claus is coming to town. #
0:23:11 > 0:23:14APPLAUSE
0:23:14 > 0:23:18Let's hear it for Outrage, please!
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Let's hear it for Outrage!
0:23:20 > 0:23:25Oh, marvellous. Outrage there and Melvin doing Santa dancing!
0:23:25 > 0:23:29A round of applause for Melvin as well!
0:23:29 > 0:23:34- I thought- I- was Santa Claus! I've certainly got the tummy for it.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36What did you think?
0:23:36 > 0:23:41- Outrage or Shoutrage?- Their name was Outrage and I thought that was
0:23:41 > 0:23:46a complete outrage. They all look like girls
0:23:46 > 0:23:49but I think they'd win the X Factor.
0:23:49 > 0:23:54- That's a sensible comment, that is. - What did you think of Outrage?
0:23:54 > 0:24:00- They were really good. They get my vote.- Your lips never moved once!
0:24:00 > 0:24:05You know how to make that look better? Like that.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09- Do you think it was just some lads banging stuff?- Um...
0:24:09 > 0:24:13I thought they were wicked and brilliant.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17- Melvin was funny too. - Ah, yes, of course.
0:24:17 > 0:24:22- A final word from you, please. - Wicked.- Wicked.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25Four marvellous prisoner acts,
0:24:25 > 0:24:29only one of them can go free at Christmas time.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Welcome them all back, please.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Yo Yo People!
0:24:33 > 0:24:36Bobby Badfingers, Feeding The Fish!
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Outrage!
0:24:38 > 0:24:42Give them all a big cheer, guys and girls!
0:24:42 > 0:24:45CHEERING
0:24:45 > 0:24:50Only one of these performing prisoner acts can go free.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54You're going to decide with this - a Yuletide clapometer,
0:24:54 > 0:24:58held by a festive Gimbert there.
0:24:58 > 0:25:03Jailers and jailbirds, make some noise for Yo Yo People!
0:25:03 > 0:25:06APPLAUSE
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Yo Yo People, going up, going down.
0:25:13 > 0:25:18Let's see for the first score on this special Slammer.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21Not a bad score.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Next, he came all the way from
0:25:23 > 0:25:29America, a very snappy, unusual act. Ladies and gentlemen,
0:25:29 > 0:25:32a big hand please for Bobby...
0:25:32 > 0:25:34Badfingers!
0:25:34 > 0:25:37APPLAUSE
0:25:37 > 0:25:40Tough crowd, Bobby.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Tough.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46Let's see what they scored. Bobby's bad fingers snapped away
0:25:46 > 0:25:50and got a score of 86.7.
0:25:50 > 0:25:55You'll be joining us for a little more festive fare, Bobby. Now,
0:25:55 > 0:26:00another unusual act. Very talented, with lots of glowing lights.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03What did you think of Feeding The Fish?
0:26:03 > 0:26:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:06 > 0:26:10There we are, let's go over to the clapometer
0:26:10 > 0:26:16and see what Feeding The Fish scored... 96.6!
0:26:16 > 0:26:20In the lead so far, Feeding The Fish! So...
0:26:20 > 0:26:24We've got one more act to see, or to hear.
0:26:24 > 0:26:28What did you think about them? Show your appreciation
0:26:28 > 0:26:30for Outrage.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:47 > 0:26:49I wonder...
0:26:49 > 0:26:52I wonder what the score will be.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Let's have a look. It's 101.8!
0:26:55 > 0:26:58That means that Outrage
0:26:58 > 0:27:03are free to go. The rest of you... Give them a big cheer!
0:27:05 > 0:27:11That's about it for this special festive Slammer.
0:27:11 > 0:27:15We hope you had a good time, and remember -
0:27:15 > 0:27:17if you can't sing, dance or rhyme...
0:27:17 > 0:27:21- ALL: Don't do the crime!- Bye-bye!
0:27:30 > 0:27:34Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd, 2006
0:27:34 > 0:27:37E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Time to get rid of this little lot.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48AARGGGHHHH!
0:27:48 > 0:27:52My babies! It's a Christmas miracle!
0:27:52 > 0:27:55We love you with Christmas love!
0:27:55 > 0:27:56Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm!