0:00:03 > 0:00:08# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime
0:00:08 > 0:00:12# So welcome to The Slammer, where you're gonna serve your time
0:00:12 > 0:00:17# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# Performing to the limit to try and get release
0:00:21 > 0:00:26# So go fetch the audience, bring them to The Slammer
0:00:26 > 0:00:30# And polish up your act with a bit of glitz and glamour
0:00:30 > 0:00:34# Your fate is in their hands, so make them cheer and clamour
0:00:34 > 0:00:39- # It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer- The Slammer
0:00:39 > 0:00:42# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer. #
0:00:44 > 0:00:48As you know, today is Freedom Show Day, my favourite day of the week.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52And I've chosen these four prisoners to perform for their freedom.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56Les Bubb, a mime act with a difference. He's good!
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Professor Bumm's Story Machine, a class act.
0:00:59 > 0:01:05The world and D-Wing's greatest juggler, Kris Kremo.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09And The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain - they're finger picking good!
0:01:09 > 0:01:14However, it is not all good news. It has been brought to my attention, ladies and gentlemen,
0:01:14 > 0:01:17that escape attempts are on the up - quite literally.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21Today I found four prisoners trying to escape in a hot air balloon.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Fortunately, I managed to bring them down with my catapult.
0:01:24 > 0:01:30But the important thing is they could have got away. And I won't have that in my prison. Oh, no!
0:01:30 > 0:01:32From now on I want you to be extra vigilant.
0:01:32 > 0:01:37I couldn't agree more, sir. This place is more like a holiday camp than a prison at times.
0:01:37 > 0:01:41Yes, Mr Burgess. That's why I'm issuing you with new equipment.
0:01:41 > 0:01:47Now this piece of equipment, if worn correctly, will make it 99.9% impossible for
0:01:47 > 0:01:52prisoners to escape and allow you to see what's going on at all times.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56I present to you... the platform boot!
0:01:58 > 0:02:00MAN COUGHS
0:02:02 > 0:02:05OK. I'll give it to you straight.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08- Do you know what day it is today? - Yeah. It's Friday. Freedom Show Day.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11- And it's my gran's birthday.- And...?
0:02:11 > 0:02:16And every year, I pick her up from the nursing home and take her out for tea and cake.
0:02:16 > 0:02:23AMERICAN ACCENT: Oh, how sweet! What a pity you won't be doing that this year, with you being banged up here!
0:02:23 > 0:02:24- HE LAUGHS - Sssh!
0:02:24 > 0:02:27- Stop it. - Exactly. She'll be heartbroken.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31She'll think I've forgot. There's only one thing for it.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33What, invite her round here for tea?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Don't be stupid - she doesn't know I'm in prison.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40I'm going to have to escape.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50Oh, that's all I need. Professor Bumm, Dr Whee, this machine better be working come showtime.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53- Otherwise you'll have me to answer to.- It's all in hand.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55- Yes, Mr Burgess. No problem.- Faster!
0:02:57 > 0:03:01Prisoner Kremo, pass me my cap and look smart about it, lad.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08All right, all right, less of the funny stuff. Hand it over.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12You may be on this afternoon's show but you ain't been released yet.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Mind your step, lad.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17And he calls these a deterrent!
0:03:19 > 0:03:23If I had my way I'd do things a lot differently.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26Oh yeah. Very differently.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29I quite like these boots, Mr Burgess.
0:03:29 > 0:03:34- Actually, they make me feel quite... quite special.- Oh yeah.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37You're "special" all right, lad.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Honestly. I think they're great. I can see for miles. Oh yeah.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44Rest assured, with these on nothing's going to get past me.
0:03:47 > 0:03:52Escape? Escape? And how are you planning to escape?
0:03:52 > 0:03:57- Shut up, they'll hear you!- It's not me, it's Titch.- Pete!- Be easy. He's only a little lad.
0:03:57 > 0:04:02He doesn't understand. Anyway, all this stuff about you going to your granny every year on her birthday...
0:04:02 > 0:04:05You've been in here for years. What do you usually do?
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Usually it's not a problem.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Well, I wait for the show to start.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12That way, the governor and the wardens are watching the show.
0:04:12 > 0:04:17I nip out into the exercise yard. Pop over the wall. Pick up Granny from the nursing home.
0:04:17 > 0:04:22Take her for a cuppa. Drop her back at the nursing home. Pop back over the wall, past the exercise yard.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26And I'm back in my cell before you can say hot shoe shuffle.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28# Don't stop till you get enough! #
0:04:28 > 0:04:32- Piece of cake.- Why don't you just do that this year then?
0:04:32 > 0:04:35- Have you seen what the wardens are wearing?- No.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39They've got these special fancy hi-tech boots that make it 99.9%
0:04:39 > 0:04:44- impossible for anyone to escape. - INDISTINCT SPEECH
0:04:44 > 0:04:49Oh...Melvin, my friend, have no fear. We've got a plan!
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Hello, what have we got 'ere, then?
0:04:57 > 0:05:01- A magic act?- Oh, brilliant, I love magic.- Get a grip, Gimbert.
0:05:01 > 0:05:06- Have you got permission to rehearse in the corridor?- Er, no, sir.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Then it's a spot of punishment for you, my lad.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Eight years solitary should do the trick.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Eight years, isn't that a bit harsh, Mr Burgess?
0:05:14 > 0:05:18- I don't make the rules, I just enforce them! - Oh, let him finish his act.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Oh, yes please, sir. Let me finish me act.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25Just before you take me to that deep, dark, damp place.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29All right, Mr Magic Man, I may be firm but I am fair.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31- Away you go.- Right.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Now then, first I need a bank note.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36The bigger the better.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40Thank you.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42That's lovely. That'll do fine.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Next I need a watch.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46The more expensive the better.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56That's lovely. Lovely. Now then, prepare to be amazed.
0:05:56 > 0:06:01When I step in the box, you both take a deep breath, then count from one to five.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05- Will you assist me, sir? - Oh, certainly.- Thank you.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Ah, yes, thank you.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Just a moment.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17One...
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Two...
0:06:20 > 0:06:22- Three...- Four...
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Five!
0:06:25 > 0:06:28- I don't believe it! - Nor do I, it's magic!
0:06:28 > 0:06:31No, you idiot, we've been had.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37OK, tell me about this plan, then.
0:06:37 > 0:06:43Well, I'm beginning to get worried. I started to think we'd never get a slot on the show, never be free...
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Will you get on with it, please!
0:06:45 > 0:06:49All right! I dug a tunnel underneath my bed.
0:06:49 > 0:06:55A passport to paradise. A one-way ticket to freedom street, to be used only in an absolute emergency.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Pete, I'm shocked.
0:06:56 > 0:07:01- Well, it wasn't really me. It was Titch and Charlie.- All right, lads?
0:07:01 > 0:07:03And the gang. They've agreed it's for the best.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09OK, you're forgetting one thing. When Burgess realises I'm not in my cell,
0:07:09 > 0:07:13he'll be onto us faster than you can say, "Chitty Chitty, bang, bang."
0:07:13 > 0:07:17Who said anything about you not being in your cell, Melvin? Listen...
0:07:17 > 0:07:20There's a lot you don't know about me.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24Before I entered the entertainment business I was a master sculptor.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27These hands... Oh.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31These hands can make anything.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Anything? - That's what he said, dummy.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Shush! Even a life size model of you, Melvin.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Now, go...
0:07:38 > 0:07:44- And buy your granny the best slice of cake money can buy.- Oh cakey, cakey, yum, yum...- Shut up!
0:07:44 > 0:07:47This is your governor speaking.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50Could all the acts for this week's Freedom Show please...
0:07:50 > 0:07:51GET A FLAMING MOVE ON!
0:08:03 > 0:08:04Check!
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Right, we might have a small problem, sir.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14- Whatever it is I don't want to know. - Oh, but Uncle Ted, it's really important.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17OK, make it quick. Don't call me uncle at work.
0:08:17 > 0:08:23- More prisoners have escaped.- What about the boots?- That's the problem. We're a laughing stock.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27While we're hobbling about on these the prisoners are escaping willy-nilly, sir.
0:08:27 > 0:08:32Willy-nilly? He's on next week! OK, I'll hold me hands up and me feet.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34The boots are not all they're cracked up to be,
0:08:34 > 0:08:38but I'll tell you one thing they are good for. Hit it!
0:08:38 > 0:08:42# I've got rhythm, I've got... # Oh!
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Oh, hello, Melvin. Melvin!
0:08:48 > 0:08:52Is this private party, O'Doom, or can anybody join in?
0:09:05 > 0:09:09- Oh, Melvin, I'm shocked. What are you playing at? - I'm sorry, it's my gran's birthday.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13I promised to take her out for tea and cake. I was gonna come back.
0:09:13 > 0:09:20Save your excuses till after the show. I'm very disappointed in you. You must be punished.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23- You will have to watch the show from the camp.- Nooo!
0:09:23 > 0:09:29- Not the camp, all the blood rushes to my head!- It'll do you good. Anyway, how do I look?
0:09:29 > 0:09:33- ALL: Divine. - Thank you very much. In that case...
0:09:33 > 0:09:36..It's show time!
0:09:38 > 0:09:43COMPERE: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HM Slammer
0:09:43 > 0:09:46where you decide which prisoner is to be released.
0:09:46 > 0:09:51So, please welcome your host, he puts the Ted in incarcerated...
0:09:51 > 0:09:55He's the Governor!
0:09:55 > 0:09:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- Who's the Governor?! - ALL: You're the Governor!
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Great! Nice to see you folks, jailers and jailbirds.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18We've got some marvellous performing prisoners.
0:10:18 > 0:10:23- We've got Professor Bumm and Doctor Whee.- ALL: Oooooh...
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Society entertainers.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29We've got a wonderful juggler called Kris Kremo.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31- Yes!- ALL: Oooooooh...
0:10:31 > 0:10:34The best in the world and the best in D-Wing.
0:10:34 > 0:10:40- We've also got the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain!- ALL: Oooooh...
0:10:40 > 0:10:45But first, ladies and gentlemen, jailers and jailbirds, we've got a marvellous mime act.
0:10:45 > 0:10:50He's serving two years in The Slammer for refusing to give a statement.
0:10:50 > 0:10:55Will you please welcome, the one and only, Mr Les Bubb!
0:10:55 > 0:10:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:11:25 > 0:11:27LAUGHTER
0:11:34 > 0:11:37ELECTRONIC MUSIC
0:11:37 > 0:11:42BOY: 'Charlie says always tell your mummy before you go off somewhere.'
0:12:14 > 0:12:17APPLAUSE
0:12:17 > 0:12:21Give him a big cheer, ladies and gentlemen...
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Hurray! Oh...Well...
0:12:23 > 0:12:29All that mime. It's not good pretending the bars in The Slammer aren't real, because they are.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33He won't get out. Did you enjoy Les Bubb? Let's find out with Mr Burgess!
0:12:33 > 0:12:38- What about you, what did you make of him?- I liked the opening, but my dad can do better.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41What did you think of Les Bubb, mime artist?
0:12:41 > 0:12:46I think he was really stupid. It made it really funny so I enjoyed it.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48- Would you like to read out what you've written?- "Rubbish!
0:12:48 > 0:12:51"I have a fish with more talent."
0:12:51 > 0:12:52What did you think?
0:12:52 > 0:12:57- "Really could do better. Mistakes everywhere, but overall, good." - Mistakes, what mistakes?
0:12:57 > 0:13:01We've got spare rooms at The Slammer, you can stay overnight, you know.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Do you like porridge? Tell us what you wrote?
0:13:06 > 0:13:11- "Crazy and freaky. Very funny." - Marvellous! Who cut your hair, the council?!
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Could you sum that act up in one word for us, sir?
0:13:13 > 0:13:18- No.- None! Thank you. Over to you, sir.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22Will Les Bubb be miming his way through the gates of The Slammer?
0:13:22 > 0:13:25It'll be up to you to decide. Next we have two performing prisoners.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27They're called Professor Bumm and Doctor Whee.
0:13:27 > 0:13:32Professor Bumm is serving three years for showing too much cheek to a policeman! Will they go free?
0:13:32 > 0:13:37Let's find out as we enjoy Professor Bumm and Doctor Whee's story machine!
0:13:37 > 0:13:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:13:45 > 0:13:47My name is Bumm.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Ivor Bumm.
0:13:49 > 0:13:54Professor Ivor Harry Bumm.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58- This is my assistant, Whee. - Hello, there.- Willie Whee.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00It's Doctor Willie Whee, actually.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02- Stop showing off!- Sorry.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04They're all looking at me, Bumm.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07They're supposed to look at you, Willie.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10We are here today to demonstrate my amazing new story machine.
0:14:10 > 0:14:15It can create toys and tails out of thin air.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17It has a thousand dazzling costumes.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19It has three million sound effects.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23- And it's got a great coffee cup holder.- And it's got a great...
0:14:23 > 0:14:27- No, it hasn't!- Yes, it does. You put your coffee cup there and it's brilliant.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29- Yes, well, thank you, Willie. - No problem.
0:14:29 > 0:14:34Today the story machine is going to be creating for you a story out of a single word.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37We're gonna need help with that. So let me see.
0:14:37 > 0:14:41- Hayley, there, if I can just ask you to say, "Stop" for me, please.- Stop.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45- Fantastic. We need a word from that page in the dictionary. - This one here?
0:14:45 > 0:14:51I'm gonna go straight here. Will you put your finger on this page for me? Brilliant! We've got a ranch, Bumm.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54A ranch, that's fantastic!
0:14:54 > 0:14:55Brilliant, yee-ha!
0:14:55 > 0:15:00All I have to do now is feed the word into the story machine like so.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Then we can start the countdown.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05BOTH: Five... Four...
0:15:05 > 0:15:08ALL: Three... Two... One.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Zero!
0:15:11 > 0:15:14CRASHING
0:15:14 > 0:15:17I think it's broken, Bumm.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Oh course it's broken, you just poured coffee into it!
0:15:20 > 0:15:22You shouldn't have a coffee cup holder in it!
0:15:22 > 0:15:26- It says, "Do not open"!- I thought it said, "Doughnut, open."
0:15:26 > 0:15:33- I thought when you opened it you got a doughnut.- How would that work?- You pull that and there's a doughnut.
0:15:33 > 0:15:38It's Freedom Show Day. We have to have a story or we'll never get out. What will we do?
0:15:38 > 0:15:42Why don't we make a story up and make out the machine's doing the work?
0:15:42 > 0:15:47Brilliant! The story machine will now beam the tale of the ranch
0:15:47 > 0:15:52- directly into both of our heads at the same time.- Will it?- No!
0:15:55 > 0:16:00- Once- upon- a- time- there- was- a - boy- who- lived- on- a- ranch.
0:16:00 > 0:16:04- Texas- Joe- they- called- him.
0:16:04 > 0:16:10- He- lived- all- by- himself - because- he- smelled- of- horses.
0:16:10 > 0:16:18- He- stank- of- horses- and- he- died - underneath- the- horse.
0:16:18 > 0:16:25- The- moral- of- this- tale- is- don't - put- yourself- on- a- ranch.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27- The- End.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Working perfectly!
0:16:31 > 0:16:35Give them a big hand. Give them a big round of applause, jailers and jailbirds.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39Big hand for Professor Bumm and Dr Whee!
0:16:42 > 0:16:44What did you think, Mr Burgess?
0:16:44 > 0:16:46So, Bumm and Whee.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Quality entertainment, madam? Or just a pile of poo?
0:16:48 > 0:16:53- I think it was funny. But Dr Whee was a bit immature. - How would you improve their act?
0:16:53 > 0:16:57- I'd give Dr Whee a few lessons.- And you think that'd improve the act?- No.
0:16:57 > 0:17:02That's what you just said, madam. You said that would improve the act if you educated them.
0:17:02 > 0:17:07- Maybe you're hearing me wrong. - Oh, this isn't Trisha, madam. We're not getting into that.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10- What's your name?- Josh.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15- You've got a funny voice, haven't you?- SQUEAKY: Yeah.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20Do you always talk like that?
0:17:20 > 0:17:25- SQUEAKY: No.- Did you like that last act? Do you remember seeing that last act?- Yeah.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Mr Burgess, I'm getting a bit scared now.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31- In one, final word sum that act up for us, madam.- Entertaining.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Very good. Entertaining, sir.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Well, will Professor Bumm and Dr Whee be leaving The Slammer?
0:17:36 > 0:17:40I don't know, it'll be up to you. We've got another marvellous performing prisoner now.
0:17:40 > 0:17:46He's a juggler. He was at the Royal Variety Performance juggling balls, skittles, he can juggle anything.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49He's serving five years for dropping one in front of the Queen.
0:17:49 > 0:17:56Ladies and gentlemen, jailers and jailbirds, will you please welcome the fantastic skills of Kris Kremo.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:19:43 > 0:19:47Marvellous. Absolutely fantastic. What did you think of Kris Kremo?
0:19:47 > 0:19:51Did he do enough to be released? Let's find out with Mr Burgess.
0:19:51 > 0:19:55I like it when he bounces it on his arm. It's really good.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58- He knows his stuff.- Could you do it?
0:19:58 > 0:20:00No, no chance.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03- Never, ever?- No. He's naturally good at it, I think.
0:20:03 > 0:20:09- What about this young man here? Did you like Kris Kremo?- It was amazing, fantastic and genius.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11One final word, sir.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15- Brilliant.- It's getting exciting.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18I'm excited cos I'm the Governor. Who's the Governor?
0:20:18 > 0:20:23- ALL: You're the Governor! - Let's find out now, as we have our fourth performing prisoner.
0:20:23 > 0:20:28Or should I say prisoners? Because they are the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41# What's that coming over the hill?
0:20:41 > 0:20:46# Is it a monster? Is it a monster?
0:20:46 > 0:20:48# What's that coming over the hill?
0:20:55 > 0:20:58# Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out
0:20:58 > 0:21:02# It seeps out, it seeps out
0:21:02 > 0:21:05# Face down, home town, it seems grey
0:21:05 > 0:21:08# Looks so grey, looks so grey
0:21:08 > 0:21:12# Convexed you bend, twist and shout
0:21:12 > 0:21:16# Twist and shout, twist and shout
0:21:16 > 0:21:22# Stand up, brush off, move closer Move closer, move closer
0:21:22 > 0:21:29# What's that coming over the hill? Is it a monster? Is it a monster?
0:21:29 > 0:21:36# What's that coming over the hill? Is it a monster? Is it a monster?
0:22:17 > 0:22:19# What's that coming over the hill?
0:22:19 > 0:22:21# Is it a monster?
0:22:21 > 0:22:23# Is it a monster?
0:22:23 > 0:22:29# What's that coming over the hill? Is it a monster? Is it a monster?
0:22:29 > 0:22:32# Is it a monster? #
0:22:36 > 0:22:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Go on, take them back to the cells.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Take them all back to the cells.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51Marvellous, give 'em a big cheer! There they are.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58What's that coming over the hill? Is it a monster? No, it's Mr Burgess.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59What did you think, sir?
0:22:59 > 0:23:04It was good. But the man with long hair, I thought he was the monster,
0:23:04 > 0:23:08because he kept shaking his head up and down.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12- Would he worry you if you saw him coming over a hill, sir?- Yeah!
0:23:12 > 0:23:16What about you? What did you write about them?
0:23:16 > 0:23:18Excellent, very talented.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21- Marvellous. Would you buy that record?- Yes.- Very good.
0:23:21 > 0:23:26- Let's go for a word with Mr Burgess. - What would you say?- Fantastic.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30- Fantastic, sir.- We've had some brilliant performing prisoners.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33- Have you enjoyed them all, kids? Yeah?- CHILDREN: Yeah!
0:23:33 > 0:23:37It's time to find out who'll be walking free.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41Let's welcome back all the performing prisoners. Les Bubb!
0:23:41 > 0:23:47Professor Bumm and Dr Whee. Kris Kremo and the Ukulele Orchestra!
0:23:47 > 0:23:48Here they come. My word.
0:23:48 > 0:23:54I don't think we've ever had so many people on the stage.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58So, here we go, jailers and jailbirds. Who's it gonna be?
0:23:58 > 0:24:01First of all, you saw a marvellous mime artiste.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05Will you please show your appreciation for Les Bubb?
0:24:11 > 0:24:16I think some of them were miming clapping! Let's have a look.
0:24:16 > 0:24:19And Les Bubb's score is...
0:24:19 > 0:24:2189.8.
0:24:21 > 0:24:26Not bad. That's a good score. Will he be walking free from The Slammer?
0:24:26 > 0:24:28I don't know. It's up to you.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30Next, we have a very unusual act.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32We had two crazy people.
0:24:32 > 0:24:37Will you show your appreciation for Professor Bumm and Dr Whee
0:24:37 > 0:24:39and their story machine?
0:24:43 > 0:24:47I think we're picking something up, Professor Bumm and Dr Whee!
0:24:47 > 0:24:52Very hard crowd today. But I've worked clubs like this before.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Let's have a look...
0:24:55 > 0:24:5882.5. Not bad, not bad.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02At the moment, it's going to be Les Bubb who's walking free,
0:25:02 > 0:25:05through an invisible door!
0:25:05 > 0:25:09Let's see who we've got next. It was a marvellous juggling act.
0:25:09 > 0:25:14Will he be walking free? Give a big hand, please, for Kris Kremo!
0:25:24 > 0:25:27That shifted me ear wax!
0:25:27 > 0:25:30Let's go over to the clapometer.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32A score of 104.2!
0:25:32 > 0:25:38Well, at the moment, that means Kris Kremo will be walking free.
0:25:38 > 0:25:42There's only one more set of performing prisoners to score.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Here they are, six of them, very unusual.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48It's the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain!
0:25:57 > 0:26:00It's going to be close.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04OK, it's going to be close.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Give the machine a shake!
0:26:06 > 0:26:09100.1!
0:26:09 > 0:26:13That means, ladies and gentlemen, jailers and jailbirds,
0:26:13 > 0:26:17the winner, and walking free, the juggling skills of Kris Kremo!
0:26:17 > 0:26:19You're free to go!
0:26:22 > 0:26:25Kris Kremo! There he is, take him away.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29The rest of you, back to the cells. Give them a round of applause!
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Give them a round of applause.
0:26:32 > 0:26:33Remember...
0:26:33 > 0:26:37if you love showbiz glamour,
0:26:37 > 0:26:40there's always a cell for you here at The Slammer.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44Until the next time, from all of us, bye-bye, everybody!
0:26:54 > 0:26:58# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer
0:26:58 > 0:26:59# Leave The Slammer!
0:26:59 > 0:27:04# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Come on, Melvin. Eat up, son.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11Are you not hungry? Hmm?