0:00:03 > 0:00:08# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime
0:00:08 > 0:00:10# So welcome to The Slammer
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# Where you're gonna serve your time
0:00:12 > 0:00:17# With every type of minstrel entertainer and artiste
0:00:17 > 0:00:21# Performing to the limit to try and get released
0:00:21 > 0:00:26# So go fetch the audience and bring them to The Slammer
0:00:26 > 0:00:31# And polish up your act with a bit of glitz and glamour
0:00:31 > 0:00:34# Your fate is in their hands so make them cheer and clamour
0:00:34 > 0:00:38- # It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer- Leave The Slammer
0:00:38 > 0:00:42# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:00:42 > 0:00:48I'm not too happy about this new pen pal scheme.
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Why is that, Uncle Boss?
0:00:49 > 0:00:52I don't know, I can't quite put my finger on it.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54That's my elbow, sir!
0:00:54 > 0:00:55Terribly sorry.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58What about you, Frank, don't you think that letting all
0:00:58 > 0:01:01the inmates write to their friends around the world
0:01:01 > 0:01:05and find out about different cultures is a bit, well, nice?
0:01:05 > 0:01:09Well, on first glance, sir, it does appear to be needless kindness.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11However, it seems to keep the inmates quiet.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14I get to read their pathetic scribbles
0:01:14 > 0:01:17and find out what the little villains are up to, sir.
0:01:17 > 0:01:22I don't like it - it's show day today and I've got a funny feeling.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25I think that's my truncheon, sir.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06# No business like show business
0:02:06 > 0:02:09# There's no business I know... #
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Argh!
0:02:14 > 0:02:16# Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. #
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
0:02:18 > 0:02:23Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Hey, what do you think you're doing?
0:02:26 > 0:02:30You're rude. ..Sorry, Alesha, good luck on today's show.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Honestly, have to have a bit of respect,
0:02:32 > 0:02:36- she's performing for her freedom today.- Like I care!
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Well, why don't you just have a little lie-down
0:02:39 > 0:02:42- in the corner over there?- Argh!
0:02:42 > 0:02:45I'll just carry on addressing everyone's letters, shall I?
0:02:45 > 0:02:47I've had no time to write letters of my own.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50Oh no, too busy helping you lot out with yours.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55I'm going to take a break. You're all right for a bit, Melvin,
0:02:55 > 0:02:59you can take the blindfold off, I'm putting them away, mate.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03I know you like it, but I think this pen pal thing is rubbish.
0:03:07 > 0:03:12- Argh! Argh!- Oh yeah, well done.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15You know how Melvin feels about the Queen
0:03:15 > 0:03:17and yet you leave a stamped addressed envelope
0:03:17 > 0:03:20just lying around. You are a right...
0:03:20 > 0:03:23- Don't start with me.- I will. - I've had enough today.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27- I will because you leave that lying around...- Melvin,
0:03:27 > 0:03:31do you think you'll ever get over this thing about the...?
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- It's been years, mate.- I know.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37But I remember it like it were yesterday.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39- Ladies and gentlemen... - 'I was backstage with the announcer.'
0:03:39 > 0:03:41..Your Majesty,
0:03:41 > 0:03:48please put your hands together for tomorrow's star, Mr Melvin Odoon.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52I can't...I can't go out there. I'm terrified. The Queen's out there.
0:03:52 > 0:03:53Of course she is, you div.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56This is the Royal Variety Performance.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58You're just suffering from a bit of stage fright.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01You will be perfectly all right once you're on.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03CRASH!
0:04:03 > 0:04:04MUSIC AND APPLAUSE
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Oh, bum! AUDIENCE GASPS
0:04:13 > 0:04:16MICROPHONE FEEDBACK
0:04:19 > 0:04:22SIREN SOUNDS
0:04:24 > 0:04:26HELICOPTER WHIRRS
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Ten years I got for that, and I've never set foot
0:04:29 > 0:04:35on stage since, and every time I see a picture of her face, I...
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Sorry about my little friend, Melvin.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42Why don't you have a lie-down? I'll get rid of this numpty
0:04:42 > 0:04:47- and his Queeny-face stamps. Come on, you.- Ow! No! What you doing?
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Get off me! Get off!
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Hiya, guv, I've got some more post for you.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03- Right.- It's mostly junk mail.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07And I've got a couple of bills.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Any sandwiches?
0:05:11 > 0:05:14- HEAVENLY VOICE:- You have nothing to fear from the Queen.
0:05:14 > 0:05:19The Queen is a gentle soul.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21The Queen is your friend.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24You have nothing to fear from the Queen.
0:05:27 > 0:05:32Look, I appreciate you trying to help, Hypno Chris the Hypnotist,
0:05:32 > 0:05:34but it's just not working.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36OK, Melv,
0:05:36 > 0:05:38no worries.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42Let me know if there's anything I can do for you.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45See you at the show.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53All right, Mr Melvin? I heard you were feeling a little bit down,
0:05:53 > 0:05:58so I thought this might cheer you up. Look - the Queen's in town!
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Argh!
0:06:02 > 0:06:05Here's that tenner I owe you, thanks very much for helping me out.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08- I couldn't have done it without... - Argh!
0:06:14 > 0:06:18We were just passing. We'd like to use your toilet facilities.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20You'd like to do what?!
0:06:20 > 0:06:22You can get knotted, young man - this is a prison.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26I do know that, sir. It is, I believe, Her Majesty's Prison.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30FANFARE PLAYS
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Oh, Her Majesty! You mean...that...
0:06:33 > 0:06:38Oh, yes! Certainly yes, yes, Your Majesty, come in.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Open the door! Open the door!
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Certainly. Come in, Your Majesty.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48If you step this way, Your Majesty.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Very kind of you, Your Majesty. We're honoured... ..Shift!
0:06:51 > 0:06:54The prison bogs will never be the same again, Your Majesty.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57But if you could get a move on, we have a Freedom Show to put on.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01HEARTBEAT SOUNDS
0:07:04 > 0:07:06You?!
0:07:12 > 0:07:14- BOTH:- No...!
0:07:18 > 0:07:20MUSIC: "Land Of Hope And Glory"
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Cursed letters! When I think what could have happened!
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Right, that's it. I knew I never liked it.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38The pen pal scheme, it's over, it's banned, causing all this trouble,
0:07:38 > 0:07:39and on the day of the Freedom Show.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43Oh, Your Majesty, I can't apologise enough, I can't...
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Thank you so very much, young man.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49You saved my life!
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Any time, Your Majesty.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Lay your hands on the Queen ever again and you're toast.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58- But good job just this once. - Oh, did someone mention "show"?
0:07:58 > 0:08:03We do have our own theatrical extravaganza starting any time now.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07The audience are on their way in, if one could interest one in staying.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10That would be very nice.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14Nice one, Queen. In that case...
0:08:14 > 0:08:18- how do I look?- Divine. - Thank you very much.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Then it's a right royal show-time!
0:08:21 > 0:08:25FANFARE PLAYS
0:08:25 > 0:08:28'Ladies and gentlemen,
0:08:28 > 0:08:30'welcome to HM Slammer
0:08:30 > 0:08:33'where you decide which prisoner is to be released.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37'Now, please welcome your host, presenting talent without measure
0:08:37 > 0:08:42'at Her Majesty's pleasure, it's the Guv'nor!'
0:08:42 > 0:08:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Yeah, who's the Guv'nor?
0:08:59 > 0:09:01- ALL:- You're the Guv'nor!
0:09:01 > 0:09:05What a great crowd we've got. Lock the doors, we want to keep this lot.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Marvellous. We've a very special
0:09:07 > 0:09:10visitor here at The Slammer, Jailors and Jailbirds, over there.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13- Say hello to Her Majesty. - ALL:- Hello,
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Your Majesty!
0:09:15 > 0:09:16She's waving, that's good.
0:09:16 > 0:09:21Remember, you our guests will decide which of the performing prisoners
0:09:21 > 0:09:26- will walk free at the end of The Slammer. Are you up for this?- Yes!
0:09:26 > 0:09:28You'd better be! Who's got a Hula Hoop?
0:09:28 > 0:09:30One of those Hula Hoops?
0:09:30 > 0:09:33Come on, have you got one?
0:09:33 > 0:09:36I bet you've never seen Hula Hooping like this.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39She's here doing three years in The Slammer for being the international
0:09:39 > 0:09:41ringleader of a big circle of crime.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Ladies and gentlemen, Jailors and Jailbirds, will you please
0:09:44 > 0:09:50welcome from D-wing the wonderful talents and skills of Jana Roberts!
0:09:50 > 0:09:51APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:09:58 > 0:10:00# Whoa, yeah!
0:10:08 > 0:10:13# You can rock this land, baby
0:10:13 > 0:10:15# Yeah!
0:10:15 > 0:10:18# Like a shock to the system... #
0:11:54 > 0:11:58- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - There we are. Oh!
0:11:58 > 0:12:02Oh, give her a big cheer, Jailors and Jailbirds, wonderful!
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Marvellous!
0:12:05 > 0:12:09- What did you think of her?- Quite a spectacular act kicking off with.
0:12:09 > 0:12:10What did you make of it, madam?
0:12:10 > 0:12:13It was cool. I never saw something like that before.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16- What about you, madam? - I thought she was excellent.
0:12:16 > 0:12:20I've never seen somebody do that and I couldn't do that ever.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23- You couldn't, not with a bit of practice?- No.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26What did you think of Jana?
0:12:26 > 0:12:28- She's good. - Do you think I could do it?
0:12:28 > 0:12:31No, you couldn't get it over your tummy!
0:12:31 > 0:12:35- LAUGHTER - Couldn't get it over me tummy?!
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Mr Burgess, arrange a special cell!
0:12:37 > 0:12:41- In a word, sir, that act?- Excellent. - Excellent, sir.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45Will Jana Roberts be Hula Hooping her way out of The Slammer?
0:12:45 > 0:12:47You will be deciding later with a clapometer.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Now on to a very unusual act
0:12:49 > 0:12:52called a bodypopper - I think my body's already popped!
0:12:52 > 0:12:54- LAUGHTER - This bodypopper
0:12:54 > 0:12:56is in D-wing. He's doing 18 months
0:12:56 > 0:13:01for dropping a popper in front of a copper and coming a cropper.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04Ladies and gentlemen, Jailors and Jailbirds, please give
0:13:04 > 0:13:08a huge ovation for Salah!
0:13:08 > 0:13:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:13:16 > 0:13:21LULLABY PLAYS
0:13:50 > 0:13:52BEEPING
0:13:52 > 0:13:58WHIRRING MECHANICAL NOISES
0:14:01 > 0:14:02- MECHANICAL VOICE:- 'Hello.'
0:14:02 > 0:14:08WHIRRING MECHANICAL NOISES ACCOMPANY MOVEMENTS
0:14:33 > 0:14:35# Boss, boss, boss... #
0:14:35 > 0:14:37MUSIC PLAYS
0:15:04 > 0:15:06MUSIC GETS FASTER
0:15:09 > 0:15:10MUSIC SLOWS DOWN
0:15:14 > 0:15:17MUSIC GRINDS TO A HALT
0:15:25 > 0:15:27'Bye-bye!'
0:15:30 > 0:15:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:34 > 0:15:41Yes! Come on, for Salah. A big round of applause! Wonderful!
0:15:41 > 0:15:44- APPLAUSE - Right, take him back,
0:15:44 > 0:15:48put a new battery in him. What did you think of Salah?
0:15:48 > 0:15:50- Right, sir. - He thinks he's funny but he's not.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52He thinks he's funny but he's not.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55- You think we should keep him in here for a bit longer?- Forever.
0:15:55 > 0:15:59Bang him up, throw away the key, is that what you are saying, sir?
0:15:59 > 0:16:04- Not that I'm putting words in your mouth. Is that what you think?- Yeah.
0:16:04 > 0:16:09- If he was a jelly, sir, what flavour would he be?- Strawberry.- Why?
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Because he looks like it.
0:16:11 > 0:16:12He looks like strawberry jelly?
0:16:12 > 0:16:16- Interesting comment.- What did you think of Salah the bodypopper?
0:16:16 > 0:16:21Excellent. And he was real flexible and I would never do that.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Try a bit now with your arms, go on.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29- I can't.- I think that's worth a round of applause!
0:16:29 > 0:16:31- APPLAUSE - That was good, that.
0:16:31 > 0:16:37- What about you, madam?- I think he was very flexible and activ...
0:16:37 > 0:16:41- And what, madam?- And active.- Active?
0:16:41 > 0:16:42- Yeah.- Flexible and active.
0:16:42 > 0:16:47Could you sum him up for us in one word, madam?
0:16:47 > 0:16:50- Wonderful.- Wonderful. That's rather nice, that.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52I quite like that, sir, wonderful.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Marvellous! We've got two more performing
0:16:55 > 0:16:58prisoners to see, and then you decide who will walk free.
0:16:58 > 0:17:03This next gentleman is an artist, a very special artist. He's here
0:17:03 > 0:17:08in The Slammer serving two years for painting the town red - literally.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Make some noise, please, for the wonderful
0:17:11 > 0:17:13artist and gentleman, Jon Hicks!
0:17:13 > 0:17:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:20 > 0:17:24FAST FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS
0:18:35 > 0:18:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:18:48 > 0:18:52A round of applause! What do you think, Jailors and Jailbirds?
0:18:52 > 0:18:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:18:56 > 0:18:58It looks strangely familiar, doesn't it?
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Look at that.
0:19:00 > 0:19:04Well, what did you think of Jon Hicks? That's incredible.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07An act with a difference. What did you make of that, young lady?
0:19:07 > 0:19:11That was not quite what I expected - it could have been better.
0:19:11 > 0:19:15- In what way could it have been better?- Everybody can do paintings.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Oh, really(?)
0:19:17 > 0:19:20And what's YOUR great masterpiece lurking on the mantelpiece(?)
0:19:20 > 0:19:22- I've done lots.- Yes, what,
0:19:22 > 0:19:27- in the style of Gainsborough, Picasso, anything like that?- Yeah.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29- You do all that? - I can do better than them.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32I look forward to you winning the Turner Prize, madam(!)
0:19:32 > 0:19:34LAUGHTER
0:19:34 > 0:19:36What about you, madam?
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Hats off to him - he's extremely marvellous.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42I love the portrait he did of the Guv'nor.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46Right. Do you think you could sum that act up with a face for me?
0:19:47 > 0:19:51- That's what you think of him in a physical representation, is it?- Yes.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53What did you think of our artist in residence?
0:19:53 > 0:19:59He is excellent, the way he paints that quick and how big he can draw.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01- Yes. It was a great painting of me. - Yeah.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05- Especially as I'm so handsome, aren't I?- No.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09Could you sum it up for us in one word?
0:20:09 > 0:20:11- Incredible.- Incredible.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Well, marvellous - I'm going to keep that portrait.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17One more performing prisoner to listen to,
0:20:17 > 0:20:19and this young lady...what a singer.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23She's got a criminal record, that's why she is in The Slammer. It's...
0:20:23 > 0:20:25The Best Of The Cheeky Girls.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Boys and girls, Jailors and Jailbirds,
0:20:27 > 0:20:32please give a huge ovation to the wonderful, the gorgeous Alesha!
0:20:32 > 0:20:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:20:40 > 0:20:42# Ooh, yeah!
0:20:42 > 0:20:45# You got me feeling knockdown
0:20:45 > 0:20:48# Yeah, yeah, yeah Whoa, whoa... #
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Clap your hands, everybody!
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Come on, let me see you!
0:20:53 > 0:20:55We're in this one together, come on! Whoo!
0:20:58 > 0:21:01# Hey! When I lay it all out on the table
0:21:01 > 0:21:04# Don't know what is stopping me
0:21:04 > 0:21:08# From feeling like I might be able to enjoy my own company
0:21:08 > 0:21:11# Sitting up by my window
0:21:11 > 0:21:14# Watching the summer rain
0:21:14 > 0:21:16# The world goes by and I'm in it faster
0:21:16 > 0:21:18# Than I can keep up with today
0:21:18 > 0:21:21# Everybody in the place say, what now
0:21:21 > 0:21:23# Your soul's feeling shot down luck's out
0:21:23 > 0:21:25# But you gotta carry on speed it up now
0:21:25 > 0:21:28# Wooh-wooh-wooh-wooh Oh, knockdown
0:21:28 > 0:21:30# Everybody in the place say, what now
0:21:30 > 0:21:33# Your soul's feeling shot down luck's out
0:21:33 > 0:21:36# But you gotta carry on speed it up now
0:21:36 > 0:21:37# Hey!
0:21:37 > 0:21:40# Ooh, yeah, I got the feeling
0:21:40 > 0:21:42# That something could happen now
0:21:42 > 0:21:45# Yeah, I got the feeling that something
0:21:45 > 0:21:48# Might happen inside my love now
0:21:48 > 0:21:53# And have you ever asked why you feel like you've been here before?
0:21:53 > 0:21:57# Cos only you have the power to carry on through that door
0:21:57 > 0:22:00# Everybody in the place say, what now
0:22:00 > 0:22:03# Your soul's feeling shot down luck's out
0:22:03 > 0:22:04# But you gotta carry on speed it up now... #
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Are you ready?
0:22:06 > 0:22:11# So when you're up, don't get on up don't get on up, don't give it up
0:22:11 > 0:22:13# Steady up, don't dig it up
0:22:13 > 0:22:17# Whoa, when you're up don't dig it up, oh no... #
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Oh!
0:22:20 > 0:22:21Hey!
0:22:22 > 0:22:23Are you ready?
0:22:25 > 0:22:26Here we go now!
0:22:27 > 0:22:30# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
0:22:30 > 0:22:34# Knockdown, everybody in the place say, what now #
0:22:34 > 0:22:36# Your soul's feeling shot down luck's out
0:22:36 > 0:22:39# But you gotta carry on speed it up now
0:22:39 > 0:22:44# Well, I think I got this song all done
0:22:44 > 0:22:49# Hey, I think I'm letting you know it, baby
0:22:49 > 0:22:51# Life goes on
0:22:51 > 0:22:54# You're fun it's all been OK
0:22:54 > 0:22:56# Can't be so wrong
0:22:56 > 0:22:59# You're gone, it's OK. #
0:23:01 > 0:23:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:08 > 0:23:12Take her back, and the dancers. Give her a big cheer, marvellous!
0:23:12 > 0:23:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:17 > 0:23:21A knockdown but was she a knockout? Let's find out with Mr Burgess.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23What about you, sir?
0:23:23 > 0:23:26She was fantastic and flexible.
0:23:26 > 0:23:31Did you like the music? ..There's nothing wrong with being flexible!
0:23:31 > 0:23:36Very fine quality. In a fight, Lily Allen or Alesha, who'd win?
0:23:36 > 0:23:40- I'm not sure.- You're not sure? Do you think she could take Lily Allen?
0:23:42 > 0:23:46- Yes.- You think Alesha would win in a fight?- ALL:- Yes.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49- You all think that, do you? - ALL:- Yes!
0:23:49 > 0:23:51- OK.- Did you like Alesha?
0:23:51 > 0:23:57It was the best so far and it will get my vote, and I'm her biggest fan.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00- And her smile cheers me up. - Her smile cheers you up.
0:24:00 > 0:24:05For final word, madam, sum that up - one word, no more.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09- Give her more than... Sorry, Officer! - Excuse me!- Sorry, Officer!
0:24:09 > 0:24:12- Who's running this - me or you(?) - You, Officer.
0:24:12 > 0:24:16- Do you want to stay in here?- No. - Then keep it zipped.- Sorry!
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Absolutely super.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20- Absolutely super?- Yeah.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Two words, sir. Still can't count.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26Right, Jailors and Jailbirds, and Your Majesty of course,
0:24:26 > 0:24:29now we decide who will walk free from The Slammer.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Let's welcome them back, they've been marvellous.
0:24:32 > 0:24:36Jana Roberts, Salah, Jon Hicks and Alesha!
0:24:36 > 0:24:39- Come on, let's hear it for them. - APPLAUSE
0:24:39 > 0:24:43There they are. Yes, marvellous.
0:24:43 > 0:24:47Four performing prisoners, but only one can walk free from The Slammer,
0:24:47 > 0:24:49with the aid of this clapometer.
0:24:49 > 0:24:53This will decide who will walk free. You will make lots of noise,
0:24:53 > 0:24:55boys and girls, Jailors and Jailbirds, and Your Majesty,
0:24:55 > 0:24:58if you feel like clapping along with one hand, you can.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02Who's it going to be? First of all, you enjoyed her Hula Hooping,
0:25:02 > 0:25:04but she will whooping with delight?
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Let's find out as you show your
0:25:06 > 0:25:09- appreciation for Jana Roberts! - APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Let's hear it for Jana.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19Sounds like a good score. Let's go over to the clapometer.
0:25:21 > 0:25:2592.5. Good opening score. Will she be going free?
0:25:25 > 0:25:26Well, it's all up to you.
0:25:26 > 0:25:30Now, we are on now to a very unusual act, a bodypopper.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33He was very peculiar and very entertaining,
0:25:33 > 0:25:35but will he be going free?
0:25:35 > 0:25:39Show your appreciation and applause for Salah!
0:25:39 > 0:25:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:48 > 0:25:5398.1. I think that means that Salah goes into the lead.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56He could be bodypopping free.
0:25:56 > 0:26:00Right, a very unusual artist and a marvellous portrait
0:26:00 > 0:26:01of a very handsome man!
0:26:01 > 0:26:04- LAUGHTER - But will he be walking free?
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Let's show your appreciation please
0:26:06 > 0:26:10for the unusual talents and skills of Jon Hicks!
0:26:10 > 0:26:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:16 > 0:26:19For a portrait of the Guv'nor, Jon Hicks scores...
0:26:19 > 0:26:2288.5. ..Never mind, Jon.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24- I- liked you. Marvellous.
0:26:24 > 0:26:30Now, at the moment, walking free is Salah with 98.1.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33We had one more performing prisoner to see and to hear,
0:26:33 > 0:26:36so Jailors and Jailbirds, Your Majesty, please,
0:26:36 > 0:26:37what did you think of Alesha?
0:26:37 > 0:26:39RAUCOUS CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Well, I wonder if Alesha has done very well!
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Let's have a look at the score.
0:26:53 > 0:26:57- 101.8! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:57 > 0:27:02Alesha, you are free to go! The Queen says you can go, Her Majesty.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05Give her a big hand, take her away. The rest of you, back in the cells,
0:27:05 > 0:27:08give them a round of applause. Alesha goes free.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11Well, Jailors and Jailbirds, that's it.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Your Majesty... A big cheer for Her Majesty!
0:27:13 > 0:27:16One is most amused.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20Remember, from everyone here at The Slammer, if you can't sing, dance
0:27:20 > 0:27:21or rhyme, don't do the crime.
0:27:21 > 0:27:25We'll see you all next time on The Slammer!
0:27:39 > 0:27:43# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer, leave The Slammer
0:27:43 > 0:27:48# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:27:48 > 0:27:52Step this way, Your Majesty.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55Thank you so much for visiting The Slammer.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58I was just thinking, "Sir Guv'nor" has a nice ring to it.
0:27:58 > 0:27:59Ooh!
0:27:59 > 0:28:01"Sir Guv'nor", no?
0:28:01 > 0:28:03Sir, could you have a word?