0:00:04 > 0:00:06# You've been found guilty
0:00:06 > 0:00:08# Of a howling showbiz crime
0:00:08 > 0:00:10# So welcome to The Slammer
0:00:10 > 0:00:13# Where you're going to serve your time
0:00:13 > 0:00:17# With every type of minstrel, entertainer, artiste
0:00:17 > 0:00:21# Performing to the limit To try and get released
0:00:21 > 0:00:25# So go fetch the audience Bring them to The Slammer
0:00:25 > 0:00:29# And polish up your act With a bit of glitz and glamour
0:00:29 > 0:00:34# Your fate is in their hands So make them cheer and clamour
0:00:34 > 0:00:38# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer
0:00:38 > 0:00:42# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:00:45 > 0:00:50Thanks for those lovely tea towels. Finally, a reminder to you all,
0:00:50 > 0:00:54the possession of clowning equipment is a serious offence.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58HORN BLASTS AND SPOON RATTLES
0:01:00 > 0:01:04Two, two... All right, all right, campers, thank you.
0:01:04 > 0:01:09Now then, I have here the results you've all been waiting for.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13The performers in this week's Freedom Show are...
0:01:13 > 0:01:16- DRUM ROLL - The performer of impossible feats...
0:01:16 > 0:01:20- Mat Ricardo!- 'Wait, get on with your pudding.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22'Save it for Showtime.'
0:01:22 > 0:01:27- Bendy Wendy! - APPLAUSE
0:01:30 > 0:01:32DRUM ROLL
0:01:32 > 0:01:36The BMX Master - Rob Alton!
0:01:36 > 0:01:38APPLAUSE
0:01:40 > 0:01:42And finally...
0:01:42 > 0:01:46- Yes!- Mickey the Amazing Mind reader!
0:01:46 > 0:01:51- I knew it.- So to those four acts, congratulations.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54To the rest of you - there's always next week.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Or maybe not.
0:01:56 > 0:02:01- Where's that list of new inmates you were promising me?- Here, Uncle...
0:02:01 > 0:02:03- I mean, Governor.- Right.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Yes, thank you.
0:02:08 > 0:02:09Ooh!
0:02:10 > 0:02:15- What's this, The Great Alfredo!? - He's a magician or something...
0:02:15 > 0:02:19- He got two years for keeping disorderly rabbits!- Alfredo!
0:02:19 > 0:02:21He's a Slammer legend.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25He was here 20 years ago, did this amazing disappearing act.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27- He escaped from prison?- No!
0:02:27 > 0:02:29He made his wife disappear.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Oh, the times I wished I could do that.
0:02:32 > 0:02:37Left, right, left, right, left, right... Halt!
0:02:37 > 0:02:42- Alfredo!- Governor! - BOTH: How you doing?
0:02:43 > 0:02:46- Well?- So-so, you know.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49- Oh, you remember Debbie? - Oh, Debbie, of course.
0:02:49 > 0:02:50Enchante.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54- How have you been? - DEBBIE MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Really? Well, you can't always get them, can you?
0:02:57 > 0:03:02Anyway, I want you two to get changed immediately.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06I'm putting you straight into this week's Freedom Show.
0:03:06 > 0:03:11But, sir, you...can't do that. You've already announced the acts.
0:03:11 > 0:03:12It's against the rules.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Mr Burgess...
0:03:15 > 0:03:19- Uh-huh?- I- am the rules.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22I'd like you to escort our guests to their cell
0:03:22 > 0:03:26and if there's anything you need, just say the word.
0:03:26 > 0:03:27Alfredo.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Do we have our own cell back?
0:03:31 > 0:03:34You'll get what you're given, you cheeky conjurer!
0:03:34 > 0:03:38Left turn! left, right, left, right, left, right...
0:03:42 > 0:03:43HORN TOOTS
0:03:43 > 0:03:47OK, so that's one horn, two hats,
0:03:47 > 0:03:5115 cans of shaving foam...
0:03:51 > 0:03:57Ten red noses and 15 squirty flowers.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01BURGESS: Right, left, right, left... - Burgess!
0:04:01 > 0:04:06No, No! That's our old cell. Please, let us go back in there.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10No, you're coming in this one. It's got your name on the door.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Excuse me, could you keep the noise down, please? >
0:04:14 > 0:04:19- I want to go in my old cell! - In there, and you!
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Get in!
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Erm, hello.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25You...excuse me...
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Erm...
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Help!
0:04:30 > 0:04:33I wonder why they were so keen on this cell.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36- Eh?- That magician bloke and his missus.- Oh, them.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39- They'll know about the tunnel.- What!?
0:04:39 > 0:04:43- The one behind that poster. - 'Flippin' heck, another one!'
0:04:48 > 0:04:49I don't believe it.
0:04:49 > 0:04:54- Did you dig this tunnel?- It was there when I got here.- All this time...
0:04:54 > 0:04:58'we've been sat here in this flamin' cell...' We could just escape.
0:04:58 > 0:05:03- What do you wanna escape for? - To get out, to be free, to perform.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07- 'Yeah, perform.'- Perform, you don't wanna do that
0:05:07 > 0:05:08after the last time...
0:05:08 > 0:05:11APPLAUSE
0:05:16 > 0:05:18- Oh, bum. - AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:05:22 > 0:05:25OK, so you messed up at The Royal Variety...
0:05:25 > 0:05:28'Mess up, mess up, mess up... Phrrt!'
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Stop it. It's serious.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Come on. You could be home by teatime.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35- Don't you wanna be free?- I am free,
0:05:35 > 0:05:39free to make as much money as I like. I'm off to see a bloke,
0:05:39 > 0:05:43you wouldn't believe how much money he's paying for this.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Cover that tunnel. Don't want Burgess to see it.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Hello, my lovely.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Oh, how do I look? Divine!
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Ah-hem...
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Yes, can I help you?
0:06:03 > 0:06:06It's Bendy Wendy, she isn't going to be up for the show.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08What? She's first on, where is she?
0:06:08 > 0:06:10In here and...
0:06:10 > 0:06:12- in here.- What!?
0:06:12 > 0:06:15- BENDY WENDY:- It's OK. I'm all right.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19- I over-bent myself in rehearsals. - What a disaster!
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Where are we going to find another act now?
0:06:21 > 0:06:25Left, right, left, right... Halt!
0:06:25 > 0:06:29Odoom, sir. He's your man.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Mr Burgess, you're a life saver.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35- Melvin, go and get yourself changed.- Changed?
0:06:35 > 0:06:38- For what?- What do you think?
0:06:38 > 0:06:40- You can't go on stage like that.- Me?
0:06:40 > 0:06:44- There must be some kind of mistake. - Never mind. Congratulations.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47You're in the show, you might be released.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49- Take him away.- Unlucky, lads.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51Please!
0:06:55 > 0:07:00Think positive. You've just got to go out there...'and mess it all up.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02'Hee-hee!' Shh! He'll be brilliant.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05SIREN WAILS < You've got two minutes.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08< The audience are coming in.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Oh, not now, please!
0:07:11 > 0:07:15I had stage fright once. There's a light at the end of the tunnel.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19The tunnel, you're a genius.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23Thanks. I thought you didn't want to escape.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27That was before they put me in the show. So long. Peace!
0:07:27 > 0:07:30'So long, Melvin. Respect, dude.'
0:07:30 > 0:07:33What are we going to do? Melvin!
0:07:33 > 0:07:37- What are you doing looking at my tunnel?- Since when was it yours?
0:07:37 > 0:07:42Since WE built it for the disappearing trick.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- I suppose you want to escape? - Escape, no, young man,
0:07:45 > 0:07:49that tunnel leads to the stage.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- The stage! - I shouldn't be telling you, but...
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Melvin!
0:07:54 > 0:07:58- How do I look?- Divine, Uncle. - Thank you very much.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00- In that case...- Can I?
0:08:00 > 0:08:03No! It's Showtime!
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HM Slammer,
0:08:08 > 0:08:12where you decide which prisoner is to be released.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14So please welcome your host...
0:08:14 > 0:08:17- Give us a G! AUDIENCE:- G!
0:08:17 > 0:08:18- Give us an O!- O!
0:08:18 > 0:08:21- Give us a V!- V!- Give us a...
0:08:21 > 0:08:24No, I can't be bothered. It's the Governor!
0:08:24 > 0:08:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:39 > 0:08:44- Who's the governor? - AUDIENCE:- You're the governor!
0:08:44 > 0:08:48Wonderful to see you. We've got a wonderful Freedom Show today.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52You'll decide who's going to go free.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56- We've got a marvellous act called Mat Ricardo...- Oooh!
0:08:56 > 0:09:01- ..we've got Rob Alton who does great things on his BMX!- Oooh!
0:09:01 > 0:09:05- We've got a magician called The Great Alfredo!- Oooh!
0:09:05 > 0:09:10But first, we've got a wonderful performer. He's a marvellous dancer.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13You're going to enjoy him. Will you give a big hand
0:09:13 > 0:09:17for the one and only Melvin Odoom!
0:09:17 > 0:09:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:09:24 > 0:09:30Sorry about that. A big hand for the one and only Melvin Odoom.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33CHEERING
0:09:36 > 0:09:42Yes, you have. ..The surprising and, when I get my hands on him,
0:09:42 > 0:09:45late Melvin Odoom!
0:09:45 > 0:09:47- AUDIENCE:- Yes!
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Melvin!
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Oh, bum.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Come here, you! Come here, you!
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Erm... Yes...
0:10:02 > 0:10:05Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08On with the show! On with the show.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10- Mr Burgess?- What? - Is the next act ready?
0:10:10 > 0:10:14I'm afraid the next act isn't ready, sir.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18Oh, good, good. That means erm...
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Anyone else fancy a go?
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Anyone want to do an act?
0:10:22 > 0:10:26What about you? You'll have a go. A round of applause, please.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29All right, well.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32- What's your name?- Shaun.
0:10:32 > 0:10:36- Shaun, have you got another name? - Walsh.- Shaun Walsh.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Shaun Walsh, what are you going to do?
0:10:38 > 0:10:43- Sing Rockin' Robin.- For Shaun Walsh, singing Rockin' Robin,
0:10:43 > 0:10:45it's a slap-up welcome.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47CHEERING
0:10:49 > 0:10:51# He rocks in the tree tops all day long
0:10:51 > 0:10:54# Hoppin' and a-boppin' and singin' that song
0:10:54 > 0:10:57# All the little birdies on J-bird Street
0:10:57 > 0:10:59# Love to hear the robin go tweet, tweet, tweet
0:10:59 > 0:11:03# Rockin' robin Rock, rock, rockin' robin
0:11:05 > 0:11:09# Flow rockin' robin cos we're really gonna rock tonight
0:11:27 > 0:11:29# Pretty little raven at the bird's dance
0:11:29 > 0:11:32# Taught him how to do the bop It was grand
0:11:32 > 0:11:34# They started going steady and bless my soul
0:11:34 > 0:11:37# He out-bopped the buzzard and the oriole
0:11:37 > 0:11:41# He rocks in the tree tops all day long
0:11:41 > 0:11:43# Hoppin' and a-boppin' just singing that song
0:11:43 > 0:11:46# All the little birdies on J-bird Street
0:11:46 > 0:11:49# Love to hear the robin go tweet, tweet, tweet
0:11:49 > 0:11:52# Rockin' robin Rock, rock, rockin' robin
0:11:55 > 0:11:58# Flow rockin' robin cos we're really gonna rock tonight
0:12:00 > 0:12:03# Tweedley-deedley-dee Tweedley, deedley
0:12:03 > 0:12:06# Tweedley-deedley-dee Tweedley, deedley
0:12:06 > 0:12:08# Tweedley-deedley-dee Tweedley, deedley
0:12:08 > 0:12:11# Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet. #
0:12:11 > 0:12:14CHEERING
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Give him a round of applause.
0:12:19 > 0:12:23Put him in a holding cell, he's not really a prisoner.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27I thought he was marvellous. Rocking Robin, what do you think of that?
0:12:27 > 0:12:32- Mr Burgess.- What did you think, sir? - He was very good and excellent.
0:12:32 > 0:12:37- What about his dance moves? Were you impressed?- Yeah, better than mine.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- Did you enjoy him? - Yeah, he was brilliant.
0:12:40 > 0:12:45Well, his dance moves were exotic. I've never seen them, but...
0:12:45 > 0:12:49Exotic! Mr Burgess likes exotic dancers, don't you?
0:12:49 > 0:12:50LAUGHTER
0:12:50 > 0:12:56- Could you sum that act up in one word?- Dramatic.- Dramatic!
0:12:56 > 0:13:01- Dramatic, sir.- This next performing prisoner, he's marvellous.
0:13:01 > 0:13:05Jailers and jailbirds, convict connoisseurs,
0:13:05 > 0:13:07will you give a big cheer to welcome...
0:13:07 > 0:13:11the one and only, the unique Mat Ricardo!
0:13:11 > 0:13:13CHEERING
0:13:17 > 0:13:20Thanks very much. Just one trick for you.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24A trick involving one table, two trays, one vase of flowers,
0:13:24 > 0:13:27four cups, four saucers, three spoons,
0:13:27 > 0:13:31one teaset and one tablecloth. Watch...very closely.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33DRUM ROLL
0:13:38 > 0:13:39One quick question.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42If you think I can do this,
0:13:42 > 0:13:43clap now.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48All right, fair enough.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50If you do not think I can do this,
0:13:50 > 0:13:52clap now. SCATTERED CLAPPING
0:13:52 > 0:13:58That's a few people. If you don't care if I can do this or not,
0:13:58 > 0:14:02and you're just watching to see me smash this, clap now.
0:14:05 > 0:14:06Fine.
0:14:07 > 0:14:08DRUM ROLL
0:14:11 > 0:14:16It's gone very quiet, hasn't it? You're looking at me, thinking
0:14:16 > 0:14:21it must be fake, strings, magnets. I'll prove to you now
0:14:21 > 0:14:24everything on the table is real.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27OK, the flowers are plastic... LAUGHTER
0:14:27 > 0:14:32Everything else is real. No tricks, no gimmicks, no strings.
0:14:32 > 0:14:33No magnets.
0:14:38 > 0:14:39Any questions?
0:14:42 > 0:14:45My favourite joke in the act.
0:14:45 > 0:14:46Obviously not yours.
0:14:46 > 0:14:51Everything's real. To prove it, here's one you can try at home.
0:14:51 > 0:14:52CHINA CLINKS
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Hup!
0:14:54 > 0:14:56A flying saucer! APPLAUSE
0:14:56 > 0:14:58You're too kind.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03AUDIENCE: Oh! APPLAUSE
0:15:05 > 0:15:06Oh-ho-ho!
0:15:08 > 0:15:09I made it.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Real genuine spoons.
0:15:12 > 0:15:16Watch closely. To prove the spoons are completely real...
0:15:23 > 0:15:25DRUM ROLL
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Every single one of you...
0:15:31 > 0:15:33I haven't done it yet.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Hup! DRUM ROLL
0:15:41 > 0:15:43APPLAUSE
0:15:47 > 0:15:51So...real cups, real saucers,
0:15:51 > 0:15:53real spoons, one question.
0:15:53 > 0:15:57Do you want to see this? AUDIENCE: Yeah!
0:15:57 > 0:15:58Oh, no.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02OK, I need your help. I need you to start clapping slowly.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05I need every single one of you to clap slowly with me,
0:16:05 > 0:16:09getting gradually faster and louder and, if we're lucky,
0:16:09 > 0:16:13if you clap loud enough we won't hear the crockery smashing.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16With me. Everybody!
0:16:16 > 0:16:22CLAPPING SPEEDS UP, DRUM ROLL
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Thank you very much indeed. Oh, OK.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25Hup!
0:16:25 > 0:16:27CHEERING
0:16:29 > 0:16:33That's all very well, but that's not the finale.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35This is the finale.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37One more time, everybody.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43CLAPPING GETS FASTER
0:16:46 > 0:16:48DRUM ROLL
0:16:48 > 0:16:49Hup!
0:16:55 > 0:16:59Give him a big round of applause, folks - Mat Ricardo!
0:16:59 > 0:17:01CHEERING
0:17:01 > 0:17:05Well, Mat Ricardo, what a wonderful performance.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09We know what he thought, but what did you think of him?
0:17:09 > 0:17:10Let's find out.
0:17:10 > 0:17:14- Views?- I think he's very skilled and talented.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17He chipped a bit of crockery,
0:17:17 > 0:17:23- do you think we could extend his sentence?- Erm... I didn't see it.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- You didn't, I did.- What did you think about Ricardo?
0:17:26 > 0:17:30- Boring because tons of people have done that before.- Thank you.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Mr Burgess, over to you for a final word.
0:17:33 > 0:17:37- I thought he was brilliant. - That's not one final word.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41- Amazing.- Amazing. - Another performing prisoner now,
0:17:41 > 0:17:44over in C block. This guy's wonderful.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48- Who's got a bike? Yeah. Can you do tricks on your bikes?- Yeah.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52I bet you ain't seen tricks like this.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Would you please welcome
0:17:54 > 0:17:57the unique talent of Rob Alton, BMX Master.
0:18:07 > 0:18:12POP MUSIC PLAYS
0:18:12 > 0:18:13HE MOUTHS
0:18:15 > 0:18:18# Though I saw Miss Luce down along the track
0:18:18 > 0:18:22# She lost her home and her family and she won't be coming back
0:18:22 > 0:18:27# Without love Where would you be right now?
0:18:30 > 0:18:35# Without love... #
0:18:36 > 0:18:39# We've got to educate our young boys and girls
0:18:39 > 0:18:41# Originality is what I'm living for today
0:18:41 > 0:18:46# Situations... # CLAPPING DROWNS OUT WORDS
0:18:46 > 0:18:50# ..All come together and act like human beings
0:18:50 > 0:18:51# Look around me
0:18:51 > 0:18:53# I see the sunlight never reaches the ground
0:18:53 > 0:18:56# My mind is lost My head is spinning round and round
0:18:56 > 0:18:58# Let me tell you what we must do
0:18:58 > 0:19:01# Making choices of the future depends on you
0:19:01 > 0:19:04# We know we have ten years to save the planet
0:19:04 > 0:19:06# Know what I mean? I hope... #
0:19:08 > 0:19:10CHEERING AND WHOOPING
0:19:29 > 0:19:32RAP CONTINUES
0:20:16 > 0:20:20CHEERING
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Very good. Give him a big cheer, boys and girls.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Give him a big cheer.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Marvellous Rob Alton. Very impressive,
0:20:28 > 0:20:32but it used to take him 5-and-a-half hours to do his paper round.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35- What did you think? - Can you ride a bike?
0:20:35 > 0:20:36- Yeah.- Good for you.
0:20:36 > 0:20:41- Now then, miss, what did you think? - I thought he was wonderful
0:20:41 > 0:20:45- and he's got my vote.- He's got your vote. We've got one act left to go,
0:20:45 > 0:20:49- you don't think the last act will top that?- I don't think so.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52- You don't think anything can better that?- No.
0:20:52 > 0:20:57Sir, for a final word on that act... Sum that up in one word, sir.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00- One word, sir.- Brilliant.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04- Thank you.- Well, one more performing prisoner to see.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07This act is a great favourite of mine.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10It was 20 years ago I first saw them perform
0:21:10 > 0:21:15their amazing disappearing act and I can't work out how they did it.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18It's got nothing to do with that tunnel. Oh!
0:21:18 > 0:21:22- Tunnel?- No, I can explain.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24- Tunnel?- It was the other bloke.
0:21:24 > 0:21:29- Listen...- You! I thought you were magic.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32I am, I am The Great Alfredo.
0:21:32 > 0:21:36The Great Alfraudo, more like. Mr Burgess, Gimbert, take him away.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38- No, no!- Right, come on.
0:21:38 > 0:21:42- No magic tunnel for you. Never mind the...- Cheat, it was a tunnel.
0:21:42 > 0:21:47And you can clear off and all. Big hairy thing, go on, off you go.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48Dear, oh, dear.
0:21:48 > 0:21:54- Well...- AUDIENCE: AW! - No, jailers and jailbirds,
0:21:54 > 0:21:58we promised you four acts and four acts you're going to have.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02So, jailers and jailbirds, for one night only,
0:22:02 > 0:22:03at no expense whatsoever,
0:22:03 > 0:22:07I'd like to present for you, The Swinging Slammers...
0:22:07 > 0:22:10and me! Music, maestro, please.
0:22:10 > 0:22:11Hit it!
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Oh, yes, here we go.
0:22:15 > 0:22:19# Now, stop what you're doing cos the governor's back in town
0:22:19 > 0:22:23# I'm gonna do a song Cos the inmates let me down
0:22:23 > 0:22:25# So hang on to your underpants
0:22:25 > 0:22:28# I've got a point to prove
0:22:28 > 0:22:30- # Who's the governor? # - ALL: You're the governor!
0:22:30 > 0:22:32# Governor of groove
0:22:32 > 0:22:37# I used to be a legend in the clubs of Lancashire
0:22:37 > 0:22:39# Not saying I was red hot
0:22:39 > 0:22:41# But me trumpet once caught fire
0:22:41 > 0:22:43# The king of swing The boss of bling
0:22:43 > 0:22:46# Ambassador of smooth
0:22:46 > 0:22:50# Who's the governor? The governor of groove... #
0:22:59 > 0:23:00MUSIC CONTINUES
0:23:08 > 0:23:12# So jailers and jailbirds, let me hear you cheer and clamour
0:23:12 > 0:23:16# If I don't win the competition No-one leaves The Slammer
0:23:16 > 0:23:21# Your fate is in my hands So let me hear you approve
0:23:21 > 0:23:25- # Who's the governor? # - ALL: You're the governor.
0:23:25 > 0:23:30# I am the governor of groove Oh, yeah! #
0:23:30 > 0:23:33CHEERING
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Thanks, jailers and jail... No, no.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Get off. I'm the governor.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41He's Mr Burgess? Dear, oh dear.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44I thought you were going to put us in a cell.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47I thought that was marvellous. Let's have a few comments.
0:23:47 > 0:23:53Erm...excellent, fantastic, really, really good.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57- Yes, and what about you?- Some improvements to be made...- Shut up.
0:23:57 > 0:24:02Well, jailers and jailbirds, I'd like a great big round of applause
0:24:02 > 0:24:06for some wonderful choreography from Mr Burgess and Gimbert.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09- Oh, yes. - WHISTLING
0:24:11 > 0:24:14All right, then. Very smart, very smart.
0:24:14 > 0:24:19It's time to find out who goes free with the clapometer.
0:24:19 > 0:24:25Clapometer as modelled by Gimbert. Is there no beginning to his talent?
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Whoever gets the biggest clap and cheer will go free
0:24:28 > 0:24:32because the clapometer will turn it into points.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35Let's welcome back all our performing prisoners.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Shaun Walsh, Mat Ricardo, Rob Alton,
0:24:38 > 0:24:41and well...me.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43All right, folks.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46There we go. Now...
0:24:46 > 0:24:51I will ask each performing prisoner to step forward,
0:24:51 > 0:24:55you will give them applause and then we'll see how many they get.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58The highest score goes free from The Slammer.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02This young man stepped in because somebody went missing - Mr Odoom -
0:25:02 > 0:25:06- who we'll deal with later. - We certainly will.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09- Thank you very much to a young man.. How old are you?- 11.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12He's only 11 and he sang wonderfully.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15Will you give a rocking welcome for Shaun Walsh?
0:25:15 > 0:25:19ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:25:21 > 0:25:24The score coming up for you now...
0:25:25 > 0:25:27That's a good score.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30Right this next gentleman, he did amazing things.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Don't try this when having your tea.
0:25:33 > 0:25:39Please show your appreciation for the wonderful Mat Ricardo!
0:25:39 > 0:25:41- APPLAUSE - Come on, let's hear it.
0:25:41 > 0:25:46Check the sound decibels. That's...
0:25:46 > 0:25:50That means you are staying in The Slammer, Mat.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54Now this gentleman, what things he did on his bike.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Let's see what you thought of Rob Alton.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE AND SCREAMING
0:26:07 > 0:26:11Dear, oh dear.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14Let's have a look there.
0:26:15 > 0:26:20He's in the lead, which means he can only be beaten by one performer.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Oh, I wonder, who could that be?
0:26:23 > 0:26:28You better show your appreciation for a slim, talented young man...
0:26:28 > 0:26:29Is he? No, it was me.
0:26:29 > 0:26:30It was me!
0:26:30 > 0:26:32ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Oh, fantastic.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44Well, that means that the winner this week and going free,
0:26:44 > 0:26:47he's paid his debt and he can go, on his bike,
0:26:47 > 0:26:49is Rob Alton. You're free to go.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51CHEERING
0:26:51 > 0:26:56Back in your cells. Shaun, we'll let you go later.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00Give them a nice big hand, ladies and gentlemen.
0:27:00 > 0:27:01Oh, marvellous.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06Rob Alton goes free, I can go to my office
0:27:06 > 0:27:09and everything's hunky-dory in The Slammer.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13We hope we see you again soon and remember... Come here.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15If you can't sing, dance or rhyme,
0:27:15 > 0:27:17don't do the crime.
0:27:17 > 0:27:21We'll catch you soon for some more fun on The Slammer.
0:27:21 > 0:27:22Bye-bye.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 2006
0:27:25 > 0:27:28E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
0:27:43 > 0:27:45- SHE MUTTERS - What's that?
0:27:45 > 0:27:50I can't hear you!
0:27:55 > 0:27:58I said, can I take this off now?
0:27:58 > 0:28:00Oh, right, why didn't you just say?
0:28:00 > 0:28:03I don't know why you're wearing it?