0:00:03 > 0:00:08# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime
0:00:08 > 0:00:13# So welcome to The Slammer where you're gonna serve your time
0:00:13 > 0:00:17# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste
0:00:17 > 0:00:21# Performing to the limit to try and get released
0:00:21 > 0:00:26# So go and fetch the audience, bring them to The Slammer
0:00:26 > 0:00:30# And polish up your act, with a bit of glitz and glamour
0:00:30 > 0:00:34# Your fate is in their hands, so make them cheer and clamour
0:00:34 > 0:00:39# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer
0:00:39 > 0:00:44# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:00:44 > 0:00:47I've called you into my office this morning
0:00:47 > 0:00:50to show you all the shape of things to come.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Ooh! That stings.
0:00:52 > 0:00:57Prepare to witness the next generation of prison warder.
0:00:57 > 0:00:58Gimbert? Cue the music.
0:00:58 > 0:01:02MUSIC: "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini"
0:01:02 > 0:01:03No, track two!
0:01:03 > 0:01:05MUSIC: Theme from "2001: A Space Odyssey"
0:01:05 > 0:01:08I give you...the future!
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Well, what do you think?
0:01:22 > 0:01:23What is it, Sir?
0:01:23 > 0:01:25- Isn't it obvious?- No.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27This is Warder Robot 2000.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Ahem...or Wardrobe for short.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33A completely computerised prison warder.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34Here we go again.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38Wardrobe is an Intelligent Karate Enforcement Android!
0:01:39 > 0:01:42So it's an Ikea wardrobe?
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Oh yes. Wardrobe knows karate...
0:01:44 > 0:01:46jujitsu...
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Isn't that the same as karate?
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Oh no. This is karate!
0:01:50 > 0:01:52This is jujitsu!
0:01:53 > 0:01:57So, as I was saying, the Wardrobe 2000 knows karate...
0:01:57 > 0:01:59jujitsu...
0:01:59 > 0:02:00and the Macarena!
0:02:00 > 0:02:03MUSIC: "Macarena" by Los Del Rio
0:02:04 > 0:02:07Ha-ha-ha. If it's half as good as his website says,
0:02:07 > 0:02:11- you lot are gonna be out of a job in three years.- ALL: What?
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Time for your first patrol, my beauty.
0:02:24 > 0:02:25Ooh!
0:02:25 > 0:02:26Hello, you two!
0:02:26 > 0:02:29- PETE AS PUPPET:- Three! - Er, yes, hello. Ooh!
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Just looking at the acts for today's Freedom Show.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34We've got Double Dutch...
0:02:36 > 0:02:37..Neon Man...
0:02:38 > 0:02:42..Half Human Video... Could be related to you!
0:02:42 > 0:02:44..And TJ Wheels.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47Very good. Well, I think that's everything,
0:02:47 > 0:02:50I'll leave you to get on with it, shall I?
0:02:50 > 0:02:53WARDROBE 2000: Beep beep! Order acknowledged!
0:02:58 > 0:02:59Mum?
0:02:59 > 0:03:01No! It's me, Robert!
0:03:01 > 0:03:05Robert! How are you doing? You've changed, ain't ya?
0:03:05 > 0:03:09No, it's just a costume. I'm pretending to be a robot.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Oh, right! Yeah! Good one!
0:03:11 > 0:03:14I like pretending. Look at this, I'm a peacock.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18- Waaaaaaaaa! Waaaaaaaaa! - No, no.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21I'm pretending to be a robot so I can break you out,
0:03:21 > 0:03:24cos Spanner and Ratchet, greatest double act on Earth,
0:03:24 > 0:03:26must be together again!
0:03:26 > 0:03:29- Hey, righty-tighty! - Lefty-loosey!
0:03:29 > 0:03:31BOTH: Aah, the good times!
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Anyway, mate, I'm useless without ya.
0:03:33 > 0:03:38Ever since you got locked in 'ere, the work has dried up.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42No-one wants to see a one-man double act. Believe me, I've tried!
0:03:45 > 0:03:48I dunno, what is brown and taps at the window?
0:03:49 > 0:03:53And that's usually when Simon comes on dressed as a chocolate bar.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55It really is very funny!
0:03:55 > 0:03:56- CROWD:- Boo! Rubbish!
0:03:56 > 0:03:57Lefty-loosey?
0:03:57 > 0:03:59LOUD HECKLING FROM CROWD
0:04:03 > 0:04:05So, I've gotta get you out of here!
0:04:05 > 0:04:07- Great! Let's go!- No, not yet!
0:04:07 > 0:04:10First I've got to convince the Governor
0:04:10 > 0:04:15- I'm the best prison warden in here. - OK, that shouldn't be too difficult.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19When I've got the keys and they're all busy at the Freedom Show,
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- we can just walk straight out! - That is brilliant!
0:04:22 > 0:04:24- Just one thing.- What's that?
0:04:24 > 0:04:27- Can I do my peacock impression again? Waaaaaaaaa!- No!
0:04:27 > 0:04:32Be quiet! All right? See you later. I've got work to do. Shut me flap.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45- Did you hear that?- Yes, I did! "Righty-tighty! Lefty-loosey!"?
0:04:45 > 0:04:48That's a rubbish catchphrase!
0:04:48 > 0:04:49No, the escape plan!
0:04:49 > 0:04:54You know what it's like after an escape! We're locked in our cells,
0:04:54 > 0:04:58- they cancel curry night and we can't use the jacuzzi!- We've got a jacuzzi?
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Only on curry night!
0:05:01 > 0:05:05MUSIC: "When The Going Gets Tough" by Boyzone
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Look at that, Robo-mop!
0:05:12 > 0:05:13Robo-pop!
0:05:19 > 0:05:21ALARM RINGS
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Ooh! He didn't need to use his karate!
0:05:26 > 0:05:30- Ooh!- Oh, what do you know! Robo-chop!
0:05:31 > 0:05:33When I said that in three years' time,
0:05:33 > 0:05:37I could see The Slammer being run by a fleet of hi-tech wardrobes,
0:05:37 > 0:05:39they all looked at me as if I was mad.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43After this morning, I think they were right!
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Anyway. Well done, Wardrobe 2000.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47It gives me great pleasure to present you
0:05:47 > 0:05:50with the keys to The Slammer!
0:05:53 > 0:05:56- I've got something to tell ya. - What is it, Nokio?
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- It's about the Wardrobe 2000. - It's brilliant.- No...
0:05:59 > 0:06:02- Brillianty-brillianty-brilliant! - Brilliant!
0:06:02 > 0:06:06Anyway, I'd like to announce that the winner of the title
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Warder of the Month, is...
0:06:11 > 0:06:12Wardrobe 2000!
0:06:12 > 0:06:15He's only been here since this morning,
0:06:15 > 0:06:18and he's Warden of the Month already!
0:06:18 > 0:06:20He'll be Warden of the Year by teatime!
0:06:20 > 0:06:25Somebody's gotta do something about this. You two, back to your cell...
0:06:25 > 0:06:28And I will have a quiet word with the Governor.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33No, Mr Burgess, I won't hear another word against him.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36- I've made my mind up!- But Sir... - Aa-aa-aah!- Choo!
0:06:36 > 0:06:40I didn't know robots could sneeze.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44According to the manual, Wardrobe 2000 is like us in every way,
0:06:44 > 0:06:48- but he's made of metal and he runs by batteries.- I don't believe it!
0:06:48 > 0:06:51It says so here. It's almost showtime,
0:06:51 > 0:06:54and I need to re-programme his duties.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56It's not a robot. It's got a face!
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Lovely, isn't it? Such attention to detail!
0:06:59 > 0:07:01I just need to wind him up...
0:07:01 > 0:07:04It's him that's winding me up! Time to take action!
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Help! Daddy! Save me from the nasty man!
0:07:06 > 0:07:11Mr Burgess! Have you gone mad? This is a valuable piece of equipment!
0:07:11 > 0:07:16- Undo those bolts! Open the flaps and take a look!- I'll lose my warranty!
0:07:16 > 0:07:20- Can't you see? He's up to no good! - You're just jealous!- But...
0:07:20 > 0:07:22- No buts! My decision is final. - But...
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Hey! What did I just say about buts? Eh? Eh? Now...
0:07:26 > 0:07:28- SIREN - How do I look?
0:07:28 > 0:07:31- (Divine.)- Divine, Sir. - What was that?
0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Divine, Sir.- That's better.
0:07:33 > 0:07:38Thank you very much. In that case, it's showtime!
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!
0:07:42 > 0:07:46'Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HM Slammer,
0:07:46 > 0:07:50'where you decide which prisoner is to be released!
0:07:50 > 0:07:52'Now, please welcome your host,
0:07:52 > 0:07:56'he's robot mad, and look! There's his dad!
0:07:56 > 0:07:59'it's the Governor!'
0:07:59 > 0:08:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:14 > 0:08:15Who's the Governor?
0:08:15 > 0:08:18ALL: You're the Governor!
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Hello, jailers and jailbirds.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23We've got some fantastic performing prisoners.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27And here, on The Slammer, is where you decide who goes free.
0:08:27 > 0:08:32Who's it going to be? Well, we have got a sensational act, very unusual.
0:08:32 > 0:08:36He gets all lit up! He's called the Neon Man. Let's have an "ooh"!
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Oooooooh!
0:08:38 > 0:08:43We've got an even more unusual act. Half-human, half-video.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46- He's called Half Human Video! - Oooooooh!
0:08:46 > 0:08:50And we've got a fabulous roller-skating act called TJ Wheels!
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Oooooooh!
0:08:52 > 0:08:55But right now, who's got a skipping rope? Yeah?
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Well, you ain't seen skipping like this.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02They're serving six months in the Bruce Forsyth section of The Slammer
0:09:02 > 0:09:07for, er, skipping bail! Please give a big welcome to DDF!
0:09:07 > 0:09:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:09:16 > 0:09:18UPTEMPO DANCE MUSIC
0:09:27 > 0:09:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:09:34 > 0:09:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:09:42 > 0:09:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:09:53 > 0:09:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:09:55 > 0:09:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:09:56 > 0:09:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:17 > 0:10:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:18 > 0:10:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:41 > 0:10:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:51 > 0:10:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:11:22 > 0:11:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:11:30 > 0:11:32LOUD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Hey, brilliant, brilliant!
0:11:37 > 0:11:41Give a big hand to DDF!
0:11:42 > 0:11:46But what did you think, with Mr Burgess? Let's skip over to him!
0:11:46 > 0:11:50Right. DDF there. Making it look easy with ropes, Miss, was it?
0:11:50 > 0:11:54I thought it was very good, and fantastic!
0:11:54 > 0:11:57What did you particularly enjoy?
0:11:57 > 0:12:03Well, I enjoyed it when they done the somersaults
0:12:03 > 0:12:05and the back...black...backflips.
0:12:05 > 0:12:09The back...flap...flips. You've got me doing it now!
0:12:09 > 0:12:12- Tell us all about it. - I thought it was spectacular
0:12:12 > 0:12:14and I loved the unique style.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18Unique style? What beautiful prose you have!
0:12:18 > 0:12:21What sort of things do you think they get up to in training?
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Running, jumping, timing.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27- Eating Pot Noodles, Sir? Do you think that comes into it?- No!
0:12:27 > 0:12:32And for one final word, to sum that act up... Miss.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35- Stunning.- Stunning, Sir!
0:12:35 > 0:12:37We got off to a skipping good start there.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Now, on to a very unusual act.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41This is the Neon Man. >
0:12:41 > 0:12:44DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:12:50 > 0:12:54He's serving 7½ months here in the Slammer, >
0:12:54 > 0:12:56for being light-fingered(!)
0:12:56 > 0:13:00Please show your appreciation for the Neon Man!
0:13:28 > 0:13:30JET ENGINE 'LANDING'
0:13:45 > 0:13:46DISCO MUSIC
0:13:49 > 0:13:50LAUGHTER
0:13:50 > 0:13:52CHILDREN CLAP IN TIME TO MUSIC
0:14:21 > 0:14:22CHEERING
0:14:26 > 0:14:29JET ENGINE 'APPROACHING'
0:14:29 > 0:14:31TYRES SCREECH
0:14:31 > 0:14:32CRASH
0:14:44 > 0:14:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Give some applause for the Neon Man!
0:14:51 > 0:14:54Let's have some illuminating thoughts
0:14:54 > 0:14:59- with Mr Burgess and his gang. - Neon Man...your thoughts, Miss?
0:14:59 > 0:15:03It was cool cos you couldn't tell there was a man behind it,
0:15:03 > 0:15:07- and he did all these cool tricks. - What cool tricks would these be?
0:15:07 > 0:15:12- He got hit by a plane.- He got hit by a plane? That's quite an act.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15What were the good things about the Neon Man?
0:15:15 > 0:15:19I thought it was absolutely fab, no doubt he will get my vote,
0:15:19 > 0:15:22It was spectacular!
0:15:22 > 0:15:25- You think he did all that by himself, Sir?- No.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28- You think he had accomplices?- Yes.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32- Should we be looking for another criminal within this prison?- Yes.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35- What should we do if we catch them? - Er, lock 'em up!
0:15:35 > 0:15:36For how long?
0:15:37 > 0:15:38A year!
0:15:38 > 0:15:42- Going a bit easy on him, isn't it, Sir?- His whole life!
0:15:42 > 0:15:46That's better, Sir. That's what I like to hear.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49- Sum that up in one word...Sir. - Illuminating.
0:15:49 > 0:15:50Illuminating, Sir!
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Well, who's gonna go free? You'll be deciding soon.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57Another unusual performing prisoner now.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59This is called Half Human Video.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02- Hey, righty-tighty! - Lefty-loosey!- Come on!
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Oh no, they're escaping, Melv!
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Leave it to me...
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Please welcome Half Human Video!
0:16:12 > 0:16:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:21 > 0:16:23# Boom-bah-boom-bah-boom-bah boom-ba-doom-ba
0:16:23 > 0:16:25# Boom-bah-boom-bah-boom-bah-boom
0:16:25 > 0:16:28BOTH: # Boom-bah-boom-bah-boom-bah boom-ba-doom-ba
0:16:28 > 0:16:30# Boom-bah-boom-bah-boom-bah-boom
0:16:30 > 0:16:32# Boom-bah-boom-bah-boom-bah boom-ba-doom-ba
0:16:32 > 0:16:34# Boom-bah-boom-bah-boom-bah-boom
0:16:34 > 0:16:36# Bah-ba-doo-ba-bah-ba-doo-ba. #
0:16:36 > 0:16:37Ooh!
0:16:37 > 0:16:40- # Bah-ba-doo-bah-bu-do-bum-bom... # - Ow! Stop!
0:16:40 > 0:16:42- What's the matter? - You hit me on my nose!
0:16:42 > 0:16:47- I didn't, did I?- Yes, you did! - You shouldn't be standing so close!
0:16:47 > 0:16:49- Shall we do it again?- All right.
0:16:49 > 0:16:53No, hang on a minute, how come you have a mic and I don't?
0:16:53 > 0:16:57- You don't need one.- You have a microphone. I want a microphone.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00You always do this to me, you know.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02LAUGHTER
0:17:02 > 0:17:03FEEDBACK
0:17:03 > 0:17:06That all right? 1-2... Yeah, is that OK? All right then.
0:17:06 > 0:17:11- Happy now?- Actually, no.- What, then? - I want a cup of tea first.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14- A cup of tea?- A couple of sips, just to wet my whistle.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16For goodness sake.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Actually, that's not a bad idea.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21Mouth's a bit dry, be with you in a minute!
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Can I have it back now, please?
0:17:23 > 0:17:26I don't know. Marvellous, eh(?)
0:17:26 > 0:17:27Bleugh!
0:17:27 > 0:17:32- I can't believe you just did that! - I'm sorry, I tripped on the towel!
0:17:32 > 0:17:36- How can you be so clumsy? - It wasn't my fault, it's...
0:17:39 > 0:17:41HE SIGHS
0:17:41 > 0:17:45- Shall we do it one more time? - All right. We don't have much time.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48- OK, d'you wanna count it in? - No, you count it in.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52- All right, then.- All right, then. - One, two, a-one, two...
0:17:52 > 0:17:55ELECTRICAL BUZZ Now what's happened?
0:17:55 > 0:17:57- I don't know.- There's a buzz.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59- Unless it's this.- Unless it's what?
0:17:59 > 0:18:03- This box of wires that I just kicked.- You kicked a box of wires?
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- Look.- He just kicked a box of wires!
0:18:06 > 0:18:10There's something...a wire coming out. Come and have a look!
0:18:10 > 0:18:14- It's that one there, look. - Oh, I see what you've done.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18- You know about this sort of thing. - Yeah...- You're cleverer than I am.
0:18:18 > 0:18:22All you have to do is put that in here. There you go.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24- Hi kids.- Fixed it. - GASPS
0:18:24 > 0:18:28- Oi, what are you doing out there? - Saying hello to everybody.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31You having a good time?
0:18:31 > 0:18:33- KIDS:- Yeah!
0:18:33 > 0:18:36- What have you done? - Are you enjoying my show?
0:18:36 > 0:18:40- It's not your show, it's my show! - It's my show!- Don't listen to him!
0:18:40 > 0:18:43- Pay no attention to him. - He's dangerous!
0:18:43 > 0:18:47- I'm not dangerous! I'm the Half Human Video!- Just let me out!
0:18:47 > 0:18:51- For goodness sake.- Let me out! - He's over-reacting.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55Thanks for watching. See you later on. Bye!
0:19:00 > 0:19:04Some cheers for Half Human Video, please!
0:19:04 > 0:19:07Mr Burgess, what did your lot make of that?
0:19:07 > 0:19:12- Half Human Video. Worth it?- It was hilarious when they switched places,
0:19:12 > 0:19:16- and it was unusual - a lot of thought must have gone into it.- How much?
0:19:16 > 0:19:21- Quite a lot.- In days, how would you equate that thought process?
0:19:23 > 0:19:242,006?
0:19:24 > 0:19:27What did you think of the Half Human Video?
0:19:27 > 0:19:29I think it was very good,
0:19:29 > 0:19:32I don't know how they managed to get both bits in,
0:19:32 > 0:19:35but I think that will be a ten out of ten.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39- And, Sir?- I thought it was ingenious.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43- What was ingenious about it?- The fact they were talking to each other,
0:19:43 > 0:19:47yet one was on TV and one was here in real life.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- Is that your lot, Sir?- That's my lot.- That's it?- Yes.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54- Nothing else to add?- No. - I can't press you on that?- No.
0:19:54 > 0:19:59- That's absolutely the lot?- That's the lot!- Nothing else?- Nothing else.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03- You sure?- I'm sure.- I can't twist your arm?- You can't twist my arm!
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- Final chance, Sir?- I just think...
0:20:06 > 0:20:10Oh, you said you didn't want to say anything else!
0:20:10 > 0:20:16Right, madam, one word to sum that act up, if you very please!
0:20:16 > 0:20:18- Unusual.- Unusual, Sir!
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Three performing acts you've seen,
0:20:20 > 0:20:23one more then you'll decide who goes free.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Urrrgh!
0:20:26 > 0:20:29PUNCHES ARE THROWN
0:20:30 > 0:20:31Huh?
0:20:32 > 0:20:36Ow, me screws! Ow, me nuts and bolts!
0:20:40 > 0:20:42It's you! Robert Ratchet!
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Tin foiled again!
0:20:44 > 0:20:50Please give a huge ovation to TJ Wheels!
0:20:51 > 0:20:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:20:57 > 0:20:58DANCE MUSIC
0:21:06 > 0:21:07GASPS
0:21:09 > 0:21:10Hello.
0:21:10 > 0:21:11ALL: Hello.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:23 > 0:21:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:30 > 0:21:31KIDS CLAP ALONG IN TIME
0:21:50 > 0:21:54MUSIC: "Super Fly (Upper MC)" by Music Instructor
0:21:54 > 0:21:56LOUD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:56 > 0:21:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:33 > 0:22:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:02 > 0:23:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:30 > 0:23:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:32 > 0:23:36Well, there he is. Give him a big hand, jailers and jailbirds!
0:23:38 > 0:23:43What did you think of TJ Wheels?
0:23:43 > 0:23:47TJ Wheels there. Was he wheel-y good, Miss?
0:23:47 > 0:23:52I think he was excellent. The best bit was when he did a handstand,
0:23:52 > 0:23:56when he was skating and then he did a handstand.
0:23:56 > 0:24:00- Good roller-skating?- It's a 9.9 out of 10.- 9.9 out of 10?
0:24:00 > 0:24:04- Cos he dropped the pins down there. - Everyone's a critic!
0:24:04 > 0:24:08- Were you frightened when he jumped at you?- I stepped right back!
0:24:08 > 0:24:11- Best thing to do, eh? - I thought he was gonna hit me!
0:24:11 > 0:24:15- He wouldn't hit you! He's a nice fella!- Not punch me!
0:24:15 > 0:24:17I know he wouldn't do that!
0:24:17 > 0:24:21If he did that, he'd be here for another six months!
0:24:21 > 0:24:25- Sir?- It was really unseen... - It was really what? Unseen?
0:24:25 > 0:24:29- Because it was...- Is this a newfangled word from the street?
0:24:29 > 0:24:31What is that, Sir?
0:24:31 > 0:24:36It's really brilliant and fabulous how he juggled when he was skating
0:24:36 > 0:24:38that was... Nobody can do that.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41I think you summed it up rather well there.
0:24:41 > 0:24:45- Have you got anything for me, Sir? - Amazing.- Amazing, Sir!
0:24:45 > 0:24:48A final word without even asking for it.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52Well, that was TJ Wheels, and your views, but who's gonna go free?
0:24:52 > 0:24:56It's make-your-mind-up time. Welcome them all back!
0:24:56 > 0:25:02DDF! The Neon Man! Half Human Video! And TJ Wheels!
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Here they come... there's lots of them...
0:25:05 > 0:25:09But only one act can go free. It's up to you, convict connoisseurs,
0:25:09 > 0:25:13to decide who will go through, with this, the Clap-o-meter.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17Yes, the more noise you make, the higher the score.
0:25:17 > 0:25:18It's as simple as that.
0:25:18 > 0:25:23Jailers and jailbirds, you loved them, let's see what score they get.
0:25:23 > 0:25:28They were marvellous skippers, will they be skipping out? It's DDF!
0:25:36 > 0:25:40A fabulous score. 87.4! Yeah!
0:25:40 > 0:25:45Will they be going free? Who knows. Next, an unusual performer,
0:25:45 > 0:25:51he glowed in the dark. Will he be glowing with success? The Neon Man!
0:25:57 > 0:26:02Going up there, good score! 74.6! In the lead still is DDF.
0:26:02 > 0:26:07But now, the strangest act I've ever seen. It's Half Human Video!
0:26:12 > 0:26:17A good score, there. But no, you're back for more porridge, I'm afraid.
0:26:17 > 0:26:23It's 83.3. Still in the lead and set to go free at the moment is DDF.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27Just one more performing prisoner act to see.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30He was on his wheels, is he going free?
0:26:30 > 0:26:34Jailers and jailbirds, your applause please for TJ Wheels!
0:26:40 > 0:26:45It's good... Oh, it's a great score but I don't think it's enough. 82.1.
0:26:45 > 0:26:49That means going free, the winners, it's DDF!
0:26:49 > 0:26:52You're free to go. Take them away. Off you go.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Well, it'll cut down on the porridge bill.
0:26:55 > 0:26:59Incidentally, Mr Burgess, what's for tea for everybody else?
0:26:59 > 0:27:04- Sloppy-poppy porridge, but with a twist.- What's the twist?- Extra plop.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Off you go, back to the cellars.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09They were great, but they're staying with us.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13Remember, if you can't sing, dance or rhyme...
0:27:13 > 0:27:16KIDS: Don't do the crime!
0:27:16 > 0:27:20See you again soon for more fun in the Slammer! Yeah!
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Bye, everybody!
0:27:38 > 0:27:40Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:40 > 0:27:42E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Righty-tighty!
0:27:44 > 0:27:45Lefty-loosey!
0:27:45 > 0:27:48- Together again... - BOTH: ..at last!
0:27:49 > 0:27:52You can take that cardboard box off now.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Yep.