0:00:03 > 0:00:06# You've been found guilty
0:00:06 > 0:00:08# Of a howling show-biz crime
0:00:08 > 0:00:10# So welcome to The Slammer
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# Where you gotta serve your time
0:00:12 > 0:00:14# With every type of minstrel
0:00:14 > 0:00:17# Entertainer and artiste
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# Performing to the limit
0:00:20 > 0:00:21# To try and get released
0:00:21 > 0:00:24# So go fetch the audience
0:00:24 > 0:00:26# Bring them to The Slammer
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# And polish up your act
0:00:28 > 0:00:30# With a bit of glitz and glamour
0:00:30 > 0:00:32# Your fate is in their hands
0:00:32 > 0:00:34# So make 'em cheer and clamour
0:00:34 > 0:00:37# It's the only way you'll ever leave
0:00:37 > 0:00:39- # The Slammer! - # Leave The Slammer
0:00:39 > 0:00:42# It's the only way you'll ever leave
0:00:42 > 0:00:44# The Slammer!
0:00:46 > 0:00:48- Same again.- Sloppy, ploppy porridge.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Every day sloppy, ploppy, porridge.
0:00:51 > 0:00:56Nonsense, Nokio! Only yesterday it was ploppy, sloppy porridge.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59- Ah, Frank.- Afternoon, sir.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01Lunch smells, er...ploppy.
0:01:01 > 0:01:05Today's Freedom Show act should eat well - they'll need energy.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07We've got...
0:01:07 > 0:01:08Christian Magician.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Side Swipe.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Ed Muir on Chinese Pole.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15And Waterman.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18If only I could be in the Freedom Show.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21- I know I could win. - Don't you mean we?
0:01:21 > 0:01:24I know I could wee? What are you talking about?
0:01:24 > 0:01:25Hello.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29Is, er, anybody sat here?
0:01:29 > 0:01:34I'm new. Tony Trance, stage hypnotist.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Wow, I've heard of you, nice to meet ya.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41Oh...er...
0:01:41 > 0:01:45Did you get 8 years for forgetting to un-hypnotise an audience?
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Yeah. It was quite embarrassing.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52200 people all thinking they were Elvis Presley.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55The queue at the burger stand was massive!
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- CLANG! - Oh...- SNIFFS.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02You've got a very strong au-u-u-ra!
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Probably the porridge, hynotism's rubbish.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07No, no, don't be rude, Melv.
0:02:07 > 0:02:13It's OK, a lot of people are sceptical, Melvin Odoom.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Hey, no way! He knows your name.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20Oh, yes. Although, to be fair, it is written on his shirt.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24Could you hypnotise me? Or Melvin? Or a goldfish?
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Are you hypnotising us now? Are ya?
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Leave it, it's a load of rubbish.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31I'm not hypnotising you!
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Even if I was hypnotising you I'd have to use my...
0:02:34 > 0:02:36..magic amulet!
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Then I would get you to stare into the amulet with your tiny eyes
0:02:40 > 0:02:44until you were feeling sleepy. Then some simple words
0:02:44 > 0:02:48such as, wacka-chakka-pom-pom you're under!
0:02:48 > 0:02:50And you'd fall into a trance.
0:02:50 > 0:02:55And I just have to click my fingers and you will do anything I want.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59Such as, I don't know, think your pants are on fire.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01OK?
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- FIRE CRACKLING - Ah! Aaarrrrrgggghhhh!
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Oh no! I've done it again.
0:03:05 > 0:03:10He'll be all right in an hour, or is it ten? I forget.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14Click your fingers and he'll do anything you say.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17- Must dash.- Oh. CLANG!
0:03:18 > 0:03:20I wish I could hypnotise people.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23I could MAKE the governor put me in the Freedom Show.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32Precious!
0:03:32 > 0:03:38So much control. So much power. My sparkly, magical, knick-knack.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Don't mess with things like that, it's a bad idea.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43No, you think it's a great idea.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45I think it's a great idea.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47And...you're French.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Oui, une bonne idee.
0:03:49 > 0:03:50And...a woman.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52- SQUEAKY:- Une bonne idee.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54What's all the noise in here?
0:03:54 > 0:03:55Oh, er, nothing.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59I'm just showing Melvin my new puppet, Mr Hypno.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01"Hello."
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Your puppets will never cease to amaze me
0:04:04 > 0:04:06as they never started to amaze me!
0:04:06 > 0:04:10In that case, concentrate on the cheeky trinket.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Oh, Mr Gimbert, you're starting to feel sleepy
0:04:14 > 0:04:15and a bit dopey.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17He's always dopey, but I feel sleepy.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19You're under!
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Mon dieu, tu l'a fais?
0:04:21 > 0:04:22Mr Burgess, Mr Gimbert,
0:04:22 > 0:04:26you will be the opposite of everything you normally are.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28You're back.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31What happened there?
0:04:31 > 0:04:35Well, thank you, Peter, I enjoyed meeting your puppets.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38You know, I don't know why but I really like you.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41- And you Madame Odoom.- Merci.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45I like you two so much I'm going to recommend you for release.
0:04:45 > 0:04:50That's against Slammer Code Of Conduct, section B267/4:
0:04:50 > 0:04:54- prisoners must be incarcerated. - Chill out! It's a beautiful world!
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Let's go spread some smiles.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Sorry, run me through this again, Frank.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04I want the prisoners to have cupcakes, medals, Jacuzzis,
0:05:04 > 0:05:08fluffy pillows, mints and to be released early, sir.
0:05:08 > 0:05:09It's what they deserve.
0:05:09 > 0:05:14That will cost exactly £871.14 assuming inflation at 3%.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15What's happened?
0:05:15 > 0:05:17You've both gone weird.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19I just want to hug the prisoners.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22I'm going to find out what's happened!
0:05:22 > 0:05:27- Wait, sir! I want to give you a hug as well.- Get out of it!
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Je voudrais prendre une douche.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33- Peter?- Hello, Peter, me old mate. - Greetings inmate.
0:05:33 > 0:05:34Bonjour!
0:05:34 > 0:05:37What have you been doing?
0:05:37 > 0:05:41Oh, well, it was this amulet... That's right, the amulet!
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Have a look, have a look and relax...
0:05:44 > 0:05:46..and you're under!
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Governor, forget anything you saw here today.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Forget everything.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Forget everything.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Was there something you wanted, gov?
0:05:55 > 0:05:56Who's governor?
0:05:56 > 0:05:58You're governor.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02No really, who's governor? Who am I? What is this place?
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Why am I wearing this suit?
0:06:04 > 0:06:09- 1.7 minutes to show time.- Would a little squeeze help, sir?
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Whoa, snap out of it. I didn't mean everything!
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Governor, wake up!
0:06:15 > 0:06:19Peter, I've lost my amulet, can't find it, have you seen...?
0:06:19 > 0:06:23- What's going on?- Oh, Tony, I've proper messed up.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25I've got your amulet, wish I didn't.
0:06:25 > 0:06:29I tried to use it but it's gone horribly wrong
0:06:29 > 0:06:33I need your help, please can you help me? Ah!
0:06:33 > 0:06:35NOOOOOO!!!
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Only kidding! I had you going!
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Let's get everyone back to normal, shall we?
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Eu-u-r-r-r-g-ghh!
0:06:42 > 0:06:46Bub-dibbly-ub-dub. Bub-dibbly-ub-dub.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Bub-bub-dub-bub-bub-bowwwwww! Bub!
0:06:49 > 0:06:53- Mm.- Oh! Right. Whatever just happened, just didn't.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57You and your mind-bending friend have some explaining to do, pronto.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00- His name's Peter, not Pronto. - Shut up!
0:07:00 > 0:07:05- Show time, sir.- What is show time? What is time? Who's Noel Edmunds?
0:07:05 > 0:07:09Oh, deary me, looks like you've got him in a very deep trance.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Don't worry, I've an idea.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Look into the amule-e-et!
0:07:15 > 0:07:18And you are the governor.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21For now, while I try and get him fixed.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Who's the governor? I'm the governor!
0:07:25 > 0:07:28In that case, it's....
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Show time!
0:07:31 > 0:07:35Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HM Slammer
0:07:35 > 0:07:38where you decide which prisoner is released.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Now, please welcome your host.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44Keeping criminals at bay until you've had your say,
0:07:44 > 0:07:46it's the governor!
0:07:46 > 0:07:48APPLAUSE
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Who's the governor?
0:08:03 > 0:08:05- AUDIENCE:- You're the governor!
0:08:05 > 0:08:10Welcome to The Slammer. Let me tell you about the acts we've got.
0:08:10 > 0:08:15We've got some wonderful guys who do extreme martial arts,
0:08:15 > 0:08:16called Side Swipe.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- Ooooo!- Oooooo!
0:08:19 > 0:08:22And a guy that works with a skinny lamppost,
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Ed Muir on Chinese pole.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27- Ooooo!- Ooooo!
0:08:27 > 0:08:31And also a gentlemen that does amazing things with water.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33And the act's called Waterman!
0:08:33 > 0:08:36- Ooooo!- Ooooo!
0:08:36 > 0:08:40First, we have a wonderful act for you. He's a magician
0:08:40 > 0:08:44but will he be magicking his way out or staying for a longer spell?
0:08:44 > 0:08:49Let's find out as you give a warm welcome to Christian Magician!
0:08:49 > 0:08:52APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:09:05 > 0:09:06APPLAUSE
0:09:24 > 0:09:25APPLAUSE
0:09:34 > 0:09:35APPLAUSE
0:09:59 > 0:10:00APPLAUSE
0:10:22 > 0:10:23APPLAUSE
0:10:44 > 0:10:46APPLAUSE
0:10:58 > 0:11:00APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:11:05 > 0:11:07APPLAUSE
0:11:10 > 0:11:11APPLAUSE
0:11:14 > 0:11:16APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Well, what an amazing act.
0:11:22 > 0:11:27But will you be saying abracadabra or abracadoo-doo? Over to Mr Burgess.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Your favourite bit?
0:11:29 > 0:11:31When the bird just disappeared.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33The BUR-GESS disappeared? Me?
0:11:33 > 0:11:36No! The actual bird.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Oh, the bir-D just disappeared. Diction!
0:11:39 > 0:11:45- What did you think?- I thought it was really good, the dogs were cute.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47- They were. Do you have dogs?- No.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49- Might you release him today?- Yes.
0:11:49 > 0:11:54- You haven't seen the others.- Yeah. - Wow, you must have loved him.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58- And sum that act up in one final word, sir.- Exhilarating.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Exhilarating, sir, very good, very good.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Time for today's second act.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06And what an act for you, it's wonderful!
0:12:06 > 0:12:10Your full name is Edward Archibald Robbins.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13You have a liking for drinking tea,
0:12:13 > 0:12:18marmalade, silk underpants and the music of James Blunt.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Forget the last one, I'll do you a favour.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24And you're the governor of The Slammer,
0:12:24 > 0:12:28Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-poo! And you're back.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32- You still in a trance?- No, give us a hand out of this chair.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36- The Freedom Show!- Gov, this way. - Oh, yes.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40- Hey, there seems to be a mistake here.- Hey, there's no mistake here.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43- There is a mistake. - There isn't a mistake.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46- I'm the governor!- I'm the governor!
0:12:46 > 0:12:48- I'm governor!- I'm governor!
0:12:48 > 0:12:52- Never mind all that.- Never mind all that.- We'll decide...
0:12:52 > 0:12:55- Who's the governor? - You're the governor!
0:12:55 > 0:12:58There, see. Hand it over. Thank you.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00- Mr Burgess, take him to the cells. - Right.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02- Clear off.- What you doing?
0:13:02 > 0:13:07- Hello, who's the governor? - You're the governor!
0:13:07 > 0:13:11Got rid of him. Your suit looks ridiculous. On with the show.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15In The Slammer for knocking an audience out, literally -
0:13:15 > 0:13:19the martial arts genius of Side Swipe!
0:13:19 > 0:13:20APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:13:25 > 0:13:27RAGGA MUSIC PLAYS
0:14:16 > 0:14:18APPLAUSE
0:14:18 > 0:14:21MUSIC: "Pump It" by Black Eyed Peas
0:15:26 > 0:15:28HA-A-A!
0:15:28 > 0:15:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:35 > 0:15:40Careful with them lot, they'll come back at ya like that.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43- He-ha-oo-ha-he-ha-oo. - BACK CRACKS
0:15:43 > 0:15:47Ohhh! No, you're all right, love, go get me embrocation.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49- Oh, dear, oh. - AUDIENCE GIGGLE
0:15:49 > 0:15:52- I think I've pulled a fat. - LAUGHTER
0:15:52 > 0:15:59Anyway, what did you think of that act? Mr Burgess? Mr Burgess? Oh!
0:15:59 > 0:16:05Now then, sir, was that crouching tiger or a hidden dragon?
0:16:05 > 0:16:08It was really good, they were very acrobatic.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11- They were very skilful. - Very skilful.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15- You liked that?- Yes.- Preferred it to the first?- They're equal.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19- They're equal in your mind?- Yes. It's going to be a tight contest.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23"It's going to be tight." I like how you're thinking.
0:16:23 > 0:16:24Did you like them?
0:16:24 > 0:16:30Fantastic is not the word, it was brilliant. It was awesome, quality.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33Have one final word, sir!
0:16:33 > 0:16:37- Lively.- Lively, sir!
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Will Side Swipe be karate-ing they're way to freedom?
0:16:41 > 0:16:45You will decide. On to our next performing prisoner.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47What an act! A man and his pole.
0:16:47 > 0:16:52- He's serving...- Right, this should get everything back to normal.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Your full name is Peter Nokio.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00You are a friend of Melvin Odoom.
0:17:00 > 0:17:01Just a sec.
0:17:01 > 0:17:05And you'll clean the cell even if it's Melvin's turn.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09You'll let Melvin choose the TV channel and give him your pudding.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12- Ala-la-ca-a!- Ah! CLANG
0:17:12 > 0:17:15What will you think of Ed Muir on Chinese Pole?
0:17:15 > 0:17:17APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:17:29 > 0:17:31# If someone stood up in a crowd
0:17:31 > 0:17:34# And raised his voice up way out loud
0:17:34 > 0:17:36# And waved his arm and shook his leg
0:17:36 > 0:17:39# You'd notice him
0:17:41 > 0:17:43# If someone in the movie show
0:17:43 > 0:17:46# Yelled "Fire in the second row"
0:17:46 > 0:17:48# This whole place is a powder keg
0:17:48 > 0:17:50# You'd notice him
0:17:53 > 0:17:57# And even without clucking like a hen
0:17:57 > 0:18:00# Everyone gets noticed now and then
0:18:00 > 0:18:05# Unless of course that personage should be...
0:18:06 > 0:18:08# ..invisible
0:18:08 > 0:18:11# inconsequential
0:18:12 > 0:18:13# ..me!
0:18:18 > 0:18:21# Cellophane
0:18:21 > 0:18:24# Mr Cellophane
0:18:24 > 0:18:27# Should'a been my name
0:18:27 > 0:18:29# Mr Cellophane
0:18:29 > 0:18:33# Cos you can look right through me
0:18:33 > 0:18:36# Walk right by me
0:18:36 > 0:18:40# And never know I'm there
0:18:40 > 0:18:44# I tell ya, Cellophane
0:18:44 > 0:18:47# Mr Cellophane
0:18:47 > 0:18:49# Should'a been my name
0:18:49 > 0:18:52# Mr Cellophane
0:18:52 > 0:18:55# Cos you can look right through me
0:18:55 > 0:18:59# Walk right by me
0:18:59 > 0:19:04# And never know I'm there
0:19:04 > 0:19:07# I tell ya
0:19:07 > 0:19:09# Cellophane
0:19:09 > 0:19:12# Mr Cellophane
0:19:12 > 0:19:15# Should'a been my name
0:19:15 > 0:19:17# Mr Cellophane
0:19:17 > 0:19:20# Cos you can look right through me
0:19:20 > 0:19:24# Walk right by me
0:19:24 > 0:19:28# And never know I'm there
0:19:28 > 0:19:35# Never...even...know...
0:19:39 > 0:19:42# I'm there
0:19:42 > 0:19:44CHEERING AND APPLUASE
0:19:48 > 0:19:51# I hope I haven't taken up too much of your time. #
0:19:53 > 0:19:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:20:01 > 0:20:04I'm walking into the pole I was that impressed.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07But what did you think of that act?
0:20:07 > 0:20:10I liked it cos he did lots I'd like to do.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12So what would you like to do?
0:20:12 > 0:20:16- Hang upside down. - Are you a bat, sir?- Maybe.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18What a strange boy.
0:20:18 > 0:20:24It was cool. I didn't think he'd be able to hold on that long.
0:20:24 > 0:20:30He's brave. But I'm not sure about his clothes, the hat especially.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33- LAUGHTER - Right, and for one final word.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36- Sir...- Gravity-defying.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39That's two, but I'll allow it. Gravity-defying.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Ed Muir on his pole. Has he done enough to go free?
0:20:42 > 0:20:45One more act to see. Are you having a good time?
0:20:45 > 0:20:48- Yeah! - AUDIENCE: YEAH!
0:20:48 > 0:20:50One more prisoner to see.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53What a marvellous act this is.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57It's very unusual. He's called Waterman, he's serving one year
0:20:57 > 0:21:02for going to a Wet Wet Wet concert and making them wet-wet-wetter.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Please give a great big welcome to Waterman!
0:21:05 > 0:21:07APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:21:07 > 0:21:10CALYPSO-STYLE MUSIC PLAYS
0:23:00 > 0:23:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Give him a big cheer!
0:23:08 > 0:23:10CHEERING
0:23:11 > 0:23:13I need me wellies after that.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16Well, wet, wet, wet, what, what, what?
0:23:16 > 0:23:18Waterman or Waterworld?
0:23:18 > 0:23:23I thought it was absolutely brilliant and I love the way he squirted
0:23:23 > 0:23:27water out of his mouth. I'd give him nine out of ten.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31- Did you like that unusual act? - Yeah, it was incredible.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34He was like a human water-fountain.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38I woulnd't like a drink from that fountain, would you?
0:23:38 > 0:23:42- No! Eurgh. But good enough to go free?- Yeah.
0:23:42 > 0:23:46Now, I believe you've drawn a picture of this act.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50- Yes.- Would you like to hold it up and show everyone?
0:23:50 > 0:23:53Hold it up nice and high. There's Waterman, there.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59- Waterman, yakking up the water, is that how you descibe it?- Yes.
0:23:59 > 0:24:06- Yakking water?- Yes.- Yes. Any other way of descibing that act, sir?
0:24:06 > 0:24:10It was very good, I thought it was a bit weird, though.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Right for one final word...
0:24:12 > 0:24:15- Sir...- 'Mazin'.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17'Mazin', sir.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21Well, true variety there, four different acts.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Only one can go free with the aid of this...
0:24:24 > 0:24:26..the clapometer!
0:24:26 > 0:24:30But first let's welcome them all back, the performing prisoners,
0:24:30 > 0:24:34Christian Magician, Side Swipe,
0:24:34 > 0:24:37Ed Muir on Chinese Pole and Waterman!
0:24:37 > 0:24:41Oh, marvellous. There they are.
0:24:41 > 0:24:46What's going to happen? Who's going to get the highest score?
0:24:46 > 0:24:49First, a very unusual act, costing us a fortune
0:24:49 > 0:24:52here in The Slammer, just in pet food.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Will he go free with his chums? Make noise for...
0:24:55 > 0:24:58..Christian Magician!
0:24:58 > 0:25:01SCREAMING, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Oh, wow!
0:25:05 > 0:25:09A great score, 83.4.
0:25:09 > 0:25:13And that's for the doggie and the paws, wonderful!
0:25:13 > 0:25:17These men were knock-out, weren't they? All over the place
0:25:17 > 0:25:20with martial arts. What did you think of Side Swipe?
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Wow, look at that.
0:25:31 > 0:25:32Into the lead.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36Into the lead, with 89 it's Side Swipe. Yeah!
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Perhaps they'll be able to buy some shoes.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45But the next man had shoes, he had a hat, he had a pole.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Will he go over the wall on his pole?
0:25:47 > 0:25:50It's Ed Muir on Chinese Pole.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:57 > 0:26:01A great act but you're staying for sloppy, ploppy porridge.
0:26:01 > 0:26:06Good score. But still in the lead with 89, will that be enough
0:26:06 > 0:26:09for Side Swipe to go free?
0:26:09 > 0:26:13Welcome our final act. They were unusual, sensational,
0:26:13 > 0:26:16will they be going free from The Slammer?!
0:26:16 > 0:26:18It's Waterman!
0:26:18 > 0:26:20APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:26:25 > 0:26:30It's a good score, 81.1. But that means the winners going free
0:26:30 > 0:26:34swiping their way out on 89, it's Side Swipe!
0:26:34 > 0:26:37- CHEEERING - You're free to go.
0:26:37 > 0:26:41Take them away, you're free to go. Give them a cheer!
0:26:42 > 0:26:46They're out. Great scores. Give all the prisoners
0:26:46 > 0:26:49a big round of applause. They were all brilliant.
0:26:49 > 0:26:54But...it means they're going back to the cells.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57It means you're staying for tea, as well.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59And, Mr Burgess, what's for tea?
0:26:59 > 0:27:02It's a three course meal tonight, sir.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05At last! What are the three courses?
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Sloppy, ploppy and porridge.
0:27:08 > 0:27:14OH! Take them back there. Big round of applause for all of them.
0:27:17 > 0:27:21That's almost it from The Slammer but remember
0:27:21 > 0:27:23if you can't sing, dance or rhyme...
0:27:23 > 0:27:26AUDIENCE: DON'T DO THE CRIME!
0:27:26 > 0:27:30Join us again soon, for more fun. Give us a cheer and bye-bye!
0:27:30 > 0:27:32CHEERING
0:27:37 > 0:27:39# It's the only way you'll ever leave
0:27:39 > 0:27:41# The Slammer! #
0:27:41 > 0:27:45Well, that's taught me a lesson.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48I'm never going to use hypnosis again.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51Tony, Mr Burgess says you have to sort through
0:27:51 > 0:27:54these cheesy socks for laundry.
0:27:56 > 0:28:00A-A-A-AH!
0:28:00 > 0:28:02- Sleep! - CLANG
0:28:04 > 0:28:07Well, nearly never!