0:00:02 > 0:00:05"Dear Mum. Thanks for washing Charlie. Not sure about the ribbons."
0:00:05 > 0:00:08- I hate that woman!- Shh, Charlie!- Oh!
0:00:08 > 0:00:11"We had some great acts on the Freedom Show today.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13"The acts were on fire!
0:00:13 > 0:00:17"The audience were amazed and some people got a bit carried away."
0:00:17 > 0:00:19I'm going in, Frank!
0:00:19 > 0:00:23"We even had Marvellous Marvin. Yes, Mum. THE Marvellous Marvin.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Although, his act wasn't quite what we expected.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28You can say that again!
0:00:28 > 0:00:31- Although his act wasn't quite... - Not literally, you drongo!
0:00:35 > 0:00:39# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime
0:00:39 > 0:00:45# So welcome to The Slammer where you're gonna serve your time
0:00:45 > 0:00:48# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste
0:00:48 > 0:00:53# Performing to the limit to try and get released
0:00:53 > 0:00:57# So go and fetch the audience, bring them to The Slammer
0:00:57 > 0:01:02# And polish up your act, with a bit of glitz and glamour
0:01:02 > 0:01:06# Your fate is in their hands, so make them cheer and clamour
0:01:06 > 0:01:09# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer
0:01:09 > 0:01:15# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:01:15 > 0:01:20- We need one more act for today's Freedom Show.- I have a list here.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Stand still! Here. Give.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27James Freedman, Sir. The amazing showbiz pickpocket! On your way, lad.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Very good. Although I can't condone it.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33We've also got Pyromantic, the aerial fire act
0:01:33 > 0:01:36- and A Cherry On Top!- GIRLS: Wooo!
0:01:39 > 0:01:42- Oooh, that looks good.- Sir.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49Sir! May I remind you of your position in this prison?
0:01:49 > 0:01:51You mean this one...
0:01:51 > 0:01:54No, Sir. I mean the position of governor.
0:01:54 > 0:01:58- You cannot be seen can-canning with prisoners, Sir.- Quite right, Frank.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Although that does look good.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03DOOR BELL RINGS Gimbert, go and see who it is.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06If it's that old woman selling lucky heather again,
0:02:06 > 0:02:07you can tell her from me,
0:02:07 > 0:02:11- I'll have five bunches. You can never have too much lucky heather!- Quite.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15So, who are we going to have for today's Freedom Show act?
0:02:15 > 0:02:18I can't believe it...
0:02:18 > 0:02:21Marvellous Marvin here, in The Slammer!
0:02:21 > 0:02:22Wait 'til Gov finds out!
0:02:22 > 0:02:24You're a fan, are you?
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Am I? Oh, yeah, I am.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Is it true that anyone who doesn't like your act
0:02:29 > 0:02:34- knows nothing about showbiz? - 100% true as the nose on your face!
0:02:34 > 0:02:37As mustard! Like sunshine!
0:02:37 > 0:02:39- Sunshine.- But what is your act?
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Ah, that would be telling, wouldn't it? Tell you what,
0:02:42 > 0:02:46come along and see the show. Bring your mother! Smashing!
0:02:48 > 0:02:53Frank, there must be someone good enough for today's Freedom Show.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56You...could always let Mr Methane have another go, Sir.
0:02:56 > 0:02:57Just a joke...
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Gentlemen!
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Your troubles are over!
0:03:02 > 0:03:03Who are you?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Marvellous Marvin! You may have heard of me.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09- Yes.- No.- Of course we have! Marvellous Marvin.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12The man with the greatest act the world has ever seen!
0:03:12 > 0:03:13Here, in The Slammer!
0:03:13 > 0:03:15But what brings you here, Marv?
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Let's just say I had a bit of bother
0:03:17 > 0:03:20while performing for the Prime Minister.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Nothing to worry about - he loved it!
0:03:22 > 0:03:26Besides, it seem to have brought me here at precisely the right moment.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29- I believe you're looking for a new act.- Oh, yes, we are!
0:03:29 > 0:03:33Just imagine it - Marvellous Marvin, here in the Freedom Show!
0:03:33 > 0:03:37I can't believe our luck! He's the greatest act the world's ever seen.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Is he really, Sir? What does he do, exactly?
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Well...eh...he...
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Woooo!
0:03:44 > 0:03:45MAKES HORN SOUND
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Eh...tell him, Gimbert!
0:03:47 > 0:03:48I don't know exactly.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52But I've heard it's the greatest act the world's ever seen!
0:03:52 > 0:03:55If you've both heard that he's good, then he must be.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58I am good. In fact, I'm great.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02I'm...marvellous!
0:04:04 > 0:04:08What's more, it's a well known fact that anybody who doesn't like my act
0:04:08 > 0:04:10knows absolutely nothing about showbiz.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14So I expect YOU won't like it. Whereas, the Governor,
0:04:14 > 0:04:19who knows everything there is to know about showbiz, will love it!
0:04:19 > 0:04:23Marv, you're in. Go and get ready for today's Freedom Show.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27- Give him a hand. You can share Peter Nokio's cell.- Ta-ta, fellas.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Oh, what a nice man.
0:04:29 > 0:04:30I don't like him, Sir.
0:04:30 > 0:04:35Doesn't surprise me, Frank. After all, you know nothing about showbiz.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38I on the other hand, can't wait to see
0:04:38 > 0:04:41the greatest act the world has ever seen!
0:04:43 > 0:04:45I wonder what it is.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47CROWD: MARVIN, MARVIN!
0:04:47 > 0:04:49SHUT UP!
0:04:49 > 0:04:51I'm telling you, I don't know what his act is.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54You share a cell, you must have seen him practising?
0:04:54 > 0:04:56No, I can never catch him. See for yourselves!
0:05:05 > 0:05:07See?
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Hello!
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Everybody ready to see...
0:05:11 > 0:05:14ALL: ..the greatest act the world has ever seen?
0:05:16 > 0:05:19- Follow me, then!- Brilliant!
0:05:20 > 0:05:23I haven't been this excited since the bakery's doughnut sale!
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Blimey, you really are excited!
0:05:25 > 0:05:27- Mr Burgess.- Sir. - How do I look?
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- Divine, Sir.- Very well, let's get on with it!
0:05:31 > 0:05:33It's showtime!
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Oh, yes!
0:05:35 > 0:05:39'Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to HMP Slammer,
0:05:39 > 0:05:42'where you decide which prisoner is to be released.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44'Now, please welcome your host,
0:05:44 > 0:05:50'he's the greatest governor the world has ever seen...
0:05:50 > 0:05:53'It's The Governor!'
0:05:53 > 0:05:55APPLAUSE
0:06:07 > 0:06:09WHO'S THE GOVERNOR?
0:06:09 > 0:06:10AUDIENCE: YOU ARE!
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Well, it is The Slammer, it's the Freedom Show.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16It's your chance to decide who goes free
0:06:16 > 0:06:19from all the performing prisoner acts.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21We've got some great acts.
0:06:21 > 0:06:26We've got a sensational dance act called A Cherry On Top!
0:06:26 > 0:06:30A pickpocket act by the name of James Freedman.
0:06:30 > 0:06:34And an act known as the greatest act the world has ever seen,
0:06:34 > 0:06:35Marvellous Marvin!
0:06:37 > 0:06:38Here's an act to get you warmed up.
0:06:38 > 0:06:43They're the hottest act in The Slammer, the hottest act in town.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Pyromantics!
0:06:45 > 0:06:47APPLAUSE
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Give us your cheers, ladies and gentlemen, for Pyromantic!
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Oh, sensational!
0:09:11 > 0:09:14But were they hot stuff, or just a bit of a damp squib?
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Let's find out with Mr Burgess!
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Pyromantic, there. Was it red hot for you, Miss?
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Em...It was amazing.
0:09:23 > 0:09:30Because that lady didn't set fire to the ropes when she did that flip.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34Would have been a disaster if she'd set fire to the ropes, wouldn't it?
0:09:34 > 0:09:36- Yes.- What was the best bit about the whole act?
0:09:36 > 0:09:41Her flying in the air upside down. I thought that was amazing.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42- You don't see that everyday, do you? - No.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Let's get a man's perspective.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47I thought it was magnificent.
0:09:47 > 0:09:51They're going to get my vote. No-one can beat them. So...
0:09:51 > 0:09:53hot stuff. Hot stuff, guys!
0:09:53 > 0:09:56This young man here. What did you think?
0:09:56 > 0:09:58- I think that was a really good act. - Yes?- Yeah.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00- Would you do that?- No!
0:10:00 > 0:10:03In one final word, sum that act up for me, Sir.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06- Outstanding.- Outstanding, Sir!
0:10:09 > 0:10:14Seriously, folks. You're only going to spoil it for yourselves.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Now trust me, I am worth waiting for.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23For the next act, we're going to France. Oui, oui!
0:10:23 > 0:10:26No, I don't want a wee-wee, that's what they say in France!
0:10:26 > 0:10:30Please, show your appreciation for A Cherry On Top!
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Oh, that looks good!
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Gov... No, come here.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18- I'm going in, Frank!- Gov!
0:11:38 > 0:11:41- Frank, I want to go on! - I think you've had enough.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01Ladies and gentlemen, give the ladies a round of applause!
0:13:01 > 0:13:05Give them a big hand there, ladies and gentlemen!
0:13:05 > 0:13:07What do you think of A Cherry On Top?
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Right. A Cherry On Top, there.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Can-can or can't-can't, Miss?
0:13:11 > 0:13:15It was great. The fact it was different made it stand out.
0:13:15 > 0:13:19They've already won in my eyes. Go, girls!
0:13:19 > 0:13:23What about you? Did you enjoy it and how would you describe that act?
0:13:23 > 0:13:25I enjoyed it very well and it was unique.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27It was unique. Don't you think it was good
0:13:27 > 0:13:30when the big fella in the white suit joined in?
0:13:30 > 0:13:34- Yeah, but I think that fella needed a bit more practice.- Oh, cheek!
0:13:34 > 0:13:38- What about you?- They should be proud because the act is so different.
0:13:38 > 0:13:42It impressed me and my friends. I bet the boys loved it.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45BOYS: Oooh!
0:13:45 > 0:13:47All right, keep it down.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50- Don't you think I was born to be a dancer?- Yes.
0:13:50 > 0:13:54- Do you think the girls would sign me up to their troupe?- They should.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58Have they done enough to be released from The Slammer?
0:13:58 > 0:14:00- Yeah. So far they're my favourite. - Yes.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03For the final word, sum that act up for me.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05- Awesome!- Awesome, Sir.
0:14:05 > 0:14:10That's A Cherry On Top. They could be dancing away from The Slammer.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13Now, it's time for the part of The Slammer that we call
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Solitary Confinement!
0:14:17 > 0:14:18Ooh. Oh, yes.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22These are the acts whose show business crimes are so awful,
0:14:22 > 0:14:25we have to keep them away from the rest of the performers.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28We give them a chance to perform. They don't go free,
0:14:28 > 0:14:31but if they do well, they have something nice.
0:14:31 > 0:14:32Today, if they do well,
0:14:32 > 0:14:35we put them in the cell with a nice pair of comfy slippers.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37But if they don't, they go back to their cell
0:14:37 > 0:14:42- for a cruel and unusual punishment. Mr Burgess!- Sir!
0:14:42 > 0:14:44What is today's cruel and unusual punishment?
0:14:44 > 0:14:49Today's, Sir, is being slapped with a kipper until they're sick, Sir.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51- Well, we need a judge, as ever. So, Mr Burgess.- Sir.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54Could you select a judge from the audience?
0:14:54 > 0:14:57You, Madam! Come this way.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Give her a round of applause!
0:15:00 > 0:15:01- What's your name?- Amy.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05Judge Amy. Have you got a thumb? I'd like to see your thumb.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08That's all you need for now, because it's time for today's act from
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Solitary Confinement!
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Hello, everyone.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19ALL: Hello.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23Put your hands up if you'd like to take part in this act.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26You, young man. Come and take a seat on my stool.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Make yourself comfortable on there. Thank you very much.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32Anyone else? That young lady, there.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Come up on stage and make yourself comfortable on my stool.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38As usual, we start with the ladies.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Just stay there.
0:16:16 > 0:16:22OK, we're finished. So, young lady. Come and stand here for me, please.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Young man, come and take your position here.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27And here are your drawings.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37Have you seen them, Amy? Have you had a look at them?
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Turn around there for a moment.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Thumbs up - it's a comfy cell and a slipper.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Thumbs down - it's a load of sick and a kipper!
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Are you ready for this, Amy? Hold that thumb up.
0:16:47 > 0:16:52You've got five seconds to decide - what's it going to be? Here we go.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56It's thumbs up, hooray! Off he goes with a nice pair of slippers.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00Give these youngsters a nice round of applause. Off you go, kids.
0:17:00 > 0:17:05Great stuff and well done to Amy, the judge!
0:17:05 > 0:17:09Still to come we've got the greatest act the world has ever seen.
0:17:09 > 0:17:10He's tremendous.
0:17:10 > 0:17:14But now, we've got an act that's a pickpocket. So he's in The Slammer.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17He's absolutely sensational. Jailers and jailbirds, please welcome
0:17:17 > 0:17:19James Freedman!
0:17:20 > 0:17:22APPLAUSE
0:17:26 > 0:17:29- Hello!- AUDIENCE: Hello. - It's great to be here.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31My name's James and I'm a pickpocket.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35But don't worry, I'm one of the good ones, I give it all back.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38I thought I'd give you a lesson on why you should avoid pickpockets.
0:17:38 > 0:17:43- The young man in a yellow t-shirt. What's your name?- Yacov.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45- And we haven't met before?- No. - Nice to meet you.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49Join me on stage. Give Yacov a big hand.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Thank you for helping me. Stand just there. Perfect.
0:17:52 > 0:17:56We also need a security consultant, who knows about keeping things safe.
0:17:56 > 0:18:03Mr Gimbert, would you help me? Let's hear it for Mr Gimbert!
0:18:03 > 0:18:06It'll be difficult to take something because your pockets are buttoned.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09- Do you carry anything in your trouser pockets?- My keys.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12He's got his keys... They're attached, that's difficult.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15Anything in your trouser pocket on this side?
0:18:15 > 0:18:17I don't know, my mum packs my pockets.
0:18:17 > 0:18:18- Are you wearing a watch?- Yes.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20I could try for things one at a time
0:18:20 > 0:18:23because you're wearing a watch and the keys are attached to a chain.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25- What time is it?- It's, um...
0:18:25 > 0:18:28Well, I've got your watch. It must have just slipped off
0:18:28 > 0:18:31and came into my hand. Thank you very much!
0:18:32 > 0:18:35I could take Mr Gimbert's watch because I could see it.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38That's the way pickpockets on the street work.
0:18:38 > 0:18:39They see it and then take it.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43They've got some cunning ways to find out what's in your pockets.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Mr Gimbert, stand in the middle and face me.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49I'll show you some of their secrets. They wait until you're in a shop
0:18:50 > 0:18:52and take out your wallet. Have you got a wallet?
0:18:52 > 0:18:54- I do. There's no money in it. - Why's that?
0:18:54 > 0:18:58- My uncle looks after all my money. - Your uncle's got all your money!
0:18:58 > 0:19:04When you open your wallet, as you put it away in your inside pocket,
0:19:04 > 0:19:07a lookout with a bright white handkerchief dabs his forehead
0:19:07 > 0:19:10and puts it in the same pocket as a signal.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13So the pickpocket - that's you, Yacov - knows which pocket it's in.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16What do you carry in your outside jacket pocket?
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Oh, these are your handcuffs, that's going to be difficult.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22And on this side? Don't remember?
0:19:22 > 0:19:23This is a card. OK.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27I could undo these pockets but I'd have to distract you in some way.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30Maybe I could distract him while looking at his tie.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Oh, that's a nice tie.
0:19:32 > 0:19:36It's got a bit of a thread there, let me just catch that for you.
0:19:36 > 0:19:40That's it. I think I've got... Oh, hello. Wait a minute.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44I think that's better now.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47While I was distracting you, I could bump into you and undo your pockets.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51Do you remember what you have here? You've got a pen. And on this side?
0:19:51 > 0:19:54- This is a notepad.- A notepad.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56- Down here you had your card?- Yes.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58- And on this side, may I see? - Of course.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01Just a packet of tissues. I won't take those.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04I'm going to try to take things one at a time.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Do you want me to take the wallet from your inside pocket?
0:20:06 > 0:20:10That's difficult. They keys are attached so don't say those.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14Do you want the pen or the notepad? Or something from another pocket?
0:20:14 > 0:20:16- Oh, a pen?- No, I've just been distracting you
0:20:16 > 0:20:20while the world's greatest pickpocket was standing behind you!
0:20:20 > 0:20:24Let's hear it for Yacov! You did very well. You got everything.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28Let's take your hat and we'll give it all back. He's got your tissues,
0:20:28 > 0:20:32from your outside jacket pocket. Your notepad - from the top pocket.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Your wallet- from the inside pocket.
0:20:35 > 0:20:36Your pen - from the other side.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39I don't know how he got your handcuffs! And...
0:20:39 > 0:20:41- your card. But you've still got your watch?- Yes.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44- Your watch reminds you you have to watch out.- Very good.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46No. Watch out means I've got your watch...
0:20:46 > 0:20:49and I'm going to get out - I've got the keys!
0:20:53 > 0:20:55I have a question to ask you.
0:20:55 > 0:20:59- There's no-one standing behind you who could have taken anything?- No.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02Turn round. There's no-one who could've stolen anything?
0:21:02 > 0:21:05- No.- I'm going to take something else from you.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08When you came up here, Mr Gimbert, weren't you wearing a tie?
0:21:08 > 0:21:10- Yes it's.... Oh. - No, he's got your tie over here.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12You've got to watch him.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14I'll button up this pocket just here.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16On the outside.
0:21:16 > 0:21:17I'll button up this one too.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21- All your valuables, Mr Gimbert, are right over there.- OK.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24So it's impossible for me to take something else out of the hat
0:21:24 > 0:21:27- while I'm standing this far apart? - Yes, absolutely.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29- Unless I take something you're wearing?- Yes.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31- Do you wear a belt? - No, I wear braces.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34- And do they look a bit like this? - Oh, dear!
0:21:34 > 0:21:36- LAUGHTER - You hold onto those, I'll take this!
0:21:36 > 0:21:40Let's hear it for my friend, Yacov! You can go back to your seat.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Off you go, back to your cell.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48A big round of applause for James Freedman!
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Will he be a freed man?
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Let's find out. What did you all think?
0:21:52 > 0:21:57Right, James Freedman. Entertaining or just a common criminal, Miss?
0:21:57 > 0:22:01Wonderful. It was outstanding when he took off his shirt. Really funny.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03- Was that the highlight for you?- Yes.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05- Anything he could do to improve the act?- No.
0:22:05 > 0:22:06- No?- It was perfect.
0:22:06 > 0:22:11- Would you tell me about that pickpocket act?- It was really good
0:22:11 > 0:22:14because he did it without him noticing.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18- Yeah.- He distracted him and he just got them when he didn't know.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20And for one final word, Sir.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22- Extreme!- Extreme, Sir!
0:22:22 > 0:22:23There you go.
0:22:23 > 0:22:27Well, I really am excited now, folks because we have in The Slammer,
0:22:27 > 0:22:30quite simply, an act described as...
0:22:30 > 0:22:32the greatest act the world has ever seen!
0:22:32 > 0:22:37So let's start chanting out for Marvin, Marvin!
0:22:37 > 0:22:41- Oh, good luck!- I've got the greatest act the world has ever seen.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43I don't need luck.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Marvin, Marvin!
0:22:47 > 0:22:49The greatest act the world has ever seen!
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Marvellous Marvin!
0:22:51 > 0:22:53APPLAUSE
0:23:37 > 0:23:40'It's rubbish, that.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42'I hate it.
0:23:42 > 0:23:47'Huh! Does this mean I know nothing about showbiz?'
0:23:47 > 0:23:50AUDIENCE: Boo!
0:23:53 > 0:23:55'He's brilliant.'
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Get him off, get him off, get him off!
0:24:03 > 0:24:06I quite agree, get him off!
0:24:06 > 0:24:08What did you think of that? Oh, dear.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Do you agree that act is absolutely criminal?
0:24:10 > 0:24:14- I hated it, man!- Good man, stand up!
0:24:14 > 0:24:17I want you to face that entertainment criminal and tell him.
0:24:17 > 0:24:22I hate you and you should get out of here and back into your cell!
0:24:22 > 0:24:26LAUGHTER Well spoken, well done, Sir.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31- Did you think that was the greatest act the world has ever seen?- No.
0:24:31 > 0:24:36- Thank you. - It was despicable and silly
0:24:36 > 0:24:39and he needs a much, much, much, much, much, much, better act.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41How many muchs in there?
0:24:41 > 0:24:47- One, two, three... Six.- Six muches! Oh, that's a lot of muches.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50One final word, Sir. Can you sum that act up in one word, Sir?
0:24:50 > 0:24:53- Disgusting.- Disgusting!
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Well, my little performing prisoner appreciators,
0:24:56 > 0:24:58it's time for the Clap-o-meter.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01It's time to decide who is going to go free.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04Let's welcome back all the acts we've seen tonight
0:25:04 > 0:25:05on the Freedom Show!
0:25:05 > 0:25:06We have Pyromantic,
0:25:06 > 0:25:09A Cherry On Top,
0:25:09 > 0:25:11James Freedman
0:25:11 > 0:25:14and Marvellous Marvin! Here they are.
0:25:14 > 0:25:15Give them all a round of applause.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18Hello, folks.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21Well, the first act we saw certainly lit up The Slammer.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Will they do enough to go free?
0:25:23 > 0:25:28Let's find out as you show your appreciation for Pyromantic!
0:25:28 > 0:25:32APPLAUSE
0:25:35 > 0:25:39Wow, great score. 86.9! That's good.
0:25:39 > 0:25:44Right, the second act was marvellous, I joined in briefly,
0:25:44 > 0:25:46but don't let that affect your score.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49Please show your applause and appreciation for
0:25:49 > 0:25:51A Cherry On The Top!
0:25:51 > 0:25:53APPLAUSE
0:25:57 > 0:25:58Oh, good.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Oh, ladies, I think you're in second place.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03That means you're staying for supper tonight.
0:26:03 > 0:26:0782.3. Right, the next act picked a pocket or two.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10Ladies and gentlemen, James Freedman!
0:26:10 > 0:26:12APPLAUSE
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Wow! Look at that!
0:26:18 > 0:26:2190.6! That means James Freedman's in the lead!
0:26:21 > 0:26:23One more act to see.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26This final performing prisoner was sold to me
0:26:26 > 0:26:29as the greatest act the world has ever seen.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32He was Marvellous Marvin!
0:26:36 > 0:26:38AUDIENCE: Boo!
0:26:38 > 0:26:4455.2. One of the lowest scores we've ever had on The Slammer.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48Just as well, for one of the lowest points we've ever reached.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50It means though, that the great exciting news
0:26:50 > 0:26:52is that going free with a score of 90.6,
0:26:52 > 0:26:55is the pickpocketing genius of James Freedman!
0:26:55 > 0:26:58Free to go! He's free. He's a free man!
0:27:01 > 0:27:04Disappointment for the others but they were all brilliant acts.
0:27:04 > 0:27:08The good news is it's tea time. Mr Burgess, what's for tea?
0:27:08 > 0:27:11- It's a hot and cold running buffet tonight, Sir.- Really?
0:27:11 > 0:27:15- Yes. Hot sloppy-ploppy porridge or cold sloppy-ploppy porridge.- Go on.
0:27:15 > 0:27:19- Right you are, Sir. This way! - Give them all a big cheer!
0:27:19 > 0:27:23Give them a big round of applause, including Marvellous Marvin!
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Well, jailers and jailbirds, remember...
0:27:25 > 0:27:27if you don't clap, cheer and yell,
0:27:27 > 0:27:30you're back in your cell! Here on The Slammer!
0:27:30 > 0:27:33See you soon, folks! Bye, everybody!
0:27:40 > 0:27:44# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:27:45 > 0:27:48I can't believe I was so stupid.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51The greatest act the world has ever seen...
0:27:51 > 0:27:53I've not been this angry
0:27:53 > 0:27:55- since the bakery cancelled that doughnut sale!- Blimey!
0:27:55 > 0:27:58- You really are angry! - I hate to say I told you so...
0:27:58 > 0:28:00Then don't!
0:28:00 > 0:28:02Not to worry, I've learned me lesson.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05There's no way I'm going to be made to look a fool again.