0:00:02 > 0:00:04"Dear Mum, you won't believe what's been going on this week.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06"There was Globot... Alex Crow..."
0:00:06 > 0:00:09- See if the prediction's correct. - "..Roller Chicks..."
0:00:09 > 0:00:11THEY WHOOP
0:00:11 > 0:00:15What about String Fever? Wonderful performance.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18Who's writing this letter, you or me?
0:00:18 > 0:00:20I need some chicken, I'm hungry.
0:00:20 > 0:00:24"That's not all. We had a new inmate this week, they call the Hamster.
0:00:24 > 0:00:25"And for a good reason."
0:00:25 > 0:00:28Oh, this is tedious. Why don't you send her an e-mail?
0:00:33 > 0:00:37# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime
0:00:37 > 0:00:42# So welcome to The Slammer where you're gonna serve your time
0:00:42 > 0:00:45# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste
0:00:45 > 0:00:50# Performing to the limit to try and get released
0:00:50 > 0:00:55# So go and fetch the audience, bring them to The Slammer
0:00:55 > 0:00:59# And polish up your act, with a bit of glitz and glamour
0:00:59 > 0:01:03# Your fate is in their hands so make them cheer and clamour
0:01:03 > 0:01:07# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer
0:01:07 > 0:01:12# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:01:12 > 0:01:16Not long till today's Freedom Show, so get those rehearsal shoes
0:01:16 > 0:01:18tip-tap-tapping!
0:01:18 > 0:01:22And in other news, officers, we have a brand new inmate arriving today.
0:01:22 > 0:01:27An escapologist who's about to serve 15 years of incarceration.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Oh, ho-ho, incarceration, sir.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31One of my favourite words, sir,
0:01:31 > 0:01:33along with jailed, custody, banged and up.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36His name's Lenny Conner, AKA, The Hamster.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42- Morning.- Don't you knock, Gimbert?
0:01:42 > 0:01:46Sorry, Guv, it's just the van transporting the chipmunk...
0:01:46 > 0:01:48- The Hamster.- Oh, yeah.
0:01:48 > 0:01:49Well, it's arrived...empty!
0:01:51 > 0:01:54He's escaped, even before he's arrived.
0:01:54 > 0:01:55- Shocking, sir.- Ahem.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Aaagh! Lenny Conner.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Oh, please, call me...
0:02:01 > 0:02:02..The Hamster.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Never mind that. Your trouble-causing days are over.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07No, no, I'm a changed man.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10I'm tired of constantly escaping.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12All I want nowadays is a quiet life.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15A nice cosy cell, regular meals.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19The Hamster will be a model prisoner, I promise.
0:02:22 > 0:02:26Hold still, Ted Astaire, you need to look your best
0:02:26 > 0:02:29if we're going to appear on the Freedom Show.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Oh, fat chance of that round here.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33What do you mean by that?
0:02:33 > 0:02:36We keep asking to go on the Freedom Show
0:02:36 > 0:02:39- but the Governor never gives us a chance.- That, Pete, is an outrage.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Yes, an outrage, outrage!
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Not to mention, illegal.
0:02:45 > 0:02:46What do you mean, illegal?
0:02:46 > 0:02:48I told you not to mention illegal.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52Listen, I've been in loads of showbusiness prisons down the years.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56Rule 535, clause three.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59"All prisoners must be given regular opportunities
0:02:59 > 0:03:01"to appear in the Freedom Show."
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Well, we never heard about all that.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07Of course you haven't, because the Guv loves to keep you in the dark.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10No, we must take a stand.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12How about...a strike?
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Oh, yes, strike.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16- Yes, strike.- Strike!
0:03:16 > 0:03:18- Strike, strike, strike.- Strike!
0:03:18 > 0:03:21- Oh, yes, strike.- Strike, strike!
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Strike, strike!
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Ahh... I don't believe it.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27- Complete scandal. - Wh-wh-what's a scandal?
0:03:27 > 0:03:31The amount of rehearsal room the acts for the Freedom Show have got.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33You can barely swing a cat.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34- Miaow!- Oh!
0:03:34 > 0:03:37All right, you can swing a cat.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41These fine entertainers, they can hardly rehearse, it's not fair.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45It's a breach of rule 342, clause four.
0:03:45 > 0:03:46It's bang out of order.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50Yes, join our showbiz comrades-in-arms' strike.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Yes, strike... Agh!
0:03:53 > 0:03:56That is a plain biscuit.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00All wardens are entitled to chocolate macaroons.
0:04:00 > 0:04:05- Rule 223, clause nine.- Strike.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Everybody out!
0:04:08 > 0:04:10ALL: Strike, strike, strike...
0:04:14 > 0:04:18Strike, strike, strike...
0:04:18 > 0:04:19Eyes down for the...
0:04:19 > 0:04:21It's not working.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23It's not working. What are we going to do?
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Permission to scream at them in a loud voice, sir?
0:04:26 > 0:04:29- That usually does the trick. - Go ahead.- Shut up!
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Strike, strike...
0:04:32 > 0:04:34- ALL: Strike, strike, strike... - Wait...
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Keep quiet.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Let's hear what the Governor's got to say.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Yeah, a bit of shush, please.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Yes, jailers and jail birds,
0:04:43 > 0:04:46I like to think of this place, The Slammer, as my home.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49And in a funny sort of way, you are all my family.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52And like any family, sometimes we fall out.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56But today, something far bigger than all of us is under threat.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59And that is the Freedom Show.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Inside, we have an audience waiting.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04An audience of children.
0:05:04 > 0:05:09Sweet, innocent little children, some of whom may be orphans,
0:05:09 > 0:05:12who only want to be thrilled, amused and entertained.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16Plus, they've had a few colas and if we don't start the show soon,
0:05:16 > 0:05:17they could kick off.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21So I appeal to you, from the bottom of my showbiz heart,
0:05:21 > 0:05:25call off this strike now, for my sake, for The Slammer's sake
0:05:25 > 0:05:29and for the sake of the Freedom Show!
0:05:29 > 0:05:31THEY CHEER
0:05:31 > 0:05:33- Are you with me?- Yes!
0:05:33 > 0:05:35- How do I look?- Divine!
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Thank you very much. It's show time!
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Right, who threw that?
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Ladies and gentlemen,
0:05:42 > 0:05:44welcome to HMP Slammer,
0:05:44 > 0:05:48where you decide which prisoner is to be released.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52Now, please welcome your host, he's negotiated a settlement
0:05:52 > 0:05:55and nothing rhymes with settlement.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57It's the Governor!
0:05:57 > 0:06:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:06:13 > 0:06:14Who's the Governor?
0:06:14 > 0:06:16ALL: You are the Governor!
0:06:16 > 0:06:20We're excited in The Slammer, we've got sensational performers.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23We've got a mind reader called Alex Crow. Ooh!
0:06:23 > 0:06:25ALL: Ooh!
0:06:25 > 0:06:29- We've got some great skaters called Roller Chicks.- Ooh!
0:06:29 > 0:06:34And we've got an unusual act - classical music from String Fever.
0:06:34 > 0:06:35Ooh!
0:06:35 > 0:06:38Remember, all you little performing criminal critics
0:06:38 > 0:06:41will decide who goes free from The Slammer
0:06:41 > 0:06:42at the end of the Freedom Show.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Will it be this, the very first act up? Very unusual,
0:06:45 > 0:06:49the mighty, the amazing Globot!
0:06:49 > 0:06:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:06:59 > 0:07:03MUSIC: "Invaders Must Die" by The Prodigy
0:07:35 > 0:07:38CHEERING
0:08:35 > 0:08:38CHEERING
0:09:07 > 0:09:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:09:11 > 0:09:15Give them a big cheer. Globot, jailers and jail birds.
0:09:15 > 0:09:16Give them a big cheer.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:09:20 > 0:09:23What did you think of Globot? Ooh, Mr Burgess!
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Right, Globot or no bot? Sir?
0:09:26 > 0:09:28- I thought it was amazing.- Yeah?
0:09:28 > 0:09:30- Yeah.- Why?
0:09:30 > 0:09:34Because it was funny, futuristic and well performed.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- That's very good, sir. - What did you think?
0:09:37 > 0:09:39It was really good. It was an amazing performance
0:09:39 > 0:09:43by the Globot and the dancers, which together made it really good.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46And all the sparks that were flying everywhere,
0:09:46 > 0:09:49- and the two men that got pushed over!- You liked that?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51- It was good.- The crazy professor.- He added to it.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53You've got a lot to say.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56What are you going to be when you leave school, a TV critic?
0:09:56 > 0:09:59- I'm going to try and be a street dancer.- A dancer?
0:09:59 > 0:10:02- We haven't got a street but we've got a floor. Can you do it here?- OK.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04- What's your name?- Kade.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Go on then, Kade. Here we go. Bit of street dancing from Kade.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Oh, yeah, look at him go. Wow!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16I think we'll have to get him in The Slammer.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23Right, if you could sum that act up for me in one final word, sir.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25- Rubbish!- What?
0:10:25 > 0:10:26It's all a load of rubbish.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28I'll have you, son.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30AUDIENCE: Boo!
0:10:30 > 0:10:33# It's all a load of rubbish
0:10:33 > 0:10:36# All a load of rubbish
0:10:36 > 0:10:37Get him!
0:10:37 > 0:10:41# It's all a load of rubbish
0:10:41 > 0:10:43# It's all a load of rubbish... #
0:10:43 > 0:10:46WARDEN BLOWS WHISTLE
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Rubbish!
0:10:56 > 0:10:58All a load of rubbish.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Boo!
0:11:00 > 0:11:05I'm very sorry about that, jailers and jail birds. I really am.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08On with our Freedom Show. What a performing prisoner we've got now.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11Will you please welcome Alex Crow!
0:11:11 > 0:11:13APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:11:21 > 0:11:23- Hi, guys, you all right?- Yes!
0:11:23 > 0:11:26Mind reading, kind of like Derren Brown. Do you know him?
0:11:26 > 0:11:28- Yes!- It's like that but without the charm.
0:11:28 > 0:11:32So it's mind reading, a bit of weird stuff. I need someone to help me.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Let's have the young lady, just there.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Yes, come up. Give her a round of applause.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39APPLAUSE
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Hi, what's your name?
0:11:41 > 0:11:43- Gabriella.- Gabriella, fantastic.
0:11:43 > 0:11:48What we're going to do first, going to do what's called a prediction.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51I'm going to write something on this piece of paper,
0:11:51 > 0:11:53I don't want anyone to see.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55OK.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59Gabriella, I want you to put it in that box so I can't touch it.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Have a look, make sure there's no other cards in there.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05There's not loads of cards in there, no? Nothing else in there?
0:12:05 > 0:12:10Can you close it up and lock it so I can't get to it? Excellent.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14OK, I've got some cards with animals on them. You'll choose an animal
0:12:14 > 0:12:17for me, Gabriella. Let me show these to everyone.
0:12:17 > 0:12:22We've got cow, lion, llama, hamster,
0:12:22 > 0:12:25camel, loads of different animals. You're going to choose one.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28We'll mix them up. Take those cards for me.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32OK, take half in one hand and half in the other hand.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34OK, give one half to me, that you don't want.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Which do you want to get rid of?
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Excellent, give us a few more.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Just point to the back of the one you want.
0:12:45 > 0:12:46This one on the bottom?
0:12:48 > 0:12:49Hold your hand out for me.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53Just put that on there. Have a look, what's the one you've chosen?
0:12:53 > 0:12:54Show it to everyone. What's it say?
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Rat.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59That's exactly what I wrote on that card and put in there.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02So open up the box and see if the prediction's correct.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Will you do that for me? Open up and have a look...
0:13:05 > 0:13:07- What's the matter?- A rat!
0:13:07 > 0:13:08Let's have a look.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10100% correct. There we are.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14Thank you very much, Gabriella. Give her a round of applause.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:13:20 > 0:13:25Alex Crow and his rat. Give him a round of applause, please.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- APPLAUSE - My word...
0:13:28 > 0:13:31I don't know, we've had a hamster, we've Mr Crow there
0:13:31 > 0:13:34and he's got a rat. It's getting like a zoo in here!
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Sir, how did he do that?
0:13:36 > 0:13:40- Erm...- Yes, that's right, you.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42I thought it was excellent, extraordinary,
0:13:42 > 0:13:46- but it could have had some more tricks in it.- How many tricks?
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Two or three.
0:13:48 > 0:13:52Let's talk to Gabriella because she's here. You went on stage.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54What did you think when you saw Frankie the rat in there?
0:13:54 > 0:13:58I was just frightened cos I didn't know what it was.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00I just looked at the red eyes.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03- And did you think it was a wonderful act?- Yeah.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06And for one final word on that act, miss.
0:14:06 > 0:14:07Odd.
0:14:07 > 0:14:08Odd, sir!
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Mr Burgess, I see you've managed to catch the Hamster!
0:14:11 > 0:14:13CHEERING
0:14:14 > 0:14:18Seeing as my officers can't do the job properly, sir,
0:14:18 > 0:14:21I've put him under the charge of these two audience members.
0:14:21 > 0:14:27Like this pathetic lot can stop me, the Hamster, from escaping!
0:14:27 > 0:14:30- Shut up!- Don't take your eyes off him, ladies.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33You just sit there and watch the show.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35You'll like this next bit,
0:14:35 > 0:14:39it's the act that we call Solitary Confinement.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45Yes, Solitary Confinement, the place in the Slammer
0:14:45 > 0:14:49where we keep those acts whose crimes were so terrible,
0:14:49 > 0:14:51we can't keep them with the other prisoners.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54We give them one chance to perform.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57They don't go free, but if they get the thumbs up from one of you,
0:14:57 > 0:15:00they get a nice treat.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Today's treat is they go in a cell with a telly.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05If they don't do well, it's back to the cell
0:15:05 > 0:15:07for a cruel and unusual punishment.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09- Mr Burgess...- Sir!
0:15:09 > 0:15:12..what is today's cruel and unusual punishment?
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Today, sir...
0:15:15 > 0:15:17it's making jelly with him.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21All right, back in you go.
0:15:21 > 0:15:26Mr Burgess, who's going to be today's judge?
0:15:26 > 0:15:30- This young man here.- Give him a round of applause, ladies and gentlemen.
0:15:32 > 0:15:33Have a nice trip?
0:15:33 > 0:15:35- What's your name?- Louis.
0:15:35 > 0:15:36Louis, have you got a thumb?
0:15:36 > 0:15:39- Yep. - You're going to be a good judge.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42It's time for today's Solitary Confinement act.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45We call them the Porridge Jugglers.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Come on, over here.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16BOOING
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Give them a round of applause.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Take them away.
0:16:42 > 0:16:43Dear, oh, dear.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47Porridge all over the Slammer, what a mess they've made.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50Well, Louis, you've got to decide.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Hold that thumb out.
0:16:52 > 0:16:57Remember, thumb's up and it's a nice cell with a telly,
0:16:57 > 0:17:00thumb's down and it's him with the jelly.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03What's it to be, thumb's up or thumb's down?
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Oh! It's thumb's down!
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Take them away, take all that mess away.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Back in the cell, there they go.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16And give Louis a round of applause as well. Off you go, young man.
0:17:16 > 0:17:17Marvellous.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Urgh, oh, ooh...
0:17:19 > 0:17:22SQUELCHING JELLY
0:17:25 > 0:17:26'Not the spoon!'
0:17:26 > 0:17:29MORE SQUELCHING
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Ooh, that is a cruel and unusual punishment.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34On to our next performing prisoner act.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38Serving six months for skating away from the scene of a crime,
0:17:38 > 0:17:41the Roller Chicks!
0:18:01 > 0:18:05# Baby, look at me
0:18:05 > 0:18:08# And tell me what you see
0:18:08 > 0:18:12# You ain't seen the best of me yet
0:18:12 > 0:18:16# Give me time I'll make you forget the rest
0:18:16 > 0:18:20# I got more in me
0:18:20 > 0:18:23# And you can set it free
0:18:23 > 0:18:27# I can catch the moon in my hand
0:18:27 > 0:18:30# Don't you know who I am?
0:18:30 > 0:18:32# Remember my name Fame!
0:18:32 > 0:18:35# I'm gonna live forever
0:18:36 > 0:18:40# I'm gonna learn how to fly High!
0:18:40 > 0:18:43# I feel it coming together
0:18:43 > 0:18:47# People will see me and cry Fame!
0:18:47 > 0:18:50# I'm gonna make it to Heaven
0:18:50 > 0:18:54# Light up the sky like a flame Fame!
0:18:54 > 0:18:57# I'm gonna live forever
0:18:59 > 0:19:00# Baby, remember my name
0:19:00 > 0:19:03# Remember, remember, remember
0:19:03 > 0:19:06# Remember, remember, remember
0:19:06 > 0:19:08# Remember
0:19:28 > 0:19:31# Remember my name Fame! #
0:19:39 > 0:19:40Fabulous. The Roller Chicks.
0:19:40 > 0:19:45But are they on the roll to freedom? Let's find out with Mr Burgess.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Right, Roller Chicks, there.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51- Sir?- It was very cheeky and was awesome.
0:19:51 > 0:19:52Why was it cheeky, sir?
0:19:52 > 0:19:55- Chicky.- Chicky! I thought you said cheeky!
0:19:55 > 0:19:58- No.- Do you like chicken?- Yes.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00- Right. Curried or spiced.- Both.
0:20:00 > 0:20:04Did you like the Roller Chicks?
0:20:04 > 0:20:07They were different, colourful and fantastic.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09- Do you think you could do that if you trained?- No.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12- Have they done enough to go free? - Maybe.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14One final word, miss?
0:20:14 > 0:20:16- Erm...- COME ON!
0:20:16 > 0:20:20- Effortless.- Effortless, sir. Thank you, miss.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Well, my little performing prisoner appreciators,
0:20:23 > 0:20:25just one more act to see.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Hang on a second, where's the Hamster?!
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Mr Burgess?!
0:20:30 > 0:20:34I don't believe it, you've let him escape again.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37- Burgess! I'm up here!- Right.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41I'll have you for this.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45You get that bum off!
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Now, the next performance...
0:20:48 > 0:20:51SHOUTING
0:20:51 > 0:20:53Mr Burgess, stop him!
0:20:53 > 0:20:57We've got to get on, we've no time to chase hamsters.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00We've got a marvellous performing prisoner act to see.
0:21:00 > 0:21:05They're classical musicians, would you please welcome String Fever!
0:21:28 > 0:21:31MUSIC: "Bolero" by Ravel
0:22:55 > 0:22:57LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Wonderful! String Fever, there.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07But was it classical, or just a bunch of old Bolero?
0:23:07 > 0:23:08Let's find out with Mr Burgess,
0:23:08 > 0:23:12Right. String Fever - four presentable young lads.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Was it Bolero or baloney, miss?
0:23:15 > 0:23:18I thought it was amazing how they did it on one instrument,
0:23:18 > 0:23:20it sounded like a whole orchestra.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22- Do you like classical music? - Sometimes.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Tell me what you thought of the whole act.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27I thought it was extraordinary.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30I liked the way the electric cello
0:23:30 > 0:23:34was a different style to normal cellos.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37- Sir?- It was talented and wicked.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Talented and wicked, sir?
0:23:39 > 0:23:41- Yeah, but...- I'm...I'm going, sir!
0:23:41 > 0:23:44LAUGHTER Sorry, sir!
0:23:44 > 0:23:46I'm terribly sorry, sir.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49What did this young gentleman think of this classical piece?
0:23:49 > 0:23:52I just think it really was string fever.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55Do you think they've done enough to go free?
0:23:55 > 0:23:58Maybe, just about.
0:23:58 > 0:23:59One final word, sir?
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- Suits.- Suits, sir.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05Oh, jailors and jailbirds, four fantastic performing prisoners,
0:24:05 > 0:24:07and a hamster running through all of them.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10Only one act can go free from the Slammer.
0:24:10 > 0:24:14Who is it going to be? Welcome them back, please. Globot!
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Alex Crow!
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Roller Chicks!
0:24:18 > 0:24:20And String Fever!
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Give a big hand, there!
0:24:22 > 0:24:24That Globot is scary!
0:24:24 > 0:24:26My word.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29Only one act can go free, who is it going to be?
0:24:29 > 0:24:33It will be the act that scores highest on the clap-o-meter.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35You clap, we turn it into points.
0:24:35 > 0:24:39Who's it going to be? The first act was spectacular.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42One of the biggest acts I've ever seen.
0:24:42 > 0:24:46Will you please show your appreciation for Globot!
0:24:46 > 0:24:49SCREAMING AND APPLAUSE
0:24:54 > 0:24:55Wow.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57A great score, 90.8.
0:24:57 > 0:24:58Well done, Globot.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Good score to set off with.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Next act up, it was two for the price of one.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05He read minds, he had a cute furry friend,
0:25:05 > 0:25:08it wasn't the Hamster, it was Frankie the rat,
0:25:08 > 0:25:10with Alex Crow!
0:25:10 > 0:25:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Up in the 80s, good score, 83.9.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22We're moving on to the next act.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24They sang and they skated.
0:25:24 > 0:25:25Will they be skating free?
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Jailors and jailbirds, you're appreciation for the Roller Chicks!
0:25:28 > 0:25:31SCREAMING
0:25:36 > 0:25:40Oh, well, I don't know... 82.8. I thought you were marvellous, ladies.
0:25:40 > 0:25:46Only one act can pip Globot, in the lead with 90.8.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Will it be this next group?
0:25:48 > 0:25:51They were classical, will they win your vote? String Fever!
0:25:51 > 0:25:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:57 > 0:25:5878.8.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01String Fever.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04That means going free, with a score of 90.8,
0:26:04 > 0:26:07it is Globot!
0:26:07 > 0:26:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:09 > 0:26:12There we are, off they go.
0:26:12 > 0:26:16Just as well, the electricity cost us a fortune.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19The good news for the rest of you is you're in time for tea.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22I'll ask Mr Burgess, although I think I know the answer,
0:26:22 > 0:26:23what's for tea?
0:26:23 > 0:26:25It's a bargain bucket tonight, sir.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27What's in the bucket?
0:26:27 > 0:26:28Sloppy, floppy porridge, sir.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30I might have know it!
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Take them off to the cells. Give them a round of applause.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37String Fever, the Roller Chicks and Alex Crow.
0:26:37 > 0:26:41Some marvellous performing prisoners here in the Slammer.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Take care, and remember - who's the governor?
0:26:44 > 0:26:46AUDIENCE: You're the governor!
0:26:46 > 0:26:49Bye, ladies and gentlemen! Bye!
0:27:07 > 0:27:12Right. I never thought I'd say this to a prisoner, but you're free to go.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14No, don't please. Don't send me away.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18- Out that door. Get out of it. - Help!
0:27:19 > 0:27:22- Mr Burgess?- Sir! - Have you seen The Hamster?
0:27:22 > 0:27:25Unfortunately the little pipsqueak has escaped again.
0:27:25 > 0:27:29- Honestly, the security in this prison's a joke.- Lax, sir.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31- Knock, knock... - Who's there?
0:27:31 > 0:27:34Oh! Oh! Mr Burgess! Get him off me!
0:27:34 > 0:27:38SHOUTING