0:00:02 > 0:00:06'Dear Mum. Thank you for the letter. It'll look great with the others.
0:00:09 > 0:00:13'This week's Freedom Show was a roller coaster. There were the ups...
0:00:17 > 0:00:18'..and the downs.
0:00:18 > 0:00:23'And that bit where I was nearly sick with the giant fishy man.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25'Let me explain...'
0:00:29 > 0:00:33# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime
0:00:33 > 0:00:38# So welcome to The Slammer where you're gonna serve your time
0:00:38 > 0:00:42# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste
0:00:42 > 0:00:47# Performing to the limit to try and get released
0:00:47 > 0:00:51# So go fetch the audience, bring them to The Slammer
0:00:51 > 0:00:55# And polish up your act, with a bit of glitz and glamour
0:00:55 > 0:01:00# Your fate is in their hands, so make them cheer and clamour
0:01:00 > 0:01:04# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer
0:01:04 > 0:01:08# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:01:16 > 0:01:17Thanks, Frank.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20I really need to focus. This is a tough decision.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Which three acts have you already chosen, sir?
0:01:23 > 0:01:26There's act one - Andrey Averyushkin.
0:01:28 > 0:01:29Act two - Scat Bloke.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33And act three - Justin Monehen.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37But I just can't decide on a final act.
0:01:37 > 0:01:41There's nothing to choose between these six.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43- KNOCK AT DOOR - Yes?
0:01:43 > 0:01:45A new inmate, Uncle.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48'Yes, it's your host with the most -
0:01:48 > 0:01:50it's Max Dazzler!'
0:01:50 > 0:01:53SHOWBIZZY MUSIC, APPLAUSE AND WHISTLING
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Who's laughing boy?
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Quiz king. Ten years for tie-breaking and entering.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04Oh, you're a lovely audience. Yes, it's me - Max Dazzler!
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Waving hello...
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Say hello!
0:02:08 > 0:02:09That's right!
0:02:09 > 0:02:12All right, cut. Stop. Time out.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16Look. I am busy not making up my mind here.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19I've six acts, one place left in the Freedom Show,
0:02:19 > 0:02:22and an ulcer the size of Birkenhead.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25But Governor - picking a winner is my speciality.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Why don't I run you a quiz?
0:02:28 > 0:02:30- I'm listening.- I'm not.- Might work.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33These six lucky finalists will fight it out
0:02:33 > 0:02:36in a brand-new quiz, devised by me,
0:02:36 > 0:02:40to win that exclusive, all expenses-paid final spot
0:02:40 > 0:02:41on the Freedom Show.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45- We haven't got much time. - It'll be quick fire.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49- It'll be fun for all the family... - Oh, I don't know!
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Please, Guv. I love doing quizzes.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54All right. But make it snappy.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Fantastic!
0:02:57 > 0:02:58SHOWBIZZY MUSIC
0:02:58 > 0:03:00We'll be right back!
0:03:01 > 0:03:03When's this all going to start?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05- DRUM ROLL - Oh - at last.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09Six contestants, 22 boxes of fake tan,
0:03:09 > 0:03:11but just one question...
0:03:11 > 0:03:14SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Waving hello...
0:03:16 > 0:03:17ALL: Say hello!
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Welcome to The Big Lucky Millionaire Ball Deal.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26What are our contestants playing for tonight?
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Here's the lovely Kimberley!
0:03:28 > 0:03:29WOLF-WHISTLE
0:03:29 > 0:03:33'Our winner tonight gets the prize of a lifetime -
0:03:33 > 0:03:36'three minutes on the Freedom Show.'
0:03:36 > 0:03:37ALL: Woooo!
0:03:37 > 0:03:42- What IS Gimbert wearing?- A simple one-piece with a sweetheart neckline.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46Round One is a memory test. Fingers on noses!
0:03:47 > 0:03:51Now, memorise as many of these as you can.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53'A cardigan.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55'Two cans.
0:03:55 > 0:03:56'Toucans!
0:03:56 > 0:03:58'Mrs Trentham.
0:03:58 > 0:03:59'Lard.
0:03:59 > 0:04:00'A fake spider.
0:04:00 > 0:04:05'Tinchy Stryder. Some turf. A Pop-Tart. Giblets. Eggs. Legs.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09'Ice cream sundae. Pies, ties, tandoori surprise.'
0:04:09 > 0:04:12- BUZZER - You buzzed in first -
0:04:12 > 0:04:15- what was item nine? - I don't know. There were so many.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19I'm sorry. I'm going to have to poke you!
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Ow... Get off... Lard! Lard!
0:04:22 > 0:04:26Oh... Bad luck. It was a cardboard otter.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28What are the scores?
0:04:28 > 0:04:30'Well, at this early stage
0:04:30 > 0:04:32'it's 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0.'
0:04:32 > 0:04:34There's still plenty of time!
0:04:34 > 0:04:37- Does this seem a bit hard to you? - Bonkers, sir.
0:04:37 > 0:04:42Round Two. We asked 100 people...name something.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Anybody?
0:04:44 > 0:04:45BUZZER Ze M1?
0:04:45 > 0:04:48- Our survey said... - RASPBERRY
0:04:48 > 0:04:52Oh, bad luck. Bring on the fish!
0:04:52 > 0:04:54APPLAUSE
0:04:54 > 0:04:55ALL GROAN
0:04:57 > 0:05:00What? You said it would be a fast quiz.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Only 13 rounds to go.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05The Freedom Show's about to start. Quiz over.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08- Is that your final answer? - Yes. Pete,
0:05:08 > 0:05:12find a way to pick the final act, and fast. Mr Burgess!
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- Can we have a soundproof booth? - BUZZER
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Right, gents. How do I look?
0:05:21 > 0:05:22- D...- D.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24D, sir. Divine, sir.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Is the right answer!
0:05:26 > 0:05:27It's showtime!
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Oh, yes!
0:05:30 > 0:05:33'Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HMP Slammer -
0:05:33 > 0:05:37'where you decide which prisoner is to be released!
0:05:37 > 0:05:39'Now, please welcome your host...
0:05:39 > 0:05:44'He's 52, from Liverpool, and married to lovely wife Mrs Governor.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48His hobbies include relaxing, having a minute, and sitting down.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51DRUM ROLL 'It's...The Governor!'
0:05:51 > 0:05:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:06:06 > 0:06:07Who's The Governor?
0:06:07 > 0:06:10ALL: You're The Governor!
0:06:10 > 0:06:14Hello, jailers and jailbirds. We've got wonderful performers.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18A guy who plays a very unusual instrument - Scat Bloke!
0:06:18 > 0:06:21ALL: Woooo!
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Not that bloke - Scat Bloke. And a very funny guy
0:06:24 > 0:06:27who mixes magic with comedy - Justin Monehen!
0:06:27 > 0:06:30ALL: Woooo!
0:06:30 > 0:06:33And, we've got erm... a surprise act, yes.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37But first we've got a wonderful performing prisoner,
0:06:37 > 0:06:39a drummer and a juggler.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43All the way from Russia, please show your appreciation for
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Andrey Averyushkin!
0:06:48 > 0:06:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:07:01 > 0:07:02BALL PLAYS A NOTE
0:07:04 > 0:07:06BALL PLAYS A DIFFERENT NOTE
0:07:08 > 0:07:11LIVELY MUSIC, BALLS PLAY DIFFERENT NOTES
0:07:59 > 0:08:01CHEERING
0:08:05 > 0:08:07BALLS PLAY DRUMBEATS
0:08:12 > 0:08:14APPLAUSE
0:08:17 > 0:08:18CHEERING
0:08:36 > 0:08:37CHEERING
0:08:45 > 0:08:47CHEERING
0:08:52 > 0:08:54CHEERING AND WHISTLING
0:08:57 > 0:08:59WILD CHEERING
0:09:03 > 0:09:08Give him a big round of applause and a cheer, Andrey Averyushkin!
0:09:10 > 0:09:15Did he hit the right beat with you? Let's find out, Mr Burgess.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Right, then, young sir. Any cop?
0:09:17 > 0:09:19It blew you away.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21- Why, sir?- Cos it was mind-boggling.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24What was mind-boggling about it, sir?
0:09:24 > 0:09:28No-one I know or anyone knows could do that.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31What about this young man here?
0:09:31 > 0:09:35It was remarkable. I think he should work in the circus.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39And for one final word... sum that act up for me, sir.
0:09:39 > 0:09:40Impossible.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Impossible, sir!
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Max, Governor says the quiz is over.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Quizzing no-no, tangerine head!
0:09:47 > 0:09:50And I've got to choose one more act.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53- Can we at least have a spot prize? - No.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56- Can they play along at home? - ALL: No!
0:09:57 > 0:10:02Well, here's another prisoner hoping to be released today.
0:10:02 > 0:10:07Remember - it'll be you lot who decide at the end of the show.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11Well, he's a very unusual act, this. He plays the trombone,
0:10:11 > 0:10:15but he's very funny and very clever. Will he be going free?
0:10:15 > 0:10:19Let's find out - as you show some applause for Scat Bloke!
0:10:19 > 0:10:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:30 > 0:10:33OK, let's get warmed up here. We'll get you to clap.
0:10:33 > 0:10:38Don't clap like your mum and dad. There you go, good, getting funky...
0:10:38 > 0:10:43Right, now, what I'm going to do is sing a very easy little phrase,
0:10:43 > 0:10:46and you guys sing it back for me, OK?
0:10:46 > 0:10:49So I'm going to go # Be-deep dap-doo-bap
0:10:49 > 0:10:50ALL: # Be-deep dap-doo-bap
0:10:50 > 0:10:53- # Doop-dap doo-be - # Doop-dap doo-be
0:10:53 > 0:10:56- # Doop-dap doo-bap - # Doop-dap doo-bap
0:10:56 > 0:10:59- # A doop-dap zoo-bap - # A doop-dap zoo-bap
0:10:59 > 0:11:01- # Doop zoo-be doo-bap - # Doop zoo-be doo-bap
0:11:01 > 0:11:04# Dooby-doop doo-bap... Try some more.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07- # Dabby doo-bee doo-doo - # Dabby doo-bee doo-doo
0:11:07 > 0:11:10- # Labba doo-bee doo-doo - # Labba doo-bee doo-doo
0:11:10 > 0:11:12- # Dibby doo-bee doo-doo - # Dibby doo-bee doo-doo
0:11:12 > 0:11:16- # Labbee doo-bee day-dah - # Labbee doo-bee day-dah
0:11:16 > 0:11:18- # Bip bap boo-dap - # Bip bap boo-dap
0:11:18 > 0:11:20- # Deep bap boo-bap - # Deep bap boo-bap
0:11:20 > 0:11:23- # Deep bap boo-dap - # Deep bap boo-dap
0:11:23 > 0:11:26- # Deep-deep dee-be - # Deep-deep dee-be
0:11:31 > 0:11:34FUNKY JAZZ MUSIC
0:12:04 > 0:12:07- # Bip-bap boo-dah - # Bip-bap boo-dah
0:12:07 > 0:12:09- # Boodla boo-bah zee-bah doo-bah - # Boodla boo-bah zee-bah doo-bah
0:12:09 > 0:12:12- # Bibbly-babbly boo-bap - # Bibbly-babbly boo-bap
0:12:12 > 0:12:13(GROWLS)
0:12:13 > 0:12:15(ALL GROWL)
0:12:15 > 0:12:18# Dee-bah doo-bee oo-bah oo-boo-boo
0:12:18 > 0:12:21# Dee-bee doo-bee doo-bee oo-bee beep boo-wop #
0:12:21 > 0:12:22Thank you very much.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24CHEERING
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Oh, yeah!
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Scat Bloke. What an unusual act!
0:12:32 > 0:12:37But will he be going scat-free? Let's find out with Mr Burgess.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41I don't go in for all that scooby-doo malarkey,
0:12:41 > 0:12:44- but did it float your boat, miss? - Er, yeah.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48- Did you like it? - Yeah, it was kind of fantastic.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- Did you enjoy the community singing? - Yeah.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53- You got into that, did you?- Yeah.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56- Did you like that bloke Scat Bloke? - Yes.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59I loved the sound effects. # Beep-bap boo-dah!
0:12:59 > 0:13:00# A-beep bop a-lula
0:13:00 > 0:13:03- # Dee dee dee-dee! - # A dee-dee dee-dee!
0:13:03 > 0:13:06- # Go-go la-la! - # Go-go la-la!
0:13:06 > 0:13:09- # Chee-tee doo-doo! - # Joo-joo doo-doo
0:13:09 > 0:13:11- # Fo-la da-dah! - # Fo-la deh-dah!
0:13:11 > 0:13:15- # Goo-ga goo-ga - # Goo-ga goo-lah! # Yeah!
0:13:15 > 0:13:17APPLAUSE
0:13:18 > 0:13:20And for one final word...
0:13:20 > 0:13:25sum that act up, miss.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27- Terrific.- Terrific, sir.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30ALL YELL
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Right, my performing prisoner appreciators,
0:13:40 > 0:13:44it's time for the part that we call...Solitary Confinement!
0:13:46 > 0:13:50- ALL: Oooh! - Oh, yes. You might well go "Oooh!"
0:13:50 > 0:13:55because the acts that we keep in solitary confinement,
0:13:55 > 0:13:57their crime was so terrible,
0:13:57 > 0:14:01we have to keep them away from all the other prisoners.
0:14:01 > 0:14:05But we're very fair, and we give them a chance to perform.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Yes, their one chance to have something nice.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Tonight, it's going to be a lovely leg of lamb.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15But if they don't do well, it's back to the cell
0:14:15 > 0:14:17for a cruel and unusual punishment.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Mr Burgess, what is today's?
0:14:20 > 0:14:25It's having their pants full of wasps and having jam flicked at them.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27- Ooh! - ALL: Eurgh!
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Just imagine that.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33We need a judge. Mr Burgess, you're a good judge of character.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37- Who's going to be the judge today? - Right, then. You, young man.
0:14:37 > 0:14:41- Give him a round of applause! - Come on. Up you get...
0:14:41 > 0:14:43There we are.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45- What's your name?- Charlie.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48- Have you got a thumb?- Yes. - Let's see your thumb.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50You need to put it up or put it down
0:14:50 > 0:14:54after you've seen this act, from solitary confinement!
0:15:06 > 0:15:08MAMBO MUSIC
0:15:08 > 0:15:10# Huh!
0:15:12 > 0:15:13# Huh!
0:15:14 > 0:15:16# Huh!
0:15:18 > 0:15:19# Huh!
0:15:33 > 0:15:34# Huh!
0:15:37 > 0:15:38# Huh!
0:15:40 > 0:15:41# Huh!
0:15:43 > 0:15:44# Ah...
0:15:52 > 0:15:54HIGH-PITCHED SINGING
0:15:55 > 0:15:58HIGH-PITCHED SINGING
0:15:58 > 0:15:59HIGH-PITCHED SINGING
0:16:01 > 0:16:03HIGH-PITCHED SINGING
0:16:10 > 0:16:11There we are...
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Give them a round of applause there, there we are...
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Well, Charlie. It's up to you to decide.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23Remember - thumbs up, it's a nice leg of lamb.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Thumbs down, wasps and jam. Hold that thumb out.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30Ready? Five seconds to decide. Their fate is in your thumb.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Oh, it's thumbs down!
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Take 'em back to the cell. Go on.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42Give them a round of applause anyway. Charlie as well.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44APPLAUSE
0:16:44 > 0:16:46MR BURGESS: Get the wasps and jam out...
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Wasps and jam, in their pants.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52Well, we're going to... Oh, hang on a minute.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54BUZZING AND SCREAMING
0:16:56 > 0:16:58LAUGHTER
0:16:59 > 0:17:00That's going to sting...
0:17:00 > 0:17:05Now, jailers and jailbirds, our next performing prisoner.
0:17:05 > 0:17:06Will he go free?
0:17:06 > 0:17:10They're all good this week, but you decide who it's going to be.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Will it be this very unusual performer?
0:17:13 > 0:17:17His act is indescribable - so I'm not even going to describe it.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19It is Justin Monehen!
0:17:21 > 0:17:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:41 > 0:17:45# A little less conversation, a little more action please
0:17:45 > 0:17:49# All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
0:17:49 > 0:17:51# Baby, close your eyes and listen to the music
0:17:51 > 0:17:53# Dig to the summer breeze
0:17:53 > 0:17:55# It's a groovy night and I can show you how to use it
0:17:55 > 0:17:58# Come along with me and put your mind at ease
0:17:58 > 0:18:02# A little less conversation, a little more action please
0:18:02 > 0:18:06# All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
0:18:06 > 0:18:08# A little more bite and a little less bark
0:18:08 > 0:18:10# A little less fight and a little more spark
0:18:10 > 0:18:13# Close your mouth and open up your heart, and baby satisfy me
0:18:13 > 0:18:15- # Satisfy me - # Satisfy me, baby
0:18:15 > 0:18:16# Satisfy me
0:18:23 > 0:18:24ALL: Eurgh!
0:18:29 > 0:18:31LAUGHTER
0:18:39 > 0:18:41LAUGHTER
0:18:45 > 0:18:47LAUGHTER
0:18:54 > 0:18:56# Come on baby, I'm tired of talking
0:18:58 > 0:19:01# Grab your coat and let's start walking
0:19:02 > 0:19:04- # Come on, come on - # Come on, come on
0:19:04 > 0:19:06- # Come on, come on - # Come on, come on
0:19:06 > 0:19:08- # Come on, come on - # Come on, come on
0:19:08 > 0:19:11# Don't procrastinate, don't articulate
0:19:11 > 0:19:15# Girl it's getting late, you just sit and wait around
0:19:15 > 0:19:19# A little less conversation, a little more action please
0:19:19 > 0:19:23# All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
0:19:23 > 0:19:25# A little more bite and a little less bark
0:19:25 > 0:19:27# A little less fight and a little more spark
0:19:27 > 0:19:31# Close your mouth and open up your heart, and baby satisfy me #
0:19:33 > 0:19:35CHEERING
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Justin Monehen. What did you think of that?
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Mr Burgess...
0:19:43 > 0:19:47Justin Monehen. Did his performing hand tickle YOUR funny bone?
0:19:47 > 0:19:51I think his illusions were amazing.
0:19:51 > 0:19:52Why were they amazing?
0:19:52 > 0:19:56I could never do that and I don't think anyone could.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00What shall I do with him? What shall I tell his mother?
0:20:00 > 0:20:04You should let him go, because he's really talented
0:20:04 > 0:20:06and the illusions were great.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10Let me put this to you. You think he should be in here?
0:20:10 > 0:20:11No. He shouldn't.
0:20:11 > 0:20:16- Why?- He was very exciting and I liked it when he turned his head.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19- Shall I let him go?- Let him go.
0:20:19 > 0:20:24It's up to you to clap and cheer. Show me how much you'll clap.
0:20:25 > 0:20:30That's like a sea lion clapping for a fish, that!
0:20:30 > 0:20:33One final word. Sum that act up for me, miss.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35- Wonderific.- Wonderific, sir!
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Question nine. Who should be on the Freedom Show?
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Max, it's not a quiz!
0:20:40 > 0:20:43We just need to get somebody to go on the Freedom Show.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45ALL: Me... Me...
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Well - the next act is... well, it's a surprise act
0:20:48 > 0:20:50cos I'm not quite sure who it is.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52ALL: Me... Me...
0:20:57 > 0:20:59ALL CONTINUE SHOUTING
0:20:59 > 0:21:03No - if you like juggling, if you like circus acts...
0:21:03 > 0:21:04Oh!
0:21:04 > 0:21:08..then you're going to love this act because it's none of them,
0:21:08 > 0:21:11it is the Zaporozhian Cossacks!
0:21:11 > 0:21:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:25 > 0:21:28TRADITIONAL RUSSIAN MUSIC
0:21:57 > 0:21:58CHEERING
0:22:08 > 0:22:10CHEERING
0:22:31 > 0:22:33CHEERING
0:23:03 > 0:23:06CHEERING
0:23:15 > 0:23:16CHEERING
0:23:20 > 0:23:23Zaporozhian Cossacks! Wonderful.
0:23:23 > 0:23:27But at the end will they be RUSSIAN out of here,
0:23:27 > 0:23:30or will they get ZAPPED? Over to you, Mr Burgess.
0:23:30 > 0:23:35- Well, what a smart, presentable, cracking act that was.- Yes.
0:23:35 > 0:23:36What did you like?
0:23:36 > 0:23:38The back flip, it looked hard
0:23:38 > 0:23:42and it looked like they've had a lot of practice.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45I think they have. We've had them banged up for years.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48What did you think of the Cossacks?
0:23:48 > 0:23:52They were really energetic and put in a lot of hard work.
0:23:52 > 0:23:53Ten out of ten.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56- So they're going free?- Yes.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Miss, what did you think?
0:23:58 > 0:24:03I thought it was amazing, and I could never do what they just done.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Also it was very jumpy.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10Very jumpy. Was there a particularly jumpy bit that you liked?
0:24:10 > 0:24:12When they done all the flips,
0:24:12 > 0:24:16and when they were on the floor jumping side to side.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Did you like them?
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Yeah. Cos I've never seen that kind of dance,
0:24:21 > 0:24:26and I really liked it when they did weird things like the back flip.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28- Can you do a back flip?- No.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31- Have you ever had an egg flip?.- No. - They're nice.
0:24:31 > 0:24:32LAUGHTER
0:24:32 > 0:24:37Now, then. Miss, could you sum that act up for me, in one final word?
0:24:37 > 0:24:40- Talented!- They are - talented, sir.
0:24:40 > 0:24:44Well, there are our four performing prisoner acts.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45Give them a big hand!
0:24:45 > 0:24:47CHEERING AND WHOOPING
0:24:47 > 0:24:51Only one act can go free. So let's welcome them back
0:24:51 > 0:24:54for the part of the show we call the Clapometer.
0:24:54 > 0:24:58It's Andrey Averyushkin! Scat Bloke! Justin Monehen!
0:24:58 > 0:25:02And, of course, the fantastic Cossacks!
0:25:02 > 0:25:07Yes! The Zaporozhian Cossacks. Well, what a lot of talent.
0:25:07 > 0:25:11Only one act is going to go free from The Slammer.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15But we decide with this - Gimbert's amazing Clapometer.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19This will turn your applause - your noise, your cheers -
0:25:19 > 0:25:23into points. Quite simply, the highest points goes free.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26Who will it be? Well, he was marvellous -
0:25:26 > 0:25:29let's hear your appreciation for Andrey Averyushkin!
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Come on, Andrey!
0:25:33 > 0:25:34Come on!
0:25:36 > 0:25:40Ooh, a moderate score of 76.7 for Andrey there.
0:25:40 > 0:25:45The next act, very unusual. Let's hear it, please, for Scat Bloke!
0:25:51 > 0:25:55Ooh, it's a 63.9 for Scat Bloke. He'll be staying with us.
0:25:55 > 0:25:59Well, the next act was unusual - he had an arm, he had a leg
0:25:59 > 0:26:03and some of them fell off! Is the score going to fall off,
0:26:03 > 0:26:06or is it going to rise, for Justin Monehen!
0:26:11 > 0:26:12Oh, you liked him...
0:26:12 > 0:26:16You liked him, he goes into the lead with 88,
0:26:16 > 0:26:18that's Justin. Yes!
0:26:18 > 0:26:22Well, just one more act could pip Justin at the post
0:26:22 > 0:26:24to go free from The Slammer.
0:26:24 > 0:26:28They were very athletic, they were marvellous. Did you think so?
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Let's hear it for the Zaporozhian Cossacks!
0:26:37 > 0:26:4282.6. I think that means that going free tonight, with a score of 88,
0:26:42 > 0:26:45it's Justin Monehen! He's free to go!
0:26:45 > 0:26:46WILD CHEERING
0:26:47 > 0:26:49There we are.
0:26:49 > 0:26:53Well, bad luck to the rest of you, you were all marvellous acts,
0:26:53 > 0:26:56but you're just in time for tea.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00- Mr Burgess, what's for tea tonight? - Burger and chips, sir.
0:27:00 > 0:27:01Burger and chips?!
0:27:02 > 0:27:0512 ounces of prime sloppy-ploppy porridge
0:27:05 > 0:27:07sandwiched between a sesame seed bap.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11- Well, at least they get chips. - Chips are off.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14Hold on a minute, sir... The baps are off as well.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18Thank you very much. Give 'em a big round of applause,
0:27:18 > 0:27:22the Cossacks, Scat Bloke, and of course Andrey.
0:27:24 > 0:27:29Jailers and jailbirds, that's it. We'll see you again soon,
0:27:29 > 0:27:34and remember - if you don't make the audience shout, clap and cheer...
0:27:34 > 0:27:38you'll be serving more time here in The Slammer! Bye-bye, everybody!
0:27:38 > 0:27:41Subtitles by David Smith, Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:41 > 0:27:43E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
0:27:46 > 0:27:50# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:27:50 > 0:27:54Right, Max. Time to take a little rest from quizzes for a while.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57- DING! - Is the right answer, Guv!
0:27:57 > 0:28:01- But first I'm ready to take on the cube...- Shut up and get in the cell.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05- Can I phone a friend?- NO!