0:00:02 > 0:00:05Dear Mum, you said families should stick together.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Well, me and Uncle Ted did just that.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10ALL: A-a-agh! CRASH
0:00:10 > 0:00:11We've never been so close.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14He let me help him present the Freedom Show,
0:00:14 > 0:00:15and what a show it was!
0:00:22 > 0:00:25The audience were glued to their seats.
0:00:25 > 0:00:29Actually, they were about the only things that weren't!
0:00:39 > 0:00:43# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime
0:00:43 > 0:00:48# So welcome to The Slammer where you're going to serve your time
0:00:48 > 0:00:52# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste
0:00:52 > 0:00:56# Performing to the limit to try and get released
0:00:56 > 0:01:01# So go fetch the audience, bring them to The Slammer
0:01:01 > 0:01:06# And polish up your act with a bit of glitz and glamour
0:01:06 > 0:01:09# Your fate is in their hands so make them cheer and clamour
0:01:09 > 0:01:14# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer
0:01:14 > 0:01:18# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:01:18 > 0:01:23Would you believe it! We've got to Showtime and nothing's gone wrong.
0:01:23 > 0:01:28- That must be a record. Anyway, how do I look?- BOTH: Divine, sir.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Thank you very much! In that case, it's Show-ooh!
0:01:31 > 0:01:34Blimey! You've broken the Showtime lever!
0:01:34 > 0:01:38I don't know me own strength! Look at that. Solid muscle.
0:01:38 > 0:01:42If you say so. Could we get on with the show now, sir?
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Absolutely not, Mr Burgess!
0:01:45 > 0:01:48We can't start Showtime without me pulling the lever!
0:01:48 > 0:01:53Well, it would be like having a cup of tea without a jam doughnut,
0:01:53 > 0:01:58and choccy biccies and a bucket of trifle! It's unthinkable!
0:01:58 > 0:02:02I'll just nip to my tool cupboard. I've got a tool for every occasion.
0:02:02 > 0:02:06- I'll bet you have(!)- They call me Jeremy "The Spanner" Gimbert!
0:02:06 > 0:02:09That's NOT what they call you.
0:02:10 > 0:02:11Go and get it!
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Plank, sir. Absolute plank.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16A plank's useful!
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Right. Slightly Sticky Glue,
0:02:24 > 0:02:25Pretty Sticky Glue,
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Fairly Sticky Glue,
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Very Sticky Glue,
0:02:29 > 0:02:30er, Really Sticky Glue.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Ooh, That's Sticky! No.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34I Can't Believe It's That Sticky,
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Extremely Sticky Glue...
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Oh...Dangerously Sticky Glue. That sounds perfect.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46Dangerously Sticky Glue! What could possibly go wrong?
0:02:46 > 0:02:50...some sort of weld, sir. I don't know if glue is going to...
0:02:50 > 0:02:54- What's the hold-up? Has something gone wrong?- Like it always does!
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Er, no. Nothing's gone wrong here. Er...Mr Burgess?
0:02:58 > 0:03:02- Tickety-boo, sir!- Coming through, don't panic, nobody move!
0:03:02 > 0:03:05- So nothing's gone wrong, then(!) - One or two minor repairs.
0:03:05 > 0:03:10All the Freedom Show acts are waiting! There's Sascha Williams...
0:03:11 > 0:03:12..Lica Florian...
0:03:14 > 0:03:16..Duelling Banjos...
0:03:17 > 0:03:18..and Supermalcom!
0:03:20 > 0:03:25They've been in this prison for 15 years, they can wait five minutes!
0:03:25 > 0:03:28They won't have to, Uncle! The good news is,
0:03:28 > 0:03:32- I've glued the Showtime lever back on!- ALL: Hooray!
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Ah! The bad news is, I've glued myself to the Showtime lever.
0:03:35 > 0:03:40Useless! But with my muscles, I'll soon have him free! Come here.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44- Urgh! Urgh!- A-agh!- Careful, Guv! You'll pull his arm off!
0:03:44 > 0:03:47- That's a risk I'm prepared to take! - Eh?
0:03:47 > 0:03:48- RRRRRIP! - Ah!
0:03:48 > 0:03:52- Well done, sir! On with the Freedom Show.- Thanks, Uncle!
0:03:52 > 0:03:56- I thought I'd be stuck for years! - You can stop shaking my hand.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00- I can't. I've got some glue on my hand.- Hold on a moment.
0:04:00 > 0:04:01I've got no choice!
0:04:01 > 0:04:06You wouldn't have used the Extremely Sticky Glue on that lever?
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Give me some credit! I used Dangerously Sticky Glue,
0:04:09 > 0:04:14- to be on the safe side! - The safe side?! You WALLY!
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Let's get them apart before that sets completely!
0:04:17 > 0:04:23- How long does that take?- Dangerously Sticky Glue takes about three sec...
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Oh, that's spiffing(!) That's marvellous(!) Look at that!
0:04:26 > 0:04:31- Now we're all stuck to each other! - Great(!) What are we going to do?
0:04:31 > 0:04:32What are we going to do?
0:04:32 > 0:04:35- What are we going to do? - What are we going to...oh!
0:04:35 > 0:04:39Nobody panic. This calls for careful thinking.
0:04:39 > 0:04:43No time for that! There's a show to do, and it's already started!
0:04:43 > 0:04:45I've got it all worked out.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49Mr Burgess, get the audience. Peter, get the acts. Gimbert, get lost!
0:04:49 > 0:04:53I'll get to the stage. After three. One, two, three, GO!
0:04:53 > 0:04:56ALL: A-a-agh! CRASH
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Maybe we should try Plan B!
0:05:00 > 0:05:02DRUM ROLL Ladies and gentlemen!
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Welcome to HMP Slammer,
0:05:04 > 0:05:07where you decide which prisoner is to be released!
0:05:07 > 0:05:10Now, please welcome your host.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14- He's the keeper of the key, disregard the other three.- Four!
0:05:14 > 0:05:16It's The Governor!
0:05:16 > 0:05:19APPLAUSE
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Who's the Governor?
0:05:34 > 0:05:36ALL: You're the Governor!
0:05:36 > 0:05:42- Hello, jailers and jailbirds! As you can see, I've got three...- Four!
0:05:42 > 0:05:45..four people with me! It's Bring a Friend To Work Day,
0:05:45 > 0:05:49and I've brought this lot! Anyway, jailers and jailbirds,
0:05:49 > 0:05:51we've got a marvellous show for you.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55We've got a super act called Malcom, and he's called Supermalcom!
0:05:55 > 0:05:58- Woo-ooh! - ALL: Woo-ooh!
0:05:58 > 0:06:02Then a man of many faces, hoping to go free from the Slammer.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04It's Lica Florian!
0:06:04 > 0:06:06ALL: Woo-ooh!
0:06:06 > 0:06:11Then we've got a musical act. They keep us all singing in the cells.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14- They are the Duelling Banjos! - ALL: Woo-ooh!
0:06:14 > 0:06:18- Something you want to add, Gimbert? - WHISPER
0:06:18 > 0:06:21- You what, lad?- Speak up! - I said I need to go to the toilet!
0:06:21 > 0:06:23THEY LAUGH
0:06:23 > 0:06:25You should've gone before coming onstage!
0:06:25 > 0:06:27I didn't plan to come onstage!
0:06:27 > 0:06:32- We can't ALL go! Can we, Frank? - Certainly not.- Just hold it in.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35But I don't want you lot to hold anything in. Let it all out.
0:06:35 > 0:06:40Cheers and laughter and applause, please, for Sascha Williams!
0:06:40 > 0:06:42APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:06:44 > 0:06:47MUSIC: "Battle Without Honour Or Humanity" by Tomoyasu Hotei
0:07:46 > 0:07:49CHEERING
0:08:23 > 0:08:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:43 > 0:08:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:49 > 0:08:52What did YOU think? Let's find out with...well, with YOU, Mr Burgess!
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Right, off we go, then, sir. That way, sir. Keep moving.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59Move your legs, the body follows. Come on.
0:08:59 > 0:09:03This is my side, sir. I will choose who we pick!
0:09:03 > 0:09:08Right, sir! Let's go there. Right, sir, what did you think?
0:09:08 > 0:09:10I think it was amazing and jaw-dropping,
0:09:10 > 0:09:15and how they could do that act and balancing, I don't know!
0:09:15 > 0:09:19- Very good, young man! I want a go now, Frank.- Your side, sir!- To you!
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Frank, mic me up. I'll ask this young man, here.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24- There you go, sir.- Right, under me chin!
0:09:24 > 0:09:27- One of them, anyway.- You got it? - It's not going to work.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30- You'll have to hold it for me. - I'll hold it for you, sir.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34- OK. What did you think?- I think that was very scary but fan-dabi-dozi!
0:09:34 > 0:09:38Should they be allowed out of the Slammer? Have they done enough?
0:09:38 > 0:09:42Maybe, but if another act comes along and it's really good,
0:09:42 > 0:09:46it could be...they might go out.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49What about somebody else? You want a go now, do you?
0:09:49 > 0:09:52- Let's go over to my side, sir. - Come on, then. Over we go!
0:09:52 > 0:09:56Keep moving, keep moving. Right, this gentleman here. Sir!
0:09:56 > 0:09:58- Breathtaking!- And...- Stunning.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01- Anything else?- No.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- That's all you've got to say. - Yes, that's all I have to say.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07I think Gimbert's going to have a wee in a minute.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Got to get moving, sir. Thank you, sir.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14- Right, up you come, sir. - Come up here, Gimbert.
0:10:17 > 0:10:21Right, let's have a bit of teamwork when we introduce this next act.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24All join in together, yes. You take it away, Mr Burgess.
0:10:24 > 0:10:30Right you are, sir. The, um...the... the second act now has its chance...
0:10:30 > 0:10:33To impress both you and me.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35If they're not quick, I'll wet my pants.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38And the stage will be covered in wee! Hey-hey!
0:10:38 > 0:10:40CHEERING
0:10:40 > 0:10:42- DRUM ROLL - Jailers and jailbirds,
0:10:42 > 0:10:45it's the body-popping experience of Supermalcom!
0:10:45 > 0:10:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:53 > 0:10:56MUSIC: "Bad" by Michael Jackson
0:11:02 > 0:11:04MUSIC CHANGES
0:11:14 > 0:11:16MUSIC SLOWS DOWN
0:11:18 > 0:11:21MUSIC: "Boom Boom Pow" by Black Eyed Peas
0:11:29 > 0:11:32MUSIC: "Lovestoned" by Justin Timberlake
0:12:01 > 0:12:04MUSIC: "Whip My Hair" by Willow Smith
0:12:09 > 0:12:12MUSIC SLOWS AND STOPS
0:12:12 > 0:12:14GASPING
0:12:17 > 0:12:18Achoo-oo!
0:12:22 > 0:12:24MUSIC STARTS
0:12:55 > 0:12:57APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:13:02 > 0:13:05I had me back faced the other way, I couldn't see
0:13:05 > 0:13:06what Supermalcom was like,
0:13:06 > 0:13:08but we'll have to find out again with...
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Oh, you again, Mr Burgess. Is it this way?
0:13:10 > 0:13:12No, it's that way, sir.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Oh, 'eck! I get confused. To you.
0:13:14 > 0:13:19Halt! Right, we'll go to this young lady here. Now then. Supermalcom.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22- Super duper or party pooper? - Super duper!
0:13:22 > 0:13:27It was absolutely stunning and some parts were so hilarious!
0:13:27 > 0:13:29- Will he get your vote today? - Yeah, definitely.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31- Think he's done enough to be released?- Yeah.
0:13:31 > 0:13:36Served his time. Eight years he's been in here. Haven't you, lad?
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Long time. He'd like to go outside.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41- So can he rely on your vote? - Yeah, definitely.- Jolly good.
0:13:41 > 0:13:42Over to your side.
0:13:42 > 0:13:47- All right.- Right, sir, where are we stopping? This gentleman here, sir?
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Let's talk to this gentleman. What did you think?
0:13:50 > 0:13:53I thought that was dance-tastic! Definitely going through,
0:13:53 > 0:13:57- rating that 10 out of 10. - So you like that dancing?- Yep.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59- Can't say better than that, Frank. - No, sir.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02- Shall we skidaddle to my side? - Come on, lads.
0:14:02 > 0:14:07There's a well-worn groove over here now, look at this. All right, stop!
0:14:07 > 0:14:10For a final word, sum that act up, sir!
0:14:10 > 0:14:15- Outstanding.- Outstanding, sir!- I'm here, Frank!- Oh, you're there, sir.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19Right, off you go. Back on the stage, sir. There we go. Up we go, sir.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21I'm getting a bit better at this, now.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29- Round there, Nokio!- Now, this next act, jailers and jailbirds, is...
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Guv, I've had enough. I'm feeling seasick.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34I'm going to make a break for it. Here, mate, cop a hold!
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Pull hard, Mr Burgess. I'm going to get myself free.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39- Are you crazy? You'll have my stitches out!- What? Urgh!
0:14:39 > 0:14:47- A-aagh! A-a-aaow! That REALLY hurt! - Tell me about it!- A-aah!
0:14:48 > 0:14:52Stop whining, Peter! Get a bucket of soapy water, that usually works.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55- Off you go.- All right!- Dear, oh dear. I'm sorry about that.
0:14:55 > 0:14:56And while you're off, we...
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Oh, don't say "we"!
0:14:58 > 0:15:00..WE shall get on with the next act,
0:15:00 > 0:15:05and the next act is the one that we call Solitary Confinement!
0:15:05 > 0:15:08DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:15:08 > 0:15:12Yes, Solitary Confinement, where we keep the acts that are
0:15:12 > 0:15:15so terrible, we can't release them into the community
0:15:15 > 0:15:18or even out into the Slammer. But if they get the thumbs-up,
0:15:18 > 0:15:20we give them a treat in their cell.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23And today, the treat is going to be a nice pair of slippers
0:15:23 > 0:15:26with a lovely brass buckle. But if they get the thumbs-down,
0:15:26 > 0:15:31it's back to their cell, and a CRUELLER than usual punishment.
0:15:31 > 0:15:35- Mr Burgess!- Sir!- What is today's cruel and unusual punishment?
0:15:35 > 0:15:38Today, sir, it's being fed a truckload of chutney
0:15:38 > 0:15:41by a Chuckle Brother till they chuck up, sir!
0:15:41 > 0:15:44That is cruel and unusual, I think you'll agree. All right, then.
0:15:44 > 0:15:49We just need a judge. Who should be the judge, Mr Burgess?
0:15:49 > 0:15:53- That man there! Step up here, sir! - Give him a round of applause!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:15:55 > 0:15:58- What's your name?- Face that way, sir.- What's your name?- George.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02George, you're going to be the judge for today's Solitary Confinement!
0:16:02 > 0:16:03Come on, up we go!
0:16:15 > 0:16:17MUSIC: "The Laughing Policeman"
0:16:18 > 0:16:22# I know a fat old policeman, he's living down our street
0:16:22 > 0:16:25# A nice, happy policeman, he's got massive feet
0:16:25 > 0:16:29# Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haa!
0:16:29 > 0:16:33# Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
0:16:33 > 0:16:38# Whoa-ha-ha-ha-ha-aa! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:16:38 > 0:16:40# Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! #
0:16:40 > 0:16:43THEY ALL LAUGH
0:16:53 > 0:16:55HE FARTS
0:16:55 > 0:16:57THEY ALL LAUGH
0:17:03 > 0:17:05MUSIC INTERRUPTS
0:17:06 > 0:17:10- All right, stop laughing. - All right, it's not that funny.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13- Right, young George. - Yes, the Laughing Policeman.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16You face the front there. Now then, the Laughing Policeman.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19You're the judge, and remember, thumbs up
0:17:19 > 0:17:22and it's a nice pair of slippers with a buckle.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Thumbs down and it's chutney with a chuckle!
0:17:25 > 0:17:29Ready, lad? You've got five seconds. Your time starts now! Up or down?
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Oh! Take him back to the cell!
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Give him a round of applause for trying, anyway.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38And our young judge. Well done, son!
0:17:38 > 0:17:43- APPLAUSE - Off you go. Well done. Well...
0:17:43 > 0:17:48- VOICE LAUGHS - To me, to you! To me, to you!
0:17:48 > 0:17:51- SLURPING That'll be Barry, sir.- Blu-u-urgh!
0:17:51 > 0:17:55- Now, our next act, jailers and jailbirds.- Ho-ho-ho!
0:17:55 > 0:17:59- Our next act is a marvellous act, it's very...- Ha-ha-ha! Ho-ho!
0:17:59 > 0:18:03- Something amusing you, Mr Burgess? - Nokio's tickling me, sir!
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- Oh, I see. Keep scrubbing, Peter! - Yes, go on, lad!
0:18:06 > 0:18:08- Go on!- Nearly...yes!
0:18:08 > 0:18:12Well done, lad! NOW GET OFF THE STAGE!
0:18:12 > 0:18:15Back to normal, Mr Burgess. Give him a round of applause. Wonderful.
0:18:15 > 0:18:20Our next act, well, he's a man of many faces.
0:18:20 > 0:18:24Will you please welcome the skill, the talent and the mystery
0:18:24 > 0:18:26of Lica Florian!
0:18:26 > 0:18:28APPLAUSE
0:19:47 > 0:19:50APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:19:53 > 0:19:55THUNDER CLAP
0:20:15 > 0:20:17APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:20:21 > 0:20:25My word, what about that? Give him a big cheer, jailers and jailbirds!
0:20:25 > 0:20:28- APPLAUSE - Lovely.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Lica Florian! What did you think?
0:20:30 > 0:20:34Let's find out with, er, you, me, and...oh yeah, Mr Burgess!
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Well, Lica Florian there.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41Dark, mysterious...you never know which face you're going to get.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Bit like going home to the wife! What did you think, miss?
0:20:44 > 0:20:47I think it was weird and mysterious, but he needs to
0:20:47 > 0:20:48invest in a new costume!
0:20:48 > 0:20:51Really, miss, that's a very interesting comment.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Now, in your view, would that stop you from letting him
0:20:54 > 0:20:55go free this afternoon?
0:20:55 > 0:21:01- Probably.- Yes. Oh, dear, lost a vote there, then, haven't we, laddie?
0:21:01 > 0:21:05- Gimbert, d'you want to ask a question?- Oh, yeah...I've got it!
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- What did YOU think?- Erm...- You fool! That's your glue brush!
0:21:08 > 0:21:11- What did you think? - It was brilliant.
0:21:11 > 0:21:12Never seen anything like it.
0:21:12 > 0:21:17- Any idea how he did it?- No. - No, a lot of strange faces.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19- I liked the masks. - You liked the masks, yeah.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21And for one final word...
0:21:23 > 0:21:24Sir.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Extraordinary!
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Extra-ao-ordinary, sir!
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Peter, get over here! I think he's going to blow!
0:21:33 > 0:21:36What if I trickle the water slowly over his hands, sir?
0:21:36 > 0:21:40- Oh, don't say the words "trickle water"!- No, it's too late for that.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- Give him everything you've got! - You're the Governor!
0:21:43 > 0:21:46LAUGHTER
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Oh, it worked! Super. Gimbert, what are you waiting for?!
0:21:49 > 0:21:52- I thought you want to go to the toilet!- Not any more.
0:21:52 > 0:21:57Oh, charming(!) Right, oh, well, on to our final performing prisoners.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01Jailers and jailbirds, we have a sensational double-act for you.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03The Duelling Banjos!
0:22:03 > 0:22:05APPLAUSE
0:22:17 > 0:22:19MUSIC: "Duelling Banjos"
0:23:09 > 0:23:10LAUGHTER
0:23:28 > 0:23:31Gimbert! Gimbert! Get off!
0:23:45 > 0:23:48APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:23:48 > 0:23:49The Duelling Banjos!
0:23:52 > 0:23:57So, with a hi-de-hi and a ho-de-ho, to Mr Burgess! What do ya know?
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Right, Duelling Banjos there. Did they duel enough for you, sir?
0:24:00 > 0:24:02They were banjeristic!
0:24:02 > 0:24:04And, did they duel enough for you?
0:24:04 > 0:24:08- Yeah.- Did they give it a good go, backwards and forwards?- Definitely.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11I like to hear Duelling Banjos in a prison, do you?
0:24:11 > 0:24:15- Yes.- Are you often in prison? - No.- Oh, good.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17- Now, d'you think they should go free?- Yes.- Yes.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20- You're a woman of few words, aren't you?- Yes.- Yes.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23- Miss, what did you think? - I thought it was funky
0:24:23 > 0:24:26and I could never do that in a million years!
0:24:26 > 0:24:27In what way funky, miss?
0:24:27 > 0:24:31Their costumes were funky and the music was...funky!
0:24:31 > 0:24:33- Have they got your vote today? - Probably.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36Did you like the Duelling Banjos, and do they deserve to go free?
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Have they paid their debt to society?
0:24:39 > 0:24:40Yes, they're good. I liked them.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42What did you like about them?
0:24:42 > 0:24:44I liked the start when they copied each other.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47- One final word, sum that act up for me, sir!- Awesome.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50- Awesome, sir!- Well, there we are, jailers and jailbirds!
0:24:50 > 0:24:54Four fabulous performing prisoner acts, but only one act can
0:24:54 > 0:24:58go free from the Slammer, their debt to showbiz and society paid.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Who will it be? Let's welcome them back onto the stage.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04Let's hear it for Sascha Williams!
0:25:04 > 0:25:05Supermalcom!
0:25:05 > 0:25:10Lica Florian...and those Duelling Banjos!
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Marvellous, there they all are!
0:25:12 > 0:25:15First up, it's hardest to go first, but they were great.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Will they be going free?
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Please, let's make some noise for Sascha Williams!
0:25:21 > 0:25:23APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:25:27 > 0:25:30There we are, on the good old Clap-o-meter, there.
0:25:30 > 0:25:34Sascha Williams scores 87.3! A very good score.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37Will that be enough to go free from the Slammer?
0:25:37 > 0:25:41Let's find out now, as we see a very unusual act.
0:25:41 > 0:25:47He was talented, he was body-poppin', he was Supermalcom!
0:25:47 > 0:25:49APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:25:53 > 0:25:58Well, they liked Supermalcom! 93 points, into the lead!
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Supermalcom, ye-es!
0:26:00 > 0:26:04Now...a man of many faces! Did you like him?
0:26:04 > 0:26:10Let's see now as you give your appreciation for Lica Florian!
0:26:10 > 0:26:12APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:26:15 > 0:26:17A great act, Lica,
0:26:17 > 0:26:21but it looks like you'll be staying for supper tonight. Just 74 points.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23Well, only one more act can topple
0:26:23 > 0:26:26the leader at the moment, which is Supermalcom!
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Jailers and jailbirds, please, your appreciation for
0:26:29 > 0:26:31the Duelling Banjos!
0:26:33 > 0:26:34APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:26:37 > 0:26:39The Clap-o-meter says 81.9.
0:26:39 > 0:26:44That means the winner, with a great score of 93, and going free,
0:26:44 > 0:26:47it's Supermalcom! Let's hear it for him!
0:26:47 > 0:26:51You're free to go! Free to go, son! Off you go!
0:26:51 > 0:26:54Oh, marvellous. Well, that's great news for Supermalcom,
0:26:54 > 0:26:57but it means, for our runners-up, one good thing at least.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00They get to stay in the Slammer for tea.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02What's for tea tonight, Mr Burgess?
0:27:02 > 0:27:06Well, sir. Chef's just handed me one of these new powdered meals.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09You just add hot water, sir, and you get a delicious, nutritious,
0:27:09 > 0:27:10tasty meal in one go.
0:27:10 > 0:27:14- Nice flavours?- They come in a variety of flavours, sir!- Oh, super.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17- And what's the flavour tonight? - Sloppy, ploppy porridge!
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Oh, I might have known it! Go on, take 'em back to the cells!
0:27:20 > 0:27:24Sloppy, ploppy porridge for all of you! Give 'em a big cheer!
0:27:24 > 0:27:28Sascha Williams, Lica Florian and the Duelling Banjos.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Well, that's it for this week.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33Take care, jailers and jailbirds. Bye-bye, everybody. Bye-bye-e-e!
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:38 > 0:27:40E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
0:27:44 > 0:27:48Well, lads. I think we just about pulled that off!
0:27:48 > 0:27:51- What, the show, sir? - No, the skin on my hands!
0:27:51 > 0:27:55Still, at least now I can have a nice sit down!
0:27:56 > 0:27:58- Ah! Eh...? - SQUIDGE
0:27:58 > 0:28:04- Oh-h-h-h!- Gimbert! I'll glue your head to the bike shed! Come here!
0:28:05 > 0:28:09Rather sticky situation! Ho-ho-ho!