0:00:02 > 0:00:04'Dear Mum, Spectacular costumes in this show.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07'Cowboys, bullfighters, and that was the Governor.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10'The acts were well-dressed too.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17'Some of the Governor's outfits were ridiculous.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20'You'd never catch me wearing anything quite so stupid.
0:00:20 > 0:00:24'It all started when the Governor's showtime suit got a bit dirty.'
0:00:28 > 0:00:33# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime
0:00:33 > 0:00:38# So welcome to The Slammer where you're going to serve your time
0:00:38 > 0:00:42# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste
0:00:42 > 0:00:46# Performing to the limit to try to get released
0:00:46 > 0:00:51# So go and fetch the audience, bring them to The Slammer
0:00:51 > 0:00:56# And polish up your act with a bit of glitz and glamour
0:00:56 > 0:00:59# Your fate is in their hands, so make them cheer and clamour
0:00:59 > 0:01:04# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer
0:01:04 > 0:01:08# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer. #
0:01:10 > 0:01:14One for you and three for me.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16One for you and three, four...
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Do you know, I never was very good at counting!
0:01:19 > 0:01:20KNOCK ON DOOR
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Nearly showtime, sir. Good grief, sir! What are you wearing?
0:01:24 > 0:01:26- What are you not wearing? - How do I look?
0:01:26 > 0:01:28- Indecent, sir.- Jellybean?
0:01:28 > 0:01:32Am I awake? We've got no time for this, sir. Pull your socks up.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34- I already have, Frank.- No, no.
0:01:34 > 0:01:39- Where's your showtime suit, sir? - I had a bit of an accident.
0:01:39 > 0:01:44- Eugh. What sort of accident? - Bit tricky to explain.
0:01:46 > 0:01:47Ay, ay, ay!
0:01:47 > 0:01:49SPANISH MUSIC
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Ole!
0:01:56 > 0:01:58MUSIC GETS FASTER
0:02:00 > 0:02:02Ole!
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Let's just say I fell over. Don't worry.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12I sent Gimbert to get it dry cleaned.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15He should be back any minute now.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Any minute now.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24- Jellybean? - I've had enough of this, sir.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28Dressed or not, you've got to inspect those Freedom Show acts.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31- Put this on. - I can't go out dressed like this.
0:02:31 > 0:02:35- Why not, sir? - I haven't got my slippers on.
0:02:35 > 0:02:36SQUEAKING
0:02:39 > 0:02:43All right, you lot. Look sharp. Haa-ten, haa-ten, huun!
0:02:43 > 0:02:47Freedom Show prisoners, ready for your inspection, sir.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50Very good. Thank you, Mr Burgess. Lovely to see you.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53- You must be Juggling On Tap. - ALL: Yes we are.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Is that the Governor's new uniform?
0:02:55 > 0:02:58It's a little bit informal, isn't it?
0:02:58 > 0:03:03Ah, Theo Dari. Laserman. Looking forward to seeing you in action.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Stop being so fasetious, lad.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09Governor's just finished a...training session. That's it.
0:03:09 > 0:03:15Ah. Igor and Slavi, The German Wheel. Looking magnificent.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19- Training?- Training to be a... boxer! That's it! Boxer.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Steve Best. Another chance for you, lad.
0:03:23 > 0:03:28Very keen on boxing, the Governor. Queensbury rules and all that.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31- Aren't you, sir?- What's that? - Boxing, sir. Love to box, sir?
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Boxes, I love boxes. Big boxes, little boxes.
0:03:34 > 0:03:39Some boxes have cakes in, er, which reminds me... Excuse me a minute.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Gimlet better hurry back with that suit,
0:03:42 > 0:03:46otherwise we are going to be a laughing stock.
0:03:46 > 0:03:47ALARM WAILS
0:03:49 > 0:03:53No, sir! You can't pull that lever until you're properly dressed.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56- Or at least decently covered. - Aw. Where is Gimbert?
0:03:59 > 0:04:00Sorry I'm late.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04- I ran as fast as I could.- Give me the bag. I need to get changed.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06There might be a problem, Uncle.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08I don't want to hear it.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12- Mr Burgess.- Sir!
0:04:12 > 0:04:13Pull that lever.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18- Me, sir?- Just this once.
0:04:18 > 0:04:19Sir!
0:04:21 > 0:04:23It's showtime!
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HMP Slammer,
0:04:28 > 0:04:32where you decide which prisoner is to be released.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Please welcome your host.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38# He's a high falutin' rootin' tootin' son of a gun from Arizona
0:04:38 > 0:04:40# Ragtime cowboy... Ted. #
0:04:41 > 0:04:44It's the Governor!
0:04:44 > 0:04:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:04:59 > 0:05:04- Who's the Governor? - ALL: You're the Governor!
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- AMERICAN ACCENT:- It's mighty fine to see ya!
0:05:07 > 0:05:10As you can see, there's been a slight mix up over my costume.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12We've got marvellous acts.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15We've a mighty fine comedian, Steve Best.
0:05:15 > 0:05:20We've got a very, very unusual act, Igor and Slavi.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:05:22 > 0:05:26And we've got the laser action of Theo Duri!
0:05:26 > 0:05:28AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:05:28 > 0:05:31But right now, my criminal critics,
0:05:31 > 0:05:33let's kick it off with a ho-de-ho.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35- Give me a ho-de-ho. - Ho-de-ho!
0:05:35 > 0:05:38- Give me a hi-de-hi! - Hi-de-hi!
0:05:38 > 0:05:41- Welcome Juggling On Tap! Say yee-ha! - Yee-ha!
0:05:41 > 0:05:43MUSIC AND APPLAUSE
0:05:52 > 0:05:55One, two. One, two, three, four.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07PLAYS FOLK TUNE ON FLUTE
0:06:14 > 0:06:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:06:18 > 0:06:21One, two, three... MUSIC STARTS UP AGAIN
0:06:44 > 0:06:46CHEERING
0:07:17 > 0:07:19CHEERING
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Hi-de-ho! Yeah!
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Wow. Hi-de-hi!
0:07:26 > 0:07:29Let's find out what you thought with Mr Burgess!
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Juggling On Tap, miss.
0:07:31 > 0:07:35I liked the juggling, because it was cool.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39What about keeping that beat and that rhythm going, eh?
0:07:39 > 0:07:43- I wouldn't be able to do it! - No, I don't suppose you could.
0:07:43 > 0:07:48- Tell us about Juggling On Tap.- It was amazing, they should go through.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51- You liked the music...? - Yeah, it was amazing.
0:07:51 > 0:07:56- What about you, sir?- It was very good. The drum and flute were great,
0:07:56 > 0:08:00and the tap dancer-juggler was like a musician.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03And for a final word, sum that act up for me, miss.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05- Amazing.- Amazing!
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Where's me showtime suit?
0:08:08 > 0:08:10The dry cleaner said it wasn't ready!
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Well, get it sorted out, little monkey!
0:08:13 > 0:08:18- There, boy! Get out of it! - GIMBERT YELPS
0:08:18 > 0:08:21JAUNTY MUSIC
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Right now, we've got a very funny inmate indeed,
0:08:30 > 0:08:33he's been in The Slammer for quite a while.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37We're going to give him another chance for freedom -
0:08:37 > 0:08:40please welcome, jailers and jailbirds,
0:08:40 > 0:08:43the comic genius of Steve Simply-the-Best!
0:08:43 > 0:08:45CHEERING
0:08:52 > 0:08:58Thanks very much, nice to be here. I've got a granddad, though.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00I was erm... Strawberry!
0:09:00 > 0:09:04I was named after him. I was called, er...Granddad.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06LAUGHTER
0:09:06 > 0:09:10He's dead now. He's not... He could be - don't matter!
0:09:10 > 0:09:12He's dead. He got killed!
0:09:12 > 0:09:18He was trying to stop a fight. It was a big fight...World War II.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21I tried a lie detector test - and I passed.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23No, I failed - I didn't take it.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25LAUGHTER
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Six of spades, six of spades... Nine of hearts.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31HE GASPS Wow... It's good, isn't it?
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Whoo - hang on...
0:09:36 > 0:09:38LAUGHTER
0:09:38 > 0:09:42OK, this next piece was actually taught to me by my father.
0:09:42 > 0:09:46OK, so... And erm...
0:09:46 > 0:09:50Any resemblance to Elton John is coincidental - and on purpose.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53WHISTLING AND GUITAR MUSIC
0:09:58 > 0:10:00APPLAUSE
0:10:05 > 0:10:07DRAMATIC PIANO MUSIC
0:10:24 > 0:10:27MUSIC CHANGES TO "THE BARE NECESSITIES"
0:10:33 > 0:10:35BACK TO PIANO MUSIC
0:10:39 > 0:10:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:48 > 0:10:51- Ole!- ALL: Ole!
0:10:51 > 0:10:55Yes, and "ole" to you as well, Gimbert, thank you very much.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56Sorry about that.
0:10:56 > 0:11:01I've got another outfit, just to ring the changes, as it were.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03But, Steve Best, very funny man.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05What did you think? Let's ask the man
0:11:05 > 0:11:09who knows all about comedy, he's a laugh a decade, Mr Burgess!
0:11:09 > 0:11:14Right, Steve best. Best, worst or indifferent? Miss?
0:11:14 > 0:11:18It was crazy and completely mad, but hilarious at the same time.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20He reminded me of Harry Hill.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24Yes, the bald head and the glasses, that sort of thing.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27This is his second chance on this show.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Blew it the first time, didn't you? Oi!
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Stop mucking about, Best.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35- Do you like comedy, sir?- Erm, yes. - Who's your favourite comedian?
0:11:35 > 0:11:38- Erm, him.- Him?- Yep.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41- And he made you laugh? - Really made me laugh.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Show me how much.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47LAUGHS
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Do you think we should let him go?
0:11:49 > 0:11:51ALL: YES!
0:11:51 > 0:11:54- Ooh, they all do! - One final word, sir.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57- Perfectamundo. - Perfectamundo, sir.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01Are you trying to show me up? This one's worse than the last!
0:12:01 > 0:12:05- I bought a selection this time. - Oh, good lad.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08I'll get changed after solitary confinement.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Right, prancing prisoner appreciators,
0:12:11 > 0:12:14it's on to the act that we call Solitary Confinement.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16SCREAMING
0:12:16 > 0:12:20These acts are so naughty, we can't let them back out,
0:12:20 > 0:12:23but if they do well, we give them a treat.
0:12:23 > 0:12:28Today's treat, we're going to let them have a stroll in the yard.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30They can have a sniff of the flower.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33If they don't do well, they get a thumbs-down
0:12:33 > 0:12:37and go back into cruel and unusual punishment. Mr Burgess.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41- Sir!- What is today's cruel and unusual punishment?
0:12:41 > 0:12:44Today, sir, it's being locked in a wardrobe
0:12:44 > 0:12:47with Dribbly Derek, the trumping strongman,
0:12:47 > 0:12:51whilst reading the complete works of Shakespeare.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55- We need on adjudicator, one judge. - Mr Burgess with your trained eye...
0:12:55 > 0:13:00- What about you, sir?- Come on, give him a round of applause.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04- Let's find out, young man, what's your name, please?- Oliver.
0:13:04 > 0:13:08Let's go over here because it's time for the act that we call
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Solitary Confinement!
0:13:17 > 0:13:20ROCKABILLY STYLE MUSIC PLAYS
0:13:20 > 0:13:22# This old house is known to children
0:13:22 > 0:13:25# This old house I've known a while
0:13:25 > 0:13:28# This old house is home and comfort
0:13:28 > 0:13:30# This old house has gone awry
0:13:30 > 0:13:33# And this house is full of laughter
0:13:33 > 0:13:35# This old house is full of kids
0:13:35 > 0:13:40# I don't know what's coming next We better get along with this
0:13:40 > 0:13:43# Ain't gonna need this house no longer
0:13:43 > 0:13:45# Ain't gonna need this house no more
0:13:45 > 0:13:48# Ain't got time to fix the shingles
0:13:48 > 0:13:50# Ain't got time to fix the floor
0:13:50 > 0:13:53# Ain't got time to oil the hinges
0:13:53 > 0:13:55# Of that broken window pane
0:13:55 > 0:13:58# Ain't gonna need this house no longer
0:13:58 > 0:14:00# Cos it's...the same. #
0:14:03 > 0:14:05There we are, over there.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Well, there we are, Solitary Confinement.
0:14:08 > 0:14:12I think we put them in the right place to start with. Oliver,
0:14:12 > 0:14:16it's time to decide. Remember, if he gets the thumbs up,
0:14:16 > 0:14:18it's a stroll in the yard. Thumbs down,
0:14:18 > 0:14:21it's trumping with the bard.
0:14:21 > 0:14:22Hold up that thumb.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26You've got five seconds to decide his fate starting from now!
0:14:26 > 0:14:30Oh, straightaway! Straightaway down! Back to the cell.
0:14:30 > 0:14:35There he goes. Oh, dear. Give Oliver a round of applause.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Now, listen.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40King Lear, by William Shakespeare.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43"Gloucester, it always seemed to us..."
0:14:43 > 0:14:44PFFFFRRRRT!
0:14:44 > 0:14:47"..but now, in the division of the kingdom..."
0:14:47 > 0:14:49PFFFFRRRRRT! SQUELCHING
0:14:49 > 0:14:51"..it appears that curiosity..."
0:14:51 > 0:14:53PFFFFRRRRRT!
0:14:53 > 0:14:56- STRAINING - "..make their choice..."
0:14:56 > 0:14:58SQUELCHING
0:14:58 > 0:15:03The Slammer - bringing intellectual culture to a new level.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05We have an act all the way from Europe.
0:15:05 > 0:15:12They're wonderful. They are Igor and Slavi - The German Wheel!
0:15:12 > 0:15:14APPLAUSE
0:15:47 > 0:15:50CHEERING
0:16:28 > 0:16:31APPLAUSE
0:17:09 > 0:17:11CHEERING
0:17:31 > 0:17:34CHEERING
0:17:45 > 0:17:48APPLAUSE
0:17:54 > 0:17:55LAUGHTER
0:17:55 > 0:18:00Thank you very much, yeah. Et tu, Gimbert, et tu.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04On with the show and, well, they were a marvellous act.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Igor and Slavi - The German Wheel. How did they do it?
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Let's find out with Mr Burgess.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13- Sir.- Mind-blowingly fantastic.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15What was mind-blowing about it, sir?
0:18:15 > 0:18:17It was just amazing.
0:18:17 > 0:18:22Amazing. Have they done enough to, er, to get out of this here place?
0:18:22 > 0:18:25They're definitely going to get out.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Are you going to put your house on it?
0:18:27 > 0:18:30- Yes.- Have you got a house?- No.- No?
0:18:30 > 0:18:32What did you think of the wheelie good act?
0:18:32 > 0:18:36It was out of this world and looked very scary.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39- Scary? Where? - When they went round and round.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42- Yeah...- Cos they were so close to the floor.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44What about you, sir?
0:18:44 > 0:18:48My head was spinning like I was actually in the wheel.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Your head was spinning, sir?
0:18:50 > 0:18:53- It was that good.- It WAS that good.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57Would you like to go in a wheel until your head went a bit spinny?
0:18:57 > 0:19:00- Yeah.- Really?- It would be fun.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Health and safety dictates I can't allow that.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06What did you think of that last act that you saw?
0:19:06 > 0:19:10It was amazing the way they spun round. I'd be very dizzy.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- Do you think they should go free? - Yeah.- Yeah?
0:19:13 > 0:19:16In one word, sum that act up for me, miss.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19- Dizzy-tastic.- Dizzy-tastic, sir.
0:19:19 > 0:19:25Listen, Gimbert, before I decide to separate you from your breath,
0:19:25 > 0:19:29- you'd better give me something suitable to wear!- There you go.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32- I've got the very thing, Uncle. - It better had be!
0:19:32 > 0:19:36Jailers and jailbirds, it's on to our final performing prisoner.
0:19:36 > 0:19:41He is Theo Dari, The Laserman. Whoo!
0:19:41 > 0:19:43CHEERING
0:20:03 > 0:20:06AUDIENCE GASPS
0:20:27 > 0:20:29CHEERING
0:20:56 > 0:20:58CHEERING
0:21:29 > 0:21:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:09 > 0:22:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Sir, sir, you've got to come out and finish the show.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40No. I look ridiculous.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42- Oh, please, Uncle. - No. I've had enough.
0:22:42 > 0:22:46- I suppose I could finish the show, sir.- Hang on a minute.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49Just hang on a minute.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51LAUGHTER
0:22:52 > 0:22:56I'll have a word with you later, Gimbert.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Ah, yes. Oh!
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Yes, one's loyal jailers and jailbirds,
0:23:02 > 0:23:07how wonderful to see Theo Dari, Mr Theo Dari, the Laserman,
0:23:07 > 0:23:12but should he be kept here in the tower or receive a royal pardon?
0:23:12 > 0:23:16Let us speak now to Prince Francis Burgess.
0:23:16 > 0:23:20Right. Theo Dari. Lasery?
0:23:20 > 0:23:24It was brilliant. He made it look really effective.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27In what way was it effective, miss?
0:23:27 > 0:23:31- It looked really cool.- What did you think about the Laserman?
0:23:31 > 0:23:36- Speechless.- Yes? Well, there's no point talking to you then.- No!
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Miss, what about you?
0:23:38 > 0:23:41It was incredible and phenomenal. I loved it.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44- Did you enjoy the Laserman, Theo Dari?- Yeah!
0:23:44 > 0:23:48Tell me about his act, so I can tell the court.
0:23:48 > 0:23:52Awesome. It was out of this world. I couldn't believe it.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56- Sum that act up for me in one final word, miss.- Confusing.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Confusing, sir.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Well, jailers and jailbirds,
0:24:01 > 0:24:05I'm dressed in an alternative costume till my real one comes back
0:24:05 > 0:24:06and I shall press on.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10It's time now to decide who goes free from the slammer.
0:24:10 > 0:24:14It's the Freedom Show, so welcome them all back - Juggling On Tap,
0:24:14 > 0:24:18Steve Best, Igor and Slavi,
0:24:18 > 0:24:22and Theo Dari, the Laserman.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Oh, yes.
0:24:24 > 0:24:28They were all sensational. Sadly, only one of them gets to go free.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31The others stay and if they're lucky,
0:24:31 > 0:24:33they'll have tea at the Slammer.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36You know what tea is at the Slammer, don't you?
0:24:36 > 0:24:40Anyway, let's find out who's getting the highest score on this,
0:24:40 > 0:24:43the brilliant Gimbert's Clap-o-meter.
0:24:43 > 0:24:47There it is. You clap and cheer, they're turned into points.
0:24:47 > 0:24:51Whoever gets the highest score goes free. It is as simple as that.
0:24:51 > 0:24:56So, will you please welcome, first up, it was Juggling On Tap!
0:24:56 > 0:24:59CHEERING
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Good healthy score there. 74.3 for Juggling On Tap.
0:25:06 > 0:25:10Thank you very much indeed. This next man,
0:25:10 > 0:25:14we've had him before in the Slammer, he's been here for a while.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18I'm hoping he'll go free, as I've heard all his jokes before.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21They made you laugh. He's wonderful, will he be free?
0:25:21 > 0:25:25Please, your appreciation for Steve. Is he the best?
0:25:25 > 0:25:27CHEERING
0:25:31 > 0:25:36Oh, he goes into the lead with three fat ladies, 88.8. Look at that!
0:25:36 > 0:25:40Marvellous! A comedy T-shirt as well, Steve.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Good effort. Steve's in the lead.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45Will he escape the porridge?
0:25:45 > 0:25:49Let's find out as we go on to our third performing prisoner.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53It is the wonderful German Wheel, the spinning wheel,
0:25:53 > 0:25:56that's what it's called, Igor and Slavi!
0:25:56 > 0:25:59AUDIENCE SCREAMS
0:25:59 > 0:26:05Wow! Look at that! They scorch into the lead! They spin into the lead!
0:26:05 > 0:26:1091 points - they're in the lead at the moment. In pole position there.
0:26:10 > 0:26:14Well, my little felon fans, only one performing prisoner to see.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Could he pip them at the post?
0:26:17 > 0:26:21You loved him. He was light-tastic. He was the Laserman.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23He was Theo Dari!
0:26:23 > 0:26:25AUDIENCE SCREAMS
0:26:29 > 0:26:35Oh, yes! I think he's done it. Let's have a look. 95.5. He goes free!
0:26:35 > 0:26:38You're the winner! You can go!
0:26:38 > 0:26:41Give him a big hand. Free at last. Theo Dari!
0:26:41 > 0:26:46Oh, light-tastic. Theo Dari is going free, jailers and jailbirds.
0:26:46 > 0:26:50But that means the rest of you are in time for tea.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52- Mr Burgess.- Ha!- What is for tea?
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Tonight, sir, it's the Easter Special.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58Ooh, the Easter Special! What's that?
0:26:58 > 0:27:00It's a beautiful Faberge Egg,
0:27:00 > 0:27:04encrusted in chocolate with a lovely filling, sir.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07- What's the lovely filling? - Sloppy, ploppy porridge.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09- Can they eat the egg?- No.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13- Right, you lot.- Oh, Mr Burgess, take them all back to the cells.
0:27:13 > 0:27:17Give them a big cheer. Sloppy, ploppy porridge for them.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Well, you take care of yourselves
0:27:20 > 0:27:25and I'll give you a royal wave and say, from everybody here, cheerio!
0:27:25 > 0:27:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:34 > 0:27:39# It's the only way to get out with The Slammer! #
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Another great Freedom Show all wrapped up.
0:27:42 > 0:27:46It's time to feed the corgis. Will one stop doing that?
0:27:46 > 0:27:51- You'll give one a heart attack. - It's from the dry cleaners.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Dry cleaners? It says...
0:27:53 > 0:27:58"We are sending your showtime suit back. Please find it enclosed."
0:27:58 > 0:28:01Enclosed?
0:28:01 > 0:28:02They've boil-washed it.
0:28:02 > 0:28:07- Do you know what I like about you, Gimbert?- What's that?- Nothing.