0:00:02 > 0:00:05"Dear Mother, apologies for not writing more often, but the truth is,
0:00:05 > 0:00:08"I don't really like you." Too honest.
0:00:08 > 0:00:14"Dear Mummikins, what a splendid Freedom Show we had this week.
0:00:14 > 0:00:18"It's always a pleasure to see the three Rs, revelation...
0:00:19 > 0:00:22"..revulsion...
0:00:22 > 0:00:25- "..and random."- Thank you.
0:00:25 > 0:00:29"But not all went according to plan.
0:00:29 > 0:00:33"Let me explain, and stop talking to myself."
0:00:37 > 0:00:42# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime
0:00:42 > 0:00:47# So welcome to The Slammer where you're going to serve your time
0:00:47 > 0:00:51# With every type of minstrel entertainer and artiste
0:00:51 > 0:00:55# Performing to the limit to try and get released
0:00:55 > 0:01:00# So go fetch the audience Bring them to The Slammer
0:01:00 > 0:01:05# And polish up your act with a bit of glitz and glamour
0:01:05 > 0:01:09# Your fate is in their hands so make them cheer and clamour
0:01:09 > 0:01:13# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer
0:01:13 > 0:01:16# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:01:19 > 0:01:21This is a-Clive.
0:01:21 > 0:01:26He is a-twelve a-years old, or 3,006 in a-rabbit years!
0:01:28 > 0:01:34Poor Clive was treated very badly by his owner, a travelling magician.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38The magician forced Clive to spend a-many long hours inside
0:01:38 > 0:01:43a cold, dark top hat, and he was subjected to the terrible stress
0:01:43 > 0:01:46of being sawn in 'alf and put back together again!
0:01:46 > 0:01:50Stop, stop! How can anyone do such a terrible thing?
0:01:52 > 0:01:54HE BLOWS HIS NOSE LOUDLY
0:01:54 > 0:01:58- I often think about sawing Gimbert in half, sir.- Frank, sshh!
0:01:58 > 0:02:01But Clive was a-lucky.
0:02:01 > 0:02:06He was rescued and given new life at my Academy, Bunny Pastures.
0:02:06 > 0:02:11Yes, at Bunny Pastures, I give loving home to magic rabbits.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14A-lush a-green grass, heated hutches,
0:02:14 > 0:02:17and all the tasty, nibbly treats they can eat!
0:02:17 > 0:02:22So, please, Governor, all you have to do is give a-generously
0:02:22 > 0:02:24to help magic rabbits, like Clive.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Isn't that right, Clive?
0:02:30 > 0:02:37Because, without your donations, all the animals everywhere will die! OK?
0:02:37 > 0:02:40That's decided. I'm going to do everything I can
0:02:40 > 0:02:41to help Bunny Pastures.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44Oh, thank you, Governor!
0:02:45 > 0:02:49In fact, I'm doing to put on a charity Freedom Show!
0:02:49 > 0:02:53We're going to have some amazing acts. Look at them here.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56We've got Christian Lee!
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Two Tricky!
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Michael Raivard!
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Halo!
0:03:03 > 0:03:06And we'll spend the day fundraising!
0:03:06 > 0:03:12- Gimbert, it's time to dig deep. - Yes, Uncle, right away. Where?
0:03:12 > 0:03:16Rotate 180 degrees, lad. Assume the position.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19CRASH!
0:03:20 > 0:03:23It's excellent, what you're doing for us, Governor,
0:03:23 > 0:03:26and Clive is grateful, too.
0:03:28 > 0:03:33Not at all, everybody's mucking in. Massive Marjorie is attempting
0:03:33 > 0:03:37to break the world record for the highest burp.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40- BURP! - Oh, cheese and onion!
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Sorry about that. Brilliant.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46O-Bongo is charging to let people honk his hooter.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48HIS NOSE HONKS
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Ha, ha, well done!
0:03:49 > 0:03:53And Frank here is being nice to prisoners for a day.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Well, for a small donation, sir,
0:03:55 > 0:04:00I'm inclined to spread a little happiness. Prisoner O-Bongo!
0:04:02 > 0:04:03Oh, all right.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Now back to your cell!
0:04:05 > 0:04:08- In a nice sort of way, obviously. Moving on, sir?- Yes.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11And finally, Peter Nokio, who's doing so well,
0:04:11 > 0:04:15he's raised twice as much money as Frank!
0:04:15 > 0:04:19- Roll up, roll up, roll up! Give us your money!- All right, Nokio.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22What's all this nonsense?
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Well, Peter here is doing a sponsored silence!
0:04:25 > 0:04:29Yeah, he's not allowed to say a word. Ha, ha, ha!
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Silence? Silence?! You call that silence?!
0:04:33 > 0:04:37Shame on you, Mr B, trying to get Pete to fail his challenge
0:04:37 > 0:04:40by talking like that! Naughty, naughty!
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- Yeah, you miserable old bum face! - Bum face?
0:04:43 > 0:04:47You can't speak to me like that! I'll have you on a charge!
0:04:47 > 0:04:51- Frank, Frank! Your pledge! - Oh, well, that's that, sir.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54Oh, dear, Mr Burgess. Looks like you've blown it.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57So have you, lad. So have you!
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Ugh! Puppet geek. Tsk!
0:05:00 > 0:05:04Unbelievable. All that work, and we haven't raised a penny.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08I've raised a penny, Uncle! I sold a tenner on eBay!
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Well, sir, we'll have to get the audience to donate.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14That's a very good idea, Mr Burgess!
0:05:14 > 0:05:18And we can present Mr Muscovado with the money at the end!
0:05:18 > 0:05:23Perhaps those magical bunnies will be able to live happy ever after!
0:05:24 > 0:05:30- How do I look?- Emotional, sir. - Thank you very much. It's Showtime!
0:05:33 > 0:05:37VOICEOVER: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HMP Slammer,
0:05:37 > 0:05:40where you decide which prisoner is to be released!
0:05:40 > 0:05:44Please welcome your host. He's doing it for a worthy cause,
0:05:44 > 0:05:49so please be generous with your applause. It's the Governor!
0:05:49 > 0:05:51APPLAUSE
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Who's the Governor?
0:06:06 > 0:06:09ALL: You're the Governor!
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Oh, thank you, jailers and jailbirds. What a lovely
0:06:12 > 0:06:16crowd we have for a very special Slammer Freedom Show.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18It's a charity Freedom Show.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21We're going to help save the magical bunnies,
0:06:21 > 0:06:24jailers and jailbirds. Ah, yes.
0:06:24 > 0:06:28And Mr Burgess and Gimbers will be asking you to contribute
0:06:28 > 0:06:33during the show, and what a show we have for you. Sensational acts.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36We've got footballing skills from two lads.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40- They're brilliant, they're called Two Tricky!- AUDIENCE: Wooo!
0:06:40 > 0:06:44- A mysterious act called Michael Raivard!- AUDIENCE: Wooo!
0:06:44 > 0:06:48And a wonderful, hula-hooping, colourful act called Halo!
0:06:48 > 0:06:50AUDIENCE: Wooo!
0:06:50 > 0:06:53They've all been in The Slammer for years, and are hoping
0:06:53 > 0:06:57to go free. This first act has already been in the slammer.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Is he going to get out a second time?
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Let's find out, as we welcome Christian Lee!
0:07:03 > 0:07:06APPLAUSE
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Hello, how are you all?
0:07:11 > 0:07:12AUDIENCE: Fine!
0:07:12 > 0:07:17I'm Christian Lee, master magician, and I'm going to need some help.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Young man over there, can you catch that?
0:07:20 > 0:07:24Come and join me up on stage, give him a round of applause!
0:07:24 > 0:07:25APPLAUSE
0:07:25 > 0:07:28- What's your name?- Eamon. - Let's lose the rope.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32OK, Eamon, I want you to pick any card you like.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35OK, now show it to everyone while I turn around.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Have you shown it to everyone?
0:07:37 > 0:07:41Eamon, hide it, I'm coming back. Put it back in the pack.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45OK, this is going to be an impossible card trick.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47What we need is one of these.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49We're going to put the cards in here,
0:07:49 > 0:07:54you're going to look after those and stand in the corner over there.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57I'm going to use one of these to help me find the card,
0:07:57 > 0:08:00and I need a strong warden.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02That one, there. Give him a clap.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04SINGLE CLAP
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Perfect. Now, steady, brace yourself.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10I'm going to climb up here, and then find Eamon's card.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12But that would be too easy.
0:08:12 > 0:08:16What I need is to make it a little trickier, maybe use a sword!
0:08:16 > 0:08:20Here it is. OK, then. The conditions are set.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Ha!
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Ha!
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Ha! Aaargh!
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Ha, ha!
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Yes, I'm up!
0:08:36 > 0:08:40Now, I need the sword of pointyness!
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Perfect!
0:08:45 > 0:08:49Warden, please go and get the cards from Eamon.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55On the count of three, you will throw the cards up in the air.
0:08:55 > 0:09:00I will stab, and hopefully get the correct card.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Three, two, one,
0:09:03 > 0:09:06throw the caaaaaards!
0:09:07 > 0:09:11AUDIENCE CHEER
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Is that your card?
0:09:13 > 0:09:18- Yes. - APPLAUSE
0:09:22 > 0:09:27Oh, well, that was astounding. How on earth did he do that?
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Let's see what's on the cards for him with Mr Burgess.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34Well, the penal system refers to them as repeat offenders.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38I just call them scum. What do you think, Miss?
0:09:38 > 0:09:42I thought it was funny when he was trying to get onto the
0:09:42 > 0:09:46unicycle, and it was incredible how he got that card right.
0:09:46 > 0:09:47- It is magic?- Yep.
0:09:47 > 0:09:52What is magic, Miss, is looking after soft, little, fluffy bunnies.
0:09:52 > 0:09:57Would you like to donate to look after soft, little, fluffy bunnies?
0:09:58 > 0:10:02- What did you think of Christian Lee? - I think it was
0:10:02 > 0:10:07- a sharp and high-paced act.- And a mark out of ten for Christian Lee?
0:10:07 > 0:10:11- About five!- Very hard audience there, Christian!
0:10:11 > 0:10:13- Miss?- I thought he needed a little bit more.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17- A little bit more oooh, or a little bit more aaah?- Ah!
0:10:17 > 0:10:21- A little bit more aaah, as in, aaah, fluffy bunny?- Yeah.
0:10:21 > 0:10:26Would you like to give to the charity? Lovely, thank you.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28- Well, an unusual act... - VOICES FADE
0:10:28 > 0:10:31DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:10:35 > 0:10:38PHONE RINGS
0:10:39 > 0:10:45- Now for one final word. Sum that act up, sir.- Scary!- Scary, sir!
0:10:47 > 0:10:51Here's the best bit. They want to give us all their money, blud!
0:10:53 > 0:10:57I know, I mean, a home for magic rabbits? What a load of twonks!
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Beefy, I'll call you back.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Would you please show your wild appreciation,
0:11:08 > 0:11:12on this special charity show, for Two Tricky?
0:11:12 > 0:11:16APPLAUSE
0:11:21 > 0:11:26SOMBRE CHORAL MUSIC
0:11:30 > 0:11:35MUSIC: "American Boy" by Estelle and Kanye West
0:11:47 > 0:11:51MUSIC: "Pump It" by Black Eyed Peas
0:12:06 > 0:12:09SNARE DRUM MUSIC
0:12:15 > 0:12:20MUSIC: "Pump It Up" by Joe Budden
0:12:30 > 0:12:36MUSIC: "Stronger" by Kanye West
0:13:15 > 0:13:20APPLAUSE
0:13:21 > 0:13:26Go on, take them off the stage, go on! Two Tricky!
0:13:26 > 0:13:30Will they be cheering a great win, or will they be shouting foul?
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Let's find out with the referee, Mr Burgess!
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Two Tricky. Did they take their eye off the ball, sir?
0:13:36 > 0:13:43- I thought it was amazing.- Why? - The tricks they did were good,
0:13:43 > 0:13:47- and no-one can perform them in front of other people.- Well, they did.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51- Did you like their skills?- Yeah. - What did you write?
0:13:51 > 0:13:54- Breathtaking. - Oooh, breathtaking, yeah!
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Right, sum that act up for me, sir.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01- Fandaptiddlytaptastic! - Fandapdiddlydaptaptastic, sir!
0:14:01 > 0:14:04MUFFLED GROANING
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Let him go, you beast! Untie him!
0:14:10 > 0:14:13I don't think so, Peter. By the time you escape,
0:14:13 > 0:14:17I'll be long gone, along with all The Slammer's money!
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Ha! I bet that makes you hopping mad!
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Urgh, dirty magic meddler!
0:14:25 > 0:14:27MUFFLED SHOUTING
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Now, my little capering, criminal critiques,
0:14:30 > 0:14:34it's time for the act we call Solitary Confinement!
0:14:34 > 0:14:36EERIE MUSIC
0:14:36 > 0:14:40These acts are so naughty, we can't let them out,
0:14:40 > 0:14:45but if they do well, we give them a little treat, and today's treat is
0:14:45 > 0:14:49they'll be taken to a nice cell and given a complimentary
0:14:49 > 0:14:52hot drink, but if they don't do well,
0:14:52 > 0:14:54it's back to solitary confinement
0:14:54 > 0:14:59- for a cruel and unusual punishment. Mr Burgess!- Sir!- What is today's
0:14:59 > 0:15:02- cruel and unusual punishment? - Today, sir, it's to be whipped by
0:15:02 > 0:15:05a wet whippet until they whelp, sir!
0:15:05 > 0:15:09Nobody wants that. Well, who's going to be our judge?
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Mr Burgess, can you see a likely candidate?
0:15:12 > 0:15:16- How about that young lady there, sir? - Yes, come on, madam.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20- Give her a round of applause. - APPLAUSE
0:15:20 > 0:15:23- What's your name?- Fiona.- Fiona.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26It is solitary confinement. What an act he is.
0:15:26 > 0:15:31He's called Hugo Tenderhorn, and he's the world's greatest liar!
0:15:31 > 0:15:32Waaay!
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
0:15:39 > 0:15:44My name is Hugo Tenderhorn and I am the world's greatest liar.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47AUDIENCE WHOOP
0:15:47 > 0:15:51I was raised by pygmy monks in Hartlepool, and I'm very proud
0:15:51 > 0:15:56of the fact that I am the identical twin brother of Justin Bieber.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Now, the way it works is that you ask me a question,
0:16:02 > 0:16:06and I give you the greatest lie you have ever heard.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09But it's going to take a few seconds for you
0:16:09 > 0:16:12to decide what to ask me, so, in the meantime,
0:16:12 > 0:16:15I shall give you my award-winning dance from
0:16:15 > 0:16:19the 2010 Online Robotic Dance Championships,
0:16:19 > 0:16:24where I competed against over 14 million competitors.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Hit it!
0:16:27 > 0:16:32JOLLY MUSIC
0:16:33 > 0:16:37- Right. First question, please! - Why is the sky blue?
0:16:37 > 0:16:40Why is the sky blue? That's an excellent question.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Why is the sky blue?
0:16:42 > 0:16:46The answer is because Darren Ward, who painted it,
0:16:46 > 0:16:48couldn't spell yellow!
0:16:48 > 0:16:53JAZZ MUSIC
0:16:53 > 0:16:57- Why are clouds white? - Why are clouds white?
0:16:57 > 0:17:00That's a very good question, young lady,
0:17:00 > 0:17:05and the answer is...because they are a mixture of milk...
0:17:07 > 0:17:09..and piano keys!
0:17:09 > 0:17:14JAZZ MUSIC
0:17:14 > 0:17:17- Thank you. - What is my mum's middle name?
0:17:17 > 0:17:21What is this young lady's mother's middle name? The answer is...
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Derek von Strudelhumen!
0:17:24 > 0:17:26JAZZ MUSIC
0:17:30 > 0:17:34- What shampoo do you use? - Very good question, again.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37What shampoo do I use? The answer is...
0:17:38 > 0:17:40..I don't. I'm bald!
0:17:40 > 0:17:43JAZZ MUSIC
0:17:43 > 0:17:48- Give him a big hand, everyone! - APPLAUSE
0:17:48 > 0:17:52Hugo Tenderhorn, the world's biggest liar.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Well, Fiona, it's up to you.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Remember, if he gets the thumbs up,
0:17:57 > 0:18:00then it's back to that cell and a lovely hot drink.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03But, if he gets the thumbs down,
0:18:03 > 0:18:08it's back to solitary confinement for whelping with a whippet.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10You've got five seconds to decide.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Up or down? Your time starts now!
0:18:13 > 0:18:17TENSE MUSIC
0:18:20 > 0:18:24It's up! Yes! He's going for a lovely cup, a nice drink.
0:18:24 > 0:18:29Give Fiona a round of applause, as well. Wonderful!
0:18:29 > 0:18:33Now on to our next performing prisoner, Michael Raivard!
0:18:33 > 0:18:37APPLAUSE
0:18:42 > 0:18:47SINISTER MUSIC
0:20:05 > 0:20:11APPLAUSE
0:20:14 > 0:20:16It's the governor! It's me!
0:20:16 > 0:20:20Well, I thought it was rather good, but what did you think? Mr Burgess?
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Right, what about that?
0:20:22 > 0:20:26They always draw pictures of the governor, don't they?
0:20:26 > 0:20:29It was really good, it was fantabulous!
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Anything draw you to it particularly? Ha, see what I did there?
0:20:31 > 0:20:36- It wasn't a good joke.- Oh, all right. That's you done with.
0:20:36 > 0:20:41- What did you think of that artist? - Er, shiny?- Yes, very shiny.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44- And is he going to go free? - If it gets it more shiny.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46If it gets more shiny.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49Has he done enough to reform himself, be let loose?
0:20:49 > 0:20:51- No.- Why not, sir?
0:20:52 > 0:20:57- Because.- Do you think this is a laughing matter, sir?- No!
0:20:57 > 0:21:01Are you laughing in the face of the law, sir?
0:21:01 > 0:21:02AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:21:02 > 0:21:05We're trying to help the magical bunnies.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- Have you got anything to give? - I'll give a tie.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11- What good's a tie?! - Put it around the rabbit.
0:21:11 > 0:21:15Well, he'd be well dressed. That's very nice.
0:21:15 > 0:21:19- One final word. Sum that act up for me, sir.- Artistic.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Artistic, sir. Thank you.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24NIBBLES MAKES GNAWING SOUNDS
0:21:24 > 0:21:28Come on, Nibbles, you can do it!
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Slowly, but you CAN do it.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Would you shut up? I'm concentrating!
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Jailers and jailbirds, please show your appreciation
0:21:36 > 0:21:40- for the incredible skills of Halo! - APPLAUSE
0:21:48 > 0:21:52DANCE MUSIC
0:23:10 > 0:23:12APPLAUSE
0:23:15 > 0:23:19Come on, let's hear it for Halo! OK, then.
0:23:19 > 0:23:23Will they be seeing daylight and going free, or back to the gloom
0:23:23 > 0:23:24of their cells?
0:23:24 > 0:23:27Let's find out with Mr Burgess!
0:23:27 > 0:23:31Well, Halo, there. Was it a group of angels for you, miss?
0:23:31 > 0:23:34- It was brilliant.- Brilliant, why?
0:23:34 > 0:23:39- It just got well acted.- What made it well acted?- They did brilliant stuff.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42- What did you think? - It was fabulous.
0:23:42 > 0:23:46Your beads are fabulous, too. Give us a swing.
0:23:46 > 0:23:51- Imagine that with a hula hoop! That would be good, wouldn't it?- Yeah.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54For a final word, sum that act up for me, miss!
0:23:54 > 0:23:56- Excellent.- Excellent, sir!
0:23:56 > 0:24:00Well, folks, before we find out who's going free from The Slammer,
0:24:00 > 0:24:03I want to make a special announcement.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Today, we have raised the grand total of £10,000!
0:24:06 > 0:24:09APPLAUSE
0:24:09 > 0:24:12So, let's present a special cheque to our charity.
0:24:12 > 0:24:16Please welcome the founder of the home for magic rabbits,
0:24:16 > 0:24:18The Great Muscovado!
0:24:18 > 0:24:21- APPLAUSE - Marvellous!
0:24:21 > 0:24:24NIBBLES MAKES GNAWING SOUNDS
0:24:24 > 0:24:28Brilliant, we've done it! Come on!
0:24:28 > 0:24:30..this cheque for 10,000...
0:24:30 > 0:24:34- Stop, stop, stop! The whole thing's a setup!- Peter!
0:24:34 > 0:24:38Yeah, no, it's him off the poster, Barry Nugget.
0:24:38 > 0:24:39A most dangerous conman!
0:24:39 > 0:24:43Yeah, he's a fraud, all the rabbits are fake, even Clive!
0:24:43 > 0:24:45AUDIENCE GASP
0:24:47 > 0:24:50I admit it! There is no home for magical rabbits!
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to hop it.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56AUDIENCE BOO
0:24:56 > 0:24:58CRASHING, THEN WHISTLE BLOWS
0:24:58 > 0:25:03BELLS RING
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Right, Mr Burgess, take that cheque away.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Oh, dear. Well, what a fraudster he was.
0:25:08 > 0:25:13But, never mind, we've still got to find out who's going free from
0:25:13 > 0:25:16today's Freedom Show, so please welcome back on stage
0:25:16 > 0:25:20Christian Lee, Two Tricky, Michael Raivard,
0:25:20 > 0:25:26- and Halo! There they are. - APPLAUSE
0:25:29 > 0:25:33Wonderful. We've got four acts, you're going to cheer them,
0:25:33 > 0:25:37and the clap-ometer will turn your noise into points.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39The highest score goes free.
0:25:39 > 0:25:43Will you please show your appreciation for a wonderful act?
0:25:43 > 0:25:45It was Christian Lee!
0:25:45 > 0:25:49APPLAUSE
0:25:51 > 0:25:55Well, he's been released before, he got 78.1.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58I don't know if that's going to be enough.
0:25:58 > 0:26:02Two really skilful footballers now. It's Two Tricky!
0:26:02 > 0:26:07APPLAUSE
0:26:08 > 0:26:12Wow! They've scored 90.8, they go into the lead. Wonderful!
0:26:12 > 0:26:17The next performing prisoner captured my charm wonderfully.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Michael Raivard!
0:26:19 > 0:26:23APPLAUSE
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Oh, it's 82.3.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29Michael, you're staying for supper tonight,
0:26:29 > 0:26:31because it's Michael Raivard's 82.3.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34There's one more performing prisoner act to see.
0:26:34 > 0:26:38Show your appreciation for the talents of Halo!
0:26:38 > 0:26:41APPLAUSE
0:26:41 > 0:26:4590.9! This is the closest it's ever been.
0:26:45 > 0:26:50I think, by 0.1, just ahead of Two Tricky, it's Halo going free!
0:26:50 > 0:26:55Halo, you're free to go! Oh, so close! Off you go!
0:26:55 > 0:26:59They are free to go, their debt to society paid.
0:26:59 > 0:27:04- The others are in time for tea, here at The Slammer. Mr Burgess!- Sir?
0:27:04 > 0:27:06What's for tea tonight?
0:27:06 > 0:27:10- Well, tonight, sir, it's a fusion, sir.- Fusion?- Fusion, sir.
0:27:10 > 0:27:14It's where we take different styles, tastes, smells and influences
0:27:14 > 0:27:18- from all over the world and create something.- And what have
0:27:18 > 0:27:23- you created tonight?- We've got sloppy, ploppy and porridge.
0:27:23 > 0:27:28Ugh! Take them back to the cells! Give them a big round of applause!
0:27:29 > 0:27:32Jailers and jailbirds, that's all for now.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35From the Slammer, bye, everybody!
0:27:45 > 0:27:49Believing all that mumbo-jumbo about magical rabbits.
0:27:49 > 0:27:53- I feel like a total idiot! - You're not a TOTAL idiot, sir.
0:27:53 > 0:27:58Fortunately, I've found a proper charity to give our money to.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01Gentlemen, the Slammer now proudly supports
0:28:01 > 0:28:04the Academy for Gifted Goats!
0:28:04 > 0:28:07GOAT BLEATS Oh!