0:00:02 > 0:00:05"Dear Nephew, things have been busy since you left.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07"Sorry I haven't visited you in the hospital
0:00:07 > 0:00:09"after the accident with the elephant
0:00:09 > 0:00:11"and the chain saw swallower.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14"I hope your eyebrows have grown back.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17"We've had a few eyebrow-raising acts. Some eye-poppers...
0:00:17 > 0:00:19"some show-stoppers...
0:00:19 > 0:00:21"and some daft boppers.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23"Send my love to your mother,
0:00:23 > 0:00:26"I hope she's not too sad to have you back home.
0:00:26 > 0:00:27"Thank her for my new mug.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30"It makes the tea breaks go really quickly.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32"Lots of love, the Governor."
0:00:41 > 0:00:46# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime
0:00:46 > 0:00:50# So welcome to The Slammer where you're gonna serve your time
0:00:50 > 0:00:54# With every type of minstrel entertainer and artiste
0:00:54 > 0:00:59# Performing to the limit to try and get released
0:00:59 > 0:01:03# So go and fetch the audience bring them to The Slammer
0:01:03 > 0:01:07# And polish up your act with a bit of glitz and glamour
0:01:07 > 0:01:12# Your fate is in their hands so make them cheer and clamour
0:01:12 > 0:01:16# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer
0:01:16 > 0:01:20# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:01:23 > 0:01:24Thanks for applying
0:01:24 > 0:01:28for the role of prison officer at The Slammer, Miss Knight.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30You're a very impressive candidate.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Why did you leave your last job at the call centre?
0:01:33 > 0:01:35You know, late nights... PHONE RINGS
0:01:35 > 0:01:39Aaah!
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Are you all right?
0:01:41 > 0:01:42Yes, yes, of course.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Anyway, as I was saying, late nights...
0:01:45 > 0:01:47PHONE RINGS Aaah!
0:01:49 > 0:01:54OK, OK, I have a pathological fear of telephones.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57Yes, well... Thanks for coming in, Miss Knight.
0:01:57 > 0:02:03Pop your application form in the Magic Box of Dreams on your way out.
0:02:03 > 0:02:07- Isn't that the bin? - It's a magic box of dreams.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10PHONE RINGS Aaah! No!
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Next!
0:02:15 > 0:02:18So, Mr Smith, tell me, what do you know about prisoners?
0:02:18 > 0:02:19I used to be one.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Next!
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Hee hee hee hee!
0:02:23 > 0:02:24Next!
0:02:25 > 0:02:26Who are you?
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Holly Janice Jupiter Bungee Hedgehog Tesco Meadows.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33Sorry I'm late, I walked past a woman on my way here,
0:02:33 > 0:02:37- my phone went off and she jumped into a pond, I had to save her.- Ooh!
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Right, thank you. Oh...
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Ooh, I see you graduated top of your class
0:02:42 > 0:02:45- at the Prison Officer's Training Academy.- Oh, yes!
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Because of my ideas for improving prison life.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Prison should be a happy place!
0:02:50 > 0:02:54We'll start the day with a huge chocolate marshmallow milkshake
0:02:54 > 0:02:58- and a bouncy castle session. - I love chocolate milkshakes.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00- And bouncy castles!- Who doesn't?
0:03:00 > 0:03:05And every night the prison officers read the prisoners a bedtime story.
0:03:05 > 0:03:06Right, Miss Meadows...
0:03:06 > 0:03:08I think I can safely say,
0:03:08 > 0:03:12as long as you satisfy Mr Burgess' requirements, you're in!
0:03:12 > 0:03:15- Thank you!- Oh...- Sorry.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19Burgess. It means...Warrior.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23Meadows. It means...more than one meadow.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27Well, you look a bit weedy to me. I hope you're tough enough.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31You've got to be tough here - hardest prison in the country.
0:03:31 > 0:03:36- I thought it was for entertainers... - Entertainers? Entertainers, she says!
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Now, listen. We had a magician in here, Tricky Timmy.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Practised his sawing trick on one of the officers.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45- What happened?!- Poor old Stanley.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47He's half the man he used to be.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50- All right, Stan? - Crikey...
0:03:50 > 0:03:55Right then, Miss, time to put you through your paces
0:03:55 > 0:03:57- with the Burgess System. - What's that?
0:04:09 > 0:04:12- It sounds a bit extreme... - Extremely effective!
0:04:12 > 0:04:16To implement the Burgess System, there are three skills to master.
0:04:16 > 0:04:17Is one of them singing?
0:04:17 > 0:04:20- I made up a Prison Officer's song... - No, it is not!
0:04:20 > 0:04:24It's the Prison Officer's Walk, the Prison Officer's Stare
0:04:24 > 0:04:27- and the Prison Officer's SHOUT! - Oh, crikey.
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Ah, yes.
0:04:32 > 0:04:37There's nothing more intimidating than a good Prison Officer's Walk.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Your turn. One step at a time.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Remember, you can't Prison Officer Run
0:04:41 > 0:04:43until you can Prison Officer Walk.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Ooh!
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Enjoy your trip? Send us a postcard next time!
0:04:50 > 0:04:51THEY LAUGH
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Whatever do they teach you at the academy these days?
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Sorry, Miss, I didn't mean to ruin your test.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- Don't worry.- I'm a comedian... not a very good one,
0:05:07 > 0:05:10I didn't think anyone would actually laugh.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Maybe I'm not cut out to be a Prison Officer...
0:05:13 > 0:05:16- it's a shame, though, I had such big plans...- Yeah? Like what?
0:05:16 > 0:05:19I thought it would be good for morale
0:05:19 > 0:05:21if we gave the prisoners space hoppers
0:05:21 > 0:05:24and installed water slides from cell to cell.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27And maybe give them pocket money for good behaviour.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Sounds amazing, everyone would love that!
0:05:30 > 0:05:32I'll tell you what we'll do...
0:05:34 > 0:05:37- Right, Fields...- Meadows.- Whatever.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Stare him out.
0:05:42 > 0:05:43Aaah!
0:05:45 > 0:05:47So, how'd I do?
0:05:47 > 0:05:51- All right, don't get smug, Fields... - Meadows.- Whatever.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55There's still the Prison Officer's SHOUT!
0:05:57 > 0:05:59You miserable worm!
0:05:59 > 0:06:02No...worms are quite happy creatures actually,
0:06:02 > 0:06:04and very good for soil. Er...
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Only five minutes till the Freedom Show.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08How's the new recruit?
0:06:08 > 0:06:11She can stare the stare, but she can't walk the walk.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13- Watch this. Fields! - It's Meadows, sir.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17Whatever. Prison Officer's Walk - at the double.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24- What's up with you lot? - She's just so...intimidating.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26I think that ticks the box, Frank.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Only Prison Officer's Shout left.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Well, this should be good. Right, then, Fields,
0:06:33 > 0:06:37the Governor wants all inmates in the auditorium immediately,
0:06:37 > 0:06:39- dispatch your orders! - Yes, Sir.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Right, listen up!
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Move, you horrible lot, there's a show to be done!
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Come on!
0:06:48 > 0:06:51You call that a clown costume? That's a joke...
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Get your act together!
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- Actually, I think it's really lovely.- What?
0:06:55 > 0:06:57- You horrible clown!- Better.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01Very impressive. She could give you a run for your money!
0:07:01 > 0:07:05- I think you'll find she was lucky. - Oh, I think it's us who are lucky.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09- Welcome to The Slammer, Prison Officer Meadows!- Thank you.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12- KLAXON BLARES - Don't just stand there gawping!
0:07:12 > 0:07:16Get in the office and pull the switch, there's a show to be done!
0:07:16 > 0:07:18- Move those little legs!- Ooh!
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Ooh...
0:07:23 > 0:07:25How do I look?
0:07:25 > 0:07:28- Divine! - Thank you very much. It's Showtime!
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HMP Slammer,
0:07:34 > 0:07:37where you decide which prisoner is to be released.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Now, please welcome your host,
0:07:39 > 0:07:43he's slapped paint on the walls and refurbished the place.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46Now he's going to slap a fat smile on your face!
0:07:46 > 0:07:50It's the Governor! APPLAUSE
0:08:05 > 0:08:08- Who's the Governor? - ALL:- You're the Governor!
0:08:08 > 0:08:12Oh, Jailers and Jailbirds, it's great to see you for a Freedom Show.
0:08:12 > 0:08:16But before we do anything else, we've got a new addition
0:08:16 > 0:08:19to The Slammer, it's Prison Officer Meadows.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24We've got a Freedom Show, ladies and gentlemen.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Four acts who are all here in The Slammer,
0:08:26 > 0:08:30who've committed crimes but are hoping to get free.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34You will decide who's going free. And what acts we've got for you!
0:08:34 > 0:08:36We've got a magical act called Magic Lee.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:08:39 > 0:08:41We've got a wonderful cycling act,
0:08:41 > 0:08:44the sensational Alice Allart and her bike show!
0:08:44 > 0:08:46- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Yeah. She'll knock you out your saddle.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52And a mime act all the way from Japan called Gamarjobat!
0:08:52 > 0:08:54- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:08:54 > 0:08:58But first, performing prisoners, an act that is serving four years
0:08:58 > 0:09:02in The Slammer, they're really, really "Bad".
0:09:02 > 0:09:06And you'll understand when you welcome Thriller Live!
0:09:20 > 0:09:23MUSIC: "Smooth Criminal" by Michael Jackson
0:09:37 > 0:09:41# As he came into the window It was the sound of a crescendo
0:09:41 > 0:09:42# He came into her apartment
0:09:42 > 0:09:45# He left the bloodstains on the carpet
0:09:45 > 0:09:49# She ran underneath the table He could see she was unable
0:09:49 > 0:09:50# So she ran into the bedroom
0:09:50 > 0:09:52# She was struck down it was her doom
0:09:52 > 0:09:54# Annie, are you OK?
0:09:54 > 0:09:55# So, Annie are you OK?
0:09:55 > 0:09:58# Are you OK, Annie? Annie, are you OK?
0:09:58 > 0:09:59# So, Annie are you OK?
0:09:59 > 0:10:02# Are you OK, Annie? Annie, are you OK?
0:10:02 > 0:10:05# So, Annie are you OK? Are you OK, Annie?
0:10:05 > 0:10:07# Annie, are you OK?
0:10:07 > 0:10:09# So, Annie are you OK? are you OK, Annie?
0:10:09 > 0:10:11# Annie are you OK?
0:10:11 > 0:10:13# Will you tell us that you're OK?
0:10:13 > 0:10:15# There's a sign in the window
0:10:15 > 0:10:17# That he struck you a crescendo, Annie
0:10:17 > 0:10:19# He came into your apartment
0:10:19 > 0:10:21# Left the bloodstains on the carpet
0:10:21 > 0:10:23# Then you ran into the bedroom
0:10:23 > 0:10:25# You were struck down It was your doom
0:10:25 > 0:10:26# Annie, are you OK?
0:10:26 > 0:10:29# So, Annie are you OK? Are you OK, Annie?
0:10:29 > 0:10:32# You've been hit by You've been struck by
0:10:32 > 0:10:34# A smooth criminal... #
0:10:37 > 0:10:38Ow!
0:10:45 > 0:10:49OK, I want everybody to clear the area right now.
0:10:49 > 0:10:50Ow!
0:10:57 > 0:10:58Ow!
0:10:58 > 0:11:01# Annie, are you OK? Will you tell us that you're OK?
0:11:01 > 0:11:03# There's a sign in the window
0:11:03 > 0:11:06# That he struck you a crescendo, Annie
0:11:06 > 0:11:08# He came into your apartment
0:11:08 > 0:11:10# Left the bloodstains on the carpet
0:11:10 > 0:11:12# Then you ran into the bedroom
0:11:12 > 0:11:15# You were struck down It was your doom, Annie... #
0:11:17 > 0:11:18Ow!
0:11:18 > 0:11:20APPLAUSE
0:11:23 > 0:11:24Oh, there they are.
0:11:24 > 0:11:28Well, convict connoisseurs, what a sensational act!
0:11:28 > 0:11:30Thriller Live. Bad? Good?
0:11:30 > 0:11:34Off the wall? Are they going over the wall, out of The Slammer?
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Let's find out with Mr Burgess and Miss Meadows!
0:11:37 > 0:11:40- Right, then, Fields...- Meadows. - Whatever.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Watch and learn.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Right, then, Miss, what did you make of that?
0:11:44 > 0:11:47I think it was cool, fantastic and sensational
0:11:47 > 0:11:50because of all the cool dance moves they did.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Tell us about Thriller Live.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56Um, that was an amazing tribute, and I really enjoyed it.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59- Sum that act up for me in one final word, please.- Exciting.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Exciting! Right, off you go, Fields.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05There we are, Thriller Live. Will they be going free?
0:12:05 > 0:12:07You've got other acts to see.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11The next act is a marvellous magical mind-reading act.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13He's serving four years in The Slammer,
0:12:13 > 0:12:15for pulling a rabbit out of a hat.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19You might not think that's bad, but it was a policeman's hat
0:12:19 > 0:12:21and he was wearing it at the time.
0:12:21 > 0:12:27Please welcome the mystical skills of Magic Lee!
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Well, well, hello everyone! Pleasure to be here.
0:12:38 > 0:12:43I'm Magic Lee, and today we're going to be doing some mind reading,
0:12:43 > 0:12:45and I'm going to attempt to read your minds.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49In this book there's lots of pictures of famous people,
0:12:49 > 0:12:52you can see we've got Superman, Mickey Mouse, there.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55I need someone to help me out, so let me see,
0:12:55 > 0:12:58these two here, would you help me out?
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Thank you. Come on up to the stage.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04- Hello, young man. What is your name?- Sam.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07- Sam, and your girlfriend, what is your name?- Keira.
0:13:07 > 0:13:11- Is it not...?- No.- Not your girlfriend, how embarrassing.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Flick through, check they're all different.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17I'll explain how we're going to select the famous person.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20I've got a bag of different numbered tokens,
0:13:20 > 0:13:22representing page numbers in the book.
0:13:22 > 0:13:26Dip your hand in, grab one or two, take a couple out.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Brilliant. Let's see what you've got there.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31That's number 15, number 32.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34So they're all different, that's important.
0:13:34 > 0:13:35You're going to select one,
0:13:35 > 0:13:39and turn to the page in the book and remember the character.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Brilliant. Would you reach in there?
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Grab one of those. Don't let me see.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Grab one, hold it tight in your hand.
0:13:46 > 0:13:47Don't show anybody.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50I'm going to cover my head with this bag
0:13:50 > 0:13:55so I can't see or have any clue as to who the person is, OK?
0:13:55 > 0:13:58So here we go, I'll cover my head over with this.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02- OK, am I facing the right way? - AUDIENCE: Yes.- Brilliant.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06Please turn to the page in the book of the token you've selected.
0:14:07 > 0:14:11Let me see... OK, I'm picking up... This is someone very famous.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Ava... Ava Gardner, is that right?
0:14:14 > 0:14:17- No.- Oh. It's not Ava Gardner. OK, let me try again.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21- It's Sam... Samuel L Jackson? Is it Samuel L Jackson?- No.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24I'm ever so sorry, this doesn't usually happen.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26- Who have you chosen? - Spider-Man.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30I can't hear - can everyone shout that out, please?
0:14:30 > 0:14:32- ALL: Spider-Man!- Spider-Man?
0:14:32 > 0:14:34# Spider-Man, Spider-Man
0:14:34 > 0:14:36# You'll find the Spider-Man. #
0:14:39 > 0:14:41All right, then, come on!
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Let's hear it for Magic Lee, there!
0:14:44 > 0:14:45Thank you!
0:14:45 > 0:14:49Is he a magical act, or is he going to do a disappearing act,
0:14:49 > 0:14:50out of The Slammer?
0:14:50 > 0:14:54Let's find out with Miss Meadows, who's with Mr Burgess.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57- Right, come on, Fields. - Meadows.- Whatever.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Come on, stick close.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02Get down here. Now then, Miss, Magic Lee. Magic or tragic?
0:15:02 > 0:15:05- It was magical. - What about this gentleman here?
0:15:05 > 0:15:09He definitely won't be getting sloppy ploppy porridge
0:15:09 > 0:15:12- if they still have it. - Right. And for one final word - sir.
0:15:12 > 0:15:16- Mind-bobbling. - Brilliant, sir, brilliant!
0:15:16 > 0:15:20Right, well, that's what you thought of Magic Lee, Jailers and Jailbirds.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24But now it's time for the act that we call Solitary Confinement.
0:15:28 > 0:15:29No more custard, Granddad!
0:15:29 > 0:15:32Solitary Confinement, the acts that are so bad
0:15:32 > 0:15:36we don't let them mix with the other performing prisoners.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38But we let them perform now and then.
0:15:38 > 0:15:42If they do well, they can't go free, but they get a treat.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Today's treat, if they get the thumbs-up,
0:15:44 > 0:15:46they can go down to the park
0:15:46 > 0:15:48and have a play on the swings and the roundabouts.
0:15:48 > 0:15:53But if they get the thumbs-down then it's a cruel and unusual punishment.
0:15:53 > 0:15:57Today, sir, it's being put into a hessian sack
0:15:57 > 0:16:00and catapulted into outer space.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Now, who's going to be the judge?
0:16:02 > 0:16:06You look like you've got a square head on your shoulders.
0:16:06 > 0:16:07Let's get this on.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11Oh, she's going to be the judge. Give her a round of applause.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Thank you.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15- Listen, what's your name?- Olivia.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Got a thumb? You'll need that thumb later.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Let's get ready for Solitary Confinement
0:16:21 > 0:16:23and an act called Dad Direction!
0:16:30 > 0:16:32# One way or another
0:16:32 > 0:16:34# I'm gonna find you
0:16:34 > 0:16:37# I'm gonna get you, get you get you, get you
0:16:37 > 0:16:38# One day, maybe next week
0:16:38 > 0:16:40# I'm gonna meet you
0:16:40 > 0:16:42# I'll meet you, I'll meet you
0:16:43 > 0:16:45# One, two, three, four
0:16:45 > 0:16:46# Na na na na
0:16:46 > 0:16:48# Na na na-na-na-na
0:16:48 > 0:16:49# Na na na na
0:16:49 > 0:16:51# Na na na-na-na-na
0:16:51 > 0:16:53# I wanna hold you wanna hold you tight
0:16:53 > 0:16:57# Get teenage kicks right through the night. #
0:16:57 > 0:16:59CHEERING
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Dad Direction, a whole new meaning to "dad dancing."
0:17:06 > 0:17:10And a few surprises for our Jailors and Jailbirds.
0:17:10 > 0:17:11Who had a dad in that lot?
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Yes, it's your dads, isn't it?
0:17:13 > 0:17:17We've got 'em in The Slammer! Shall we keep 'em here?
0:17:17 > 0:17:18- ALL: Yes!- Yes!
0:17:18 > 0:17:22Judge Olivia, you decide whether they're going to get that treat.
0:17:22 > 0:17:27Remember, thumbs up and it's off to the park for a nice play.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31Thumbs down, it's off to a galaxy far, far away.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35You've got five seconds to decide. What's it going to be?
0:17:35 > 0:17:37AUDIENCE: Ohhh...
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Oh!
0:17:42 > 0:17:45It's off into space in a hessian sack.
0:17:45 > 0:17:46Give them a round of applause.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49Performing dads. Dad Direction.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Well, Judge Olivia, you did very well.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55Nobody goes away empty-handed. You've got a treat as well.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59A picture, signed by the Governor. Give her a big hand, please.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Marvellous.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05CREAKING AND GROANING
0:18:07 > 0:18:08Fire!
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Well, your daddies won't be home for tea, will they?
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Well, Jailers and Jailbirds,
0:18:18 > 0:18:21it's time for our next performing prisoner act,
0:18:21 > 0:18:22and what an act she is.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25She's a performing cyclist, she's marvellous.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27She's serving five years
0:18:27 > 0:18:30for doing her act and falling asleep on a bike.
0:18:30 > 0:18:34In her defence she said she was "two tyred."
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Jailers and Jailbirds,
0:18:36 > 0:18:40please welcome Alice Allart's bike show!
0:18:40 > 0:18:43APPLAUSE
0:20:17 > 0:20:21Oh, oh, yes! Alice Allart, there! And her marvellous bike show.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23And remember, Jailers and Jailbirds,
0:20:23 > 0:20:27Alice is a highly trained professional performing prisoner,
0:20:27 > 0:20:30so do not try that at home on your bicycles.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33Anybody watching that, don't try it.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36But will she be on her bike out of The Slammer,
0:20:36 > 0:20:38or will she be back on the chain gang?
0:20:38 > 0:20:41Let's find out, first of all, with Mr Burgess.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Alice Allart. What did you make of that?
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- It was good.- Is that all?- Yeah.
0:20:46 > 0:20:50A woman does a handstand riding on a bike, backwards,
0:20:50 > 0:20:52and all you can say is it's good?!
0:20:52 > 0:20:56- You're grinning away there, what did you make of that?- Good!
0:20:56 > 0:21:00- What did you think?- Very good, she was very skilful and talented,
0:21:00 > 0:21:03lots of dangerous moves, very entertaining.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06- Right, Fields...- Meadows.- Whatever. Over to you.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09And for one final word, sum that act up, please.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12- Exciting.- Exciting, sir.
0:21:12 > 0:21:17Well, my felonious felon fans, just one performing prisoner act to see.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21They've been in The Slammer before, and they won their freedom.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24But being a double act, they've gone and done it again,
0:21:24 > 0:21:26so they've got to try and get out again.
0:21:26 > 0:21:31Jailers and Jailbirds, welcome the miming talent of Gamarjobat!
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Aaah!
0:21:53 > 0:21:56THEY SPEAK JAPANESE
0:22:11 > 0:22:16ALL: One, two, three!
0:22:39 > 0:22:42HE MIMICS ROBOTIC PISTONS
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Whoa, there they are.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Weren't they sensational?
0:24:21 > 0:24:23But will they be saying...
0:24:23 > 0:24:27to The Slammer? Let's find out, with Mr Burgess.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Right, Meadows, you're on.
0:24:30 > 0:24:34- All right, all right.- Ahem. Could you sum that act up, please?
0:24:34 > 0:24:37Um, it was very creative and inventive.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Describe the act to me.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Really good and entertaining.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45- Yes. You like their hair? - Needs some improvements!
0:24:45 > 0:24:47And for one final word?
0:24:47 > 0:24:49- Impeccable.- Ooh, I like that.
0:24:49 > 0:24:53Well, that's it. Gamarjobat, your opinions on them.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Who's going to go free?
0:24:55 > 0:24:58Let's welcome them all back onto the stage.
0:24:58 > 0:24:59Thriller Live!
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Magic Lee!
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Here they come.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Alice Allart's bike show!
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Gamarjobat!
0:25:08 > 0:25:11Marvellous. Four performing prisoner acts.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Each very, very different, but only one can go free.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18You will decide with this. Yes, Warden Meadows, Clap-o-meter.
0:25:18 > 0:25:23The more noise you make, the higher the score through the Clap-o-meter,
0:25:23 > 0:25:26and that performing prisoner act goes free.
0:25:26 > 0:25:30It's simple, but will it be this one? Jailers and Jailbirds,
0:25:30 > 0:25:34please make some noise and show your appreciation for Thriller Live!
0:25:34 > 0:25:36CHEERING
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Good score.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Up into the greens, there.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46And the computer on the Clap-o-meter says 79.3.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49Very good, Thriller Live. Marvellous.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53Well, this next gentleman, will he go free? It's Magic Lee!
0:25:53 > 0:25:55CHEERING
0:25:55 > 0:25:56Oh...
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Yes, that's Magic Lee with 72.1.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04So he's definitely going to be staying
0:26:04 > 0:26:07for some sloppy ploppy porridge.
0:26:07 > 0:26:11On now to the next act - Alice Allart's bike show!
0:26:11 > 0:26:13CHEERING
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Good score.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20And remember, don't try those stunts at home,
0:26:20 > 0:26:22she's trained to do it.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25Alice Allart's bike show gets 77.6.
0:26:25 > 0:26:30Well, at the moment in pole position, it is Thriller Live.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Unless one remaining act can knock them off their perch.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37Will they be going free a second time from The Slammer?
0:26:37 > 0:26:40Please show your appreciation for Gamarjobat!
0:26:40 > 0:26:42CHEERING
0:26:44 > 0:26:45Oh!
0:26:46 > 0:26:50Oh, I think you nearly broke the Clap-o-meter there.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52A great score, wasn't it?
0:26:52 > 0:26:5891.5. Going free, it's Gamarjobat! You're free, lads!
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Free to go! Take 'em away!
0:27:00 > 0:27:04Take 'em away! They're free to go! Free at last.
0:27:04 > 0:27:08Well, Jailers and Jailbirds, that's good news for Gamarjobat.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11And the bad news for all the other acts,
0:27:11 > 0:27:15- you're staying in The Slammer. Mr Burgess.- Hah!- What's for tea?
0:27:15 > 0:27:19- Steak and chips, sir. - Oh! Are they having steak and chips?
0:27:19 > 0:27:21No, that's what I'm having.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24- The rest are having sloppy ploppy porridge.- Ohh!
0:27:24 > 0:27:27Take 'em away, give 'em a big cheer!
0:27:27 > 0:27:30They were marvellous.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Wonderful performing prisoners.
0:27:32 > 0:27:36Well, that's all we have time for on the Freedom Show for now.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39But we'll be back soon for more fun and frolics
0:27:39 > 0:27:42and performing prisoners in The Slammer.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45But remember, if you can't sing, dance or rhyme...
0:27:45 > 0:27:48- ALL: Don't do the crime! - And we'll see you all soon,
0:27:48 > 0:27:52little Jailers and Jailbirds, in The Slammer. Bye-bye, everybody! Bye!
0:28:11 > 0:28:17# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:28:17 > 0:28:22"..and with that, Flopsy Bunny and Tickle Tiger joined hands
0:28:22 > 0:28:27"under Cuddle Moon and skipped off to live happily ever after..."
0:28:29 > 0:28:31Now get to bed, you horrible little lot!
0:28:35 > 0:28:38Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd