0:00:02 > 0:00:04Dear sis, I hope you are well and got the chocolate eclair
0:00:04 > 0:00:06I sent you for your birthday.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08It was half eaten when I bought it - honest.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10You should have seen the Freedom Show today.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13We had acts to make your mind boggle...
0:00:13 > 0:00:14LIVELY MUSIC PLAYS
0:00:14 > 0:00:16..acts to make your eyes pop...
0:00:16 > 0:00:18LIVELY MUSIC PLAYS
0:00:18 > 0:00:21And I saved the day with my lightning fast fingers...
0:00:21 > 0:00:22Here we go!
0:00:28 > 0:00:29# You've been found guilty
0:00:29 > 0:00:32# Of a howling showbiz crime
0:00:32 > 0:00:34# So welcome to The Slammer
0:00:34 > 0:00:36# Where you're gonna serve your time
0:00:36 > 0:00:41# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste
0:00:41 > 0:00:46# Performing to the limit to try and get released
0:00:46 > 0:00:50# So go fetch the audience, bring them to The Slammer
0:00:50 > 0:00:54# And polish up your act with a bit of glitz and glamour
0:00:54 > 0:00:59# Your fate is in their hands, so make them cheer and clamour
0:00:59 > 0:01:02# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer
0:01:02 > 0:01:03# The Slammer
0:01:03 > 0:01:06# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Four in a row, sir. There you go, I win again.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Oh! You've really got the hang of this, haven't you, Frank?
0:01:19 > 0:01:22That's 502 to me and none to you, sir.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25- Best of 1007?- Yeah, go on, then.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28I preferred it when we played two in a row. Much simpler.
0:01:28 > 0:01:29PHONE RINGS
0:01:29 > 0:01:30Oh, wait a minute.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33HMP Slammer, Governor speaking.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Ooh, thank you very much!
0:01:35 > 0:01:38- Great news, Frank! - You've been fired, sir!
0:01:38 > 0:01:39No, I've not been fired.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43My favourite band, Mumford & Sons, are coming to stay at The Slammer.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45The Mumford & Sons, sir? Britain's top folk band? Are you sure?
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Yes, they've just been arrested,
0:01:47 > 0:01:49live on stage for snapping their G string.
0:01:49 > 0:01:53- Come on, we've got to give them a proper folksy welcome.- Right, sir.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Finger in ear and droning all the way.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59# Diddly-di di-do... #
0:01:59 > 0:02:02I'm not altogether sure about this, you know, sir.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Nonsense, Frank. They're folk heroes!
0:02:04 > 0:02:06We need to make them feel welcome.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08But itchy jumpers, sir, and false beards!
0:02:08 > 0:02:10I mean, really, really, sir!
0:02:10 > 0:02:11How do you think I feel?
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Will you two stop complaining?!
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Look, they're really here! Oh, it's Mumford & Sons!
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Hang on, I thought Mumford & Sons were a lot younger than that!
0:02:19 > 0:02:21They are! You're not Mumford & Sons.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23We were promised Mumford & Sons!
0:02:23 > 0:02:26No, no, no! We're not Mumford & Sons,
0:02:26 > 0:02:28we're Mumble & Son!
0:02:28 > 0:02:29Why are you called that?
0:02:29 > 0:02:32MAN MUMBLES
0:02:32 > 0:02:33OTHER MAN LAUGHS
0:02:33 > 0:02:37Exactly. I'm Mickey Mumble and this is my dad, Martin Mumble.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Your dad? You both look the same age to me.
0:02:39 > 0:02:40I've had a very hard life.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42I'm not surprised, with him as your father.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Sir, you seriously can't want these two to close the Freedom Show.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48- They might not be that bad! - Meadows is right.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52Let's at least give them a chance, Frank. Come on, hit it.
0:02:54 > 0:02:59THEY SING MUMBLED LYRICS
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Hey, and that is our greatest hit!
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Meadows was right, sir. They're not bad.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09They're flaming terrible!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Oh, this takes me back.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13What to? A bee attack?
0:03:13 > 0:03:15No, sir, family holidays in Wales!
0:03:15 > 0:03:17I think I'll take my chances with the bees.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20What are you doing, Meadows? What are you doing?
0:03:20 > 0:03:23All right, all right! Cut, cut, cut!
0:03:23 > 0:03:25We can't let these two on the Freedom Show,
0:03:25 > 0:03:27they wouldn't even make solitary confinement.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Oh, they just need to practise, sir.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32They'll be toppermost of the poppermost by the Freedom Show,
0:03:32 > 0:03:34or my name's not Honey Meadows!
0:03:34 > 0:03:37- But your name is Honey Meadows, right?- Yes, of course.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Just checking. All right, but on your head be it, Meadows!
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Woo-hoo!
0:03:41 > 0:03:42THEY SING LOUDLY
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Shut up!
0:03:45 > 0:03:47MUMBLE & SON PLAY MUSIC
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Stop, stop, stop, stop!
0:03:49 > 0:03:54Right, Martin, let's start by helping you get your words out.
0:03:54 > 0:03:55Repeat after me.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57How now, brown cow?
0:03:59 > 0:04:01HE MUMBLES
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Right. Let's try this one.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07Two tired toads try to trot to Tewkesbury.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11HE MUMBLES
0:04:11 > 0:04:12MICKEY LAUGHS
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Close.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17THEY PLAY MUSIC WITH MUMBLED LYRICS
0:04:17 > 0:04:19How are you getting on?
0:04:19 > 0:04:20HE MUMBLES
0:04:20 > 0:04:22He says, "Much better, thank you!"
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Can't you hear the improvement?
0:04:25 > 0:04:26BOTH: No!
0:04:26 > 0:04:28THEY PLAY MUSIC AND MUMBLE LYRICS
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Stop it! Desist! Belt up with that banjo!
0:04:31 > 0:04:33HE MUMBLES
0:04:33 > 0:04:36- He says...- I don't care what he says! Mr Burgess?
0:04:36 > 0:04:37BURGESS CAWS
0:04:37 > 0:04:39- We need a new act for the Freedom Show.- Right, sir!
0:04:39 > 0:04:41You two come with me.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- Not you two! You two!- Right, sir.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48If we let that disastrous duo perform, the audience will riot.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51Even you can play the banjo better than that, Frank.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53- I've never played the banjo before in my life, sir!- Exactly.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55But sir, if we don't let them play, we'll be
0:04:55 > 0:04:57an act short for the Freedom Show.
0:04:57 > 0:04:58I just need more time, sir.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00By the time you call them onto stage,
0:05:00 > 0:05:03I'll have them knocked into shape. You have my word.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Hmm, I'd rather you knocked them into the canal,
0:05:05 > 0:05:07but we haven't got much choice. All right, you've got
0:05:07 > 0:05:11until the final act to get that band in tune and on time.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13- How do I look? - BOTH: Divine, sir.
0:05:13 > 0:05:17Thank you very much. It's show time! Oh, yes!
0:05:18 > 0:05:22MAN MUMBLES INTRODUCTION
0:05:26 > 0:05:28CHEERING
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Hello!
0:05:42 > 0:05:43Who's the Governor?
0:05:43 > 0:05:45AUDIENCE: You're the Governor!
0:05:45 > 0:05:49Oh, welcome, jailers and jailbirds, to another Freedom Show,
0:05:49 > 0:05:52where we've got three fantastic performing prisoner acts
0:05:52 > 0:05:54and another one.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56THEY PLAY OUT OF TUNE FOLK MUSIC
0:05:56 > 0:05:59HE MUMBLES LYRICS
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Jailers and jailbirds, it's great to have you here.
0:06:03 > 0:06:07Let's crack on now with our first performing prisoner act.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09A wonderful act, and, like all of the acts
0:06:09 > 0:06:11that come on The Slammer, don't try it at home, will you?
0:06:11 > 0:06:13These are professionals.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16He's a professional doing five years, or could it be more?
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Let's welcome Fluteman Gabor!
0:06:19 > 0:06:22CHEERING
0:06:29 > 0:06:33HE PLAYS TUNE
0:06:38 > 0:06:41AUDIENCE: Oooh!
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Uh!
0:06:52 > 0:06:53AUDIENCE: Urgh!
0:06:57 > 0:07:00HE PLAYS TUNE
0:07:00 > 0:07:02CHEERING
0:07:06 > 0:07:07HE PLAYS NOTE
0:07:07 > 0:07:09LAUGHTER
0:07:09 > 0:07:10HE PLAYS NOTE
0:07:11 > 0:07:13HE PLAYS NOTE
0:07:13 > 0:07:14HE PLAYS TWO NOTES TOGETHER
0:07:14 > 0:07:16LAUGHTER
0:07:16 > 0:07:18HE PLAYS TUNE
0:07:21 > 0:07:24CHEERING
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Ah!
0:07:28 > 0:07:30AUDIENCE: Urgh!
0:07:30 > 0:07:33HE PLAYS SHARP NOTES
0:07:44 > 0:07:47HE PLAYS HARMONY
0:07:48 > 0:07:51CHEERING
0:07:54 > 0:07:59HE PLAYS "EINE KLEINE NACHTMUSIK - ALLEGRO" BY MOZART
0:07:59 > 0:08:01CHEERING
0:08:07 > 0:08:10CHEERING
0:08:20 > 0:08:24HE PLAYS TUNE
0:08:24 > 0:08:25HE PLAYS HIGH NOTE
0:08:26 > 0:08:28HE PLAYS HIGH NOTE
0:08:29 > 0:08:30HE PLAYS HIGH NOTE
0:08:34 > 0:08:36LAUGHTER
0:08:44 > 0:08:49HE PLAYS "ODE TO JOY"
0:08:51 > 0:08:53CHEERING
0:09:01 > 0:09:05CHEERING
0:09:10 > 0:09:12Fluteman Gabor there, marvellous!
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Hey, and, jailers and jailbirds, don't let me
0:09:14 > 0:09:18catch you putting recorders... or sticking a recorder up your nose!
0:09:18 > 0:09:20You'll end up playing Colonel Bogey! Urgh!
0:09:20 > 0:09:22AUDIENCE: Urgh!
0:09:22 > 0:09:24But, what did you think of Fluteman Gabor?
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Let's find out with a man who likes to tell everyone to pipe down,
0:09:27 > 0:09:28Mr Burgess.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Right then, Miss. Fluteman Gabor.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32I thought it was amazing and mind-blowing,
0:09:32 > 0:09:34because I've never seen anything like it.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36You're a quick talker, aren't you?
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Your views, Madam, on Fluteman Gabor?
0:09:38 > 0:09:40I thought he was amazingly epic.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43One final word. Sum that act up for me, sir.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46- Weird.- Weird.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48- A cool weird.- A cool...
0:09:48 > 0:09:52Weird. A sort of cool weird, sir.
0:09:52 > 0:09:53LAUGHTER
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Fluteman Gabor, will he be going free? You'll decide.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58THEY PLAY FOLK MUSIC
0:09:58 > 0:10:00THEY MUMBLE LYRICS
0:10:00 > 0:10:03# A long time ago... #
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Not bad, actually.
0:10:05 > 0:10:06HE BURPS
0:10:08 > 0:10:09Cheese and pickle.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13Serving 12 years in The Slammer for legging it
0:10:13 > 0:10:15from the scene of a crime.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17You'll see why, when you welcome,
0:10:17 > 0:10:20jailers and jailbirds, Rhythmic Glow!
0:10:20 > 0:10:23CHEERING
0:10:28 > 0:10:30# Yellow diamonds in the light
0:10:30 > 0:10:35# Now we're standing side by side
0:10:35 > 0:10:39# As your shadow crosses mine
0:10:39 > 0:10:44# What it takes to come alive
0:10:46 > 0:10:48# It's the way I'm feeling
0:10:48 > 0:10:53# I just can't deny
0:10:53 > 0:10:56# But I've got to let it go
0:10:57 > 0:11:01# We found love in a hopeless place
0:11:01 > 0:11:05# We found love in a hopeless place
0:11:05 > 0:11:09# We found love in a hopeless place
0:11:09 > 0:11:13# We found love in a hopeless place
0:11:35 > 0:11:39# We found love in a hopeless place
0:11:39 > 0:11:42# We found love in a hopeless place
0:11:46 > 0:11:50# Yellow diamonds in the light
0:11:50 > 0:11:54# Now we're standing side by side
0:11:54 > 0:11:57# As your shadow crosses mine
0:12:01 > 0:12:04# We found love in a hopeless place
0:12:05 > 0:12:08# We found love in a hopeless place
0:12:31 > 0:12:36# We found love in a hopeless place. #
0:12:36 > 0:12:40CHEERING
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Come on! Whoa!
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Sensational act, there. Rhythmic Glow!
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Well, are they going to stay or are they going to go?
0:12:48 > 0:12:52Let's find out with Mr Legs Burgess.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Right, Rhythmic Glow. Legs 11! Old bingo expression there.
0:12:55 > 0:12:56What about you, sir?
0:12:56 > 0:12:59I think they were really good, because they moved their feet
0:12:59 > 0:13:03faster than Cristiano Ronaldo, the football player.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Tell us all about Rhythmic Glow.
0:13:05 > 0:13:09I think it was outstanding and I really liked how they danced
0:13:09 > 0:13:11and I liked the song. I think it was amazing.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15So, for one final word, sum Rhythmic Glow up for me. Miss.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17- Exquisite.- Exquisite, sir!
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Lovely, ma'am.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Now, my performing felon fans, the act you love to hate,
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Solitary Confinement!
0:13:24 > 0:13:27AUDIENCE BOOS
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Yes, a chance for a performing prisoner to have a go.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36If they do well, we give them a little treat.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38We can't let them go, they're far too naughty.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40And, if they don't do well, if they get the thumbs down,
0:13:40 > 0:13:42it's a cruel and unusual punishment.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45Well, today's treat is a nice photograph of the
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Great Pyramid in Egypt called the Pyramid at Cheops.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51Yeah, the Great Pyramid of Cheops. A wonderful thing, very historical.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53And, if they don't do well, Mr Burgess?
0:13:53 > 0:13:56- Sir!- What is today's cruel and unusual punishment?
0:13:56 > 0:14:00Today, sir, it's the old sack and porridge routine, sir!
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Oh, the old sack and porridge! Nobody wants that!
0:14:02 > 0:14:05I do, I do! We need a judge, though, Mr Burgess.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07We do indeed, sir. Got my eye on this young man here.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10- Do you want to come and judge for us, sir?- Yes.- Right, up you come.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Give him a round of applause, please!
0:14:12 > 0:14:14CHEERING
0:14:14 > 0:14:18- Your name?- Roman.- Roman! Marvellous.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20- The wig of justice there. - The wig of justice, Mr Burgess.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23You will decide, Roman, after we have seen today's
0:14:23 > 0:14:27Solitary Confinement act called Bad Clarinet!
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Right...
0:14:30 > 0:14:32AUDIENCE BOOS
0:14:36 > 0:14:39AUDIENCE BOOS
0:14:42 > 0:14:45SHE PLAYS TUNE ON CLARINET
0:14:45 > 0:14:48AUDIENCE BOOS
0:14:52 > 0:14:54AUDIENCE BOOS
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Stop it, stop it. There we are.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Go on, there we are.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01All right, well, there we are.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05That's what you call a solitary confinement act.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Now it's time for Judge Roman to decide.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12Remember, thumbs up, it's a photo of the pyramid at Cheops.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15Thumbs down, it's the sack and the plop, plop, plops.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19Ready? Your time starts now.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Is it up or down? Ooooh....
0:15:23 > 0:15:25AUDIENCE: Oooh...
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Oh!
0:15:28 > 0:15:32Your act was weak and sloppy so, for you, it's...
0:15:32 > 0:15:36- AUDIENCE:- Plop, plop, plop, plop, plop, ploppy!
0:15:36 > 0:15:37Yeah! Come on!
0:15:37 > 0:15:43- AUDIENCE:- Sloppy ploppy! Sloppy ploppy! Sloppy ploppy!
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Sloppy ploppy! Sloppy ploppy!
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Sir, sir...
0:15:48 > 0:15:52Sir, sir! Pull yourself together, sir!
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Sorry, there we are.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57Take her away to the cells and solitary confinement!
0:15:57 > 0:15:58Ha ha ha!
0:15:58 > 0:16:00AUDIENCE BOOS
0:16:00 > 0:16:03And give a big hand to our judge, Mr Judge Roman, please! Thank you.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05CHEERING
0:16:05 > 0:16:07- Mr Burgess.- Sir!
0:16:07 > 0:16:10- Continue with the Freedom Show.- Sir!
0:16:10 > 0:16:11Oh, marvellous.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14There's nothing like a bit of a sloppy ploppy porridge
0:16:14 > 0:16:18in a Freedom Show to get you going! I love it!
0:16:18 > 0:16:22Right, so we've got the accordion and we've got the banjo.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Now, we've just got to try the singing. What about...
0:16:25 > 0:16:27# Hadn't have been for Cotton-eyed Joe
0:16:27 > 0:16:28# I'd been married a long time ago
0:16:28 > 0:16:30# Where did you come from? Where did you go?
0:16:30 > 0:16:32# Where did you come from, Cotton-eyed Joe?
0:16:32 > 0:16:35HE MUMBLES TO TUNE
0:16:39 > 0:16:40He said...
0:16:40 > 0:16:44I know what he said, Mickey! But nobody else will!
0:16:44 > 0:16:48On now to our next performing prisoner act. Very, very unusual.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50The long and the short of it,
0:16:50 > 0:16:53serving seven and a half years in The Slammer
0:16:53 > 0:16:56for pulling strings in high places,
0:16:56 > 0:16:58it is the act known as Marionette!
0:16:58 > 0:17:01CHEERING
0:17:05 > 0:17:06Hello, hey!
0:17:08 > 0:17:09CHEERING
0:17:09 > 0:17:11MUSIC: "PINOCCHIO" BY PIN-OCCHIO
0:17:14 > 0:17:16# Pinocchio... #
0:17:20 > 0:17:22AUDIENCE CLAPS ALONG
0:17:32 > 0:17:35CHEERING
0:17:35 > 0:17:36# Pinocchio
0:18:02 > 0:18:03# Pinocchio... #
0:18:03 > 0:18:05LAUGHTER
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Hey! Ya! Ya! Woo!
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Woo! Woo!
0:18:33 > 0:18:37CHEERING
0:18:37 > 0:18:38# Pinocchio
0:18:52 > 0:18:54# Pinocchio... #
0:19:04 > 0:19:06SNIPPING
0:19:06 > 0:19:08# Pinocchio... #
0:19:09 > 0:19:11CHEERING
0:19:19 > 0:19:23There they are! Come on! Wow!
0:19:23 > 0:19:27Let's hear it for the fantastic act, the Marionette,
0:19:27 > 0:19:30ladies and gentlemen, jailers and jailbirds!
0:19:30 > 0:19:32CHEERING
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Wow, Marionette!
0:19:35 > 0:19:37I've never seen a puppet act like that before, have you?
0:19:37 > 0:19:39You couldn't see the strings, could you?
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Hey, what did you think about it?
0:19:41 > 0:19:42Let's find out from the man
0:19:42 > 0:19:45who pulls all the strings in the Slammer, Mr Burgess.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47- Thoughts?- It's him.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50What do you mean, it's him? I'm asking you.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53- Oh!- Don't look so panicked.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Come on, hurry up! Right, thoughts?
0:19:56 > 0:20:00I thought it was funny, because when the tall man was
0:20:00 > 0:20:03pulling the puppet around, he went everywhere.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- Is that a good thing or a bad thing? - Both.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09Well, the long and the short of it there with the Marionette act.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11What did you think?
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Well, it looked really cool, like all the jumps
0:20:14 > 0:20:16and it looked really flexible.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19And, for one final word, sum Marionette up for me, Miss.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Epic!
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Yeah, epic, sir.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Well, your views on Marionette.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27He could be going free with his little pal.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29He could step over the walls, couldn't he? Ha!
0:20:29 > 0:20:34Mr Burgess, could you go and see if the final act are ready yet, please?
0:20:34 > 0:20:36- Certainly, sir.- Thank you very much.
0:20:36 > 0:20:40Yes, on to our final performing prisoner act, jailers and jailbirds.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42# Cotton-eyed Joe... #
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Right, come on, you lot, let's be having you!
0:20:45 > 0:20:46But it's no use, Mr Burgess.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49We've got the accordion and the banjo in tune,
0:20:49 > 0:20:53but I still can't make out their mumbles when they sing!
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Hey, why don't you sing, Miss Meadows?
0:20:55 > 0:20:57I don't know about that!
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Sounds like a good idea. Get moving! Off you go, go on!
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Right, quick march! Move, move!
0:21:03 > 0:21:07- So, jailers and jailbirds, it is time for your final act.- Sir?- Yes.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10- Excuse me, sir!- Yes?- Sorry.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13HE WHISPERS
0:21:13 > 0:21:15- Really?- Yes, sir.- Carry on. - Thank you, sir.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Jailers and jailbirds, will you please welcome,
0:21:18 > 0:21:22for one show only, Meadows, Mumble & Son!
0:21:22 > 0:21:25CHEERING
0:21:33 > 0:21:35MUSIC PLAYS
0:21:46 > 0:21:48# If it hadn't had been for Cotton-eyed Joe
0:21:48 > 0:21:49# I'd been married a long time ago
0:21:49 > 0:21:51# Where did you come from? Where did you go?
0:21:51 > 0:21:53# Where did you come from, Cotton-eyed Joe?
0:21:53 > 0:21:55# Hadn't had been for Cotton-eyed Joe
0:21:55 > 0:21:57# I'd been married a long time ago
0:21:57 > 0:21:59# Where did you come from? Where did you go?
0:21:59 > 0:22:01# Where did you come from, Cotton-eyed Joe?
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Wooo!
0:22:08 > 0:22:11# He came to town like a midwinter storm
0:22:11 > 0:22:15# He rode through the fields, so handsome and strong
0:22:15 > 0:22:18# His eyes was his tools and his smile was his gun
0:22:18 > 0:22:22# But all he had come for was having some fun
0:22:22 > 0:22:24# If it hadn't had been for Cotton-eyed Joe
0:22:24 > 0:22:26# I'd been married a long time ago
0:22:26 > 0:22:28# Where did you come from? Where did you go?
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Where did you come from, Cotton-eyed Joe?
0:22:30 > 0:22:31# If it hadn't had been for Cotton-eyed Joe
0:22:31 > 0:22:33# I'd been married a long time ago
0:22:33 > 0:22:35# Where did you come from? Where did you go?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37# Where did you come from, Cotton-eyed Joe? #
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Woo!
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Hey!
0:22:42 > 0:22:43Woo!
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Oh!
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Hey!
0:22:51 > 0:22:54# He brought disaster wherever he went
0:22:54 > 0:22:58# The hearts of the girls was to hell broken sent
0:22:58 > 0:23:02# They all ran away so nobody would know
0:23:02 > 0:23:05# And left only men cos of Cotton-eyed Joe
0:23:05 > 0:23:06# Oh
0:23:06 > 0:23:08# If it hadn't been for Cotton-eyed Joe
0:23:08 > 0:23:09# I'd been married a long time ago
0:23:09 > 0:23:11# Where did you come from? Where did you go?
0:23:11 > 0:23:13# Where did you come from, Cotton-eyed Joe?
0:23:13 > 0:23:15# If it hadn't been for Cotton-eyed Joe
0:23:15 > 0:23:17# I'd been married a long time ago
0:23:17 > 0:23:19# Where did you come from? Where did you go?
0:23:19 > 0:23:22# Where did you come from, Cotton-eyed Joe? #
0:23:22 > 0:23:24BANJO PLAYS
0:23:24 > 0:23:25Woo!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Here we go!
0:23:35 > 0:23:37# If it hadn't had been for Cotton-eyed Joe
0:23:37 > 0:23:38# I'd been married a long time ago
0:23:38 > 0:23:40# Where did you come from? Where did you go?
0:23:40 > 0:23:42# Where did you come from, Cotton-eyed Joe?
0:23:42 > 0:23:44# If it hadn't been for Cotton-eyed Joe
0:23:44 > 0:23:46# I'd been married a long time ago
0:23:46 > 0:23:48# Where did you come from? Where did you go?
0:23:48 > 0:23:50# Where did you come from, Cotton-eyed Joe? #
0:23:50 > 0:23:53CHEERING
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Come on, let's hear it for Meadows, Mumble & Son!
0:23:59 > 0:24:02CHEERING
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Well, will they be going free?
0:24:04 > 0:24:08Let's find out with Cotton-eye Frank Burgess! Yee-ha!
0:24:08 > 0:24:11- Yee-ha.- I think it was very good.
0:24:11 > 0:24:15They let a good sing-off and I think they should get free.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17- "They let a good sing-off"?- Yeah.
0:24:17 > 0:24:18What does that mean, exactly?
0:24:18 > 0:24:20I don't know.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Well, why are you saying it, sir?
0:24:22 > 0:24:25- I don't know.- Have you got no control over your mind, sir?
0:24:25 > 0:24:26I don't know.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27LAUGHTER
0:24:27 > 0:24:30- What do you know?- I don't know.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32A score out of ten, please.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34- Can I go beyond ten?- Yes.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36- 100.- Wow!
0:24:36 > 0:24:40One final word for Meadows, Mumble & Son. Miss?
0:24:40 > 0:24:41Energetic.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44Yeah. Fair dos. Energetic, sir.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Time to decide who goes free now, jailers and jailbirds.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50With Officer Meadows looking like she needs a shave there,
0:24:50 > 0:24:52let's welcome all the acts back onto the stage, please!
0:24:52 > 0:24:53Fluteman Gabor!
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Rhythmic Glow!
0:24:57 > 0:24:58Marionette!
0:24:58 > 0:25:02And Mumble & Son! With Meadows, of course.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04You will decide who goes free.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07The more noise you make, the higher the score.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09What did you think of a sensational act with more
0:25:09 > 0:25:11recorders than I've had hot dinners?
0:25:11 > 0:25:12Not strictly true.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15Will you welcome Fluteman Gabor!
0:25:15 > 0:25:17CHEERING
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Come on. Come on.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Good score for Fluteman Gabor.
0:25:24 > 0:25:2776. Well, I've never seen an act like this lot before.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30They kept us all aglow. Will they be going?
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Please welcome Rhythmic Glow!
0:25:33 > 0:25:35CHEERING
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Come on. Wow!
0:25:40 > 0:25:43There they are. More like legs 11 there.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Look at that, 87.7. Never mind 11.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Next act, another crazy act.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Marionette is an old word for a puppet.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54I've never seen a puppet act like this before. Marionette!
0:25:54 > 0:25:56CHEERING
0:25:56 > 0:25:57Oh!
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Oh, just 76.5.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05They're in second place.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08Still in the lead, it's Rhythmic Glow.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Can they be knocked from their perch by this act?
0:26:10 > 0:26:15Helped with Officer Meadows, it was Meadows, Mumble & Son!
0:26:15 > 0:26:17CHEERING
0:26:17 > 0:26:18Oh!
0:26:18 > 0:26:20I don't believe it!
0:26:20 > 0:26:22I don't believe it!
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Oh, with a sensational score,
0:26:24 > 0:26:27going free, 94.9,
0:26:27 > 0:26:29it's Mumble & Son with Meadows!
0:26:29 > 0:26:31CHEERING
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Go on. You're free to go.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Give them a big cheer. They're free to go!
0:26:37 > 0:26:39CHEERING
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Well, jailers and jailbirds, it means that the others,
0:26:42 > 0:26:43you're staying for tea.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Yeah. And you know what we have for tea, don't we, eh?
0:26:46 > 0:26:48- AUDIENCE:- Sloppy, ploppy porridge!
0:26:48 > 0:26:52Mr Burgess, I do not want to hear you say that for tea
0:26:52 > 0:26:54it's sloppy, ploppy porridge.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56- What? You don't want to hear it. - I don't want to hear it!
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Right, well, stick your fingers in your ears, sir.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01- What's for tea? - Sloppy, ploppy porridge!
0:27:01 > 0:27:03- I can't hear you. - Excellent, job done.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Right, you lot, off you go.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Give a big cheer. Go on, off you go.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Go on.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13Marionette, Rhythmic Glow and, of course,
0:27:13 > 0:27:16Fluteman Gabor going back to their cells and enjoying tea.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19Hope you've enjoyed the Freedom Show, jailers and jailbirds.
0:27:19 > 0:27:23Just one thing. Remember, if you can't sing, dance or rhyme...
0:27:23 > 0:27:25- AUDIENCE:- Don't do the crime!
0:27:25 > 0:27:27And come and see us again soon
0:27:27 > 0:27:29here in The Slammer for more fun on the Freedom Show!
0:27:29 > 0:27:32Bye-bye, jailers and jailbirds! Bye-bye!
0:27:32 > 0:27:34CHEERING
0:27:55 > 0:27:57# It's the only way to ever leave The Slammer! #