0:00:02 > 0:00:04Dear Auntie Doris, it's been a day full of excitement
0:00:04 > 0:00:06and surprises - just the kind of day I hate.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08There was lots of danger on today's Freedom Show.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10Dangerous tunes...
0:00:11 > 0:00:12dangerous goons...
0:00:14 > 0:00:16and Dangerous Dave...
0:00:17 > 0:00:19I remain your loyal servant...
0:00:19 > 0:00:21GET OFF MY BISCUITS!
0:00:21 > 0:00:23Yours faithfully,
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Francis M Burgess,
0:00:26 > 0:00:27GSM.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31SIREN
0:00:31 > 0:00:36# You've been found guilty of a howling show-biz crime
0:00:36 > 0:00:38# So, welcome to The Slammer
0:00:38 > 0:00:41# Where you're going to spend your time
0:00:41 > 0:00:45# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste
0:00:45 > 0:00:47# Performing to the limit
0:00:47 > 0:00:50# To try to get released
0:00:50 > 0:00:51# So, go fetch the audience
0:00:51 > 0:00:53# And bring them to The Slammer
0:00:53 > 0:00:55# And polish up your act
0:00:55 > 0:00:58# With a bit of glitz and glamour
0:00:58 > 0:01:00# Your fate is in their hands,
0:01:00 > 0:01:02# So make them cheer and clamour
0:01:02 > 0:01:05# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer
0:01:05 > 0:01:07- #- Leave The Slammer
0:01:07 > 0:01:09# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer. #
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Who's the Tyrannosaur?
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Oh, you're the Tyrannosaur! Grr!
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Gov...
0:01:19 > 0:01:21What is it, Frank? Can't you see I'm busy?
0:01:21 > 0:01:22Busy, sir?
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Yes, I'm preparing our strategy
0:01:24 > 0:01:26in case of a dinosaur apocalypse.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28It could happen, Frank. I've seen films.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30I'm sure you have, sir.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Well, forgive me for interrupting your detailed research,
0:01:32 > 0:01:35but there's a lady outside demanding to see the person in charge, sir.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Well, show her in. I'm prepared for anything!
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Sir! Madam, would you like to step this way?
0:01:41 > 0:01:43I'm looking for the person in charge.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45- Well, the person in charge is right here!- Where?
0:01:45 > 0:01:47- Here!- I can't see her.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49What do you mean, "her"?
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Are you hard of hearing or something?
0:01:51 > 0:01:54I'm looking for the Governor, Holly Meadows.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57The Governor!? Holly Meadows!?
0:01:57 > 0:01:58Mum!
0:01:58 > 0:02:01What a lovely surprise!
0:02:01 > 0:02:02Holly, darling.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05What's this buffoon doing behind your desk?
0:02:05 > 0:02:07If by "buffoon" you mean me,
0:02:07 > 0:02:08and people usually do,
0:02:08 > 0:02:11I think you'll find the sign on the door
0:02:11 > 0:02:13clearly reads "Governor," which is...
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Me!
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Governor Meadows.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Thanks for cleaning my desk, Officer Ted.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22- Officer Ted!?- Has he got a problem, Holly?
0:02:22 > 0:02:24He repeats everything. I've never heard anything like it!
0:02:24 > 0:02:26I've never heard anything like it!
0:02:26 > 0:02:27He's on work experience.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Work experience!?
0:02:29 > 0:02:30See what I mean?
0:02:30 > 0:02:33Mum, just pop down to the canteen, would you?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35I just need to have a private word with, erm...
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Officer Ted here.
0:02:37 > 0:02:38I don't blame you.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Give that layabout a piece of your mind.
0:02:40 > 0:02:41He needs it!
0:02:46 > 0:02:48I can explain...
0:02:48 > 0:02:49Explain!?
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Yeah, sir, you really do have to stop doing that.
0:02:52 > 0:02:53Mum's got a point.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Ooh!
0:02:55 > 0:02:56So, you see, sir,
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Mum always had really high expectations for me.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01When I came top of my class in the academy,
0:03:01 > 0:03:02she assumed I'd be in charge.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04And I...well, let her.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Sorry, sir.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Don't you mean "Officer Ted"?
0:03:08 > 0:03:10She'll be so disappointed if she finds out.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Couldn't you play along just for today, of course?
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Please?
0:03:15 > 0:03:16Oh, all right then!
0:03:16 > 0:03:19I'm just too soft-hearted, me.
0:03:19 > 0:03:20But on one condition.
0:03:20 > 0:03:21Anything!
0:03:21 > 0:03:24You have to tell Mr Burgess he has to call you...
0:03:24 > 0:03:26"Ma'am."
0:03:26 > 0:03:28I can't wait to see his face.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Oh, yes, Ma'am! Ha-ha.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Can you just remind me again, sir,
0:03:36 > 0:03:37why we're doing this?
0:03:37 > 0:03:39To support Officer Meadows, Frank!
0:03:39 > 0:03:40Because she's our friend!
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Come on! Put some effort into it.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Scrub a dub dub, Officers!
0:03:45 > 0:03:46And remember...
0:03:46 > 0:03:49I'll be checking in every corner!
0:03:52 > 0:03:54I'm really sorry about all this!
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Isn't it about time The Governor inspected today's Freedom Show Acts?
0:03:57 > 0:03:58Oh, yes, you'd better go, sir.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Oh, except I'm not the Governor.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02You are.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Oh, right, yes.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05Which way are we going?
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Oh, erm, this way,
0:04:08 > 0:04:10"Ma'am".
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Not you, Ted!
0:04:12 > 0:04:15You'll have to scrub twice as hard now there's only one of you!
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Come on. Chop chop!
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Mwahahaha!
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Chop chop you in a minute.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23I beg your pardon?
0:04:23 > 0:04:26I didn't say anything. I'm just a...
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Presenting today's acts...
0:04:33 > 0:04:34Ma'am!
0:04:34 > 0:04:36First up, Rola Rola.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Yes. Very good.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40What exactly am I inspecting them for?
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Well, so, you know who you'll be introducing
0:04:43 > 0:04:44on the Freedom Show, of course.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Such as Fear Of The Unknown, here.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Right, yes.
0:04:48 > 0:04:49Wait! What?
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Well, as you well know,
0:04:51 > 0:04:53the Governor always presents The Freedom Show,
0:04:53 > 0:04:58and after all, you are the Governor, aren't you, Ma'am?
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Act three, Dangerous Dave.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02I can't... I mean, I never...
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Something wrong, pet?
0:05:04 > 0:05:08Oh, no. No, I just, erm...
0:05:08 > 0:05:10I just had a brainwave.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13I think it would be a fantastic training exercise
0:05:13 > 0:05:17if I let Officer Ted host the Freedom Show!
0:05:17 > 0:05:18Just this once, of course!
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Do you really think young Ted is up to it?
0:05:21 > 0:05:23I'm sure he can muddle through.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Yes, he usually does.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28In that case, I shan't introduce you to Slackliners.
0:05:28 > 0:05:29Off you go, lads. Hop it!
0:05:29 > 0:05:30This way.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Right. Let's get this over with and get your mother out of here!
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Well, at least, she can't cause any more trouble!
0:05:38 > 0:05:40I'll be sat in the front row,
0:05:40 > 0:05:42watching you like a hawk, Ted!
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Don't let my daughter down.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49How do I look?
0:05:49 > 0:05:50BOTH: Divine, sir.
0:05:50 > 0:05:51How do you feel?
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Terrified, Frank.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54It's Showtime!
0:05:58 > 0:06:00'Ladies and gentlemen.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01'Welcome to HMP Slammer.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04'Where you decide which prisoner is to be released.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06'Now, please, welcome your host.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08'He's scrubbed all the floors,
0:06:08 > 0:06:10'he's done all his chores,
0:06:10 > 0:06:11'now, he wants your applause,
0:06:11 > 0:06:14'it's the Governor...'
0:06:14 > 0:06:18WILD CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Who's the Governor?
0:06:31 > 0:06:34AUDIENCE: You're the Governor!
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Why are they all saying that?
0:06:36 > 0:06:37You're the Governor, pet!
0:06:37 > 0:06:39It's all part of the show, Mum!
0:06:39 > 0:06:40We've to give him a chance.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Now, turn around.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Are you up for this jailers and jailbirds, yes?
0:06:46 > 0:06:47AUDIENCE: Yes!!
0:06:49 > 0:06:53Right. Well, let's crack on with our very first cracking act.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57Now, they are originally from Spain and they do amazing things.
0:06:57 > 0:06:58So, as they're from Spain,
0:06:58 > 0:07:02let's say, "Hola, hola" to Rola Rola!
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Fantastic! Will they be going free?
0:09:27 > 0:09:31Will it be hola or adios with Hola Hola.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Let's say hola to Mr Burgess.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Don't ask him, ask Holly!
0:09:36 > 0:09:39We should let Mr Burgess have a go, Mum.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41It's the only way he'll learn.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Yes, thank very much. If that's all right with you.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Oh, yes, over to Mr Burgess.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Yes, thank you.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Right, then! Obviously, don't try any of that at home yourself,
0:09:52 > 0:09:54otherwise you might come a cropper.
0:09:54 > 0:09:55Miss, what did you make of Rola Rola?
0:09:55 > 0:09:58Very, very, very, very talented.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01Madame, your views on Rola Rola?
0:10:01 > 0:10:02It looked so dangerous.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06At first, I thought it was asking for death when...
0:10:06 > 0:10:09- Ha-ha!- ..when he went up really high.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11I really couldn't look.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Oh, Madame, you need to take some deep breaths.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15One final word. Sum that act up for me, miss.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17- Slammericious!- Slammericious, sir!
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Well, there's your views on Rola Rola.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22On to the next performing prisoner act.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24It's a variety show, this,
0:10:24 > 0:10:25which means variety.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27This act are very, very different.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30So unusual I don't know how describe them
0:10:30 > 0:10:31because they're unknown.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34They're called Fear Of The Unknown!
0:12:06 > 0:12:08# Face the fear
0:12:10 > 0:12:13# Embrace the unknown
0:12:14 > 0:12:16# We're here
0:12:16 > 0:12:17# We're here
0:12:17 > 0:12:20# We're here with no fear
0:12:20 > 0:12:21# The fear,
0:12:21 > 0:12:22# the fear
0:12:22 > 0:12:25# the Fear Of The Unknown! #
0:13:39 > 0:13:40Bravo!
0:13:40 > 0:13:41Wow!
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Oh!
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Wow, Fear Of The Unknown
0:13:47 > 0:13:49and they sang, "face the fear."
0:13:49 > 0:13:51It's like facing Mr Burgess.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Fear Of The Unknown. Sir?
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Erm, well, I liked the dancing
0:13:56 > 0:13:58cos it was like, sudden.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01- So, it just sort of happened, Sir, like that?- Yeah.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03Fear Of The Unknown, what did you think?
0:14:03 > 0:14:05It was entertaining
0:14:05 > 0:14:06and it was really good.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09And for one final word on Fear Of The Unknown, Miss?
0:14:09 > 0:14:11- Amazing.- Amazing, SIR!
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Fear Of The Unknown, brilliant!
0:14:13 > 0:14:14Now to another fearful thing.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18The act that we call Solitary Confinement!
0:14:22 > 0:14:26A chance to give up performing prisoner a go on the stage.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27If they win... They're too naughty.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29We can't let these people out,
0:14:29 > 0:14:30but we give them a treat.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Today's treat's marvellous. They'll have a nice bath
0:14:32 > 0:14:34and they can play with some little rubber boats.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Isn't that lovely? Little rubber boats, yeah.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Lovely. I like that.
0:14:38 > 0:14:39But if they don't win,
0:14:39 > 0:14:41oh, they get the thumbs down.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43A cruel and unusual punishment, Mr Burgess?
0:14:43 > 0:14:46- SIR!- What is today's cruel and unusual punishment?
0:14:46 > 0:14:50Today, Sir, it's the old sack and porridge routine, sir.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Yes, stuffed in that sack and the porridge...
0:14:52 > 0:14:55We love it! First of all, we need a judge.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57- We do indeed, sir.- We always need a judge.
0:14:57 > 0:14:58Would you like to come up and be my judge?
0:14:58 > 0:15:00What about this young gentleman here?
0:15:00 > 0:15:02- Would you like to do it, sir?- He looks good.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Give him a hand of applause, please.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Hello, sir. You have a thumb, I can see.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Good. Mr Burgess...
0:15:09 > 0:15:11The wig of justice, sir.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13- Your name?- Durell.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14- Durell?- Yeah.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16You are now Justice Durell.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18You'll decide the fate of this performing prisoner
0:15:18 > 0:15:19that we call...
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Yo-yo Kevin!
0:15:21 > 0:15:26BOOS
0:15:50 > 0:15:54BOOS
0:15:57 > 0:16:01Is it any wonder we keep these acts in solitary confinement?
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Justice Durell, it's up to you to decide.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Remember it thumbs up,
0:16:05 > 0:16:07sat in a bath with the nice, floaty boats.
0:16:07 > 0:16:08Thumbs down,
0:16:08 > 0:16:11sat in the sack with the sloppy, ploppy oats.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13And your time starts now.
0:16:13 > 0:16:14What's it going to be?
0:16:14 > 0:16:17Ooh!
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Oh!!
0:16:19 > 0:16:22You're at was weak and sloppy, so for you it's...
0:16:22 > 0:16:25AUDIENCE: Plop, plop, plop, plop, ploppy!
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Let him have it. How many buckets?
0:16:27 > 0:16:29One or two? Both, yes? Yes, yes!
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Sloppy! Ploppy!
0:16:31 > 0:16:37EVERYONE: Sloppy, ploppy, Sloppy, ploppy! Sloppy, ploppy!
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Sir!
0:16:39 > 0:16:40Oh, oh. I'm sorry.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Oh, take him back to his cell.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45There we are.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48And give a big, cheering round of applause to Justice Durell
0:16:48 > 0:16:50for doing a marvellous job. There we are.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55I can't get enough of that sloppy, ploppy stuff.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57- Mr Burgess?- Sir?
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Continue please with the Freedom Show.
0:16:59 > 0:17:00Sir!
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Now, a marvellous act for you. You like danger?
0:17:03 > 0:17:05You ain't seen nothing like this act.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08He's serving 7 1/2 years in The Slammer for being dangerous.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10It's Dangerous Dave!
0:17:18 > 0:17:21Hello and welcome to the world's most spectacular,
0:17:21 > 0:17:25awesome and dangerous stunt performance...
0:17:25 > 0:17:27ever.
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Contained within this box,
0:17:28 > 0:17:30for the sake of public safety,
0:17:30 > 0:17:32is none other than the daring,
0:17:32 > 0:17:34the dazzling, that dastardly...
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Dangerous Dave!
0:17:37 > 0:17:41I shall now lift the lid of the box!
0:17:41 > 0:17:45DRUM ROLL
0:17:46 > 0:17:48I now ask you to put your hands together.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Clap, go mad, go wild.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Here he is! The man of the moment.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54It is Dangerous Dave!
0:17:57 > 0:17:59- IN A HIGH PITCHED VOICE: - Hello, everybody.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01AUDIENCE: Hello, Dangerous Dave!
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Hello.
0:18:03 > 0:18:04Dave's the name
0:18:04 > 0:18:07and danger's the game.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09So, Dave, what are you going to do for us?
0:18:09 > 0:18:15Oh, well, I am going to climb the Slippery Pole of Peril
0:18:15 > 0:18:18and dive headfirst into
0:18:18 > 0:18:24the Food Mixer Of Dooooooom.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27Would that be this Food Mixer Of Doom, Dave?
0:18:27 > 0:18:29- That's the very one.- Right.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32- You go get your pole and I'll plug it in.- All right.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- Are you ready, Dave?- I'm ready!
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Are you ready, audience?
0:18:36 > 0:18:39AUDIENCE: Yes!
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Give a gander, The Slippery Pole Of Peril!
0:18:43 > 0:18:45There's the pole now.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Emerging from the box. Yes, I think...
0:18:47 > 0:18:51There he is. There's Dave and the at the bottom of his ascent.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54OK. I'm getting the food processor already for you, Dave.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56I'm at the top. I'm going to jump.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58That's it, Dave. Jump, jump.
0:18:58 > 0:18:59Jump, Dave!
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Aahh!!
0:19:03 > 0:19:05Oh, no! What...
0:19:11 > 0:19:13There's his head.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15- Got no body!- It's all right, Dave.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16There's your body.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18Don't worry. I can put it back together.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20I think I know how it goes.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23No, that's not it, is it?
0:19:23 > 0:19:24You'll be good as new.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Nooo-wooo!
0:19:26 > 0:19:29I'm going to tell my mummy.
0:19:31 > 0:19:32Dave?
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Yay!
0:19:36 > 0:19:39There you have it! Dangerous Dave!
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Dangerous Dave!
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Just one thing, remember these acts are professionals.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Do not mess around, any of you,
0:19:53 > 0:19:55with electrics or with food processors.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Very, very dangerous.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59But that act was called Dangerous Dave.
0:19:59 > 0:20:00Let's find out what you thought of it
0:20:00 > 0:20:03with fearless Frank Burgess, of course.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05The danger of Dave.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07It was really funny the way he climbed up the pole
0:20:07 > 0:20:09and his voice was funny, too.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Funny voices and climbing up poles,
0:20:11 > 0:20:13that's what you want to see?
0:20:13 > 0:20:14Yeah.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Now then, sir, what did you think of Dangerous Dave?
0:20:17 > 0:20:20It was the weirdest thing I had ever seen
0:20:20 > 0:20:22and it was really funny cos of his voice
0:20:22 > 0:20:25and the way he climbed up the pole.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Can you do an impression of his voice, sir?
0:20:27 > 0:20:30- IN A HIGH PITCHED VOICE: - Hello. My name is Dangerous Dave.
0:20:30 > 0:20:31Very good.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Final word. Sum that act up for me, sir.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Hilarious.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37All right. Hilarious.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Well, Dangerous Dave could be going free. Who knows?
0:20:40 > 0:20:43One more performing prisoner act to see, jailers and jailbirds.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Now, this act is very well balanced
0:20:45 > 0:20:48serving three years in the slammer,
0:20:48 > 0:20:51well, for slacking cos they are The Slackliners!
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Give them a big cheer, jailers and jailbirds.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42The Slackliners.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44My word! Whoa!
0:22:44 > 0:22:45Nothing slack about that.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47What did you think of that performance?
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Let's find out from the man who always walks the line,
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Mr Burgess.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55So, Slackliners, high-class quality entertainment
0:22:55 > 0:22:58or just some lads jumping about on a freight strap?
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Well, I think they wobbled a little now and then,
0:23:00 > 0:23:03but otherwise it was better than my mum's Sunday dinner
0:23:03 > 0:23:06because they had amazing balance and tremendous tricks.
0:23:06 > 0:23:07Better than your mum's Sunday dinner?
0:23:07 > 0:23:08Yeah.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11What did you think of the Slackliners, sir?
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Well, I thought the they were really, really good.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16The way they did all the backflips, the front flips...
0:23:16 > 0:23:18It was slammerific!
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Whoa!
0:23:20 > 0:23:21And for final word.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Sum that act up for me, Miss.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Reem!
0:23:25 > 0:23:26Reem?
0:23:26 > 0:23:29All right. Reem, sir!
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Well now, jailers and jailbirds,
0:23:31 > 0:23:32it's time to decide who goes free
0:23:32 > 0:23:34from the Freedom Show with this,
0:23:34 > 0:23:35the Clap-o-meter!
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Holly! What are you doing?
0:23:37 > 0:23:40You should be in charge of the voting!
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Hey, excuse me! She's in charge of the Clap-o-meter.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46It's a very important job. She has to, you know, the...
0:23:46 > 0:23:48What is it you do exactly?
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Oh, I've had enough of this!
0:23:50 > 0:23:51Mum,
0:23:51 > 0:23:53I'm not the Governor. He is.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56Well, that's what I've been trying to tell you.
0:23:56 > 0:23:57Look. Who's The Governor?
0:23:57 > 0:24:00AUDIENCE: You're the Governor!
0:24:00 > 0:24:01See!
0:24:01 > 0:24:03What?
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Then...
0:24:05 > 0:24:07you're not the most important person in The Slammer?
0:24:07 > 0:24:10No! I'm the least important!
0:24:10 > 0:24:13But you know what? I'm happy here.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15You're happy?
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Well, if you're happy...
0:24:18 > 0:24:20that's all I've ever wanted!
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Really?
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Of course!
0:24:23 > 0:24:25AUDIENCE: Ahh!
0:24:25 > 0:24:27I'm your mum!
0:24:27 > 0:24:30If we're quite done here, is there any chance we can finish this show
0:24:30 > 0:24:32before I have to go and be sick?
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Yes. Sorry, Mr Burgess!
0:24:34 > 0:24:35- Right. Mr Burgess.- Sir?
0:24:35 > 0:24:36Continue with the Freedom Show
0:24:36 > 0:24:38- Clap-o-meter section of the show. - Ah!
0:24:38 > 0:24:40Now, jailers and jailbirds,
0:24:40 > 0:24:42you'll be deciding who goes free as I was saying
0:24:42 > 0:24:44before I was interrupted,
0:24:44 > 0:24:46so let's welcome them all back onto the stage.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49Rola Rola...
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Fear Of The Unknown...
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Dangerous Dave...
0:24:56 > 0:24:59And Slackliners...
0:24:59 > 0:25:01My word!
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Lots of performing prisoners there?
0:25:03 > 0:25:04Who's going to go free?
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Remember, the more noise you make, the higher the score.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Well, they were absolutely brilliant.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11They were death-defying.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13They were balanced. Rola Rola!
0:25:13 > 0:25:18AUDIENCE CLAPS
0:25:21 > 0:25:23A good score. Yes, very good. 73.5.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Now, a very, very colourful act indeed.
0:25:28 > 0:25:29Very unusual.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32What did you make of Fear Of The Unknown?
0:25:32 > 0:25:38AUDIENCE CLAPS
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Almost off the scale 97.6.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Scorching into the lead of Fear Of The Unknown.
0:25:46 > 0:25:47A really high score.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Well, they're in pole position.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51Can they be knocked off by this man?
0:25:51 > 0:25:52He took some risks with his little friend.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54It's Dangerous Dave!
0:25:55 > 0:26:01AUDIENCE CLAPS
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Again, these are great scores. 72.4.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08Well, only one act left.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10They were the Slackliners!
0:26:10 > 0:26:14AUDIENCE CLAPS
0:26:17 > 0:26:20Well, again brilliant scores. 77.5.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22That second position,
0:26:22 > 0:26:25but it means going free with a tremendous score of 97.6,
0:26:25 > 0:26:27it's Fear Of The Unknown!
0:26:27 > 0:26:28Off you go.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Go, go.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Go, go, go!
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Give them a big cheer, jailers and jailbirds.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Fear Of The Unknown.
0:26:37 > 0:26:38Go free.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41Well, the rest of you...
0:26:41 > 0:26:43The good news is you're staying for tea.
0:26:43 > 0:26:47Unfortunately, we know what we get for tea in The Slammer.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49And Mr Burgess, I bet it begins with P.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51P, sir, well, that could be lots of things.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54So, you've got pastry, paella, pasta, pastis, pastrami,
0:26:54 > 0:26:55prawns, pepperoni, peas, pot of peas,
0:26:55 > 0:26:57peas pudding, peas porridge, pureed potatoes,
0:26:57 > 0:27:00pancetta parcels, Parmesan pockets, pickled partridge,
0:27:00 > 0:27:02parsnip preserves, pepper pork pies, pecan poffertjes,
0:27:02 > 0:27:04peanut praline, pineapple puffs,
0:27:04 > 0:27:07Portuguese pudding, Persian porridge and Peruvian profiteroles, sir!
0:27:07 > 0:27:08So, what is it?
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Porridge, sir, of the sloppy, ploppy variety.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13Oh, take them away, jailers and jailbirds.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Give them all a big hand.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18Rola Rola, Dangerous Dave and Slackliners.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21Four tremendous acts here on the Freedom Show.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Join us again soon for more fun.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26Bye-bye from The Slammer!
0:27:47 > 0:27:50# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:27:52 > 0:27:55I'm glad you're happy dear, pet.
0:27:55 > 0:27:56Thanks, Mum.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59You don't mind not being in charge?
0:27:59 > 0:28:00Give me a year!
0:28:01 > 0:28:04Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:28:04 > 0:28:06That's my girl!