0:00:02 > 0:00:04To Big Mum Number One at mummymummymum.com
0:00:04 > 0:00:06What a colourful day it's been at The Slammer.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08We've had colourful costumes...
0:00:08 > 0:00:09CHEERING
0:00:09 > 0:00:11..colourful comedy...
0:00:11 > 0:00:12BOING
0:00:12 > 0:00:16..and thanks to Mr Burgess, even a bit of colourful language.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18"I'm The Governor and when I sing, I belch."
0:00:18 > 0:00:21It's all helped brighten this place up a bit!
0:00:21 > 0:00:23It started like this.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27KLAXON SOUNDS
0:00:27 > 0:00:31# You've been found guilty of a howling show-biz crime
0:00:31 > 0:00:34# So, welcome to The Slammer
0:00:34 > 0:00:36# Where you're going to spend your time
0:00:36 > 0:00:40# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste
0:00:40 > 0:00:43# Performing to the limit
0:00:43 > 0:00:45# To try to get released
0:00:45 > 0:00:47# So, go fetch the audience
0:00:47 > 0:00:49# And bring them to The Slammer
0:00:49 > 0:00:52# And polish up your act
0:00:52 > 0:00:54# With a bit of glitz and glamour
0:00:54 > 0:00:56- # Your fate is in their hands... - Ooh-Arr!
0:00:56 > 0:00:58# So make them cheer and clamour
0:00:58 > 0:01:01# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer
0:01:01 > 0:01:03# The Slammer
0:01:03 > 0:01:06# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer. #
0:01:10 > 0:01:11Oh, deary me.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Look at the state of that.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16- You wanted to see me, sir? - Ah, yeah, yeah, Mr Burgess.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Meadow's baked a tray of doughnuts for the inmates,
0:01:18 > 0:01:21- but fortunately, I checked. - Why, what's wrong with them, sir?
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Well, they are faulty, Frank. Full of holes.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26I don't think the prisoners'll mind about that at all.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29Oh, no, no, you can't serve broken doughnuts, Frank. Wouldn't be right.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31- I'll get Meadows to take them... - No, no, no,
0:01:31 > 0:01:34We don't want to hurt her feelings. I'll deal with them later.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36- All right, maybe I could help you out, sir.- No.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39This is the sort of sacrifice only a governor can make.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Hm, I see.
0:01:41 > 0:01:42Well, seeing as I'm here, sir,
0:01:42 > 0:01:44I'll check the acts for the Freedom Show.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48- Well, have a look at the poster. I'm busy at the moment.- Yeah.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Would you look at that, sir?
0:01:54 > 0:01:56- What is it?- Graffiti, sir.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58- I think it's supposed to be you. - How can you tell?
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Well, the giveaway, "Who's the governor?
0:02:00 > 0:02:02"I'm The Governor, and I smell of sausage rolls."
0:02:02 > 0:02:04- Oh, this is terrible, Frank. - It certainly is, sir.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06They've missed out one of your chins.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09N-n-not the poster, the graffiti in The Slammer.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11- Oh.- If the inmates take a sight of this...ooh,
0:02:11 > 0:02:12I'll be a laughing stock.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15- More of a laughing stock, sir. - Yeah, more of a laughing stock.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18- Let's check all the other posters. There's no time to lose.- Ah!
0:02:19 > 0:02:21No. Is there? No time to lose.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27- Little sprinkle of dust for luck. - Like me before showtime, Meadows.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Ha. Another one!
0:02:29 > 0:02:31- Look at that!- Terrible, isn't it?
0:02:31 > 0:02:33No, sir, it's wonderful.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36Such verve, such vigour, the raw emotion of Banksy
0:02:36 > 0:02:39combined with the delicacy of a young Leonardo Da Vinci.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41- You what?- It's art.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43It's vandalism, that is.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46You have to let the prisoners express themselves, sir.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49You were right, sir, all the other posters were ruined just the same.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52- Look at this. "I am The Governor and I wobble when I walk."- Oof.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56- "I'm The Governor, and when I sing, I belch."- How do they know that?
0:02:56 > 0:02:58And, "Who's The Governor? I'm The Governor,
0:02:58 > 0:03:00"and I smell of sausage rolls."
0:03:00 > 0:03:02- SHE WHISPERS:- He does.- I know.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05- Well, you know what this means, don't you?- Yes!
0:03:05 > 0:03:07We've got a vandal on the loose in The Slammer.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08It's not vandalism.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12We should be encouraging the prisoners' artistic expression.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14- No.- How about an art competition?
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Oh!
0:03:16 > 0:03:18That's a capital idea, Meadows.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Thank you, sir. I'll get it sorted.
0:03:21 > 0:03:22Hm.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25With every inmate in The Slammer drawing one of their posters...
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Ha-ha. ..we'll soon get to the bottom of all this.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Yes, sir, and we'll ensure he never holds a paintbrush again.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- Ha-ha.- Ha-ha-ha.- Ha-ha-ha. - Mu-ha-ha.- Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36BOTH: Mu-ha-ha-ha.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- Can you smell sausage rolls, Frank? - Yes, sir, I can.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42More glitter, Brian.
0:03:44 > 0:03:45Perfect!
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Mr Burgess, tell me, are all the performing prisoner acts here?
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Yes, they're all here, sir, The Crazy Tramps.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Oh, very good. Let's have a look. Oh, yeah. What's it supposed to be?
0:03:53 > 0:03:54- It's him.- Oh. - HE LAUGHS
0:03:54 > 0:03:57- Third-time offender, Timo Marc, of course.- Ooh!
0:03:57 > 0:03:59It's a good likeness of you, Frank. Ha!
0:03:59 > 0:04:01- Yeah, very funny.- Well done, Timo.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Uh, no, no. Let's have a look.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06- "It's snowtime," lad. - SHE WHISPERS:- He did his best!
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Well done, Billy.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09Well done, Billy.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11No, we still haven't found our winner yet, Frank.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Keep look... Ah! You! It's you!
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Well, no, sir, quite obviously it's you.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Oh, I see what you mean, sir, it is you.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Right, you're nicked.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- We have a winner, Pablo Pickaxe. - No, no, no, that's not what I meant.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27- Well done, Pablo. Now, for your prize...- Prize?!- Prize?
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- Prize!- There's no prizes.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32What do you mean? We can't have an art competition without a prize.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35You see, it's not really an art competition. It's more of a...
0:04:35 > 0:04:37I know, what about all those lovely doughnuts I made earlier on?
0:04:37 > 0:04:40No, they're mine. I mean...they're faulty.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44- Full of holes.- Don't be daft, they're meant to be full of holes.
0:04:44 > 0:04:45Come on, Pablo.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51- Oh, grr!- Leave it, sir. He's not worth it, sir. Leave it. Leave it.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Right, what shall I do with these, sir?
0:04:54 > 0:04:57- Tear them up.- Including this one, sir? The winning entry, sir?
0:04:57 > 0:05:00As chosen by you, very publicly in front of everyone, sir?
0:05:00 > 0:05:01Especially that one!
0:05:01 > 0:05:03- Very well, sir.- Yeah, very good.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05- SIREN AND BUZZING - Now, how do I look?
0:05:05 > 0:05:07And don't say like that poster!
0:05:07 > 0:05:09- Divine, sir.- Divine, sir. - Thank you very much.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12In that case, it's showtime!
0:05:12 > 0:05:13Oooh.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- OVER MICROPHONE:- Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HMP Slammer
0:05:18 > 0:05:21where you decide which prisoner is to be released.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Now, please welcome your host,
0:05:24 > 0:05:27the Prison Service's very own poster boy,
0:05:27 > 0:05:29it's The Governor.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Hello!
0:05:45 > 0:05:46- HE SHOUTS:- Who's The Governor?
0:05:46 > 0:05:48- AUDIENCE SHOUTS:- You're The Governor!
0:05:48 > 0:05:51- Oh!- Jailers and jailbirds, welcome to another Freedom Show
0:05:51 > 0:05:54here at The Slammer where you decide who goes free.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Their debt to society paid.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Well, jailers and jailbirds, what a week it's been.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01We've had a bit of trouble at the printers', yes.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05And unfortunately, I can't tell you the names of the acts
0:06:05 > 0:06:07that we've got on cos we haven't got any posters.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10But I can tell you we've got four acts,
0:06:10 > 0:06:13one act that's really...really "Ooh!"
0:06:13 > 0:06:15- AUDIENCE:- Ooh.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Another act that's really, "Ah!"
0:06:17 > 0:06:19- AUDIENCE:- Ah.- That's very good.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22And another act that's really, "Ha-ha ha-ha!"
0:06:22 > 0:06:23- AUDIENCE:- Ha-ha ha-ha.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26But, right now, let's start of the Freedom Show with an act
0:06:26 > 0:06:29that's really...YEEEAH!
0:06:29 > 0:06:31THEY CHEER
0:06:46 > 0:06:49MUSIC PLAYS
0:06:52 > 0:06:54THEY CLAP TO BEAT
0:06:58 > 0:06:59- ALL:- Whoo.
0:07:09 > 0:07:10THEY LAUGH
0:07:21 > 0:07:22THEY LAUGH
0:07:35 > 0:07:37- SHE SHOUTS:- Look! Trousers.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46THEY LAUGH
0:07:59 > 0:08:00THEY LAUGH
0:08:35 > 0:08:37- AUDIENCE:- Oh!
0:08:45 > 0:08:46BOING
0:08:55 > 0:08:57- AUDIENCE:- Whoop!
0:09:05 > 0:09:06THEY GIGGLE
0:09:22 > 0:09:23APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:09:25 > 0:09:26Here they are.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Here they are.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Whoa. Take away their... Yes.
0:09:30 > 0:09:31Oh-ho-ho!
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Ha-ha-ha. They don't want to go.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37I remember who they are now. Of course! It's The Crazy Tramps.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Yeah, they were great, weren't they?! Yeah!
0:09:39 > 0:09:40CHEERING
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Don't try it at home. These are professionals.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46They reached real heights there. Did they reach the heights with you?
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Let's find out with the crazy Mr Burgess.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Right, sir, may I take your drawing there?
0:09:51 > 0:09:54And would you like to talk us through that?
0:09:54 > 0:09:56It was when the man was on the floor
0:09:56 > 0:09:58and shaking his bum with the other one.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01And I'm seeing some...sort of fluffy area there.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03- Was he blowing off at the time, sir? - Yeah.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06- Doing a big trump?- Yeah.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Tell us all about The Crazy Tramps.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09I think they were funny.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12The best part was when the Crazy Tramp
0:10:12 > 0:10:15got his head stuck in the trampoline.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17- Have you ever had a go on a trampoline?- Yeah.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20- Can you do all that stuff? - No.- No, no.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23And, for one final word on The Crazy Tramps, miss.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27- Incessantly funny.- Well, yes, incessantly funny, sir.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31That's what you thought of that marvellous act, The Crazy Tramps.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Now, we're moving on to another act, and I'd love to tell you
0:10:34 > 0:10:38all about this act, I'd love to tell you what they're called...
0:10:38 > 0:10:40but I can't. But I will ask you to give a big, big cheer
0:10:40 > 0:10:42for an act that's here!
0:10:42 > 0:10:43YEAH!
0:10:43 > 0:10:45THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD
0:10:54 > 0:10:55BUZZING
0:11:01 > 0:11:03AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:11:03 > 0:11:04MUSIC PLAYS
0:11:22 > 0:11:23SLUPRING
0:11:23 > 0:11:24GULPING
0:11:24 > 0:11:26SLURPING
0:11:26 > 0:11:27GULPING
0:11:27 > 0:11:29SLURPING
0:11:29 > 0:11:30GULPING
0:11:30 > 0:11:32BURPING
0:11:33 > 0:11:34AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:11:49 > 0:11:50BUZZING
0:11:54 > 0:11:55THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD
0:12:17 > 0:12:19DRUMROLLS
0:12:21 > 0:12:23BOING
0:12:27 > 0:12:29THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD
0:12:38 > 0:12:39APPLAUSE
0:12:57 > 0:12:59MUSIC CONTINUES
0:13:05 > 0:13:07THEY CHEER
0:13:25 > 0:13:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:13:31 > 0:13:32I remember him.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36Now, that's the fabulous Timo Marc, jailers and jailbirds. Yes!
0:13:36 > 0:13:37THEY WHOOP
0:13:39 > 0:13:43He's a bit of a repeat offender is Timo Marc. Marvellous.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45But what about that experience of levitation?
0:13:45 > 0:13:49Did you find it uplifting? Let's find out with Mr Burgess.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52Miss, what did you make of Timo Marc?
0:13:52 > 0:13:55It was amazingly scary. I can't believe it.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57What was scary about it? Which bit?
0:13:57 > 0:13:59- Um, when...- The flea?- Yeah.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Given the choice between facing a flea and a lion,
0:14:02 > 0:14:04which one would you take, miss?
0:14:04 > 0:14:05Um...the lion.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07The lion? AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Well, lots to enjoy with Timo Marc. What did you think of it?
0:14:10 > 0:14:13Well, that fly is magic drinking that milk.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14Flytastic!
0:14:14 > 0:14:15Flytastic, yeah!
0:14:15 > 0:14:19One final word from lady with dog on shirt.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21- THEY LAUGH - It's a fox.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23- What?!- It's a fox. - SHE LAUGHS
0:14:23 > 0:14:24It's a fox, sir.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Don't know what it means but let's go with it.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Well, Timo Marc there,
0:14:29 > 0:14:32jailers and jailbirds, and his amazing, powerful flea.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36Will he be going free? Yes, you'll find out a little bit later.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40But now, it's time for the act that we call Solitary Confinement!
0:14:40 > 0:14:42- Yes.- AUDIENCE:- Boo!
0:14:43 > 0:14:46I know, I know, this is the part of the show where we let some
0:14:46 > 0:14:48performing prisoners have a go.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51They're too bad. We can't let them out.
0:14:51 > 0:14:52We can't let them escape.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55But we do give them a little chance, and if they do well,
0:14:55 > 0:14:56they have a treat.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58And the treat today is, we're going to give them
0:14:58 > 0:15:01a lovely reproduction of Leonardo da Vinci's famous painting
0:15:01 > 0:15:04the Mona Lisa, hanging up in their cell. Be nice that, won't it?
0:15:04 > 0:15:07- ALL:- Whoo.- But if they don't, they get a cruel and unusual
0:15:07 > 0:15:08punishment. Mr Burgess...
0:15:08 > 0:15:10- Ah!- What is today's cruel and unusual punishment?
0:15:10 > 0:15:15Today, sir, it's the old sack and porridge routine.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17- Ha!- Ooh, the oldie sack and porridge. We don't want that.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Nobody wants that.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21- But we do need a judge, Mr Burgess. - We do, sir.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23- Someone...- This young lady here, sir.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Yes, give her a round of applause, please.
0:15:25 > 0:15:26She looks wise.
0:15:26 > 0:15:27APPLAUSE
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Tell me your name.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32- Charlotte.- Charlotte.- We give justice.- We give justice.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36You will decide in a moment, but right now it's time to enjoy -
0:15:36 > 0:15:38if that's the right word - our special act.
0:15:38 > 0:15:42Yes, our solitary confinement act called Trick Cyclists.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44- Come this way.- Come on, here we go.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Whoa.
0:15:47 > 0:15:48- ALL:- Boo!
0:15:51 > 0:15:52MUSIC PLAYS
0:16:04 > 0:16:06- ALL:- Boo.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39No, no, no. They've got to go.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41I've got to take them off.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Well, it seems the trick cyclists
0:16:45 > 0:16:47have the audience with them all the way.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Probably shake them off by the motorway
0:16:49 > 0:16:52but now it's time for you to decide, remember, thumbs up
0:16:52 > 0:16:54and it's a Leonardo Da Vinci copy,
0:16:54 > 0:16:58thumbs down, it's warm, wet and ploppy.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Get that thumb up there.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Your time starts...now!
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Oh, oh, ooooh.
0:17:06 > 0:17:07Ooh!
0:17:08 > 0:17:09AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:17:09 > 0:17:13Your act was weak and sloppy, so, for you, it's plop, plop...
0:17:13 > 0:17:15- ALL:- Plop, plop, ploppy.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18How many buckets? Give them both buckets! Yeah!
0:17:18 > 0:17:19- ALL SHOUT:- Yeah!
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- THEY ALL CHANT:- Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy...
0:17:30 > 0:17:31Both buckets!
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Lights out, sir.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35- Pull yourself together, sir. - Sorry, Mr Burgess.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38- Well, yeah, take them back to their cells. Take them back.- ALL:- Boo.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42Yes, and a big hand for our judge, Justice Charlotte. Thank you.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44THEY APPLAUD
0:17:44 > 0:17:46- On with the Freedom Show, Mr Burgess.- Hi-yah!
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Now, the next act needs no introduction, which is
0:17:48 > 0:17:51just as well, cos I'm in no position to give them one.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Except to say, they're brilliant. Yeah!
0:17:54 > 0:17:56AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Whoa.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12- ALL:- Whoo.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30THEY CHEER
0:19:16 > 0:19:17- ALL:- Whoo!
0:19:33 > 0:19:34THEY CHEER
0:20:10 > 0:20:11APPLAUSE
0:20:34 > 0:20:35THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Well, the Alien Invasion there.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42Jailers and jailbirds,
0:20:42 > 0:20:44don't let me find out that any of you have been
0:20:44 > 0:20:47doing anything like that. Don't ever try anything like that.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Remember, they're highly-trained athletes.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52But, at the end of the day, was the Alien Invasion
0:20:52 > 0:20:54out of this world?
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Let's find out with Mr Burgess.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59The Alien Invasion, miss, did it invade your world?
0:20:59 > 0:21:03Um, I thought it was awesomely amazingly brilliantly
0:21:03 > 0:21:05fantastically superbly epic.
0:21:05 > 0:21:06Did you like the Alien Invasion?
0:21:06 > 0:21:10It was really good, and I think they are really talented.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12They should go out of The Slammer.
0:21:12 > 0:21:13They should, back to their planet.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15What planet do you think they came from?
0:21:15 > 0:21:17- Zoggabogga.- Zoggabogga? THEY LAUGH
0:21:17 > 0:21:20What language do they speak in Zoggabogga, madam?
0:21:20 > 0:21:21Zoggaboggarea.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24- Could you speak a bit for us please? - No.- Anyone speak Zoggaboggarea?
0:21:24 > 0:21:26- Yeah!- Yeah, OK, let's speak a bit for me.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28- SHE SPEAKS GOBBLEDEGOOK - Yeah?
0:21:28 > 0:21:30HE RESPONDS IN GOBBLEDEGOOK
0:21:30 > 0:21:34THEY CONVERSE IN GOBBLEDEGOOK
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Yeah! Thank you! Wa-hey!
0:21:38 > 0:21:40APPLAUSE
0:21:40 > 0:21:43And for one final word about the Alien Invasion, sock it to me, baby.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45- A miracle.- A miracle, sir.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49Right, onto our final performing prisoner act. Yes.
0:21:49 > 0:21:53And once again, because there's no posters here in The Slammer,
0:21:53 > 0:21:55I can't tell you what the act is,
0:21:55 > 0:21:57but they're really, really good,
0:21:57 > 0:21:59so I hope you really, really enjoy them.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02It's the act that we know as... Oh!
0:22:02 > 0:22:03MUSIC PLAYS
0:22:19 > 0:22:21- MUSIC:- "Jump Around" by House Of Pain
0:22:53 > 0:22:54Whoo!
0:23:05 > 0:23:07# Jump around
0:23:07 > 0:23:08# Jump around
0:23:09 > 0:23:12# Jump up, jump up and get down
0:23:12 > 0:23:14# Jump, jump, jump, jump
0:23:14 > 0:23:16# Jump, jump, jump, jump...#
0:23:18 > 0:23:19THEY CHEER
0:23:27 > 0:23:29- AUDIENCE:- Whoo!
0:23:35 > 0:23:37THEY LAUGH
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Get those...get those Power Risers.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50Well, of course I know who they are now - durr!
0:23:50 > 0:23:52Yes, they're the Power Risers. Power Risers.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55And they're serving seven years in The Slammer for giving a very
0:23:55 > 0:23:56stilted performance.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58- Ooh! - AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:23:58 > 0:24:00But did they really go up in your estimation?
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Let's find out with Mr bouncy Burgess.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Sir, what did you make of that?
0:24:05 > 0:24:08It was good in some ways but...
0:24:08 > 0:24:11Every time they started bouncing I was afraid
0:24:11 > 0:24:13they would fall off and break their neck.
0:24:13 > 0:24:14- Really?- Yeah.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18- So, you had health and safety issues with that act?- Yeah.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Well, a very bouncy act. Did you like them?
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Yeah, I thought they were very good because
0:24:22 > 0:24:24they bounced over lots of different boxes.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26- And did you do a poster of them? - Yeah.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Let's have a look at it. What have we got?
0:24:28 > 0:24:30They look like bouncing pirates there, don't they?
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Sum that act up for me in one final word. Da!
0:24:32 > 0:24:36- Macnificent. - Macnificent, sir. MAC-nificant.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Right, performing prisoner appreciators,
0:24:39 > 0:24:41it's time now to decide who goes free with this,
0:24:41 > 0:24:44the Clap-o-meter as modelled by Meadows there.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Let's get all the acts back onto the stage.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Welcome them, please.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Those Crazy Tramps, Timo Marc,
0:24:51 > 0:24:55Alien Invasion and those Power Risers.
0:24:55 > 0:24:56APPLAUSE
0:24:56 > 0:24:59Well, four very different, exciting acts.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03And at last, now, I know who they are. But what did you think of them?
0:25:03 > 0:25:06That's what matters. The more noise you make, the higher their score.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Let's have the first ones up, please.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11Make some noise for those Crazy Tramps.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14AUDIENCE SCREAMS AND APPLAUDS
0:25:17 > 0:25:18Wow.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21Look at that, trampolining to 85.2.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23That's really good. There we are.
0:25:23 > 0:25:24Well, there were two of them.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27And this next act was a sort of double act except
0:25:27 > 0:25:28you couldn't see one of them.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30But he was brilliant - Timo Marc!
0:25:30 > 0:25:32THEY SCREAM AND APPLAUD
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Oh, Timo gets 85.7.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Whoa, it's close today.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42It's close. Well, we were visited.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44We were visited. We are not alone.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46We had an Alien Invasion!
0:25:46 > 0:25:48THEY SCREAM AND APPLAUD
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Oh, blasting off.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Boy, blasting off to a new score.
0:25:57 > 0:25:5992.1.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Scored to taking off into the lead there, the Alien Invasion.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Only one act can beat them now who can catch them.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07Will it be the Power Risers...
0:26:07 > 0:26:09THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD
0:26:09 > 0:26:10..bouncing to it?
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Whoa. No, not quite.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15A good score, 73.9.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19But that means, going free up into the stratosphere,
0:26:19 > 0:26:21it is the Alien Invasion!
0:26:27 > 0:26:30Well, jailers and jailbirds, that's the good news.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32The bad news for the rest of the performing prisoners is
0:26:32 > 0:26:33they're staying for tea.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36And we know what we get for tea, don't we, Mr Burgess?
0:26:36 > 0:26:38The usual sloppy ploppy porridge.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40- Oh, bet it's not, sir. - What do you mean?
0:26:40 > 0:26:43- I bet you it's not sloppy ploppy porridge tonight.- You bet? How much?
0:26:43 > 0:26:46- 50p, sir.- 50p? You're on. - Yeah,- All right. Ha.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49- What's for tea then?- Sloppy ploppy porridge. Here's your 50p.
0:26:49 > 0:26:50Right, you lot, off you go.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Take him away, everybody. Go on, give him a big cheer.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Jailers and jailbirds, go on. Off they go!
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Well, there we are. At least I won 50p.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01I'll buy some sloppy ploppy porridge with it.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03In the meantime, everybody, have a great time.
0:27:03 > 0:27:07Join us again soon on the Freedom Show, here at The Slammer.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Bye-bye, everybody. Bye-bye.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:27:29 > 0:27:33# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:27:34 > 0:27:35A splendid show, Frank.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Oh, and look, just one doughnut left - for me.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41- Yeah.- Sorry, sir, you can't have this. It's faulty, full of holes.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43I'll give it to Pablo, he won't mind.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Oh, sir,
0:27:46 > 0:27:51I bet you "dough nut" like that, do you sir? Hm? Hm?
0:27:53 > 0:27:56KLAXON SOUNDS