0:00:02 > 0:00:04- DISCO MUSIC PLAYS - Woo!
0:00:04 > 0:00:06CHEERING
0:00:06 > 0:00:08# Singing "disco..." #
0:00:08 > 0:00:09# Big fish, little fish Cardboard box... #
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# D-I-S-C-O... #
0:00:12 > 0:00:13Ta-dah!
0:00:13 > 0:00:17# D-I-S-C-O... #
0:00:17 > 0:00:19Oh, no - Guv's got disco fever!
0:00:19 > 0:00:21Oh, not again!
0:00:21 > 0:00:24# D-I-S-C-O... #
0:00:27 > 0:00:32# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime
0:00:32 > 0:00:36# So welcome to The Slammer where you're going to serve your time
0:00:36 > 0:00:41# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste
0:00:41 > 0:00:45# Performing to the limit to try and get released
0:00:45 > 0:00:47# So go and fetch the audience
0:00:47 > 0:00:49# Bring them to The Slammer
0:00:49 > 0:00:54# And polish up your act with a bit of glitz and glamour
0:00:54 > 0:00:59# Your fate is in their hands so make them cheer and clamour
0:00:59 > 0:01:03# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer
0:01:03 > 0:01:07# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #
0:01:11 > 0:01:13You wanted to see us, sir?
0:01:13 > 0:01:16- Yes, Frank - lock the prison down! - Eh?- Is someone trying to escape?
0:01:16 > 0:01:17No, someone's trying to break in!
0:01:17 > 0:01:19I'm not sure that's how prison works, sir.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22My sister's sending my nephew here for work experience.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24He's the naughtiest kid I've ever met -
0:01:24 > 0:01:26he piddled through the neighbour's letter box
0:01:26 > 0:01:28then knocked the door to ask how far it had gone.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Well, I think it's excellent when a young man shows an interest
0:01:31 > 0:01:34in the noble life of the prison officer, sir.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Hello, Uncle Governor!
0:01:36 > 0:01:38ARRRRGH!
0:01:38 > 0:01:40KLAXON BLARES
0:01:41 > 0:01:43A little bit over the top, isn't it, sir?
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Yes - this, of course, is solitary confinement,
0:01:51 > 0:01:53where we keep our most awful prisoners
0:01:53 > 0:01:55safely under lock and key.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57You're so brave, Mr Burgess.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59No, not brave, son.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Just...heroic.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Now, there's no prouder moment in a prison officer's life
0:02:03 > 0:02:06than when he first gets to...jangle his keys.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Have a go yourself.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11- Wow!- I know. It's like a symphony, isn't it?
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Go on, son, open the door.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21- In you go, then. - No, no - heroes first.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Oh! Do you know what, Nicky? You're a very good lad.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Come this way...
0:02:25 > 0:02:26NICKY LAUGHS
0:02:26 > 0:02:27DOOR LOCK CLICKS
0:02:27 > 0:02:28Oi!
0:02:28 > 0:02:31THUNDER CLAPS, BURGESS KNOCKS
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Meadows? Governor?
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Em..anyone?!
0:02:36 > 0:02:40How dare he! HOW DARE HE!
0:02:40 > 0:02:43Disrespecting a senior prison officer like that.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Governor could at least have warned me!
0:02:45 > 0:02:48I tell you what, why don't you let me have a go with him?
0:02:48 > 0:02:49He can't be that bad.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51EEK!
0:02:52 > 0:02:54So, when it's bedtime,
0:02:54 > 0:02:57I have to come down here and check all the acts are in bed.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59- On your own? - Normally, yes.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01- You're so brave. - Oh, no, no.
0:03:01 > 0:03:02Come on - I bet "Brave" is your middle name!
0:03:02 > 0:03:04No - it's Hedgehog.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06And I'm actually quite frightened of hedgehogs.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08What's this for?
0:03:08 > 0:03:10No! Don't touch that - that's for lights out.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12I never do lights out.
0:03:12 > 0:03:13I'm scared of the dark.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17Well, I think you're the best prison officer ever.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19When I grow up, I want to be just like you.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Oh, thank you!
0:03:21 > 0:03:23THUNDER CLAPS
0:03:27 > 0:03:29- Ooh...! Oh! - Meadows, what's the matter?
0:03:29 > 0:03:31You look like you've got ants in your pants.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34More like prisoners' boots, sir - they keep kicking me up the bum!
0:03:34 > 0:03:37But you're the most popular prison officer
0:03:37 > 0:03:39since Popular Pete purchased popcorn
0:03:39 > 0:03:41and permitted the prisoners to participate!
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Why would they kick you?
0:03:46 > 0:03:47Your nephew, sir.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Why would Nicky do that?!
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Because he fell out of the naughty tree
0:03:52 > 0:03:55and hit every branch on the way down.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Showtime starts in just a few minutes -
0:03:57 > 0:03:59we mustn't let him anywhere near it!
0:03:59 > 0:04:00I've got it, sir!
0:04:00 > 0:04:03Why don't we give him a real taste of prison life
0:04:03 > 0:04:05and stick him in a cell with Dangerous Dan, sir?
0:04:05 > 0:04:07- Remember, the...? - Oooh!- Yes...
0:04:07 > 0:04:10THE GOVERNOR CHUCKLES
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Right, in.
0:04:17 > 0:04:18No, no, after you.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Nice try, sonny! In you go!
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Hello...
0:04:26 > 0:04:27Just get in there.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28Lock it.
0:04:30 > 0:04:31SCREAMING
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Just keep walking, Meadows. Just keep walking.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37ELECTRICITY BUZZES
0:04:37 > 0:04:39NICKY LAUGHS EVILLY
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Thanks, Mr Burgess.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Well, that's Nicky safely locked away
0:04:50 > 0:04:52just in time for the Freedom Show.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54- How do I look? - BOTH: Divine, sir.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Thank you very much - in that case, it's Showtime!
0:04:57 > 0:04:58Oh, yes!
0:04:58 > 0:05:02- NARRATOR:- Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HMP Slammer,
0:05:02 > 0:05:05where you decide which prisoner is to be released.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Now, please welcome your host.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12All he wants is peace and quiet, but his nephew's running riot.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14It's the Governor!
0:05:14 > 0:05:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Who's the Governor?
0:05:31 > 0:05:34AUDIENCE: You're the Governor!
0:05:34 > 0:05:36Fantastic, Jailors and Jailbirds!
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Welcome to another Freedom Show here at The Slammer
0:05:39 > 0:05:41and have we got a show for you!
0:05:41 > 0:05:45- # D-I-S-C-O... # - Come on! Woo!
0:05:45 > 0:05:47# D-I-S-C-O... #
0:05:49 > 0:05:53NICKY SNIGGERS AS MUSIC PLAYS
0:05:53 > 0:05:55# D-I-S-C-O... #
0:05:56 > 0:06:00Ah! I thought as much! Right, come here, you!
0:06:05 > 0:06:09Oh, yes - give yourselves a big hand there, ladies and gentlemen.
0:06:09 > 0:06:10I've got disco fever.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14Oh...I've got disco fever, but it doesn't matter,
0:06:14 > 0:06:16because we've got the Freedom Show as well.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18And what brilliant acts we've got. Let's hear it for them.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22We've got a tremendously funny and strange act called Strange Comedy.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- Ooooh! - AUDIENCE: Ooooh!
0:06:25 > 0:06:28And we've got the even stranger Creatures of the Blackpool Lagoon.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30- Ooooh! - AUDIENCE: Ooooh!
0:06:30 > 0:06:32And the brilliant Harper Brothers are here!
0:06:32 > 0:06:34CHEERING
0:06:34 > 0:06:37But right now, an act of tumblers and acrobats -
0:06:37 > 0:06:38they use a springboard,
0:06:38 > 0:06:40they're serving ten years in The Slammer
0:06:40 > 0:06:42for trying to spring their friends from prison.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Will they get out today?
0:06:43 > 0:06:47Let's find out as we see...Julio Troupe!
0:06:47 > 0:06:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:06:56 > 0:06:59FAST CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS
0:07:06 > 0:07:08AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:07:08 > 0:07:09ACROBATS: Ho!
0:07:14 > 0:07:15Hip, hip, hip!
0:07:21 > 0:07:23AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:07:30 > 0:07:32AUDIENCE: Oooh!
0:07:43 > 0:07:44Ho!
0:07:54 > 0:07:55AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:08:01 > 0:08:02Ho!
0:08:06 > 0:08:08AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:08:16 > 0:08:17Ho!
0:08:32 > 0:08:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:39 > 0:08:40Oh! There we are - Julio Troupe!
0:08:40 > 0:08:44Give them a big cheer, Jailors and Jailbirds! Fantastic!
0:08:44 > 0:08:46# Hey! La-la-la-la... #
0:08:46 > 0:08:48I liked the skipping at the front, that was good.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50What did you think with Mr Burgess?
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Well, Julio Troupe, there -
0:08:52 > 0:08:54not to be confused with the King's Troupe Royal Horse Artillery.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56They were really bad.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59They did all those backflips, jumping off and off the see-saw
0:08:59 > 0:09:01and skipping and...
0:09:01 > 0:09:04- They were good.- Now you've just changed your mind, sir.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08Were you using the "yoot" phrase "bad" as in "good", sir?
0:09:08 > 0:09:11- Is that what you meant?- Yeah. - Right, good. We got there in the end.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14- Or, rather, bad. - Tell us all about Julio Troupe.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16It was amazing and really cool.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19I thought that he was going to drop the girl on her head.
0:09:19 > 0:09:20One final word, sir.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22BOY SNORTS WITH LAUGHTER
0:09:22 > 0:09:25"Pffff!", sir.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Will Julio Troupe go free?
0:09:27 > 0:09:29You'll decide at the end of the Freedom Show.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31The next act - they're called Strange Comedy.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33They're doing five years in The Slammer
0:09:33 > 0:09:36for laughing at strangers - yes, it's...Strange Comedy!
0:09:36 > 0:09:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:09:46 > 0:09:48LATIN MUSIC PLAYS
0:10:00 > 0:10:02WOMAN MOUTHS
0:10:13 > 0:10:16AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:10:16 > 0:10:18BANG!
0:10:18 > 0:10:20BANG!
0:10:20 > 0:10:21CRASH!
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Arrrggghhh!
0:10:32 > 0:10:34A little juggle...
0:10:34 > 0:10:35DRUMROLL
0:10:39 > 0:10:40LAUGHTER
0:10:48 > 0:10:49Ha!
0:10:49 > 0:10:50Whoa!
0:10:57 > 0:10:58- ANGELICALLY:- # Ah...! #
0:11:04 > 0:11:05APPLAUSE
0:11:12 > 0:11:14MUSIC SLOWS DOWN
0:11:28 > 0:11:31MUSIC: "The Blue Danube Waltz" by Johann Strauss
0:11:31 > 0:11:32Oh...!
0:11:46 > 0:11:47BANG!
0:11:47 > 0:11:48CRASH!
0:11:48 > 0:11:50AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND GROANS
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Ta-dah!
0:11:56 > 0:11:57CHEERING
0:12:01 > 0:12:03RIPPING SOUND
0:12:03 > 0:12:05LATIN MUSIC RESUMES
0:12:13 > 0:12:14Ta-dah!
0:12:14 > 0:12:16AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:12:22 > 0:12:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Well, Strange Comedy, there - did they make you laugh?
0:12:32 > 0:12:33Or were they just strange?
0:12:33 > 0:12:35Let's find out with Mr Burgess.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39Well, what did you think of that? Do you like strange, sir?
0:12:39 > 0:12:40Hey...!
0:12:40 > 0:12:42SCREAMING
0:12:42 > 0:12:43Huh!
0:12:44 > 0:12:48Oh, I'll have you. I'll have you, lad!
0:12:48 > 0:12:50What did you think of that?
0:12:50 > 0:12:53I thought it was good. I thought it was strange-tastic,
0:12:53 > 0:12:54because it wasn't normal, but funny.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57- Did you like that act? - I thought it was amazeballs.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Amazeballs?
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Sum that act for me, miss.
0:13:01 > 0:13:02Epic.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Epic, sir.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Well, that was what you thought of Strange Comedy,
0:13:06 > 0:13:08but what will you think of something even stranger?
0:13:08 > 0:13:10It's Solitary Confinement!
0:13:10 > 0:13:12AUDIENCE BOOS
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Yes, the acts that are so terrible,
0:13:15 > 0:13:17we can't let them out of The Slammer,
0:13:17 > 0:13:18but we give them a chance to perform -
0:13:18 > 0:13:20if they do well, they get a little treat.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24If they don't do well, they get a cruel and unusual punishment.
0:13:24 > 0:13:25Today's treat will be marvellous -
0:13:25 > 0:13:28they get a little pet frog to keep in the cell,
0:13:28 > 0:13:30just for a week, then we let them go again.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33But if they don't do well, they get that cruel and unusual punishment -
0:13:33 > 0:13:36- Mr Burgess!- SIR!- What is the cruel and unusual punishment?
0:13:36 > 0:13:40Today, sir, it's the old sack and porridge routine, sir.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43The old sack and porridge - nobody wants that.
0:13:43 > 0:13:44As ever, we need a judge.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47- Absolutely... - Someone with discernment, wisdom...
0:13:47 > 0:13:49This gentleman here - up you come.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53- Give him a round of applause - well done, sir.- Hop on the stage.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55- Marvellous - what's your name? - Volsa.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Volsa? Marvellous.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00- The wig of justice.- Volsa, the wig of justice on you.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03Remember, you'll be deciding with your thumb after you've watched
0:14:03 > 0:14:08the act that we call...Blindfold Ben The Mind-Reader!
0:14:10 > 0:14:12AUDIENCE BOOS
0:14:17 > 0:14:21My name is Ben, The Blindfolded Mind-Reader.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Welcome to my world.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27Would you please fetch me a volunteer, Mr Burgess?
0:14:27 > 0:14:31Right, come on, up the step. Up you go.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36Stand there, like that. OK? Right, we're in position.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40Now, my mind-reading skills are telling me that you are...
0:14:41 > 0:14:43..42 years old.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45No, sir.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48Sh! That your name is...
0:14:48 > 0:14:51Ethel, and you are a butcher - am I right, Ethel?
0:14:51 > 0:14:52- No.- Shush, Ethel.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54LAUGHTER
0:14:54 > 0:14:57You once got into a fight. You got into a fight...
0:14:58 > 0:14:59..because you live in an igloo.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02- No.- And the person you fought with was an octopus,
0:15:02 > 0:15:05but you won the fight because the octopus LEGGED it.
0:15:05 > 0:15:06Do you get it?
0:15:06 > 0:15:08AUDIENCE BOOS
0:15:11 > 0:15:15Oh, well, Blindfold Ben - call that an act?
0:15:15 > 0:15:17AUDIENCE BOOS
0:15:17 > 0:15:20It's time for you to decide with the thumb of fate -
0:15:20 > 0:15:21hold it up there.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25Remember, thumbs up, it's something wild, wet and hoppy.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28Thumbs down, it's wild, wet and ploppy.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Your five seconds starts...now!
0:15:31 > 0:15:32Oh! Straight down!
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Your act was weak and sloppy,
0:15:35 > 0:15:36so for you, it's...
0:15:36 > 0:15:39AUDIENCE: Plop, plop, plop, plop, ploppy!
0:15:39 > 0:15:42- Yes! Let him have it! - Pour away, boys.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Sloppy! Ploppy...!
0:15:46 > 0:15:50AUDIENCE CHANTS: Sloppy! Ploppy! Sloppy! Ploppy!
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Sloppy! Ploppy! Sloppy! Ploppy!
0:15:54 > 0:15:57- Sloppy! Ploppy...! - Sir? Sir? SIR!
0:15:57 > 0:15:58Oh, oh, oh!
0:15:58 > 0:16:00- Pull yourself together, sir! - Oh! Sorry, Mr Burgess.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Oh...oh, yes. Take him back to his cell.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04AUDIENCE BOOS
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Yes - thank you for being a marvellous Justice.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12- Give him a round of applause. - Off you go, sir.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14APPLAUSE
0:16:14 > 0:16:17Continue, please, number two, with the rest of the show.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19- SIR!- Thank you very much.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Jailors and Jailbirds, you thought that was strange?
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Wait till you see this next act.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Yes, they are creatures from a lagoon.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Not just any lagoon -
0:16:27 > 0:16:30serving seven years for actually being a bit shark-like,
0:16:30 > 0:16:32will you please welcome
0:16:32 > 0:16:35the Creatures of the Blackpool Lagoon!
0:16:35 > 0:16:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:41 > 0:16:44FAST-PACED DRUMBEAT
0:16:45 > 0:16:46Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:16:46 > 0:16:48CREATURE YELLS
0:16:48 > 0:16:50All right! Hiya!
0:16:50 > 0:16:51Hiya!
0:16:51 > 0:16:53HIYA!
0:16:53 > 0:16:54AUDIENCE: Hello!
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Ha-ha! Eh?
0:16:56 > 0:17:00Oh! Ho! Whoa! Ho!
0:17:00 > 0:17:01Ho...
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Hiya!
0:17:03 > 0:17:04Ow!
0:17:04 > 0:17:06CAT SCREECHES
0:17:06 > 0:17:09MUSIC: "Mack The Knife"
0:17:14 > 0:17:19# Oh, the shark has pretty teeth, dear
0:17:21 > 0:17:22# And he shows them... #
0:17:22 > 0:17:26- Shark?- Shark!- Shark?- Shark!
0:17:26 > 0:17:30- Shark!- Shark!- SHARK!- Shark!
0:17:30 > 0:17:31Shark...
0:17:31 > 0:17:32ARGH!
0:17:32 > 0:17:35FISH LAUGHS
0:17:35 > 0:17:36THEME FROM "JAWS" PLAYS
0:17:40 > 0:17:41- SHARK!- Huh?
0:17:41 > 0:17:44- Go! - # One, two, three, four...
0:17:44 > 0:17:45- # Big fish, little fish... # - Oh, yeah!
0:17:45 > 0:17:47- # Big fish, little fish... # - Oh!
0:17:47 > 0:17:49- # Big fish, little fish... # - Hey!
0:17:49 > 0:17:51- # Cardboard box... # - Hey!
0:17:51 > 0:17:52# Big fish, little fish Cardboard box
0:17:52 > 0:17:54# Big fish, little fish Cardboard box
0:17:54 > 0:17:56# Big fish, little fish Cardboard box
0:17:56 > 0:17:57# We're all having fun! #
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Stop that! Stop that at once!
0:18:00 > 0:18:01It's very silly.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Let's have something a little bit more...dignified.
0:18:05 > 0:18:06BOING!
0:18:06 > 0:18:08# Come on, ladies Come on, ladies...
0:18:08 > 0:18:10AUDIENCE: # One pound fish
0:18:10 > 0:18:13# Come on, ladies Come on, ladies
0:18:13 > 0:18:14# One pound fish
0:18:14 > 0:18:17# One pound fish
0:18:17 > 0:18:18# One pound fish
0:18:24 > 0:18:26# Come on, ladies Come on, ladies
0:18:26 > 0:18:28DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
0:18:29 > 0:18:32# Come on, ladies Come on, ladies...
0:18:32 > 0:18:33# One pound fish. #
0:18:35 > 0:18:37ROCK MUSIC PLAYS
0:18:39 > 0:18:41# So long, farewell
0:18:41 > 0:18:42# Auf wiedersehen, good night
0:18:42 > 0:18:45# I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye
0:18:45 > 0:18:48- # Goodbye... # - Argh!
0:18:50 > 0:18:54- # Goodbye... # - Bye! Bye!
0:18:54 > 0:18:58# Goodbye...
0:18:58 > 0:19:06# Goodbye! #
0:19:11 > 0:19:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Yes. Ah, there they go -
0:19:19 > 0:19:22the Creatures from the Blackpool Lagoon.
0:19:22 > 0:19:23But did they sink or swim?
0:19:23 > 0:19:27Let's go under the sea with Mr Blob-Blob-Burgess.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Right, miss - fish going to swim?
0:19:29 > 0:19:32I loved the One Pound Fish and the bit with the mermaid.
0:19:32 > 0:19:33Just awesome.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36What did you think of the Creatures from the Blackpool Lagoon?
0:19:36 > 0:19:38I think it was amaze-a-tastic and I think they should win.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41One final word, tiny word, miss.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Sea-sational!
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Sea-sational, sir.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Right - just one more performing prisoner act to see
0:19:48 > 0:19:51and then you'll decide who goes free with the old Clap-o-meter.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54What an act this is - a double act. They've been here before.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Will they get out this time?
0:19:56 > 0:20:00Let's see, as we welcome the brilliant Harper Brothers!
0:20:00 > 0:20:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:20:08 > 0:20:12- Come on! - Look where we are!- I know.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13- We're in The Slammer. - We're In The Slammer.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Again! What are we singing?
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Listen to this - I've got a special guest.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20I want to sing a song with...The Governor!
0:20:20 > 0:20:24- Me?!- Yes, the Governor - come up here.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26- Yeah! Thank you! - Give him a round of applause!
0:20:26 > 0:20:27APPLAUSE
0:20:29 > 0:20:32- I've never sung a duet before - marvellous!- Hang on a minute!
0:20:32 > 0:20:33- Yeah?- Duet? There's three of us.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36That's it - duet is two, so we don't need you.
0:20:36 > 0:20:37So you can get gone - goodbye.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39AUDIENCE: Aw!
0:20:40 > 0:20:43- Whacka-whacka...? - No, not doing whackie-whackie.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- Not doing any of that.- No twerking? - We're not twerking, no.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49I'm just...I'm just twerking, just twerking.
0:20:49 > 0:20:50Would you like to join me in a duet?
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Well, I'd love to - I've never sung a duet before.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55- Let's do it.- Shall we sit on this wall?- Come on, then.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58SONG: "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother"
0:20:58 > 0:21:02- # The road is long... # - Oh, that's beautiful.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09# With many a winding turn... #
0:21:09 > 0:21:11- You like it?- Fabulous.
0:21:11 > 0:21:19# That leads us to who knows where
0:21:19 > 0:21:22# Who knows where... #
0:21:22 > 0:21:24- Go on, Governor.- Me?- Yeah.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28# But I'm strong...
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Argh!
0:21:31 > 0:21:38# Yeah - strong...strong enough to carry on... #
0:21:38 > 0:21:39Where did he go?
0:21:41 > 0:21:43# He ain't heavy... #
0:21:43 > 0:21:46- You having a go?- What?
0:21:46 > 0:21:48# He's my brother... #
0:21:48 > 0:21:50I'm not your brother, I'm the Governor.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53I know you're the Governor, I'm just saying - here we go.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55# If I'm laden... #
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Argh!
0:21:57 > 0:22:00# It has no...oh, yeah!
0:22:00 > 0:22:02# I'm laden... #
0:22:02 > 0:22:03CRASH!
0:22:03 > 0:22:07# I'm laden with sadness
0:22:07 > 0:22:10# That everyone's... #
0:22:10 > 0:22:11Argh!
0:22:13 > 0:22:16- # Isn't filled... # - Oh, yeah...
0:22:16 > 0:22:21# Oh, with the gladness
0:22:21 > 0:22:23# Of love... #
0:22:23 > 0:22:24Yeah, love it!
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Governor?
0:22:26 > 0:22:31# For one another... #
0:22:31 > 0:22:32Yeah!
0:22:32 > 0:22:38- Argh! - # It's a long, long road...
0:22:39 > 0:22:41# From which there is... #
0:22:41 > 0:22:44- Argh! - # ..no return... #
0:22:44 > 0:22:46CRASH!
0:22:46 > 0:22:49# While we're on the way... #
0:22:49 > 0:22:50Get off me!
0:22:53 > 0:22:54- Get off!- Ah!
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- # But I'm strong... # - Oh...
0:23:03 > 0:23:05- No!- Get off!
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Argh!
0:23:10 > 0:23:12# ..carry on...
0:23:16 > 0:23:18# He ain't heavy... #
0:23:18 > 0:23:19I am heavy.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24# He's my brother. #
0:23:24 > 0:23:26- Hey, I'm the Governor. - THEY YELL
0:23:26 > 0:23:28CRASH!
0:23:28 > 0:23:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:33 > 0:23:36You don't get rid of me! It's The Harper Brothers.
0:23:36 > 0:23:37Give them a big cheer.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42I am heavy and I am the Governor.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45What did you think of that, Mr Burgess?
0:23:45 > 0:23:47The Harper Brothers - any chance of it?
0:23:47 > 0:23:49They were sha-mazing, especially...
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Sorry, miss - explain that word to us.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53What is the definition of "sha-mazingness"?
0:23:53 > 0:23:54Amazing.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56- With a "sham" in it?- Yup!
0:23:56 > 0:23:58What do you think of the Harper Brothers with your Governor?
0:23:58 > 0:24:02I found it very funny and I love them.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05I score them a nine out of ten, including you.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07- Nine out of ten? Including me? - One final word -
0:24:07 > 0:24:09sum that act up for me, sir.
0:24:09 > 0:24:10Phenomenal.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Phenomenal, sir.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Well, four fabulous performing prisoner acts.
0:24:14 > 0:24:15Only one can go free.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18That's their dream - to get out of The Slammer.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Who will it be? Let's welcome them back on stage, please -
0:24:20 > 0:24:24Julio Troupe, Strange Comedy,
0:24:24 > 0:24:26Creatures of the Blackpool Lagoon
0:24:26 > 0:24:28and those Harper Brothers.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Here they all come. That's it.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Lots of performing prisoners this week.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37Now, remember, one act will go free with this, the Clap-on-meter -
0:24:37 > 0:24:40the more noise you make, the higher the score,
0:24:40 > 0:24:41it's as simple as that.
0:24:41 > 0:24:46Let's start off with the first act, it was the fabulous Julio Troupe.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Oh...brilliant!
0:24:55 > 0:24:59Straight into the nineties - 90.8, there, for Julio Troupe.
0:24:59 > 0:25:00That's a really good score.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Next, a very strange act, a very funny act.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05What did you think of Strange Comedy?
0:25:05 > 0:25:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:12 > 0:25:15Oh! I thought it worth a little bit more than that, but...
0:25:15 > 0:25:17I thought you were brilliant, Strange Comedy.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Never mind - let's see, next,
0:25:19 > 0:25:23what you thought of those fabulous fishy creatures
0:25:23 > 0:25:25from the Blackpool Lagoon!
0:25:25 > 0:25:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Wow! Oh!
0:25:32 > 0:25:34Oh! Almost...
0:25:35 > 0:25:41Wow! Almost off the range, there, with 97.1.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45Right, only one performing prisoner act left that can possibly
0:25:45 > 0:25:46knock them off the top.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49Will they be going free, with the help of the Governor?
0:25:49 > 0:25:51It was...The Harper Brothers!
0:25:51 > 0:25:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:58 > 0:25:59Close! Aw!
0:25:59 > 0:26:03A great score - 90.4. But not quite.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06Going free, with a brilliant score of 97.1,
0:26:06 > 0:26:08one of the highest ever in the Freedom Show,
0:26:08 > 0:26:12it's the Creatures From The Blackpool Lagoon!
0:26:12 > 0:26:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:15 > 0:26:18You're free to go. Harpers, you're not going anywhere.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22Jailors and Jailbirds..oh, pandemonium, here,
0:26:22 > 0:26:23here in the Freedom Show.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26The Creatures from the Blackpool Lagoon are going free.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28But the bad news is you're in time for tea.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30And what do we have for tea?
0:26:30 > 0:26:31As usual, it's sloppy, ploppy porridge.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34- They've no choice, Mr Burgess. - That's where you're wrong.
0:26:34 > 0:26:35There might be a choice tonight.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38- We've done a survey amongst the prisoners.- Really?
0:26:38 > 0:26:42Yeah - 15% voted Italian, 35%, Asian fusion,
0:26:42 > 0:26:43and 50% for Chinese.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45So what are we having?
0:26:45 > 0:26:47- Sloppy, ploppy porridge, sir. - Oh!
0:26:47 > 0:26:48Take them all away -
0:26:48 > 0:26:50The Harper Brothers and Strange Comedy
0:26:50 > 0:26:52and Julio Troupe.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Well, another brilliant Freedom Show,
0:26:57 > 0:26:58Jailors and Jailbirds.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01Join us again soon in The Slammer for more fun.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04Remember, if you can't sing, dance or rhyme...
0:27:04 > 0:27:06AUDIENCE:..don't do the crime!
0:27:06 > 0:27:09You take care - see you soon! Bye, everybody.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:31 > 0:27:34# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer!
0:27:38 > 0:27:41Thanks for letting me visit, Uncle Governor. It was kicking.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43Well, as long as you've learned something, Nicky.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45Oh, yes - it's all locked up.
0:27:45 > 0:27:46HE CHORTLES
0:27:46 > 0:27:49- Bye, then.- Bye, Nicky.
0:27:49 > 0:27:50ELECTRICITY BUZZES
0:27:50 > 0:27:53Rrrrrrrrr...!
0:27:53 > 0:27:54- POP! - Huh?
0:27:54 > 0:27:58- Uh...?- Oh, sir! - Nicky! What have you done?!
0:27:58 > 0:28:01Argh! ARRGGHH!
0:28:01 > 0:28:04THE GOVERNOR SIGHS
0:28:04 > 0:28:06Oldest trick in the book - ah-ha-ha!