Babies Suck/Exploited

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0:00:06 > 0:00:12# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

0:00:12 > 0:00:14- # It doesn't matter What may come my way...- No! No!

0:00:14 > 0:00:18# Believe me now I will win some day. #

0:00:19 > 0:00:20And then...

0:00:20 > 0:00:25you add the warm, oozing, melted chocolate, stirring gently...

0:00:25 > 0:00:28You're not allowed to bake on Sunday!

0:00:28 > 0:00:30Thank you, goody two shoes!

0:00:30 > 0:00:32Carry on.

0:00:32 > 0:00:39Pour the chocolate-butter mixture into a baking tin and lick the bowl... Mmm.

0:00:39 > 0:00:41Stop, it's torture!

0:00:41 > 0:00:48Bake in a hot oven until the smell of hot chocolate brownies drives you ma-a-ad!

0:00:50 > 0:00:52I want chocolate brownies!

0:00:52 > 0:00:56Wait a minute! I know how we can persuade Duke to let us bake!

0:00:56 > 0:00:59I'm a chef and I have to make stuff!

0:00:59 > 0:01:03Isn't he cute? What are you going to make, Marco?

0:01:03 > 0:01:05He can help you make sandwiches for lunch.

0:01:05 > 0:01:07- I want to make chocolate brownies! - We'll help!

0:01:07 > 0:01:12Hold on! Nice try, boys, but no baking on Sundays. Out.

0:01:14 > 0:01:16Marco, get off!

0:01:16 > 0:01:19I've looked in the laundry basket and the dryer!

0:01:19 > 0:01:24- Dad and Carrie will be here any minute!- You've got other jeans.

0:01:24 > 0:01:28But Carrie bought me those! I want to look special.

0:01:28 > 0:01:32You don't need to impress Carrie. She already thinks a lot of you.

0:01:32 > 0:01:36They've just got to ask me soon to come home for good!

0:01:36 > 0:01:40PHONE RINGS Hello?

0:01:40 > 0:01:43It's your dad.

0:01:43 > 0:01:45OK, why are you late?

0:01:46 > 0:01:51But you didn't come last week either.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55What's wrong with her?

0:01:57 > 0:02:01If she's too tired, come on your own and take me out.

0:02:01 > 0:02:05Well, then, pick me up and we can spend the day at home.

0:02:05 > 0:02:13Why not? You and Carrie are together all the time. What about me? I'm not being selfish!

0:02:13 > 0:02:16You and Carrie are the selfish ones, NOT ME!

0:02:19 > 0:02:23- What's the matter with her?- Her dad has just cancelled taking her out.

0:02:23 > 0:02:25- 83!- 84! 85... Whoa!

0:02:25 > 0:02:27Hey!

0:02:27 > 0:02:30We were gonna beat the world record!

0:02:39 > 0:02:44Maybe your dad and Carrie have a good reason for not taking you out today.

0:02:44 > 0:02:48- Yeah - her bad temper!- Tracy!

0:02:48 > 0:02:50Well, look at her.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52Don't.

0:02:52 > 0:02:56- I was kidding myself about going home.- Don't jump to conclusions.

0:02:56 > 0:03:00- Carrie's on her way over. - I don't want to speak to her!

0:03:00 > 0:03:03She just wants to explain something.

0:03:03 > 0:03:07- That they're happier without me hanging around!- Don't be silly.

0:03:07 > 0:03:12Why not get changed and welcome Carrie with a lovely smile?

0:03:12 > 0:03:15- Why don't you make her a cup of tea?- Good idea.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18And some cakes - she'd be really impressed.

0:03:18 > 0:03:22- There's not much time.- Chocolate brownies don't take long.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24Yeah! Everyone loves brownies.

0:03:24 > 0:03:26I'm no good at cooking.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29This is your lucky day. I am an excellent cook.

0:03:34 > 0:03:38Hey! What's going on in here?!

0:03:38 > 0:03:42Get out of the way! We need to make brownies!

0:03:42 > 0:03:45Those boys put you up to this, didn't they? No cooking today!

0:03:45 > 0:03:49- It's an emergency! - We're in a hurry!

0:03:49 > 0:03:51Right, put all that back!

0:03:51 > 0:03:53I'm telling Shelley! Shelley!

0:03:53 > 0:03:57- What's the problem? - I said no baking!

0:03:57 > 0:04:00It's all right. I gave them permission.

0:04:01 > 0:04:04Oh, fine, very good(!)

0:04:04 > 0:04:07Didn't occur to you to ask me first?!

0:04:07 > 0:04:13- Whoa! How come they're allowed to cook and we can't?!- Ask Shelley.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16If they're cooking, we're cooking!

0:04:17 > 0:04:20All right, everyone!

0:04:20 > 0:04:23That's enough! No!

0:04:23 > 0:04:26- Give me that NOW!- OK.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34He said give it to him.

0:04:36 > 0:04:43Everybody except Tracy, Justine and Jackie, out of the kitchen, now.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05Get on with it. You haven't got much time.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13Ow!

0:05:20 > 0:05:23So, you approve of cooking now, do you?

0:05:23 > 0:05:25Touch one of these and you're history.

0:05:25 > 0:05:29They're for Justine's stepmother.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31Bouncer!

0:05:33 > 0:05:35- Stick 'em up!- Get lost, Marco.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38Tell them they have to!

0:05:38 > 0:05:42Go on. I can't stand to see a cowboy cry.

0:05:45 > 0:05:50- Oi! Marco! Come back here!- Hey!

0:05:50 > 0:05:52I've touched it now.

0:05:56 > 0:06:03- Mmm-mmm, delicious. - Thank you. If I say so myself, they're my best yet.

0:06:03 > 0:06:06We did all the work! You just bossed!

0:06:06 > 0:06:09And now it's time for your best clean-up.

0:06:09 > 0:06:14It's not my mess. Like she said, I was just supervising.

0:06:14 > 0:06:16I have to get ready!

0:06:38 > 0:06:41Look what Justine made for you.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45- Er, thank you...lovely.- Sit down.

0:06:47 > 0:06:52- Let's go to your room. There's something I want to tell you.- No!

0:06:52 > 0:06:54I mean, not until you have your tea first.

0:06:57 > 0:07:01- Have one. They're delicious. - I'm not very hungry.

0:07:01 > 0:07:05- We'll have them!- I made them specially. You have to have one.

0:07:13 > 0:07:18- Please! They're making me sick. - My cooking makes you sick?!

0:07:18 > 0:07:20No! I didn't mean that...

0:07:20 > 0:07:25No-o-o!

0:07:33 > 0:07:37I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. It's chocolate.

0:07:37 > 0:07:40I can't stand the taste or the smell of it.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43Chocolate makes you sick? That's seriously weird.

0:07:43 > 0:07:50- I haven't been feeling well. - I know why you came round here! Why don't you just tell the truth?!

0:07:57 > 0:08:01I came here because I wanted to tell you myself.

0:08:01 > 0:08:03I...

0:08:03 > 0:08:09We... Your dad and me... We're going to have a baby.

0:08:24 > 0:08:25BURP!

0:08:27 > 0:08:35- Don't you dare tell me everything will be all right, cos I know it won't!- It might be.

0:08:35 > 0:08:39Didn't you hear her? She's having a baby of her own!

0:08:39 > 0:08:42- She won't want me in the way. - But your dad...

0:08:42 > 0:08:48- He'll just do what Carrie wants, and she doesn't want me! - You don't know that.- Don't I?

0:08:48 > 0:08:52What happened to you when your foster parents had a new baby?

0:08:52 > 0:08:56You got dumped back in the Dumping Ground!

0:08:59 > 0:09:07- Sorry, I didn't mean it. - No, you're right. Babies suck.

0:09:16 > 0:09:21- I'm going to talk to her.- Give her a few minutes. I'll make you tea.

0:09:21 > 0:09:25I can't stomach tea either, or coffee.

0:09:25 > 0:09:30My sister-in-law was like that. She could only eat olives and crackers.

0:09:30 > 0:09:34- Craved them.- Ice cream, me. Could eat it by the gallon.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37Ah, ice cream. No problem.

0:09:40 > 0:09:43How could you do such a terrible thing to Justine?!

0:09:43 > 0:09:49- I don't know what you're talking about.- How dumb are you?- That's enough, Tracy!- No, it's all right.

0:09:49 > 0:09:55- What is it I have done? - You made her dream stupid dreams about going home,

0:09:55 > 0:10:00- and now you're going to dump her for some new baby! - Is that what she thinks?

0:10:00 > 0:10:04That's what will happen. Everyone knows it.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14I'm having a baby too!

0:10:17 > 0:10:24You're right! There's a baby in the big, tough cowboy's tummy.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28I have to have lots of ice cream... now!

0:10:28 > 0:10:31Now, why didn't I see that one coming?

0:10:33 > 0:10:38Go away! I don't want to hear your stupid excuses!

0:10:38 > 0:10:41I just wanted to show you something.

0:10:46 > 0:10:49The ultrasound picture.

0:10:49 > 0:10:53You're showing it off already? How gross is that?

0:10:55 > 0:10:58This isn't any old baby.

0:10:58 > 0:11:02It's Justine Littlewood's little brother or sister.

0:11:13 > 0:11:20This baby connects us all - you, your dad, me.

0:11:20 > 0:11:26It makes us a family. And as soon as we get things properly organised,

0:11:26 > 0:11:32we want you to come home and stay with us for good.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35That's what I really came to tell you.

0:11:59 > 0:12:02Chocolate brownies - double quantity!

0:12:02 > 0:12:06Told you there was nothing to worry about.

0:12:06 > 0:12:12- It looks like an alien. - That's normal.- I think it's going to look like you.

0:12:12 > 0:12:17It's not every day I get told I've got a face like a baby's bum!

0:12:17 > 0:12:20You've done Goldilocks, you've seen Cinderella,

0:12:20 > 0:12:23but there's no-one quite like Beaker.

0:12:24 > 0:12:27- Stop it.- Stop what?!

0:12:30 > 0:12:33Well?

0:12:33 > 0:12:38Da-da! My book...with my name on the cover. My dream come true.

0:12:38 > 0:12:42- How cool is this? - It's mine.- Says who?

0:12:42 > 0:12:48- You'll all get your copies at the book launch tomorrow - personally signed by the author.- Oh, get her!

0:12:48 > 0:12:52Want to hear my other news? Local TV are coming here to film it.

0:12:52 > 0:12:56- No way!- Really?- Yeah. ..Where are you going?

0:12:56 > 0:13:03- I've got to read this before tomorrow.- Why?- Keep up, Cam. The TV people will want to interview me.

0:13:03 > 0:13:07OK, just remember, it's fiction - not your life story.

0:13:07 > 0:13:12- How is SHE gonna read 300 pages before her bedtime?- Just watch me!

0:15:02 > 0:15:03No!

0:15:10 > 0:15:14LOUD KNOCK ON DOOR Open up, Justine!

0:15:14 > 0:15:19- Gimme my book back!- Don't know what you're talking about.

0:15:19 > 0:15:23When I woke up this morning, my bedroom ponged of that bog water

0:15:23 > 0:15:28you call perfume. ..New hair... and even more lip gloss than usual.

0:15:28 > 0:15:31- So? - You're after hogging the limelight.

0:15:31 > 0:15:38You know what TV's like. They'll be looking for one of the gorgeous kids to interview. C'est moi.

0:15:53 > 0:15:58Think again, spewbrain. They'll be interviewing me - the star - Trudy.

0:15:58 > 0:16:03- Says who?- Um, sorry, what letters does her name begin with?

0:16:03 > 0:16:07- T and R - like, um, Tracy. - Is that the best you can do?

0:16:07 > 0:16:13- Trudy's a tough kid, who's Queen of the Scammers. Who else could it be?- Even in the last chapter?

0:16:15 > 0:16:22- Course.- You should have gone to the end like I always do. Because if you had, you'd know...

0:16:22 > 0:16:24So you did nick my book!

0:16:33 > 0:16:39Let's set up downstairs to start with - then later on today, we'll have the shot of the building.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42- Great. Yeah.- Get the stuff, OK?

0:16:42 > 0:16:45- It's him!- Oh, yeah! ..Who?

0:16:45 > 0:16:49- The bloke who interviewed Paula Radcliffe on the telly.- So?

0:16:49 > 0:16:52He met Paula. The champion runner!

0:16:52 > 0:16:56I haven't met her. He has. He actually met her! He was...

0:16:56 > 0:16:59You made your point.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01Cuckoo, cuckoo.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22- You missed breakfast. - Um, I overslept.

0:17:27 > 0:17:33- This book is about me. - Maybe a little.- Definitely a lottle. You haven't read it.

0:17:33 > 0:17:37I know this is exciting - everyone is hyped up - but it's Cam's day,

0:17:37 > 0:17:40- so no muscling in.- Oh...me?

0:17:50 > 0:17:54- Oh, fantastic equipment! - Hi. I wondered if you'd mind...

0:17:54 > 0:17:58- Oi! Fingers off!- It's OK. I know my way around a camera.

0:17:58 > 0:18:02- Can I be your assistant? - Too busy, sonny.- Sonny(?)

0:18:02 > 0:18:07- I wondered...- Listen, Charlie Keane has work to do. Run along, kids.

0:18:07 > 0:18:12Sonny(?) Meet the guy who put the P in patronising.

0:18:13 > 0:18:16I'm Cam and I am confident.

0:18:16 > 0:18:18I will not give in to nerves.

0:18:18 > 0:18:22I'm Cam and I am confident. I will not give in to...

0:18:22 > 0:18:26- NERVES! Oh! - Might I suggest some lip gloss?

0:18:26 > 0:18:31- What?- Absolutely essential if you're on camera.- Cam, why has your face gone a funny colour?

0:18:31 > 0:18:37Because all the blood in her body has drained to her feet. She's clearly crippled with nerves.

0:18:37 > 0:18:42Wouldn't be surprised... if they turn that camera on... and Cam's completely struck dumb.

0:18:42 > 0:18:45Thanks, Crash(!)

0:18:51 > 0:18:54- KNOCK AT DOOR Yes?- So...?

0:18:54 > 0:18:58- So?- Well, what did you think?

0:18:58 > 0:19:01Loved every single word.

0:19:01 > 0:19:04Great. That's a weight off my mind.

0:19:04 > 0:19:06And you were OK about the ending?

0:19:06 > 0:19:10- Best part of the book.- Brilliant.

0:19:10 > 0:19:14- Tell you the truth, I was worried you wouldn't like it.- As if.

0:19:14 > 0:19:17But I'm hungry.

0:19:17 > 0:19:20- In a minute.- But...- In a minute!

0:19:21 > 0:19:26My spag bol's on life-support. When are we sitting these kids down?

0:19:26 > 0:19:30Sorry. I didn't realise it took so long to set everything up.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33Or for Mr Big Shot to do his hair!

0:19:40 > 0:19:43The TV crew are ONLY interviewing Cam and I.

0:19:43 > 0:19:48But if you pay me the ridiculously small amount of 50p each,

0:19:48 > 0:19:53- I'll get you featured.- If I pay you a pound, can I go on twice?

0:19:53 > 0:19:58- It's not even definite they'll interview YOU.- Nice hat, Justine.

0:19:58 > 0:20:01Still haven't read the last chapter then, Beaker?

0:20:01 > 0:20:04Yeah, nice! OK, clear it.

0:20:04 > 0:20:10I suggest we do my interview first, so Cam can see there's nothing to worry about.

0:20:10 > 0:20:15- Your interview?- Me being the inspiration for the book. - Who are you exactly?- Tracy.

0:20:15 > 0:20:19T-r-a-c-y. Without an E. You might want to subtitle that underneath me.

0:20:19 > 0:20:23You're a riot. But I'm here to interview the writer, no-one else.

0:20:27 > 0:20:34- We'll have you and all the kids on camera for the book signing.- I don't DO walk-ons.- ..Like the hat.

0:20:34 > 0:20:39- You go first in the queue. - ..Hey, Beaker, look who the main attraction is now?

0:20:39 > 0:20:44- Mr Keane, how was Paula Radcliffe? - What?- When you interviewed her?

0:20:44 > 0:20:48Sorry, Charlie Keane's working. You go to the back of the group.

0:20:51 > 0:20:53And...action.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01This is the place where my book

0:21:01 > 0:21:04The Dumping Ground Kids is set.

0:21:04 > 0:21:05Cut!

0:21:08 > 0:21:10Action!

0:21:10 > 0:21:12And action!

0:21:12 > 0:21:16OK. This care home, and the children in it, inspired me...

0:21:16 > 0:21:18Cut! CUT!

0:21:21 > 0:21:24Sorry. We limit her contact with humans.

0:21:24 > 0:21:31- Please. Bribe her. Lock her in a cupboard. But keep her out of my hair!- That's easier said than done.

0:21:31 > 0:21:37- Tracy is very...persistent. - I'm running out of time. I may have to drop this item.

0:21:37 > 0:21:40Don't do that. My publishers will go spare.

0:21:40 > 0:21:43An idea. Just very quickly...

0:21:43 > 0:21:48- interview Tracy.- Look, I don't need anything but a chat with YOU. The kids are just colour.

0:21:48 > 0:21:51You wouldn't have to run it.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55OK, deal.

0:21:59 > 0:22:03OK, Tracy, very briefly, what's the story behind the book?

0:22:03 > 0:22:07- Well... - Tell them about the last chapter!

0:22:07 > 0:22:08Cut!

0:22:08 > 0:22:10Er, help!

0:22:13 > 0:22:15What's going on?

0:22:16 > 0:22:21- Tracy hasn't even finished your book.- You said you'd read it.

0:22:21 > 0:22:23I have! Nearly.

0:22:23 > 0:22:28- Just got the last chapter to finish. Give me 10 minutes. I'll read it. - Maybe that's not a great idea.

0:22:28 > 0:22:33No, no, the kid's right. The book is based on her.

0:22:33 > 0:22:37You read it. Good idea. Now, run along.

0:22:41 > 0:22:44OK, Cam, let's get this in the can.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48What're you planning to write next?

0:22:48 > 0:22:52The sequel to The Dumping Ground Kids.

0:22:52 > 0:22:58- Great. That's you done...and me. - Shall I get Tracy?- No, job done.

0:22:58 > 0:23:03- You said you'd talk to her.- And you said we didn't have to run it.

0:23:03 > 0:23:05I am never gonna speak to you again!

0:23:05 > 0:23:10- Sorry.- You do realise I am going to sue.- Tracy, please...- I hate you!

0:23:10 > 0:23:12Your book makes me a laughing stock.

0:23:12 > 0:23:17- That's just not true. - (This is juicy. Keep rolling.)- Cut.

0:23:23 > 0:23:28- You've made me out to be a lonely saddo.- That's Trudy.- But Trudy's me!

0:23:28 > 0:23:30No. She's made-up.

0:23:30 > 0:23:36Trudy's not real. I need her still living in a kids' home, so she can star in the next book.

0:23:36 > 0:23:41You've written about me. You think I'm gonna be here till I'm 16.

0:23:41 > 0:23:45- No-one's going to foster me. - Of course they will.

0:23:45 > 0:23:49So, now you've stolen my life story, you're off?

0:23:57 > 0:24:03Goodbye, Cam. Now you're nearly famous, you won't be coming back.

0:24:03 > 0:24:06- Have a nice life, Cam.- Oh, Tracy!

0:24:11 > 0:24:13What happened to the spag bol?

0:24:13 > 0:24:18Sorry, mate, the spag bol gave up the ghost hours ago. It's mush.

0:24:19 > 0:24:23Mr Keane! Can I have a chat with you about Paula?

0:24:23 > 0:24:26- What is wrong with you? - A picture would do.

0:24:26 > 0:24:31- How many times do I have to say this? Charlie Keane is working.- Oi!

0:24:31 > 0:24:34All she wants is a chat. How much can that hurt?

0:24:34 > 0:24:38Nearly finished. I'll be glad to get out of this MAD house.

0:24:38 > 0:24:42Don't worry, Jackie. I'll get you a picture.

0:25:09 > 0:25:11Oi, Charlie!

0:25:13 > 0:25:15BOTH: Aw!

0:25:18 > 0:25:20Gotcha!

0:25:35 > 0:25:40# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see my through

0:25:40 > 0:25:43- # And the fight won't get me down - No! No!

0:25:43 > 0:25:46# My dreams will turn things All around

0:25:46 > 0:25:51# With a smile upon my face I can see a better place

0:25:51 > 0:25:55- # It doesn't matter What may come my way...- No! No!

0:25:55 > 0:26:00# Believe me now I will win some day. #