Crash & Trashed/There's No-One Quite Like Granpa

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0:00:06 > 0:00:11# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

0:00:11 > 0:00:15- # It doesn't matter What may come my way...- No! No!

0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Believe me now I will win some day. #

0:00:22 > 0:00:26- Oi! What did you do that for?- It was an accident. Keep your wig on.

0:00:26 > 0:00:31- There might be something from Cam. - She's been in New York for ages.

0:00:31 > 0:00:35Thinking of Tracy Beaker all the time she's there... As if!

0:00:35 > 0:00:39Duke, he won't give me the milk.

0:00:39 > 0:00:41Give Tracy the milk.

0:00:41 > 0:00:45- He got milk all over me! - Crash, for goodness sake!

0:00:50 > 0:00:55You should take it out his pocket money when he smashes things.

0:00:57 > 0:01:00Eugh! Sugar...

0:01:01 > 0:01:04Ready now? Come on, boys, here we go.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Nathan...

0:01:10 > 0:01:14- There's tonnes of washing to be done.- I know.- You'll get it done?

0:01:14 > 0:01:17- Yeah.- Good.

0:01:18 > 0:01:22OK, Marco the wonder dog, drop the ball!

0:01:24 > 0:01:28Marco! Bad dog! Bad dog!

0:01:31 > 0:01:38PO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OST!

0:01:38 > 0:01:40Ah-ah-ah!

0:01:40 > 0:01:43It's from New York!

0:01:43 > 0:01:47Molly, why have you sent away for a free voucher for toilet cleaner?

0:01:47 > 0:01:52- It's for your birthday.- Thank you. It's very kind of you.

0:01:52 > 0:01:56- You can't have it yet. It's for your birthday.- Anything from Grandpa?

0:01:56 > 0:01:59Not today. Sorry.

0:01:59 > 0:02:03- Is there anything there for me? - As if!

0:02:03 > 0:02:06Look what Cam sent me!

0:02:25 > 0:02:29Don't even THINK of asking to borrow it.

0:02:29 > 0:02:34- I wouldn't be seen dead in it.- Did I forget to mention it's from Cam,

0:02:34 > 0:02:38- who is in New York...- Tracy! - ..thinking of Tracy Beaker always?

0:02:38 > 0:02:41New York, New York...

0:02:44 > 0:02:47Boy germs! Yuk!

0:02:49 > 0:02:54- We must do something about Crash. - I must do something about this.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57Nathan!

0:02:57 > 0:03:01- There's hardly a dish left in one piece.- What?- Crash!

0:03:01 > 0:03:03Oh...

0:03:03 > 0:03:07- This pile isn't getting smaller. - I think it's breeding.- From Cam.

0:03:07 > 0:03:10The wrinkles are from the post.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15Nathan will iron it for you.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18Aw, thanks!

0:03:18 > 0:03:22- Is Elaine working with Crash and anger-management techniques?- Yes.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25Well, they're not very effective.

0:03:25 > 0:03:29I mean...I could have a word with him, if you'd like.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33- He's a reasonable dude when he's not blowing his top.- Or you could...

0:03:33 > 0:03:36YOU'RE BURNING THE IRONING!

0:03:50 > 0:03:54I don't suppose that either one of you wants to tell Tracy...

0:03:56 > 0:03:58Idiot!

0:03:58 > 0:04:02- I'll buy you a new top. I'll buy you two!- You can't buy one like that!

0:04:02 > 0:04:07- It was special.- I'm trying to watch something.- It says "cool iron"!

0:04:07 > 0:04:11- Shut up about your stupid, boring T-shirt.- You just butt out!

0:04:11 > 0:04:16- "I've got a 2 T-shirt from NY. I'm special"(!)- What would you know?

0:04:16 > 0:04:20Nobody ever sent YOU anything in the mail. Not even a postcard.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22That's how special you are.

0:04:47 > 0:04:52What happened to those visualisation techniques we worked on?

0:04:52 > 0:04:55To help you with your anger?

0:04:55 > 0:04:57Remember?

0:04:57 > 0:05:02Every time we feel anger, we make beautiful pictures in our head

0:05:02 > 0:05:05and we calm down.

0:05:05 > 0:05:08Shall we give it a try?

0:05:08 > 0:05:10Hm?

0:05:11 > 0:05:12Deep breath.

0:05:16 > 0:05:21And we're walking through a grassy meadow full of lovely flowers

0:05:21 > 0:05:25towards the beautiful mountain...

0:05:43 > 0:05:48- It's a waste of time.- Perhaps we're not trying hard enough.

0:05:48 > 0:05:52- I do try.- Things got really out of hand today.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54Someone might have got hurt.

0:05:54 > 0:05:58We wondered if you might be happier somewhere else.

0:05:58 > 0:06:00< No!

0:06:00 > 0:06:03How could you be so dumb?

0:06:03 > 0:06:08- Nathan, haven't you got the washing to do?- This is more important.

0:06:11 > 0:06:16Think of a beautiful scene. The blue...sky...and...

0:06:18 > 0:06:21BANGING

0:06:48 > 0:06:50I don't want to hurt people.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52I know.

0:06:52 > 0:06:55I get angry. Just like him.

0:06:55 > 0:06:57You're not like your dad.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00I wanted to hurt Tracy.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02But you didn't.

0:07:02 > 0:07:05You only damage things, not people.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20You're not like him.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40He's got to go.

0:07:40 > 0:07:44- That's a bit harsh.- He's defiant, irresponsible...- He's just a kid.

0:07:44 > 0:07:48That's the problem - he's one of the kids.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50He can't help being a kid.

0:07:50 > 0:07:52He's supposed to be a care worker.

0:07:52 > 0:07:58- I thought you were talking about Crash!- Keep up, Duke.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02"Keep up, Duke"(!)

0:08:02 > 0:08:05I've already said I'm sorry.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07It was just a stupid T-shirt.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12That goes with the coloureds.

0:08:12 > 0:08:17- Will you help me with something? - I've really got to do this.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19It's really, really important.

0:08:25 > 0:08:29- MARCO BARKS - What are you doing? Get off, Marco!

0:08:29 > 0:08:34- Nath, what did you want?- It's time for a big clean-out of your rooms.

0:08:41 > 0:08:46The squirrel's in the garden eating all your vegetables!

0:08:56 > 0:08:59Get out of it, squirrels! Waaargh! Waaargh!

0:09:00 > 0:09:03Chipped.

0:09:03 > 0:09:04Not chipped.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08Cracked.

0:09:19 > 0:09:21Get out.

0:09:27 > 0:09:29Throw it at me.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31I won't duck.

0:09:32 > 0:09:35Look, I'm a show-off and a pain

0:09:35 > 0:09:40and I'm really, really sorry I made you mad.

0:09:40 > 0:09:43OK, I'm the biggest pain in the world.

0:09:43 > 0:09:48Worse than Shelley with the nit comb. Worse than Elaine the Pain.

0:09:49 > 0:09:53- Nobody's worse than Elaine the Pain.- Agreed.

0:09:53 > 0:09:56Now, come with me.

0:10:17 > 0:10:22NA-A-A-A-ATHA-A-A-AN!

0:10:29 > 0:10:31DA-DA!

0:10:31 > 0:10:35- It's for you.- Is this a joke or something?- Crash!

0:10:35 > 0:10:37It's a Crash cupboard.

0:10:41 > 0:10:44It's good, isn't it?

0:10:44 > 0:10:46- Wow!- Wait...

0:10:46 > 0:10:49Come on, everyone. Behind the door. Come on.

0:10:58 > 0:11:04Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash!

0:11:04 > 0:11:05- <- NATHAN!

0:11:05 > 0:11:10You've been making playhouses when I told you to do the chores!

0:11:10 > 0:11:15- It's not a playhouse.- Not now, Crash. Nathan, I'm sick...- Try it.

0:11:15 > 0:11:20Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley!

0:11:20 > 0:11:24Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley!

0:11:24 > 0:11:30Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley!

0:11:31 > 0:11:33HURRAY!

0:11:35 > 0:11:37It's, um, an anger-management room.

0:11:37 > 0:11:41- This is what you've done instead of the washing?- It wasn't his fault.

0:11:41 > 0:11:44- It was my idea.- Was it now?

0:11:44 > 0:11:48- I'll...do it now. - No, no. It's too late.

0:11:50 > 0:11:54You keep up the good work - I'LL do the washing.

0:11:54 > 0:11:58After I've phoned Cam in New York and asked her to get a new T-shirt,

0:11:58 > 0:12:03- the cost of which... - Comes out my wages.

0:12:05 > 0:12:08Well? What are you waiting for?

0:12:08 > 0:12:12Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash!

0:12:12 > 0:12:16Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash!

0:12:16 > 0:12:17HURRAY!

0:12:17 > 0:12:20Don't even think of switching off.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23I know where you live.

0:12:24 > 0:12:28No! You listen to me. I want my grandpa home now!

0:12:28 > 0:12:32- Jackie?- Run a nursing home? You people couldn't run a bath!

0:12:32 > 0:12:36Jackie, we need to have a talk about your grandpa.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39What do you know about it?

0:12:40 > 0:12:43He's never gonna leave that place.

0:12:43 > 0:12:45He's got Old-timer's disease.

0:12:45 > 0:12:50- Yeah? How'd you like fist-in- your-face disease?- Yeah?- Yeah.

0:12:56 > 0:12:59MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYS

0:13:13 > 0:13:17- Hi, Michael! - She remembered my name.

0:13:20 > 0:13:25I shouted at 'em like you suggested but they just kept being reasonable.

0:13:25 > 0:13:27I hate it when they do that.

0:13:27 > 0:13:31It's rubbish about him being ill! It's so unfair.

0:13:31 > 0:13:35- Your poor grandpa. - I've had just about enough.

0:13:35 > 0:13:37It's time for action.

0:13:37 > 0:13:41Ah! I trust you'll be in need of some expert assistance?

0:13:41 > 0:13:45DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

0:13:55 > 0:13:59MUSIC: "Favourite Things" by Big Brovaz

0:14:02 > 0:14:06- Hi, Louise. Do you want a drink? - Thanks, Michael.

0:14:08 > 0:14:11- Where's mine? - Don't let me interrupt you.

0:14:11 > 0:14:16- Carry on dancing and just pretend I'm not here.- Why pretend,

0:14:16 > 0:14:18when we can have the real thing?

0:14:18 > 0:14:22If you need anything else, I'll get it for you.

0:14:23 > 0:14:27Michael's quite...interesting, isn't he?

0:14:28 > 0:14:30Yeah, so are cockroaches.

0:14:31 > 0:14:34Dumping Ground, down to the lake...

0:14:34 > 0:14:37- KNOCK AT DOOR - Tracy, have you seen Jackie?

0:14:40 > 0:14:42In here.

0:14:42 > 0:14:46Oh, good, you've calmed down a bit. I just...

0:14:46 > 0:14:49- What are you two up to?- Shelley!

0:14:49 > 0:14:52- Honestly, this place!- Sorry.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55I'll talk to you later, Jackie, OK?

0:15:05 > 0:15:08I, um...

0:15:08 > 0:15:11- must get this damp looked at.- Yeah.

0:15:15 > 0:15:19MUSIC: "Favourite Things" by Big Brovaz

0:15:26 > 0:15:29- Doing a spot of spying, are we?- Sh!

0:15:30 > 0:15:35Ah, Louise! It's a pity she only goes for good-looking boys, really.

0:15:35 > 0:15:40- Hmm...is that why she turned you down?- I... Well, she, I...

0:15:40 > 0:15:45Well, um...knowing her so well, we could give you a few tips.

0:15:45 > 0:15:49- Tips?- Oh, yeah. How to woo the fair lady.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51If you were to ask nicely.

0:15:56 > 0:16:00- # ..What you want?- I'd like a man who would take care of business

0:16:00 > 0:16:05# And still have the time to take me on a shopping spree... #

0:16:05 > 0:16:08Lol...Bouncer?

0:16:08 > 0:16:11I reckon she'd be really impressed.

0:16:11 > 0:16:15But...writing a love song?

0:16:16 > 0:16:19- Well, I don't know how.- Oh.

0:16:19 > 0:16:21Easy. All you need are feelings,

0:16:21 > 0:16:26a little help from your friends and a...musical instrument.

0:16:33 > 0:16:35So, you in?

0:16:38 > 0:16:41- Binoculars?- Check.

0:16:41 > 0:16:44- Tins of food?- Check.

0:16:44 > 0:16:46Can opener?

0:16:46 > 0:16:48Check.

0:16:48 > 0:16:53- Lemon-scented baby wipes? - Lemon-scented what?

0:16:53 > 0:16:55Trust me, they're great.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04- Let's roll.- Go! Go! Go!

0:17:05 > 0:17:08DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

0:17:38 > 0:17:42- Norma, what are you doing here?- Sh! SHE MOUTHS

0:17:42 > 0:17:45- I'm taking you home.- About time!

0:17:53 > 0:17:57- What's happening? - Lol's in there with Michael.

0:17:57 > 0:17:59He's torturing him.

0:17:59 > 0:18:02My brother's far more subtle than that.

0:18:02 > 0:18:08Look, if you're interested, come back at 1.30 - seats at all prices.

0:18:08 > 0:18:12- Now go. Go on! - WAILING COMES FROM BEHIND DOOR

0:18:17 > 0:18:19Yes, we made it!

0:18:19 > 0:18:21Ah!

0:18:22 > 0:18:24Sh! There's...

0:18:24 > 0:18:27there's somebody here.

0:18:42 > 0:18:45VOICES COME FROM TV

0:18:45 > 0:18:48Who are you?

0:18:48 > 0:18:52- The worst burglar in the world, that's who!- I'm no criminal!

0:18:52 > 0:18:54- I'm an estate agent.- A what?

0:18:54 > 0:18:57Jackie, they sell houses.

0:18:58 > 0:19:03Selling the house? But you can't. Where will we live?

0:19:05 > 0:19:09JIG PLAYS

0:19:15 > 0:19:19- He signed the papers. - I most certainly did not!

0:19:19 > 0:19:22..Did I?

0:19:22 > 0:19:24Look, I'll call my office.

0:19:26 > 0:19:28Yeah, they'd be very interested

0:19:28 > 0:19:31to find out how cosy you've been!

0:19:31 > 0:19:35- Well, I can explain that. - Get out of my house, go on.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37Go on, get out!

0:19:44 > 0:19:49- Hi, Lou! Come to get your surprise. - Surprise, what's he on about?

0:19:49 > 0:19:51Don't know, probably an idiotic...

0:19:51 > 0:19:54HE WHISPERS

0:19:54 > 0:19:59Louise, what you waiting for? Go to the lounge and get your surprise.

0:19:59 > 0:20:01Justine?

0:20:01 > 0:20:03This will do.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10Is...

0:20:10 > 0:20:13is something burning?

0:20:14 > 0:20:16Grandpa!

0:20:16 > 0:20:21- Hello, Norma, just getting a blaze going.- What, the entire house?

0:20:21 > 0:20:24Why does he keep calling you Norma?

0:20:27 > 0:20:30MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYS

0:20:31 > 0:20:33Michael?

0:20:37 > 0:20:40- SAY SOMETHING!- Wait, wait, wait!

0:20:40 > 0:20:41Hi, Louise.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46Um... I wanted you to hear something.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51He's gonna do it! He's gonna do it!

0:20:59 > 0:21:04# Lou...Lou...Lou

0:21:04 > 0:21:08# Lou...ise

0:21:10 > 0:21:13# Please don't tease I'm begging you, please

0:21:13 > 0:21:17# I'm down on my knees You're holding the keys

0:21:17 > 0:21:19# To my heart

0:21:21 > 0:21:25# Please, don't tease I'm begging you please

0:21:25 > 0:21:29# I'm down on my knees You're holding the keys

0:21:29 > 0:21:31# To my heart. #

0:21:42 > 0:21:45- Come on!- Voice of an angel!

0:21:45 > 0:21:48FEEDBACK WHISTLES

0:22:01 > 0:22:05- What have you done? - What have you done?

0:22:07 > 0:22:09Ahem!

0:22:17 > 0:22:20# Michael, Michael

0:22:20 > 0:22:23# Lend me a cycle. #

0:22:29 > 0:22:32Mmm! Mince and beans!

0:22:32 > 0:22:35Just like the old days, eh, Norma?

0:22:35 > 0:22:38For the last time! Her name isn't...

0:22:38 > 0:22:41KNOCK AT DOOR

0:22:46 > 0:22:49- It's Shelley.- What are you doing? - Letting her in.

0:22:49 > 0:22:53- I don't think so! - But your grandpa, he's...

0:22:53 > 0:22:55- He's not very well.- He's fine.

0:22:55 > 0:22:58He's just...tired.

0:22:58 > 0:23:01You open that door and I'll never talk to you again.

0:23:01 > 0:23:04Less earache for me, then!

0:23:04 > 0:23:07Hiya, Shelley. Come to join in our little sit-in?

0:23:07 > 0:23:09Whoa!

0:23:09 > 0:23:10Jackie!

0:23:12 > 0:23:15- Jackie.- Jackie!

0:23:15 > 0:23:20He's not going back to that home, OK? It's making him ill!

0:23:20 > 0:23:24- He was ill before, Jackie, you KNOW that.- He's all right.

0:23:24 > 0:23:29- He just gets...confused.- He thinks she's someone called Norma.

0:23:31 > 0:23:33Jackie's mum.

0:23:33 > 0:23:35My dad was the same way.

0:23:35 > 0:23:40- Your dad?- He had Alzheimer's disease - same as Jackie's grandpa.

0:23:40 > 0:23:43I looked after him for a long time until...

0:23:43 > 0:23:47- I couldn't cope any more. - Couldn't cope? You?

0:23:47 > 0:23:51- There's no need to be sarcastic. - I-I'm not.

0:23:51 > 0:23:53Oh.

0:23:54 > 0:23:56You had to look after your dad?

0:23:56 > 0:23:59JACKIE UNBOLTS THE DOOR

0:24:03 > 0:24:05KNOCK AT DOOR

0:24:06 > 0:24:09Come to laugh at me again?

0:24:09 > 0:24:14I didn't laugh. Listen, I've got to go.

0:24:14 > 0:24:16I'm meeting my boyfriend.

0:24:18 > 0:24:20Oh...right.

0:24:20 > 0:24:23Hey, Lou. Was that top comedy or what?

0:24:23 > 0:24:27Actually, it was really sweet. Thanks, Michael.

0:24:28 > 0:24:32MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYS

0:24:39 > 0:24:44I don't regret a second of the time I spent looking after my dad.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46It's just...

0:24:46 > 0:24:49I missed out on being young.

0:24:49 > 0:24:51I don't want to be young.

0:24:51 > 0:24:54I want things how they used to be.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57Your grandpa can't look after you any more.

0:24:57 > 0:25:02He needs looking after, by people who really know what they're doing.

0:25:22 > 0:25:26Hayfever...creeps up on you when you least expect it.

0:25:30 > 0:25:35# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

0:25:35 > 0:25:39- # And the fight won't get me down - No! No!

0:25:39 > 0:25:41# My dreams will turn things All around

0:25:41 > 0:25:46# With a smile upon my face I can see a better place

0:25:46 > 0:25:49- # It doesn't matter What may come my way...- No! No!

0:25:49 > 0:25:52# Believe me now I will win some day. #

0:25:52 > 0:25:55E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk