I Am Not in Love

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0:00:17 > 0:00:20My new phone is amazing.

0:00:20 > 0:00:22I can call any time, from anywhere.

0:00:22 > 0:00:26That could be why they call it a mobile.

0:00:26 > 0:00:29- PHONE BEEPS - You've got a voice message.

0:00:31 > 0:00:33I knew that.

0:00:33 > 0:00:36- I'll listen to it later.- You don't know how to pick it up, do you?

0:00:36 > 0:00:41- Not exactly. But this morning I sent my first text. - You must be so proud.

0:00:44 > 0:00:48- When people don't know how to use their mobiles, they're asking for trouble.- Oh, no!

0:00:48 > 0:00:50I don't like the sound of that.

0:00:54 > 0:00:57HUMS TO HERSELF

0:01:01 > 0:01:05- We're gonna get caught. - Think positive and keep watch.

0:01:05 > 0:01:09I should never have let you talk me into this.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14Act normal!

0:01:17 > 0:01:19This is the stupidest plan I've ever heard.

0:01:19 > 0:01:25- Quit complaining and embrace the moment. - I am... It's never going to work.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27Dear Duke...

0:01:27 > 0:01:30Dear Duke... I love you!

0:01:30 > 0:01:33I love you too, man. I'm sorry if I moan a lot but...

0:01:33 > 0:01:39No, you stupid idiot! That's what Shelley says to Duke in the message.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42Oh. I knew that.

0:01:42 > 0:01:45It's no good. It needs to be more flowery.

0:01:45 > 0:01:50- More romantic.- You see? There's where your whole plan falls apart.

0:01:50 > 0:01:53We can't do romance.

0:01:55 > 0:01:58Did I tell you my parting's down the middle?

0:01:58 > 0:02:01- You've got lots of partings, everywhere.- Oh. Good.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03Hayley?!

0:02:03 > 0:02:05- That's bubble-gum!- Bubble-gum?

0:02:05 > 0:02:07We'll get the scissors.

0:02:07 > 0:02:11No, no... bubble-gum's fine.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14Well, um, it's definitely an improvement.

0:02:14 > 0:02:15Thanks.

0:02:17 > 0:02:20- Tracy! There you are.- So?

0:02:20 > 0:02:23Well, we've got to write this poem.

0:02:23 > 0:02:25A love poem for, um...

0:02:25 > 0:02:30- For class.- Yes. We need a few romantic lines and you're the most talented, creative person we know.

0:02:30 > 0:02:35What stuff like "You're my sun, my stars, without you I'm in total darkness"?

0:02:37 > 0:02:39That kind of rubbish.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42- That's exactly what we need. - You're really good at this, Wilson.

0:02:42 > 0:02:46Oh, please! It's not as if it requires any intelligence.

0:02:46 > 0:02:52"I send you a thousand kisses, but send me none in return as they burn a fire through my soul."

0:02:54 > 0:02:57I mean, excuse me while I go puke for a week.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59Fire through my soul.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01That's really good, Tracy, thanks!

0:03:01 > 0:03:04Oh, wow, Duke's going to be totally...

0:03:04 > 0:03:05Duke's going to be totally...

0:03:05 > 0:03:09here any minute. We should finish our homework.

0:03:09 > 0:03:13Deep down inside, you two really are romantic.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18Very, very deep down.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22We couldn't find scissors, so we got pliers.

0:03:24 > 0:03:26He's never going to fall for it.

0:03:26 > 0:03:28PHONE BEEPS

0:03:34 > 0:03:36"Dear Duke...

0:03:41 > 0:03:45- "You are my moon, my stars, my everything..."- I stand corrected.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50We've got to return Shelley's phone.

0:03:50 > 0:03:53Oh, no... what if she's already realised it's missing?!

0:03:53 > 0:03:55Man, you need to learn to relax.

0:04:06 > 0:04:09Ow! Tracy, help me get this junk out my hair!

0:04:09 > 0:04:12Touch your hair? I don't think so.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15Please? My mum won't be impressed if I turn up like this.

0:04:17 > 0:04:19Hold still.

0:04:21 > 0:04:23You're visiting your mum tomorrow?

0:04:23 > 0:04:28Yeah. But I'm not looking forward to it, though. Well, I am...

0:04:28 > 0:04:35- but it's the first time I've seen her since...- Don't worry, I'm sure she'll be pleased to see you.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Well, well.

0:04:39 > 0:04:43I never thought I'd see the day Tracy Beaker had a crush on a boy.

0:04:43 > 0:04:47- What?! I don't even like Wilson! - Thanks very much.

0:04:47 > 0:04:51It's sickeningly obvious. Tracy Beaker is in love.

0:04:51 > 0:04:55I am not in love!

0:04:55 > 0:04:57He's an ugly, boring geek!

0:04:57 > 0:04:59It's OK. I'm not offended.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02Well, you should be!

0:05:12 > 0:05:15Having technical difficulties, Duke?

0:05:15 > 0:05:19I got a text message but I can't work out who it's from.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21What did it say?

0:05:21 > 0:05:23That's private.

0:05:23 > 0:05:26You could always phone back the number the text came from.

0:05:26 > 0:05:32- See who answers. - Great idea! You're a genius!

0:05:34 > 0:05:37Hello?

0:05:37 > 0:05:41Don't you just hate that when nobody leaves a message?

0:05:41 > 0:05:44Er, yeah. So rude.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46A rose? For me?

0:05:46 > 0:05:50I thought it'd be nice for you to grow in the garden.

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Nobody's ever given me a rose before.

0:05:52 > 0:05:55Oh, glad I could be the first.

0:05:58 > 0:06:01Hi, Duke. Bye, Duke.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Funny, isn't it?

0:06:03 > 0:06:09- What is?- Funny how sometimes you just don't realise how other people feel about you.

0:06:09 > 0:06:12How you can spend every day with somebody, and think you know them.

0:06:12 > 0:06:17Then you find out they have these feelings you never even knew existed.

0:06:17 > 0:06:21- Did someone say something?- No, I was just saying. It could make things pretty awkward.

0:06:21 > 0:06:27OK, listen. I don't know what Justine's been saying, but she's a liar! I do not fancy Wilson.

0:06:27 > 0:06:29I'm totally cool around him.

0:06:29 > 0:06:32I am the Queen of Cool.

0:06:40 > 0:06:45CAR HORN BEEPS That's for me.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47Tracy!

0:06:49 > 0:06:55- Before you jump down my throat... I'm really sorry I'm late. - It's OK. I totally understand.

0:06:55 > 0:06:59You understand? You mean you're not going to spend the afternoon trying to hurt my feelings?

0:06:59 > 0:07:02Why would I want to do that?

0:07:02 > 0:07:04Tracy! See you later!

0:07:04 > 0:07:07Yeah, bye, whatever. Now look what you made me do!

0:07:07 > 0:07:11- Just leave me alone!- You OK?

0:07:11 > 0:07:16I was distracted. Not by Wilson - by the sun.

0:07:16 > 0:07:17It was in my eyes.

0:07:25 > 0:07:32- Sorry.- Could we have a private chat? There's something I want to get off my chest.

0:07:32 > 0:07:36There are things I'd like to say too.

0:07:37 > 0:07:39Right.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42OK, in my office after lunch?

0:07:48 > 0:07:53I said bye to Wilson because he said it to me first. It would have been rude not to.

0:07:54 > 0:07:57I wouldn't have minded whether I'd said goodbye to Wilson or not.

0:07:57 > 0:08:00I mean, I'm gonna see him later.

0:08:00 > 0:08:04But I think he's feeling a bit emotional. His mum's in hospital.

0:08:04 > 0:08:07Not that I'm worried about his mum or anything.

0:08:07 > 0:08:10I haven't even met her. He's the one who's worried.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12He plays the guitar - did I mention that?

0:08:12 > 0:08:15He's made quite an impression on you.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18Wilson? What do you mean?!

0:08:18 > 0:08:22Like, you haven't stopped talking about him all day.

0:08:22 > 0:08:26He's actually very, very annoying. Like you.

0:08:29 > 0:08:31Check it out.

0:08:31 > 0:08:34You stole Duke's phone?

0:08:34 > 0:08:37- I prefer the word "borrowed". - We'll be in so much trouble.

0:08:37 > 0:08:44We have to write Shelley a message from Duke. It has to be really romantic this time.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52It's about your new phone.

0:08:53 > 0:08:58I think I know where this is going, and it's time we cleared the air.

0:08:58 > 0:09:00Good.

0:09:00 > 0:09:04I'm concerned your new phone is, well, distracting you from your work.

0:09:04 > 0:09:06That's not my fault, is it?

0:09:06 > 0:09:09Frankly, I think it is.

0:09:10 > 0:09:14But I thought I was your moon, your stars, your everything?

0:09:14 > 0:09:15I beg your pardon?

0:09:15 > 0:09:18There's no use denying it.

0:09:18 > 0:09:21I saved the text you sent me. Look.

0:09:22 > 0:09:26Oh, I don't seem to have my phone right now.

0:09:26 > 0:09:28I think there's been some mistake.

0:09:28 > 0:09:33- PHONE BEEPS - It's a text message. From you.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36Me?!

0:09:37 > 0:09:40"Roses grow in my heart for you.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42"All my love...Duck."

0:09:44 > 0:09:47It seems you've misspelled your own name.

0:09:48 > 0:09:50It's the kids.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55I knew that.

0:09:56 > 0:09:58Quick! Shelley's coming!

0:10:01 > 0:10:07House meeting. Tell everyone who's old enough to spell, I want them in here immediately.

0:10:07 > 0:10:08NOW!

0:10:12 > 0:10:14Right. OK, everyone.

0:10:14 > 0:10:18Someone has been sending Duke and me text messages.

0:10:18 > 0:10:21And now Duke's phone has gone missing.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23I want to know who's responsible.

0:10:23 > 0:10:27- What kind of messages? - The romantic kind!

0:10:27 > 0:10:30Something funny, Tracy Beaker?

0:10:30 > 0:10:32Actually, yes. Oh, go on, admit it, Shelley.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35As a practical joke, this one's pretty good.

0:10:35 > 0:10:39If the person with Duke's phone refuses to own up...

0:10:39 > 0:10:41You'll text them something mean?

0:10:46 > 0:10:49PHONE RINGS

0:10:51 > 0:10:53What?

0:11:00 > 0:11:02I have no idea how that got there.

0:11:02 > 0:11:06- Oh, really? - You think I did this?- Didn't you?

0:11:06 > 0:11:08I'm not even going to answer that.

0:11:08 > 0:11:13- In that case, you're on bathroom duty.- That's so unfair.

0:11:13 > 0:11:17It wasn't Tracy who sent the messages. I'm responsible.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20I hid Duke's phone in Tracy's bag.

0:11:20 > 0:11:22You were trying to get me into trouble?

0:11:22 > 0:11:24Thanks a lot!

0:11:25 > 0:11:29OK, Wilson, you can start on the bathroom right away.

0:11:35 > 0:11:39Somehow I don't think I'm ready for a mobile phone yet.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45- Phew! That was close!- You did this?

0:11:45 > 0:11:47You sent the text messages?

0:11:47 > 0:11:49At first I was against the whole thing...

0:11:49 > 0:11:54but now, I think it'll go down in history as a classic.

0:11:54 > 0:11:57But why did Wilson take the blame?

0:11:57 > 0:12:02How sweet. Looks like Tracy Beaker's got her own knight in shining armour.

0:12:02 > 0:12:05I don't need a knight in shining armour.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28- I know you didn't do it, so why'd you take the blame?- Erm...

0:12:28 > 0:12:30I love the smell of disinfectant?

0:12:30 > 0:12:36- I can look after myself, Wilson. I don't need you.- I didn't want you to get in trouble.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39I shouldn't have taken the blame. I'm an idiot.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41I hate the smell of disinfectant.

0:12:42 > 0:12:45I suppose I could keep you company.

0:12:45 > 0:12:46I'd like that.

0:12:49 > 0:12:55- Tracy?- Yeah?- Would you come to the hospital with me tomorrow?

0:12:55 > 0:12:57You want me to come to see your mum?

0:12:57 > 0:13:01Only if you want to. It's just I don't want to go alone. And...

0:13:01 > 0:13:04well...the truth is...

0:13:04 > 0:13:06I really like you, Tracy Beaker.

0:13:09 > 0:13:10That's nice.

0:13:10 > 0:13:13But there's really no need to say it out loud.

0:13:16 > 0:13:20Maybe if you go this way and I go this...

0:13:23 > 0:13:26Yeah. OK... I like you.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29So what?

0:13:43 > 0:13:45E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk