Beam Me Up Scottie

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0:00:06 > 0:00:11# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

0:00:11 > 0:00:14- # It doesn't matter What may come my way...- No! No!

0:00:14 > 0:00:19# Believe me now I will win some day. #

0:00:32 > 0:00:35Argh-hhhh! Who's there?

0:00:36 > 0:00:39Marco? Oh, it's the middle of the night!

0:00:39 > 0:00:42Come quick! The aliens have landed!

0:00:42 > 0:00:44- Oh!- Come on!

0:00:50 > 0:00:54- What's up?- Marco's found aliens in the cupboard.

0:00:54 > 0:00:59- Again? What happened? They got lost on their way to Venus?- Who knows?

0:00:59 > 0:01:01Aha!

0:01:01 > 0:01:06They've gone, but they must be coming back.

0:01:06 > 0:01:08They left their communication device behind.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42Hi! I'm back! Did you miss me?

0:01:43 > 0:01:47Meadowhurst Farm was fantastic.

0:01:47 > 0:01:51I saw a lamb being born! Blood and everything.

0:01:51 > 0:01:57- I've got something to tell you. - What?- Well...- Good morning, girls!

0:01:57 > 0:02:00Come on, Hayley, get a move on.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02Big day today, remember?

0:02:02 > 0:02:05Mark and Helen will be here in a few hours!

0:02:05 > 0:02:08You're going out with Mark and Helen?

0:02:08 > 0:02:11I'm going to breakfast. You coming?

0:02:14 > 0:02:20- Woof-woof! Woof-woof!- Hi, everyone. What's happening? Did you miss me?

0:02:20 > 0:02:24- Hi, Layla.- How was Meadowhurst Farm?- It was fantastic.

0:02:24 > 0:02:29We had pancakes every day for breakfast.

0:02:29 > 0:02:31- Good doggie!- Grrr-rrrr!

0:02:33 > 0:02:36Next time we can go together.

0:02:38 > 0:02:40Hayley?

0:02:41 > 0:02:44Think she's nervous. ..Oop, stop it, boys!

0:02:45 > 0:02:50Come on! Come on, Marco. Come on, give. Give! Good boy, come on!

0:02:50 > 0:02:54The people who are taking you out today are in my office! Get washed!

0:02:54 > 0:02:57- Woof-woof! Woof-woof! - Get in your basket!

0:02:57 > 0:03:00I'll be in the garden later if you need to chat.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09- Woof-woof! Woof-woof!- Hello.- Hello.

0:03:09 > 0:03:14- This is Marco. That's enough barking, Marco, thank you.- Agh!

0:03:15 > 0:03:19He's very excited to meet you, as you can see...

0:03:19 > 0:03:24- and very fond of animals. Do you have a dog?- No. Martin's allergic.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29MARCO WHINES

0:03:32 > 0:03:35- Thank you, Layla.- It's OK.

0:03:36 > 0:03:40Don't worry, you can always go and visit.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43Go and visit? What?

0:03:43 > 0:03:45Hayley. Lucky girl.

0:03:45 > 0:03:48If it all works out with her new family,

0:03:48 > 0:03:51- she'll never have to eat my cooking again!- Why?

0:03:51 > 0:03:54Well, she's leaving today.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12Sorry, Layla, I thought she'd told you.

0:04:12 > 0:04:17- She said she would do as soon as you got back.- Well, she didn't!

0:04:19 > 0:04:24Well done, Duke, my son, you made a real mess of that.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37Thanks for telling me!

0:04:37 > 0:04:42I really wanted to, but every time I tried, I just couldn't.

0:04:42 > 0:04:45You'll always be my best friend.

0:04:46 > 0:04:49Best friends don't have secrets.

0:04:49 > 0:04:53I know. I'm sorry. I'm really going to miss you.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56Mark and Helen are really nice.

0:04:56 > 0:05:00They said you can visit, and I can come back here.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03- <- Hayley, Mark and Helen are here!

0:05:17 > 0:05:22- Hey, Batman. Lost the rest of your bat mates?- Go away.- It speaks!

0:05:22 > 0:05:24Want a hand down?

0:05:24 > 0:05:28There are other things I could be doing.

0:05:28 > 0:05:30If you hang upside down too long,

0:05:30 > 0:05:35blood drains out of your feet into your brain, and your eyes pop out.

0:05:35 > 0:05:39Yeah, could be very messy. Blood all over the place.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41I was coming down anyway.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51You all right, Layla?

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Hayley told you she's leaving?

0:05:59 > 0:06:05No! She didn't have the guts. I had to find out for myself.

0:06:05 > 0:06:10- We've known hundreds of kids to get fostered, haven't we?- Hundreds.

0:06:10 > 0:06:13You'll be next, you watch.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16Some chance.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18Bet you a fiver.

0:06:18 > 0:06:23When there's all those perfect Barbie doll kids out there?

0:06:23 > 0:06:26Get lost! Families love little cute kids like you.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29- It's ugly brutes like Bouncer no-one wants.- Agh!

0:06:29 > 0:06:32Hayley just got there first, that's all.

0:06:38 > 0:06:42- Bad day, huh?- No-one's ever gonna foster me, are they?

0:06:42 > 0:06:46Course. Little kids like you are the first to be snapped up.

0:06:46 > 0:06:50- Yeah, if you're cute like Hayley. - But you're cute.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53In your own way.

0:06:53 > 0:06:56I'm never gonna get fostered.

0:06:56 > 0:06:59I'm just too weird.

0:06:59 > 0:07:04- You know what you have to do?- What? - Just be a muggle for a bit.- Muggle?

0:07:04 > 0:07:09Someone ordinary. When you're fostered, you can do what you want.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11- What's going on? - Marco wants to be normal.

0:07:11 > 0:07:16- Ha! Marco? Normal? Don't hold your breath!- Oi!

0:07:16 > 0:07:21Don't worry. We'll show her. Can't be that difficult.

0:07:45 > 0:07:50Look, I need help. I've got six hours to make Marco normal.

0:07:50 > 0:07:54- Many have tried and failed. - A family are coming this afternoon.

0:07:54 > 0:07:58If we can get rid of the nutty bits, they might take him out.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01But it's the nutty bits that make Marco...Marco.

0:08:01 > 0:08:05But Marco with nutty bits stays hanging from a tree all day!

0:08:05 > 0:08:09Marco without nutty bits goes out with a nice normal family.

0:08:09 > 0:08:13- What do you reckon, Crash? You in? - Sure. Be a laugh.- For who?

0:08:13 > 0:08:17It might be a big joke to you, but you're fostered.

0:08:17 > 0:08:21- Exactly my point. If- I- can get fostered, anyone can!

0:08:21 > 0:08:23This is Marco we're talking about.

0:08:23 > 0:08:29- What d'you like for breakfast?- Corn flakes and cola or bread and gravy.

0:08:29 > 0:08:33- Good choice!- From now on, it's toast and jam, OK?

0:08:33 > 0:08:38- What's your favourite sport?- Crown green bowling.- Football from now on.

0:08:38 > 0:08:41- David Beckham's your hero, OK? - But Uri Geller's my hero.

0:08:41 > 0:08:47- No, repeat after me - "David Beckham".- David Beckham.

0:08:47 > 0:08:50That's his hobbies and eating habits - now his clothes.

0:08:50 > 0:08:53There is nothing wrong with my clothes!

0:08:55 > 0:08:57- <- Hayley, time to go!

0:09:04 > 0:09:08< Come on, Marco, she'll be leaving in a minute!

0:09:10 > 0:09:12- When's she coming down? - She's in there.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15ALL: Yeah!

0:09:22 > 0:09:25You'll be next, you watch.

0:09:25 > 0:09:27I'm going to miss you, kidder!

0:09:27 > 0:09:31You ever want peanut cookies, you know where I am.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34- You haven't seen Layla, have you, Duke?- Um,

0:09:34 > 0:09:39- I'm sure she won't be long.- Maybe the toilet door's got stuck again?

0:09:39 > 0:09:44Thanks, but I don't think she wants to be my friend any more.

0:09:44 > 0:09:48Course she does. She'll write to you, I'm sure.

0:09:49 > 0:09:54So, here it is - the big, wide world. Are you OK?

0:09:54 > 0:09:59That's my girl! It might seem strange for the first few days,

0:09:59 > 0:10:03- but give me a ring any time.- Beat me with a stick - I'm on a roll!

0:10:03 > 0:10:06I've even found the perfect family for Marco.

0:10:06 > 0:10:10If they don't want him as soon as they see him, I'll eat my box file!

0:10:10 > 0:10:15ALL: See you! Bye!

0:10:42 > 0:10:44HORN BEEPS

0:10:53 > 0:10:56I forgot to give you this!

0:10:57 > 0:11:00- I'm sorry.- Me, too.

0:11:00 > 0:11:02Come back and visit?

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Course I will.

0:11:04 > 0:11:08I thought you might like it. For when we're pop stars?

0:11:11 > 0:11:13See ya!

0:11:14 > 0:11:17Don't forget me!

0:11:24 > 0:11:26This way, Marco.

0:11:26 > 0:11:28Remember. Nice and normal.

0:11:31 > 0:11:36- Hello. My name's Marco Maloney.- Have you done something to your hair?

0:11:37 > 0:11:40Marco, meet the Boxers!

0:11:43 > 0:11:48I like watching TV in the hope of seeing my hero, Derek Bebham.

0:11:48 > 0:11:52That is, of course, after I've eaten my toast and jam.

0:11:52 > 0:11:58Sorry to butt in, but life with us might be a bit spooky for you.

0:11:58 > 0:12:02We like stay up all night looking for UFOs, eating crazy stuff.

0:12:02 > 0:12:06My wife collects false teeth from the rich and famous.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09These are from the first Dracula film.

0:12:10 > 0:12:15Maybe you'd like a family that was a bit more...

0:12:15 > 0:12:18- what's the word we don't use, Lotus-Flower?- Normal?

0:12:18 > 0:12:20Oh!

0:12:20 > 0:12:25Maybe you'd like a family that's a bit more...like that?

0:12:25 > 0:12:28- I hate you! I hate you all! - We were only trying to help!

0:12:28 > 0:12:32How were we to know they'd just landed from Planet Zog?

0:12:32 > 0:12:35Well, what did I say? Dare to be different.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37For once, you might be right.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40We tried your way, now it's time for the Beaker treatment.

0:12:40 > 0:12:43Crash, come with me. Jackie, your recorder.

0:12:43 > 0:12:46Bouncer, get Marco in his Sunday best.

0:12:49 > 0:12:53- <- Yes, well, I do understand. Thank you.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56Bye, then.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04MARCO PLAYS THE RECORDER Woa! Boy on the drive!

0:13:06 > 0:13:08Not again, Marco!

0:13:08 > 0:13:12Please excuse my friend here - he often goes off like this.

0:13:12 > 0:13:15We try and tell him it's not real, but he doesn't listen.

0:13:15 > 0:13:19Maybe there's more to this boy than meets the eye. What you doing, kid?

0:13:19 > 0:13:22Communing with the snake spirits of Nefertiti.

0:13:22 > 0:13:26Maybe you could be our sort of guy, after all.

0:13:26 > 0:13:30I'm sorry, but I have a meeting with the Leprechauns.

0:13:30 > 0:13:34Any time you want to join us flamenco dancing,

0:13:34 > 0:13:38- you get your boss here to give us a ring.- I will. Ole!

0:13:43 > 0:13:47Subtitles by Peter Hastie BBC Broadcast 2004

0:13:48 > 0:13:51E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk