0:00:05 > 0:00:08# I can make my world come true
0:00:08 > 0:00:11# All my dreams will see me through
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Doesn't matter what may come my way
0:00:14 > 0:00:18# Believe me now I will win some day. #
0:00:22 > 0:00:25- Is that your impression of a doorstop?- Tracy Beaker.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27You can't come in unless you say,
0:00:27 > 0:00:30"Please, Lord Rio, may I enter your residence?"
0:00:30 > 0:00:33OK, I'll say it, if you can spell it.
0:00:33 > 0:00:37And wow! You've got your trousers on the right way round, Rio!
0:00:37 > 0:00:41- Special day, is it?- Ah, Tracy, I'm afraid you can't stay.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45- We're expecting an inspector.- Ah, so that's why you look so worried.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47The review by the National Care Standards Commission
0:00:47 > 0:00:52- can identify areas of concern in a care home.- OK, I'm going.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54You see, when you get fostered,
0:00:54 > 0:00:56you don't have to worry about inspections.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58I've got it made, living with Cam.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01So how come you're always round here then, eh?
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Because I feel sorry for everyone else,
0:01:03 > 0:01:07having to live with you little maggots. See you later.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10GROWLING AND SQUEAKING
0:01:10 > 0:01:15Right, now all we have to do is make sure Elaine doesn't talk to him.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19DANCE MUSIC
0:01:41 > 0:01:42Oh, hi, Tracy!
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Anything wrong at the Dumping Ground?
0:01:45 > 0:01:48I had to come back cos they're having their inspection.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52- Residents only, Sid said.- Shame. Look what I got at the charity shop.
0:01:52 > 0:01:57- Two quid this cost!- Ugh, Cam, don't ever, ever wear that top...
0:01:57 > 0:01:59not even to scare people with.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02How did I end up with you as a foster mum?
0:02:02 > 0:02:04If I was a care home inspector, I'd close you down.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Oh, no point asking me to help with your maths homework.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12- This chart is to measure your progress.- My progress?
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Yeah. I'm putting you on review.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18I used to get reviewed every year when I was at the Dumping Ground.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19Oh!
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Cam, you're squishing my chart!
0:02:22 > 0:02:26OK, you haven't been a total disaster as a foster parent, but...
0:02:26 > 0:02:29I have identified areas of concern.
0:02:29 > 0:02:34So I will be awarding points for quality of meals, personal style
0:02:34 > 0:02:38and, most important, QTT... Quality Tracy Time.
0:02:38 > 0:02:39Right.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43And you'll see I've started you off at minus ten for that top.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48No, Mr Rooney. I'll find my own way.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51I prefer to look around without the staff. Of course.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Have you seen the kitchen?
0:02:53 > 0:02:56- Ah, Elaine! I've got something to show you in my office.- But...
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Yeah, in my office, quick.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02So, who wants to try and get this care home closed as well?
0:03:04 > 0:03:06This form goes on and on!
0:03:06 > 0:03:11- Does Mr Pincher really need all this before he can talk to me?- Yep.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- Me and Duke have filled one out. - It's going to take me ages.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18Mmm, an hour and forty-seven minutes... I'm guessing.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Does that look mouldy to you?
0:03:23 > 0:03:28- You're an artist, you are. - 'Can you just tell me how you...'
0:03:28 > 0:03:30look after the children's emotional welfare?
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Mr Rooney was a bit vague.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Is your social worker here today?
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- Mini-muffin?- No.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Well, er...
0:03:41 > 0:03:44we do have a social worker,
0:03:44 > 0:03:47but that's only one way that we...
0:03:47 > 0:03:51Personally, I find a nice tea usually fixes everything!
0:03:51 > 0:03:55You use food as a substitute for counselling?
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Oh, no, no, goodness me, no, no.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02I just meant...well, everybody likes a tasty treat.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07- (Except you, apparently.) - Hello, Mr Pincher.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11Would you like to look round the home with me and my sister?
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Yes, I think I will.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23This isn't exactly what I was expecting.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26You don't all share this room, I hope?
0:04:26 > 0:04:29No. (Remember what Sid said.)
0:04:29 > 0:04:33- (We're not to say.)- Hmm. What the...!
0:04:33 > 0:04:35This bedding isn't very thick.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38We're very grateful for it, Mr Pincher.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40We stick it out as best we can. We've got one another.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44Not like that poor kid. Ribbit, ribbit.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47He was all right before he came here.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Carrot and pumpkin seed salad?
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Do I look like a hamster?
0:04:55 > 0:04:58Hey! I can't be doing that badly.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02But I made you that mango and pineapple smoothie. You love them!
0:05:02 > 0:05:05And what does that say... Ham?
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Why do I lose points for ham?
0:05:07 > 0:05:09We don't even have ham... I'm a vegetarian!
0:05:09 > 0:05:11It's not "ham", it's "hair".
0:05:11 > 0:05:13I should knock off points for you being a veggie.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Hold it right there, Tracy Beaker.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19If you get to review my progress, I'm going to review yours!
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Review me? But there's nothing wrong with me.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23I'm a perfect foster daughter!
0:05:23 > 0:05:27Well, we'll see, won't we? Game on.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Well...
0:05:31 > 0:05:33I hope Mr Pincher appreciates this!
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Oh, Elaine... would you give me a hand?
0:05:36 > 0:05:40I've got to plant some herbs in the vegetable patch,
0:05:40 > 0:05:41and your advice would be priceless.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45- I'm waiting for the inspector, Duke. - Oh, he'll be ages yet.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48I tell you what, I'll give you a shout when he's done.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52And what you don't know about parsley isn't worth knowing.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Oh...
0:05:54 > 0:05:56All right.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04I want you to feel that you can be completely honest with me.
0:06:04 > 0:06:09Now, is...is there anything you're not happy about, here in Cliffside?
0:06:10 > 0:06:14Well...it'd be nice not to have to wash in cold water.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16You mean hot water is rationed?
0:06:16 > 0:06:18No. It's just a dodgy boiler.
0:06:18 > 0:06:23- And it'd be nice not to share a room with this spanner.- Spanner?
0:06:23 > 0:06:25- Who're you calling a spanner?- You!
0:06:27 > 0:06:31Yes, um, overcrowding does seem to be an issue here.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Not really.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Ribbit, Ribbit!
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Hello, little boy.
0:06:38 > 0:06:43I'm not a little boy. I'm a frog. Ribbit, ribbit!
0:06:49 > 0:06:52It's a voucher for the IMAX cinema!
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- I know what it is, Cam. I can read. - Well, if you don't want it...
0:06:55 > 0:06:57No, no. I want it. Bye!
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Yay! Points to me!
0:07:02 > 0:07:04What have you done to your room?
0:07:04 > 0:07:05Do you like it?
0:07:05 > 0:07:08We're showing the inspector what a rubbish home this is.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11What for? He can close us down if it fails the inspection.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Yeah. It's what we do when we don't like somewhere.
0:07:14 > 0:07:15And we don't like a lot of places.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18If they close the DG down, they'll move us,
0:07:18 > 0:07:21then we'll have to fit in somewhere else with kids like you!
0:07:21 > 0:07:23So? We don't care.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25- We've got each other.- Well, I care.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Another place might be ten times worse!
0:07:28 > 0:07:31You could be messing up all our lives again, just for a laugh.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35I'm pleased to help, but I'm a social worker,
0:07:35 > 0:07:38not a gardener. And I wasn't appropriately dressed...
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Thank you so much, Elaine.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44If you'd just put these away in the pantry, that'd be lovely.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51There he is!
0:07:51 > 0:07:54- Um, Mr Pincher! It's really nice here!- Yeah.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57We're all happy, we've got loads to eat
0:07:57 > 0:08:01- and we can watch telly.- That wasn't what some of you said before.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04- Has someone been talking to you? - Yeah.
0:08:04 > 0:08:05Oh, I mean no.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Sid and Duke haven't been talking to us,
0:08:08 > 0:08:11and they haven't been telling us what to say or anything.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13What? What?
0:08:16 > 0:08:20..and I just wish that sometimes it wasn't so curly.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22At least it's not like yours, though.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Well, I think your hair's lovely, Tracy.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29- I hope you feel a bit better after that little chat.- What do you mean?
0:08:29 > 0:08:33Well, I helped you get something off your chest. That's therapy,
0:08:33 > 0:08:35which has got to be worth...
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- at least 20 points!- Oh, yeah?
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Well, get this, Miss Sneaky...
0:08:41 > 0:08:44I hate therapy! So that's minus 20 points!
0:08:49 > 0:08:53Thank you, Roxy. I don't know what happened to Duke.
0:08:53 > 0:08:54Elaine,
0:08:54 > 0:08:58one of your therapy sessions would be good with that inspector.
0:08:58 > 0:08:59What a good idea!
0:09:01 > 0:09:03I suppose you'd better let her out.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Just keep her out of you-know-who's way.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09I'll gather everyone together after lunch, Mr Pincher.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12My therapy sessions help children express themselves.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- She must have escaped!- Ah!
0:09:19 > 0:09:21OK...
0:09:21 > 0:09:24who's got something they'd like to say?
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Anyone?
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Anyone at all?
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Don't be shy.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34- Elaine?- Yes, Roxy. What is it?
0:09:34 > 0:09:37You know Catty, my pet caterpillar?
0:09:37 > 0:09:38Er, um...
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Duke took him away.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Oh...dear.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46Were you close?
0:09:46 > 0:09:50Catty was my very, very, very best friend and I loved him.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02SHE SCREAMS
0:10:03 > 0:10:06EVIL LAUGHTER
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Stop lying! Duke would never do anything like that.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11And you never had a caterpillar anyway!
0:10:11 > 0:10:15He's got so mean since Duke took away his weasel.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Oh, never mind about homework for now.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Let's have some Quality Tracy Time.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- What do you want to do? - What do YOU want to do?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27I mean it. What do you want to do?
0:10:27 > 0:10:30- No, what do YOU want to do? - Oh, you're freaking me out!
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Can we just forget about earning points?
0:10:32 > 0:10:36I knew it! You only want to stop because you're losing!
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Don't take it so seriously!
0:10:38 > 0:10:42And that's minus 50 points for getting a cob on!
0:10:42 > 0:10:46DOOR SLAMS And minus 30 for slamming the door!
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Tracy Beaker! Just in time. Come on.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58And what about the state of the children's bedrooms?
0:10:58 > 0:11:01And that poor boy who thinks he's a frog?!
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Now, the changes I am going to recommend are...
0:11:04 > 0:11:07CLANGING
0:11:12 > 0:11:14And you are?
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Tracy Beaker...
0:11:16 > 0:11:20gorgeous, super-cool, used to live here, now in a foster home.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22I understand. You're scared to admit
0:11:22 > 0:11:25what it's really like here in front of Mr Rooney.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Why would I be scared of Sid? I don't even live here any more.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31You've been scammed by these amateurs.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Dunno what you mean.
0:11:33 > 0:11:34Mr Pincher.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Let me tell you about the Wellards...
0:11:36 > 0:11:40Face it, reviews are a complete waste of time!
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Well, thank you, Mr Pincher.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47And I must say you were a hit with the Wellards.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50They only tease people they really, really like.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Yes. A very good joke!
0:11:55 > 0:11:58The children's... high-spiritedness clearly shows
0:11:58 > 0:12:00they must be comfortable here.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04Yes. Well, goodbye, Mr Rooney.
0:12:04 > 0:12:05Goodbye, Mr Pincher.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Having a little bit of fun at the inspector's expense, were we?
0:12:12 > 0:12:15It's like you said, Sid - we must have really liked him.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19Well, let's see how you really like re-painting your room!
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Shall we?
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Help!
0:12:55 > 0:12:58Why did you do that? You were winning.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Reviews are for losers. I don't know why you went along with it.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03I thought it really mattered to you.
0:13:03 > 0:13:07Well, it's rubbish. There's no point in trying to change you.
0:13:07 > 0:13:11I'm lumbered with you. But next time you go shopping at charity shops,
0:13:11 > 0:13:15- at least take me with you. - Well, thanks, Tracy.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18And of course you do have your faults, too.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21- Yeah, I said that.- No, you didn't.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25- Yeah, I did. - No, I don't think you did, Tracy.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- I think you'll find I did, Cam. - No, you didn't.- Yes, I did.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31- Didn't!- Did!- Not!
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Subtitles by BBC Broadcast 2004
0:13:33 > 0:13:37E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk