Meet the Parent

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0:00:06 > 0:00:11# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Doesn't matter what may come my way

0:00:14 > 0:00:18# Believe me now I will win some day. #

0:00:22 > 0:00:24What do you call this?!

0:00:24 > 0:00:26My special recipe. Lentil burgers.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31There's vegetables in this.

0:00:31 > 0:00:33Cam, hello?!

0:00:33 > 0:00:38Where is the ketchup? How do you expect me to eat it without mayo?

0:00:38 > 0:00:40And where is the meat?

0:00:40 > 0:00:42Burgers...

0:00:42 > 0:00:46Proper burgers should not under any circumstances contain green stuff.

0:00:46 > 0:00:51It's just not real food! And there is no way that I am eating it.

0:00:51 > 0:00:54When I was your age, I had to eat everything on my plate.

0:00:54 > 0:00:59Oh, that sounds like something my mother would say! I sound so old.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06Real meat for a real man.

0:01:06 > 0:01:08I'm a real man.

0:01:08 > 0:01:12That's the worst thing about this place - no men.

0:01:12 > 0:01:15What about me and Duke?

0:01:15 > 0:01:20- I said men, not boys!- I'm a man! I'll fight anyone who argues!

0:01:20 > 0:01:23Marco, sit down.

0:01:23 > 0:01:25I mean REAL men.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27We're men, aren't we, Duke?

0:01:28 > 0:01:30Ye-eah.

0:01:32 > 0:01:35Um... Well...

0:01:35 > 0:01:39I must say, Tracy seems to be settling in very well...

0:01:39 > 0:01:40for Tracy.

0:01:40 > 0:01:44Yeah, we're both determined it's going to work this time.

0:01:44 > 0:01:46So...no problems then?

0:01:46 > 0:01:50Because we're always here for you if there are any problems.

0:01:50 > 0:01:53Any little thing at all?

0:01:53 > 0:01:54Well...

0:01:54 > 0:01:56Go on.

0:01:56 > 0:02:01Well, Tracy still spends a lot of time at the Dump...er, Cliffside.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03Maybe she needs more company.

0:02:03 > 0:02:07We both know that she enjoys the stimulation of being with...

0:02:07 > 0:02:11more than just the one person all the time.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14- What, you think I'm not enough? - Oh, don't be embarrassed.

0:02:14 > 0:02:18- Maybe your family can help. How about your mum?- My mum?!

0:02:18 > 0:02:22You've done what?! What do you want your mum for?

0:02:22 > 0:02:25- I thought we were OK, just the two of us.- Of course we are.

0:02:25 > 0:02:29I've only invited her for a short visit. I think you'll like her.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32You told me she was an evil witch.

0:02:32 > 0:02:35SHE CACKLES

0:02:41 > 0:02:44SHE CACKLES

0:02:44 > 0:02:48- Well, yeah, we had our differences. - Well, she's not staying in my room!

0:02:48 > 0:02:53She can sleep on the floor! Or why not send her to the Dumping Ground?

0:02:53 > 0:02:57I'll go and see if they've got a spare bed now! Aargh!

0:02:59 > 0:03:02This baby's one fine speedy machine.

0:03:02 > 0:03:06- Should have twice the power now I've souped-up the motor.- What motor?

0:03:06 > 0:03:11The one on the mixer. Now our fairy cakes will be fluffier than ever.

0:03:11 > 0:03:14Huh, fairy cakes! Ple-ease!

0:03:14 > 0:03:18Duke, can't we bake something more manly?

0:03:18 > 0:03:22- Such as? - I don't know. Soldier cakes?

0:03:31 > 0:03:36Her burgers are minging and her TV should be on Antiques Roadshow,

0:03:36 > 0:03:38but I was just getting used to that.

0:03:38 > 0:03:42Now she wants to land us with her manky old mum.

0:03:42 > 0:03:46- Ooh!- Wrinklies are bad news, man. My nan was so mean...

0:03:46 > 0:03:50she made us go to bed as soon as it was dark, to save on electric.

0:03:50 > 0:03:54- Old people have the TV on so loud, the furniture jumps.- That's OK.

0:03:54 > 0:03:57Yeah, but they only watch Songs Of Praise.

0:03:57 > 0:04:01- They always run to kiss you.- Then they take their false teeth out

0:04:01 > 0:04:05and give you gummy kisses.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07ALL: Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

0:04:07 > 0:04:11Don't. Go away! That's not funny.

0:04:21 > 0:04:26- Well, she's not going to kiss me. - You'll have to do what she wants.

0:04:26 > 0:04:29She's Cam's family and you are just a foster kid.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40STARTER MOTOR WHEEZES

0:04:40 > 0:04:43Oh, come on! Come on!

0:04:43 > 0:04:46Having trouble?

0:04:46 > 0:04:51Oh, no, no(!) I love sitting in a minibus that won't start(!)

0:04:56 > 0:04:59A real man would know how to fix it.

0:04:59 > 0:05:04- Um...would you like me and Duke to take a look?- No, no, no, no!

0:05:04 > 0:05:08I'm going to ring a mechanic, so just don't touch anything.

0:05:08 > 0:05:10Not scared of Sid, are you?

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Great big men like you?

0:05:15 > 0:05:18Well, we could take a look.

0:05:22 > 0:05:26- Mum.- Camilla, darling. Shame you never let your hair grow.

0:05:26 > 0:05:30I always think you need a really interesting face

0:05:30 > 0:05:33to get away with short hair.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35- Do I look all right? - Fine...for a granny.

0:05:35 > 0:05:41I suppose I am Tracy's granny. Hope I can manage. I've had no practice.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44Oh, it's easy. Just try not to be yourself.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46Where is Tracy?

0:05:46 > 0:05:51- Sulking in her room. - Now that sounds familiar!

0:05:51 > 0:05:53- KNOCK AT DOOR - What?

0:05:53 > 0:05:58- Tracy Beaker?- Who wants to know? - Oh, your poor old granny.

0:06:00 > 0:06:03- Are you Cam's mum? - Call me Penelope.

0:06:03 > 0:06:09I like what you've done to this room. Very lively!

0:06:10 > 0:06:13I suppose you'll want to kiss me.

0:06:13 > 0:06:17Certainly not. I can't stand all that mushy stuff.

0:06:17 > 0:06:19I've got a present for you downstairs.

0:06:30 > 0:06:35Huh? Oh, it's so shiny!

0:06:38 > 0:06:42- Oh, Mum, you shouldn't have. - You've put on weight,

0:06:42 > 0:06:44but it should still fit.

0:06:44 > 0:06:47A games console! Cool!

0:06:52 > 0:06:56Ah. Don't normally wear make-up, but I'll give it a try.

0:06:56 > 0:07:01- You should, dear, at your age.- I can't plug it in. There's no SCART.

0:07:01 > 0:07:04Well, I'm not surprised. How old is that thing?

0:07:04 > 0:07:08We'll go out this afternoon and buy a proper wide-screen set

0:07:08 > 0:07:14- and then go for a 24-carat shopping spree.- Wicked! Can we go now?

0:07:14 > 0:07:18- Well, I've made lunch.- Cam, we can get something on the way out.

0:07:18 > 0:07:22Come along, Tracy. Camilla's always watching the pennies.

0:07:22 > 0:07:27- Does she still buy her clothes from Poundthrift?- Not any more, Mum.

0:07:36 > 0:07:40- I think the tubey part goes here. - BOTH: The tubey part?!

0:07:40 > 0:07:44- BOTH: Girls! - Well, what is it then?

0:07:44 > 0:07:47BOTH: Um... We're too busy to take questions.

0:07:47 > 0:07:51- Doing what?- Well, I'm trying to reconnect the...um...

0:07:51 > 0:07:56- to the...um... - Recalibrating the...engine.

0:07:57 > 0:07:59- You don't know. - BOTH: No.

0:08:08 > 0:08:10- What are you doing? - BOTH: Oh!

0:08:18 > 0:08:23Took three baths to get all that oil off! I think I've got concussion.

0:08:23 > 0:08:26You're stressed. You know what chills me out?

0:08:26 > 0:08:29BOTH: Duke's triple-chocolate cupcakes.

0:08:29 > 0:08:33- But...- What? - Well, it's not very manly, is it?

0:08:33 > 0:08:37Ah, gentlemen...this is the call-out bill for the minibus.

0:08:37 > 0:08:42He charged me twice as much cos someone had mucked about with it.

0:08:42 > 0:08:46- We'll take care of it. - Yeah, we're both working men.

0:08:46 > 0:08:50- Yeah.- I'll pay for it with my bakery money. ..How much was it?

0:08:50 > 0:08:53£2,000.

0:08:53 > 0:08:56BOTH: £2,000?!

0:08:56 > 0:09:00- We're ruined! We'll be skint forever!- Calm down.

0:09:00 > 0:09:03Calm down?! How am I supposed to calm down?

0:09:03 > 0:09:05We have to have cupcakes NOW!

0:09:07 > 0:09:09How do you turn this on?

0:09:12 > 0:09:16Turn it off! Turn it off! Duke! Duke!

0:09:16 > 0:09:18Duke! Let go, Duke!

0:09:32 > 0:09:35Sorry. Did I just say £2,000?

0:09:35 > 0:09:38I meant...£200.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42I hope I didn't panic anyone.

0:09:42 > 0:09:44Sick. Huh!

0:09:58 > 0:10:03- Tracy, did you unplug my computer? - Needed the socket for the TV.

0:10:03 > 0:10:07- There was unsaved work on that!- Then you should have saved it, Camilla.

0:10:07 > 0:10:10Cheer up. I'll take us all to that Italian restaurant.

0:10:10 > 0:10:13- They make the biggest pizzas in town.- Cool.

0:10:13 > 0:10:16I can't. I've got my writers' group.

0:10:16 > 0:10:21- Tracy should be more important than silly scribbling.- That's right.

0:10:21 > 0:10:25Spend time with her. Before you know it, she'll be grown up,

0:10:25 > 0:10:27you'll never see her

0:10:27 > 0:10:32and you'll wonder where all those lost years went.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35All right. I'll cancel my group.

0:10:35 > 0:10:39Perfect. Tracy's looking forward to seeing you in your new dress.

0:10:39 > 0:10:43- Are you?- Um... Well...

0:10:43 > 0:10:44Um...

0:10:44 > 0:10:48All right, I'll do it. You might need to wear sunglasses, though.

0:10:54 > 0:10:55Ta-da!

0:10:55 > 0:10:58Cam, you look so...

0:10:58 > 0:10:59Shiny?

0:10:59 > 0:11:03- Shiny.- Just run a comb through your hair and then we can go out.

0:11:03 > 0:11:09- I've done my hair.- I know, dear. Just let me smooth it down a bit.

0:11:09 > 0:11:11Oh, no, Mum. Mum, please don't.

0:11:11 > 0:11:15- Mum! Aow! Aow! - Don't make such a fuss!

0:11:15 > 0:11:19I don't believe this. OK, so Cam's got the fashion sense

0:11:19 > 0:11:24of a Latvian Eurovision contestant. But that's how she chooses to look,

0:11:24 > 0:11:27- so it's up to her. - I was only trying to help.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30We don't need your help! Me and Cam do things our own way.

0:11:30 > 0:11:34That's the way we like it. Presents aren't going to change that.

0:11:46 > 0:11:48But everyone likes presents.

0:11:48 > 0:11:52Sorry, I'm just not used to all this family stuff.

0:11:52 > 0:11:57If it makes you feel better, we'll keep the TV. But, like Elaine said,

0:11:57 > 0:12:01you've got to remember the most important thing in this - me.

0:12:01 > 0:12:06- Right.- I want to order in a pizza and play Monster Killer Bees, OK?

0:12:06 > 0:12:09- OK.- ..OK.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17Ooh, fairy cakes!

0:12:17 > 0:12:20- Aah-ah-ah!- No, no, no.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22Oh, fairy cakes - very manly(!)

0:12:22 > 0:12:27Well, you won't want these then, considering we're...bad role models.

0:12:27 > 0:12:30I think a real man is true to himself

0:12:30 > 0:12:34and he doesn't conform to stereotypes.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36You can have one, Roxy.

0:12:41 > 0:12:46OK, OK, you're real men. Now, can I have one?

0:12:54 > 0:12:57Behind you! Rrrrr-eee! Crrrsh!

0:12:57 > 0:13:00- Yes!- Pow! No, that was me! Pow!

0:13:00 > 0:13:04- Zzzzz!- No, no! - Splat! Splat!- No, no! Rrrr-eee!

0:13:06 > 0:13:09- Yes!- No, no, no, no! Pow!

0:13:12 > 0:13:16- # Go, Cam! Go, Cam! Go, Cam! # - That was a fluke.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18- OK, it's my turn.- She's all yours.

0:13:18 > 0:13:22- No way! I want a rematch! Come on! - Bring it on!

0:13:22 > 0:13:25- What happened to "Tracy comes first"?- You do,

0:13:25 > 0:13:28just as soon as I've beaten Camilla!

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Ooh! Yes!

0:13:30 > 0:13:33Yes! YES!

0:13:33 > 0:13:37# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

0:13:37 > 0:13:42# I won't get down Dreams will turn things all around

0:13:42 > 0:13:46# With a smile upon my face I can see a better place

0:13:46 > 0:13:49# Doesn't matter what may come my way

0:13:49 > 0:13:53# Believe me now I will win some day. #