Spare Dad/Operation Careworker

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0:00:06 > 0:00:10# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

0:00:10 > 0:00:14- # It doesn't matter What may come my way...- No! No!

0:00:14 > 0:00:18# Believe me now I will win some day. #

0:00:18 > 0:00:21Crash, it's only natural to be worried.

0:00:21 > 0:00:24- Is it?- Yes, and we wouldn't let your dad see you

0:00:24 > 0:00:28if we hadn't had positive reports from his probation officer and...

0:00:28 > 0:00:30Everyone deserves another chance.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34I haven't seen him in years. He doesn't even know me.

0:00:34 > 0:00:40- You don't have to see him if it'll upset you.- No, I'm ready for him.

0:00:43 > 0:00:48- Shut up!- Coaches use whistles to get attention and motivate people.

0:00:48 > 0:00:52How would you like to swallow that whistle, Coach?

0:00:52 > 0:00:56Listen! Since we didn't to camp, I thought we'd have a meeting...

0:00:56 > 0:00:59How about a nice quiet note under our doors?

0:00:59 > 0:01:01- Or you just ask us nicely.- Yeah.

0:01:01 > 0:01:03Wait!

0:01:03 > 0:01:06Crash's dad is coming to visit.

0:01:06 > 0:01:09- Crash's loser dad is coming. - What's that got to do with us?

0:01:09 > 0:01:12It's gonna be a really rough day for Crash.

0:01:12 > 0:01:15Like I said, what's that got to do with us?

0:01:15 > 0:01:20It's a really important visit. They have lots of issues to sort out.

0:01:20 > 0:01:24They have to learn to bond again, start the healing process.

0:01:24 > 0:01:27What?

0:01:27 > 0:01:31Just checking - I thought Elaine the pain got herself cloned.

0:01:46 > 0:01:50- All I'm saying is make sure you give Crash the space he needs.- Wait -

0:01:50 > 0:01:54you dragged us away from minding our own business

0:01:54 > 0:01:59- to tell us to mind your own business?!- Tragic.

0:01:59 > 0:02:02I don't know why you're wasting your time.

0:02:02 > 0:02:05- Crash's dad will only let him down. - You don't know that!

0:02:05 > 0:02:10I think I know a bit more than you do about hopeless-dad syndrome!

0:02:10 > 0:02:12- Just butt out and give them a chance! - You butt out!

0:02:12 > 0:02:16- No you!- No you!- No, YOU.

0:02:16 > 0:02:20Just want you to know I'm here for you.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22Thanks.

0:02:22 > 0:02:26That's very nice of you, Jackie, but Crash needs a bit of privacy.

0:02:26 > 0:02:31I've already sorted that out. You'll have all the privacy you need.

0:02:31 > 0:02:35- (Jackie, it's time you went.) - He's here.- It's all right.

0:02:35 > 0:02:41- No, it's not. I can't do this! - Crash! Jackie, give him some space!

0:02:57 > 0:03:00Crash?

0:03:00 > 0:03:01Come in.

0:03:03 > 0:03:04You OK?

0:03:06 > 0:03:10- Is he gone?- No, Shelley's still got him trapped in the office.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13I didn't think he'd get to me like this.

0:03:13 > 0:03:17I know it's tough, but what are you going to do? He won't wait forever.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19CREAK!

0:03:25 > 0:03:29Well, Justine? What d'you think I should do?

0:03:29 > 0:03:31He's a loser, tell him to get lost.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33- No!- What? Look how worried Crash is.

0:03:33 > 0:03:37- He might be different now! - A few anger management classes

0:03:37 > 0:03:41- and he's an angel?- If he leaves now, Crash will never know!- Shut up!

0:03:41 > 0:03:44I've got enough of that going on inside my head!

0:03:44 > 0:03:47- See? You're just making things worse! - You're the one making things worse!

0:03:47 > 0:03:50- No, it's you!- No, it's you! - No, it's you.- No, it's you!

0:03:52 > 0:03:56I'm going to talk to Crash. I can't keep Theo in the office much longer.

0:03:56 > 0:04:01I wouldn't interfere, Shelley. The kid needs to make his own mind up.

0:04:01 > 0:04:06- No, you!- No, you!- No, you!- No, you!

0:04:06 > 0:04:09What do you know about it anyway?

0:04:09 > 0:04:12I know Crash better than you do and now he's...gone!

0:04:12 > 0:04:15Why don't you stay?

0:04:15 > 0:04:19You haven't had the grand tour, and it's a very interesting building.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28Please don't go, Dad.

0:04:36 > 0:04:40Why don't you two go to the garden for a while?

0:04:40 > 0:04:43It's nice and PRIVATE out there.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54OK. No more interfering, either of us.

0:04:54 > 0:04:57- It's a deal. We leave them in peace to talk.- Deal.

0:04:57 > 0:05:01And if they want to get back together again, then that's great.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04Or not. Whatever they decide.

0:05:04 > 0:05:09It wouldn't be interfering just to have a little look, though, would it?

0:05:11 > 0:05:16- You've grown...- How far did you...? - Sorry, you first.- No, it's OK.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18I was just saying you've grown.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20Nearly a man.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23It's funny, you look smaller.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57What are you gawking at?

0:05:58 > 0:06:00Nothing.

0:06:12 > 0:06:17- I don't believe it!- They're supposed to be exploring their relationship

0:06:17 > 0:06:21and working on their attachment disorder, not playing football!

0:06:21 > 0:06:27- What?- First me, then you. Elaine's been cloning us in our sleep!

0:06:44 > 0:06:46What a horrible thought.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49Yeah, but you're right.

0:06:49 > 0:06:51What if they don't ever get round to talking?!

0:06:51 > 0:06:53It'll be a disaster.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55How can we not help them?

0:07:01 > 0:07:03We didn't do enough of this, did we?

0:07:03 > 0:07:06No, we didn't.

0:07:13 > 0:07:18Nice shot. WHISTLE BLOWS

0:07:20 > 0:07:25Oops, you'll never get it back now! She's a kleptomaniac.

0:07:25 > 0:07:27You two having a nice chat?

0:07:27 > 0:07:31- They mates of yours? - Yeah. Good mates.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33They're there for me.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36- Unlike me, right? - No. That's not what I meant.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40Liam...

0:07:40 > 0:07:44- Dad, they call me Crash here. - Crash?!

0:07:44 > 0:07:45Yeah.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49I smash things when I'm angry.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52Liam, I'm sor...

0:07:55 > 0:07:58- What's up? - Mike promised he'd fix it.

0:07:58 > 0:08:02- He's been busy. He'll get round to it.- I need it today!

0:08:02 > 0:08:06- I know a bit about bikes. Let's have a look.- Great!

0:08:10 > 0:08:13Nice one, Jackie.

0:08:24 > 0:08:28- What is it now, Elaine-i-kins? - What part of "leave them alone"

0:08:28 > 0:08:35- don't your brother understand?!- He's bothering Crash!- Not as much as you're bothering me.- We'll stop him!

0:08:37 > 0:08:43Nobody stops me or my brother doing anything, got it?!

0:08:43 > 0:08:44Got it.

0:08:44 > 0:08:48- We'll just pop off, then. - Yeah, pop off!

0:09:00 > 0:09:03Nice bike.

0:09:03 > 0:09:08- But you really need to take better care of it.- How?

0:09:08 > 0:09:11Clean the chain, oil it now and then.

0:09:11 > 0:09:15- Nobody told me I had to do that. - Look after it or you'll lose it.

0:09:15 > 0:09:19Believe me, I should know.

0:09:19 > 0:09:20Thanks.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25Crash...

0:09:25 > 0:09:27Your dad's OK.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Looks like a good set-up here.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43It's OK.

0:09:44 > 0:09:47So...you're happy?

0:09:47 > 0:09:52Yeah, I always dreamed of spending my childhood in a care home.

0:09:52 > 0:09:53I'm sorry, Liam.

0:09:53 > 0:09:56For everything.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59I couldn't have messed up more if I'd tried.

0:10:01 > 0:10:02You hurt me.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06I'm really sorry.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09If I didn't love you...

0:10:10 > 0:10:14..I might have got over what you did to me,

0:10:14 > 0:10:17but I haven't.

0:10:17 > 0:10:21I'm still angry with the whole world, and it's your fault.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23I know.

0:10:25 > 0:10:29And I wouldn't blame you if you never forgave me.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33I didn't say never.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40What's up, face-ache?

0:10:42 > 0:10:44Crash's dad...

0:10:44 > 0:10:46mended my bike.

0:10:46 > 0:10:47And that's bad?

0:10:50 > 0:10:52You don't need a stupid dad.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54You've got me.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56And I've got you.

0:10:56 > 0:11:00We're each other's support system when the world gets big and scary.

0:11:00 > 0:11:04BOTH: A-a-a-a-a-a-aaaargh!

0:11:20 > 0:11:23At last, they're talking. Now they might get somewhere.

0:11:23 > 0:11:27I thought you didn't want them to get together.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30Maybe a hopeless dad's better than no dad.

0:11:38 > 0:11:42Liam, I came to tell you I'm sorting my life out.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44- I've got a job.- Good.

0:11:44 > 0:11:47- A few weeks, I'll be able to get a flat.- Great.

0:11:47 > 0:11:51We can take it easy at first. You can visit me, then stay the weekend...

0:11:51 > 0:11:55- Dad, wait... - You can paint your room...- No!

0:11:55 > 0:11:59- No, too messy.- Stop it!- What? - You're trying to control my life.

0:11:59 > 0:12:03- No, I'm trying to do what's best for you.- That's the problem, isn't it?

0:12:03 > 0:12:08You don't know what's best for me. You thought you'd fix everything!

0:12:08 > 0:12:11- We can't be fixed like that! - I didn't mean to rush you.

0:12:11 > 0:12:14This is never going to work. Just go.

0:12:18 > 0:12:22- No! Don't go! He didn't mean it. - Hold that. ..Justine!

0:12:22 > 0:12:26I've had enough of you not listening to me. It's none of your business,

0:12:26 > 0:12:28so let the staff...

0:12:28 > 0:12:32Face it, Mike, what do you know about being a kid in care?

0:12:32 > 0:12:34Point taken. Oh...

0:12:40 > 0:12:43WHISTLE BLASTS

0:12:47 > 0:12:49I over-reacted.

0:12:49 > 0:12:51A little.

0:12:51 > 0:12:56- I'm no better at all this than he is.- Don't be so hard on yourself.

0:12:56 > 0:12:59He'll never come back now.

0:12:59 > 0:13:00Yes, I will.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06On one condition.

0:13:09 > 0:13:12You call the shots for a while.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16Thanks.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Can we start with a movie?

0:13:18 > 0:13:20I'd like that.

0:13:20 > 0:13:23Uh, Mike, I think it's time to butt out now.

0:13:23 > 0:13:26Yeah! "Give the guy some space."

0:13:34 > 0:13:38Oi, you! Stick around there's more Beaker to come.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40Why can't we help choose the new head care worker?

0:13:40 > 0:13:42It wouldn't be appropriate.

0:13:42 > 0:13:47- Head office is sending us their top three candidates.- What do they know?

0:13:47 > 0:13:50We live here - we should have a say.

0:13:50 > 0:13:53- What do you think, Mike? - I'm staying out of this one, kids.

0:13:53 > 0:13:58Look, you can greet the candidates and show them to the office.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00Gee, thanks, Shelley. You're all heart.

0:14:03 > 0:14:07CHILDREN CALL OUT TO EACH OTHER

0:14:10 > 0:14:13- Crash, on your head. - I don't believe you lot!

0:14:13 > 0:14:17- Things are being turned upside down and you're playing!- Crash is right.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20Shelley's leaving, we're getting a new head care worker,

0:14:20 > 0:14:23and no-one's even asked us how we feel about it!

0:14:23 > 0:14:26What difference will it make? We're just care kids.

0:14:26 > 0:14:31That attitude will land us another Elaine. Is that what you want?

0:14:31 > 0:14:35- What do you suggest, Bob Geldof? - I don't know,

0:14:35 > 0:14:37that's why I'm talking to you guys.

0:14:37 > 0:14:39I've got it.

0:14:39 > 0:14:43We can put the candidates through the dumping ground test.

0:14:43 > 0:14:48- Since when has there been a dumping ground test?- There isn't one...yet.

0:15:13 > 0:15:19- What do we want from our care worker? - Who cares? They'll be rubbish.

0:15:19 > 0:15:23Milly and I have got a fancy-dress party, and we haven't got any hats,

0:15:23 > 0:15:27so they need to be able to make costume hats, good ones.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29Number one.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31Must be creative.

0:15:31 > 0:15:34Someone who could shoot some hoops might be good.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37Number two - a sporty person.

0:15:37 > 0:15:39That's good. Keep 'em coming.

0:15:39 > 0:15:42Someone who knows cool things, like the name of Johnny Depp's wife!

0:15:42 > 0:15:44Number three - popular knowledge.

0:15:44 > 0:15:48- Anything else?- Well, I've got a good sense about people.

0:15:48 > 0:15:53I can see auras sometimes. It's like a sixth sense.

0:15:53 > 0:15:57Fair enough, they must be able to pass the Alice test.

0:15:57 > 0:15:59Everybody happy?

0:15:59 > 0:16:03Great. So we're gonna have some arty-farty, beefy know-it-all,

0:16:03 > 0:16:05with a special aura. Sounds realistic(!)

0:16:05 > 0:16:08ALL: Shut up, Roxy!

0:16:09 > 0:16:11Well, hello there.

0:16:11 > 0:16:15I'm Mr Willis. It's a pleasure to meet you.

0:16:15 > 0:16:19- This way, please. - My very own guides - splendid.

0:16:19 > 0:16:23What a fascinating staircase. Great feature.

0:16:23 > 0:16:27These old houses really do have it all, don't they? Fascinating stuff.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29Fascinating. Right...

0:16:29 > 0:16:31Oh, Mr Willis, come in.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41Oh, yes!

0:16:41 > 0:16:45Cheer up, mate. It might never happen.

0:16:45 > 0:16:47You've not met Mr Willis.

0:16:47 > 0:16:50I don't even know why Shelley wants to leave.

0:16:50 > 0:16:54Um, number one - constant food fighting.

0:16:54 > 0:16:57Number two - constant pranks. Number three... Need I go on?

0:16:57 > 0:17:01You won't be laughing with some old dinosaur breathing down your neck!

0:17:01 > 0:17:06Hopefully Duke'll be back by then, and he can do the dinosaur taming!

0:17:06 > 0:17:11Mike, I think you need to accept that Duke's not coming back.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13You're just like us.

0:17:13 > 0:17:17You come in here thinking it's just for a few days,

0:17:17 > 0:17:19but it turns into forever.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22Well, better go and pick up Mr Fascinating.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31Thanks very much.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33Absolutely delightful to meet you.

0:17:33 > 0:17:37Mr Willis, there are some fascinating, um, period features...

0:17:37 > 0:17:39Would you like to see them?

0:17:39 > 0:17:44- Oh, really? Yes, please, that would be...- Fascinating?

0:17:47 > 0:17:50Let's play the Weakest Care Worker.

0:17:50 > 0:17:52WEAKEST LINK JINGLE

0:17:52 > 0:17:53Mr...?

0:17:53 > 0:17:55Er, Willis.

0:17:55 > 0:18:00Mr Willis, we have certain standards here at the dumping ground.

0:18:00 > 0:18:06And we all agree that our new head care worker must be creative.

0:18:06 > 0:18:10- I don't understand. - They have to be able to make things!

0:18:10 > 0:18:12Things like fancy dress.

0:18:12 > 0:18:15Here are your materials.

0:18:15 > 0:18:20Marco and Milly need two costume hats.

0:18:20 > 0:18:23You have five minutes.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26Your time starts...now.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35These are rubbish!

0:18:37 > 0:18:39I tried my best.

0:18:39 > 0:18:43You are the weakest care worker. ALL: Goodbye.

0:18:55 > 0:19:00So, Alice, what did his aura tell you?

0:19:00 > 0:19:02Was he a boring man, by any chance?

0:19:02 > 0:19:04Wow, Roxy, did you sense it, too?

0:19:21 > 0:19:24POP MUSIC ON RADIO

0:19:26 > 0:19:28GETS LOUDER

0:19:39 > 0:19:41Nice moves.

0:19:47 > 0:19:51Well, thank you very much. I'll wait to hear from you.

0:19:51 > 0:19:58- This way for the last part of the interview, please.- No, I've just...

0:20:00 > 0:20:04Oh. So, what's all this, then?

0:20:04 > 0:20:07We expect our head care worker to know all kinds of cool stuff.

0:20:07 > 0:20:12- So we have some questions to test you out on.- A quiz?

0:20:12 > 0:20:14Well, that should be a doddle.

0:20:14 > 0:20:18Used to have nightly quizzes in my last home.

0:20:18 > 0:20:20The losing team did the dishes.

0:20:20 > 0:20:25Ha-ha. Right. Ready when you are.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28Your five minutes start...now!

0:20:28 > 0:20:32- In The Simpsons, what's the name of the school principal?- Skinner.

0:20:32 > 0:20:34- Who does David Beckham play for? - Real Madrid.

0:20:34 > 0:20:39- What's the name of Gwyneth Paltrow's child?- Strawberry, peach... Apple!

0:20:48 > 0:20:52Mrs Hood, you scored full marks.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54Of course I did.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57Which means... you leave with nothing.

0:20:57 > 0:21:01- What? Why? - Nobody likes a know-it-all.

0:21:01 > 0:21:05- You are the weakest careworker. - ALL: Goodbye!

0:21:05 > 0:21:06Goodbye.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10Hmmph!

0:21:23 > 0:21:28So, Mystic Meg, what did you learn from your sixth sense this time?

0:21:28 > 0:21:33Her aura was very clear. There was a lot to see.

0:21:46 > 0:21:49It's not looking good. They've both been hopeless.

0:21:49 > 0:21:50And these are the top three.

0:21:50 > 0:21:56Chill, the next one's called Lucy. She might be what we're looking for.

0:21:56 > 0:22:00Lucy's passed the costume challenge and survived the general knowledge,

0:22:00 > 0:22:02but can she go all the way?

0:22:02 > 0:22:05It all rests on this final ball.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08Aw...

0:22:08 > 0:22:11Well, I've always said that nobody's perfect.

0:22:11 > 0:22:12She's fantastic.

0:22:21 > 0:22:26- There's only one person for the job. - That's me, right? Glad you think so.

0:22:28 > 0:22:33Mike, this is Lucy, our new head care worker. Well, hopefully.

0:22:33 > 0:22:35Really? Nice to meet you.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37I'd shake your hand, but...

0:22:41 > 0:22:46You two should talk. After all, you could be working together. See you.

0:22:49 > 0:22:52So the interview went well, then?

0:22:52 > 0:22:54Oh, it's the perfect job for me.

0:22:54 > 0:22:59- Have you worked in many care homes? - No. I've just finished university.

0:22:59 > 0:23:02Well, don't worry, you'll have plenty of support from me.

0:23:02 > 0:23:07I doubt I'll need your help. You fix the bikes, I'll sort out the kids.

0:23:34 > 0:23:39Time to reveal who you think is the strongest care worker...

0:23:45 > 0:23:47Stop! Wait!

0:23:50 > 0:23:54Lucy's aura is really weird. I don't like her.

0:23:54 > 0:23:56Don't be silly. Lucy will be great for us.

0:23:56 > 0:24:02- I hate to say it, but Alice is right.- What do you care?

0:24:02 > 0:24:07She worked at my old care home, but if you don't want to hear...fine.

0:24:07 > 0:24:12- I don't remember her.- That's because she dyed her hair.- Oh!

0:24:12 > 0:24:16- Come on, Roxy, spill the beans. - She left a boy in the attic

0:24:16 > 0:24:18with no food or water.

0:24:18 > 0:24:21He ended up eating his own pet gerbil.

0:24:21 > 0:24:26- Yeah, right(!) - Fine, don't say I didn't warn you.

0:24:26 > 0:24:30- I thought she'd be perfect.- Typical, this is as good as it gets for us.

0:24:30 > 0:24:33Mr Fascinating, an over-eager quiz captain

0:24:33 > 0:24:37- and the Wicked Witch of the West. - There's got to be someone else.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39Lunch, 15 minutes.

0:24:40 > 0:24:43And for dessert, there's ice cream!

0:24:45 > 0:24:47Under our noses the whole time.

0:24:52 > 0:24:54What?

0:25:07 > 0:25:09Lunch smells nice.

0:25:09 > 0:25:12Thanks. What are you after?

0:25:12 > 0:25:15- We just realised. You fix our bikes. - Remember our birthdays.

0:25:15 > 0:25:19And never lose your temper, no matter how many stunts we pull.

0:25:19 > 0:25:22- You could run this place. - Just doing my job.

0:25:22 > 0:25:25No, you really could run this place.

0:25:25 > 0:25:27Don't look so surprised.

0:25:27 > 0:25:31- We're all agreed that you're the best man for the job.- Who's we?

0:25:35 > 0:25:36ALL: Us!

0:25:36 > 0:25:39Wow, thanks.

0:25:39 > 0:25:43I'm not so sure it's really me, though, is it?

0:25:43 > 0:25:45Sorry, kids.

0:25:57 > 0:26:02- I can't believe I got my hopes up there.- This really sucks.

0:26:02 > 0:26:04I know.

0:26:05 > 0:26:10Well...I've made a decision.

0:26:10 > 0:26:13And I'm really going to miss you all,

0:26:13 > 0:26:18but I have no doubt my replacement is going to do a great job.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21So give a warm welcome to your new head care worker.

0:26:27 > 0:26:30Well, if you want me, you've got me.

0:26:30 > 0:26:32CHEERING

0:26:34 > 0:26:38Roxy, there's one thing I don't understand.

0:26:38 > 0:26:41Lucy said she'd just left university.

0:26:41 > 0:26:43she can't have been at your old care home.

0:26:43 > 0:26:47I know. I made it up, I didn't like the look of her either.

0:26:47 > 0:26:52Don't look at me like that. It doesn't mean I like you.

0:26:52 > 0:26:57Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd - 2005

0:26:57 > 0:27:00E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk