Meet the Humans

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03HE BEATBOXES

0:00:03 > 0:00:05Hm?!

0:00:05 > 0:00:08# Za-bee-bee Boo-boo-boo, wah-wah-wah-wah-way

0:00:08 > 0:00:10# Za-zoo-bee za-za Zoo-bee-zoo-bee-zoo

0:00:10 > 0:00:11# Wah-wah-wah-way

0:00:11 > 0:00:12Hm!

0:00:12 > 0:00:15# Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya!

0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya!

0:00:18 > 0:00:22- # Ya-ya - Ya!- Ya!

0:00:22 > 0:00:24# Ya-ya-ya-ya!

0:00:24 > 0:00:26HE GRUNTS

0:00:26 > 0:00:27# Ya-ya-ya-ya

0:00:27 > 0:00:29# Ya! #

0:00:29 > 0:00:30Shut up.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34- Is the camera on?- Yeah, yeah, it is.

0:00:34 > 0:00:36- Are you sure?- Yeah, yeah, the red light's, um...

0:00:36 > 0:00:39OK. It's Monday morning at the zoo.

0:00:39 > 0:00:41Oh, here we go.

0:00:41 > 0:00:44Listen, Jurgen, firstly, I'm supposed to start, secondly,

0:00:44 > 0:00:47this is a special show about the humans, but don't worry,

0:00:47 > 0:00:51I'm going to be calling on your, um, expertise, surely.

0:00:51 > 0:00:52Well, this is going to be embarrassing.

0:00:52 > 0:00:53Oh, shut up, Geoffrey.

0:00:53 > 0:00:55Hm.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57In this very special episode,

0:00:57 > 0:01:00Jurgen is going to especially introduce us to the very special

0:01:00 > 0:01:02human people that work at the zoo

0:01:02 > 0:01:05and we're going to discover what special jobs they do here.

0:01:05 > 0:01:06Is it my turn to speak now?

0:01:06 > 0:01:11No. Humans are an important daily part of daily life at the zoo.

0:01:11 > 0:01:12Do I speak now?

0:01:12 > 0:01:14No. Look... RECORD SCRATCHES

0:01:14 > 0:01:15..I'm doing this bit.

0:01:15 > 0:01:17I'll come back to you when I need you.

0:01:17 > 0:01:18That's how an interview works.

0:01:18 > 0:01:20OK, carry on.

0:01:20 > 0:01:22Where was I? Oh, yes.

0:01:22 > 0:01:25So, there are the groundspeople.

0:01:25 > 0:01:26There's Suzanne in the gift shop.

0:01:26 > 0:01:28- Oh, hello.- And Brenda in the kiosk.

0:01:28 > 0:01:29Say hello, Brenda.

0:01:30 > 0:01:32- No.- Oh, right.

0:01:32 > 0:01:34But this particular episode is all about the keepers...

0:01:34 > 0:01:37HE IMITATES WALRUS

0:01:37 > 0:01:40- Ooh.- ..and the vets.- That was a poop. The tiniest.

0:01:40 > 0:01:42Is it my turn now?

0:01:42 > 0:01:45No. Yes, but first a few guidelines.

0:01:45 > 0:01:47Here is how it's going to work.

0:01:47 > 0:01:50- I ask you the questions...- Ja, ja. - ..and you answer, yeah?

0:01:50 > 0:01:53- Yeah.- OK. I mean obviously I'm a very important...

0:01:53 > 0:01:56Ah, it's going to be a long day.

0:01:56 > 0:01:59- Jurgen.- Hm?- Jurgen, this episode is not about you,

0:01:59 > 0:02:01it's about the jobs the humans do.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03You do know what the humans do, don't you?

0:02:03 > 0:02:06- Uh, no.- Shut up, Geoffrey.

0:02:06 > 0:02:07Yes, I do.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09HE CLEARS THROAT

0:02:09 > 0:02:11When you are expert, like me,

0:02:11 > 0:02:15you can spot a typical human person from far, far away.

0:02:15 > 0:02:17They walk with only two feet.

0:02:17 > 0:02:21You see how the dangly arms just hang around at their sides

0:02:21 > 0:02:22doing nothing.

0:02:22 > 0:02:23They look so silly!

0:02:23 > 0:02:25HE LAUGHS

0:02:25 > 0:02:28Jurgen, were supposed to be talking about what humans do,

0:02:28 > 0:02:30not how to spot one.

0:02:30 > 0:02:32We all know what humans look like.

0:02:32 > 0:02:35Look, there's one. Watch and learn, Jurgen,

0:02:35 > 0:02:37Chaz'll show you how to do an interview.

0:02:37 > 0:02:38- Hi.- Hi, Chaz, how are you?

0:02:38 > 0:02:41- Good, thanks.- Right.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44Right, well, have you heard about the other humans at the zoo?

0:02:44 > 0:02:45I have heard about them.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47And have you heard what they do all day?

0:02:47 > 0:02:49I've heard that they're there,

0:02:49 > 0:02:50um, and...

0:02:52 > 0:02:55Right, well, OK, that didn't go exactly to plan.

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Right, Jurgen, you'll have to do.

0:02:58 > 0:03:00Tell us about the job the keepers do.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03OK, so when they arrive they see their greetings.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05- Oh, good morning.- Hello, there.

0:03:05 > 0:03:08- Oh, hello.- Morning. - Yeah, OK, thank you,

0:03:08 > 0:03:09I'm trying to do an interview here.

0:03:09 > 0:03:11- Hi.- Hello.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13- Hiya. - Can everyone stop saying hello?!

0:03:17 > 0:03:19- Well, that's awkward.- Thank you.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22So, when they have finished saying hello,

0:03:22 > 0:03:26they count the animals to make sure they're all still here.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29Some are good at counting, watch Helen.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31Oh, she's finished.

0:03:31 > 0:03:35Some are not so good, like Andy.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37- 17?- 17, excellent.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40Count them again. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten,

0:03:40 > 0:03:4211, 12, 13, 14.

0:03:42 > 0:03:4414? I thought you said 17?

0:03:44 > 0:03:46Yeah, 29 frogs.

0:03:46 > 0:03:48- What?- All present and accounted for.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50- Right.- See what I mean?

0:03:50 > 0:03:52Yes. OK, anyway.

0:03:52 > 0:03:54So, once they've counted all the animals...

0:03:54 > 0:03:56- Hello!- Morning!

0:03:56 > 0:03:57You all right?

0:03:57 > 0:03:58What do the keepers do next?

0:03:58 > 0:04:01Um...they do nothing.

0:04:01 > 0:04:03That's hardly true, boss.

0:04:03 > 0:04:04Yes, it is.

0:04:04 > 0:04:06Name me one thing they do.

0:04:06 > 0:04:08They, uh...they feed us...

0:04:10 > 0:04:12Ah, tastes good!

0:04:12 > 0:04:14..built this totally rad climbing frame.

0:04:14 > 0:04:15Oh, shut up, Dave!

0:04:15 > 0:04:18This is my interview.

0:04:18 > 0:04:19Well, come on then.

0:04:19 > 0:04:21You've had some suggestions.

0:04:21 > 0:04:25Now tell us in your own words what else the keepers do.

0:04:25 > 0:04:26No.

0:04:26 > 0:04:29Fine. Then I'll ask the actual keepers.

0:04:29 > 0:04:31They'll give me a sensible answer.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34- Hmm!- Er...Jim.- Sorry?

0:04:34 > 0:04:36What do you do all day?

0:04:36 > 0:04:38This? Er...

0:04:38 > 0:04:40Yeah, pretty much. Can't think of one bigger.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42What?

0:04:42 > 0:04:44- That's not really helpful, Jim.- Yeah.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46Andy, Mark?

0:04:46 > 0:04:47- KNOCK ON GLASS - What?

0:04:47 > 0:04:51What do the keepers do, you know, on a normal day?

0:04:51 > 0:04:53Mark's got a brain.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55Right. Well, great, keep up the good work.

0:04:55 > 0:04:56Eh?

0:04:56 > 0:04:59- JURGEN LAUGHS - You're so annoying.

0:04:59 > 0:05:02You are USELESS at this interview thingy.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04Yeah, well, that's rich coming from you.

0:05:04 > 0:05:07So far, you, the supposed expert,

0:05:07 > 0:05:11have told us zookeepers have dangly arms, say hello a lot

0:05:11 > 0:05:13and can count.

0:05:13 > 0:05:14Or at least some of the can.

0:05:14 > 0:05:19So what do zookeepers do for the rest of their day?

0:05:19 > 0:05:22- Mm?- Poo.- I'm sorry, Geoffrey?

0:05:22 > 0:05:26Mainly, for the rest of the day, they clear up poo.

0:05:26 > 0:05:28Don't be so stupid, Geoffrey.

0:05:28 > 0:05:31Yeah, I'm...I'm sure they must do more than just clean up poo.

0:05:31 > 0:05:34Er. No, just ask Jim.

0:05:34 > 0:05:35Do I have to?

0:05:36 > 0:05:39Jim, what is the job of being a zookeeper, mostly?

0:05:39 > 0:05:44Most of the job, being a zoo keeper, is

0:05:44 > 0:05:46sweeping up and picking up poo.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48- Told you.- Oh, come on.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50There must be more to be a keeper than that.

0:05:50 > 0:05:53- Erm, Helen...- If you don't know how to pick up poo,

0:05:53 > 0:05:55then you're really not going to do well.

0:05:55 > 0:05:57- SHE LAUGHS - It's pretty much the main aspect

0:05:57 > 0:06:00- of the job. - Is there really that much poo?

0:06:00 > 0:06:02- Wow!- This is just two days, this is.

0:06:04 > 0:06:05Two days?

0:06:06 > 0:06:09- It smells.- I bet it does.

0:06:09 > 0:06:11- You not going to help? - HE CHUCKLES

0:06:11 > 0:06:14Er, well, ordinarily, of course I would help but I've...

0:06:14 > 0:06:16I've got to give back to my very important interview.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21- You missed a bit.- Huh?

0:06:21 > 0:06:22Er...nothing!

0:06:23 > 0:06:28- So?- So...it seems Geoffrey was right.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30Hmm! I hate you, Geoffrey.

0:06:30 > 0:06:34I guess they're more like pookeepers than zookeepers, eh?

0:06:34 > 0:06:36Pookeeper! HE LAUGHS

0:06:36 > 0:06:37Do you get it?

0:06:38 > 0:06:39- Hmm! - TITTERING

0:06:39 > 0:06:41That's really funny, that's really funny!

0:06:41 > 0:06:45Right, well, moving on from keepers then, let's talk about the vets.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47Ah, yes, the vets.

0:06:47 > 0:06:50They are the ones that keeps the grass tidy, ja?

0:06:50 > 0:06:53Mmm, no, no, that's the groundspeople.

0:06:53 > 0:06:57The ones that mows the lawn, water the plants, that sort of thing.

0:06:57 > 0:06:59- Ah!- Then who are the vets, then?

0:07:01 > 0:07:03This is a waste of time.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06I'm going to go and interview someone who actually knows what

0:07:06 > 0:07:07- they're talking about.- What?

0:07:09 > 0:07:11Right. Hello!

0:07:11 > 0:07:13Can anyone here tell me what the vets do?

0:07:13 > 0:07:14Eh?

0:07:14 > 0:07:17- Woody.- Oh! Ah, well, you've, er,

0:07:17 > 0:07:20kind of put me on the...the spot, there.

0:07:20 > 0:07:24Er...no. No, I can't really think of anything.

0:07:24 > 0:07:25Helpful. Thanks, Woody.

0:07:25 > 0:07:30Anyone know what Jolene, Jo and Christa do?

0:07:30 > 0:07:31Well, what's he look like?

0:07:31 > 0:07:34Eh? He? They're all shes.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Suzanne, what do the vets do?

0:07:36 > 0:07:39- Ooh, that's a difficult question. - Yeah.

0:07:39 > 0:07:43I would say, we've got pens, we've got pencils,

0:07:43 > 0:07:45- we've got all things... - You've got what? No, no.

0:07:45 > 0:07:47Suzanne. Suzanne.

0:07:47 > 0:07:48Suzanne. The vets.

0:07:48 > 0:07:51It's about humans, hello. Not the...

0:07:51 > 0:07:53not those. The vets.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55..we've got little candleholders...

0:07:55 > 0:07:57HE GROANS I think I'll just go.

0:07:57 > 0:07:59..to drink out of.

0:07:59 > 0:08:01This is ridiculous.

0:08:01 > 0:08:03You know nothing, the rest of the animals know nothing,

0:08:03 > 0:08:06even the humans can't tell me what the vets do.

0:08:06 > 0:08:08This is the worst interview ever.

0:08:08 > 0:08:12OK, so the job of the vets is to go around the zoo

0:08:12 > 0:08:16checking the animals and mending any that are unwell.

0:08:16 > 0:08:17- Hi, Christa.- Hello.

0:08:17 > 0:08:22They do that by using fancy tools, special instruments...

0:08:22 > 0:08:24Hold on, this is good stuff.

0:08:25 > 0:08:28- ..operations.- Who's been feeding you all these lines?

0:08:28 > 0:08:31They also use tranquiliser guns.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33- Oh, good morning, Jo.- Oh!

0:08:33 > 0:08:35Ah, hold on.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38Geoffrey, have you been teaching him stuff?

0:08:38 > 0:08:42- Obviously.- Great, well, what else did he teach you?

0:08:42 > 0:08:47Well, did you know that in fact the vets are not human at all?

0:08:47 > 0:08:49They are actually robots.

0:08:50 > 0:08:53- What?- Ja, it's true.

0:08:53 > 0:08:54Isn't it, Geoffrey?

0:08:54 > 0:08:56SNIGGERING

0:08:58 > 0:08:59He'll believe anything!

0:09:01 > 0:09:02- Shut up, both of you.- All right.

0:09:02 > 0:09:07So, in reality you know absolutely nothing about the vets, Jurgen.

0:09:07 > 0:09:09Ja, I know one thing.

0:09:09 > 0:09:14The one call Christa, she is obsessed with poop.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16We get very excited about poop.

0:09:16 > 0:09:20You can tell a lot about an animal just looking at his poo.

0:09:20 > 0:09:21Is he pooing?

0:09:21 > 0:09:24Is poo the only thing you lot talk about?

0:09:24 > 0:09:25You're totally obsessed.

0:09:25 > 0:09:30- So...- So what?- So what did you learn today about the humans?

0:09:30 > 0:09:33Well, I guess I've learned that the keepers clean poo

0:09:33 > 0:09:35and vets like poo

0:09:35 > 0:09:37and... Hold on. Who's interviewing who here?

0:09:37 > 0:09:41- JURGEN WHISTLES - I ask you the questions

0:09:41 > 0:09:43and you answer, got it?

0:09:43 > 0:09:46That is how an interview works, ja?

0:09:46 > 0:09:47What? Hang on a minute, Jurgen.

0:09:47 > 0:09:52Now, tell me in your own words what I have taught you today about the

0:09:52 > 0:09:56- humans.- Well, you've taught me today that gorillas called Jurgen are

0:09:56 > 0:09:57really annoying.

0:09:57 > 0:10:01No, I said, "What have I taught you about the humans?"

0:10:01 > 0:10:02This is about the humans, ja.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04Gorillas called Jurgen don't listen.

0:10:04 > 0:10:07You're really not getting this whole question-answer thing, are you?

0:10:07 > 0:10:10- They are stubborn... - Let's try one last time.

0:10:10 > 0:10:13- They're rude.- What have I taught you about the humans?

0:10:13 > 0:10:15They don't know how to answer questions.

0:10:15 > 0:10:18You know, the ones with the dangly arms, walk around on two legs.

0:10:18 > 0:10:20- Jurgen?- Ja?

0:10:20 > 0:10:21Shut up!