0:00:02 > 0:00:03- BEATBOXING - # Bo bo bo-bo-bo... #
0:00:03 > 0:00:06- Hmmm? - # Zabbibidoo-boomba-wah-wah
0:00:06 > 0:00:08# Wah wah weyyyy...
0:00:08 > 0:00:10# Zap buduh-bap-bap, zoobeedoobeedo Wah wah wah weyyy...
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Hmmm!
0:00:12 > 0:00:13# Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya
0:00:13 > 0:00:15- # Ya-ya-ya-ya... # - Grrr...
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya
0:00:18 > 0:00:20- # Ya yah... - Yah...
0:00:20 > 0:00:22# Yah, yah, yah-yah
0:00:22 > 0:00:24- # Yah-yah... # - GRUNTS ANGRILY
0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Yah-yah-yah-yah!
0:00:27 > 0:00:28- # Yaahhhh! - La-la-la-la... #
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Shut up.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35It's Monday morning at the zoo and species of all shapes and sizes
0:00:35 > 0:00:37are waking up. Small ones...
0:00:37 > 0:00:39- Yes.- Good morning.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42Large ones and ugly ones.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45Oh! Well, you ain't no oil painting yourself, buddy.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49Thank you. Animals are an important daily part of daily life at the zoo.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52- All right?- Without them, well, there wouldn't be a zoo.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Oh, well, thank you very much.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Today is a very special day.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59The zoo needs a mascot,
0:00:59 > 0:01:02a well-loved animal to promote this amazing place.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04To try and find the perfect candidate,
0:01:04 > 0:01:08we're going to meet all the animals one by one, and to show me around,
0:01:08 > 0:01:10I'm lucky enough to be joined by
0:01:10 > 0:01:13the most knowledgeable person at the zoo.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16- Hello?- Not now, Jurgen.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Anyway, there is no knowledge
0:01:18 > 0:01:21that he doesn't know about the species that live here.
0:01:21 > 0:01:22Yes, that's me.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24No, Jurgen, not now.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27I'm supposed to be meeting Matt, the senior head keeper.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Oh, hang on. Where's he going?
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Matt is, er...
0:01:31 > 0:01:32Well, he's busy.
0:01:32 > 0:01:37He has his dancercize class, but I have made myself available.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40- Oh...- You're welcome. - Ugh... Here we go again.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Right, well, Matt was going to introduce me
0:01:42 > 0:01:46to all the animals at the zoo to decide on the new mascot.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49- Mascot?- A mascot is the face of the zoo.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52A popular animal that everyone looks up to.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53Well, that's me then, huh?
0:01:53 > 0:01:56I said popular animal that everyone looks up to.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Oh, shut up, Jeffrey.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Look, can I stop you both there?
0:01:59 > 0:02:03We can't decide until we've met all the animals in the zoo.
0:02:03 > 0:02:04- What?- It's only fair.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07OK, but can we at least start with me?
0:02:07 > 0:02:09I mean, the gorillas.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11- Hold on, boss, there's something I need to tell you.- Not now!
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Can you not see that I am...?
0:02:13 > 0:02:16- But, boss, there's no point in the...- Shut up, Jeffrey!
0:02:16 > 0:02:17Now, where was I?
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Look. Look, I promise we'll get to the gorillas.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23I mean, there's no doubt you'll make a pretty impressive mascot.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25But let's start with the cats.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Oh! I love kitty cats.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29They're so cute and fluffy.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33Who you calling cute and fluffy, banana breath?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35No, I'm talking about the big cats.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Really? But they're so lazy and boring.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Nobody is interested in them.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43They're always lying down.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Jurgen! Big cats are some of the most wonderful animals in nature.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48They'd make a great mascot.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52Take the fastest animal on land, the majestic cheetah.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54What, Cheryl?
0:02:54 > 0:02:56She's always asleep.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Hey, Cheryl. Cheryl.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02What? Oh, yeah, right, then I saved a dolphin.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04- What?- OK, maybe...
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Maybe Cheryl was a bad example, but what about the tigers?
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Fabi or Shakira? They seem very popular with visitors.
0:03:10 > 0:03:15Humans adore us as much as we adore humans.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Sauteed with shallots and a dash of ketchup.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19Mm!
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Well, actually, he's a little bit scary, to be honest.
0:03:22 > 0:03:23What about the lions?
0:03:23 > 0:03:28The lions? But they would make a terrible mascot.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31I mean, have you seen Neil?
0:03:31 > 0:03:34He is the laziest of them all.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37- Look at him. - Well, I doubt that, Jurgen.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39So, Neil, fancy being the zoo's mascot?
0:03:39 > 0:03:43Uh... Oh, dear, that all sounds like jolly hard work to me.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Ah. Maybe you're right, then.
0:03:45 > 0:03:50So can we talk about what a good mascot I would make now?
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Like I said, boss, you don't need to pick a mascot.
0:03:52 > 0:03:56And like I said, Jeffrey, shut up.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Now, I am...
0:03:58 > 0:04:01I mean, the gorillas are by far the...
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Honestly, we'll get there shortly.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05But first, let's move onto the big mammals.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07One of them might be good to promote the zoo.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10What? Aren't I a big mammal?
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Erm... But tell me about the other big mammals.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16The elegant giraffes, for instance.
0:04:16 > 0:04:21- Hi!- Hello!- Did you know they're tallest animal on the planet?
0:04:21 > 0:04:23They would look great on a poster.
0:04:23 > 0:04:24No, they wouldn't.
0:04:24 > 0:04:28Look, the girls just run around all day being annoying.
0:04:28 > 0:04:32- Ahhh! Shush! GIRAFFES:- Sorry...
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Then there is the dad, Yoda. I mean, he's really grumpy.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37I'm not grumpy.
0:04:37 > 0:04:41- He is grumpy.- OK, so maybe I can be a teeny bit grumpy.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- See?- OK.
0:04:43 > 0:04:44Well, what about Duchess?
0:04:44 > 0:04:48Elephants are magnificent, regal.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52- Hmm...- And they're famous for their incredible minds. She'd be perfect.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56Duchess, how do you feel about being a mascot of the zoo?
0:04:56 > 0:05:02Remind me of my time as captain of a submarine fighting Napoleon, yes.
0:05:02 > 0:05:03With the Romans.
0:05:03 > 0:05:08No, I mean a mascot, you know, for the zoo. How would you feel?
0:05:08 > 0:05:13Oh, the army! There's nothing like a regiment of fine young men.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16Right, well, maybe not Duchess then.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Who else is there?
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Er... Well, there are the Australian ones that hop.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22You mean kangaroos.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24G'day! G'day!
0:05:24 > 0:05:26They have disgusting table manners.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Just take a look at Shane over there.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30HE BURPS AND BURPS
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Yeah, yeah, all right, Shane.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33HE CARRIES ON BURPING
0:05:33 > 0:05:36I think you need to take something for that.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39- Yeah...- So, like I said,
0:05:39 > 0:05:42none of these animals would be a very good mascot.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Is it time to tell you about me?
0:05:44 > 0:05:46I mean, the gorillas, now?
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Because if so, I have been practising.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51I didn't... Well, we'll get to you lot. Yeah, don't worry.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53But first, what about the birds?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55They're so colourful.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57They would look lovely on a brochure.
0:05:57 > 0:05:58Let's have a look at those.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Look. Will you lot listen to me?
0:06:00 > 0:06:03There is absolutely no point whatsoever.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05This whole thing is like a total waste of time.
0:06:05 > 0:06:06That's right, Jeffrey.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09The birds ARE a total waste of time.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13I mean, look at the ones which live on the, um...water.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Ah! You mean the majestic flamingos.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18No, I mean the ducks.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Like that one. She's called Amanda.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22My name's Angela, actually.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Like I said, Andrea.
0:06:24 > 0:06:25It's Angela!
0:06:25 > 0:06:29Oh, whatever she's called, she's just dull and brown.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Not exactly mascot material.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Then there are the show-offy ones that think they are amazing.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Ah, you must mean the flamingos.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40- Oh, look, a camera. Yoo-hoo!- No.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42I mean Julian, the peacock.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Ta-da!
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Oh, so no flamingos then.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48- No.- It's a shame. They're my favourite.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Wouldn't hurt to ask. Hey, fancy being the zoo's mascot?
0:06:51 > 0:06:53I've been in nature films, you know.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55I'm available!
0:06:55 > 0:06:57Ooh! Glamorous, majestic and available.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59I'd say they're in with a chance.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02Oh, shut up. OK, so gorillas next?
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- No.- There are two subspecies of Eastern gorilla...
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Jurgen, don't worry.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10You'll have your chance to say why you should be the face of the zoo.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13- Hmm!- But let's take a look at the reptiles and amphibians next.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Oh, fine.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18They hop, slide, shuffle and snap.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20- OK, done.- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Slow down. Can we have a bit more info, please?
0:07:23 > 0:07:27Ugh! There is the no-legged, no-armed lizard, Matilda.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30- SHE BLOWS RASPBERRY She's a snake.- Yeah, yeah.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33And there's the boggle-eyed colourful one, Cass.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35The room's spinning.
0:07:35 > 0:07:36Cass is a chameleon.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38She may look stupid,
0:07:38 > 0:07:41but her tongue can reach its prey in less than a tenth of a second.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43What...? Argh!
0:07:43 > 0:07:44See?
0:07:44 > 0:07:47And, lastly, there are the incredibly slow ones with shells.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Man, what you talking about?
0:07:49 > 0:07:51That's Jimmy. Hey, Jimmy,
0:07:51 > 0:07:54why don't you show us your amazing beatboxing skills?
0:07:54 > 0:07:58Ha-ha! Watch this. They are terrible.
0:07:58 > 0:07:59Ahem!
0:07:59 > 0:08:03HE BEATBOXES
0:08:03 > 0:08:06- See?- Well, I thought it was pretty good for a giant tortoise,
0:08:06 > 0:08:07to be honest.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10So, glamorous flamingo and beatboxing tortoise
0:08:10 > 0:08:11are my favourites so far.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Boom! In your face, gorilla.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Oh, how rude.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18- What's next?- Well, actually, it's the primates.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Oh, at last!
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Cue the music.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Well, the gorillas are the best...
0:08:24 > 0:08:27No, no. No, no, we need to do the other primates first.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31You know, saving the best till last and all of that.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Look, you do know that this is totally pointless?
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Oh, shut up, Jeffrey.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Right, tell me about your lovely cousins around the zoo.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Everyone loves the apes and the monkeys.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44And then we get to talk about me, huh?
0:08:44 > 0:08:45I mean, the gorillas.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Yes.
0:08:47 > 0:08:48Well, OK.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50There is Gambira,
0:08:50 > 0:08:52- she is a revolting orange monkey. - SHE BREAKS WIND
0:08:52 > 0:08:54- Orangutan.- Oop! - SHE BURPS
0:08:54 > 0:08:58- Sorry.- She lives with Naomi, the uptight grey monkey.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00- Gibbon.- Whatever they are.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04They would be the worst mascot in the world.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06They just chase each other around all day.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08- Boo! Ha-ha-ha!- Stop doing that!
0:09:08 > 0:09:13See? But the public's favourite primate by far is...
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Hang on, hang on.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17What about Woody the baboon?
0:09:17 > 0:09:18Oh, you mean the horse monkey?
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Who are you calling horse monkey, huh?
0:09:20 > 0:09:23You have do admit, you do look a bit like a horse.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26You are on dangerous turf, my friend.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28If you're not careful, I'm going to come over there and...
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Guys, guys, guys, we're wasting time here.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33On second thoughts, maybe Woody is a bit too aggressive
0:09:33 > 0:09:34to represent the zoo.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37But there is one more primate you still haven't mentioned.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Finally, yes!
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Ahem! I'm really proud...
0:09:41 > 0:09:42No, no, no, not you, Jurgen.
0:09:42 > 0:09:46I was talking about the Emperor tamarin, Brutus.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50THUNDERCLAP, EVIL LAUGHTER Oh, actually, no.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52NARRATOR AND JURGEN: Much too evil.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55Yeah. Right, well, OK, Jurgen.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59It's between the flamingos, the tortoises and possibly the gorillas.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02- Now's your chance.- Finally!
0:10:02 > 0:10:05Why should you be the face of the zoo?
0:10:05 > 0:10:09It is my pleasure to finally introduce
0:10:09 > 0:10:12the best animal at the zoo.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15The most intelligent, the most handsome.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Yes, it's the...
0:10:17 > 0:10:19- It's the rhino.- What?
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Yeah! That's what I've been trying to tell you the whole time.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24The mascot has already been decided.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26- Look.- What?
0:10:26 > 0:10:29All your monkeying around has been a total waste of time.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32The keepers had already picked the rhino.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Oh, how could they?!
0:10:34 > 0:10:35Oh, dear, Jurgen.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37That's really unfortunate.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40I'll show you unfortunate!
0:10:40 > 0:10:42What's that, Jurgen? No, put the log down, because...
0:10:42 > 0:10:44No, listen, it wasn't my fault.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Jurgen, not at the camera!
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Ohh...
0:10:49 > 0:10:50I hate you.