Poo Dunnit?

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0:00:29 > 0:00:30Shut up.

0:00:32 > 0:00:34It's Monday morning at the zoo,

0:00:34 > 0:00:38and all the animals are preparing for yet another day

0:00:38 > 0:00:39in the limelight.

0:00:39 > 0:00:44Ooh! Play it cool, play it cool.

0:00:44 > 0:00:46Yeah, maybe work on that one.

0:00:46 > 0:00:49There are more than 2,000 different animals at the zoo.

0:00:49 > 0:00:53- SNORE Cheryl, we've started.- Ooh, ooh. Four gazelles, please. What?

0:00:53 > 0:00:57And each one is different, in its very own, different way.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Oi-oi-oi-oi!

0:00:59 > 0:01:03But different as they are, there's one thing that unites them all.

0:01:03 > 0:01:04And that is...

0:01:04 > 0:01:07Ah! It's love, isn't it?

0:01:07 > 0:01:09Ah. Er, no, it's not, actually.

0:01:09 > 0:01:12SPLAT It's, erm, poo.

0:01:12 > 0:01:16Poo is the most important daily part of daily life at the zoo,

0:01:16 > 0:01:18and no-one understands that more than Jim,

0:01:18 > 0:01:22who's been a keeper here for 26 years.

0:01:22 > 0:01:24Poo is absolutely everywhere at the zoo.

0:01:24 > 0:01:29Most of the job, of being a zookeeper, is sweeping up

0:01:29 > 0:01:30and picking up poo.

0:01:30 > 0:01:34So in many ways, Jim, you're more of a pookeeper, than a zookeeper.

0:01:36 > 0:01:38Anyway, whose poo is this?

0:01:38 > 0:01:42Well, this enclosure I'm cleaning out here is Duchess, our elephant's.

0:01:42 > 0:01:46She produces more poo than any other animal in the zoo.

0:01:46 > 0:01:50What utter nonsense, I never go to the, erm...

0:01:50 > 0:01:52What do you, what do you...?

0:01:52 > 0:01:55- The toilet?- Oh, um, yes. - Anyway, where was I?

0:01:55 > 0:01:59More than two tonnes of poo are produced every single day.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01And with so much poo at the zoo,

0:02:01 > 0:02:04keeping on top of it is a constant battle.

0:02:06 > 0:02:09Over on Gorilla Island, silverback and self-appointed

0:02:09 > 0:02:13King Of The Zoo, Jurgen, has decided something doesn't smell right.

0:02:15 > 0:02:17- OK, you ready?- Yep, fire away.

0:02:17 > 0:02:22So, yeah, I've been thinking, we do loads of poo, right, but then

0:02:22 > 0:02:26the keepers scoop up the poop and put it in that big, noisy trailer.

0:02:26 > 0:02:27But why?

0:02:29 > 0:02:31What do they want with all our poo? Jeffrey!

0:02:31 > 0:02:35- Are you even listening to me?- What are you going on about this time?

0:02:35 > 0:02:38- What do they do with all our poo? - They just put it on the flowers.

0:02:38 > 0:02:42- Oh, don't be so stupid.- It's called compost. It fertilizes the soil.

0:02:42 > 0:02:47- Great for rhubarb.- Jeffrey? - Yes, boss?- Shut up.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50The man in charge of poo at the zoo, is called Jay.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52Isn't that right, Jay?

0:02:52 > 0:02:53Jay? Jay!

0:02:55 > 0:02:59- Good morning.- Is it? What are you doing with all this poo?

0:02:59 > 0:03:01There's loads of poo in the zoo,

0:03:01 > 0:03:04and the majority of it ends up here in the dung heap.

0:03:04 > 0:03:06So it's important stuff?

0:03:06 > 0:03:09The zoo poo is a very valuable commodity, yes.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12- W-aluable? Did he say w-aluable?- No, no.

0:03:12 > 0:03:17- He said VALUABLE. As in its like, worth something.- What? Like, money?

0:03:17 > 0:03:19- No, not necessarily. - Like, thousands?

0:03:19 > 0:03:21- No, no, that's not what he said. - Millions?!

0:03:21 > 0:03:24- No, no, no, no!- MILLIONS!

0:03:24 > 0:03:27THAT'S why they want our poo!

0:03:27 > 0:03:30Oh, no, I got a feeling this is all going to end badly.

0:03:30 > 0:03:34That's it. No more poo. I am calling a poo strike.

0:03:38 > 0:03:42- OK, everyone. Listen to me, your leader.- No, you're not!

0:03:42 > 0:03:47- Shut up.- From now on, this is a no-poo zoo.

0:03:47 > 0:03:52- NO POO ZOO. NO POO ZOO. - Word spreads quickly in the zoo.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55- NO POO ZOO.- And instead of ignoring Jurgen as normal,

0:03:55 > 0:04:00the animals appear to be actually joining his strike. But why?

0:04:00 > 0:04:05- Perhaps head baboon, Woody, has some answers.- Hey! Is this thing on?

0:04:05 > 0:04:07- Yes, in your own time.- Thanks.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09Look, nobody gives a monkey's

0:04:09 > 0:04:12about that overgrown knuckle-dragger.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15But Jay the poo guy did say it was valuable.

0:04:15 > 0:04:19And, let's face it, if my poop is worth a million bazoolis,

0:04:19 > 0:04:23than I ain't giving it away free to nobody. Capische?

0:04:23 > 0:04:26But all this stoppin' from ploppin' ain't keeping us

0:04:26 > 0:04:27in the best of moods.

0:04:27 > 0:04:30- Hey, pops, I got to poop. - No, no, no, no!- But I need to go!

0:04:30 > 0:04:32No, no, no, no.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34GROANS But it's not just the baboons that are suffering the ill...

0:04:34 > 0:04:37PARP ..effects of the poo strike.

0:04:37 > 0:04:38Dave, come down here.

0:04:38 > 0:04:42- I need your help scaring some children.- Oh, Jurgen, man.

0:04:42 > 0:04:46I'm all like, full of poo. It's like, totally uncomfortable.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48PARP

0:04:48 > 0:04:52- Remind me, why are we doing this? - I told you, we are being exploited.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55And we want a piece of the poo pie!

0:04:55 > 0:04:58Oh man, I do not want a piece of poo pie, right now.

0:04:58 > 0:05:03Think about it, we give the keepers all this priceless poop...

0:05:03 > 0:05:06And what do they actually do for us?

0:05:06 > 0:05:09Well, uh, they, uh, they feed us, they give us medicine.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12- They build us totally rad climbing frames.- Oh, shut up!

0:05:12 > 0:05:15We get nothing, I tell you, nothing!

0:05:15 > 0:05:19There will be no pooing, until our demands are met.

0:05:19 > 0:05:25- And what are our demands? - We...want...a rollercoaster!

0:05:25 > 0:05:30- What?- A rollercoaster. - Those are our demands?- Mm-hmm.

0:05:30 > 0:05:34- What about something sensible? - Yeah, like bananas on a Friday.

0:05:34 > 0:05:38Oh, just trust me, boys. When have I ever let you down?

0:05:42 > 0:05:44With the strike in full effect,

0:05:44 > 0:05:48the gorillas aren't alone in feeling the strain.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51- PARP, SQUELCH - Oh, oh, eh, ah, oh!

0:05:51 > 0:05:56- PARP - How you feelin' bro? - Sluggish man, real sluggish!

0:05:56 > 0:05:57It's totally ruining my beatboxing!

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Every time I hit the snare,

0:05:59 > 0:06:00I feel I'm going to poo myself! Listen.

0:06:00 > 0:06:03HE MAKES BEATBOXING SOUNDS AND PARPS

0:06:03 > 0:06:06Oh, you see what I mean!

0:06:06 > 0:06:09Back on Gorilla Island, Jurgen begins his hard-fought

0:06:09 > 0:06:14- negotiation with Head Keeper Craig. - Hello, hello, hello, Craig?

0:06:14 > 0:06:17I know what you're doing with all our poop, Craig.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20Hmm, I'm playing hard ball, Craig.

0:06:20 > 0:06:24There'll be no more poo in the zoo, until the rollercoaster is built.

0:06:25 > 0:06:29That is absolutely my final offer.

0:06:29 > 0:06:33- What'd he say? - He's not saying anything.- Hmm.

0:06:33 > 0:06:36Right, go in with a low offer, and then build up from there.

0:06:36 > 0:06:40OK, OK. After extensive consultation,

0:06:40 > 0:06:44we have agreed that we will compromise with

0:06:44 > 0:06:46a bouncy castle.

0:06:47 > 0:06:52- But that's it. That is my final, final offer.- What's he say?

0:06:52 > 0:06:56Oh, he says nothing again. He's really good at this negotiating.

0:06:56 > 0:07:00OK, OK. Final, final offer, Craig.

0:07:01 > 0:07:04Paddling pool?

0:07:04 > 0:07:06Meanwhile, over at the cafe,

0:07:06 > 0:07:10there's a rumour spreading that the poo strike has hit a problem.

0:07:10 > 0:07:15- Right, so, I was just off to steal some kids ice creams.- Yeah?

0:07:15 > 0:07:18I was about to swoop down on a double-choco whippy surprise.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20Surprise, choco whippy surprise, yeah, yeah, yeah?

0:07:20 > 0:07:24When I got closer, it turned out, it was a massive poo!

0:07:24 > 0:07:26SCREAMS

0:07:26 > 0:07:29- No! Really?- Yeah.- There's supposed to be a poo strike on.

0:07:29 > 0:07:33So, the big question now is... POO-DUNNIT?

0:07:35 > 0:07:40- What? The strike has been broken? Who is the traitor?- It weren't me.

0:07:40 > 0:07:45- Margaret, is that you?- It's twice my size!- Don't look at me!

0:07:45 > 0:07:49Across the zoo, the mystery poo has caused a real stink.

0:07:49 > 0:07:51But no-one knows who's responsible.

0:07:51 > 0:07:54THUNDERCLAP

0:07:54 > 0:07:58- I know exactly who did it!- Who? - Well, it's obvious.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01He's more King Pong than King Kong.

0:08:01 > 0:08:06- It's that pumped-up primate, Jurgen.- What? No!

0:08:06 > 0:08:10- What a double-crossin' little... - Poo? Jurgen did a poo?

0:08:10 > 0:08:13Oh man, he promised us a rollercoaster.

0:08:13 > 0:08:16- It's lies I tell you, it's all lies!- It's not lies.

0:08:16 > 0:08:20I even have a witness to prove it. Isn't that right, Martin?

0:08:20 > 0:08:23Yeah, yeah, that's right, I saw him with my, um,

0:08:23 > 0:08:26my, what did I see it with?!

0:08:26 > 0:08:29Your own eyes, you saw HIM, with your own eyes, do a poo!

0:08:29 > 0:08:33- I saw him with his own eyes, do a, um, hmm...!- The poo, Martin!

0:08:33 > 0:08:35You saw him do the poo!

0:08:35 > 0:08:38Yes, yes, thank you, Martin, now hop it.

0:08:38 > 0:08:42There you go, conclusive evidence. The gorilla is guilty.

0:08:42 > 0:08:47- BOOS - No! I didn't do it! I didn't do it.

0:08:48 > 0:08:51Oh, I knew we shouldn't never have trusted that idiot gorilla.

0:08:51 > 0:08:52I'm letting one go.

0:08:52 > 0:08:53HE BEATBOXES

0:08:53 > 0:08:55SQUELCH

0:08:55 > 0:08:56Oh, that's much better.

0:08:56 > 0:08:59I really wanted that paddling pool. Might as well use the old one.

0:08:59 > 0:09:00PARP

0:09:00 > 0:09:05So the strike's over, and poo is well and truly back on the menu.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08- Vet Krista is as happy as a... - Poo...- What?

0:09:08 > 0:09:12You can tell a lot about an animal, just looking at its poo.

0:09:12 > 0:09:15Right, so can you tell which animal a poo has come from?

0:09:15 > 0:09:18Each animal forms the poo in slightly different ways,

0:09:18 > 0:09:22so you can recognise which animal produces which poo.

0:09:22 > 0:09:28Right, apparently, we can find out poo-dunnit, just by testing it.

0:09:28 > 0:09:31- Could be a nice little earner. - Excellent idea, Gaz.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34We going to give it to Krista then?

0:09:34 > 0:09:37- No need, my old friend.- Ooh! - No need.

0:09:37 > 0:09:41I just need to forensically disambiguate its precise chemical construction.

0:09:41 > 0:09:45- Oh... Eh?- I'm going to lick it.- Oh, ha-ha!

0:09:45 > 0:09:50That's brilliant, Gaz, brilliant. Oh, Gaz what are you doing?

0:09:50 > 0:09:54- I thought you were joking, oh mate! - All right, all right, I'm going in.

0:09:54 > 0:09:55Oh, Gaz.

0:09:58 > 0:10:04- It's a fake, it's a fake! It's a totally pretend poo.- Oh!

0:10:04 > 0:10:06It's a stitch up! Someone's tried to frame the gorilla!

0:10:06 > 0:10:09- Who would do that?- Who, indeed?

0:10:10 > 0:10:14- Know anything about this fake poo, Brutus?- No...

0:10:14 > 0:10:17MARTIN GIBBERS NERVOUSLY

0:10:17 > 0:10:19You put it there!

0:10:19 > 0:10:21Shush, Martin!

0:10:21 > 0:10:23- He said to make everyone think that the gorilla did it.- Martin!

0:10:23 > 0:10:25You said everyone would hate him,

0:10:25 > 0:10:28and then you'd take over the zoo, and eventually the world!

0:10:28 > 0:10:30Hush you venomous rat-monkey!

0:10:30 > 0:10:31BOOS

0:10:31 > 0:10:38I didn't do it! All right... I did! And I'll do it again!

0:10:38 > 0:10:40EVIL CACKLE

0:10:40 > 0:10:45With the poodunnit solved, peace has returned to the zoo.

0:10:45 > 0:10:50The poo is flowing. And Jurgen is back on the throne.

0:10:50 > 0:10:55- I told you I didn't do it.- And as it turns out, the poo is valuable.

0:10:55 > 0:10:59- But only for the plants.- Yeah! I told you that, too!

0:10:59 > 0:11:02- They call it, er, compost. - Oh, really?

0:11:02 > 0:11:06- So this whole strike was like, totally pointless.- No, it wasn't!

0:11:06 > 0:11:11- Check this out, guys!- No way! We got a paddling pool, man!

0:11:11 > 0:11:13Nice work, dude.

0:11:13 > 0:11:15SPLASH

0:11:15 > 0:11:16Oh.

0:11:16 > 0:11:18We HAD a paddling pool.

0:11:18 > 0:11:21- Nice work...dude.- Shut up.