A Portrait of Diego Camel

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05I was hit by a can, opened it and out popped a genie!

0:00:05 > 0:00:08# Three wishes set me free

0:00:08 > 0:00:10# Trust me I'm a genie

0:00:10 > 0:00:13- # Wish one -- And on that first day

0:00:13 > 0:00:16- # I got my very own cafe -- Taa-daa!

0:00:16 > 0:00:18- # Wish two -- That was cool

0:00:18 > 0:00:21- # I got my own swimming pool - - Hee-hee!

0:00:21 > 0:00:24# But then I dropped the magic can

0:00:24 > 0:00:27# And it filled with sand

0:00:27 > 0:00:30# And the works got jammed

0:00:30 > 0:00:33- # Wish three -- a total catastrophe

0:00:33 > 0:00:35# The genie raved and ranted

0:00:35 > 0:00:38# But no third wish was granted

0:00:38 > 0:00:41# If one more wish comes true

0:00:41 > 0:00:44# Then I'll be free from you

0:00:44 > 0:00:46# Trust me I'm a genie. #

0:00:57 > 0:01:03Newsflash. It seems that gorgeous movie icon Rita Van Hump has dumped her co-star, Sam Sahara.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06The shooting of their latest blockbuster, Cleopatra Camel,

0:01:06 > 0:01:08has been stopped.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Rita is looking for a replacement co-star.

0:01:10 > 0:01:14Darling, I'm simply looking for a masterpiece.

0:01:14 > 0:01:17So who will that camel be?

0:01:17 > 0:01:18Eh?

0:01:19 > 0:01:22Masterpiece?

0:01:22 > 0:01:25Face the reality, you're no masterpiece.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31Argh!

0:01:33 > 0:01:36I don't want to sound superior or anything,

0:01:36 > 0:01:38but if Rita really wants a masterpiece,

0:01:38 > 0:01:41she should ask for a desert fox.

0:01:42 > 0:01:46You should audition for that part in the movie, Diego.

0:01:46 > 0:01:51- Easy! Make a wish.- No, Diego. You don't need magic to get the part.

0:01:51 > 0:01:54You're a very good looking camel.

0:01:54 > 0:01:58Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha! That's a great joke!

0:01:58 > 0:02:01You always crack me up, Zazie.

0:02:01 > 0:02:02Huh?

0:02:02 > 0:02:04Now look what you've done.

0:02:07 > 0:02:12- Diego, listen, I didn't mean it like that.- So what did you mean?

0:02:12 > 0:02:15Close your eyes and think about it.

0:02:15 > 0:02:19You've got style. Desert style, alright?

0:02:19 > 0:02:25But to swim with the big sharks in the city, you need city style.

0:02:25 > 0:02:29With minimum training, you could do it. No problem.

0:02:29 > 0:02:33But we don't have time for that. The audition has already started.

0:02:33 > 0:02:36This is an emergency.

0:02:36 > 0:02:40Quick! I wish to be Rita's new co-star.

0:02:42 > 0:02:48I call upon the powers that be to grant this wish and set me free.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57Ouch!

0:02:57 > 0:03:00Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! It's raining really hard today.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03But it's raining tubes of paint.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Ziggy, are you alright?

0:03:06 > 0:03:10Don't panic. This can's indestructible.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15Have you got the telephone number for Failed Wish Anonymous?

0:03:16 > 0:03:21Maybe if you paint her a nice picture, she'll give you the part.

0:03:21 > 0:03:24I can't paint and the audition's today.

0:03:24 > 0:03:28Relax. This is a magical canvas.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33There's gotta be a way. Trust me, I'm a genie.

0:03:33 > 0:03:36Green for the leaves and yellow for the head.

0:03:36 > 0:03:40- There! What do you think? - ALL: Urgh!

0:03:40 > 0:03:44- You do better. - Ziggy, look at Diego!- What?

0:03:44 > 0:03:46What are you all staring at?

0:03:46 > 0:03:49Argh! Ziggy, what's happening?

0:03:51 > 0:03:54It's the canvas! I knew it was magic.

0:03:54 > 0:03:57Grrr! I'm not a sunflower.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59Whoa!

0:03:59 > 0:04:01Erm, what was the wish?

0:04:01 > 0:04:06He wished to be Rita's co-star... Wait! That's it!

0:04:06 > 0:04:09Rita wanted a masterpiece, so let's paint a masterpiece.

0:04:09 > 0:04:11How hard can that be?

0:04:12 > 0:04:14Ah.

0:04:14 > 0:04:16Huh?

0:04:19 > 0:04:21Hey, I'm invisible.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04Larry, you're a genius.

0:05:04 > 0:05:05Not really, man.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09Painting's much better.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12Your jealousy proves that I have the look.

0:05:12 > 0:05:17Such poise, such elegance. Quick, to the Larry mobile.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25Oi! Watch it, will you?!

0:05:25 > 0:05:27No time for autographs.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36- Who was that guy?- You mean Diego?

0:05:36 > 0:05:38That was Diego?

0:05:38 > 0:05:42Give me the name of his tailor and his make-up artist. That is proper!

0:05:42 > 0:05:45It's all down to his genie. He's got a magic canvas.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48Everything painted on it becomes real.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51Oh. Really?

0:05:51 > 0:05:53Except it only works on Diego.

0:05:54 > 0:05:55Tony!

0:05:57 > 0:06:00To freedom and beyond!

0:06:00 > 0:06:05Larry, don't you think you've made me a little on the podgy side?

0:06:05 > 0:06:07Nor quite tall enough.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12Next.

0:06:14 > 0:06:17Rita, darling.

0:06:17 > 0:06:21Don't darling me, Sam. It's over.

0:06:21 > 0:06:24I can't be bought with flowers.

0:06:24 > 0:06:28- Now, stay out!- But these are your favourite flowers.

0:06:34 > 0:06:39Larry, don't you think my eyelids look a bit too puffy?

0:06:39 > 0:06:43Your jaw is square, man, your cheeks straight and your nose hair curly.

0:06:43 > 0:06:45You just couldn't look better.

0:06:46 > 0:06:47Huh? Argh!

0:06:49 > 0:06:51Who are you?

0:06:51 > 0:06:56Your replacement. Now, off you go. We've got work to do.

0:06:58 > 0:06:59Argh!

0:06:59 > 0:07:04Diego, your whole life has been leading up to this moment.

0:07:04 > 0:07:06Have you memorised the script?

0:07:06 > 0:07:09Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing can stop me now.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12PANTING

0:07:14 > 0:07:15Oh.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20Ha-ha-ha! Yes!

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Next.

0:07:27 > 0:07:29Wow!

0:07:35 > 0:07:39Wow! What a stunner!

0:07:46 > 0:07:50- Cleopatra, camel of... - Rita, my love.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53Oh, not again!

0:07:53 > 0:07:55Give me another chance.

0:07:55 > 0:07:58- What do you think you're... Whoa! - Oh-oh!

0:08:01 > 0:08:03I'm feeling all blurry.

0:08:03 > 0:08:06Erm, we'll be right back.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09No! Stay here.

0:08:09 > 0:08:10But Rita...

0:08:12 > 0:08:14I brought your favourite chocolates.

0:08:14 > 0:08:17I can't be bought with chocolates.

0:08:19 > 0:08:20Get out!

0:08:20 > 0:08:23I want that handsome camel back.

0:08:28 > 0:08:31That's funny, man. It looks like...

0:08:31 > 0:08:32Money.

0:08:35 > 0:08:37So where is it?

0:08:38 > 0:08:43Damn! The canvas! It's gone!

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Can we go home, guys?

0:08:45 > 0:08:49Be quiet or the next time we dine out, I'll leave you as a tip.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51We have to get that canvas back.

0:08:53 > 0:08:56Look! The thief has left a trail.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02I want a gold limousine. OK, where is it then?

0:09:02 > 0:09:05HORN BEEPS

0:09:06 > 0:09:08Way cool!

0:09:08 > 0:09:09HORN BEEPS

0:09:09 > 0:09:13- Wow!- Tony! I should have guessed.

0:09:13 > 0:09:16You're the thief who took my magic canvas.

0:09:16 > 0:09:20'Thief' is such a nasty word Ziggy.

0:09:20 > 0:09:22I only borrowed it.

0:09:22 > 0:09:24Diego, follow that scorpion.

0:09:24 > 0:09:26ENGINE ROARS

0:09:36 > 0:09:38Oh no!

0:09:38 > 0:09:41Watch out!

0:09:41 > 0:09:44Whoa! CRASH

0:09:44 > 0:09:47Hey, Ziggy, I'm me again!

0:09:47 > 0:09:50Alright, if you insist. You can keep it.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

0:09:58 > 0:10:00PUNCHING

0:10:00 > 0:10:04Hey, Diego, why don't you do the audition anyway?

0:10:04 > 0:10:06You've nothing to lose, man.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09What? With that face?!

0:10:09 > 0:10:11Grrrr!

0:10:11 > 0:10:15Great idea. Where there's a wish, there's a way.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20Why did he leave?

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Why?

0:10:28 > 0:10:31Cleopatra, camel of the Nile.

0:10:31 > 0:10:34They said you were the most beautiful in all of Egypt.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36I disagree.

0:10:36 > 0:10:41You are the loveliest in all the world.

0:10:43 > 0:10:48Well, seeing as there's no-one better, my new co-star will be...

0:10:48 > 0:10:52Rita, cheri, darling.

0:10:52 > 0:10:55For the last time, Sam, it's over!

0:10:55 > 0:10:59But Rita, these are your favourite rubies.

0:10:59 > 0:11:03- That's at least 25 carat... - You can't buy me with...

0:11:04 > 0:11:09Rubies? Diamonds? Real ones?

0:11:12 > 0:11:15Oh, Sam, how could I live without you?

0:11:15 > 0:11:17So do I get the part?

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Of course you do.

0:11:19 > 0:11:22Oh no!

0:11:22 > 0:11:24My wish!

0:11:25 > 0:11:29Cleopatra, camel of the Nile.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32They said you were the most beautiful in all of Egypt.

0:11:32 > 0:11:34I disagree.

0:11:34 > 0:11:37You are the loveliest in all the world.

0:11:37 > 0:11:41- Hey Sam, do you want mustard? - Cut! Who said that?

0:11:43 > 0:11:47Look on the bright side. At least Diego's working in showbiz!

0:11:56 > 0:11:58Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:12:01 > 0:12:03E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk