Episode 8

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0:00:04 > 0:00:06- (VOICE OF REGGIE YATES): - Hello, everyone, and welcome

0:00:06 > 0:00:07to Walk on the Wild Side.

0:00:07 > 0:00:10I'm DJ, actor, presenter, documentary maker

0:00:10 > 0:00:14and part-time market trader, today's special guest host, Zebbie Yates.

0:00:14 > 0:00:16LAUGHTER

0:00:17 > 0:00:20Um, excuse me a minute. Is there a problem?

0:00:22 > 0:00:27Ha-ha! Zebbie? Zebbie! What kind of name is that?!

0:00:27 > 0:00:28HE GUFFAWS

0:00:28 > 0:00:32Well, it's short for zebra. So...

0:00:32 > 0:00:35Ha! Short for zebra! Ha-ha!

0:00:36 > 0:00:40Short for zebra! Ha-ha-ha!

0:00:40 > 0:00:43Brilliant. Laugh it up. Go on. Go on!

0:00:43 > 0:00:45Keep laughing.

0:00:45 > 0:00:46LAUGHTER CONTINUES

0:00:46 > 0:00:48Ugh! Run the titles.

0:01:23 > 0:01:26# Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, I just have to bounce

0:01:26 > 0:01:29# Bounce bounce, bounce bounce, it's helped me shed an ounce.

0:01:29 > 0:01:33# I say, if you want to bounce, bounce on that branch and bounce

0:01:33 > 0:01:36# Cease, cease, cease, cease, cease that bouncing, please

0:01:36 > 0:01:40# It hurts my head, I'm most upset, don't make me get on my knees

0:01:40 > 0:01:43# If you don't cease, I'll break the peace and screech until you CEASE! #

0:01:43 > 0:01:47Oh, right. You've really crushed my bouncing there.

0:01:47 > 0:01:50But I'll just have one more bounce!

0:01:50 > 0:01:51All right!

0:01:53 > 0:01:55I don't get it.

0:01:55 > 0:01:59Why is it that you can have a pair of apples,

0:01:59 > 0:02:03but you can't have an apple of pears?

0:02:03 > 0:02:05I just don't get it.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08Am I really stupid?

0:02:08 > 0:02:10SHORT, INTENSE BREATHS

0:02:10 > 0:02:13Ha, ha, huh, huagh!

0:02:14 > 0:02:16Oh, yeah, I've been grounded.

0:02:16 > 0:02:18BADUM-TISH!

0:02:19 > 0:02:24(CHICKS): Mum! Mum! Can you do some more impressions?

0:02:24 > 0:02:27More? OK, let's have a think.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29Right, here's one.

0:02:29 > 0:02:30MOO!

0:02:30 > 0:02:33(CHICKS): Cow! That's a cow! Definitely a cow.

0:02:33 > 0:02:35Well done, you clever things! Here's another.

0:02:35 > 0:02:37SHE WHINNIES

0:02:37 > 0:02:40Horse! it's a horse!

0:02:40 > 0:02:42Brilliant! OK, this is the last one.

0:02:42 > 0:02:48MELODIC SYNTHESISED BLEEPING

0:02:48 > 0:02:51Um, um, em, um, Simon Cowell?

0:02:51 > 0:02:56No, no, no. Dearie me. It was Fireflies by Owl City.

0:02:56 > 0:02:58Oh, well, you can't win them all.

0:02:59 > 0:03:02Walk on the Wild Side Productions proudly presents

0:03:02 > 0:03:04Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

0:03:04 > 0:03:07Willy? Willy Wonka? Can I come to your chocolate factory?

0:03:07 > 0:03:11Charlie, got a ticket? If you haven't got a ticket, you can't come in. It's got to be gold.

0:03:11 > 0:03:14Got one, thanks, mate. Can I bring my granddad, by the way?

0:03:14 > 0:03:16Charlie, Charlie, I've changed my mind.

0:03:16 > 0:03:18Get out now, please, if you don't mind, thank you very much.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21Oh, no! What have I done wrong? Was it the burp?

0:03:21 > 0:03:23The lemonade's a bit gassy and I don't really like gobstoppers.

0:03:23 > 0:03:26Oh, right, I was only joking. You can have the factory.

0:03:26 > 0:03:28You were much nicer than the rest of those kids.

0:03:28 > 0:03:32What? What?!

0:03:32 > 0:03:34# I really, really, really, really, really love snow

0:03:34 > 0:03:37# I really, really, really, really, really love snow

0:03:37 > 0:03:39# Yes, I roll in snow cos it's such fun

0:03:39 > 0:03:41# To stop me getting frostbite on my bum

0:03:41 > 0:03:43# I really, really, really, really, really love snow

0:03:43 > 0:03:46# I really, really, really, really, really love snow

0:03:46 > 0:03:48# I really, really, really, really

0:03:48 > 0:03:51# Really, really, really, really, really love snow! #

0:03:51 > 0:03:53Oh, hi!

0:03:53 > 0:03:56Will you stop watching me loving snow?

0:03:56 > 0:03:57It's getting a bit weird.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02Taxi! Did someone call a taxi?

0:04:03 > 0:04:06Oh, I can see you, sir! Just coming.

0:04:06 > 0:04:10Here I come. One taxi, for sir.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15Aargh! Help! Help! Good grief, no!

0:04:15 > 0:04:18OK, sir, where would you like to go, sir?

0:04:18 > 0:04:21Didn't order a taxi! What are you doing?!

0:04:21 > 0:04:23I'm afraid I can't hear you, sir,

0:04:23 > 0:04:25you're going to have to speak up a bit!

0:04:25 > 0:04:27Back, back in the river is fine!

0:04:27 > 0:04:30Yes, sir, I'll make sure I deliver you on time.

0:04:30 > 0:04:34No, you misunderstood me. Please put me back in the water!

0:04:34 > 0:04:38You want to go to Dudley, but we need to pick up your daughter?

0:04:38 > 0:04:39No!

0:04:39 > 0:04:44Yo! Right back at ya! That'll be £30 in total.

0:04:44 > 0:04:45Oh, it's all too much!

0:04:45 > 0:04:47OK, OK, call it 25.

0:04:47 > 0:04:49Mind if I turn the music up?

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Please!

0:04:51 > 0:04:55MUSIC: # Love lifts us up where we belong

0:04:59 > 0:05:03# On a mountain high! Yeah! #

0:05:03 > 0:05:08I'll have you there in no time, sir, just you relax.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11Daytime. Night-time!

0:05:11 > 0:05:13Daytime. Night-time!

0:05:13 > 0:05:16Daytime! Night-time!

0:05:17 > 0:05:21- Oh, are you still playing that stupid game?- Daytime!

0:05:21 > 0:05:25No, this one is completely - night-time - different!

0:05:25 > 0:05:30- Oh, so what's this one called, then? - Er, daytime, night-time!

0:05:30 > 0:05:33- Oh, give me strength! - Daytime! Night-time?

0:05:35 > 0:05:38Here we are, watch, watch, watch. Oh-oh-oh-oh-ah-ah-ah!

0:05:38 > 0:05:41We're at an audition for Wildside's Got Talent

0:05:41 > 0:05:44and the best you can come up with is an impression of a monkey?

0:05:44 > 0:05:46Yes, and what? Oh-oh-oh!

0:05:46 > 0:05:49- But you ARE a monkey!- Oh, right! What can you do, then?

0:05:49 > 0:05:53Ant and Dec! Prepare to be amazed! Howay, howay, howay!

0:05:53 > 0:05:54Oh, that is brilliant!

0:05:54 > 0:05:59- Howay, howay, howay! Can I be the little one?- Howay! Howay! No!

0:05:59 > 0:06:05What you looking at? You're the ones that are the wrong way up. Yeah!

0:06:07 > 0:06:13- HE RAPS:- Yeah, Walk On The Wild Side. Collaboration.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16Crab nation!

0:06:16 > 0:06:18# Look at me, I'm a crab, and I'm walking sideways

0:06:18 > 0:06:21# Right where the tide sways

0:06:21 > 0:06:23# I'm lean, I'm mean, I'm Crabfessor Green

0:06:23 > 0:06:26# And to make my point, I'm gonna hit your screen

0:06:26 > 0:06:29# I'm dumbfounded, surrounded by these talking creatures

0:06:29 > 0:06:32# Why am I doing this, instead of starring in features?

0:06:32 > 0:06:34# OK, the animals are pretty funny, it's sunny

0:06:34 > 0:06:37# And it beats cleaning the dunny, doesn't it, honey?

0:06:37 > 0:06:40# Yeah! And they pay you money. #

0:06:40 > 0:06:44# That's true, but for a crab, money isn't essential anyway

0:06:44 > 0:06:47# Gotta go, this next clip's got potential! #

0:06:48 > 0:06:52Hmph! Well, that's a bit weird.

0:06:52 > 0:06:53Well...

0:06:54 > 0:06:57HE GURGLES

0:06:57 > 0:06:59Oh, no, where are my trunks?

0:07:00 > 0:07:04Where are my trunks? Oh, no, not again. Not again!

0:07:04 > 0:07:10Oh, oh, can't see them - where are they? Must be somewhere.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12Actually, yes, I'm going to get out.

0:07:12 > 0:07:15Hope nobody sees. Yes. Yes.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19Yeah. Nobody noticed. All fine.

0:07:19 > 0:07:21Nobody around.

0:07:21 > 0:07:24- Bear bottom!- Oh!- Ha-ha!

0:07:24 > 0:07:27Worst! Day! Ever!

0:07:27 > 0:07:32It's Tony, Tony, the Easily Impressed Chimpanzee.

0:07:32 > 0:07:33Wo-ow!

0:07:35 > 0:07:36Wow!

0:07:36 > 0:07:38Oh, my word!

0:07:39 > 0:07:40That is amazing!

0:07:41 > 0:07:44Wo-ha-ha-ow!

0:07:44 > 0:07:46Sheila? Sheila?

0:07:46 > 0:07:48Come, have a look at this!

0:07:48 > 0:07:50What is it this time?

0:07:50 > 0:07:53There's these animal things in the air, just floating around

0:07:53 > 0:07:57clearly defying Newton's Law of Universal Gravity.

0:07:57 > 0:08:00Tony, they're called birds!

0:08:00 > 0:08:03They fly, yeah?

0:08:03 > 0:08:07Birds?! Wo-ow!

0:08:07 > 0:08:11I'm more of a Galileo man myself.

0:08:11 > 0:08:12Wow!

0:08:13 > 0:08:16Wow!

0:08:16 > 0:08:18Oh, yeah?

0:08:18 > 0:08:20'Ere!

0:08:20 > 0:08:22BIRD WHISPERS CONSPIRATORIALLY

0:08:22 > 0:08:25Yeah? Oh, right, that is interesting.

0:08:25 > 0:08:27WHISPERING CONTINUES

0:08:27 > 0:08:29There you go, bye.

0:08:29 > 0:08:34Are you OK, Malcolm? You look a bit weirded out.

0:08:34 > 0:08:36I am, Maureen.

0:08:36 > 0:08:39Apparently you're going to interrupt this sentence by breaking wind...

0:08:39 > 0:08:41PHRRT!

0:08:41 > 0:08:44Excuse me! That's weird!

0:08:44 > 0:08:48And then Clive is going to come over and make me move back out the way.

0:08:48 > 0:08:49Who's Clive?

0:08:49 > 0:08:51I'm Clive!

0:08:51 > 0:08:54- How did you know? - A little bird told me!

0:08:54 > 0:08:57Then what happens? Did the little bird tell you?

0:08:57 > 0:09:00He said this clip is going to end here.

0:09:00 > 0:09:01No!

0:09:05 > 0:09:08BIRD WHINES

0:09:08 > 0:09:09I'm caught on this branch!

0:09:10 > 0:09:12What is going on?!

0:09:16 > 0:09:19When will all this supergluing stop?!

0:09:26 > 0:09:28If I wasn't a...

0:09:28 > 0:09:30I just can't stop flurping. Ooh!

0:09:30 > 0:09:32Flurp!

0:09:36 > 0:09:38- ITALIAN ACCENT: - Of course it wasn't-a me!

0:09:38 > 0:09:41I'm-a too busy making the doughballs!

0:09:47 > 0:09:48No!

0:09:56 > 0:10:00So, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted earlier,

0:10:00 > 0:10:01I'm Zebbie Yates.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04As well as acting, DJing and presenting,

0:10:04 > 0:10:06not many people know that I also do a bit of magic.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09Watch while I mysteriously allow this bird

0:10:09 > 0:10:12to lean through one of my ears and come right out the other side.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14Watch carefully. Alakazam!

0:10:14 > 0:10:16Impressive, eh? Huh?

0:10:16 > 0:10:18THEY LAUGH

0:10:18 > 0:10:21Call that magic?!

0:10:21 > 0:10:23Yeah, what's so funny?

0:10:23 > 0:10:26There were two birds! It was so obvious!

0:10:26 > 0:10:29THEY LAUGH

0:10:29 > 0:10:32Thanks. I'm going to get kicked out of the Magic Circle now.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35THEY LAUGH

0:10:35 > 0:10:38Hey, have you met the cutest bird in the world?

0:10:38 > 0:10:43# Cutest, cutest, cutest, cutest The cutest bird in the world

0:10:43 > 0:10:46# Cutest, cutest, cutest, cutest

0:10:46 > 0:10:49# She's so cute, she's the cutest thing you've ever seen

0:10:49 > 0:10:54# Cutest, cutest, cutest, cutest The cutest bird in the world

0:10:54 > 0:10:57# She's got a bright red belly She loves her cake and jelly

0:10:57 > 0:11:00# Cute, cute, cute The cutest bird in the world. #

0:11:00 > 0:11:04Cute, but I once beat up a bear at a boxing match. So, watch it.

0:11:04 > 0:11:07# The cutest bird in the world! #

0:11:07 > 0:11:09Cinderella...

0:11:09 > 0:11:11was a...

0:11:16 > 0:11:18..unhappy...

0:11:22 > 0:11:27..girl with two ugly...

0:11:33 > 0:11:35..sisters.

0:11:37 > 0:11:41# He's big and he's brave and he's not feeble

0:11:41 > 0:11:43# Andy the unflappable eagle. #

0:11:43 > 0:11:46One thing I'm not afraid of is goats.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49No-one ever said old Andy the eagle is afraid of goats. No, sirree.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51Goats don't bother me none. Not afraid of...

0:11:51 > 0:11:53- Boo!- Argh!

0:11:53 > 0:11:56Oh, sorry, Andy! I forgot you were afraid of goats.

0:11:56 > 0:12:00No, you just surprised me, that's all.

0:12:00 > 0:12:03This is unbelievable! I can't find me wallet.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06- This is a disaster.- Oh, you're kidding. What does it look like?

0:12:06 > 0:12:09Stained yellow pigskin, very soft, about the size of a Kit Kat.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12Had my library card, bus pass and pilot's licence inside.

0:12:12 > 0:12:15And this was definitely the last place you saw it?

0:12:15 > 0:12:18Definitely. Because I'd just been fishing and then I... Hang on.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20Oh, no. Hang on. I just remembered.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23I've actually never owned a wallet or bus pass. Oh, dear!

0:12:23 > 0:12:26What am I like?! Sorry, lads. As you were.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28I'm getting a bit fed up with this.

0:12:28 > 0:12:33The... moral is...

0:12:38 > 0:12:40..have...

0:12:43 > 0:12:48..a unique shoe size.

0:12:49 > 0:12:54OK, here we go! Crabfessor Green.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57Drop it! DANCE MUSIC

0:12:57 > 0:13:01Eh... Oh...

0:13:01 > 0:13:03Can't remember the words.

0:13:03 > 0:13:05Hold it, hold it. Hang on.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07RECORD SCRATCHES

0:13:07 > 0:13:11All right. Yeah, I've got it. One more time. Here we go. Hit the beat!

0:13:11 > 0:13:13DANCE MUSIC

0:13:13 > 0:13:15The...

0:13:15 > 0:13:18No. Stop it again. It's gone. Give us a minute.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20I'll get it in a minute.

0:13:20 > 0:13:23HE TRIES TO WHISTLE

0:13:25 > 0:13:28Oh, it's no good. I can't do it.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30HE BLOWS

0:13:32 > 0:13:36All you have to do is purse your lips and blow, they say.

0:13:36 > 0:13:38HE TRIES TO WHISTLE

0:13:38 > 0:13:42It's not working! Why isn't it working?

0:13:42 > 0:13:46HE WHISTLES "HEY-HEY, WE'RE THE MONKEYS"

0:13:51 > 0:13:53HE BLOWS

0:13:53 > 0:13:55How does he do that?!

0:13:55 > 0:13:57MUSIC STARTS

0:13:59 > 0:14:03# Doo doo doo The Snowy Otter Conga

0:14:03 > 0:14:07# Doo doo doo In three feet of snow... #

0:14:07 > 0:14:09Wait! I can't keep up in this snow!

0:14:09 > 0:14:15- It's too deep.- Oh, come on. Just keep jumping!

0:14:15 > 0:14:19# Doo doo doo The Snowy Otter Conga

0:14:19 > 0:14:23# Doo doo doo Snowy Otter Conga night for sure. #

0:14:23 > 0:14:28- Oh, no. It's not Wednesday, is it? - Don't tell me it's Wednesday.

0:14:28 > 0:14:32- What time is it?- 4:45. - Don't say it's 4:45.

0:14:32 > 0:14:34It is! It's Wednesday, it's 4:45.

0:14:34 > 0:14:37She won't do it again, will she?

0:14:37 > 0:14:41- I don't think I could stand it. - She won't do it again.

0:14:41 > 0:14:45She is. She is, you know. Look. Here she comes now!

0:14:45 > 0:14:48- Oh, she's brought it with her. - Don't say she's brought it with her!

0:14:48 > 0:14:50She's going to start.

0:14:50 > 0:14:52Brace yourselves, everyone!

0:14:52 > 0:14:56SHE PLAYS THE RECORDER BADLY

0:14:56 > 0:14:59- Oh!- I can't bear it!

0:14:59 > 0:15:03- Please make it stop! - Pull yourself together, Mike.

0:15:03 > 0:15:06Are you a man or a mouse?

0:15:06 > 0:15:09Same time next week, fellas?

0:15:09 > 0:15:13That's it. I can't stand it any more. Argh!

0:15:13 > 0:15:14Laters.

0:15:14 > 0:15:18- Oi, Pingu!- What?

0:15:18 > 0:15:22- Oi, Pingu!- Are you talking to me? - Yeah.

0:15:22 > 0:15:26You want some? You want some, do you? You want some?

0:15:26 > 0:15:27Do YOU want some?

0:15:27 > 0:15:31- You want some, do you? You want some of this?- I want some.

0:15:31 > 0:15:35- Do you want some?- Yeah, you want some! You want some, do you?

0:15:35 > 0:15:38Do you wa-a-nt some?

0:15:38 > 0:15:40Yeah, I want some. Come on, then.

0:15:40 > 0:15:44Em, no, you're all right, Pingu, mate.

0:15:44 > 0:15:48That's what I thought. More manner, innit?

0:15:48 > 0:15:51Oh, no. It's that fish. He really sucks.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54VACUUM CLEANER

0:15:54 > 0:16:00- I mean, literally really sucks.- Hic!

0:16:00 > 0:16:05Last time, we brought you Penguins In The Jungle.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08Now it's time for this year's must-see movie.

0:16:08 > 0:16:12A movie like no other movie you've seen before...

0:16:12 > 0:16:14except Penguins In The Jungle.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17Take everything you know about monkeys and throw it out of the window...

0:16:17 > 0:16:19Along with the penguins.

0:16:19 > 0:16:23In this year's baboon-swinging blockbuster -

0:16:23 > 0:16:28Monkeys In The Marshes!

0:16:29 > 0:16:32Whose idea was this?

0:16:32 > 0:16:34Oh, I say!

0:16:34 > 0:16:38I mean, it is cold at first, but I think I'm getting used to it.

0:16:38 > 0:16:41On the other side, it will make my bum look less red.

0:16:41 > 0:16:44I'm going to take this flower for my bedroom.

0:16:45 > 0:16:49Monkeys In The Marshes.

0:16:49 > 0:16:53Oh, hasn't he got a lovely voice, that narrator.

0:16:55 > 0:17:00- So...- Yes?- Don't look now, but he's here.

0:17:00 > 0:17:04- Who is?- Rudolph the Raspberry.

0:17:04 > 0:17:07No, he can't be.

0:17:07 > 0:17:09Oh no, he's seen us.

0:17:09 > 0:17:12Let's get out of here. HE BLOWS RASPBERRIES

0:17:12 > 0:17:15Stop it! Stop that!

0:17:15 > 0:17:17Go on. Go away.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19HE BLOWS RASPBERRIES

0:17:19 > 0:17:23- Stop being so childish. - You're getting spit everywhere.

0:17:23 > 0:17:25HE BLOWS RASPBERRIES

0:17:29 > 0:17:31Welcome back. Now, before the next sketch,

0:17:31 > 0:17:34I really want to tell you about a new TV show that I've been working on.

0:17:34 > 0:17:38We're going to do dare the bravest zebras on Earth to take crazy risks.

0:17:38 > 0:17:41Contestants have to creep past hungry lions or outswing crocodiles

0:17:41 > 0:17:44without being eaten. It'll be amazing! All I need is a title.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46I'm thinking I might call it

0:17:46 > 0:17:50Crazy Courageous Zebras Do Really Scary Things In The Jungle

0:17:50 > 0:17:53While Trying Not To Be Eaten By Crocodiles Or Lions.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55THEY LAUGH

0:17:55 > 0:18:00Great title! Crazy Courageous Zebras Do what?!

0:18:00 > 0:18:03Really snappy, Zebbie!

0:18:03 > 0:18:06THEY LAUGH

0:18:06 > 0:18:09Urgh... Roll the next sketch.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11CLASSICAL MUSIC

0:18:12 > 0:18:14HE HUMS ALONG

0:18:18 > 0:18:21UPBEAT CLASSICAL MUSIC

0:18:21 > 0:18:23HE HUMS ALONG

0:18:25 > 0:18:27RELAXING CLASSICAL MUSIC

0:18:27 > 0:18:29HE HUMS ALONG

0:18:33 > 0:18:36HE YAWNS

0:18:37 > 0:18:40I hate classical music!

0:18:41 > 0:18:45Crabfessor Green. A rapper in a rock pool.

0:18:45 > 0:18:49I've remembered some lyrics. Here we go then.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51BACKING TRACK PLAYS

0:18:51 > 0:18:56# This track, it sounds emotional It's not, it's more promotional

0:18:56 > 0:18:59# I've got some things coming up I'd like to tell you about

0:18:59 > 0:19:01# But since we're at the BBC I'd better not or they'll shout

0:19:01 > 0:19:04# What I can say though is that this next track's got a guest

0:19:04 > 0:19:07# A furry fellow, you know he's the best of the best

0:19:07 > 0:19:09# Here's an example This is no sample

0:19:09 > 0:19:11# The ample skill on display is Piano Bunny today. #

0:19:11 > 0:19:14# Thank you, Green How very kind of you

0:19:14 > 0:19:17# I've also been practising my rapping too

0:19:17 > 0:19:22# Doo-be-do, doob-be-doobity-do And a hey-hey-hey da-rappity-boo

0:19:22 > 0:19:24# Thanks for that, but maybe stick to the keyboard

0:19:24 > 0:19:27# When I hear you play It's more of a reward

0:19:27 > 0:19:30# I hope that didn't offend you I said it meaning you well

0:19:30 > 0:19:33# But now it's time to move on to two bats that both smell... #

0:19:33 > 0:19:36- What?- Yeah, it's two smelly bats apparently.

0:19:36 > 0:19:39Oh, how nice!

0:19:39 > 0:19:43- Oh, Batrick?- Yes, Ronnie Corbat. - How are you doing with your stink?

0:19:43 > 0:19:47I think my smell is coming along quite well, really. How about yours?

0:19:47 > 0:19:50Not bad, not bad. Would you care to have a whiff?

0:19:50 > 0:19:54I thought you'd never ask. Coming over.

0:19:54 > 0:19:58- OK, go for it!- Prepare yourself. It really is quite a stench.

0:19:58 > 0:20:01Here we go. Are you getting that? HE SNIFFS

0:20:01 > 0:20:04Blimey. Yes, I am.

0:20:04 > 0:20:08- I believe it's starting to burn my retinas, good chap.- Pleasure.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11Pleasure. So good to have positive feedback

0:20:11 > 0:20:14from such a renowned and revolting stinklord as you.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17You flatter me, Ronnie, you really do.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20Right, I'm going to do this. I'm going to fly.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22I mean, it's ridiculous.

0:20:22 > 0:20:25A bird that's afraid of flying. OK. Off I go. Wish me luck.

0:20:25 > 0:20:29Oh! Here I go. Oh!

0:20:29 > 0:20:32Oh! I'm doing it. I'm flying. I'm flying.

0:20:32 > 0:20:36Just keep flapping and don't look down. Keep flapping. Don't look down.

0:20:36 > 0:20:39Oh! Ah! I'm not flapping and I'm looking down. Argh!

0:20:39 > 0:20:40CRASH!

0:20:45 > 0:20:49We are live at the synchronised swimming, where we're just waiting...

0:20:49 > 0:20:51Oh, here we go. CLASSICAL MUSIC

0:20:51 > 0:20:56That's a lovely back layout into the sailboat. Vertical into the flamingo.

0:20:56 > 0:20:59And to round off, can they complete the splint position?

0:20:59 > 0:21:04Yes! Yes! Oh, and the side fishtail finishes it off wonderfully.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06Will someone get those birds out of here?

0:21:06 > 0:21:09The judges confirm maximum scores for the team,

0:21:09 > 0:21:11and the celebrations begin! WHALE WHISTLES

0:21:11 > 0:21:14Toot-toot, indeed! Fantastic!

0:21:14 > 0:21:18# He's big and he's brave and he's not feeble

0:21:18 > 0:21:21# Andy...the Unflappable Eagle! #

0:21:21 > 0:21:24One thing I'm not afraid of is toast.

0:21:24 > 0:21:27No-one ever said Andy the Eagle's afraid of toast.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29No, sirree. Bread don't bother me none.

0:21:29 > 0:21:31- Do you want butter on this? - Aargh!

0:21:31 > 0:21:34Oh, sorry, Andy! I forgot you were afraid of toast!

0:21:34 > 0:21:38No, I'm just lactose intolerant, that's all, aw...

0:21:38 > 0:21:42# I'm on fire

0:21:42 > 0:21:50- # I'm on fire - # I won't pretend that I see it... #

0:21:50 > 0:21:52Excuse me. Excuse me.

0:21:52 > 0:21:53Sorry. Sorry.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55Thanks. Sorry. Pardon me.

0:21:55 > 0:21:58I just need to...sorry. Excuse me.

0:21:58 > 0:22:01Excuse me, please. Thank you very much.

0:22:01 > 0:22:03- PENGUINS GRUMBLE - I'm just trying to get...

0:22:03 > 0:22:06- Ow, my foot!- Thank you. Sorry. Sorry, mate.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09- Oi! Stop trying to push in! - I'm not! I'm just...

0:22:09 > 0:22:12I'm trying to rejoin my mates. They're all at the front, see?

0:22:12 > 0:22:15Yeah, they all say that. Especially when Kasabian are on.

0:22:15 > 0:22:18No, honestly, I only just left them. I only went to go to the loo.

0:22:18 > 0:22:20Yeah, sure you did, pal.

0:22:20 > 0:22:21And I'm Mumble out of Happy Feet (!)

0:22:21 > 0:22:24- What are their names, then, your mates?- Erm...

0:22:24 > 0:22:28That's...that's Alec, and that's Jim, and Andy,

0:22:28 > 0:22:31and Mike, Robbie, that's Alec...

0:22:31 > 0:22:34- You said Alec twice.- Did I?

0:22:34 > 0:22:37Well, yeah, that's because there's two Alecs, isn't there?

0:22:37 > 0:22:38Oh, no, no, no.

0:22:38 > 0:22:41Go on, get to the back!

0:22:41 > 0:22:43PENGUINS BOO AND JEER

0:22:45 > 0:22:47There's always someone!

0:22:49 > 0:22:52- Boo!- Come on, mate!

0:22:52 > 0:22:55I'm too short! I can't see from the back!

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Oh, well, I suppose I better get on.

0:22:57 > 0:23:01Still got lots to do, and she said she'd be back in an hour.

0:23:01 > 0:23:04Still, I don't see why I can't just have one more go while I'm here.

0:23:04 > 0:23:06I am ready.

0:23:06 > 0:23:11Woooo!

0:23:11 > 0:23:16Yeah! Ha-ha! No, no, no, no.

0:23:17 > 0:23:22OK, then. Off to the supermarket, which is this way.

0:23:22 > 0:23:25Oh, no, no, it's this way, isn't it? Silly me!

0:23:25 > 0:23:28No, no, it IS this way. It IS this way.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31Oh, no, no, it's this way.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34Or was it back over there?

0:23:34 > 0:23:39No, no, it's definitely over here...I think.

0:23:39 > 0:23:42Crocksy, you've got 24 hours to bust this case open,

0:23:42 > 0:23:44otherwise it's your badge and your skin!

0:23:44 > 0:23:47Don't worry, Captain Croaky, I won't let you down!

0:23:51 > 0:23:53Hey, less talking, more running!

0:23:53 > 0:23:56All right! There's no need to get snappy!

0:23:59 > 0:24:02I'm on it! I'm on it! I'm on it!

0:24:02 > 0:24:06Ooh! I can't swim! Captain Croaky!

0:24:06 > 0:24:08Oh, these shoes are ruined!

0:24:10 > 0:24:13- I'm definitely the bravest. - I think we both know I am.

0:24:13 > 0:24:15Nice try. I am.

0:24:15 > 0:24:17- No, I am.- I am.

0:24:17 > 0:24:19- I am.- I am.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21- I am.- I am, though.

0:24:21 > 0:24:23- I am.- Yeah, but am I? I am.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25- I am.- Yeah, but are you, though? I am.

0:24:25 > 0:24:26- I am.- I am, though.

0:24:26 > 0:24:27- I am.- I am.

0:24:27 > 0:24:30- I... Look, there's a spider there. - Aargh!

0:24:31 > 0:24:32Ooh, where?

0:24:32 > 0:24:35Hee-hee! See? Told you I was.

0:24:35 > 0:24:38I don't like heights neither.

0:24:38 > 0:24:41Wildside Bedtime Stories - The One Little Pig.

0:24:43 > 0:24:44Oh, look at this stuff!

0:24:44 > 0:24:47This is perfect house-building material.

0:24:47 > 0:24:51# My house, in the middle of the woods

0:24:51 > 0:24:56# My house, doo-dee-doo-dee-doo-dee-doo. #

0:24:56 > 0:24:59Oh, that is lovely! I am well pleased with that.

0:24:59 > 0:25:03Are you sure straw is the safest building material?

0:25:03 > 0:25:05What else would you build it out of, eh?! Eh?!

0:25:05 > 0:25:07Bricks? This wood, maybe?

0:25:07 > 0:25:09What about reinforced concrete with a steel mainframe?

0:25:09 > 0:25:12Nonsense! A wolf would have that down in minutes!

0:25:12 > 0:25:15Reinforced concrete? Kids, eh?

0:25:15 > 0:25:16The End.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21You know what, Ronnie?

0:25:21 > 0:25:24I believe you might have the edge over my kiffy pits.

0:25:24 > 0:25:27- You fancy a sniff?- Hit me with it.

0:25:27 > 0:25:30- HE SNIFFS - Ooh, my! Ooh, no!

0:25:30 > 0:25:33I mean, that is splendid.

0:25:33 > 0:25:37- Ooh, that really is too much! - Really? Oh, you are sweet!

0:25:37 > 0:25:41- Here, take some more.- Eurgh! Eurgh!

0:25:41 > 0:25:45Seriously, though, I think it really is...it's too much.

0:25:45 > 0:25:47Well, seriously, thank you.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49No, no, not good. Not good.

0:25:49 > 0:25:53I'm going to have to go to the back room and be quite sick.

0:25:53 > 0:25:55I've still got it!

0:25:55 > 0:25:57- HE SNIFFS - Hmm...

0:25:57 > 0:25:59HE GAGS

0:25:59 > 0:26:02Obviously, we're very colourful animals,

0:26:02 > 0:26:05so there must be something wrong with your telly.

0:26:05 > 0:26:08I wouldn't bother adjusting it, though.

0:26:08 > 0:26:11No, no, no, don't adjust the...

0:26:11 > 0:26:13No! No! No!

0:26:13 > 0:26:15Well, now you know.

0:26:15 > 0:26:17Now you know.

0:26:17 > 0:26:22# But today there is no day or night

0:26:22 > 0:26:26# Today there is no dark or light

0:26:26 > 0:26:32# Today there is no black or white

0:26:32 > 0:26:35# Only shades of grey. #

0:26:41 > 0:26:43Well, that's the end of the show,

0:26:43 > 0:26:44and I thought I'd leave you with a song,

0:26:44 > 0:26:47as some people have said I sound a bit like

0:26:47 > 0:26:51CBeebies' crime-fighting musical rodent, Rastamouse. No idea why.

0:26:51 > 0:26:55# Well, we've come to the end of the sho-ow

0:26:55 > 0:26:59# And I hope that you liked the guest ho-ost...that's me!

0:26:59 > 0:27:04# Please remember that my name is not Reggie, oh, no

0:27:04 > 0:27:09# Me just a reggae-loving zebra called Zebbie... #

0:27:09 > 0:27:11LAUGHTER

0:27:11 > 0:27:16Ha-ha! Zebbie! Zebbie! Ha-ha!

0:27:16 > 0:27:18All right, all right, laugh it up, lads!

0:27:18 > 0:27:20You might want to watch out for that lion while you're at it.

0:27:20 > 0:27:22THEY SCREAM

0:27:23 > 0:27:26- Ha-ha!- Bye, everyone!

0:27:43 > 0:27:47Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd