Drama-Rama

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0:00:03 > 0:00:04Feel this.

0:00:04 > 0:00:06Still warm - hot off the press.

0:00:06 > 0:00:08- Take a whiff.- Why would I want to take a whiff?

0:00:08 > 0:00:10It smells like...paper!

0:00:10 > 0:00:11And ink.

0:00:11 > 0:00:14You hold in your eager hands my latest play.

0:00:14 > 0:00:15The Sour Milkman.

0:00:15 > 0:00:19It's 1950, a heat wave grips the city.

0:00:19 > 0:00:23A struggling milkman and his wife try to cope with life, love and milk.

0:00:23 > 0:00:26Well, I hope it's not a milk dud. Ha!

0:00:26 > 0:00:27Milk comedy, hilarious(!)

0:00:27 > 0:00:30I'm holding auditions and you two should try out.

0:00:30 > 0:00:33You getting the lead in this could help your popularity

0:00:33 > 0:00:35and possibly get me my wings.

0:00:35 > 0:00:38I don't know, Jane's plays are usually G rated.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Hmm, Maybe this will tempt you.

0:00:40 > 0:00:42At the end the milkman and his wife share a hot kiss.

0:00:42 > 0:00:45- Yeah, but who'd play the wife? - Who do you think?

0:00:48 > 0:00:50You mean I'd get to kiss Britney?

0:00:50 > 0:00:52I like the way you think, Porter, count me in.

0:00:56 > 0:01:00# Let's give it one more shot

0:01:00 > 0:01:03# Let's give it everything we've got

0:01:03 > 0:01:06# Cos if we get it right

0:01:06 > 0:01:09# We will surely conquer the world

0:01:11 > 0:01:13# Hey! I've got my wings

0:01:13 > 0:01:14# From an angel

0:01:14 > 0:01:18# Now we're wingin' it all the time

0:01:18 > 0:01:21# I'm giving wings to an angel

0:01:21 > 0:01:24# Always an angel

0:01:24 > 0:01:28# Now we've got to learn to fly. #

0:01:32 > 0:01:34I just don't get it, Dr Cassabi.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37Your supervisor's coming to evaluate you and you don't care.

0:01:37 > 0:01:41Well, my supervisor happens to be my old angel college roommate Henry.

0:01:41 > 0:01:44Or as he was known back then, Shades!

0:01:44 > 0:01:48- Shades!- Back then I was known as The Steamboat.

0:01:48 > 0:01:50I can see why.

0:01:50 > 0:01:51Why's that?

0:01:51 > 0:01:53Er...

0:01:53 > 0:01:54Oh, all right, I know why!

0:01:54 > 0:01:56But believe it or not, I was slim back then.

0:01:56 > 0:01:58The name was ironic.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00- Ironic!- I just came by to let you know

0:02:00 > 0:02:03I've got a plan cooking to make Carl the star of Jane's play.

0:02:03 > 0:02:06That sounds fantastic, Porter, now you'd better go,

0:02:06 > 0:02:07this could get a little bawdy.

0:02:07 > 0:02:08Whatever you say, Dr!

0:02:08 > 0:02:10OK, Dennis.

0:02:10 > 0:02:14- Henry is going to be here at the count of three.- OK.

0:02:14 > 0:02:15One, and a two...

0:02:15 > 0:02:16And a one, two, three!

0:02:16 > 0:02:19# Lots of halos, lots of wings

0:02:19 > 0:02:23# Angel you has lots of things... #

0:02:27 > 0:02:28Shades.

0:02:28 > 0:02:30- You're not Shades! - No, I'm Mildred Stern,

0:02:30 > 0:02:34Henry has the angel flu. I'll be supervising your review.

0:02:34 > 0:02:37- Uh-oh.- Dennis, could you excuse us, please?

0:02:37 > 0:02:39Oh, so you want me to...beat it?

0:02:39 > 0:02:41DRUMROLL

0:02:41 > 0:02:42- Amusing.- Dennis!

0:02:42 > 0:02:44OK!

0:02:44 > 0:02:47- We haven't had the pleasure of meeting before.- Actually,

0:02:47 > 0:02:49I went to college with you, Steamboat.

0:02:49 > 0:02:52Though you might not remember me because back then

0:02:52 > 0:02:55you and your friends nicknamed me Mildew Stinks.

0:02:55 > 0:02:56LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

0:02:56 > 0:03:00Well you smell great now, Mildew.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03- Mildred. Ms Stinks... Stern! - Stop talking!

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Steamboat.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07I don't get why we're both auditioning.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09I can't compete against an angel.

0:03:09 > 0:03:10You can when it comes to acting.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13What about your impersonation of Alex?

0:03:13 > 0:03:14See if you can guess who this is.

0:03:14 > 0:03:17"Hey, does this look infected?"

0:03:17 > 0:03:18Good Porter impression.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21By the way, does this look infected?

0:03:21 > 0:03:25I'm only auditioning cos Jane asked me to. I'll never get the part.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28This uniform should help you get into character.

0:03:28 > 0:03:31- Think my chances just went up two percent.- Is that milk comedy?

0:03:31 > 0:03:34Yeah, percentages of milk - one percent, two...

0:03:34 > 0:03:35Porter, are you auditioning?

0:03:35 > 0:03:38- Yeah, so's Carl.- I didn't know there was an elf in the play.

0:03:40 > 0:03:41Good luck, Porter.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45- Save that for later. - Come here for a second.

0:03:45 > 0:03:48Never, ever grab a kiss out of the air.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50It's not cool - never has been and never will be.

0:03:50 > 0:03:54Perfect. If Porter gets cast as the milkman, then I'll get to kiss him.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56I can see our celebrity couple name now -

0:03:56 > 0:03:58Porter, Britney - Portney.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00Or how about Britter?

0:04:00 > 0:04:02BOTH: Ooh!

0:04:02 > 0:04:04Listen, Ethel, I figured out...

0:04:04 > 0:04:07Alex, could you lower the script so I can see your face?

0:04:09 > 0:04:11- Listen, Ethel, I figured out... - Alex,

0:04:11 > 0:04:15this is worse. Could you hold the script somewhere in between?

0:04:18 > 0:04:19Tell me when...

0:04:22 > 0:04:26I don't need to audition. My recent commercial work speaks for itself.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30Need furniture but got no money?

0:04:30 > 0:04:32Come on down to Garreth Swan's Furniture Shack

0:04:32 > 0:04:35where we accept whatev's your best offer.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38We have dining sets starting at

0:04:38 > 0:04:39whatev's your best offer!

0:04:39 > 0:04:43We also have Chesterfields starting at whatev's your best offer!

0:04:43 > 0:04:50It's Garreth Swan's Furniture Shack, so head on down!

0:04:50 > 0:04:52So, whenever you're ready.

0:04:52 > 0:04:57Listen, Ethel, I figured out why we named our galaxy the Milky Way.

0:04:57 > 0:05:00Our world, our society, our relationships,

0:05:00 > 0:05:02have been formed by this dairy product.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05Next time someone says, "You've got a milk moustache,"

0:05:05 > 0:05:09I'll say, "I know I do. Why don't you?"

0:05:09 > 0:05:10Thanks, Carl, that was great.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13If you want me to do it differently, I can.

0:05:13 > 0:05:15Faster, slower, sadder, Scottish...

0:05:15 > 0:05:18- BAD SCOTTISH ACCENT: - I know I do. Why don't you?

0:05:18 > 0:05:21I've got to motor on through these auditions.

0:05:21 > 0:05:24All right, should I start from, "Listen, Ethel"?

0:05:24 > 0:05:30- Actually, I think I've heard enough. Thanks, Porter.- Uh... OK, then.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34Sweet! I'm the fishmonger - I have a whole line!

0:05:34 > 0:05:36I'm the landlord!

0:05:36 > 0:05:38"If your rent is late, so help me, you will pay."

0:05:38 > 0:05:39But I live with my mom.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41Fishmonger lives with his mom?!

0:05:41 > 0:05:44You should have seen my audition, I'm a shoo-in for the milkman.

0:05:44 > 0:05:47That's weird, I'm the milkman.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50Oh, hey, Jane, uh...

0:05:50 > 0:05:52my name's not on the list.

0:05:52 > 0:05:55Ah, Carl, about that, um...

0:05:55 > 0:05:57First, let me just say you were the best actor I saw.

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Thank you...

0:05:59 > 0:06:02But I want people to come see The Sour Milkman, so...

0:06:02 > 0:06:05I need star power. I've got to give people what they want to see -

0:06:05 > 0:06:07Porter kissing Britney.

0:06:07 > 0:06:13Hi, Porter. OMG, Jane, I am SO excited to play Ethel.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16But do you think we could change her name to Sapphire?

0:06:16 > 0:06:19Don't answer right away - just think about it.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22Have you thought about it yet?

0:06:22 > 0:06:25That's fantastic, Porter(!) Now you get to kiss Britney.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28Hey, don't hate the player, hate the play.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30Sweet! I got the role of the fishmonger.

0:06:30 > 0:06:33But I got one question - what's a fishmonger?

0:06:37 > 0:06:40Carl, I'm really sorry I didn't cast you in my play,

0:06:40 > 0:06:43but I had to cast two lead actors that had, well, "It".

0:06:43 > 0:06:47I have It, I AM It. Whenever we used to play tag I'd always be It.

0:06:47 > 0:06:49I figured since you're one of my best friends,

0:06:49 > 0:06:51I could be honest with you. Hope that's OK.

0:06:51 > 0:06:54It's just I really wanted to be in The Sour Milkman.

0:06:54 > 0:06:57Could Carl be my understudy? I could use the help studying my lines.

0:06:57 > 0:06:59Done.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03All right, well, class starts in five minutes.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06- Chubby Bunny? - You know me too well, Porter.

0:07:08 > 0:07:10This is where the students eat.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13Now I'll show you where we teachers lounge.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Steer clear of the decaf...

0:07:15 > 0:07:18Dr Cassabi, a school tour has little relevance to your works.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20Of course, I was just...

0:07:20 > 0:07:24After Porter's "tornado" incident, you did give him a punishment?

0:07:24 > 0:07:27Uh... Please! I'm a professional...

0:07:27 > 0:07:30What was I supposed to be mad at you about again?

0:07:30 > 0:07:31Uh, it was, uh...

0:07:31 > 0:07:35- Ah, it doesn't matter. You got any 2s?- Go fish.

0:07:35 > 0:07:36My cover as guidance counsellor

0:07:36 > 0:07:39allows me to observe my angel-in-training

0:07:39 > 0:07:40- with unparalleled ease.- Really.

0:07:40 > 0:07:44Sounds like an excuse to meddle and do the AIT's work for him.

0:07:44 > 0:07:45No, no, I assure you Porter Jackson

0:07:45 > 0:07:48can handle his own daily complications just fine.

0:07:48 > 0:07:51As far as I'm concerned, they hand out wings too freely.

0:07:51 > 0:07:52I intend to put a stop to it.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54MUFFLED CRIES OF "CHUBBY BUNNY"

0:07:56 > 0:08:00Playing Chubby Bunny is hardly wing-worthy behaviour.

0:08:00 > 0:08:01I'll put a stop to this right now.

0:08:01 > 0:08:03Meddling, Dr Cassabi, hm?

0:08:03 > 0:08:06- No, just, uh... - Really?- ..a little callisthenics...

0:08:06 > 0:08:09- Cos you were walking. - Stretch the calves...- I saw you.

0:08:09 > 0:08:11- Why don't we look at the new science wing?- Fine.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13It's this way, I'll follow you.

0:08:14 > 0:08:17Now, people, this is going to be a lot of hard work,

0:08:17 > 0:08:19but in the end, it'll be worth it.

0:08:19 > 0:08:23Because we will have made art. So let's break a leg.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25At last, Oliver, you're free.

0:08:25 > 0:08:29- You're the milkman that I fell in love with.- Stop!

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Let's take it again from the top.

0:08:32 > 0:08:34But we didn't do the kiss. It says in the script...

0:08:34 > 0:08:38We've got bigger stuff to work on, Britney. Like that monologue.

0:08:38 > 0:08:39It's the heart of the play, Britney.

0:08:39 > 0:08:42And the kiss is the... lips of the play...?

0:08:42 > 0:08:44But if we don't practise the kiss

0:08:44 > 0:08:46it's not going to look real on stage.

0:08:46 > 0:08:47Yeah, but...

0:08:47 > 0:08:50you don't want to wear your lips out before opening night.

0:08:50 > 0:08:54Think of that? That's why I'm the director and you're the housewife.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56Which you're nailing, by the way. Once again!

0:08:56 > 0:08:58From the top.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02OK, Alex. Porter and Britney kiss,

0:09:02 > 0:09:04then you enter and say, "Fish for sale,"

0:09:04 > 0:09:06and then you exit again.

0:09:06 > 0:09:07Let's try it.

0:09:09 > 0:09:12And...action!

0:09:13 > 0:09:16Sale for fish! Fresh sale for fish!

0:09:16 > 0:09:17No, it's, "Fish for sale."

0:09:17 > 0:09:19Got it.

0:09:20 > 0:09:22For sale, fish!

0:09:22 > 0:09:26Not quite right. The line is, "Fish for sale". Let's try it again.

0:09:29 > 0:09:30'Fish for sale!'

0:09:30 > 0:09:31Come in, Alex.

0:09:31 > 0:09:35Sale for fish! Fresh sale for fish!

0:09:35 > 0:09:36For sale, fish!

0:09:36 > 0:09:39Sale...

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Fish sale for!

0:09:41 > 0:09:44"Fish sale for"? What does that even mean?

0:09:44 > 0:09:46I don't know, I didn't write this play.

0:09:48 > 0:09:50Oliver, there's a heat wave on.

0:09:50 > 0:09:54Nobody wants hot coffee and they certainly don't want cream.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56All you ever do is crowd me, Ethel, and, uh...

0:09:58 > 0:09:59What's my line?

0:09:59 > 0:10:02"All you ever do is shout at me, Ethel,

0:10:02 > 0:10:06"like a ringmaster at the crazy big top that is my mess of a life."

0:10:06 > 0:10:09I don't get it. Why don't you just use your angel magic

0:10:09 > 0:10:10and memorise the script?

0:10:10 > 0:10:13If I zapped the words into my head, I wouldn't know what they meant.

0:10:13 > 0:10:15Or what makes Oliver tick.

0:10:15 > 0:10:16What's to understand?

0:10:16 > 0:10:19The man is stuck delivering milk in a heat wave

0:10:19 > 0:10:21while his wife Ethel slowly loses it

0:10:21 > 0:10:23and nobody appreciates how he keeps the city together

0:10:23 > 0:10:25by delivering their dairy.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28Wow. You really nailed his character, Carl.

0:10:28 > 0:10:31Would you sweep the floor? I need it free of dust for opening night.

0:10:31 > 0:10:35Sure, I was planning on mopping up after tonight's rehearsal.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40I'm going to sweep and, you, learn your lines.

0:10:46 > 0:10:49Ms Stern, I guarantee what you're about to see

0:10:49 > 0:10:50is going to impress you.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53Look at those girls fawning over Porter.

0:10:53 > 0:10:55Fawning? I'd say more like doting.

0:10:55 > 0:10:57Porter is meant to be helping CARL

0:10:57 > 0:10:59become the most popular student in school.

0:10:59 > 0:11:02Oh, yes, you've impressed me, Dr Cassabi.

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Impressed me with your incompetence.

0:11:10 > 0:11:12Well, my mom and Becky are here.

0:11:12 > 0:11:15Hope Becky doesn't heckle Porter like she heckles me.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18Stop fussing, Jane!

0:11:18 > 0:11:19I look amazing.

0:11:19 > 0:11:22Great! Everyone's great.

0:11:22 > 0:11:23Now all we need is our leading man.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26Speaking of which... Carl, have you seen Porter?

0:11:28 > 0:11:29- What the...?- Porter!

0:11:29 > 0:11:33You're supposed to break a leg, not break a leg!

0:11:33 > 0:11:34What am I supposed to do now?

0:11:34 > 0:11:37Sorry, Jane, I guess there's only one thing you can do.

0:11:37 > 0:11:38Sub-in Carl.

0:11:39 > 0:11:41- What?!- All right, understudy, you're up.

0:11:41 > 0:11:42No, no, no, no, no.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44What happened to star power?

0:11:44 > 0:11:47I'm sorry, I should have picked you in the first place.

0:11:47 > 0:11:50You were the best audition. Come on, Carl, please?

0:11:50 > 0:11:53- All right.- Great.

0:11:53 > 0:11:55Into the milkman suit. You're Oliver now.

0:11:55 > 0:11:58Suddenly it just got really hot in here.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01Look at you getting into character already!

0:12:04 > 0:12:06Angels can't break their legs.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08You did that on purpose!

0:12:08 > 0:12:09All that nonsense about,

0:12:09 > 0:12:11"Ooh, I want to know how Oliver feels."

0:12:11 > 0:12:13You're the best actor.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15I can't act like I'm not suffering stage fright.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18Can't you use your magic to take it away?

0:12:18 > 0:12:21It's against angel rules. I can help you in a different way.

0:12:21 > 0:12:24- MAGICAL WHIRRING - Meet William Shakespeare.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26Oh, it's a pleasure, Mr Shakespeare.

0:12:26 > 0:12:31Ah! Porter, I knew it had to be or not to be you!

0:12:31 > 0:12:33That is the question. Isn't it?

0:12:33 > 0:12:36Carl's worried about being in a play. Can you give him a pep talk?

0:12:36 > 0:12:39You have to be like that fella in the play that I wrote.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42You know... What was it called? Erm...

0:12:42 > 0:12:45The...the one with the... IMITATES SWORD FIGHTING

0:12:45 > 0:12:48- Sword?!- Eg... MAN ROARS WHEN HIT BY IMAGINARY SWORD

0:12:48 > 0:12:50That's pretty much all of them. Othello?

0:12:50 > 0:12:52- No!- Hamlet?!

0:12:52 > 0:12:55Yes! Bingo, that's the one! When things are bad,

0:12:55 > 0:12:57you have to be... HE PANTS

0:12:57 > 0:12:58A gorilla!

0:12:58 > 0:13:01- No!- No, no, confident! I've to be confident.- Yes!

0:13:01 > 0:13:04- That's right!- How am I supposed to be confident if I suck?!

0:13:04 > 0:13:07Well, when you fall off the... HORSES GALLOP

0:13:07 > 0:13:11- You know...clip, clop. Clip, clop. - A horse!- Yes!

0:13:11 > 0:13:13You have to... HORSE NEIGHS

0:13:13 > 0:13:17- Get right back on?- Exactly!- Wow! You bring me William Shakespeare

0:13:17 > 0:13:19and we end up playing charades!

0:13:19 > 0:13:22I'm sorry, but I'm only good at the... SQUEAKING

0:13:22 > 0:13:24- Polishing.- No.

0:13:24 > 0:13:25- Washing?- No!- Writing!

0:13:25 > 0:13:31Yes! Writing! Well, glad that I could be of...

0:13:31 > 0:13:32HE SIGHS

0:13:32 > 0:13:35- Help?- Yes!- Thanks, Bill.

0:13:35 > 0:13:37- You're a big help. - MAGICAL WHIRRING

0:13:37 > 0:13:41Everyone get to their places. Two minutes to curtain!

0:13:41 > 0:13:43- CARL GASPS - Hey, break a leg!

0:13:43 > 0:13:45What is that? Angel comedy?

0:13:45 > 0:13:48You haven't changed since college. You're still the steamboat,

0:13:48 > 0:13:52- more concerned with being cool than working.- Cool? I've never been cool!

0:13:52 > 0:13:55There was one time when Henry Shades loaned me his shades and he... Hi.

0:13:55 > 0:13:59- ..I felt pretty cool.- And you're passing on your bad habits to Porter.

0:13:59 > 0:14:02Well Carl is about to star in this play, thanks to Porter!

0:14:02 > 0:14:03Too little too late!

0:14:03 > 0:14:06I'm going upstairs to file a report recommending

0:14:06 > 0:14:07that you be replaced!

0:14:07 > 0:14:10You've been out to get me before this review even started!

0:14:10 > 0:14:12I'm sorry I called you names in college.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14But you are attending this play,

0:14:14 > 0:14:16and seeing the good work of my angel in training,

0:14:16 > 0:14:18even if I have to carry you in there myself!

0:14:18 > 0:14:21And I will! I'm the steamboat!

0:14:25 > 0:14:29- You guys excited about the play? - What happened to your leg? You OK?

0:14:29 > 0:14:32Actually, nothing's wrong with it. I got a little stage fright,

0:14:32 > 0:14:36- and I needed an excuse.- Oh, I'm sure you would have been great.

0:14:36 > 0:14:39At least now, you get to see Carl up there playing the milkman.

0:14:39 > 0:14:41I have to watch Carl?! Can't I just wait in the car?

0:14:41 > 0:14:44No, you have to stay and support your brother.

0:14:44 > 0:14:47Too bad I left my tomatoes at home.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50Jane, I just heard Porter dropped out of the play.

0:14:50 > 0:14:53- Then I heard even worse news.- What?! - I'm dropping out too.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55What?! Why?! Porter had to drop out!

0:14:55 > 0:15:00- He broke his leg!- Erm...yeah! And I broke a nail! I simply can't go on!

0:15:00 > 0:15:03- You're just dropping out because you can't kiss porter!- Urgh!

0:15:03 > 0:15:05- I can't believe you'd say that! - Is it true?!

0:15:05 > 0:15:08- Yes! But I can't believe you'd say that!- Quit the play! See if I care!

0:15:08 > 0:15:11- Urgh, what evs!- OK, I DO care!

0:15:11 > 0:15:14Britney's not in the play anymore?!

0:15:14 > 0:15:17Oh, man, I don't get to kiss her!

0:15:17 > 0:15:21- And there's the rest of the play too.- Mmm.- It's a shame.

0:15:21 > 0:15:24- It's probably the bigger shame, biggest shame!- Only one thing to do.

0:15:24 > 0:15:28- Beg Britney to come back? Offer her money?- No! I'll do it myself.

0:15:28 > 0:15:30I wrote it. I know every line!

0:15:30 > 0:15:34- Anything to keep my play from being ruined.- But we're best friends!

0:15:34 > 0:15:38- So?- In a big scene at the end, we have to kiss! Isn't that weird?

0:15:38 > 0:15:40It's not a big deal to me. Is it to you?

0:15:40 > 0:15:44- No! It's a play. Nothing weird about that.- Plays aren't real.

0:15:44 > 0:15:46- Exactly, it's fine. Nothing weird. - Exactly.

0:15:46 > 0:15:49I'll go put on my costume. And get some breath mints.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54- OK. Situation is under control. - HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:16:06 > 0:16:09Feels like this heatwave's never going to end.

0:16:09 > 0:16:13- And the milk won't stop either.- Well the fan's broken again, Oliver!

0:16:13 > 0:16:15It seems like it's always broken, Oliver!

0:16:15 > 0:16:17Now you listen to me, Ethel.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19I'm going to start selling more milk

0:16:19 > 0:16:22and I will buy you a new fan!

0:16:22 > 0:16:25Always the dreamer.

0:16:25 > 0:16:28Hey! You're two months late on your rent!

0:16:28 > 0:16:31- Would you like some...- Milk! Don't offer me milk again!

0:16:31 > 0:16:34I want moolah! You got two days and then you're out of here!

0:16:34 > 0:16:36Hey, coach.

0:16:36 > 0:16:38LAUGHTER

0:16:40 > 0:16:43That Bandalucci! Livin' it up on the west side! He's forgotten

0:16:43 > 0:16:46what it's like to be a working man trying to scrape by.

0:16:46 > 0:16:48But Oliver, the heatwave is on!

0:16:48 > 0:16:51Nobody wants hot coffee and they certainly don't want cream!

0:16:51 > 0:16:54Stop crowding me, Ethel!

0:16:54 > 0:16:56All you ever do is shout at me

0:16:56 > 0:16:59like a ringmaster in the crazy big top that is my mess of a life!

0:16:59 > 0:17:03You've got to know something. I am no clown!

0:17:05 > 0:17:06APPLAUSE

0:17:09 > 0:17:11# Oh, have a snack

0:17:11 > 0:17:12# Drinks are cool

0:17:12 > 0:17:14# All the money goes to the school

0:17:14 > 0:17:16# It's good time to have a stretch

0:17:16 > 0:17:18# Go to the back and you can

0:17:18 > 0:17:20# Get yourself a T-shirt... #

0:17:22 > 0:17:24Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves.

0:17:24 > 0:17:27- Let's hope they like the second half as much as the first.- Yeah, yeah.

0:17:27 > 0:17:30Awesome. So, look, about the kiss. How long do we do this for?

0:17:30 > 0:17:33- One Mississippi, two Mississippis? - We just kiss

0:17:33 > 0:17:36- until Alex says his line. Focus on your monologue.- Yeah, I got it.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39Focus on the kiss. On the monologue! God, monologue!

0:17:39 > 0:17:41Hey, Victor! You missed two light cues!

0:17:43 > 0:17:48OK. Focus, Carl, focus. On the kiss. No! Don't! Snap out of it!

0:17:51 > 0:17:52I won't let this heatwave beat me.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55My deliveries are down and I've got a truck load of curdled milk.

0:17:55 > 0:17:59And it's gone sour. Just like me. Just like us!

0:17:59 > 0:18:03- SHE SOBS - You know what I'm going to do with that curdled milk?

0:18:03 > 0:18:06I'm going to make cheese. I'll make mozzarella and cheddar

0:18:06 > 0:18:08and Gouda and Swiss.

0:18:08 > 0:18:11- I'll even make Camembert.- What about havarti?- I'll even make havarti,

0:18:11 > 0:18:13for anyone who'll have it!

0:18:13 > 0:18:17Oh, Oliver! You're free! You're the milkman I fell in love with!

0:18:17 > 0:18:18And I'm not sour anymore.

0:18:22 > 0:18:23- Yeah! - HE LAUGHS

0:18:26 > 0:18:28Wow.

0:18:29 > 0:18:31FISH!

0:18:32 > 0:18:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Way to go, guys!

0:18:45 > 0:18:49- See, Carl. The kiss was fine.- Yeah, yeah, it was totally fine.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51It was like kissing, kissing, kissing, pizza!

0:18:51 > 0:18:54DRUMROLL Oh, the curtain calls!

0:18:54 > 0:18:57RAPTUROUS CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:18:57 > 0:19:00Wooh! Yeah! Good job, Carl!

0:19:05 > 0:19:09- Who knew your brother was such a good actor?- I never thought I'd say this,

0:19:09 > 0:19:11but good on you, Carl, good on you.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14So, what did you think of Carl's performance in the play?

0:19:14 > 0:19:17Judging by that, Porter Jackson IS helping Carl along,

0:19:17 > 0:19:19and appears to be on track with earning his wings.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21I'll file a report commending both of you.

0:19:22 > 0:19:26Back in college, I had my own nickname for you. It was Cassteamy.

0:19:26 > 0:19:28Because I thought you were hot!

0:19:28 > 0:19:32- Really?!- No! - SHE LAUGHS

0:19:32 > 0:19:36Oh, I am good! No, you'll always be a steamboat to me!

0:19:38 > 0:19:41Congratulations, Jane, your play was a huge hit!

0:19:41 > 0:19:43Couldn't have done it without you. Thanks, Carl.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57- HE LAUGHS - Wasn't that on the other foot?

0:19:57 > 0:20:01Yeah. I switched it and nobody noticed. Great performance.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04- Very convincing and the right amount of cheese.- Yeah. Cheese. Good one.

0:20:04 > 0:20:07What's wrong? You were great and you're acting weird.

0:20:07 > 0:20:10- Was it because you didn't get to kiss Britney?- No, no.

0:20:10 > 0:20:14I'm just trying to shake the character, get back to being Carl.

0:20:14 > 0:20:18- Ah, it was your kiss with Jane, wasn't it?- No, no!

0:20:18 > 0:20:20That's not it at all. No.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22- HE SIGHS - How could you tell?

0:20:22 > 0:20:24You don't have to be an angel to tell, bro.

0:20:24 > 0:20:28Come on, Hopalong! Let's go celebrate.

0:20:28 > 0:20:33Hey, Carl, there was a talent agent in the audience,

0:20:33 > 0:20:36and I'm going to Hollywood.

0:20:36 > 0:20:39- No, you aren't.- Oh, don't be sour, milkman.

0:20:39 > 0:20:42All right, come on, Alex, let's go join the cast party. Get it?

0:20:42 > 0:20:44- Cast party. Hmm!- No.

0:20:44 > 0:20:47But sure. I do love to party.

0:20:54 > 0:20:56Exactly.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58HE LAUGHS That's my line!

0:20:58 > 0:21:02Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well, Horatio.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04He went on a low carb diet and lost a lot of weight.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10THEY LAUGH

0:21:11 > 0:21:14Subtitled by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:21:14 > 0:21:17Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk