Best Before Date

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04Hey, Porter.

0:00:04 > 0:00:07Check this out.

0:00:07 > 0:00:09Hey! Mr Jenkins won the Golden Plunger award!

0:00:09 > 0:00:10He is a very thorough janitor.

0:00:10 > 0:00:13No, not that! I mean this.

0:00:13 > 0:00:15The Newshound's just released its list

0:00:15 > 0:00:17of coolest guys at Bennett High.

0:00:17 > 0:00:19Every year, I organise a date auction.

0:00:19 > 0:00:21All the girls get to bid on the guys from the Cool Guys list

0:00:21 > 0:00:24and each couple gets two tickets to a concert.

0:00:24 > 0:00:27This year, it's Fefe Dobson! All the money goes to charity.

0:00:27 > 0:00:31Oh, Charity. Why does this Charity girl need so much money anyway?

0:00:31 > 0:00:33Why can no-one ever explain this to me?

0:00:33 > 0:00:36Actually, we've explained it to you many times.

0:00:36 > 0:00:39Every time we do...she does that.

0:00:39 > 0:00:40Hey, I'm number one!

0:00:40 > 0:00:43And I'm number... Hey, look! I'm number 11!

0:00:43 > 0:00:46Ha! That's right. I'm in the top 11 list. What's up?

0:00:46 > 0:00:47I've never heard of a top 11 list.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49Technically I'm in the top 10 list

0:00:49 > 0:00:51as you're an angel and don't count,

0:00:51 > 0:00:52which means I'm a top 10 human.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54Whatever gets you through the day.

0:00:54 > 0:00:57Congratulations, Carl! This year, you're in top 20.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Top 11, actually. It's just an honour to be nominated.

0:00:59 > 0:01:03- It's a huge relief.- Jane, who are you going to bid on? Carl, maybe?

0:01:03 > 0:01:06I'm going to bid on everyone, and drive up the prices.

0:01:06 > 0:01:08It is a charity after all. See you guys at the auction!

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Yes! Jane's going to bid on me.

0:01:10 > 0:01:12She's going to bid on everyone.

0:01:12 > 0:01:13Everyone includes me!

0:01:13 > 0:01:16I admire your positive attitude. And your delusional thinking.

0:01:16 > 0:01:19That's why I'm Cool guy number 11. That, and my swing!

0:01:22 > 0:01:24That's exactly why you're number 11.

0:01:29 > 0:01:32# Let's give it one more shot

0:01:32 > 0:01:36# Let's give it everything we've got

0:01:36 > 0:01:38# Cos if we get it right

0:01:38 > 0:01:42# We will surely conquer the world

0:01:43 > 0:01:45# Hey! I've got my wings

0:01:45 > 0:01:47# From an angel

0:01:47 > 0:01:50# Now we're wingin' it all the time

0:01:50 > 0:01:53# I'm giving wings to an angel

0:01:53 > 0:01:57# Always an angel

0:01:57 > 0:02:00# Now we've got to learn to fly. #

0:02:06 > 0:02:09Next up, we have Serge Delvecchio!

0:02:10 > 0:02:13- 20!- 20...- 25!- 25.

0:02:13 > 0:02:16- 30!- 30. - Too rich for my blood. I'm out.

0:02:16 > 0:02:18Going once, going twice... Sold!

0:02:18 > 0:02:21Serge Delvecchio to Denise Simmonds for 30.

0:02:21 > 0:02:24- Sweet!- Even though my date's IQ is lower than what I paid for him,

0:02:24 > 0:02:26who cares? I'm going to a concert!

0:02:26 > 0:02:30Next up, we have Alex P Horatio Rodriguez!

0:02:30 > 0:02:32APPLAUSE

0:02:32 > 0:02:35I thought of a plan that makes sure Jane bids for you for the concert.

0:02:35 > 0:02:39What's it going to be? Time travel? Cupid magic? Love sense?

0:02:40 > 0:02:43Those cue cards Dr Cassabi's holding,

0:02:43 > 0:02:44I just magicked you dead last.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47Wow, dead last(!) Just like gym class.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50Jane's bidding a little on everyone to bring the prices up,

0:02:50 > 0:02:53but she doesn't want to win anyone until everyone's picked.

0:02:53 > 0:02:56So she'll have to win me to go to the concert. That's genius!

0:02:56 > 0:03:01Sold to the Lesterne sisters for 43.17!

0:03:01 > 0:03:04Next up, Porter Jackson!

0:03:07 > 0:03:09Nobody even bother. This one is mine!

0:03:09 > 0:03:1120!

0:03:11 > 0:03:13You're throwing your money away.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15Porter would have to pay me to go out with him!

0:03:15 > 0:03:19Girls, this is a charity auction! Let's be as generous as we can.

0:03:19 > 0:03:20I bid 80!

0:03:20 > 0:03:22That is my man. 90!

0:03:22 > 0:03:24100!

0:03:24 > 0:03:26Whoo! Things are heating up.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29140. Jane, what are you doing?

0:03:29 > 0:03:31Brittany, you are so adorable!

0:03:31 > 0:03:33141!

0:03:33 > 0:03:37150! I can outbid you all day.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40I know, that's the idea. 160!

0:03:40 > 0:03:43Oh, Jane, so naive, driving up the bids.

0:03:43 > 0:03:44This year, I'm going to trick her

0:03:44 > 0:03:47into using up all of her money on one date.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49That way, I can get a leftover boy for cheap,

0:03:49 > 0:03:51and then I'm off to the concert with Joe Nobody

0:03:51 > 0:03:53to audition for Fefe Dobson.

0:03:53 > 0:03:55180!

0:03:55 > 0:03:57200!

0:03:57 > 0:04:02- 200 going once...- Brittany, I said 200! You can outbid me now!

0:04:02 > 0:04:04200 going twice...

0:04:04 > 0:04:08Sold to Jane Casey, for 200 smackeroo!

0:04:10 > 0:04:12I wasn't supposed to win Porter!

0:04:12 > 0:04:13You wasn't supposed to win Porter?!

0:04:13 > 0:04:17And last, but certainly not least, Carl Montclaire.

0:04:17 > 0:04:21He's just returned from the dentist, so his teeth are super clean.

0:04:21 > 0:04:23Can we beat 200?

0:04:23 > 0:04:25Anybody? 200?

0:04:25 > 0:04:30All right, 190? That's as low as we're going.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32180?

0:04:33 > 0:04:35- 10.- 10!

0:04:38 > 0:04:40OK! Going once...

0:04:40 > 0:04:42Going twice...sold!

0:04:42 > 0:04:46For 10 clams. Have a good time at the concert, everyone!

0:04:46 > 0:04:48CHEERING

0:04:52 > 0:04:56So, what do you think? All the way cuffed? Three-quarter cuffed?

0:04:56 > 0:04:58Rolled all the way down? Buttoned? Unbuttoned?

0:04:58 > 0:05:02I can't even have this conversation until you iron that shirt.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04- What? It's supposed to look wrinkled.- It's doing its job!

0:05:04 > 0:05:07So, thanks to Jane's bidding at the auction,

0:05:07 > 0:05:08you're going with the girl I like

0:05:08 > 0:05:10and I'm going with the girl that barely likes me.

0:05:10 > 0:05:14I've got a new plan! Show her a good time and Jane will be jealous.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17Nothing makes a girl jealous like a guy carrying another girl's purse.

0:05:17 > 0:05:18Trust me. Go get ready for the concert.

0:05:18 > 0:05:21- I'm already ready.- You sure?

0:05:21 > 0:05:23Fine, I'll change my shirt.

0:05:23 > 0:05:26Everyone has their own ritual to prepare for the concert.

0:05:26 > 0:05:29I research Fefe Dobson's entire discography.

0:05:29 > 0:05:33Now I know the lyrics to every one of her songs, forwards AND backwards.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36"Everything my be to ready you're if but."

0:05:36 > 0:05:38I'm practising my vocal octaves.

0:05:39 > 0:05:43- LOW VOICE:- # Run way down low

0:05:43 > 0:05:47- HIGH VOICE:- # To way up high! #

0:05:47 > 0:05:49I'm practising my dance moves for the concert.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57Wait. Those are my basketball moves!

0:05:59 > 0:06:02That's the guy I'm going with?! Ay-ay-ay!

0:06:02 > 0:06:05I get ready for a concert by testing my earplugs!

0:06:09 > 0:06:13IMPERSONATING TARZAN: Ahhhhh-ah-ahhh-ah-ahhhhh!

0:06:15 > 0:06:17It worked great!

0:06:22 > 0:06:26I wasn't sure what drinks you guys wanted, because you never told me.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29So I put a bit of every flavour in each cup.

0:06:29 > 0:06:32Hey, Serge! Where's my drink?

0:06:32 > 0:06:36Over there on the counter. There's all kinds up there! Go help yourself.

0:06:36 > 0:06:38Get me one, too. Actually, get me three.

0:06:45 > 0:06:46Oh! Is that her?

0:06:46 > 0:06:47I think it's her.

0:06:47 > 0:06:50- I'm not sure if it is her. - I can't tell.

0:06:52 > 0:06:53It's me.

0:06:53 > 0:06:57Oh, hi, er, Miss Fefe, Miss Dobson.

0:06:57 > 0:06:59Fefe, I can hardly wait for your show to start.

0:06:59 > 0:07:02Unfortunately, my opening act is stuck at the border,

0:07:02 > 0:07:04so it's going to be a while.

0:07:04 > 0:07:06Anyways, later!

0:07:08 > 0:07:10So they don't have an opening act?

0:07:10 > 0:07:12Denise, don't even think...

0:07:15 > 0:07:19All right! Let's get this party started!

0:07:19 > 0:07:22# Woke up on the wrong side of the bed

0:07:22 > 0:07:26# Not a darn thing's going right today

0:07:26 > 0:07:29# Bad luck is the only luck I get

0:07:29 > 0:07:32# Yeah, that guy Murphy was right... #

0:07:32 > 0:07:34- Who is that?- That's your date!

0:07:34 > 0:07:37Oh, that's my date.

0:07:37 > 0:07:38Oh, that's my date!

0:07:38 > 0:07:40I'm on a date too!

0:07:40 > 0:07:42Ooh...

0:07:42 > 0:07:45- What's Denise doing up there? - What am I, your guardian angel?

0:07:45 > 0:07:48# ..But I'm still on my feet

0:07:48 > 0:07:52# So hit me with your best shot Oh-oh

0:07:52 > 0:07:56# I can take what you've got Oh-oh... #

0:07:56 > 0:07:58See, Carl? If Denise can get up there, why can't I?

0:07:58 > 0:08:01She's almost good enough to open for me!

0:08:01 > 0:08:04# Is that all you've got? I can't be stopped

0:08:04 > 0:08:07# Oh no Oh, oh, oh-oh

0:08:07 > 0:08:11# Hit me with your best shot Oh, oh, oh

0:08:13 > 0:08:14# Ha! Do they all feel like a dummy

0:08:14 > 0:08:17# Walking down here like I'm so clumsy... #

0:08:17 > 0:08:19Brittany! Do you want to dance?

0:08:19 > 0:08:21I don't think so.

0:08:21 > 0:08:23All right.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25# Even when they hit me in the stomach

0:08:25 > 0:08:26# Knock me down but it's not a KO

0:08:26 > 0:08:28# Cos I can back up like I'm Rambo

0:08:28 > 0:08:33# So hit me with your best shot Oh-oh

0:08:33 > 0:08:38# I can take what you've got Oh-oh

0:08:38 > 0:08:41# Hit me with your best shot Oh-oh

0:08:41 > 0:08:46# Is that all you've got? I can't be stopped, oh no

0:08:46 > 0:08:49# Oh, oh, oh-oh Hit me with your best shot

0:08:49 > 0:08:54# Oh, oh, oh-oh Hit me with your best shot! #

0:08:54 > 0:08:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:08:57 > 0:09:01And coming up next, Fefe Dobson! Goodnight!

0:09:02 > 0:09:04- FEFE:- Hey! Thanks for filling in!

0:09:04 > 0:09:06- DENISE:- No worries! They're all warmed up for you.

0:09:06 > 0:09:09Come on, Carl. We have to get closer before Fefe starts.

0:09:09 > 0:09:13- We're already at the front. - Denise got her chance. Where's mine?

0:09:13 > 0:09:15Hey, Jane!

0:09:15 > 0:09:16Jane's looking at me.

0:09:16 > 0:09:18Ha-ha! That was a good one, Brittany!

0:09:18 > 0:09:21HE YAWNS

0:09:21 > 0:09:23Don't yawn with your arm, Carl.

0:09:23 > 0:09:24Right, right, sorry.

0:09:24 > 0:09:28You know what, Brittany, in this lighting, you look like a princess.

0:09:28 > 0:09:31A princess? How old am I? Three?

0:09:31 > 0:09:33Sorry, like a duchess, maybe?

0:09:33 > 0:09:36I want to look like a rock star!

0:09:38 > 0:09:40Thanks for coming out.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53# There's a whole lotta things that I will forgive

0:09:53 > 0:09:55# But I just can't take a liar

0:09:55 > 0:09:58# I was by your side till the very end

0:09:58 > 0:10:00# Till you pushed me in the fire... #

0:10:02 > 0:10:04Jane doesn't seem very jealous, Porter.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06Brittany's not even paying attention to me.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09- She's just here for a big break. - True. I've got an idea.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12This should improve things!

0:10:12 > 0:10:14Backstage passes! Thanks, that's awesome!

0:10:14 > 0:10:15Hey, Brittany!

0:10:15 > 0:10:18How would you like to accompany me backstage?

0:10:18 > 0:10:21You've got backstage passes? You're the best!

0:10:21 > 0:10:24- What?- Er, I didn't say anything!

0:10:25 > 0:10:29Well, we'll be B-stage! Means backstage.

0:10:29 > 0:10:33# You sound guilty cos you're stuttering

0:10:33 > 0:10:35# Oh oh oh oh oh Ey ey ey ey ey... #

0:10:35 > 0:10:39- Where did Carl get those backstage passes?- Oh, he knows people.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42Wow. If it wasn't for Brittany, Carl would be taking ME backstage.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45Sounds like somebody's keeping an eye on Carl.

0:10:45 > 0:10:49It would just be really cool to interview Fefe for the Newshound.

0:10:49 > 0:10:50# You can tell me this, you can tell me that

0:10:50 > 0:10:53# But don't say you don't remember

0:10:53 > 0:10:58# Cos I know you better than you know yourself

0:10:58 > 0:11:03# So don't say I'm crazy, I know very well

0:11:03 > 0:11:05# It's you and me against the world

0:11:05 > 0:11:08# That's what you said, that's what you said

0:11:08 > 0:11:14# If you can't be honest with me, then I'm afraid this is the end

0:11:14 > 0:11:16# Hurry up, hurry up

0:11:16 > 0:11:19# If you ever really cared about me

0:11:19 > 0:11:21# Tell the truth, give it up

0:11:21 > 0:11:24# You sound guilty cos you're stuttering

0:11:24 > 0:11:27# Oh-oh-oh, ey-ey

0:11:27 > 0:11:30- # Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-whoa - # Yeah, you're stuttering... #

0:11:30 > 0:11:33Once Fefe Dobson hears my voice, she is going to be speechless!

0:11:33 > 0:11:36- I can't argue with that, but... - Oh, it's fate, it's destiny, it's...

0:11:36 > 0:11:38Never being able to finish a sentence.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40Stop saying words, Carl! I'm talking.

0:11:40 > 0:11:43Anyway - as soon as I sing with her,

0:11:43 > 0:11:46she's going to hear my voice and ask me to go on tour with her.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49It's gonna be a fa-a-a-a-a-me explosion!

0:11:49 > 0:11:52Trust me, explosions can be dangerous, harmful to others -

0:11:52 > 0:11:54maybe you should just hold off.

0:11:54 > 0:11:58Please! If you want fame, you cannot just stand around and wait for it.

0:11:58 > 0:12:02Now, take my picture while I stand around and wait for it.

0:12:02 > 0:12:05# You sound guilty cos you're stuttering

0:12:05 > 0:12:07# Oh-oh-oh, ey-ey

0:12:07 > 0:12:10- # Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-whoa - # Yeah, you're stuttering

0:12:10 > 0:12:13# Oh-oh-oh, ey-ey

0:12:13 > 0:12:15- # Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-whoa - # Yeah, you're stuttering

0:12:15 > 0:12:18# Oh-oh-oh, ey-ey

0:12:18 > 0:12:20- # Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-whoa - # Yeah, you're stuttering

0:12:20 > 0:12:23# Oh-oh-oh, ey-ey

0:12:23 > 0:12:27- # Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-whoa - # Yeah, you're stuttering! #

0:12:27 > 0:12:29CHEERING

0:12:29 > 0:12:30Thank you so much!

0:12:30 > 0:12:34These are great, Carl. You can print them out and make posters.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37- How about we get one with the both of us?- Ooh. Uh...

0:12:37 > 0:12:39my memory card is full...ish.

0:12:40 > 0:12:42There she is! There she is!

0:12:44 > 0:12:46I see her! I see her!

0:12:46 > 0:12:50Next time you talk to me... I am going to be a superstar.

0:12:50 > 0:12:52You can say, "I knew her when..."

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Hey... Fefe!

0:12:55 > 0:12:56Oh, hey.

0:12:56 > 0:13:00- You TOTALLY rocked out there. - Oh... Thanks.

0:13:00 > 0:13:02But...there was one thing missing.

0:13:02 > 0:13:04- Er...and what was that?- Me!

0:13:05 > 0:13:07I'm - wait for it...

0:13:07 > 0:13:09Brittany!

0:13:09 > 0:13:11So? What can I do for you, Brittany?

0:13:11 > 0:13:14It's not what YOU can do for me...

0:13:14 > 0:13:16- it's what- I- can do for me.

0:13:17 > 0:13:19OK...

0:13:19 > 0:13:21Are you ready?

0:13:21 > 0:13:23OPENING PIANO FLOURISH

0:13:23 > 0:13:27HOPELESSLY OUT OF TUNE: # Eyes of ru-u-u-u-ubies

0:13:27 > 0:13:31# Lips of gold

0:13:31 > 0:13:34# A nose of diamo-o-o-onds

0:13:36 > 0:13:39# Or so I'm to-o-o-o-old

0:13:39 > 0:13:41# I am...

0:13:42 > 0:13:45# Bri-i-i-ittany-y-y-y-y

0:13:45 > 0:13:47# I am

0:13:47 > 0:13:52# Bri-i-i-ittany-y-y-y-y! #

0:13:53 > 0:13:55Wow. That was er...

0:13:55 > 0:13:57That was er...

0:13:58 > 0:14:02Well...you're pretty. You got that.

0:14:02 > 0:14:04SNIGGERING

0:14:07 > 0:14:10I'm...sure they were laughing WITH you.

0:14:19 > 0:14:22Brittany looks upset. Should I go in there?

0:14:22 > 0:14:24We'll never get by the bouncers. And besides -

0:14:24 > 0:14:28Carl's good with taking care of people, being a gentleman...

0:14:28 > 0:14:30He'd make a great boyfriend.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33I mean, look at him - he's so smooth!

0:14:33 > 0:14:35Ooooh! Aaaah!

0:14:35 > 0:14:38Man, he's such a great listener...

0:14:38 > 0:14:40CRASH!

0:14:40 > 0:14:42OK, I get that Carl's your best friend,

0:14:42 > 0:14:44but you haven't stopped talking about him all night.

0:14:44 > 0:14:48- What's going on?- Nothing. - Tell me.- No.- Tell me!

0:14:48 > 0:14:50Fine... Carl wanted you to buy him in the date auction.

0:14:50 > 0:14:53He wanted to impress you. What do you think is going on?

0:14:53 > 0:14:55No...

0:14:56 > 0:14:59What - do you want an encore so you can just laugh at me some more?!

0:14:59 > 0:15:01I wasn't laughing at you, Brittany.

0:15:01 > 0:15:05I may be Bennett High's most beautiful, most popular girl...

0:15:05 > 0:15:09I might have the best hair and the best shoes and the best teeth...

0:15:09 > 0:15:11See? With looks like that you shouldn't be crying!

0:15:11 > 0:15:14..but I have NEVER been so embarrassed in my life.

0:15:14 > 0:15:17The acoustics out there made me sound foolish -

0:15:17 > 0:15:20in front of a FAMOUS PERSON!

0:15:20 > 0:15:21It was the acoustics! Right.

0:15:21 > 0:15:24Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?

0:15:25 > 0:15:27Do you have any diamonds?

0:15:27 > 0:15:31- No.- AAAAAAAGH!

0:15:32 > 0:15:36Er...but you do! # Eyes of ruby, these lips of gold

0:15:36 > 0:15:38# A nose of diamonds, or so I'm told

0:15:38 > 0:15:42- SHE YELLS ANGRILY - # You... You are Brittany...

0:15:42 > 0:15:44# You are Brittany, I'll sing it again

0:15:44 > 0:15:46# Brittany...

0:15:46 > 0:15:49- NASALLY:- # You...are...Brittany! #

0:15:50 > 0:15:52You butchered my song.

0:15:53 > 0:15:57I was cute - yes, you're right.

0:15:57 > 0:15:59- I AM Brittany.- You totally are -

0:15:59 > 0:16:02and if Fefe doesn't appreciate that, that's her fault.

0:16:02 > 0:16:04Carl likes you more than friends.

0:16:04 > 0:16:08- Of course he does, we're best friends.- BETTER than best friends.

0:16:08 > 0:16:10But that would make us... Oh.

0:16:10 > 0:16:12I gotta go talk to Carl.

0:16:12 > 0:16:14Erm...

0:16:14 > 0:16:16Excuse me. See that whirling dervish over there?

0:16:18 > 0:16:22I think he brought some outside snacks into the venue.

0:16:22 > 0:16:26- Thanks, Carl. You're a really good friend.- Yeah... Agh!

0:16:28 > 0:16:29You really cheered me up.

0:16:33 > 0:16:35Dude - this concert's pretty good, huh?

0:16:35 > 0:16:37Carl... Oh!

0:16:41 > 0:16:42Erm...!

0:16:47 > 0:16:50- Jane, what happened to you last night?- I got my dad to pick me up.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52Did you end up talking to Carl?

0:16:52 > 0:16:54It was hard - his mouth was attached to Brittany's.

0:16:54 > 0:16:58- You saw Carl kissing Brittany?! - Oh, yeah. With both eyes.

0:16:58 > 0:17:02- Jane, did you have fun at the concert?- Not as much fun as you(!)

0:17:02 > 0:17:06- Oh, and by the way - Jane might have seen you macking on Brittany.- What?!

0:17:06 > 0:17:09That wasn't macking, it was...sympathy!

0:17:09 > 0:17:12- Oh, our plan has totally failed. - Our plan is working perfectly -

0:17:12 > 0:17:15Jane's gotta be jealous. Go and tell her you like her

0:17:15 > 0:17:17- and you have no plan to continue macking on Brittany.- Got it.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19And it wasn't macking! Sympathy.

0:17:19 > 0:17:20Jane!

0:17:20 > 0:17:24'I give Carl's chances of getting out of this to be one in 100.'

0:17:25 > 0:17:27..I know, I know!

0:17:28 > 0:17:32Jane - me kissing Brittany was a one-time misunderstanding.

0:17:32 > 0:17:35I am single and totally on the market and the girl I really like...

0:17:35 > 0:17:39Open your ears, and brace yourself. Wait for it...

0:17:39 > 0:17:42"Carttany." Don't you love it - Carl, Brittany - Carttany?

0:17:42 > 0:17:45It's like THE most perfect couple name ever.

0:17:45 > 0:17:50The other possible name was Britt-l, but it sounded too peanut-ty.

0:17:50 > 0:17:54Besides, everyone's already started calling us "Carttany"!

0:17:54 > 0:17:56The new "it" couple!

0:17:56 > 0:17:59Congratulations! I guess.

0:18:02 > 0:18:05And I will see you at lunch, my darling...

0:18:06 > 0:18:08'No - make that one in a million.'

0:18:10 > 0:18:12Why does this ALWAYS happen to him?!

0:18:12 > 0:18:15Hey - Carl. How's it going, dude, what happened?

0:18:15 > 0:18:17So I guess you heard about "Carttany".

0:18:17 > 0:18:21Yeah. Brittany's kinda got a blog about your relationship.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23"Oh, I miss Carl so much.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26"Carl needs to step up his hair gel game."

0:18:26 > 0:18:28She's kinda right about the hair gel.

0:18:28 > 0:18:32Jane took off. You had no right telling her how I felt!

0:18:32 > 0:18:34I can't stress that enough -

0:18:34 > 0:18:36if I could underline it in the air, I would.

0:18:36 > 0:18:41Look, Jane's jealous. Is it possible that I did you a favour?

0:18:41 > 0:18:45I guess. I just have to get Brittany out the picture and ask Jane out.

0:18:45 > 0:18:48It's time to turn Carttany into history.

0:18:48 > 0:18:50Brittany, we've got to talk.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53Talking isn't one of our scheduled "coupled activities".

0:18:53 > 0:18:55I just don't think we're working out.

0:18:55 > 0:18:59Not yet - couples' yoga isn't till Thursday. Sit, sit, sit.

0:18:59 > 0:19:02We're just... not a good match, Brittany.

0:19:02 > 0:19:05But...we're wearing complementary colours.

0:19:05 > 0:19:09- I think we should start seeing other people.- We do. Look, all around us.

0:19:09 > 0:19:10I'm breaking up with you!

0:19:13 > 0:19:15- What are you...- Ah!

0:19:15 > 0:19:17- But...- Texting!

0:19:18 > 0:19:19And...sent.

0:19:19 > 0:19:22Carl, I've given this a little thought, and I'm...

0:19:22 > 0:19:23breaking up with you.

0:19:23 > 0:19:26CHORUS OF MOBILE TEXT ALERTS

0:19:26 > 0:19:29Dumped through a text. That's really harsh.

0:19:29 > 0:19:32Listen up, everybody. Carttany is splitsville!

0:19:32 > 0:19:33APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:19:34 > 0:19:38I'm having a break-up party, and everyone is invited

0:19:38 > 0:19:41except for he-knows-who.

0:19:46 > 0:19:48You broke up with Brittany? Good for you, Carl.

0:19:48 > 0:19:51Oh, you noticed? It was such a low-profile event(!)

0:19:52 > 0:19:54Now to finally ask about Jane.

0:19:55 > 0:19:56Hey - Jane...

0:19:56 > 0:20:00Wow, you just got dumped in front of the entire school. Brutal.

0:20:00 > 0:20:02Yeah - over it, I bounce back quick. I'm young.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05This whole time I was so afraid Brittany would treat you badly -

0:20:05 > 0:20:08she can be so prickly, like a...glossy blonde cactus.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10- So you were just looking out for me? - Of course,

0:20:10 > 0:20:12I don't think you and Brittany are a good match.

0:20:12 > 0:20:16- So you think you and I are...- Best friends? Absolutely.- Best friends.

0:20:16 > 0:20:18AAAAAGH!

0:20:21 > 0:20:23- How are you guys doing? - Great! Best friends.

0:20:23 > 0:20:26Cool. Jane, weren't you a LITTLE jealous of Carttany?

0:20:26 > 0:20:28Define "little".

0:20:28 > 0:20:30- Refrigerator...little?- Nope.

0:20:30 > 0:20:33- Microwave little? - Not really. More like...

0:20:33 > 0:20:35toaster little. See ya!

0:20:36 > 0:20:39She's...toaster jealous. That's a pretty good size!

0:20:40 > 0:20:43Yeah, it is. Oh, and it's a four-slicer.

0:20:43 > 0:20:45- Wanna grab a snack?- Got the jam!

0:20:47 > 0:20:50Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:20:50 > 0:20:52E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk