Reality Bites

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0:00:03 > 0:00:05You know the expression "feeling under the weather"?

0:00:05 > 0:00:08Who feels OVER the weather? It's in the sky. We're under it.

0:00:08 > 0:00:12Attention, everybody. As you know, I've beaten many of my goals -

0:00:12 > 0:00:17girl band, music videos, being the girl you love to hate.

0:00:17 > 0:00:22But there's one goal that I have yet to beat, and I am going to beat it -

0:00:22 > 0:00:23TV host. Hold for applause.

0:00:26 > 0:00:29To be a host, don't you need something to host?

0:00:29 > 0:00:31We are going to put on an online news show.

0:00:31 > 0:00:32There's your answer.

0:00:32 > 0:00:36So sign here - below my name, so you're all beneath me.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38- A news show? That's a lofty goal, Brittany.- "Lofty" -

0:00:38 > 0:00:41I like your use of language, Porter. You'll be co-host.

0:00:41 > 0:00:45- But I...- Serge - sports. - Oh, two words that go great together!

0:00:45 > 0:00:49- Jane, need you to...- Provide investigative journalism? You got it.

0:00:49 > 0:00:53Can I be cue-card boy? I love jobs that end with "boy". Paper boy,

0:00:53 > 0:00:58- dentist boy...- Carl, what can I put you down for, besides that haircut?

0:00:58 > 0:01:00Because it is heinous!

0:01:00 > 0:01:02Meteorologist?

0:01:02 > 0:01:03No-one cares about meteors, Carl.

0:01:03 > 0:01:07- It means weatherman, Brittany. - Carl would be a great weatherman.

0:01:07 > 0:01:10Good idea, Porter. Carl, you're the weatherman.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13It'll bring some...illegimidacy to the show.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16My forecast - sunny with the chance of COOL!

0:01:16 > 0:01:19Yeah, small chance. Less than 15%.

0:01:22 > 0:01:26# Let's give it one more shot

0:01:26 > 0:01:29# Let's give it everything we've got

0:01:29 > 0:01:32# Cos if we get it right

0:01:32 > 0:01:37# We will surely conquer the world

0:01:37 > 0:01:41# Hey! I've got my wings from an angel

0:01:41 > 0:01:44# Now we're wingin' it all the time

0:01:44 > 0:01:48# I'm giving wings to an angel

0:01:48 > 0:01:50# Always an angel

0:01:50 > 0:01:54# Now we gotta learn to fly. #

0:02:01 > 0:02:03And you're on. >

0:02:03 > 0:02:05Welcome back. I'm Brittany Hansen.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08Gnarly! Barf me out! Primo!

0:02:08 > 0:02:11These 1980s slang words and more coming up in our top story,

0:02:11 > 0:02:13entitled "What were old people saying?".

0:02:13 > 0:02:16Now a word from my co-host.

0:02:16 > 0:02:18I'm Porter Jackson, and coming up, I am a big goof.

0:02:18 > 0:02:24- Erm, I mean...- Let's go to Jane Casey, with Bennett High gossip.

0:02:24 > 0:02:28I'm here with exclusive breaking news on Bennett High's serial smoocher.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31This week, somebody has been kissing the mirrors in the girls' washroom,

0:02:31 > 0:02:34leaving ugly, caked-on lip-gloss marks.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36With me now is Janitor Jenkins.

0:02:37 > 0:02:40Hi. I'm Janitor Jenkins of no fixed address.

0:02:40 > 0:02:43Tell our viewers, how have you been cleaning up this lip feedie?

0:02:43 > 0:02:47- Toilet brush.- And what kind of toilet brush are you using?

0:02:47 > 0:02:50- The one I put in the toilet. - There you have it. Brittany?

0:02:50 > 0:02:52A toilet brush?

0:02:52 > 0:02:54SHE GAGS

0:02:54 > 0:02:56Go to Serge!

0:02:56 > 0:02:59Now an interview with Bennett High's Athlete of the Week.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01How many touchdowns have you got today?

0:03:01 > 0:03:0219.

0:03:02 > 0:03:06Wow, 19. That's a record. Congratulations, athlete Serge.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08Oh, thanks, sportscaster Serge.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11And now let's go to the weather.

0:03:13 > 0:03:17What have we got, Carl Montclaire, local asteroid...ololologist?

0:03:17 > 0:03:19That's "meteorologist".

0:03:19 > 0:03:21Whatevs. It looks like we're in

0:03:21 > 0:03:23for some rad tanning weather this weekend.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28- Carl?- What?

0:03:28 > 0:03:29Oh, right.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32Um, the, uh, north-east is going to be having, um,

0:03:32 > 0:03:37a subtropical low-pressure system coming in from, um, the south.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

0:03:39 > 0:03:43Just give us the short version. What kind of SPF are we looking at?

0:03:43 > 0:03:4550!

0:03:45 > 0:03:49Which is also the number of minutes it took Carl to tie that tie today!

0:03:50 > 0:03:54Couldn't be more wrong! Who's laughing now?

0:03:54 > 0:03:56Everyone, at you.

0:03:56 > 0:03:57That's it. I'm Brittany Hansen,

0:03:57 > 0:04:00- reminding you that I'm better than you.- At being annoying.

0:04:00 > 0:04:04- So stay pretty.- Pretty annoying. - See you next time.- Annoying!

0:04:08 > 0:04:10Well, I'm never doing that again.

0:04:10 > 0:04:12You've got to give it one more try.

0:04:12 > 0:04:14Why? If that broadcast was a weather event,

0:04:14 > 0:04:17- it would have been a class four hurricane.- No way!

0:04:17 > 0:04:20- Class three.- Brittany was making fun of me, and I was sweating so much

0:04:20 > 0:04:24people thought it was raining in the studio. The show was terrible.

0:04:24 > 0:04:26Great job, guys.

0:04:26 > 0:04:30- What?- Yeah, they're loving it.- We're a hit? Not that there was any doubt.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33- Everyone's talking about you and Carl.- But mostly me, right?

0:04:33 > 0:04:37- Carl, you're a star.- I am the only star here.- Yeah, the Big Dipper.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40- You're a weatherman. You can be replaced by a window.- You're right.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43Oh, this just in - I'm out.

0:04:43 > 0:04:44Whatevs.

0:04:44 > 0:04:48Ooh, just got chilly in here.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50See, Carl, take a look.

0:04:50 > 0:04:53You have been replaced by people who don't even talk!

0:04:53 > 0:04:54How?

0:04:54 > 0:04:57Sunny.

0:04:57 > 0:04:59Rain.

0:04:59 > 0:05:00Snow.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02Well, the best of luck to all of you.

0:05:03 > 0:05:08So, when you're being weathergirls, it is always sunny in your minds.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11- Even when it's rainy outside. OK?- Brittany Hansen!

0:05:11 > 0:05:14Steve. Steve McTeigh.

0:05:14 > 0:05:16- You sound famous. - Yeah, because I am.

0:05:16 > 0:05:20My show online has a ton of hits. It is way bigger than Bennett High, OK?

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Now, here's what I'm playing with, OK?

0:05:22 > 0:05:25We take it to the next level. You in a reality show.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!

0:05:27 > 0:05:30- Are you OK here?- Yes.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32That is my way of saying YES!

0:05:32 > 0:05:36- Coolio. All right, you get your partner on board, it's a go.- Porter?

0:05:36 > 0:05:40- He'll do it.- No, no, no, the little weather kid. Cale? Caleb? Carl! Carl.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!

0:05:42 > 0:05:43Is that another yes here?

0:05:43 > 0:05:46No! That is also my way of saying NO!

0:05:46 > 0:05:50- I would never work with that little goblin.- Look, no Carl, no show.

0:05:50 > 0:05:53By "never" I meant

0:05:53 > 0:05:57"I would LOVE to work with that little goblin"!

0:05:57 > 0:06:00OK. Slammin'. We start shooting this tomorrow.

0:06:02 > 0:06:03HE LAUGHS

0:06:05 > 0:06:06YES! HA!

0:06:11 > 0:06:15Good news, Carl. I have had a change of heart. You are back on the air.

0:06:15 > 0:06:21I just used my influence to get us on a reality-TV show!

0:06:21 > 0:06:25That's great, but I have no interest in doing a TV show with you.

0:06:25 > 0:06:30- A-huh?- And off of Brittany's shocked look, we...fade out.

0:06:38 > 0:06:41Ooh, Carl, weatherman, superstar, BFF.

0:06:41 > 0:06:42Yeah, two out of four, right?

0:06:42 > 0:06:44Ooh, math! You're so smart, Carl.

0:06:44 > 0:06:46Did you order a personality change?

0:06:46 > 0:06:49As Carl's friend, you're smart, but Carl is smarter,

0:06:49 > 0:06:53- and that's why he's going to do my reality show.- I already told you no.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55Then you've left me no choice.

0:06:55 > 0:06:58Please, Carl! Please!

0:06:58 > 0:07:01Pleeeeease!

0:07:01 > 0:07:04Please!

0:07:06 > 0:07:10Carl Montclaire! My favourite weather system. Steve McTeigh, producer.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12Why are you wearing a cowboy hat?

0:07:12 > 0:07:15I got that on my last show, Ponies Across the Nation.

0:07:15 > 0:07:17We took a bunch of inner-city kids,

0:07:17 > 0:07:20plopped them down on horses and just started riding.

0:07:20 > 0:07:23Yeah, it went great, until we got to the Mississippi. Yeah...

0:07:23 > 0:07:26Still a couple of horses and a bunch of kids out there.

0:07:26 > 0:07:31I understand you've got some concerns about starring in your reality show.

0:07:31 > 0:07:35Well, maybe this fruit basket will help change your mind.

0:07:35 > 0:07:37No? Plan B.

0:07:37 > 0:07:40- Look, good luck with your show. - Uh, gentlemen?

0:07:42 > 0:07:45Carl, I'm so glad this reality show's coming to Bennett High.

0:07:45 > 0:07:47They're giving us a new science lab!

0:07:47 > 0:07:51Perhaps now I can finally find the cure for spiky hair.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53I haven't really said yes yet.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55STEVE: Carl, this show needs you.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57No-one else is as hilarious.

0:07:57 > 0:07:58I'm hilarious?

0:07:58 > 0:08:00THEY LAUGH

0:08:00 > 0:08:03And your banter is off the charts. It's where banter is heading.

0:08:03 > 0:08:06People are going to love to see you on your own show. >

0:08:06 > 0:08:08Say yes for your public.

0:08:08 > 0:08:12- Do it for Bennett High. Do it for science! - Do it for me.

0:08:13 > 0:08:14Well...

0:08:14 > 0:08:16Being on a reality show would be cool.

0:08:16 > 0:08:19I just have to be myself, so there'd be no pressure.

0:08:19 > 0:08:22I'm only holding back because how often do four people beg you?

0:08:22 > 0:08:25And they all have fruit baskets! I think I saw a guava on one of them.

0:08:25 > 0:08:29- I'll do it.- YES!- Yes!

0:08:29 > 0:08:31Let's check the beaker catalogue.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33You should see the new Bunsen burners!

0:08:33 > 0:08:35Oh!

0:08:35 > 0:08:36- Fruit?- Yeah! Thanks.

0:08:36 > 0:08:39Hey, he took the guava!

0:08:39 > 0:08:42- So, look, Mr McTeigh... - Hey, hold that thought.

0:08:42 > 0:08:43I wonder if he's calling Hollywood.

0:08:43 > 0:08:48And...done! Just downloaded a hot new ringtone. OK, Carl, go.

0:08:48 > 0:08:51- What's the show going to be about? - You're just two crazy kids!

0:08:51 > 0:08:55- Crazy. Check.- Trying to make it through high school.- Seems accurate.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57And you're brother and sister.

0:08:56 > 0:08:57- What?- Done!

0:08:57 > 0:09:00You got each other's backs and you get on each other's nerves.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02It's going to be sensational! I call it "Sibs City!"

0:09:02 > 0:09:05Brother and sister?! How is that reality TV?

0:09:05 > 0:09:08You're focusing too much on the reality, not enough on the TV.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11- Yeah, Carl, not enough on the TV. - And the show starts...

0:09:11 > 0:09:15now! Thank you so much for letting me be involved. Big fan.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17Here we go. Action!

0:09:17 > 0:09:19Who's my bro?

0:09:19 > 0:09:20I am....

0:09:20 > 0:09:23Real. Be real! Be more real. >

0:09:38 > 0:09:41I can't be seen. I'm under an exclusive contract

0:09:41 > 0:09:44as a spokesman for Gobsmack juice, Japan.

0:09:44 > 0:09:48Courage. Conviction pants. Gobsmack.

0:09:52 > 0:09:56Hey, little Bro! Oh, Mr Dolby is such a bore.

0:09:56 > 0:10:00Kinda reminds me of that 12-hour car trip we took to see Aunt...Mark.

0:10:00 > 0:10:02What car ride? Who the heck is Aunt Mark?

0:10:02 > 0:10:07Carl, don't you remember any interesting stories for the camera?

0:10:07 > 0:10:10Never mind. Let's dance.

0:10:10 > 0:10:14- What?- Come on, join me, Brother, like we always do!

0:10:14 > 0:10:15Kids love dancing! >

0:10:19 > 0:10:21Looks like you got bitten by a snake.

0:10:21 > 0:10:22Brittany, snappy retort!

0:10:22 > 0:10:24Snappy retort!

0:10:24 > 0:10:26That doesn't make sense.

0:10:26 > 0:10:30Cut! I love it. That was amaz'. I wouldn't change a thing.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32Question. Can we do it one more time?

0:10:32 > 0:10:35This time, make more fun of each other. Get in there.

0:10:35 > 0:10:37That is what the fans want. Fact.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45Jane! I need someone to host my "Sibs City!" aftershow.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47You'd be commenting on the show.

0:10:47 > 0:10:50I loved your Bennett Beat report on the sloppy joe crisis.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53You think I'd make a good after-show host?

0:10:53 > 0:10:56- Of course I do! - And I can be Jane's co-host.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59Of course you could. My people will call your people.

0:10:59 > 0:11:01We don't have any people.

0:11:01 > 0:11:02OK, my people will call you.

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Wait, who are your people?

0:11:04 > 0:11:06Actually, I don't have people. I'll, um...

0:11:06 > 0:11:09Let's just assume that we're good like Gorgonzola, OK?

0:11:11 > 0:11:14# Sibs, sibs, sibs... # CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:11:15 > 0:11:19Welcome to the Sibs aftershow. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:11:20 > 0:11:23I'm Jane. This is my co-host Denise. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:11:23 > 0:11:27Thanks, guys. Now, let the mockery begin. How about that Brittany?

0:11:27 > 0:11:29A little intense.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31And Carl, he's cute, huh?

0:11:31 > 0:11:36- But what a close call today.- Classic Brittany.- Let's go there now.

0:11:39 > 0:11:41Oh. Hey, Brittany, what's up?

0:11:41 > 0:11:43Goodbye. I'm running away from this place.

0:11:43 > 0:11:48- Don't get everybody's hopes up. - That hurts! I'm leaving immediately.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50But we have an English test after lunch.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52I don't care me nothing about no English.

0:11:52 > 0:11:54I'm going where they only speak my language

0:11:54 > 0:11:57and where I don't have a despicable brother to deal with.

0:11:57 > 0:12:00AUDIENCE: Awww!

0:12:00 > 0:12:03She was almost lost to us forever, but then, luckily,

0:12:03 > 0:12:06a certain someone was able to change her mind.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09# Got two sibs Watched by all the kids

0:12:09 > 0:12:13# Rapidly rising Hilarious vids

0:12:13 > 0:12:16# Oh-oh, here they are The stars of the show

0:12:16 > 0:12:20# The snarky sis And the lovable bro. #

0:12:20 > 0:12:24- Ha, "snarky sis and the lovable bro"! I like it!- "Lovable bro"?!

0:12:24 > 0:12:29- I'm staying, just to prove that you're snarky and I'm lovable.- Ooh!

0:12:29 > 0:12:31OK, Bro?

0:12:31 > 0:12:33# Sibs City! #

0:12:33 > 0:12:38"To Sidney, keep reaching for the stars.

0:12:38 > 0:12:41"You're only a stepladder away."

0:12:42 > 0:12:46"Dear...random fan,

0:12:46 > 0:12:50"amazing that you're not trembling in my presence."

0:12:50 > 0:12:55To make this go faster, how about you guys write your own wishes

0:12:55 > 0:12:58and then Carl and I will just sign them?

0:12:58 > 0:13:01I don't want your autograph! Even if you're famous,

0:13:01 > 0:13:03I'll remember you not brushing your teeth for a month.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06I was using mouthwash! It's the same thing.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09You had poppy seeds in your teeth for 30 days.

0:13:09 > 0:13:12- Last chance.- Pass. I hope you're not too carried away with the show.

0:13:12 > 0:13:16- For a reality show, it's not very real.- I'm just having fun. Fun!

0:13:16 > 0:13:18The cameras are only in my face at school.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20Then they disappear and I go home and relax.

0:13:20 > 0:13:25And I said I was looking for canned peaches, and he said, "Aisle 7".

0:13:25 > 0:13:29And I went to aisle 17, so it was all cat food and squeaky toys!

0:13:29 > 0:13:34We don't even have a cat! It was a crazy day. Funny when that happens.

0:13:34 > 0:13:38Hey! Hey, Bro! You were almost late for family dinner.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41- And you're sitting in my chair. - Don't worry,

0:13:41 > 0:13:42we didn't start without you.

0:13:42 > 0:13:45There's just enough time to dance!

0:13:48 > 0:13:50Get up, get up, get up!

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Come on, Carl, all the kids are vibing this dance!

0:13:56 > 0:13:57Still having fun?

0:13:59 > 0:14:01Not so much.

0:14:08 > 0:14:09- You're cool with this?- Yeah, sure.

0:14:09 > 0:14:13The show's sponsor is giving me a lifetime supply of paper towels.

0:14:13 > 0:14:16At last I can spill to my heart's content!

0:14:16 > 0:14:20OK, people, we want to see one big, dynamic family, right?

0:14:20 > 0:14:22I'm going to go spill something!

0:14:23 > 0:14:26Becky, you didn't score well with the focus testing.

0:14:26 > 0:14:30Would you mind staying more in the background? I mean go to your room.

0:14:30 > 0:14:34Don't worry about it. While you're down here making reality television,

0:14:34 > 0:14:35I'll be upstairs watching real TV.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40Can we do this? OK, keep it real, do y'all thing, right?

0:14:40 > 0:14:43It ain't nothing but a chicken wing on a string.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46And here we go, actione Jacksione!

0:14:46 > 0:14:51- I can hardly wait for dinner. - Dinner is my favourite meal.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53- Next to supper.- Cut!

0:14:53 > 0:14:56That was awesome, awesome, awesome.

0:14:56 > 0:15:00- Except it was horrible. Brittany, don't look into the camera.- Got it.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03OK. All right, let's just get back on the train, right? It's all gravy.

0:15:03 > 0:15:04And action!

0:15:06 > 0:15:10- Look, kids, I made candied yams!- Oh, great, Mom, love your candied yams.

0:15:10 > 0:15:12Me too, I love your candied yams.

0:15:12 > 0:15:14No, I don't. They make me break out.

0:15:14 > 0:15:18Cut! Brittany, don't look into the camera!

0:15:18 > 0:15:20I need a moment.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22All right, I've had it.

0:15:22 > 0:15:25I am hungry, Brittany. Stop looking into the camera so we can eat.

0:15:25 > 0:15:29But I'm trying to connect with my fans!

0:15:29 > 0:15:33Yeah, and I love that about you, all right? But looking into the camera...

0:15:33 > 0:15:36Well, it...it can break it.

0:15:36 > 0:15:40- Really?- Fact. This high-def lens,

0:15:40 > 0:15:43it can't take your intense stare. True story.

0:15:44 > 0:15:47I didn't know that. And it's really helpful.

0:15:47 > 0:15:51OK! Here we go again, all right? Let's not mess this up! And action!

0:15:51 > 0:15:53Pass the yams, please.

0:15:53 > 0:15:56- Cut!- I didn't look into the camera!

0:15:56 > 0:16:00- I thought you looked into the camera. - I didn't!- How are you doing, pal?

0:16:00 > 0:16:03- You look a little peevish. - Yeah! I just want to eat my dinner,

0:16:03 > 0:16:06but I can't, because Brittany won't stop looking into the camera.

0:16:06 > 0:16:10Oh, Carl, you are not the director. You are barely a prop.

0:16:10 > 0:16:11So zip it.

0:16:11 > 0:16:15And you're just jealous, because you can't break a camera with your eyes.

0:16:15 > 0:16:18You're breaking my spirit with your face.

0:16:18 > 0:16:20How dare you insult my face to my face!

0:16:20 > 0:16:23Should I do it behind your back, like everybody does?

0:16:23 > 0:16:26Do you want me to throw a yam at you?

0:16:26 > 0:16:29- Because I will throw a yam at you. - Hey, I yam what I yam!

0:16:29 > 0:16:31- You know what you are, Carl? - What am I, Brittany?

0:16:31 > 0:16:33Covered in yams.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42Hey, Brittany?

0:16:42 > 0:16:44How about some yam-me-downs?

0:16:46 > 0:16:48- How'd that one taste, princess?- Ugh!

0:16:52 > 0:16:56- You... Take it like a yam! - Stop yammering!

0:16:56 > 0:16:58It's yammer time!

0:17:01 > 0:17:04You kids, stop playing with your food!

0:17:05 > 0:17:07This is cool! This is cool!

0:17:07 > 0:17:11Silence of the Yams!

0:17:14 > 0:17:18At first, I was a little iffy. I liked Carl and Brittany's repartee.

0:17:18 > 0:17:20But now it seems to be getting out of control.

0:17:20 > 0:17:23- Let's take another look.- Let's.

0:17:23 > 0:17:26Here's that yam fight again, in slow motion.

0:17:27 > 0:17:30Wow, Carl is really taking a beating.

0:17:30 > 0:17:33According to our viewer poll, people think Carl's blood is boiling.

0:17:33 > 0:17:37Yes, 75% of them want to see him explode by the end of the day.

0:17:37 > 0:17:39Emotionally, not physically. Messy.

0:17:39 > 0:17:42WHOOSHING Oh, you know what that means!

0:17:42 > 0:17:43That's right. Time to dance!

0:17:51 > 0:17:54The show keeps portraying me as this out-of-control guy.

0:17:54 > 0:17:58If the cameras weren't around, I could talk to Brittany properly.

0:17:58 > 0:18:01All right, one break from the cameras coming up.

0:18:02 > 0:18:04Oh, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

0:18:04 > 0:18:08We need to change the batteries on the cameras, guys. Hold for five.

0:18:08 > 0:18:09Come on, chop chop.

0:18:10 > 0:18:13Brittany, can we talk? I don't want to do this show.

0:18:13 > 0:18:15It's a completely fake version of me and my family.

0:18:15 > 0:18:19I want to be your real friend, not your fake enemy on a stupid TV show.

0:18:19 > 0:18:24I don't think I've ever had a real friend. Not a REAL real friend.

0:18:24 > 0:18:27I'll be your friend, and I'll be a great friend.

0:18:27 > 0:18:29OK. Friends.

0:18:31 > 0:18:37But I'm not quitting the TV show. You are such a dumb little brother!

0:18:44 > 0:18:48Hey, how do you leave the house with that ridiculous-looking thing?

0:18:48 > 0:18:50- It's not so bad. - I was talking to the shirt.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53- Cut! - What? I didn't look in the camera.

0:18:53 > 0:18:56Someone posted a video of you guys being nice to each other.

0:18:56 > 0:18:57Listen to this.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00'I want to be your real friend, not your fake enemy on a stupid TV show.'

0:19:00 > 0:19:02This kills the premise of the show.

0:19:02 > 0:19:06- Viewers want conflict, not this touchy-feely, sappy stuff.- Ohhh!

0:19:06 > 0:19:10Your ratings are tanking. Your 15 minutes of fame are up. Show's over.

0:19:10 > 0:19:16NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

0:19:16 > 0:19:20That's show biz, kid. You're the next big thing until the next big thing.

0:19:20 > 0:19:23Here's me, going to green-light my next hit series.

0:19:24 > 0:19:27Oh, no!

0:19:29 > 0:19:32- Brittany...- Oh, no!- Brittany, can you get off the ground?

0:19:32 > 0:19:36No! Just leave me here in my heap of shame!

0:19:36 > 0:19:37Ohhh!

0:19:37 > 0:19:39Come on.

0:19:39 > 0:19:40SHE WAILS

0:19:40 > 0:19:45Better a cancelled show with a real friend than a hit with no friends.

0:19:45 > 0:19:48Ever since you have been my real friend, my show got cancelled.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50Real friendships are for real losers!

0:19:50 > 0:19:53Agh! You loser!

0:19:53 > 0:19:55And she's back.

0:19:56 > 0:20:00Am I glad that's over! Lucky somebody released that footage.

0:20:00 > 0:20:02Would this be the footage?

0:20:02 > 0:20:05'I don't think I've ever had a real friend.'

0:20:05 > 0:20:08- I think I got excellent framing on those close-ups.- It was you?

0:20:08 > 0:20:13- Thanks, Porter!- You said you wanted out, and that's what I'm here for.

0:20:13 > 0:20:17Hey, Steve, we heard "Sib City!" got cancelled. What gives?

0:20:17 > 0:20:20Shows are boring. They live, they die fast, horrible, low-rated deaths.

0:20:20 > 0:20:23So our aftershow is cancelled, too?

0:20:23 > 0:20:26Oh, no, no, no, it's got barfo ratings. You're still on.

0:20:26 > 0:20:30But there's no more "Sib City!" What are we supposed to talk about?

0:20:30 > 0:20:33It wasn't about the talking. It's about the dancing.

0:20:34 > 0:20:36Later.

0:20:39 > 0:20:42- Well, looks like I'm back to being a nobody.- Happy?

0:20:42 > 0:20:45I'm so happy I could dance.

0:20:50 > 0:20:52Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:20:52 > 0:20:56E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk