0:00:02 > 0:00:05My theory on the time continuum can be distilled as follows -
0:00:05 > 0:00:07there are units of time...
0:00:09 > 0:00:12..and in between those units of time are units of no time.
0:00:12 > 0:00:15Time, no time. Time, no time.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18Time...anybody?
0:00:18 > 0:00:19- Ooh! Ooh!- Carl?
0:00:19 > 0:00:22- You take that back!- Oh, I'll take it back - back to the bank!
0:00:22 > 0:00:24What is this acoustical disturbance?
0:00:26 > 0:00:29Tarrandale is going down at the Physics Games.
0:00:29 > 0:00:30That'd be a first, Malone.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33It's called the Physics Games, but it's just sports events
0:00:33 > 0:00:35with a physics angle tacked on.
0:00:35 > 0:00:39It hurts Serge to say this, but Bennett High's never won the Games.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Argh! It actually hurt me to say that.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44The Bennett Bears could never take the Tarrandale Tigers.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46Care to make it interesting, m'Looney Tunes?
0:00:46 > 0:00:49Sure, Mooser-Looser!
0:00:49 > 0:00:52If Bennett High wins the Physics Games...
0:00:52 > 0:00:54..we get Tarrandale's gobsmack vending machine!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57- No, their video-screen scoreboard! - Printing press!
0:00:57 > 0:00:59< Their atrium fountain!
0:00:59 > 0:01:01What? It's stocked with koi!
0:01:01 > 0:01:05I've got it. Mooser, if Bennett High wins the Physics Games,
0:01:05 > 0:01:07I get one month with your convertible.
0:01:07 > 0:01:11Deal. And if Tarrandale High wins, I get your...
0:01:11 > 0:01:12ukulele.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14ALL GASP
0:01:19 > 0:01:22- Deal. That's the confidence I have in my students.- Then you won't mind
0:01:22 > 0:01:25if I pick your Bear Cubs for you.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27You, you, you and you.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Well, that's only four. Who's your final pick?
0:01:35 > 0:01:39Gah...I would like to volunteer.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41It's on!
0:01:48 > 0:01:51# Let's give it one more shot
0:01:51 > 0:01:55# Let's give it everything we've got
0:01:55 > 0:01:57# Cos if we get it right
0:01:57 > 0:02:03# We will surely conquer the world
0:02:03 > 0:02:06# I've got my wings from an angel
0:02:06 > 0:02:10# Now we're wingin' it all the time
0:02:10 > 0:02:13# I'm giving wings to an angel
0:02:13 > 0:02:16# On the wings of an angel
0:02:16 > 0:02:19# Now we've gotta learn to fly. #
0:02:26 > 0:02:28# Sure as shootin', we love Newton
0:02:28 > 0:02:31# Welcome to the 22nd annual Physics Games!
0:02:31 > 0:02:34# Where we compete for the coveted Newton's Cradle! #
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Which Bennett High will win this year.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Preposterous! Let's make this really interesting.
0:02:41 > 0:02:46If Bennett High wins, my team will clean your entire school grounds!
0:02:49 > 0:02:51- And if Tarrandale wins... - Please don't say it.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54..my team will clean your school grounds.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Yup, he said it.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58After exhaustive negotiations,
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Tarrandale's own Principal Mooser and I
0:03:01 > 0:03:04have finally agreed on an impartial judge, so please welcome
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Bennett High's own Mr Telson!
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, that's great.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14He teaches here. How is he impartial?
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Stow it, Montclaire!
0:03:16 > 0:03:19I'm impartial because I happen to dislike everybody equally!
0:03:19 > 0:03:20How did you hear that?
0:03:20 > 0:03:22My anger dumps adrenaline into my system,
0:03:22 > 0:03:26which heightens my senses. Now I have the hearing of a fruit bat!
0:03:26 > 0:03:28And the subtlety of a baseball bat.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30I heard that. Let's get this show on the road.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34I gotta be in anger management class this afternoon, so, teams, approach.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36OK. Hi. How are you? Good.
0:03:36 > 0:03:41Like I care. OK, let the Physics Games begin!
0:03:41 > 0:03:42CHEERING
0:03:44 > 0:03:48- Here, Carl, I brought you this sports drink.- Quench Extreme!
0:03:48 > 0:03:52- Um, thanks!- So, how's it going? - How do you think it's going?
0:03:52 > 0:03:55- I'm sweating, and I haven't played yet.- You'll do fine.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57That's why I volunteered you.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59"Volunteering" means you do it yourself.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01No, you can volunteer people.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03So, Carl, you ready to bring it home for Bennett High?
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Oh, you betcha, sir. As a matter of fact,
0:04:05 > 0:04:07my good friend Porter
0:04:07 > 0:04:09has volunteered to document all of the games.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12He's offered to do commentary on everything.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Excellent idea, Mr Jackson!
0:04:16 > 0:04:19You're right, you CAN volunteer someone to do something else.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- Ha! Burn!- I don't know why you're laughing, you're holding the camera.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23CARL LAUGHS
0:04:26 > 0:04:30My event is hollow sphere momentum battle, also known as Ping-Pong.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34- Anything else you'd like to add?- No.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37OK, thanks for that riveting interview, Carl.
0:04:37 > 0:04:38This is some good TV.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44OK, best two out of three wins the event.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Gentlemen, if you'll grab your momentum conductors...
0:04:47 > 0:04:50You mean paddles? Don't test me, Carl, don't do that, OK?
0:04:50 > 0:04:53- Step up to your hemispheres, gentlemen.- He means "side".
0:04:57 > 0:04:59WHISTLE BLOWS
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Just give me a chance, all right?
0:05:05 > 0:05:11- How about a little warm-up?- Oh, poor Carl! He's trying so hard! It's sad.
0:05:11 > 0:05:12Cute, but sad.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15I thought a Tarrandale victory would be a piece of cake,
0:05:15 > 0:05:17but this is an entire bakery!
0:05:17 > 0:05:21You want that to sound threatening? It just sounds fattening.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23WHISTLE BLOWS
0:05:23 > 0:05:26All right! First of three games goes to Tarrandale!
0:05:26 > 0:05:29We'll now take a short break while I call my rage sponsor!
0:05:29 > 0:05:32That was brutal! I wonder what kind of gloves I should wear
0:05:32 > 0:05:35when I'm picking up trash off the Tarrandale school grounds.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37You just need focus and determination
0:05:37 > 0:05:39and you can pull off a surprise upset.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42No-one would be more surprised than me, but I'll give it my best.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45- All right.- Why don't you magic him up some help?
0:05:45 > 0:05:48- He's your friend as well as your assignment.- I'm not stepping in.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51He's got to do this on his own, even if he gets his but kicked.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52PRINCIPAL MALONE MUMBLES
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Well, at least he looks good doing it.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Do you have a thing for Carl?
0:05:59 > 0:06:01A thing? As if! Please!
0:06:01 > 0:06:02What are you talking about?
0:06:02 > 0:06:06Yes, I do like Carl, he's cute and sweet
0:06:06 > 0:06:09and who can resist those dimples?
0:06:09 > 0:06:11The problem is, I talked to Dr Cassabi last week
0:06:11 > 0:06:14about whether AITs are even ALLOWED to date humans.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Dr C, you got a sec?
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Make it fast, Denise, there's a lemon Danish in there calling my name.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22What if an angel dated a human? Would they be in big trouble?
0:06:22 > 0:06:25Oh, big is too small a word for that kind of trouble.
0:06:25 > 0:06:30- You'd need a word much bigger than big.- So it never happens?- Ha!
0:06:32 > 0:06:33It never works out.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40I'm going to go ask Carl if he'll do a post-game interview
0:06:40 > 0:06:43about crushing defeat, give us some stuff for the blooper reel.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Carl, Porter wanted to give you a little help
0:06:50 > 0:06:51for the rest of the game.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Use this magic paddle and you'll be awesome.
0:06:53 > 0:06:58- Oh, don't take it by the handle. - Porter's cool with this?- Totally!
0:06:58 > 0:07:01- He was faking you out with that crummy pep talk.- What does it do?
0:07:01 > 0:07:05- Whenever you hold the handle, time slows down.- Just the handle.- Yep.
0:07:05 > 0:07:06Everything slows down so much,
0:07:06 > 0:07:09you'll be able to read the "Made In Taiwan" stamp on the ball.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12This is great! Go get 'em, champ!
0:07:12 > 0:07:16Now, let's battle this hollow sphere and get it over with.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32SLOWED DOWN: All right, Tigers, come on!
0:07:39 > 0:07:40SLOWED-DOWN CHEERING
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Nicely done, Porter. With this magic paddle, I can't lose.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51HE SIGHS
0:08:02 > 0:08:03Time is relative.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Let's say you could experience it at a different rate to your normal time.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09To you, everything else would move at a different speed.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13It could move slowly...or quickly! Cos it's relative.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17Wow! Carl's moving so fast it's hard to keep track of him!
0:08:17 > 0:08:19You set me up, Malone!
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Why do I feel this is some kind of a physics hustle?
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Hey, I just wanted this to be a fun event.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27You wanted to make it interesting.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41SLOWED-DOWN CHEERING
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Ow!
0:08:47 > 0:08:49All right, and Bennett wins!
0:08:49 > 0:08:53They take an early lead in the Physics Games!
0:08:53 > 0:08:58- Carl, you were awesome! - Thanks - thanks to Porter, anyways.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01- Yeah, you're welcome...to Porter. - Carl!
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Look what your dumb Ping-Pong ball did to my fingernail!
0:09:04 > 0:09:08I am not going to be able to compete in the texting match like this!
0:09:08 > 0:09:11I'm going to be TTLY LOLs to my lead BFFs!
0:09:11 > 0:09:14I'm going to be the laughing stock of the texting community!
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Oh, you are so going to be hearing from my manicurist!
0:09:22 > 0:09:25In parabola catch, the object of the game
0:09:25 > 0:09:28is to flick the ball in a perfect parabolic arc
0:09:28 > 0:09:31and land in the cup on one's head.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Usually I'm on the ball, but now the ball's on me.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35That's some good physics humour!
0:09:42 > 0:09:43WHISTLE BLOWS
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Tarrandale wins the parabola catch event,
0:09:46 > 0:09:48tying the Physics Games one to one!
0:09:48 > 0:09:51Next event will be the angle shot.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Don't you mean "basketball"?
0:09:57 > 0:10:00I mean THE ANGLE SHOT!
0:10:04 > 0:10:05What is this event? Fill us in.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08It's where you have to make baskets from farther and farther away
0:10:08 > 0:10:11and from more and more complicated angles.
0:10:11 > 0:10:15- You miss a shot, you lose.- And as we all know, Serge doesn't miss.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Sorry, what was that? I missed it.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49WHISTLE BLOWS
0:10:54 > 0:10:57GASPS
0:11:06 > 0:11:07WHISTLE BLOWS
0:11:10 > 0:11:12GASPS
0:11:22 > 0:11:27- Woo-hoo! Yeah! - So many angles!- Serge!
0:11:27 > 0:11:29You just won by sinking your basket from way more angles!
0:11:29 > 0:11:31What's that like?
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Normal! Totally, totally normal.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35- WHISTLE BLOWS - No, no, no, no.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37- Serge had a human assist. - What human assist?
0:11:37 > 0:11:44My HEAD! Which disqualifies you. The win goes to Tarrandale.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48Tarrandale leads Bennett High two events to one.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Next event - stack strike!
0:11:50 > 0:11:52WHISTLE MAKES NO SOUND
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Oh, you made me break my whistle, loser!
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Stack strike, where we test gravitational theory and stability
0:12:01 > 0:12:04by stacking as many random, oddly-shaped items as possible.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06If that's what they're telling you!
0:12:12 > 0:12:13Time!
0:12:13 > 0:12:14Oh, and the winner is...
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Alex Horatio P Rodriguez!
0:12:18 > 0:12:22Bennett High ties the Physics Games two to two!
0:12:22 > 0:12:25The final event, velocity text, will determine our winner.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27BLOWS HOOTER
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Can someone get me a proper whistle, one that will express my FURY?
0:12:34 > 0:12:36I'm a master at texting.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39I learned to talk three weeks after I learned to text.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42- My first word was LOL. - Thanks, Brittany. We will BRB.
0:12:42 > 0:12:46Let's leave the text talk to the pros, Porter.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48It just got a whole lot colder in here.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52Brittany, you have to compete. It's just a broken nail.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54But it's my thumbnail! It takes forever to text with one thumb!
0:12:54 > 0:12:56And it's going to take even longer than that to clean up
0:12:56 > 0:12:59the Tarrandale school grounds!
0:12:59 > 0:13:00You know what, take this.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03I am not going to hollow sphere momentum battle with you, Carl!
0:13:03 > 0:13:06It's called Ping-Pong! It's my good-luck charm,
0:13:06 > 0:13:08and since breaking your nail was kind of my fault...
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Kind of? Totally of!
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Anyway, I figure you could use all the luck you get.
0:13:12 > 0:13:16- Whenever you need luck, just hold the paddle by the handle.- Whatevs.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20What's Brittany doing with the magic paddle?
0:13:20 > 0:13:21I figured she could use it.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23It stops time for whoever holds its handle, right?
0:13:23 > 0:13:26But I magicked it for you, not to give to some other girl!
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Wait, you made the paddle? I thought Porter made it.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32I only told you Porter made it because I wanted to help you!
0:13:32 > 0:13:35I didn't think you'd take it if you knew it was from me.
0:13:35 > 0:13:42- That's...weirdly sweet.- Don't forget "oddly cute".- You're funny, Denise.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Wait, funny "ha-ha" or funny "I like you"?
0:13:47 > 0:13:49BLOWS SLIDE WHISTLE
0:13:51 > 0:13:52How is this an improvement?!
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Somebody get me a normal whistle or I'll stop being so nice!
0:13:55 > 0:13:57OK, the object of Velocity Text
0:13:57 > 0:14:00is to text as many famous physicists' names
0:14:00 > 0:14:01as you can without error.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04On my signal, ready...set...
0:14:04 > 0:14:06text!
0:14:06 > 0:14:09CHANTING
0:14:18 > 0:14:22Ooh, look at me go! I am text-tastic!
0:14:22 > 0:14:26Even with one hand I'm better than that poser! Oh, that's right, sister!
0:14:26 > 0:14:30You stop in your tracks and take it in, take it ALL in!
0:14:30 > 0:14:36- Man, look at her go! - I know, there's no way she'll lose!
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Wow, why's Brittany typing at hyper-speed
0:14:39 > 0:14:41and why's she holding a Ping-Pong paddle?
0:14:41 > 0:14:46- Oh, you know Brittany.- Yeah, and I know you, so I'm calling your bluff.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50OK, I magicked Carl up a Ping-Pong paddle that slows down time
0:14:50 > 0:14:53so, you know, he could concentrate during the game.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56- And you gave it to Brittany? That's cheating, Carl!- No, no!
0:14:56 > 0:15:01It's not cheating, it's...it's... All right, maybe it's cheating.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Plus, do you think Denise's magic doesn't come without a hitch?
0:15:04 > 0:15:08- Or two or three?- I find it hilarious that you don't think I can hear you.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10All right, I'll go get the Ping-Pong paddle.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13- But it was a very nice thing to do, Denise.- Thank you, Carl.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15BING!
0:15:15 > 0:15:18BING!
0:15:18 > 0:15:20BING!
0:15:22 > 0:15:24BING!
0:15:29 > 0:15:31- What the...?- Sorry, I need my lucky paddle back.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Wait, it turns out your lucky paddle IS lucky.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- You saw how fast I texted the name of those psychics.- Physicists.
0:15:37 > 0:15:43- Bless you.- Brittany, give me the paddle back.- Just get away from me!
0:15:46 > 0:15:49OK, maybe I can just screw it back together...
0:15:57 > 0:16:00Whoa, talk about a time-out.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Looks like I'm stuck in a different time than everyone else.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Well, that cannot be good!
0:16:08 > 0:16:10If matter stays too long in the wrong time,
0:16:10 > 0:16:12it will eventually cease to exist.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14If I don't get back to the right time,
0:16:14 > 0:16:17then I'll be out of time...forever.
0:16:18 > 0:16:22Thanks, you two! This is what I get for having magical friends.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25LOUD, SLOW TICKING
0:16:28 > 0:16:32Man, time's still moving. It's just going really, really slow.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Time can be interpreted at different rates and speeds.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39Time for a turtle can seem much slower than time for a hummingbird.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42So, if time's still moving, that means...
0:16:42 > 0:16:47Carl, you're the hummingbird and everyone else is moving like turtles.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50I'm the hummingbird and everyone else is moving like turtles!
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Whoa! OK, just keep it together.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59How does super-fast Carl get a message to super-slow Denise
0:16:59 > 0:17:01and Porter?
0:17:01 > 0:17:02I could just text them a message.
0:17:05 > 0:17:06Sorry, Brit, I want you to win,
0:17:06 > 0:17:09but my life's a little bit more important.
0:17:09 > 0:17:17"Angels, broke the paddle, stuck in accelerated time, save me.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19"Frowny face." Send.
0:17:22 > 0:17:23Any minute now.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30You know, when you actually take the time to do the math homework,
0:17:30 > 0:17:32it makes sense.
0:17:38 > 0:17:39I think I'll go for a walk.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44HE WHISTLES
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Finally!
0:17:54 > 0:17:59- Frowny face! We need to get to Carl's speed.- Yeah.
0:17:59 > 0:18:04Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up! Oh! Finally!
0:18:04 > 0:18:07- I've been here for hours!- Whoa, I feel like I'm in a wax museum.
0:18:07 > 0:18:11- I was thinking department store. - Wax museum's way cooler.- Never been.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12You should go.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16Well, maybe if I don't vanish forever, I'll take you up on it.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Yeah, quite right. I can't undo another AIT's magic.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22We have to wait for Denise to get up to speed and even then,
0:18:22 > 0:18:24I'm not sure she has the right skill.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31- By the way, I think she likes you. - No way, you're lying. Really?
0:18:31 > 0:18:34- She gave you a magic paddle in your time of need.- Yeah, she did.
0:18:34 > 0:18:40- But you don't like her, do you? - You know what? I kind of do.- No way!
0:18:40 > 0:18:43- Look at her standing there all cute and blushing.- What? Blushing?
0:18:43 > 0:18:47Hey, guys! I didn't see you there!
0:18:48 > 0:18:51- Did you hear everything that we just said?- Yes!
0:18:51 > 0:18:52No.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Yes.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57I was just pretending to be frozen for the last ten seconds or so.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59You deceitful little badger!
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Remember what I said about the bickering?
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Fix me and then we can talk about liking each other.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05Great idea! I'll take care of Carl.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07All right. See you guys on the other side.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13- So, how about a date? - Yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes!
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Oh! It's great to be back in regular time. Oh, yeah, the velocity text.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Stop texting!
0:19:20 > 0:19:22All right, due to a rogue sentence
0:19:22 > 0:19:24that is not part of the required texting field,
0:19:24 > 0:19:26points will be deducted from the Bennett Bears'
0:19:26 > 0:19:28velocity text score.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31- PRINCIPAL MOOSER: - Yes!
0:19:31 > 0:19:33I'll expect your team this weekend
0:19:33 > 0:19:35to clean up the Tarrandale grounds
0:19:35 > 0:19:38and hand over that ridiculous baby guitar, m'loser!
0:19:38 > 0:19:40But with the number of characters that Brittany has texted,
0:19:40 > 0:19:43she has set a new world's record for speed texting.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46According to our rules, that gives her enough bonus points
0:19:46 > 0:19:48that the Physics Games trophy goes to Bennett High!
0:19:48 > 0:19:51CHEERING AND BOOING
0:19:58 > 0:20:03You may have won the battle but you haven't won the war, m'homie.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06See you later, alligator.
0:20:06 > 0:20:07TYRES SCREECH
0:20:07 > 0:20:11- CRASH! - That's my car!
0:20:14 > 0:20:15That tyre needs air.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22I guess I'm more of a public transit kind of guy.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26- ALL: Oh, Principal Malone! - The movies?- You got it!
0:20:26 > 0:20:28I hope you guys know what you're doing.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31Angel-human dating - it's against the rules.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34Carl? Carl? Denise?
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Am I stuck in accelerated time? Guys! Guys!
0:20:41 > 0:20:45- That's not cool, dude!- That was kind of funny!- For a second.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:20:53 > 0:20:56E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk