0:00:03 > 0:00:07Oh, a new message. "I actually LOL-ed. Never happened before.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09"Why do people look back when running from zombies?
0:00:09 > 0:00:12"Ha, ha, what are you looking back there for?"
0:00:12 > 0:00:16I know, it's ridiculous.
0:00:16 > 0:00:21You know the zombie isn't going to stop chasing you.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24That's what they do.
0:00:24 > 0:00:29LOL ROFL, ; - P, also known as winky smiley face.
0:00:29 > 0:00:33Stolen a laptop? I'm surprised you haven't sprouted a router.
0:00:33 > 0:00:37I'm chatting with a girl whose status was, "Eating jellybeans
0:00:37 > 0:00:39"and watching zombie movies." I gave it a thumbs-up
0:00:39 > 0:00:43- and then we chatted until my battery died.- You're Commando Awesome?
0:00:43 > 0:00:47That's a little bit of a stretch, don't you think? Who's SurferGal8?
0:00:47 > 0:00:51I don't know. We haven't got past our online names yet.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Leave it to you to find a perfect girl and not know who she is.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58Commando Awesome has his first mission. Find out who SurferGal8 is.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05# Let's give it one more shot
0:01:05 > 0:01:08# Let's give it everything we've got
0:01:08 > 0:01:11# Cos if we get it right
0:01:11 > 0:01:16# We will surely conquer the world
0:01:16 > 0:01:18# Hey! I've got my wings
0:01:18 > 0:01:19# From an angel
0:01:19 > 0:01:23# Now we're wingin' it all the time
0:01:23 > 0:01:26# I'm giving wings to an angel
0:01:26 > 0:01:29# Always an angel
0:01:29 > 0:01:33# Now we've got to learn to fly. #
0:01:38 > 0:01:42- Who do you think SurferGal8 is? - I don't know, just my future wife!
0:01:42 > 0:01:45How does Mrs Commando Awesome sound?
0:01:45 > 0:01:47How do you know she'll take your name?
0:01:47 > 0:01:51I've narrowed it down based on vibes, hunches and wild guesses.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55I'm SurferGal8. I always have been, I always will be!
0:01:55 > 0:01:58OK, I'm not. Good luck with your search.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02Move along, nothing to see here.
0:02:05 > 0:02:11I'm SurferGal8, honey. Don't let anybody tell you any differently.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- I'm going to ask her to meet up. - This study period is over!
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Laptops down, pencils up. Pop quiz, multiple choice.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21Porter, she's meeting me in the foyer after school in a red scarf.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Laptops down, Montclaire!
0:02:24 > 0:02:29Well, I know most of these answers and I'm meeting up with my girl.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Oh yeah, today is Carl's day.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35And...done! Now I'm going to count down the minutes
0:02:35 > 0:02:39till I meet the girl of my dreams. I think I'll do it in Japanese.
0:02:39 > 0:02:45Jyu, kyu, hatchi, nana, rocku, go, chi, san, ni, ichi...
0:02:45 > 0:02:48What the...? Brittany, Carl!
0:02:48 > 0:02:51- You have just been caught cheating. - Wait, me?!
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Yes! What do you do when you're done with the test?
0:02:54 > 0:02:58- Hope for a good grade?- You turn the paper over so no-one can see it!
0:02:58 > 0:03:02What's the orientation of your paper? Look at you, leaning back
0:03:02 > 0:03:04like you're looking up at clouds.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Well, one of them is shaped like a cheater!
0:03:07 > 0:03:11- I didn't know she saw my answers. Tell them.- I'm not your lawyer.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15- History does not reward cheaters. - I hate cheaters.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Detention, both of you!
0:03:23 > 0:03:26This detention is your fault. I had a meeting to go to,
0:03:26 > 0:03:28a hot meeting. Boiling hot.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32I have things to do too, all better than being with you.
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Silence, you two!
0:03:35 > 0:03:38- What's that club? - Detention club.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42I'm a member of every club. That's the only activity I've never done.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46- It's the greatest club. - You've been in detention?
0:03:46 > 0:03:49- I use it to get out of math. - I don't know how to get detention.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51- I'll show you.- Really?- Yeah.
0:03:56 > 0:03:57- < Psst, Carl!- Oh.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Where do you think you're going?
0:04:00 > 0:04:04- I just need to tell Porter something.- OK, if it's Porter.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- Hey, Porter.- Mr T.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08High-five.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Look, I can't have my laptop in detention.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15- I can't stop being handsome. We all have problems.- No, nut!
0:04:15 > 0:04:19SurferGal8 doesn't know I can't make our date. Tell her I can't make it.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- How will I know her? - She'll wear a red scarf.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25You need to greet her the way we do online.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29Tell me this is not zombie-related. Put both arms in the air and say...
0:04:29 > 0:04:35Aaargh! Aaargh!
0:04:38 > 0:04:39Guess it's her.
0:04:39 > 0:04:44Aaargh! Aaargh!
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Commando Awesome is Porter?
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Don't freak out. I'm not SurferGal8.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53She's a friend, and she wanted me to find out who Commando Awesome is.
0:04:53 > 0:04:57I can't believe Porter likes a human.
0:04:57 > 0:05:02- I also can't believe how good he is at that zombie impersonation.- Aaagh!
0:05:02 > 0:05:05And I can't believe how badly he's striking out.
0:05:05 > 0:05:11This Porter liking a non-angel thing is a disaster. I have to stop it.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15Aaargh! Aaargh! Aaargh!
0:05:17 > 0:05:21Do you guys like jellybeans and zombies?
0:05:21 > 0:05:23How will I find SurferGal8
0:05:23 > 0:05:27when there appears to be a discount sale on red scarves?
0:05:27 > 0:05:31I know from dating Carl that angels dating humans doesn't work.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34So I'll find a better match for SurferGal8,
0:05:34 > 0:05:37and say that's who Commando Awesome is.
0:05:37 > 0:05:41Getting to mess with Porter along the way is just icing on the angel cakes.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Eyes forward, Montclaire.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50What are you looking at?
0:05:50 > 0:05:55- I was wondering why the Listern sisters were here.- Talking in class.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57- Wish I'd seen that. - Everyone stay put.
0:05:57 > 0:06:03I have to get a refill on the pathetic coffee here. It's decaf!
0:06:03 > 0:06:06There's no effect, and it tastes terrible!
0:06:06 > 0:06:10It's not polite to stare, even at somebody as beautiful as me.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14Believe me, I have no interest in staring at the person
0:06:14 > 0:06:16who got me stuck in detention.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20CARL SCOFFS
0:06:20 > 0:06:22What is that supposed to mean?
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- What's what supposed to mean? - You made a sound.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Would you prefer my farting sounds?
0:06:28 > 0:06:30HE BLOWS RASPBERRIES
0:06:32 > 0:06:37PHH-RRR-RRRRT!
0:06:41 > 0:06:44- Silent, but violent. - You know what, Carl,
0:06:44 > 0:06:48I'm so sick of you, I don't even want to look at your face.
0:06:52 > 0:06:53What?
0:06:53 > 0:06:56Red scarf? Oh, come on.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Brai-i-ins!
0:07:01 > 0:07:03You're Commando Awesome?
0:07:03 > 0:07:05SurferGal8?
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Awesome? You're not even Commando "meh"!
0:07:14 > 0:07:19All my names are aspirational. What about you? You don't even surf.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22I surf the internet, duh!
0:07:22 > 0:07:24We didn't just lie on our profiles.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27I had some stuff on mine that you liked.
0:07:27 > 0:07:32As if! But your favourite movie is Zombie Crossing Guard, The Musical.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36And you wrote that you liked pineapple cheese jellybeans,
0:07:36 > 0:07:40which I find delicious. So I started chatting with you.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44I so am into all those things. What do we do?
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Why don't we start over? We like each other.
0:07:46 > 0:07:52- Not "like" like, but we like each other.- OK, I'll give you one like.
0:07:52 > 0:07:58And we're both teenagers with feelings, so one like
0:07:58 > 0:08:04- could turn into two, and then three...- Sit down, you two.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Detention is not about standing around, yakking.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Hey, hey, hey.
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Serge!
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Take a seat.
0:08:12 > 0:08:17Check out what I did wrong this time.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21Take that, throw it on the ground.
0:08:21 > 0:08:27- Serge, no littering in the halls. - It wasn't Serge, it was me.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31I know you, Jane. No need to cover for this miscreant.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34You, detention, young man.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38See, I told you it was easy to get detention.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Two points.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Serge!
0:08:43 > 0:08:49- Shall we blow this popsicle stand? - I like your made-up old expressions.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51I mean, let's get out of here.
0:08:51 > 0:08:56- Gotcha.- Hey, Serge. Look, I need Telson out of here.
0:08:56 > 0:09:01Done. Mr Telson? I saw them bringing doughnuts to the teachers' lounge.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04- I heard they had crullers.- Come on!
0:09:04 > 0:09:07I was just there!
0:09:07 > 0:09:11Thanks, Serge. Crullers are so good!
0:09:11 > 0:09:14- Yes, we're free!- Freedom!
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Aaargh, brains!
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Working your usual charm with the ladies, I see.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27Just my luck. You're the only girl who'll talk to me.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Anyway, got to go.
0:09:30 > 0:09:35Time for Operation Find Brittany A Better Guy Than Porter to begin.
0:09:35 > 0:09:36Aaargh!
0:09:36 > 0:09:40Aaargh to you too, Porter.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50First, Serge Del Vechio!
0:09:50 > 0:09:53This guy's moving up over here, this guy's here.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57Why is this guy still on the team? This is me right here.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00I'm dodging around right through these two guys,
0:10:00 > 0:10:03boom, touchdown! The crowd's going wild!
0:10:03 > 0:10:06"Serge!"
0:10:08 > 0:10:09Next.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15You're awfully quiet.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Are you nervous?
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Are you shy?
0:10:20 > 0:10:22What are you doing?
0:10:22 > 0:10:27I'm playing hard to get. Is it working?
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Next!
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Next.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39I don't really like brains, Porter.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Or jellybeans. Do you want me to like them?
0:10:42 > 0:10:45No. Is everyone trying out for Little Red Riding Hood?
0:10:45 > 0:10:49- What do you mean? - Everyone's wearing red scarves.
0:10:49 > 0:10:53It's a fashion trend. Brittany started it. And I followed,
0:10:53 > 0:10:57- like I always do.- Of course! Brittany's SurferGal8. Thanks.
0:10:57 > 0:11:03- Great way to kill the tension.- I didn't know the gym had a trampoline.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06- How Commando Awesome is that? - It's SurferGal-ish.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09OK, look, Mr Telson will be back any minute.
0:11:09 > 0:11:15I was in the teachers' lounge for 30 minutes. No doughnuts, nothing!
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Whoa. Where's the Listern sisters and Serge?
0:11:18 > 0:11:21Oh, they skipped out when you left.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25Oh, they did? That gives me ten minutes to get my train.
0:11:25 > 0:11:26Detention's over, go!
0:11:26 > 0:11:30We should do this again. Not detention, the fun part.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34- Sure, like a date thingy. - Sure, why not?- Diner, six?
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Sounds good.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43- I figured out who SurferGal8 is. - It's Brittany.- No, it's Brittany.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47Wait, you know? I've just bothered every girl in a red scarf.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51We have a date. We might turn the online thing into a real thing.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Yeah, well, that's great for you.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57That's awesome. I'm glad you guys get along.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01All right.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07Brittany and Carl? Now, there's a couple with a twist.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10Let's see if Carl would be a perfect match for Brittany.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13Colour me blonde, baby.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18Hey, Carl. Like, whatevs and stuff.
0:12:18 > 0:12:23- Oh, hey again. What's up?- We need to get to the diner and have a date.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25I know. What about later?
0:12:25 > 0:12:27What about now?
0:12:27 > 0:12:30- What about OK?- Of course!
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Ovvy, lol, lol, lol, lol, ruffle,
0:12:32 > 0:12:37ruffle, lols. And finish it off with whatevs, of course.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Whatevs!
0:12:44 > 0:12:48This has been great. Nothing like a bucket of deep-fried fries
0:12:48 > 0:12:52to make you think about what's really important.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55You're so deep, your brain is deep-fried deep.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59- You're hilarious. We should do this another time.- Next week?- Perfect.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01It has been.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Until next time.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10Carl is the perfect match for the real Brittany.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13It took a couple of tries, but I figured it out.
0:13:13 > 0:13:19I'm a Cupid without the bow. Or the arrow. OK, I'm nothing like Cupid.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Boy, I'm good.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28What are you up to, Denise?
0:13:28 > 0:13:33Service was great, so 15%. But the date was better, so 20%.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36But I'm not tipping on the date, so 17%.
0:13:38 > 0:13:42Carl, I am so excited about our date!
0:13:42 > 0:13:43What?
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- It's good here.- What do you mean?
0:13:45 > 0:13:49To eat. SurferGal8 brought her appetito.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52That's foreign for yums.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Well, you seemed to enjoy the jumbo fries.
0:13:55 > 0:14:00They are golden like my complexion and jumbo like my talent!
0:14:00 > 0:14:01What's going on?
0:14:01 > 0:14:06Duh, we're on a date. I thought you liked spending time with me.
0:14:06 > 0:14:11- I do. And I just did, and I guess I will again.- So what's the probs?
0:14:11 > 0:14:15- Let's order.- Waiter, could we get another order of jumbo fries?
0:14:15 > 0:14:19- Weird!- Jumbo appetito!
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Hello, Jane.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29- Principal Malone?- Yes?
0:14:29 > 0:14:30Ahem.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33- Hmm.- Hmm.- Hmm?
0:14:34 > 0:14:37We'll use words?
0:14:44 > 0:14:46I don't understand.
0:14:48 > 0:14:53Look, "no loitering in the halls", but I'm loitering in the halls!
0:14:53 > 0:14:58You've got a detention, young lady. No yelling in the hallways.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07It feels like my stomach is punching itself inside me.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11- Do you have butterflies too?- No, the two dinners. I know of double dates,
0:15:11 > 0:15:16- but this is ridiculous.- You have not been romantic at all this evening.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20It's hard to be with a sack of deep-fried potatoes in your guts.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24Ew! Carl, we are on a date. Stop talking about your guts.
0:15:24 > 0:15:29Well, it was a date at first, but now...oh, I'm so full, I can't talk.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33Oh, you are so full of boring, is what you are.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38- What is your problem?- Stomach cramps.
0:15:38 > 0:15:43Did you take snooze juice before you got here? You're making me yawn.
0:15:43 > 0:15:48- So are the carbs in my guts.- If you say guts one more time, I'm leaving!
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Guts!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Oh, we are over!
0:15:55 > 0:15:58We're over! And I so just lost my appetito!
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Why would a girl go on two dates in a row,
0:16:07 > 0:16:10complete with two meals and two desserts?
0:16:10 > 0:16:15Your first date was with Denise. I saw her change back at the diner.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19- Why would she do that?- Could be any reason, but I've decided
0:16:19 > 0:16:23it's because she's a complete wacky wibbly-wobbedy doo.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26- Is that the medical term, Dr Jackson?- Yeah. Look it up.
0:16:26 > 0:16:31Then I was mean to the real Brittany. I have to apologise.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35And I have to get revenge on Denise for messing with your love life.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39Brittany, I discovered the identity of Commando Awesome.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Oh, I forgot I asked you to do that.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43No need to thank me.
0:16:43 > 0:16:48- Don't worry, I won't.- The identity of Commando Awesome is...- Carl?
0:16:48 > 0:16:51- What?- I figured it out in two seconds.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54No, it's not Carl, though that's what I was going to say.
0:16:54 > 0:16:59- It's Porter, but it should be Carl. - Never snoop for me again.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02No, you don't get it. Carl is your perfect match.
0:17:06 > 0:17:10I never want to talk to Carl Montclaire ever again!
0:17:13 > 0:17:16- Hi, Jane. Bye, Jane. - Wait, I have detention!
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Well, I excuse you from detention.
0:17:19 > 0:17:23- But I worked so hard to get it! - I want to go home!- I want to stay!
0:17:24 > 0:17:25Suit yourself.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29I'm finally in the detention club.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31And don't waste energy.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37Huge news, Denise.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39The biggest news ever.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43After their date last night, Carl is in love with Brittany.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45What? No way! She hates him.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49I was afraid of that. The poor guy will have his heart broken.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Can you meet him in Mr Telson's room and sort it out?
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Uh-huh. Sure.
0:17:59 > 0:18:03Time for some payback.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Please let this be the last time I have to do this.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Hey, Brittany, how are you doing?
0:18:14 > 0:18:18Awesome! I mean, I am Brittany, so I'm always awesome.
0:18:18 > 0:18:19And I'm Carl!
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Please tell me you'll be mine.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24Er...I'm surprised.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27I'm surprised too, by how much I like you.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31And I really like you too, Carl,
0:18:31 > 0:18:35but I'm not ready to commit to anybody right now.
0:18:35 > 0:18:40But we had such a great date! It was a fun, super-duper time.
0:18:40 > 0:18:41Oh!
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Calm down.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Why, why, oh, why?
0:18:47 > 0:18:50You are breaking poor Carl's heart!
0:18:50 > 0:18:53I mean, you are breaking my heart!
0:18:53 > 0:18:57I refer to myself in the third person when I'm upset.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Oh, Carl's so sad.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07I changed my mind.
0:19:07 > 0:19:08Sure, sure, sure.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10What?
0:19:10 > 0:19:14I do want to be your girlfriend, Carl. Let's kiss.
0:19:14 > 0:19:15Huh?
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Yeah! Come on, smoochy-face.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20You can't just change your mind like that.
0:19:20 > 0:19:26I'm a girl, that's what we do. I want to kiss that cute face of yours,
0:19:26 > 0:19:30unless you don't want to kiss me for some reason, Carl.
0:19:30 > 0:19:35- Then why don't you do it, Brittany? - OK.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39- OK.- So I guess now we...- Kiss.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48I can't believe you kissed me, Porter!
0:19:48 > 0:19:53- I didn't want to do it.- Your lips didn't complain.- They were in shock!
0:19:53 > 0:19:57- I hope you learnt your lesson. - Oh, you are the worst...!
0:19:57 > 0:20:01I'm glad that Commando Awesome/SurferGal8 thing is over.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05- It gave me a lot of trouble.- You? I had to kiss Denise to get revenge.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08- Ooh! Yeah, you sure showed her, Porter.- Later.
0:20:10 > 0:20:15- Hey, Brittany.- Carl.- I'm sorry for fighting with you on our date.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18As a peace offering, I got you jellybeans.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22Well, I was a little out of line, so...sorry.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25- Can I walk you to science?- Sure.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29- Maybe we're better off as friends. - I did have fun, though.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Me too. And we'll always have detention.
0:20:31 > 0:20:36- AS ZOMBIE:- Detention! - De-ten-tion!
0:20:44 > 0:20:48Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:20:48 > 0:20:51E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk