Montclaire on the Air

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0:00:02 > 0:00:06I'm doing a review for that new movie Undercover Vampire.

0:00:06 > 0:00:10I love when she was all, "Freeze, bloodsucker! "I'll crack this case!

0:00:10 > 0:00:14"Right after I sharpen my fangs!" So good! So funny!

0:00:14 > 0:00:18It was the best movie about an undercover vampire I've ever seen.

0:00:18 > 0:00:22Oh, please. That movie was awful...

0:00:21 > 0:00:22So, we all agree! It was awesome!

0:00:22 > 0:00:26- Did you see that?- What?- I feel like nobody's listening to me these days.

0:00:26 > 0:00:31- Oh, oh! Uh, hypothalamus!- Sorry, Carl, the answer is hypothalamus,

0:00:31 > 0:00:34from the Greek 'hypo' and the Greek, 'thalamus'.

0:00:34 > 0:00:38Now, moving onto the pituitary gland!

0:00:38 > 0:00:41CRASH!

0:00:44 > 0:00:49You know, I've got things to say. I've got opinions, ideas, anecdotes.

0:00:49 > 0:00:53If you want to be heard - take over the school's radio show!

0:00:53 > 0:00:57That's not a half bad idea. Could you magic me up some DJ chops?

0:00:57 > 0:01:01So I can freestyle and rhymestyle, juice the students. What do you say?

0:01:01 > 0:01:06Carl, you don't need my help. You've already got the gift for radio gab.

0:01:07 > 0:01:12Listen to the mellifluous sounds of your man Montclaire.

0:01:14 > 0:01:17# Let's give it one more shot

0:01:17 > 0:01:21# Let's give it everything we've got

0:01:21 > 0:01:25# Cos if we get it right

0:01:25 > 0:01:30# We will surely conquer the world

0:01:30 > 0:01:32# Hey! I've got my wings

0:01:32 > 0:01:34# From an angel

0:01:34 > 0:01:37# Now we're wingin' it all the time

0:01:37 > 0:01:40# I'm giving wings to an angel

0:01:40 > 0:01:43# Always an angel

0:01:43 > 0:01:47# Now we've got to learn to fly. #

0:01:53 > 0:01:56- Hey, Denise, Dr Cassabi. - Hey, Carl. How are you doing?

0:01:56 > 0:02:00- Good.- What about me? - Don't really care, do I?

0:02:00 > 0:02:05Well, I'm off to ask Principal Malone about hosting the radio show.

0:02:05 > 0:02:07Listen up, girl bands are now in.

0:02:07 > 0:02:12I'm a girl and I like bands. So, let's make it happen!

0:02:12 > 0:02:16Oh, Dr C, I love to sing and I am dying to get my own AIT assignment.

0:02:16 > 0:02:20# Helping Brittany will be good practice. #

0:02:20 > 0:02:25Hey, you can sharpen your skills, and maybe you will be bril...liant!

0:02:25 > 0:02:29- Stop me before I rhyme again.- What do you mean? That barely rhymed.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32It'll be hard having a successful band with Brittany's voice.

0:02:32 > 0:02:37Brittany can be quite the handful. Denise will need lots of help.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39Yeah, I see where this is going...

0:02:39 > 0:02:43Porter, I'd like you to help Denise out with this one.

0:02:48 > 0:02:52# Welcome to the radio booth

0:02:52 > 0:02:55# BHRS is part of your youth!

0:02:55 > 0:02:58# Make sure you don't act like a goof!

0:02:58 > 0:03:01# Uh-oh, I just chipped my tooth. #

0:03:01 > 0:03:02Good one.

0:03:02 > 0:03:04No, I actually chipped my tooth.

0:03:04 > 0:03:08I got overexcited watching a movie last night, eating popcorn.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11Carl, you are the best person to host the radio show.

0:03:11 > 0:03:15- Nobody else volunteered, did they? - No. But that makes you the best!

0:03:15 > 0:03:20- You're right down the middle of the road.- Great, I'm a yellow line.

0:03:20 > 0:03:25Hey, there are a lot of lines. Solid lines, double lines. Dotted lines.

0:03:25 > 0:03:29- Sometimes a solid line with a dotted line.- So! How do I broadcast?

0:03:29 > 0:03:34- It's one of the most expensive, state of the art systems ever built.- Great!

0:03:34 > 0:03:39In 1987. So you just flick that switch there and you're on the air.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41I'll leave it to you, Carl.

0:03:41 > 0:03:46Porter just told me you're hosting the school radio show

0:03:46 > 0:03:49Can I be your sidekick? Please? It's my destiny.

0:03:49 > 0:03:54Well, if it's your destiny... How is it your destiny exactly?

0:03:54 > 0:03:58- My mom always told me I had a face for radio.- Fair enough.

0:04:03 > 0:04:06Oh, uh, no, thanks. We already have a blonde.

0:04:07 > 0:04:10- What's your strategy for your audition?- I'll wow her.

0:04:10 > 0:04:15- Don't sound better than Brittany. - Road kill sounds better than her!

0:04:15 > 0:04:18OK, Denise, you're up.

0:04:19 > 0:04:24IN TUNE # You are my sunshine My only sunshine

0:04:24 > 0:04:29# You make me happy when skies are grey

0:04:29 > 0:04:32OFF-KEY SINGING

0:04:32 > 0:04:37# You'll never know, dear How much I love you

0:04:37 > 0:04:40# Please don't take my sunshine away. #

0:04:40 > 0:04:43OK, you're in!

0:04:43 > 0:04:48You know, Brittany, what this band needs is a manager.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50How about Porter?

0:04:50 > 0:04:54- Excellent idea! Porter, you're in!- Thanks.

0:04:56 > 0:04:59Just keep it moving.

0:05:00 > 0:05:04- OK, Jane, you're in! - But I haven't guitared yet.

0:05:04 > 0:05:08To create a girl band, all the girls have to have different hair colours.

0:05:08 > 0:05:12You're the only redhead, so you're in. I can already taste our Grammy.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Good morning, Bennett High!

0:05:14 > 0:05:18This is Carl Montclaire and my maniac sound man, Alex Rodriguez!

0:05:18 > 0:05:21Comin' at ya from the BHRS booth! Didn't know we had a radio station?

0:05:21 > 0:05:24Well, neither did we until today!

0:05:24 > 0:05:27Let's kick things off by telling you the cafeteria specials,

0:05:27 > 0:05:32followed by a list of restaurants nearby so you can get a good meal!

0:05:32 > 0:05:36Carl, I heard your BHRS broadcast, you were hilarious.

0:05:36 > 0:05:38Thanks, Jane. It's been pretty cool.

0:05:38 > 0:05:43Carl is being modest. He's the voice of a generation. Generation Carl.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46- It's Montclaire on the air! - The name wasn't my idea.

0:05:46 > 0:05:50# This is Montclaire on the air! #

0:05:50 > 0:05:54Whatever. I paid attention during announcements for the first time.

0:05:54 > 0:05:59I learned our school has a library. Next broadcast, tell me where it is.

0:05:59 > 0:06:04- I can show you.- No. I want to hear it from Montclaire on the air.

0:06:05 > 0:06:09The drama club's planning a musical about healthy eating.

0:06:09 > 0:06:12Yep, thrilling live performance - kids singing about broccoli!

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Making fun of school stuff? Gutsy.

0:06:17 > 0:06:21The most popular shock jocks are the ones that push the boundaries.

0:06:21 > 0:06:24As a matter of fact, I think it's time we took it up a notch.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27We're back and ready to attack!

0:06:29 > 0:06:31PHONE RINGS Hello?

0:06:31 > 0:06:34Hi, is this Mr Principal Malone?

0:06:34 > 0:06:37Yes, it is. How can I help you?

0:06:38 > 0:06:41This is radio station WTH and your name was picked in a random draw.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45I'm calling to let you know that you've won a new car!

0:06:46 > 0:06:47Ahhhhhhhhh!

0:06:47 > 0:06:50Wooohoooo!

0:06:51 > 0:06:53I won a new car!

0:06:53 > 0:06:59A shiny, new car! I will drive this thing into the ground!

0:06:59 > 0:07:03That's right, Principal Malone! You've won a brand-new car!

0:07:03 > 0:07:06You can come pick it up...never!

0:07:10 > 0:07:13This is Montclaire on the air, your favourite radio DJ!

0:07:13 > 0:07:17You just heard me prank the Principal. Montclaire out.

0:07:19 > 0:07:23How was my horn work today, Carl? I felt like I was in the zone.

0:07:23 > 0:07:26Some of the best horn work I've ever seen.

0:07:26 > 0:07:30- What is the meaning of this? - It was just a joke.

0:07:30 > 0:07:34- I laughed really hard. - You shouldn't pull pranks

0:07:34 > 0:07:39on unsuspecting people who've wanted their own car for a very long time.

0:07:42 > 0:07:47I'm pulling the plug on the show. Alex, how do I do that?

0:07:47 > 0:07:52- Principal Malone, no! - Carl Montclaire, you're off the air.

0:07:57 > 0:08:00I heard about your radio show getting canned.

0:08:00 > 0:08:04- Don't worry, Montclaire on the air is staging a comeback.- How?

0:08:04 > 0:08:08I'm going underground. The people will not be denied.

0:08:08 > 0:08:10I was hoping that you could help?

0:08:10 > 0:08:15I don't know, Carl. It really isn't in my job description.

0:08:15 > 0:08:20People are listening to me! I'm a hero, their whisper in the wind.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22As long as you don't break any wind.

0:08:22 > 0:08:27This magic microphone has a direct line into the school's PA system.

0:08:27 > 0:08:30Montclaire on the air!

0:08:30 > 0:08:32I knew you'd come through for me.

0:08:32 > 0:08:34But I need a favour in return.

0:08:34 > 0:08:39I promised Brittany, Jane and Denise their band could sing on your show.

0:08:39 > 0:08:43As manager of the band, you have to get us on Montclaire on the Air.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46I do not care how you do it.

0:08:46 > 0:08:49- I want my 15 months of fame. - 15 minutes.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52However fast you can make it happen.

0:08:52 > 0:08:56- Are they any good?- Do you want the microphone or not?- Fine!

0:08:56 > 0:09:01- But I'm broadcasting from a secret location. You can't tell anyone.- OK.

0:09:05 > 0:09:09- Check, check, check! - HE BEATBOXES

0:09:12 > 0:09:17Good morning, Bennett High! Yeah, I am back on the air with Montclaire,

0:09:17 > 0:09:21broadcasting from a super-secret lair

0:09:21 > 0:09:26so that, between your classes, I can keep bringing truth to the masses.

0:09:26 > 0:09:30Coach Heinrich could use the cafeteria's cookies as hockey pucks!

0:09:30 > 0:09:34But it didn't stop Principal Malone from scoffing down six of them!

0:09:34 > 0:09:38Principal Malone, I've got one left, but you've got to find me first.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40That's right, come and find me!

0:09:43 > 0:09:47No running in the hall! Dag nabbit!

0:09:51 > 0:09:55It's 10:15, which means it's time for our daily forecast.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58- Where's Carl?- I don't know.

0:09:58 > 0:10:02He said it was too dangerous for me to join his mission.

0:10:02 > 0:10:05I'm just reliving the good old days.

0:10:05 > 0:10:09I took Montclaire off the air once and I'll do it again!

0:10:09 > 0:10:13PLAYS FANFARE You can say that again.

0:10:13 > 0:10:15PLAYS FANFARE AGAIN

0:10:15 > 0:10:17It's a figure of speech.

0:10:17 > 0:10:22Here's a preview of the hottest new girl band at Bennett High!

0:10:22 > 0:10:25Brittany and the not-Brittanys!

0:10:28 > 0:10:32# Our heart is like a red Red rose that's going to hit you

0:10:32 > 0:10:33OFF KEY: # Right between the nose

0:10:33 > 0:10:35# When we get up on the floor

0:10:35 > 0:10:39OFF KEY: # And dance I'm going to put you in a major trance

0:10:39 > 0:10:41# You'll need a crowbar to escape my world

0:10:41 > 0:10:45# When you leave you're going to wish you heard... #

0:10:45 > 0:10:48They keep singing like this, I'm going to lose listeners.

0:10:48 > 0:10:49And my lunch.

0:10:51 > 0:10:55HARMONISED: # I want to look down below from above, I want to hypnotise your love

0:10:55 > 0:11:00# I want to look down below from above I want to hypnotise

0:11:00 > 0:11:03# Hypnotise your love. #

0:11:06 > 0:11:09Thanks for crushing my dreams like some sort of...

0:11:09 > 0:11:11dream-crushing machine!

0:11:12 > 0:11:15Usually when a human cries, you're not helping.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18I was trying to make sure Brittany's girl band sounded good.

0:11:18 > 0:11:21Well, Brittany's girl band also needs Brittany.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24That's why it's called Brittany's girl band.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29Where is Carl broadcasting from?

0:11:29 > 0:11:33I don't know, but what I do know is the radio was invented by Marconi.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35That is a person, not a pasta.

0:11:35 > 0:11:37But, if it was a pasta, I'd eat it.

0:11:37 > 0:11:40Carl is broadcasting from his heart.

0:11:40 > 0:11:44How can you pin that down to a single location?

0:11:44 > 0:11:47Who cares where Carl is? There are real problems in the world

0:11:47 > 0:11:50Like how my girl band freaked out with jealousy

0:11:50 > 0:11:53and tried to sing over me! Why don't they get it?

0:11:53 > 0:11:55The blonde is ALWAYS the star!

0:11:55 > 0:11:57Why is the blonde always the star?

0:11:57 > 0:12:01You try to lend people a hand and they don't even appreciate it.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04- Where's Carl?- That's a good question, Principal Malone,

0:12:04 > 0:12:07but I think the more important question is - how is all this affecting you?

0:12:07 > 0:12:10It's very, very stressful.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15Tell me where he is. TELL ME!

0:12:17 > 0:12:22Where's Brittany? We've been waiting here for 15 minutes.

0:12:22 > 0:12:24I called this meeting to tell you that I'm dropping you from my band.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26You're dropping us?

0:12:26 > 0:12:30I think somebody dropped you on your head!

0:12:30 > 0:12:32My perfect head has never been dropped.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34Then maybe it was peroxide damage.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37You did not talk smack about the blonde.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39- What if I did?- Oh, no, you didn't!

0:12:39 > 0:12:40Oh, yes, she did!

0:12:40 > 0:12:43- You better not have did! - Oh, I so did, did!

0:12:43 > 0:12:45Then bring it on, Casey!

0:12:45 > 0:12:46Back off, Hanson!

0:12:46 > 0:12:49You better check yourself, Simmons!

0:12:49 > 0:12:51FURIOUS CLICKING

0:12:52 > 0:12:56Hey! Everybody, calm down! OK? Can we try and resolve this

0:12:56 > 0:12:58without using so many cheerleading movie cliches?

0:13:00 > 0:13:01GIRLS: Ugh!

0:13:01 > 0:13:02I guess not.

0:13:15 > 0:13:17Principal Malone is trying to shut me down,

0:13:17 > 0:13:19but I say fight the power, stick it to the man,

0:13:19 > 0:13:22and more importantly, tease him about his bus pass!

0:13:22 > 0:13:26CARL LAUGHS I will find you, Carl Montclaire.

0:13:26 > 0:13:31I WILL FIND YOU!

0:13:33 > 0:13:35I'll never find him.

0:13:35 > 0:13:39'I, you, we, will not bend to the will of a bureaucrat.'

0:13:39 > 0:13:41- 'We cannot be silenced!' - < CRASH

0:13:41 > 0:13:43Wait a second...

0:13:43 > 0:13:46After 23 years of being at this school,

0:13:46 > 0:13:49I know every creak and groan and clang of this building!

0:13:49 > 0:13:51'Principal Malone!'

0:13:51 > 0:13:53A-ha...

0:13:53 > 0:13:56I know where you are, Carl Montclaire.

0:13:57 > 0:14:00Let me tell you something else about Principal Malone.

0:14:00 > 0:14:01DOOR OPENS

0:14:01 > 0:14:04A-ha!

0:14:04 > 0:14:07He just walked in the door.

0:14:07 > 0:14:09Time for a word from our sponsors.

0:14:10 > 0:14:13I found you, Carl.

0:14:13 > 0:14:14Oh, man, shut down again.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17I can see why you'd think that, the truth is, I want you on air.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19- What?!- I love your show. - Really?

0:14:19 > 0:14:23- What about when I said that you were desperate for a ukulele audience? - Loved it!

0:14:23 > 0:14:27- And the thing about you always watching movies by yourself? - Hilarious!

0:14:27 > 0:14:32- And the one about every student in the school getting a car before you? - OK, that one hurt.

0:14:32 > 0:14:34But, the students love you and your slams.

0:14:34 > 0:14:38- They're perfect. - So what? You want me to just keep insulting you on the air?

0:14:38 > 0:14:42Yes, but while you have the students' attention doing that,

0:14:42 > 0:14:44I'd like you to work in some instructions.

0:14:44 > 0:14:49Start by telling the students to walk on the right-hand side of the hallway.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51- Wait, what?!- Do you want to stay on the air?

0:14:51 > 0:14:53- I'll get to the radio booth. - No, no...

0:14:53 > 0:14:56The students listen to you because you're against me.

0:14:56 > 0:14:59You go back to radio booth, you'll lose your rebel cred.

0:14:59 > 0:15:02You have to keep doing your secret broadcasts from the boiler room.

0:15:02 > 0:15:04It's the perfect set up, Carl.

0:15:06 > 0:15:08# Uh oh

0:15:08 > 0:15:15# I set out on my mission to see

0:15:15 > 0:15:17# How it flows

0:15:17 > 0:15:20# Do-do-do-do-do-do!

0:15:20 > 0:15:22# How it flows. #

0:15:25 > 0:15:28How'd we do?

0:15:28 > 0:15:33Wow. We have 15 cents, a piece of gum and a button.

0:15:33 > 0:15:34And the gum's been chewed already.

0:15:34 > 0:15:38- I'm going to go get some water.- How are things going now, Denise?

0:15:38 > 0:15:41Horribly. Jane and I sound great, but no-one cares.

0:15:41 > 0:15:43Convince Brittany to rejoin the band.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46Sure. Right after I convince her to take singing and etiquette lessons.

0:15:46 > 0:15:49You're an AIT and your job is to help humans,

0:15:49 > 0:15:51not grab the spotlight for yourself.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53But Brittany sounds horrible.

0:15:53 > 0:15:54Yet people still love her.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57- How does that work? - She's got something special

0:15:57 > 0:15:59and you've got to help her with that.

0:15:59 > 0:16:01I've got some gum in my hat.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04And a nickel just went right down my back.

0:16:07 > 0:16:09Why is everyone acting so weird?

0:16:09 > 0:16:11Cos I told them to.

0:16:11 > 0:16:12Huh! Cool.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19What are you doing?

0:16:19 > 0:16:21Sticking it to the man by keeping my locker clean.

0:16:21 > 0:16:23You don't have to do everything that I say on the radio show.

0:16:23 > 0:16:25Oh, Serge disagrees.

0:16:25 > 0:16:27Montclaire on the Air speaks the truth.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29And the truth can't be ignored.

0:16:29 > 0:16:30I say down with the man!

0:16:30 > 0:16:33Well, you wanted people to listen, Carl. They're listening.

0:16:33 > 0:16:39No, they're brainwashed. Principal Malone's only letting me do my show as long as I spread his propaganda.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42Be careful that you don't get manipulated into doing things.

0:16:42 > 0:16:47How's that girl band that Dr Cassabi manipulated you into managing?

0:16:47 > 0:16:48- Point taken.- Yeah.

0:16:48 > 0:16:50Stop doing that, students!

0:16:50 > 0:16:53I don't want all this neatness and order and scholastic ability!

0:16:53 > 0:16:55I want you to be messy and running

0:16:55 > 0:16:59and talking on your cell phones in the halls! Oh, please, stop!

0:17:05 > 0:17:08I'm really sorry for over-shadowing you on the radio show.

0:17:08 > 0:17:11You are not sweet-talking me back into the band.

0:17:11 > 0:17:15From now on, Brittany is only putting out solo albums.

0:17:15 > 0:17:19- We need you. You make me want to be a better girl band.- You may continue.

0:17:19 > 0:17:23- You've got something special, Brittany.- I know, I really do.

0:17:23 > 0:17:26- You just need a little help. - With what?

0:17:26 > 0:17:30- You need help making people like us look good.- That's a tall order.

0:17:30 > 0:17:35So let us help you help us by us being better

0:17:35 > 0:17:38- so it's easier for you to make us look good.- I can do that.

0:17:38 > 0:17:43- Hey, Denise, ready to busk the lunch crowd?- Yep, but only as a trio.

0:17:43 > 0:17:48- What's a girl band without a beautiful blonde?- That'd be awful!

0:17:48 > 0:17:49I'll do it. Reunion show.

0:17:53 > 0:17:56# Get up to start the day

0:17:56 > 0:18:00# I'm movin' on, I'm movin' on

0:18:00 > 0:18:03# I'm kickin' out the old cliches...

0:18:03 > 0:18:07# I'm movin' on, I'm movin' on... #

0:18:08 > 0:18:11- OFF KEY: - # Can I find a brand-new way?... #

0:18:11 > 0:18:15- IN TUNE: - # Ahhhhhhhhhh

0:18:15 > 0:18:18# Toda-a-ay

0:18:18 > 0:18:26# I can make it half the way Keepin' on, keepin' on

0:18:26 > 0:18:34# I just find repeat and replay Keepin' on, keepin' on

0:18:34 > 0:18:37# I think I found a brand-new way

0:18:37 > 0:18:41# Ahhhhhhhhh

0:18:41 > 0:18:44# Today. #

0:18:44 > 0:18:47APPLAUSE

0:18:47 > 0:18:50# It's Montclaire on the Air! #

0:18:52 > 0:18:55Great! Carl, you've done a great job

0:18:55 > 0:18:58of getting everyone to walk on the right-hand side of the hallway,

0:18:58 > 0:19:02but could you get them to walk in alphabetical order?

0:19:02 > 0:19:03Got some new stuff.

0:19:05 > 0:19:08"Principal Malone should wear a neck brace

0:19:09 > 0:19:12"to support the weight of his huge brain." Good one.

0:19:12 > 0:19:16Oh, I'll get out of your hair. I don't want to interfere.

0:19:24 > 0:19:29Students of Bennett High, Montclaire on the Air has been corrupted

0:19:29 > 0:19:33and co-opted by the system! Listen.

0:19:33 > 0:19:35"Carl, you've done a great job

0:19:35 > 0:19:38"of getting everyone to walk on the right-hand side of the hallway,

0:19:38 > 0:19:42"but could you get them to walk in alphabetical order?"

0:19:42 > 0:19:46Principal Malone's been controlling everything I say on my show.

0:19:46 > 0:19:49There's only one thing I can do.

0:19:50 > 0:19:53This is my final broadcast.

0:19:53 > 0:19:58Montclaire on the Air is now forever off the air.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04Stop walking like that! Can't you guys see?

0:20:04 > 0:20:08You are playing right into Principal Malone's hands!

0:20:08 > 0:20:11My radio show's history. I won't be needing this any more.

0:20:11 > 0:20:15No worries. It was fun while it lasted, right?

0:20:18 > 0:20:21You planned for this to happen!

0:20:21 > 0:20:25You thought you could control the students through me forever.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28Well, I bet you didn't plan for this to happen.

0:20:28 > 0:20:32"I have a new car! A shiny, shiny, shiny new car!

0:20:32 > 0:20:37"Shiny, shiny, shiny..." Alex, how do I turn this off?!

0:20:37 > 0:20:40"I have a new car! A shiny, shiny, shiny..."

0:20:40 > 0:20:46- Now no-one's listening to you again. - You know what? That's fine by me.